Chapter 8

Buffy sat on her sofa in silence, overwhelmed with emotions. Buffy has always been wary , not allowing anyone to get too close to her and for a long time, it worked. She was comfortable keeping people at arm's length. It was convenient but why does she get affected when people call her out on it?

A knock on her door startled her and she quickly blinked away her teary eyes, walking to the mirror she had near the door making sure she was presentable. Taking a few more moments to compose herself, she took a deep breath and opened her door, revealing a smiling Angelus.

"Good morning", he greeted and leaned down, kissing her lips.

When they broke the kiss, Buffy wanted to move away but Angelus wrapped his arms around her and nestled against her neck. Buffy was taken aback and along with the state of emotions she was going through, it was confusing the heck out of her. But this is Angelus…he had this power to soothe and calm her. She closed her eyes and allowed his presence to provide the solace she needed at this moment.

"I missed you", he whispered in her ears.

His confession shouldn't be startling. Buffy was getting used to his open affections and Angelus has never hid his feelings for her but rightfully, all things considered, it should irk her, trigger her defence mechanism but with Angelus, each and every time, the feeling to split came only for a fleeting moment before it went away.

"I know I promised coffee but I thought we could go out for breakfast instead", Angelus said.

He released her and smiled down at her only to have the smile wiped away when he noticed her teary eyes. He cupped her face, immediately worried.

"What's wrong?"

She shook her head and wrapped her arms around his waist resting her head on his chest. Angelus rubbed her back gently.

"Do you mind if we stay in?"

"Of course not. Are you ok?"

She shook her head again.

"Hey…" Angelus gently pulled away and cupped her chin, making her look at him.

"I'm right here…you can tell me anything".

Buffy didn't reply and tiptoed to kiss him. Gently at first but quickly turned passionate and she wrapped her arms around his neck levering herself against his tall form. Angelus's worry didn't subside and he broke off the kiss.

He stared at her, wanting her to clarify what was going on but Buffy just dove in for another kiss and Angelus was helpless against her charm. She momentarily broke the kiss and whispered, "I need you", against his lips before resuming the kiss hungrily.

Never able to resist her and feeling his own crave for her manifest, he reciprocates. Pulling her closer, he lifted her off the floor and walked swiftly to her bedroom. He laid her on the bed and covered her body with his, never breaking their kiss.

Buffy didn't know what got over her. All she knew was that amidst all her confusing feelings and doubts about herself, one thing was always clear to her; she wanted Angelus in a way she wanted no other.

She peeled his jacket throwing it carelessly, his shirt following suit before her hands reached for the buttons of his denim, hastily unbuckling it, pushing the pants down wanting to feel his skin. Angelus reached for the hem of her sundress, pulling it off her wanting the same. Tossing the dress aimlessly, he took over undressing himself, chucking his jeans away.

Completely nude, he weaved himself in between her parted legs, his stiffening shaft against her still covered core as he leaned in, kissing her passionately, his tongue delved, seeking hers to duel with. She moaned at his insatiable fervour, as he pushed her into the mattress, placing his full weight on his petite lover; his lust-filled mind not thinking rationally, wanting to be even closer to her. Buffy herself didn't notice, drowning in the carnally induced state of mind, finding his hunger for her intoxicating.

His lips travelled to her neck, burying his face in as he suckled and bit the tender skin. Buffy wrapped her arms around his back, her fingers threading his hair, adoring the texture of it. Angelus began moving down, taking a pebbled nipple in his mouth. Buffy gasped as he lovingly licked and kissed her breasts, engulfing the perfect bosom making her arch, helpless against the sensation. He moved lower to her stomach, spending a few moments on her navel, peppering kisses on the taut skin as his fingers peeled the offensive lace obstructing him from his desire.

Hauling the garment away, he rests his nose against her core, breathing her in, enamored by her tantalizing scent. His tongue began licking her nether lips and she groaned, as the ministration on her sensitive skin sent a shiver through her. His intensity increased, tripling her natural moisture that was now wetting his lips. He devoured her like a hungry man, manipulating and playing with her sensitive part relentlessly. His tongue delved, teasing and flicking her nub easily, savouring the familiar taste.

Buffy keened, her head thrown back salaciously, desperate for release. Her hand tugged his hair pushing him closer, encouraging him to amplify his ministrations. Recognizing her every whimper and silent plea, he delivered being the generous lover that he is. He bit her nub harshly and that did it…she screamed in rapture and he greedily savoured her natural essence that tastes like nectar in his mouth.

Buffy's mind was boggled. No coherent thought was forming within her as she stared blankly at her mint coloured ceiling. Her core was throbbing and she was panting for air. His soft kisses, as he travelled up her body went unnoticed until she felt him enter her.

Angelus couldn't wait…he was partly apologetic knowing she hasn't fully recovered but her throbbing core was calling out to him. The way her walls felt against his tongue and the heat she exudes made him eager to feel the warmth squeezing, snugly welcoming his very hard shaft.

She gasped at his unexpected entrance but almost immediately, her core accepted the intrusion and her hunger for him returned. This is ridiculous but even she couldn't explain this craziness. It's true she was insatiable but she hasn't even recovered from her high and she is raring to go again? Her body was craving for him again? Her thoughts were cut off when his lips sought hers, his tongue exploring the cavern of her mouth. Her dainty hands settled on his firm behind pushing him deeper inside her. She began moving frantically, grinding her hips against his, enticing him to thrust and fuck her into oblivion. But Angel had other plans.

Holding her hips captive, he distracted her with a kiss which she reciprocates vivaciously. When he broke the kiss, he cupped her face to make her look at him. His eyes silently telling her to trust him, to let him lead this time and her eyes replied; complying with his request. Delighted with her submission, he rewarded her with a gentle kiss and a smile, caressing his fingers over her eyes, her nose, her cheeks and lips.

He leaned down with kisses that trailed his fingers, his lips finding her left eye then her right eye, the tip of her nose, her right cheek and then left before leaning down kissing her tenderly. As he felt her begin to relax, he moved inside her unhurriedly, dawdling his thrusts with his lips moving constantly around her face.

Buffy caressed his broad back feeling slightly uncertain but submits to his tenderness. Today was different from their previous copulations. Angelus was different. He leaned his forehead against her, his hand fingering her golden tresses as he savoured her warmth, and she found herself basking in his affections for her. His thrusts didn't increase cadence but it didn't stop either. He was simply content to be inside her, feeling motley of emotions coming over him. He closed his eyes, feeling the fondness for the woman beneath him intensify and he revelled in the intimacy of the moment.

He gazed in her eyes, his chocolate orbs exhibiting every bit of affection he felt for her and Buffy was once again overwhelmed but this time, she turned away. His gazes of affection were something she had gotten used to but this time, it was different. His eyes were full of lust, passion but it was also kind, tender and if she dared herself to boldly assume, it was a look of love? He looked at her like she was some perfect being but she knew in reality, she was far from it. She looked away,knowing she didn't deserve his warmth and tenderness.

Angelus frowned slightly when she turned away but as always, he was undeterred, nuzzling her neck and continuing his amble thrusts.

"Look at me", he whispered against her skin.

Buffy didn't respond. Angelus lifted his head from her neck and repeated his request but still, Buffy didn't react.

"Baby, look at me", he cupped her chin gently and turned her head. Buffy's senses shook at his endearment for her.

"Please…look at me", he muttered.

Her hazel-green eyes met his chocolate orbs, seeing the desire for her was profound, it was almost tangible. Buffy fought the tears threatening to surface but Angelus made her vulnerable, which she would have tremendously disliked had it been another man. With Angelus however….she couldn't explain…she didn't understand so she willed her mind, telling herself to fight her tears.

Angelus cupped her cheek and in a move she never expected, he thrust deeper, seating himself to her hilt and she gasped, the lust that mellowed amidst the confusion she felt suddenly returned. Betraying her muddled mind, her arms drew him closer making her hitch breathlessly when her sensitive nipples brushed against his hard chest. Her legs that were resting on his hips wrapped themselves around his waist, tightening their hold on him. For long moments he stilled, wanting to relish in her warmth, allowing her to accustom to his girth. His eyes never left her, his thumb caressing her lips every now and then, thinking not for the first time how beautiful she was. He gave her a gentle kiss before thrusting hard, deep and intense, grazing her nub perfectly, locking his gaze with hers, not giving her a chance to turn away. Honestly, she wouldn't even if she wanted to despite her turmoil. There was a part of her that still screamed for her to look away. A woman like her doesn't deserve affections, especially not from a man who's so clearly enamoured. She doesn't do feelings.

But her damn heart was thundering and her damn hand reached up for his cheeks, caressing the masculine features. Her lips were thirsting to feel his and her core was screaming for his shaft. By now, she had lost control, not knowing if her head or her heart was driving. But the moment she leaned up and kissed him, she cursed herself silently for her lack of self control for a moment before deciding, she couldn't fucking care and moaned as she tangled her tongue with his. He rewarded her affections by repaying with vigour groaning against her mouth, thrusting harder and her traitorous womanhood welcomed him, encouraging his movement wanting him deeper and moving faster.

Angelus delivered, understanding the need of her body better than she herself. He became rigorous, plunging into her quickly but concisely hitting her in all the right spots. She clung onto his shoulder as she felt herself teetering. She gasped for air as he drove into her incessantly, feeling his own bliss nearing. He gazed into her eyes and thrusts three more times before coming intensely inside her, his hips jerking uncontrollably and she howled as the orgasmic sensation engulfed her, leaving her quivering in pleasure for long, ferocious moments. Angelus found her mesmerizing, with her head thrown back in ecstasy, her hair in disarray and lips swollen by his kisses. She was such a beautiful creature.

He nuzzled her face, caressing her face gently, aiding her to come back to him. When they calmed, Buffy's thoughts were of words to reflect the feelings she feels after their copulation as of late. Contentment. Whole. Fulfilled. Those words were not familiar…they weren't in her dictionary when it came to sex and yet, here, at this moment, she was feeling every sense of those words.

Angelus rolled off her and laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling in perfect happiness. Moments later, he turned to look at her and found her laying on her side looking at him intently. Hypnotised by her gaze, his body followed hers turning sideways.

Buffy was taken by her emotions, uncertain by this alien feeling coming over her. Uncertainty usually merits her shutting down and closing off the other person but with Angelus, she didn't want to. Unaware of her muddled mind, Angelus caressed her cheek, his thumb running over her eye and lips, giving her his gentle smile. He leaned in kissing her gently…languidly. This kiss wasn't full of lust, it wasn't hunger. This kiss was just is…

He broke the kiss and gazed in her eyes, feeling compelled to relay his affections for her, "I'm in love with you".

The tears she tried to keep began forming in her eyes, moved by his confession. She had to say something…anything to let him know that she was not a person that deserved his love but she was speechless. Forcing herself to articulate, she began, "Angel, I…"

But his fingers on her lips stopped her, "Shhh…You don't need to say it back. I just…I want to let you know what I feel".

Buffy was floored. How could he get her so well? How was he so understanding?

"Let's just get some sleep then, we'll continue our date", he suggested.

Grabbing the sheet strewn haphazardly during their romp, he laid it over them before resuming his position. She turned away and tightly wrapped the sheet around her chest. Angelus leaned close behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, cocooning her in his chest before kissing her forehead and closing his eyes.

Buffy stiffened in his embrace as the tears she worked so hard to fight fell from her eyes. A part of her judged herself for crying; why was she so overly emotional about his love confession? He certainly wasn't the first one to confess his love for her but why was her heart racing? Why didn't she push him away. Kick him out of her apartment? Why is she allowing him to stay? His arm tightened around her waist, momentarily breaking her wandering mind.

Spike woke with a pounding in his head, finding it gruelling to open his eyes. He groaned as he sat up, seeing the unfamiliar room.

A feminine whimper snapped his head to his right seeing sandy-coloured hair greeting him, the woman facing away from him. He tried to recollect the night before and vaguely remembering going to the bar, drinking his sorrows away. There was conversation with the bartender…what was her name?...Aly?...Samy?...

The lady turned to face him and it was the bartender in question. He frowned trying his best to recall…God, what was her name? It was split second later that it came to him. Amy!…her name was Amy. She exhaled before waking up.

"Hi", she smiled.

Spike returned the smile wistfully, clearly muddled by his alcohol-induced actions last night.

"I hope you feel better", she said stroking his arm.

"Uh..yeah", he tensed at her touch.

He quickly scanned for his clothes finding it scattered around the floor of the motel room. Getting out of bed, he began dressing himself.

"I got to go…umm…got stuff to do".

Seeing his hasty exit, she actually half expected it but finding herself disappointed nonetheless.

"Yeah…right…stuff", bitterness lacing her tone.

Spike turned, feeling slightly bad at his aloof tone apologised.

"I didn't mean to sound….it's just…"

Amy put her hand up to stop his torrent of words and apologised, feeling her tone was uncalled for.

"No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have talked like that. I mean, we're not exclusive".

Spike sighed, finished buttoning up his shirt and walked towards her.

"I know last night was a blur but the parts that I remember, the life stories and jokes we shared, it was nice. I haven't laughed in a long time and it felt good so…thank you".

Amy smiled and replied, "You're welcome", sincerely.

"Take care of yourself".

"You too".

With one last glance, he left the room. Amy laid back down on the bed and let her thoughts wander to the amazing sex she had in a while. That man was wasted when they did it but he knew what he was doing. It made her wonder how it would be when he did it sober. Guess she will never know.

Buffy woke up to his lips peppering her neck. She moaned, threading her fingers with his as he pulled her tighter against him.

"Had a good nap?", he whispered against her ears before biting her lobe.

"Mmm..hmm".

He turned her on her back and kissed her lips sensuously.

"Hi", he whispered against her lips.

"Hi", she replied before he delved his tongue into her mouth

He hummed against her lips when they broke apart.

"So, I was thinking of grabbing the hotdog where we had for our first dinner and then a walk along the beach and after that, we…."

"Angel, wait.." Buffy sat up, pulling the sheet tightly around her chest.

Sensing her rather serious tone, Angel followed suit turning to face her, giving his full attention.

"Did you mean what you said earlier?...that you…you know?"

"That I love you?"

She nodded.

"Yes".

"You don't know me…my past, who I was…"

"I don't need to. I know this woman right here…and I'm crazy about her".

"Do you really know me?"

"I know you like sushi…it's almost like a staple for you. You enjoy reading, especially crime novels which really aren't much of a surprise given your career."

"Okay, so you know that because I told you. It's superficial, hardly fall in love worthy", she said unimpressed.

Angel looked at her intently before continuing, "I know you've been on your own since you were 22. Your parents' deaths hurt you more than you'd admit. You have this idea that you shouldn't be seen as weak so you put up a wall, not letting anyone see the real you. I bet not even your friends know the real you. You don't really let anyone in because you're so used to putting up a brave front. You have commitment issues and probably only had one serious relationship, I'm guessing when you were quite young like senior high school or freshmen at college. How am I doing so far?"

Buffy was reeling from his supposed knowledge of her character. It was slightly scary how he was able to figure her out so astutely from what little she divulged about her life in her conversations with him. Heck, she probably wouldn't admit to herself how true his words rang.

"Angel, I'm not this person you think I am. I've done a lot of things that…"

"I don't care about your past and I'll never pry. If you decide you want to tell me then I'm all ears but if you decide not to, then that's where it'll stay…in the past. Buffy, when I say I love you, I don't expect you to say it back. That's not why I said it. All I know is…I like who I am when I'm with you. I don't need to put up a front, I don't need to pretend…I'm just me."

"What if this is all there is? This is all it will be?"

Angel took a moment to study her eyes…they have a way of communicating with him when she herself didn't want to.

"You're afraid to commit…why, I'm not sure but I'll tell you this. I won't hurt you…at least not intentionally. I won't push you...we do things your way at your pace. All I know is that I don't want to lose you", he cupped her face lovingly.

His honest confession propelled her emotions and once again, she was having a tug of war internally. Her instinct was telling her to run far away and that relationships were messy and complicated but the other side…the side only Angelus could evoke, mirror his thoughts. She didn't want to lose him too but her ego and bravado was making it difficult to admit it out loud.

"Angel, I…" she closed her eyes to gather herself. God, being honest was hard work! Angelus, sensing her turmoil cupped her chin, making her look at him.

"Baby, whatever's on your mind, no matter how difficult it is or how uncomfortable it'll be, you can tell me. I've got you".

His loving eyes were always the key to her vulnerability and tonight was no different.

"I'm afraid…but the way you make me feel…it confuses the heck out of me but no one ever makes me feel…" her voice, shaky as she closed her eyes and took a breath before continuing.

"I don't know if I can commit but…"

"But?" he stroked her cheek, gently coaxing her to finish.

She took another deep breath feeling herself fight against her own thoughts and feelings, which if you think about it is ridiculous. She should just be honest and welcome the myriad of emotions she felt for the man but for her, after the wall she had built over the years and closing herself off, admitting this to herself proved to be difficult.

But could she be exclusive with him? Try this relationship that she couldn't fathom and vehemently was against when Spike presented that opportunity to her? What of her other lovers? Will she continue seeing them despite being in a relationship with Angelus? It didn't occur to her that since she and Angelus met, she didn't crave for a willing warm body as much as she used to. Angelus was more than keeping her carnal desire fulfilled.

The thought of being only with that one person was daunting but the thought of not seeing Angelus again, scared her more.

"I really don't know if this will ever be anything but um, I'd like to…try. Try being with you".

"That's good enough for me", he smiled widely.

He leaned down, wanting to seal this new journey with a kiss. She accepts his kiss, finding herself smiling against his lips.

"Can I call you my girlfriend now?" he said cheekily when they broke the kiss.

"Hi, this is my girlfriend, Buffy Summers. Yeah, you see that sexy thing rocking that suit and heels? That's my girl", Angelus continued, pretending to introduce his golden lover to a non-existent audience.

"You're such a dork and you sound ridiculous", she giggled.

Angelus laughed along before rolling her underneath him and kissing her senseless, wanting to celebrate their new status with another passionate romp.