Waiting in front of Bokuto's house, it didn't take long for him to rush out of his house. "I hope I didn't keep you waiting for too long!" Bokuto had a duffel bag over his shoulder. At first he offered me to go inside, but I declined since I was uncomfortable walking in unannounced.
"You have everything you need? Double check because I'm pretty sure I don't have male clothes, but I do have other necessities in my house." I watched Bokuto place his bag on the ground and rummage through everything inside. While he was doing that, I gazed at Kazue's sleeping face. I'm going to have to wake her up once we're home, so she can sleep later tonight.
"Yep, I have everything!"
"Okay! Let's go home. I'm starving…"
After we settled down at my house and changed out of our school uniforms, I loomed over Kazue to wake her up in my bedroom. "Kazue… My princess…" My face was very close to her as I wanted to be the first person she sees. My hand caressed her chubby cheek. "My baby, it's time to wake up!" I spoke in a delicate voice.
"Mmm…" Kazue grumbled in her sleep, turning her body away from me.
I sighed, retracting myself from her. "Okay, I won't bother you. I'll wait until you wake up."
Walking into the living room, I informed Bokuto to keep an ear out if Kazue wakes up or starts crying. "I'm going to start dinner!"
"Wait, Hayashi! Let me help." Bokuto ran up to me. "You're feeding me and letting me stay over, so I want to help cook dinner with you! I'll also wash the dishes." His helpfulness was too much already. I don't want to bombard him with house chores if he's staying here to make me feel safe, but I can never win in an argument with him.
"Alright, if that's what you want then I'll let you do that." I nodded, and we went into the kitchen together.
My kitchen was pretty small. Most of the time when there's two people in the room, we have to squeeze behind each other if we need something in the cabinets. "Sorry the kitchen is small. You're going to have to bear it for a few days." I apologize in advance. I'll try my best not to accidentally touch his body with mine.
Our backs faced each other as we began cooking a few simple dishes. "No, it's okay. Your home is very cozy… Unlike my house, it's just only me." Bokuto's last words were soaked in sadness. It made me even more curious about him. My heart hurts seeing him breaking away from his usual persona.
"What about your parents? Aren't they home?" I didn't mean to pry, but I wanted to know this side of Bokuto. The Bokuto who was talking to me is the one that's kept in the back of the room. He sounded real, letting me into a piece of his life that he may or may not have shared with his close friends.
"No… My parents divorced when I was young, so I ended up living with my dad and my grandma. My dad is so busy working that he's never home. My grandma used to be there for me everyday when I came back from school." I could feel my heart string pulling apart with his forced wall of trying to be okay. He was trying to be strong right in front of me, but I can tell deep down that his family situation still affected him till this day. "She's the one who got me hooked onto volleyball in the first place. Two years ago, she passed away, leaving me in an empty house. My mom is out of the picture because we've never been in contact ever since she left."
I stopped everything that I was doing, and I turned around to face his broad back. Bokuto wasn't cooking food either. His head hung low and his hands gripped the counter tightly. I'm guessing he's probably holding in all of his raging emotions. I felt bad for making him say those things because of my question. I knew what he needed the most right now. "Bokuto," I touched his upper arm, but he wouldn't look at me. "Bokuto, turn around." I gently spoke.
Sniff
Bokuto sniffled quietly in the heavy air. He was trying to hold in his tears. Why did he tell me if it still hurts him?
I breathed out from my nose and wrapped my arms around his built figure. I felt his muscular body through his thin shirt as my head was pressed against his back. "Bokuto, it's okay to cry. I won't judge. We all have some type of family problems… And I'm sorry if my question has caused you to cry." Bokuto embraced my words and subtly cried louder. "Face me and let me hug you," That's all I can do for him: give him comfort.
"Okay…" Bokuto said through his cracked and stuffy voice.
Unwrapping my arms, I let him turn around and face me. Bokuto's bright and gleeful eyes were dulled with tears and hidden emotions. He's letting himself be vulnerable to me. Without any words, I hugged him firmly while my hand rubbed small circles on his back. His arms were loosely wrapped around my petite frame. His built-up emotions flowed out of him like a breaking dam. My shoulder was getting damped from his tears, but I didn't care as long as he was better.
"Bokuto, I don't understand how you put others before yourself like trying to make me happy when you're not happy."
"I don't like thinking about my family issues. I'd rather focus on my own happiness than dwell about my loneliness at home. Maybe that's why I like having people's attention on me because I've never gotten that at home, and that's why I didn't hesitate to sleep over… It's better than being by myself."
"Hug me as long as you want, Bokuto. I'm your friend and you do so much for me. I'm letting you have this comfort that I normally don't give to people." I never have thought that Bokuto, a person who's always happy and smiling has personal issues too. He looked content with life that I didn't question his habits despite him being mysterious at times.
"Thanks, Hayashi. You're the first person I've told this to…" For some reason, my heart thumped loudly in my chest. I couldn't depict the true meaning of my heart's action, but maybe it's because I feel special that I was the first person.
After a few minutes of hugging in silence, he pulled apart from me. "Sorry again for crying on you." Bokuto moved his head away from me in embarrassment.
"Bokuto, I'll always be here for you when you need me. You've shown me true friendship in these years that I've been friendless." My words were genuinely coming out from the bottom of my heart. I really don't know how my life would've been if I hadn't met Bokuto on the first day. I know I wouldn't have gotten out of my dark space and still held a deep grudge against Oikawa.
"Thanks! Now, let's get cooking before we have to sleep."
During our time in the kitchen, we squeezed by each other, switching places to finish up the dishes we made. It was filled with giggles as he witnessed me get scared from popping oil and I retaliated by sprinkling water at him.
In the middle of finishing dinner, I heard Kazue calling for me. "Mama…?"
"I'll finish this, Hayashi. Go tend Kazue." Bokuto ushered me out, and I ran to see my princess.
"Hi Kazue!" She walked out in the hallway, rubbing her eyes as her hair was messy like a bird's nest. "You're finally awake. Dinner is almost ready." I opened my arms for her to run into me.
"Yeah, mama, I wake up. I hungry." Her small frame laid against me, and I wrapped my arms around her, lifting her up. Kazue's head buried into my shoulder, yawning every few seconds.
"Okay baby. I'm going to put you in your seat and bring out the food. Just wait for me and Bo." When I said 'Bo', her head lifted up in a heartbeat.
"Bo?!" Kazue really did remember Bokuto. "Where Bo? Drop me down." This little girl was excited to see Bokuto after a few weeks not seeing him.
"He's in the kitchen," I let her down and she started running to the sounds in the kitchen. Why does she have some attachment to him? They've only played once.
"Bo!" I heard Kazue squealed in excitement from seeing him. I'm pretty sure her arms shot up and her smile brightened up the room.
"Kazue!" Bokuto also returned the same energy to her. "It's been a long time! Are you hungry?"
I listened to their conversation from afar.
"Yeah!"
"Okay, let's go to the dining table! I'm bringing out the food!" I heard Kazue jump in place, then followed Bokuto out like she's one of the little ducklings of a mother duck. She marched behind him and Bokuto chuckled, holding in plates in his hands.
"Sorry for making you do this all by yourself." I grabbed his little follower and put her in a chair.
"No worries! Stop apologizing, Hayashi. If Kazue is calling for you, I'll never stop you from seeing her. I'm not a horrible person!" Bokuto chuckled.
"You're right. You're not a horrible person; you're a good person with a pure heart!" Bokuto's eyes glistened from my compliment. His facial expression never changes whenever I do praise him. "I'll get the plates and utensils,"
After I grabbed the dinerware and distributed food, we all started to eat and chat. I observed Bokuto chatting with Kazue like they were good friends. However, Kazue wasn't eating her food faster than usual because she had her favorite person—beside me—here.
"Kazue, finish your food or else you won't get to play with Bokuto." I lightly warned her, and Kazue nodded.
"Kazue, after we're done playing games, do you want to watch a movie?" Bokuto asked her.
"Yeah!"
I checked the time to see that it was almost seven-thirty at night. "Umm, why don't you guys watch the movie instead of playing games? By the time you end the game, it'll be time for Kazue to sleep." My daughter had a sleeping schedule because if she didn't then I wouldn't be getting any proper sleep either.
Bokuto nodded at the new plan. "Sorry, Kazue. We can play games tomorrow! I'll be here till the end of the week, so we can play any time you want!"
Once dinner was over, I forced Bokuto to play with Kazue since she's been waiting for his arrival for a long time. I did the cleaning from wiping the table, washing the dishes, and sweeping the mess on the ground. Babies are messy eaters.
Drying off my hands from washing the dishes, I stuck my head out and saw that Bokuto and Kazue were watching The Lion King. "I guess I'll join them too." I traveled to the couch and sat right next to Kazue. She was in the middle of me and Bokuto.
"How did you know that this movie is Kazue's favorite?"
"What, it is? I didn't know that. She chose it herself so we went with it."
A smile drew my lips apart as I stared at Kazue watching the TV. "Just wait until we get to the part where Scar drops Mufasa. Kazue's face is priceless all the time. Sometimes you just wonder how many facial expressions can she make within this whole movie? She makes a lot. She's more entertaining than the movie itself. When she's older, I'm going to get her hooked onto better movies like Princess Mononoke. That's my favorite movie of all time! Nothing can replace it."
It wasn't long until Kazue passed out on Bokuto's lap. "Um, Hayashi… Kazue fell asleep on me." Bokuto was very stiff like one movement will cause her to wake up in distress.
"That's surprising. I thought it would take her longer to sleep since she took a nap but I guess not. I'll take her to my room, and I'll quickly get a futon for you to sleep for the night." Taking Kazue's sleeping body in my arms, I made my way to my bedroom. I gently set her down in bed, pulling up the blanket over her. "Goodnight, my princess." I planted a kiss on her forehead and left to get Bokuto's sleeping gear.
In a closet, I took out the extra futon we had with a pillow and blanket. "Here you go!" I set down the items in my arms. "If you need anything just knock on my door… I'm grateful that you wanted to sleep over. This whole day I've been afraid to express my true feelings because I thought it was bothersome. Thank you, Bokuto. I appreciate your kindness." I gave him the biggest and genuine smile he'll ever receive from me.
"No problem, Hayashi. I wouldn't be lying that I was scared about the news too. As a man, I'm supposed to learn how to not fear the world… But I do have many fears. I'm guessing if I wasn't here, I'd be on call with Akaashi right now. I also feel safe to have another person with me. Thanks for letting me stay. Goodnight,"
"Goodnight,"