Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction using characters from Marvel. I do not own any part of Marvel; I am just a fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, this story is for entertainment only, and is not part of the official story line.

CHAPTER 17

Sun warming her face Orla breathed in slowly through her nose then out her mouth as she let the warmth of the sun wash over and through her body. A small breeze wafted by lifting tendrils of loose hair and bringing a faint hint of salt with it. Orla breathed in more deeply as her mind transported her to the sea cliffs even as she sat a few kilometers walk away from it. Her ears tuned in the chatter of voices that grew closer and she slowly began to open her eyes. At first she couldn't see anything as the brightness of the sun whitewashed everything away until her eyes adjusted and she tilted her head down while she raised a hand to shield her eyes.

Her father was stomping around wildly as Darren and Everett held onto his legs while a yipping puppy ran around and occasionally in between his feet. She chuckled lightly and watched as they approached without saying anything.

"We're not disturbing you are we?" Elliot said once they closed the distance to where Orla sat on the bench near the garden.

"No you're fine." Orla breathed out slowly as she looked over the large garden to the rock walls of the field with roaming sheep.

"Are you feeling alright?" He watched her closely as he stood near her end of the bench. Both boys had disconnected themselves from his legs and were running away from the hyper puppy that chased after them.

"I'm...I'm working on reconnecting." Orla's eyes dropped down to her lap.

Elliot nodded understanding what she was trying to say, he had seen his share of battles and lived through the hardships that those battles had taken on his mind. Even though he wasn't a Berserker warrior anymore he knew the special ability that their weapons gave them and he knew the drawbacks. Drawbacks that Orla didn't express on the battlefield but had manifested in another way. Berserker weapons were supposed to enrage any person who touched them but Orla still had maintained her senses while wielding the Berserker staff.

"Is there anything I can do?" He asked as he watched the puppy couldn't decide who to lick and constantly turned to both boys.

Orla chuckled lightly, "You're doing enough by distracting the boys so I can put my head back together in quiet."

Elliot didn't laugh at her dark humor but patted her shoulder softly as they both turned their gazes to the twins and their new puppy. He turned his thoughts to the past week since he and countless other millions of people had returned from their previous dusted selfs. Even though the Shield headquarters in upstate New York had been destroyed the agency still was able to function and was working with multiple governments to sort out the mess of the returning people. Elliot had immediately looked into where Orla was and tracked her down. He was only minorly surprised to learn that she was near the settlement of Asgardian refugees. What he had been most surprised by was how well Orla had managed an entire farm by herself while raising twin boys.

Clearing his throat slightly Elliot squeezed Orla's shoulder gently, "You've done a wonderful job."

Orla fought to keep her head straight even though she wanted to curl up inside of herself, "It wasn't good enough, I couldn't save them all."

Immediately Elliot knew that they were speaking of different topics and knew that the battle was weighing heavy on his daughter's mind. Since he had arrived a few days ago he and Orla had spent many hours speaking of past six years and recent events that had occurred.

Sinking to the bench beside her Elliot looked over the greenery overflowing around them, "That is war, you can't lose yourself over the what if's and maybe's. You can't give yourself away completely, you have to save a piece of yourself for you...for you and your children."

"I couldn't even try!" Orla's tone was sharp and hard. Darren glanced up from where they were a few paces away at hearing his mother's sharp tone.

Elliot waved dismissively at his grandson until he turned back to the wiggling puppy in between him and his brother. "I know but I agree with Dr. Strange. You can't bring someone back from the dead, that is not your power."

"I could have saved him." The failure was eating Orla alive on the inside, this was the true cause of the battle shock and not the actual battle or the side effects of lingering rage from the Berserker staff.

"From my reckoning you were already too late, he had already passed away before you got to him."

Orla jumped to her feet, "I know that but why do I still feel this...this rage burning inside me from the failure!"

Elliot sighed loudly as he pondered what to say to his distraught daughter until his eyes jumped to a figure standing a few feet behind Orla's heavily breathing frame. He viewed the newcomer with an understanding look as they waited quietly behind the small family group.

Standing Elliot clasped his daughter's shoulder as he passed her, "Then maybe you should talk to someone who understands better." He nodded to Thor as he turned and headed towards his grandsons, "Maybe you two should take a walk so you can talk without prying ears."

Orla turned as her father left her side and she froze in place at seeing Thor waiting quietly behind her a few feet. Their eyes met before Thor's eyes moved to follow the two mini look-alikes that were staring back at him.

A silence fell between the two as they faced each other before Thor spoke, "Would you like to take a walk with me?"

Orla jumped at the suggestion but nodded quickly as she felt her father eyeing her from his spot in the garden with the boys, "Sure."

"Take your time." Elliot called out to them as Orla set off with surprising speed and Thor nodded briefly to him before he followed after Orla.

Orla left the confines of the garden quickly and Thor followed her in silence until they started on a small dirt path cut into the grass. "What are you doing here?" Her tone was sharper than she intended but her patience was running thin as she still felt anger rolling around in her body.

Thor coughed lightly as he kept pace a few steps behind her, "I came to see...to see how you were doing after the battle. Are your injuries healing properly?"

"Cut the bullshit Thor, why are really here?" Orla spun off the path to face him. Even though she stood on the incline of the hill he still stood taller than her and she had to raise her head to glare at him.

Slightly flustered by her gruffness Thor sighed softly, "I came to see you, honest. I thought we could talk about some things."

"Why?"

Thor stared down at the small angry and feisty woman before him. This was a whole new side of her that he had never seen but then again he had been pretty disconnected with the world for the past five years. He recognized her attitude as someone he was in the past and knew what she was feeling. If what he heard her say and he assumed from it that she thought of herself as a failure from the incident at the Battle of Earth.

"Thor, why are you here?" Orla snapped when he didn't respond.

Thor looked down at her and resisted the urge to reach out to her, "During the battle you came to me and I realized that there are some things we need to talk about."

"Like what?"

Thor sighed heavily, "Like the fact that there are two mini me's running around." He stared down at her, his gaze soft. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Orla spun away from him, not able to stand the soft look in his eyes. "Like you would have listened." She started to march up the hill and Thor followed closely behind her.

"No I wouldn't have but I am now." Quickly catching up to her they crested the hill and spread out before them were rolling waves of tall green grass as far as the eye could see until it blended with the sky. Thor reached out and took her hand to stop her angry march away from him. "Orla, talk to me."

Orla was pulled to a stop by the surprising gentle pull on her hand, but behind that gentleness was a steel will that clamped down on her. Debating her words Orla grew more flustered at trying to think of what to say to him. Now, after all this time he came to see her, after all this time he wanted to talk. It made Orla's blood boil and in a quick motion she yanked her arm free from him and took off.

Thor sighed again and watched as she bolted away from him, it drug up a memory from their past although their roles were now reversed from the current. Now it was his turn to ask the questions, but first he had to catch her.

Orla thought she had given him the slip but she was wrong and regretted her wishful thinking as she heard his footsteps behind her. Thor was within arms reach of her and she panicked, spinning on her ankle she turned ninety degrees to the side and took off that way. Thor lost a few steps but he quickly made the turn as Orla bolted away from him and he followed close behind her as she ran from him.

The anger and adrenaline were boiling in her body giving her an edge but it also manifested itself in her eyes as tears began to pour out of her eyes. Because of the tears and her fast pace she didn't see the looming cliff edge she was nearing until she was running over it and into the clear sky. Panic filled her as she realized her mistake before a steel arm latched around her waist and yanked her backwards. Arms encircled her and pulled into a protected cavity as her face slammed down into Thor's chest as he landed on his back after snatching her out of her midair run.

She didn't immediately scramble off of him and Thor released one arm from around her to rub between his eyes as he took a moment to breathe after the crazy stunt she just pulled. That was when he noticed her sobbing into his chest, both of her fists had bunched into his shirt and brown cardigan, and she was shivering quite violently. Thor dropped his head back down into the grass as he listened to her sob and he felt the rage in her body dissipate. He knew that rage well, it had controlled his life for the past five years, blinding him from everything. It had taken root deep within him so much so that he couldn't even function on a daily basis. Orla was still in the beginning stages of that rage when it was its most volatile.

Thor began to rub her back to comfort her and her sobs began to quiet down even though the front of his shirt where her face was soaking wet. He stared up at the blue sky and the plethora of clouds as they floated by and marked the passage of time. Eventually Orla shimmed off of Thor's chest but remained by his side as she also turned her face upward to watch the sky as they left the silence between them until Thor spoke.

"You doing okay?"

Orla hesitated for a small moment before nodding, "I guess."

"Tell me."

Orla hesitated again before she let her honest thoughts out. "I'm so confused. Why does it bother me so much? Why do I feel like I failed?"

Thor felt the stab in his heart as he knew what she was referring to, "Because you are a good person, you care about people, and you hurt when they hurt." He chuckled at the irony of his words before continuing, "This time you couldn't have saved him, he was already gone when you got there and you are letting it eat you up inside."

Orla stiffened at his words as she felt anger start to boil inside her once again.

"You are letting that one action, or mistake as you see it, control your life and it is going to ruin it." Thor rolled onto his side to look at her and saw the anger in her eyes. Reaching out he guided her chin until she was looking at him. "Don't be like me and let it rule you, let it go."

A little bit of anger unfurled in her as she saw the truth in his eyes as he stared down at her. She saw his pain and regret hidden in there but also that he was learning to accept his failure. Her eyes fluttered closed as she took a deep breath and felt some more of the anger she felt at herself melt away.

Thor felt some of the tension melt away from her as she breathed in a deep breath. His hand left her chin to cup her cheek and she leaned into his palm. Her eyes fluttered open as she worked on clearing the remaining tears from her eyes but Thor was still just as drawn in by her blinking as at this close he could see the drops on her eyelashes. She looked up at him as he guided her face closer to his but at the last second she glanced down and he settled for placing a soft kiss against her forehead.

Orla didn't move as she looked down at their bodies through his long beard as they lay beside each other. She had to squeeze her eyes shut to keep more tears from starting as all her hopes from the past five years came to fruition. She had been waiting for Thor to forgive himself and start being himself again and now it was. She felt Thor pull away slightly but he still remained close and she looked up at him.

"What?" He didn't know what to make of her inquisitive face.

"You've changed," Orla stated plainly and rolled back onto her back.

"Yeah too many beers," he joked as he joined her on his back next to her side and patted his belly.

"I don't mind that, you should see the stretch marks I got from the boys." She chuckled as she rubbed a hand up her abdomen and hidden mom pooch. "I meant that you've grown...matured." She floundered for the right word and Thor chuckled lightly beside her.

"Oh," he paused as he turned to look at her upturned face before admitting the truth, "I had to forgive myself too. It just took-."

"Took a raccoon and a Hulk to get you out of your house-."

"No, don't interrupt," Thor swatted her playfully before he turned serious again. "My mom said 'Everyone fails at who they are supposed to be, the measure of a person, of a hero is how well they succeed at being who they are.'"

"When did she say that?"

Thor hesitated as he turned back to the sky and tucked an air underneath his head for support, "Well...actually I went back in time and talked to her."

Orla sat straight up, "What?" She asked incredulously.

Thor patted her back as she turned to look at him, "I know, it's weird but it's how we got the Stones again to fix The Snap." At Orla's blank look he told her about the stones and how it was the one in a fourteen million chance to fix everything and bring everyone back. After he was done explaining they were quiet as Orla processed the information he had told her.

Orla was leaned up against her knees as she sat facing the cliff, Thor's hand against the small of her back. "I'm glad that you were able to see your mom one last time, she was always very wise." Resting her head on her folded arms she turned her head and looked back at Thor next to her.

He raised an eyebrow at her contemplative face yet again.

"I'm also glad you were able to bring everyone back and keep those who have come since." Her mind was on their boys but she still felt anger at the loss of Tony Stark. "Although I am glad how it turned out I am ashamed that I couldn't-."

"Stop." Thor sat up and pulled her into his arms in one quick motion. "Stop, you can't keep thinking that you failed."

"I know but it's going to take some time." Orla sighed and dropped her head against Thor's collar bone. Her thoughts moved from the battle to the man she sat with and his reason for coming popped up in her mind. "You said that you wanted to talk about some things, what did you want to talk about?"

Thor pondered over the abruptness of her question before answering, "When you healed me...I realized that my perception of you, of our time, of my memories were wrong. I was so lost in my failure that the anger I had controlled me." Thor admitted, he plunged ahead not wanting to dwell too much on his past rage. "After the first snap and you...I didn't even try. I…"

Orla pulled away and looked up at Thor as he struggled to explain the difficult past between them along with his past self. Raising a hand she cupped his cheek and cooed softly, "Shhhh, I know."

"No, I never even gave you a chance. I was so swept up in my hate that I hurt you so much." He pulled her hand from his face but continued to hold it in his own hand in his lap. "Something happened between us, it felt like a dream, a dream where the only thing was you and it blocked everything out."

Orla nodded, understanding what he was saying as she thought back onto their time together five years ago.

Thor continued, "I felt like you tricked me and it just added in with the rest of my anger. I directed it at you and everybody else that tried to help me. I was so angry with myself that I lost myself in it and I was fine with that…" Thor's voice broke on the last few words.

Orla remained still as she waited for him to continue but he didn't as he struggled to contain the rush of emotions that overtook him in admitting his darkest thoughts. She turned her attention to their clasped hands and then the dream-like state that had taken over both her and Thor for two months. Nothing like that had ever happened to her since then and the thought that maybe it had happened because it was Thor. But as he gripped her hand she didn't feel any haze descending over her brain unlike the first time he had held her. Orla turned to her memories and the who she was then and the who she was now were very different. Even though she was going through a mentally challenging time now it was nothing compared to the loss that Orla had felt at the time after losing Odin, the snap, and all her connection to her heritage. Coming to the conclusion that she was the one, or rather her powers, had been the cause of the haze that controlled them Orla knew she was responsible.

"Thor," Orla cleared her throat lightly to get his attention. "I think whatever happened between me and you was my fault. I don't know how but I think somehow my powers caused it." She wanted to explain but she didn't know how because she didn't know how it had happened. Slowly she began to pull her hand from his and returned her hand to her own lap.

Thor watched as she pulled away from him, physically and mentally. "How so?"

Orla cringed slightly, "I was so happy that I wasn't alone anymore. I had lost everything before the snap, all my family had already passed before I met Odin but he taught me more about my heritage and my birthright. I think when you came to the farm my powers mutated to keep you with me…" Her words dwindled off but she didn't know if anything she said just made sense to him.

Thor didn't say anything as he thought about it but he also thought about when she found him on the battlefield and touched him there. Once he knew it was her on the battlefield he had been afraid that what had happened between them would happen again but it hadn't. He had only felt the warmth of her hand on his face and the heat in his body as she healed him, nothing else. Something about it piqued his interest.

"Has it happened again? With anyone else?" Thor asked, genuinely curious but also trying to figure it out.

"No never." Orla stated before a blush started to spread across her face. "I've never...with anyone else."

"No one?" Thor was surprised, he thought that a pretty young woman would have all sorts of suitors especially after the snap.

Orla chuckled roughly, "Yep. There were some in the village that wanted to marry me off because I was a single woman living alone on a farm that I clearly couldn't manage by myself. I mean, really, is this the dark ages?" Orla laughed aloud at the memory before she sobered up quickly to finish her walk down memory lane. "Oh yeah and I was also pregnant."

Thor had been chuckling with her before she mentioned her pregnancy, "I'm sorry."

"For what? You gave me two glorious little boys."

"For hurting you so much, for not being there, for-." Thor reached for her hand but she pulled away from him.

"No, I'm sorry. I don't want it to happen again."

Thor paused a moment before reaching for her again and grabbing her hand. "I don't think it will. When you healed me on the battlefield did you feel anything like it?"

"Just the drain," Orla watched as he clasped her hand between both of his large ones.

"And earlier did you feel anything?"

Orla shook her head slowly.

"How about now?" Thor leaned forward as he pulled Orla forward to him and before she tilt her head like she had done before, angled his mouth over hers.

Only freezing momentarily Orla lost herself in the kiss with Thor before he pulled away from her. Her eyes were still closed but she felt his hand slide against her cheek.

"Anything?" His voice was a little husky and she blinked her eyes open to look up at him.

Orla smiled gently, "Yes, but not the haze."

"Good," Was Thor's only word before he bent down and she tilted back up to him and their lips met again. There was no haze that started to settle in them as it had before but they both could feel the long remembered passion start to return as light kisses were shared between them. But they were not as young and as impulsive as they once had been. After their reconnection with one another there was still much to discuss between the two and they pulled away from their embrace of each other.

Thor leaned his forehead down upon Orla's as he caught his breath and fought to control the raging emotions within him.

A sneeze caught Orla off guard as a breeze was suddenly swept up from the sea and cliffs in front of them.

"Are you cold?" Thor held Orla's face in between his hands as he scrutinized her.

"A little," Orla admitted as she felt the wind on her bare arms once again and she fought to control a shiver but it still managed to race down her arms.

Thor felt her withhold the shiver, "Come here, this will be warmer." He turned her around and placed her in his lap before his arms wound around her torso.

Orla sat still for a small while before she felt herself relaxing at the familiar and gentle pressure from Thor's body surrounding her. Her eyes stared out over the cliff's edge and out to the brilliantly blended sea and sky.

Thor's voice interrupted the comfortable silence, "Will you tell me about our boys?"

Orla startled at first but once she recovered she began to tell him all about Everett and Darren; about how they were born, how she managed to raise them, how different but also how alike they were. She told him about the life she had been living since the snap and the how and why she was trained in the ways of the old Asgardian Berserker ways. They sat there so long wrapped in each other's arms catching up on the last five years that they didn't notice the passage of time around them.

The midnight sun sat low in the sky by the time they realized the time and finished up their long talk. Thor walked Orla back to her farm where he bid her goodnight with a soft lingering kiss and a promise to meet again soon and as Orla watched him jog away from the farm she knew that their relationship had changed. They had grown over the years and the things that they had experienced had left their marks but together they had helped the other grow past the hard times.

Orla blushed as she wetted her plump just kissed lips and watched as Thor grew smaller and smaller as he made his way back to his home in the village. They had talked about many things but Orla could still feel that he was holding something back from her. Letting it sit for now Orla knew that she would have a chance to see and talk with Thor again.

A/N: I was going to make this the last chapter but as I sat down to write it it took on a life of its own and I went with it, after all not everything is going to go back to "normal" immediately after the battle and return of millions of people. Originally I was going to include a steamy scene at the cliffs but as I read what it had morphed into it didn't feel right so that got scrapped. Anyways I hope you enjoyed this chapter.