Hey guys, please don't hate me! Sorry that this chapter didn't get out sooner! My computer got a bug or something so I had to get it fixed real quick. And I was having a bit of writer's block after that. Anyway, here it is! Didja get that other fandom reference in my title. *me nervous laughs*
Disclaimer: *rolls eyes* Again, people. I am not a guy, so do I really have to explain?
Chapter 8: The Day I Was On A High, and The Day I Siriusly Messed Up
Travis's POV
It's been three days since the surgery on my arm, and I had the surgery for my distal knee fracture thingy yesterday. Katie has been in to see me a few times, and my mom has been out trying to get a job. I still don't remember exactly what happened, but me almost dying must have woken her up in a sense. James hasn't come in yet, but we facetimed yesterday before my surgery. He's been hanging out with Leah a lot. Like a lot a lot. Connor comes after school, mostly to bring my homework and hang out.
One good thing that came from my mom being in her mental state was that Connor and I grew closer together, and now we have a pretty good brothership. Like we can tell each other pretty anything and everything. Well, not everything, obviously, but now I can tell there's something he's hiding. I'll have to ask him about that after Katie leaves today. She plays her turn on the board game we set up on my hospital bed.
"Your turn Travis." I don't answer, I just stare. I've been trying to remember what happened the night I got hit. All I've gotten is feelings. Happy feelings and sad feelings when I try and remember. I'm not going to try and describe them, just leave it at that.
"Traaaaviiisss." Katie waves her hand in front of my face, and I blink away the 'memories'.
"Sorry Katie, I was zoned out."
"Obviously," she whispers. I shoot her a glare and she smirks.
"Well, miss sarcastic. While you were being miss sarcastic, I played my turn so get going on yours!" Katie puts her hands up in defence, then plays her turn. It's this board game called Trouble, where you pop the little bubble to see how many moves you get. And if you land on another person's player, you send them back to their home. You have four players, and it's actually a really fun game. Right now Katie is in the lead, she has three players out of home and I only have two. So she is closer to getting her players back home.
"Your turn again Travis." I count the spaces, I popped a five.
"Oooooohhh Katie you're going back home!" I yell. I move my player that is five spaces behind hers, and I send it back home.
"Ugh, Travis! We've been playing this game for about half an hour and we keep going back and forth. Can we be done now?" I'm winning now! She wants to end just as I'm winning, that sore loser.
"Fine," I give in. "But only if you go and get my notebook and pencil from the table over there, while I put the game away."
"Kay." I start putting the pieces back in the box and put the board in. I look up to see Katie flipping through my drawing notebook. I feel panic slice through me and my eyes widen.
"Katie, can I have my notebook please?" I try to say as calmly as possible, except it comes out more like a breathless hyena. Katie gives me a weird look and keeps flipping through the notebook.
"Nah, I think I'm gonna keep looking." I feel heat rise to my face and I fight the urge to jump out of the bed and rip the notebook out of her hands.
"Katie, please-"
"So when were you going to tell me you were drawing such amazing drawings of me?" My eyes widen again.
"I-I- uh, I was going to-but I-"
"But you wanted to keep them secret because you were embarrassed that I was your inspiration? These are amazing! You should, could, draw things so much more beautiful than I am. Like, you're an amazing artist Travis!" I open and close my mouth, but nothing comes out. She smirks and hands me the notebook.
"I don't think that's possible Katie." I try to put meaning into it, but she takes it as me being not confident enough in my drawings.
"No really, Travis."
"No, I don't think you got what I meant." I say quietly. She keeps speaking and misses my mumble.
"These are amazing. You should draw it again, maybe me reading my book or something." she says quietly. I notice a slight blush on her cheeks. Maybe that makes her uncomfortable.
"If it makes you feel uneasy Katie, I won't, but if you really want me to, I will." I don't know about her, but it makes me feel a little anxious to draw her here. Like not from memory, but looking at the details of her face here.
"It's okay, I want to see you work in action. Besides, I'm close to a good part in my book." Then she gets my pencils and gives them to me. Our hands brush, and I can feel my face heat up. But it's definitely not as flushed as hers. I smile a little as I watch her settle in the chair next to my bed, and open her book.
I watch her for a moment more before I open my notebook. I start with the tilt of her head over the book, and work my way over her face. I look up at her frequently to make sure I get everything just right. Her slightly rounded cheekbones, her pert nose, her almond shaped eyes. Her full lips. I try not to let my gaze stay in one place for long, but my eyes keep coming back to her lips. I pull them away by drawing shoulders, and her arms, and the book, and then the chair. By the end of the hour, the drawing is done with light shading and shadows.
I look up when I'm finished to see that she still hasn't looked up from the book at all. I want to show her the drawing but I also don't want to interrupt her book. So instead, I watch. I watch the way the corner of her mouth twitches up in a smile, and how it goes back. How her forehead wrinkles in focus and her eyebrows raise. About five minutes later, she looks up.
"Oh, you're finished. Can I see it?" she asks. I see a slight blush on her cheeks and that causes me to blush. Dang it Travis! Why do you have to be blushy today?!
"One sec, I forgot the finishing touch." Then I sign my name at the bottom of the page, and put the date on the back. Then I hand it to her.
Her eyes widen and her eyebrows get higher.
"Wow, Travis. This is really good. Really. I didn't know I could look so nice when reading a book." she laughs nervously, a light smile on her face.
"You look nice all the time Katie." She blushes again, but smiles rather than looks embarrassed. I smile back. I just can't help it. She's so beautiful, and kind, most of the time, and smart, and funny. I really wish I knew what happened that night when I was at her house!
"Well, I should probably go Travis." I can hear how she says it reluctantly, and it makes me feel a bit better about her leaving. Cause she really doesn't want to. I don't want her to either. Then she gets up and starts packing her things up.
"Thanks for coming today Katie. It's been really boring here all alone."
"No problem. I had fun." She smiles and my heart leaps. "But look on the bright side," she stuffs her book and the game in her backpack. "You get to leave in a few days. And walk on crutches."
"Yeah, I just feel like it won't be the same, ya know?" She sets her backpack on the chair and picks up my drawing to hand it back.
"Yeah, I get that. Here's the drawing." She puts it in my hand but I hand it out to her.
"No, it's yours. I have others in the notebook." I smile again, because even though that one is way better than the ones in the notebook, I can see the real thing tomorrow after school.
"Okay, thank you." She looks down after tucking the drawing into her book. "Well, I should go now. I'll see you tomorrow Travis." She puts on her backpack and walks to the door.
"Bye Katie." I watch her hesitate at the door, her hand hovering over the handle. Then she walks back over to me and leans down and gives me a hug. I wrap my arms around her shoulders and give a light squeeze back. She walks back to the door and turns around again.
"Bye Travis." She gives a slight wave, then walks out. I can't help but feel sad at her leaving, but I know she'll be back tomorrow. And the hug just made the rest of the day bearable without her.
"C'mon Connor, I can tell that something is on your mind, bro. Tell me! You know I hate just sitting around here, so let me know what's going on? Is it Miranda?" I ask as Connor and I talk over dinner. He brought mom's homemade mac and cheese for dinner, and I just about cried when I opened the container. I haven't had this in years, and I recognized it just by the delicious, nostalgic aroma. I'm pretty sure I inhaled it. Connor hands me a second container, like mom knew I would want seconds. I start inhaling again, but I pause at Connor's next words.
"No, it's not Miranda. Travis, it's about that night." I freeze, spoon halfway to my mouth. That night. Would Katie have told him what happened at her house? Were they that close as well? I drop the spoon back in the tupperware and stare at him.
"Well, are you gonna tell me what happened? I know you've heard me wish that I could remember what happened that night." He pulls out his phone. They got it on video?! I didn't know the Gardners had security cameras in their house.
"No, they don't. This was at the hospital after your arm surgery." Connor says. I deflate a bit and start eating again.
"I think you might want to pay attention to this Travis. Mom took this when we were all allowed in to see you." I look up at his phone screen and see Katie and Miranda and Connor on the edge of the screen, or my hospital room. And me in the center. I look a little deranged, a wild look in my eyes. Oh no, what did I do? I was on anesthetics then! I must have done something crazy.
I watch myself point to my arm like a deranged idiot and call it a banana. I smack my forehead with my good hand in embarrassment, but I keep watching. Then I hear this.
"Why iss my arm a banana! I don't want a banana arm, now I can't draw pretty picturesss of Katie during classss anymore!"
Then I see myself get emotional. I scrunch my face in embarrassment and pinch my nose. That's how she knew about the notebook.
"Katie'ss sso pretty, and my drawings, they make me feel happy when I'm not with her. I don't want Katie to be gone!"
Oh my gosh, this can't be happening. This is so cringy! And I look like I'm gonna cry! I hear my mom awwing in the background, and Connor and Miranda crack smirks while Katie just looks embarrassed. I watch as I ask Katie to sit on the bed, then ask her to kiss my cast. I asked like a baby. There is no way in any world that this couldn't be my most embarrassing moment ever. Then she actually kisses my cast, and I feel my face heat up, then my ears and neck. Connor glances over at me and my red face, and laughs.
"That's not even the goofiest part!"
"Oh no!" I moan as I cover my face with my hands. Then I peek through my fingers to see what I did next.
"Katie, now tell me you love me, so I can tell you I love you too."
"Katie, do you not love me?"
"Cause I love you very much Katie."
"Now kiss me Katie, cause I love you and you love me."
I see that video Katie's face gets redder and redder, and then I see myself lean in and try to kiss video-Katie. In the video, her eyes are max widening capacity, and right now, so are mine. The video stops and I let my face fall in my hands.
"Oh my goodness, did I really do that? This is so embarrassing!" I lay back on the pillows and throw an arm over my head dramatically. How can Katie stand to hang out with me now!?1?! This must be why she was so blushy the last few days. It's quiet for a few moments before Connor says anything.
"You love her, really, don't you?" Connor asks quietly. I look up and blush again, though I don't think it's possible to see it through my already red face.
"Yeah, I can see you do, for once. I feel like I'm always the oblivious one, but this time I'm not. I just want you to be careful, kay Travis? I don't think Katie likes you like that." Wait what? "And I just don't want you to get hurt." He lets that sink in for a while. She doesn't like me like that? Questions run through my head. What happened that night at her house? That would probably let me know how she is feeling. Did that happy feeling come first, or last?
"You should probably tell her, you know, about that night. Just let her know your real feelings, or ignore them so you don't ruin your friendship." I give him an incredulous look and he raised his hands in defence.
"I'm just trying to help Travis. I don't want you to get hurt."
"I know Connor, but that just doesn't sound right? I don't know, relationships are so confusing!" I throw my arm back over my head again and just lay there.
"I know, but that's what sounds right to me. Well, I'm gonna go home now. I'll see you tomorrow."
What the heck just happened?
Katie came again the next afternoon. And the next, and the next, but I still couldn't find it in myself to apologize for the weirdness of Friday night. Two reasons:
It will be really embarrassing for me and a little for Katie.
I still can't decide if I want to ignore it or not.
See? It's a hard choice. I've been contemplating what to say all morning, and practising using my new crutches. It's been a bit hard because I've been pretty much bed-ridden for a week, but since using the bathroom was not an experience I would like to repeat, I'm okay with the struggle.
When Katie comes today, should I tell her my feelings, or should I not? Should I just say sorry for making her uncomfortable that night, and I didn't mean what I said? But I do mean what I said! I just wasn't ready for it to come out yet! Ugh, this is so confusing!
"Hey Travis, can I come in?" I hear Katie say softly from the other side of the door.
"Yeah, c'mon in." Should I tell her now or should I tell her later? Well I wanna get it over with, so now sounds better. I wait for her to sit in the chair next to my bed before I take a deep breath.
"Hey Travis, I-"
"Katie I'm sorry." I blurt out. Her eyebrows twist up in confusion, and it's all I can do to not reach out and smooth them out.
"What do you mean, sorry?" she asks suspiciously,
"I'm sorry for what I said the other night, after my first surgery. For making you uncomfortable." It's a few moments before realization dawns on her face, and a slight blush follows.
"It's alright Travis, I know you were on anesthetics and everything, it's understandable." she says softly.
"No, you don't get it. The thing is, well, I didn't really mean- I didn't know why or how, what I'm trying to say is…" I take a deep breath. I really hope she doesn't take this the wrong way or anything.
"What you're trying to say is that you didn't mean it?" she asks quietly. No, not that's not what I was trying to say! But all I can do is nod, my brain not being able to trust my heart with my words about to come out of my mouth. My brain tells me no, my heart tells me yes. And for once, I think I do the right thing, I listen to my brain. I think about what Connor said. If that's true, there's no way I can confess my love for her! That would make things so awkward, I don't want that to happen! Gosh, I really hope she doesn't take this the wrong way, I still want to be friends. Heck, I want to be more than friends already, but what if she doesn't?
"So everything that happened was kind of just in the moment that night?" she asks quietly again. I nod again. She looks down, her face still showing no emotion whatsoever. "Okay." She swallows, and my breath catches, hoping that I did the right thing. "Well, what I was going to say before you so rudely interrupted me, is that I can't stay for long today. " She laughs nervously for a few seconds. There's an odd emotion in her eyes that I can't read, and it's making me uncomfortable that I can't understand it. "I have some stuff to do and I just wanted to come and say hi, so you at least get some of the attention you crave so badly." I laugh, but then I stop myself. She's usually sarcastic, but this almost sounds not sarcastic. It sounds like she means it, in a kind of rude way. What did I do wrong? Did I say the wrong thing?
We sit there awkwardly for a little bit, then she coughs a bit.
"Are you all right, Katie?" She looks up and catches my eyes with hers, and then immediately looks back down. Her usually bright eyes are much dimmer than usual. I frown in concentration.
"Not really." She mumbles as she looks over her shoulder. I frown a little deeper at that.
"I think I'm getting a cold, so I guess I should go now. Don't want you to get sick, ya know?" She says absently, like her mind is somewhere over the rainbow. Or stormcloud, as it seems.
"Yeah, well, thanks for stopping by, you know? It makes a guy feel better. Especially since I've been practicing with those stinkin crutches all morning, it's weird." I shake my head and laugh a little, trying to lighten the heavy mood. She manages a light smirk, but it doesn't reach her eyes.
"Well, I'll see you later then." She gets her keys out and heads to the door.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" I ask in what I hope is a joking manner. She looks at me with a weird, confused expression. It's really cute, even though she looks… unhappy.
"No, I don't think so." She says, still giving me the odd expression. I hold my arms out for a hug with a hopeful smile, and she frowns slightly. That hopeful smile gets thrown in the trash.
"Not today, Travis." she says quietly. "Remember, I don't wanna get you sick, if I have something."
"Okay. Well, I'll see you later then Katie. Tomorrow?"
"Yeah, maybe. Bye Travis." Then she leaves me there, without the jaw-dropping smile she had yesterday, and an uneasy feeling settles in my stomach. Honestly, you could say my heart too.
Maybe Connor was right, but then why was she so sad? Ahh, that's the emotion I was looking for. Her eyes were filled with it. Wait a sec. She said that night, an in the moment thing. My eyes widen. She seemed sad, I must have done something either good or bad, because she was happy yesterday and upset today. Oh no. I screwed up. Something must have happened that night, a conversation or an action, I can't figure out, but something happened, and I can't, frickin remember! And then today. What if she actually likes me!? And then I pretty much just told her I liked her as a friend! What the freak did I just do?
Ayyy, I finally finished it! So I hope you guys liked this chapter, and again, sorry for the long wait. I will try to have the next one up sooner, I'm starting it tonight! Thank you so much for reading. Peace out! *mic drop* ~kalisfandomstories