Cons and Pros
(June 21, 2018)
8-Meet the Fans!
Dipper saw a presentation on the new SF and fantasy shows for the coming network and cable season. He squeezed in—it was a huge theater, the same one where Granite Rapids would premiere. The screen showed about thirty-five minutes of trailers and sneak scenes from new shows, but for him the high point was the cold opening for a new cartoon series.
The Ditzney logo appeared, and then faded into a summer scene. A voice-over cut in on a family picnic, Dad at the grill, Mom and kids at a wooden table in a bucolic scene:
"Summer! No school! A time to kick back, relax, and take it easy! Cookouts! Outdoor games! Swimming! Nonstop fun! Everyone looks forward to summer!"
Man, Dipper thought, wish I'd sounded that mature when I was twelve!
Crash! A golf cart with a driver and a passenger burst through a billboard, jounced from a cliff to a forest trail, and behind it lumbered a gigantic form seen only in silhouette. The camera caught the two kids, a boy driver and a girl passenger, in the lurching golf cart when the voice-over continued:
"Unless you're me. My name is Tripper. The girl sitting beside me and trying not to puke is my twin sister, Alexia.
"You're probably wondering why we're racing through the woods in a golf cart, fleeing from an unimaginable horror. Rest assured, there is a simple explanation."
A cheer went up. Dipper found himself grinning like an idiot. Most of the words were his words, edited a bit to conform to the visual medium of the cartoon. The Tripper and Alexia on screen were reasonable interpretations of the characters on the book jackets, and when the titles began, the theme song, a pulsing instrumental on piano, flute pennywhistle, ocarina, and clarinet—and another he couldn't identify, plus rhythmic handclaps as the percussion—accompanied a montage.
In quick shots: The Mystery Manor, no mansion but a ramshackle house clearly based on photos of the Shack Dipper had sent to his publisher, with Grandy Manny standing in front, wearing his fez and a grin. Snippets of the twins getting off the Rapid Rodent bus, Alexia in one of her trademark rainbow sweaters and Tripper—Dipper shivered—wearing a brown trucker's hat, just like in his book.
The montage continued: A tour through the mystery museum. Then character intros. Tripper, exploring a cave and confronting a skull. Alexia, showing off an electric sweater. Manny, fleeing with the cash register shedding bills like autumn leaves. Moose puttering along in a golf cart. Willow, lazing at the counter in the Shack—er, Manor. Then all of them together round a campfire listening as Manny told a ghost story, and then a wonderful mock postcard from Granite Rapids.
And the applause went on, with some voices yelling "More!" They had to pause the video, and one of the guys onstage—a panel of four—picked up a mike and said, "You Granite Rapids fans—the first episode debuts here in this room tomorrow! Be there, but right now, shut your yaps!"
And the cheering rose even louder.
Dipper couldn't stand it. He got up and tiptoed out of the room, leaned on the wall in the corridor, and felt as if he were going to laugh or cry, or both at the same time. Maybe his happiest moment had been when Wendy read the manuscript and really liked the first book—Bride of the Zombie—but this time was overwhelming. He couldn't even go back inside to see the preview of Odder Items, a net show he was eagerly anticipating.
Wendy had texted. Dipper texted back: Need 2 take something to room. Meet outside main entrance?
And she replied, 2 min, dude
He pushed through the crush of people—the hallways were starting to have a funky aroma, like some of the gym dressing rooms Dipper had been in before and after track meets. He passed a teen-kid-sized trio in full prosthetic make-up, costumed people wearing oversized foam-rubber headpieces, representing Pherbius and Finn, with a big-headed, starry-eyed Elisabel. He waved at them. Hey, he was with the same company now!
He rode the escalator, spotted Wendy before he exited the building, and she grabbed his hand. You look super happy, Dip!
—Just saw the opening title and a short scene from the premiere show. It was great, and everyone liked it!
Of course they did, dork. Back to the room?
—I want to put the Frost and Flame book away. It's heavy to carry around!
We're coming back here?
—Yeah. If you don't want to go—
Of course I want to go. I'll, like, feed off your joy! Bwah-ha-ha!
Dipper squeezed her hand. "Let's go, then, and hurry back."
They reached the crosswalk and stopped for a DON'T WALK sign. A blat of engines came from their right, and looking that way, Dipper saw three motorcycles heading their way, slowly—and behind them marched a strangely-dressed crew. At least one of the bikes had a sound system, playing a Japanese tune.
"What now?" Wendy asked, stepping back to let the parade pass by. "What are these guys, space samurai or something?
The three on bikes simultaneously thrust a left fist into the air and shouted, "Hen-ka sudu!" Or so it sounded.
"Yeah!" people in the crowd shouted, returning the fist-thrust.
Holding Wendy's hand, Dipper told her silently—Kamen Runners!
Doesn't help, dude.
—Japanese show, been around for years. I caught up with it when a guy on my high-school track team lent me some DVDs. Uh-oh, Bravo's having trouble.
One of the marchers, younger than most of the others—well, slighter and shorter, since most of the others wore insect-themed armor—was in a white lab jacket. He had some technical device in his right hand, and he seemed to be trying to thrust it into the pocket of the jacket, without success.
"Like this!" Dipper called, dropping Wendy's hand to mime flipping a jacket back with his left while holstering the device with his right hand.
The kid nodded, repeated the action, and succeeded. Some of the others crowded around him, a sound effect blared out, Dipper glimpsed them taking the lab jacket off the boy, and when they moved almost balletically away, he wore armor like them—one must have clapped the helmet on as another deftly removed the jacket.
The helpers called out "Henshin!" and the onlookers applauded.
Taking Wendy's hand again, Dipper thought to her—It's a complex franchise. I liked it, even though I couldn't understand all the backstory. It's had reboots and spinoff series like crazy. But the action's fun to watch, and the Runners are real badasses.
He felt Wendy's amusement. I got a feeling that if you could get decked out like that, you'd be the baddest badass of them all!
—Not as long as you're around, Magic Girl!
They took the side entrance and the shortcut to the express elevators, rode up to their floor, and stashed the book.
Dipper asked, "It's gonna be early, but want to have lunch in one of the hotel restaurants?"
"When do you have to show up for your stint at the table?"
"I told them twelve-thirty. If you want, we can go chow down in the green room. They have a make-your-own-sandwich table, and there's probably going to be veggies and things on the side."
"I'm game for that," Wendy said.
They touched bases by phone with Teek and Mabel, but they were doing fine on their own and had already decided to eat at Burger Bay, a short walk from the Convention Center. "We're in line," Mabel said. "You ought to check this out—they tell us the burgers are really good, and they have fish and chicken burgers, and it's got this great open seating area with a view of the bay, and sometimes gulls come in and try to steal your food! Lunch and a show!"
"We're gonna go with the green room spread," Wendy told her. "Catch you later!"
They checked out the autograph row at the convention—huge lines for some actors in SF series, a couple of writers with smaller—but still sizable—lines. "I guess I'll be here for my official sessions," Dipper said. "I hope I won't be humiliated."
"We'll have Mabes round up customers," Wendy suggested. "You won't be able to handle the crowd then!"
The green room was pretty well packed though it was a bit early for lunch. Wendy found a couple of spaces at a table and held them down while Dipper did the culinary honors—he built them both double-decker club sandwiches with turkey breast, bacon, tomatoes, and crisp romaine lettuce, dressed with mayo and sprinkled with salt and pepper. He scored a couple of bags of potato chips—barbecue for him, salt and vinegar for Wendy—and added a half-dozen sweet, pickled gherkins to the big paper plate. He took it over to Wendy and then went back for drinks, water for him, a cola for Wendy.
"Lots of people here," a fortyish woman at the table said as he handed Wendy her drink and sat down.
"I feel out of place," Dipper said. He sneaked a look at her pro badge and then gasped out, "Corine Wallis! I love your Time Voyagers series!"
"Thanks." She reached over and turned his badge so she could read it. "Stan X. Mason. I don't know what you do."
"He's a writer," Wendy said from Dipper's other side. "YA humorous fantasy."
"Oh, Wendy," Dipper said. "Miss Wallis, this is my wife, Wendy. Wendy, Corine writes those hilarious time-travel books! I must have a dozen!"
"There are fourteen titles," Corine said with a grin. "After you finish eating, go buy the other two! Go on, eat, but in between bites, tell me about your books. I love humor in SF and fantasy."
So Wendy and Dipper alternated in telling her about Granite Rapids. She nodded. "Oh! I've seen the posters around. Congratulations on the TV sale! My agent's been shopping the Time Voyagers around to movie and television people forever without much success. Twice studios took a one-year option on the series, but both times they let it lapse."
"Option?" Wendy asked.
Corine nodded. "A small down payment, locks in the audio/video rights on a work for, usually, one year. For like five thousand dollars, the author agrees that no other studio can get a crack at the book until the first studio either exercises the option and signs a contract to produce the movie or whatever or until the option lapses."
"I don't understand why nobody's made a TV show or movie," Dipper said. "It's a really fun series. My favorite is the sixth one, What Happened to the Dog?"
"What did happen?" Wendy asked.
"Nothing," Corine said. "There's no dog in that book!"
"But there might have been, because the three Voyagers changed history slightly," Dipper said. "I won't say any more. I've got the book, and you have to read it!"
"Let her buy her own copy," Corine said.
Wendy narrowed her eyes in mock suspicion. "You're not by any chance related to a guy named Stanley Pines, are you?"
Dipper reported to the Ditzney Granite Rapids stall at 12:30 and was surprised to discover that they'd set up a sort of booth-within-a-booth with a big MEET THE AUTHOR sign on the back, a table with stacks of his hardcover and paperback books, and a tent-fold sign that identified him as STAN MASON. D.D. said, "Gotta get a photo!"
Mabel and Teek showed up, and Dipper said, "Everybody in for a picture!" They posed and D.D. took several shots (later Mabel selected the one in which Teek was doing the bunny-ears gag over her head as her favorite). People passing by paused to see what was going on—guy in a Ditzney tour jacket taking photos of somebody who must therefore be important—and as soon as the photo shoot ended, Dipper began to sign books.
Ditzney had bought a stack and was handing them out as freebies! Which meant the demand was high. Mabel and Teek went on their way, but Wendy sat next to Dipper and helped out with the books, taking requests from the people who wanted one (one to a customer!) and opening the selected book to the title page for Dipper's "Stan Mason" signature.
Dipper took a few seconds to converse with each fan: "Hey, what's your favorite sport?" he'd ask of an athletic-looking guy.
If the answer was "Soccer" and the guy's name was Joe, he'd personalize the autograph a bit:
To Joe, at ComicsCon—keep scoring those goals!—Stan Mason
He got lots of thanks for that. Then a couple of the Kamen Runners showed up. "We saw what you did!" one of them said. "You a Runner?"
"More of a fan," Dipper said. "Saber, right? That's a super-authentic Driver."
The cosplayer drew his Kaen Seiken sword. "A buddy crafted it for me. Want to try it?"
Grinning, Dipper stood up. "I'd be honored!" He took the weapon, made sure he had room, and said in a dramatic voice, "This isn't the first time I've wielded a Fire Sword!"
He executed the deft sword maneuvers, presented, and said Saber's catch-phrase: "I will decide how this story ends!"
The two cosplayers applauded, Dipper returned the sword, saying "Thank you, Touma!"
Each of the guys took a book—the first one, Bride of the Zombie—and in ten minutes about a dozen other Kamen Runners showed up to ask for books and give him their official blessing as a fellow Runner.
Dipper slightly overstayed his time, then excused himself but told the six people still in line that if they'd pick up their books and follow him, he had to get to a panel, but would sign on the way—or they could come to his next autographing tomorrow on Autograph Row, bringing the books with them.
He and Wendy left, on their way to the YA panel, and nearly got out of the Exhibitors' Hall, when a couple of Pony Girls, one deep purple, the other one the girl who had, um, glomped him—glomped him again. "EEEEE!" the purple one squeaked. "Picture, picture, picture!"
A third girl, not in costume, raised her phone, and the girls hugged Dipper, one on each side, each one kissing a cheek. "It's you, it's you, it's really really you!" the purple one said. "Oh my God, I've got something for you!" She dug into a purse designed to look like a packsaddle and pulled out a photocopied manuscript. "Please please please read it! Hi, I'm Midnight Twinkle! This is Rainbow Flash! Oh, my God, oh my God!"
"Sorry, girls," Wendy said. "Gotta take him to his panel now!"
They had to maneuver deftly, but finally made their getaway. When they reached the panel room, the con staff at the door let them in, but kept the others out. "Seating ten minutes before the panel," one announced.
Dipper was the first to reach the panel's table up front. He sat on the right end. Wendy asked, "What did she give you?"
Dipper unfolded the slightly rumpled manuscript, about thirty pages long, word-processed, and stapled in the upper left corner.
"Oh, boy," he said. He read the title aloud:
FRIENDSHP IS PASSION
A TRIPTWINK STORY
"Oh, Dude!" Wendy said, reading the opening paragraphs over his shoulder:
Midnight Twinkle did not mean to go thru the wrong portal but she did and instead of finding herself in Ponyland Mountains, she imerged on a strange planet. The first person she saw was a human boy about 15 years old, brown hair and eyes and wearing a blue vest red shirt and shorts. He took one look at her, Wow you are a beautiful girl!
Then Midnight Twinkle looked down at herself, somehow her "trip" thru the portal had change her, she was no longer a pony but had taken on the shape of a human girl with beautiful breast and shapely butt and legs, except her beautiful purple color was still there and she still had her magnificent blue swishy pony tail and golden alicorn horn oh and also she was naked.
But the boy hand her his vest so she could cover her shaply new boobs, which she new were exiting him! So he said, Hi, I'm Tripper Palms and excuse me but I would like to kiss you all over—
"Fanfiction!" Tripper groaned.
Wendy put her hand on his shoulder. "Congratulations, Dip. You've got your own fangirls and guys and evidently a horse is in love with you. You have arrived!"