Chapter 8: A New Normal

Kageyama was out of his seat and racing towards the classroom door as soon as the day's final bell began to sound. Other students backed out of his way and watched with concern flickering over their faces before spilling out after him into the hallway. The restlessness that had been gnawing at his insides all afternoon was finally quieting down as he pulled his cell phone out of the pocket of his bag. Kageyama barreled down the hall while scrolling through the list of notifications that had accumulated since lunchtime, reaching the getabako where students were putting away their school shoes just in time to see the team beginning to group up around Coach Ukai.

"Kageyama, Tsukishima!" Ukai waved his hand towards him, allowing Kageyama the chance to whip around and see the other first-year approaching behind him. "I'm glad I caught all of you before you made it over to the club room."

Kageyama grimaced down at his cell phone before slipping it into his pocket and jogging over to the group. "What's up, Coach?" Kageyama spoke with a hint of annoyance managing to slip through.

Ukai folded his arms as Tsukishima stopped at Kageyama's side, then surveyed the group before him. "Just one look at any of your faces," he grunted, "and I can tell that none of you have the heart to pretend like today will be a normal, everyday practice. I've been debating it all day anyway, but seeing all of you in person just solidifies it in my mind. Practice is canceled."

Not a single cry of dissent issued from the group. Instead, silence reverberated around the circle.

"So," Ukai continued, "take this time to care for yourselves. Make sure you are healthy in mind and spirit, and we can consider reconvening again tomorrow. We'll take it day-by-day until you all are ready to come back to the court. It has always been a place of passion and fun for you all, and it is my responsibility and pleasure as your coach to keep it that way. The gym will be open if anyone wants to do some mindless scrimmaging, and I'll be in the office with Takeda for the next hour if anyone needs to talk, but please go home if you need to. We're here for you all." He nodded firmly before falling silent.

The boys looked around at each other, not really sure what to do with the unexpected free time they had been given. Some began to break away from the group, but Kageyama held up his hand to stop them.

"I've been waiting all afternoon to read a message I got from Hinata's mom, if anyone wants to hear it." No one spoke, so Kageyama pulled out the phone and pulled up the message. "She texted just at the end of lunch. It says Hinata's surgery went through the whole night and he was brought back to his room early this morning, probably around the time we all were getting ready for school. It went well, they got the glass and the handlebar out, but the doctors said he lost a lot of blood in the crash."

"Did she get to talk to Shoyo?" Nishinoya popped his head over Kageyama's shoulder to look at the message.

"She didn't mention anything about that. Maybe he was still recovering from the anesthesia when she replied to me."

"What about visiting hours? Can we go and see him?" Yachi leaned in next to Nishinoya and spoke almost in a whisper. Shimizu placed a comforting hand on her shoulder as Kageyama shook his head.

"No mention of that, either. But we could always just try to see him and if they kick us out, they kick us out."

"It'll be best if only a few of you go," Ukai spoke up. "You won't want to overwhelm Hinata's mother, and especially not Hinata if he is awake. He's been through an ordeal."

The team members looked around at each other again, all seeming eager to be the ones to go. But they all knew who among them should go.

"Kageyama, it has to be you," Sugawara said as he locked eyes with him from across the circle. "Hinata's mom knows you, so she might actually be at ease having you around. And maybe she would appreciate having another woman to talk to?" He swiveled his gaze around to the two managers.

Shimizu nodded in agreement, then turned to place her free hand on Yachi's other shoulder. "You're closer with Hinata than I am, Hitoka-chan. You two really got to know each other outside of practice, when you helped him study. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you if he's awake. Take care of him and his mother for the rest of us."

"I'll do my best!" Yachi replied as she bowed her head slightly. Before she could join Kageyama by the entryway, however, Nishinoya piped up again.

"Coach Ukai, do you think it'd be okay if others went too, just to wait in the waiting room or something? I'd really like to support Shoyo even if I can't see him."

"As long as you don't crowd up the hallway or take up room where you shouldn't be, like you did last night, I suppose it would be fine."

Nishinoya offered the coach a confident smile before joining Yachi, and Ukai had to keep himself from smirking as he watched nearly every member of the team follow suit. Only Tsukishima stood his ground where he had been in the circle, but his facade of indifference was broken almost instantly as Yamaguchi scampered back to him and tugged him along after the others.

As Kageyama and the others entered the main waiting area of the hospital after a short train ride, he was caught by surprise to see Hinata's mother standing by a vending machine in the corner of the room, wearing the same clothes as the day before and staring vacantly into a cup of coffee. The others stood back and watched as Kageyama approached her, and she slowly lifted her head as she noticed him.

"Kageyama, you're here again," she sighed, seeming almost relieved to see him. "Did my little Natsu give you any trouble?"

"No ma'am, she was very responsible and cooperative."

"Oh, good." She swirled the coffee around, then took a long sip. Kageyama waited a moment for her to continue, but she returned her gaze to the cup in her hands. Her eyes looked sunken in and dark.

"Um… how is Shoyo? Would it be alright for me to see him? I brought another friend of his, Yachi Hitoka." Kageyama turned and waved for Yachi to join them, so she scampered over quietly.

"Hello, ma'am," Yachi smiled and bowed to the tired woman.

"You look familiar, Yachi."

"Oh, if you've ever been to a Karasuno game, I'm the new manager training under Shimizu-senpai. I also helped your son study for school a bit, but I don't think we've ever met personally."

"Ah," Hinata's mother smiled wearily as she replied. "That's what it is. Shoyo has mentioned your name before. He went on and on about how you saved his volleyball dream by helping with that. Thank you, dear." She bowed her head slightly, causing Yachi's face to flush deep red.

Kageyama had patiently watched their exchange even though his initial question had gone unanswered, but now he was growing restless. He began running his fingers across the fabric of the bag slung across his shoulder, and Hinata's mother noticed.

"Oh, Kageyama, how thoughtless of me to ignore your question! I haven't slept much, so I'm feeling a bit scatterbrained. I needed to get out of that room for a little while, I just couldn't bear it any longer." Kageyama felt a tightness form in his throat as he listened to the woman speak.

"He's okay, right?"

"Actually, honey," she sighed again as her fingers tightened around the coffee. "Shoyo hasn't woken up yet. He should have hours ago, but he just hasn't. I've been out here for about half an hour, so I really should get back and see if anything has changed." The woman downed the rest of her coffee and tossed the empty cup in the can next to the vending machine.

"May we come with you?" Yachi reached forward and took her arm, shooting a glance at Kageyama as if to say, "Hey, I've got this. You don't have to act like you've got it all together in front of her, because I will!"

As Hinata's mother nodded slowly in response, Kageyama fell behind the two women a few paces and let emotion begin to flood his face. As the three passed the other members of the team, several offered comforting touches to his arm or shoulder before settling down in the seats strewn across the waiting room. Kageyama tried to control his anxious breathing as he listened to the women talking.

"Is there anything I can do to help you out, ma'am?"

"How sweet of you, dear. I wish there was something, but you're doing perfectly just being here for me and my son now." She patted Yachi's hand, still draped over her own, as her eyes clouded over. "I'm not sure if Shoyo has ever shared this with you two, but I'm a single mother. I'm the breadwinner of the family, of course. I don't want my son having to work to help me out when he's got something he's so passionate about to spend his free time doing instead. I left work early yesterday, and I took today off as well, but I have to get back to it tomorrow. What will I do?"

"Won't your boss understand that you need to be with your son, though?" Kageyama finally spoke behind her.

"I already used all of my emergency days off for this year when Natsu had a bad cold a few weeks ago. Today was my last one. So I guess what I will ask the two of you to do, even though you've already done so much Kageyama, is to be with my son when you can. I don't want him to be alone when I can't be there with him."

They reached the door of Hinata's hospital room as she fell silent, and she stepped aside to usher the two students in before her. She seemed to pause at the threshold, but Kageyama turned back and outstretched his hand.

"We're here with you, ma'am."

She smiled gently at him as she took his hand, and the three walked into the room together. They made their way to the bedside, where Kageyama helped the woman lower herself into the chair she had probably slept in the night before. He sat down beside her, and Yachi leaned against the windowsill next to him.

"Nothing's changed," the tired mother breathed out as she instinctively ran her fingers through the curls of the sleeping boy. Kageyama watched her fingers trailing through the fiery orange of his hair, then allowed himself to lower his gaze.

Hinata was still sleeping, just as his mother had informed them, but now he lay on his back, a small pillow nestled between his body and the edge of the bed to keep his weight from pressing down on the wound on his back. He was clothed in proper hospital attire now, the tiniest hint of a bandage peeking out of the front of his shirt. A thick white blanket was pulled up to his chest, obscuring any sign of the injuries to his stomach and leg and also covering one of his arms. His left arm rested nearest to Kageyama, exposed to the chill in the room as an IV needle was nestled into a vein in his hand. An oxygen mask was still strapped to the boy's face, which looked more peaceful now, the beads of sweat wiped from his forehead and his eyes closed so lightly that it looked like they might open at any moment. But Hinata's lips were parted under the mask, his breaths coming unsteadily, and his skin was still pale.

"He looks better than the last time I saw him," Kageyama said as he placed a hand over the trembling fingers of the woman beside him, trying to reassure himself as much as her. "I was worried that they wouldn't bandage him up in time, but they did, so I'm thankful."

"Twenty-seven stitches in his back, thirty-four in his stomach, and thirty-five in his leg," Hinata's mother nodded as she spoke. "They said it was a miracle that they didn't have to amputate his leg."

The worries that had followed Kageyama home the night before flooded back into his mind as he listened to Hinata's mother. Hinata's leg wouldn't be fit to stand on for a long time, let alone race across a court and jump. But that didn't matter right now. All that mattered was seeing those eyes open. Those eyes that were always shining, bursting with the passion and energy that Hinata put into everything. Kageyama hadn't realized that he was staring at them until the woman beside him began to sob.

"Ugh, I'm exhausted! I'm sorry, I shouldn't be acting like this in front of you two," she groaned as she wiped away her tears with the sleeve of her shirt.

"Can I offer something, Mrs. Hinata?" Yachi slipped behind Kageyama's chair and placed a hand on the woman's shoulder. "Can you and I go on a walk together around the hospital? Maybe find somewhere you can clean up a bit and find something healthy to eat?"

"I don't think I'll be able to eat again for a long time, sweetie, but that sounds nice." Hinata's mother stood and Yachi walked her to the door.

"Ma'am," Kageyama stood. "I'll stay with Shoyo for as long as you need, so please take your time. If you need to go home and sleep for a few hours, I promise I will stay with him."

"Thank you, Kageyama. Maybe I will take you up on that offer. I'm sure Natsu misses me, and I can't ask her teacher to keep watching over her all night." She smiled back at him before linking arms with Yachi again as they headed down the hallway.

Kageyama sighed and sat down again once they had departed, moving over to the seat closer to the head of the bed. He reached out and touched the top of Hinata's hand, gasping at the iciness of his skin. Kageyama pulled his chair forward and rested his elbows on the side of the bed, then cupped Hinata's hand within his own and began to rub his fingers across it, careful not to disturb the medical tape that held the IV in place.

"What am I going to do with you, idiot," he whispered as his gaze returned to Hinata's closed eyes.

Kageyama had spent the remainder of that night at Hinata's side, texting his teammates occasionally to pass the time, and also speaking with the doctors and nurses that would pop in and out of the room. Hinata's mother had insisted that the doctors share any pressing information with Kageyama, as she had mulled over his offer and decided to go home to sleep. The doctors would call her with anything drastically important, but Kageyama was charged with texting her small updates once an hour. They were usually something along the lines of "No change, still asleep" or "Doctors say his breathing is still stable enough."

The other boys, too, had decided to head home after a few hours. The doctors had given them permission to pop in individually as they were leaving, though, so each player was able to give Kageyama a reassuring message before departing. Even Tsukishima tried to say something encouraging, before ultimately deciding to leave it at a thumbs up before heading home. Kageyama himself had finally left at around midnight, when Hinata's mother had returned with a bag packed full of things to allow her to have a more comfortable night: blankets and a pillow from home, a toothbrush and other toiletries, and a change of clothes for the morning. She would be heading directly to work from the hospital and had scoured the neighborhood on her way for someone reliable to watch Natsu overnight.

"I simply can't ask you to care for her again, Kageyama," she had said upon arrival at the hospital when Kageyama had asked about the girl. "You're a high school student and you have enough to focus on as it is."

And the following days seemed to follow in much the same way: Kageyama and Hinata's mother would head over to the hospital after school and work were finished, and would spend some time with the boy in shifts. After the weekend had come and gone, volleyball practice resumed, and Kageyama started coming to the hospital later in the evening. He worked out a system with Hinata's mother, where she would be with him in the early evening, then head home to spend time with Natsu once practice was over and Kageyama could make his way over. Other boys from the team often came with Kageyama, but he stayed until visiting hours were over while they often had to be home to spend time with family. Hinata's mother had also stopped sleeping at the hospital, finding the stress to have too much of an impact on her productivity at work, so Kageyama stayed as late as possible. Every night, he would shut off the dim light on the bedside table, place his hand lightly on top of the sleeping boy's head, and say, "See you tomorrow, idiot," before pulling the blankets up higher on his body and softly closing the door on his way out.

Practice was weird as hell, too. Ukai had waited almost a week for Hinata to wake up before ultimately deciding that they had to continue if they didn't want to get rusty. The first day they had all returned to the court, most of the boys had been completely silent during warm up. Everything about their flow was messed up, as nobody was calling the balls they were planning to receive or toss and communication was almost nonexistent. The room read more like colleagues at work than teammates training together. Even as the days passed and some seemed to adapt to this new sense of normal, Kageyama still found himself in a funk. He missed more than a handful of passes from the receivers during each practice, and all of his tosses to the spikers were consistently too high. With Hinata on his mind so often, he kept setting at the height he was used to playing at with the boy, and other players just couldn't handle it.

A week after practice had resumed, and more than two weeks after Hinata had come out of surgery comatose, Coach Ukai pulled Kageyama aside at the end of practice one day.

"What is it, Coach? Can we talk tomorrow? I usually go see Hinata after practice."

"I know, Kageyama, I know," Ukai sighed. "Listen, I'll keep this brief. I know everybody is struggling a little bit right now, but you can use this time during practice every day as a way to let out your emotions. Channel them into being an asset to the team. I can see you out there every day, drowning in your own thoughts. It's visible in your setting, your communication, everything. I want you to enjoy being here, despite everything that's going on in your life. Do you still enjoy being here?"

Kageyama found himself unable to meet the coach's eyes, staring instead at his shoes. "I want to enjoy it, sir, but it's not the same as it was before. Hinata had everything to do with how I was embraced by this team, how I embraced everyone. I don't know how to play without him."

"Hinata showed you how to adapt to playing with others, right? How to adjust to their playstyles and find what works for you as a collective?" Kageyama nodded. "Then, this is your time to show him that you've really taken that to heart. Do your best, grow, and show him how much you've changed. He'll wake up, and you'll show him that all the time he was away from the team, the way he changed you was still resonating in your heart and driving you forward."

Kageyama felt a tear trickle down his cheek before he could hide his face, and Ukai pulled him into a tight hug. "Thank you," he whispered into Ukai's shoulder before pulling back and wiping the sleeve of his track jacket across his eyes. Ukai watched as he slowly walked towards the door of the gym, but then called to him as he reached the threshold.

"I was going to tell everyone this tomorrow, but I think you need to hear it now. I've arranged for you guys to play a casual scrimmage match against Nekoma in two weeks' time. I thought it would be good for all of you to do something for the fun of it, but if you're serious about showing Hinata what you've learned from him, get better before that match. And tell Hinata today that that's your goal, no matter if he can hear you or not. Tell him that when he wakes up, because he will, he'll be watching a new Kageyama out on the court."

"Yes sir!" Kageyama shouted at the top of his lungs, feeling goosebumps rise on his skin. He bowed low before running out of the gym, hardly able to contain his emotion as he set out for the hospital.