The fake fruit bowl stings his eyes like a blur in the fovea. If Cyrus nudges it ever so slightly to the right, the motion will activate a mechanism that opens Giovanni's secret weapons cache. Fortunately, Cyrus had disabled it for the safety of Alola, but who knows what other secrets sleep behind the walls of this luxurious mansion.
But this story is not about hidden bunkers and smuggled contraband. Not today.
"Excuse me—"
"YEAH?!" Archie rakes his fist across the leaning tower of wooden blocks he and Maxie were building. It was obvious that Maxie was about to win, judging from his murderous glare.
"I would like us to try out a game," Cyrus mutters.
Lysandre dusts his coat, sending clumps of cat hair down the recently mopped floor, much to Cyrus's chagrin. "Are we playing XY Integration? I am in the mood to drive someone to bankruptcy."
"Please, I did that yesterday."
"I was talking about the game, Giovanni."
"Y-Yes, me too."
"Are we playing Krabbies against Horror Flicks?" says Maxie excitedly.
Ghetsis remembers the last time they played board games with Maxie. He shudders. "Let's not." To Cyrus, he says, "You don't look like the type to survive Toilet Tag."
"No, I… Toilet Tag?" Cyrus shakes his head. "My students speak highly of a trending PC game—"
"PC?"
"Personal computer, Giovanni."
"Pssh. I was just testing you."
Archie's eyes are glowing. "I'm not good with computer stuff, but I'd love to try it! What's it called?"
"Amoong Us," Cyrus says. "Guzma said it destroyed his friendship with Plumeria for the day."
"Who?"
Maxie sits up, eyebrows woven into his hairline. "So friendship is up in the air, eh?" He shoots a glance at his bestest friend, and a smirk curls at his lips. "Is it a social deduction game?"
Cyrus nods. "Yes. And it's set up in space. We get to play in a space station!"
He must've been looking forward to this, Giovanni thinks. He shrugs. "Sure. Why not."
Cyrus hurries to his room and returns with a sleek black laptop. "Guzma was considerate enough to let me use Vapour account. The passkey is 'sirius' when you enter the room."
"What room?" says Giovanni.
"The waiting room."
"Where is it?"
Ghetsis snickers. "Okay boomer." Giovanni has no idea what that meant, but he yanks those green antennas regardless.
As everyone else starts up their computers, the millennial patiently walks the boomer through the steps of accessing the interweb. Giovanni prefers a more traditional method—after all, blackmail retains more anonymity through paper. As long as you don't send it via federal mail of course.
The screen starts up. Space-themed disco music plays from his deluxe Blueteeth speakers. Giovanni only purchases the best of the best, even if he has no idea how to operate technology.
"How do you play?" he says.
"Read the instructions."
"I wasn't asking you, Gregg."
"Where are the instructions?" Archie says, and Giovanni breathes a sigh of relief knowing that he's not the only clueless one.
Cyrus squints at the tiny text. "Well, from what Guzma told me, there are Impostors and Crewmembers aboard the space station. Crewmembers must complete tasks to end the day while Impostors kill, sabotage, and evade blame."
Giovanni and Maxie perk up.
"Wait," says Lysandre. "I need to familiarize myself with the features—"
"No one's got time for that!" Maxie barks. "I'm going to my room first. No cheating!"
"Me too," says Ghetsis. "I don't trust any of y'all. Especially Cyrus."
Cyrus's eyes crinkle. "That's the type of thinking that might save your life someday."
Archie looks slightly disconcerted at the sudden tenseness in the usually jovial atmosphere. "Well… I guess I'll play." He slowly makes his way to his room. "I hope Maxie doesn't go overboard. Again."
Lysandre strokes his flaming beard. "Friend or foe? Truth or false? Heh, perhaps I can use this 'game' as an example for my socioeconomics lecture next Tuesday…"
With four of Rainbow Rocket gone, Giovanni turns back to Cyrus. This kid is a wildcard. Can't be too comfortable around him either…
"This is your character customization," Cyrus explains. "You can choose skins and accessories."
Giovanni dresses his astronaut with a slick pompadour. Appropriate battle gear for war.
"You need a username to proceed," Cyrus says.
Giovanni picks "Pyroarizlame."
Ping! A red dot blinks at the corner of the screen.
Pyroarizlame has joined RR Chat with Watersucks, Dirtstinks, and 3 others.
ihatePersian: Change your username right now
Pyroarizlame: You change yours
ihatePersian has changed their username to Persian_is_overrated
Dennis: Cyrus restart the game they autocorrected Dennis I can't go back
Watersucks: once u go green u cant go back
Dirtstinks: what does that even mean
"I think we should start the game." There is something in Cyrus's eyes that sends frost shooting down Giovanni's spine. "If anything malfunctions, let me know. Good luck."
Six pudgy astronauts roam around the Cafeteria of The Scold, the current map that features a wide assortment of rooms and tasks.
Persian_is_overrated: Is Archie the one with the beanie?
Watersucks: thats me
Dirtstinks: im the one with the knight helmet. Lysandre the one with the cat ears?
Persian_is_overrated: oui
Dennis: Cyrus please
Cyrus: I cannot stop an in-progress game.
Watersucks: lol
Pyroarizlame: Does it matter?
Dennis: YES MY NAME IS DENNIS NOT DENNIS!
Watersucks: i love autocorrect
Once the time reaches 0, a black screen appears with a "shh." Giovanni's side brings up a blue background.
"Damn!" he groans. "I'm a crewmate…"
Dennis: Which one of u is the Impostor
Watersucks: not me
Dirtstinks: nope
Persian_is_overrated: None of us is the Impostor
Dennis: its prolly Gio and Cy
Pyroarizlame: it aint me
Cyrus: ^
Giovanni starts the first round by treading slowly around the map, getting better accustomed to where's where. Engines. Medbay. Navigation. He thinks he has the basics down: approach an interactive object and fix stuff. Simple enough.
Suddenly, as he is connecting wires to colored ports, a flash of red streaks through his interface. A roster. Six… no, five astronauts. A big, bloody "X" sits on top of Cyrus's greyed out name.
Giovanni flings Cyrus's bedroom door open. To his surprise, the kid is… alive. Sitting on the floor with his laptop in his laps.
Cyrus slowly lifts his reading glasses. "I'm all right," he says as if he can read Giovanni's mind. "My character's neck got snapped backwards." In a lower voice, he adds, "Perhaps going alone isn't the best option…?"
"Who did this to you?" Giovanni barks. "I'll—"
"You can't kill if you're a crewmate… if you're a crewmate, of course." Cyrus walks Giovanni back to this room. "Thank for you checking up on me. Good luck on your end."
Ghetsis's portrait has a microphone next to it. It must mean that he was the one who sounded the alarm when he saw the body.
Dennis: fess up criminal
Watersucks: it was archie
Dirtstinks: i was at the lower engine room working on the task
Pyroarizlame: I was there too but I didn't see you
Dennis: o_o
Watersucks: 0_o
Persian_is_overrated: It's Gio and Archie
Watersucks: the lights were out remember? i couldnt see Gio in the dark!
Dennis: wait but Gio saw u
Persian_is_overrated: the Impostor sees everyone
Pyroarizlame: I'm not the Impostor! I was connecting the colored wires!
Dirtstinks: wait so both of u were doing the same task but didnt see each other?
Dennis: sus
Dirtstinks: it was Archie
Watersucks: hold up
Dennis: idk Maxie wants to get rid of Archie very badly
Persian_is_overrated: true…
Watersucks: wait
1 vote for Archie. 3 votes for Maxie. 1 abstained. Maxie is ejected out of the space station.
A dejected Maxie smashes his keyboard—and promptly retrieves a new one. He drags his ass over to Cyrus in the loser's den.
In another room, Giovanni is busy scanning for comets when a cleaver slices his character down the midsagittal plane. His jaw drops. The Impostor ambles away and rejoins the party as if nothing has happened.
A new message reads "You Lose" followed by an ominous roll call of the real Impostors.
"I told you so!" Maxie roars, dashing out the hallway and launching himself against his smiling friend. "I TOLD YOU ARCHIE WAS UP TO NO GOOD! BUT NOOOO HE WOULD NEVER HURT A FLY!"
"I didn't know you could hide in vents," Cyrus mutters.
"All in the manual." Lysandre chuckles, evidently pleased with himself.
Giovanni scowls. "Archie suddenly came up with a machete."
"Bwaha… No hard feelings, Gio."
Ghetsis has just now understood the reality of this game: how deceitful his colleagues are, how no one's words are to be trusted, and how quickly public opinion can be swayed by baseless facts.
And this is only the beginning.
"What are you waiting for?" Ghetsis huffs. "Let's start Round Two!"
Giovanni is sitting on the edge of his seat, thumbs twiddling nervously in his pockets. The trepidation is too much, so he paces around the room while a miffed Persian complains about not getting her hourly belly rubs.
He checks the laptop. And groans. "Why do I have to be a stinking crewmate again?!"
Dennis: okay who is it this time?
Dirtstinks: archie
Watersucks: maxie
Pyroarizlame: Archie or Lysandre like last time
Persian_is_overrated: that was completely randomized!
Cyrus: It is randomized.
Dennis: i got my eye on you
It's Giovanni's first instinct to go with a group, but his other instinct tells him that he'll be bodied that way. What if he went with two others who turn out to be Impostors? Going alone is also a bad idea…
"Damn!" he hisses. "Almost ran into Ghetsis."
Speaking of Ghetsis… why is he running around the Medbay like a headless Torchic?
The stage plunges into darkness. When light returns, Giovanni is standing beside Ghetsis and a cleaved body. His brain is still processing the scene when Cyrus comes in.
Cyrus: I came into the Medbay and saw Ghetsis and Giovanni standing over Archie's dead body.
Watersucks: sus
Pyroarizlame: its not what it looks like
Dennis: says every guilty party ever
Pyroarizlame: you killed him!
Dennis: YOU KILLED HIM!
Persian_is_overrated: I was in the Weapons room all the way in the upper right. Someone tripped the lights
Pyroarizlame: Dennis was acting strange
Dennis: i dont remember the controls ok
Watersucks: sus 100 % fs its Gio or Gregg
Cyrus: Why did none of you sound the alarm?
Pyroarizlame: The button didn't work!
Dennis: I vote Gio
2 votes for Giovanni. 2 votes for Ghetsis. 1 abstained. No one was ejected.
"It was Ghetsis," Giovanni grumbles to his displeased Persian. "I just know it."
He thinks of stalking Gregg, but that's a double-edge move. Ghetsis is "fixing" something in Navigations, but he seems a bit too quick to finish the task.
Maxie comes in, circles them, and runs out. Oookay. But when Giovanni looks back, Ghetsis is gone. He hurries down the corridor just in time to spot the sunny-side up on the green astronaut… then the door slams in his face. It's locked. The lights blow out.
When Giovanni can move again, he makes a beeline to the Cafeteria for the emergency button. Maxie passes him on the way there.
Pyroarizlame: it was Dennis let's get this over with
Dennis: NO ONE DIED YET
Pyroarizlame: where y'all at
Cyrus: I just left the Cafeteria. I saw you.
Watersucks: I'm at Storage
Persian_is_overrated: I didn't see Maxie when I came into Storage
Cyrus: What task were you doing, Lysandre?
Persian_is_overrated: the one with the buttons
Dirtstinks: I don't recall any buttons there
Persian_is_overrated: oh I meant communications my bad.
Watersucks: O_0
Dennis: sus
Persian_is_overrated: excuse me I never played this game before
Pyroarizlame: it's Gregg and Pyroar
Dennis: it's gio
No vote was conducted.
Giovanni resumes his game extra cautious about the green menace behind him. Thankfully, he locates Cyrus standing before the computers in Security.
"You, me, allies," Giovanni says to the screen. "Come on, get the message…"
Giovanni follows Cyrus into the hall. And there, lying in plain view is Lysandre's lower torso. Giovanni is about to mash the alarm when the vent shaft pops, a gun shoots him point-blank, and he's outed as a legless ghost.
Simultaneously in another part of the map, the last crewmember had just finished shooting asteroids when he turns to see his ally. Relieved, he rushes forward… only to be pierced in the heart with a forked tongue.
Ghetsis storms into the kitchen where the Impostors greet him with a cup of coffee. Maxie had ditched his glasses, revealing just how sharp and feral his eyes can be. He resembles more like a bandit king than their cherished dirt nerd.
"Killing you and Giovanni would be too risky," Cyrus says nonchalantly, sipping his dark roast coffee. "You held each other's alibis, after all."
"Cyrus ambushed me!" Archie yelps. "Y'all fell for his self-reporting!"
"Maxie killed me in the hall," Lysandre murmurs. "I was powerless to stop Cyrus from luring Giovanni back to the slaughter…"
Maxie is vehemently slapping the kitchen counter. Something breaks, and it's not his wrist.
"Wear your glasses," Archie says with an urgency. "Please put your glasses on."
Giovanni makes a mental note never to underestimate the nerds again. Never. But we all know that like his New Year's resolution, he'll forget all about it and commit the same mistakes again.
Round 3. Giovanni holds his breath. Slowly, he peeks through the cracks in his fingers.
"YES!" Finally! The day of retribution has come!
His accomplice-in-crime knocks down his door. He steals Giovanni's beanbag chair, kicks his long legs on the bed, and tosses his luminous green hair all over Giovanni's desk.
"Don't mess up," Ghetsis says.
"Look at those fools. I'll show them a world of pai—OW! My hair!"
"That's my line, fool!" Giovanni snaps. "Listen, we need to plan accordingly—hey look, there's Cyrus! And he's alone!" His voice cracks with twisted glee.
Giovanni kicks his shins. "Fu, don't wander around by yourself. We need to stick together." He winks. "You know what they say: 'Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead.'"
Giovanni suddenly feels very uncomfortable. "We… are on the same team… right?"
Cyrus's astronaut is indeed standing by itself in the 02 chamber. Giovanni and Ghetsis circle in like vultures for the kill. But something isn't right. Cyrus isn't working on any tasks. He's just standing there… menacingly.
"He's onto us!" Giovanni hisses.
"Or it could be a bluff," Ghetsis counters. A pause. "Wait, are you sure you're the Impasta, old man?" His accent comes up at the weirdest time, but Giovanni doesn't comment on it.
Nevertheless, they leave the creepy toilet paper-wearing astronaut alone. Ghetsis suggests splitting up to avoid suspicion. Giovanni slips through the vents into Security, sees the Persian hater, and promptly snaps his neck. Cue Archie and Maxie's timely arrival.
Dirtstinks: it was Gio
Watersucks: caught red handed
"Why didn't you self-report?" Ghetsis roars. Giovanni has no appropriate comeback, so he socks Ghetsis in the stomach instead.
Pyroarizlame: I was about to report when Maxie reported first
Dennis: Gio was with me in electrical before he left
Dirtstinks: that's far
Watersucks: he vented
Cyrus: Dennis, you're not accusing Giovanni like you normally do.
Watersucks: o_o
Dirtstinks: ouch
Giovanni smacks Ghetsis in the back of the head. Cyrus is right: Ghetsis spent the beginning of each round blatantly tossing false accusations. And now he's suddenly giving Giovanni an alibi, which hurts his validity instead of helping it.
Dennis: Cyrus was just standing there when the O2 dropped
Cyrus: What task were you doing, Dennis?
Ghetsis gawks at Giovanni, who shrugs. "Deflect his question," the latter says. "We need to boot Cyrus off the ship."
Dennis: What task were you doing, Cyrus?
Dirtstinks: Cyrus wasn't near the body tho
Cyrus: I was swiping my card in Admin.
Watersucks: that's quite far from 02
Giovanni holds his breath.
Dirtstinks: sorry buddy you're starting to become more sus when I think about it
Cyrus: Giovanni and Ghetsis were near the body.
Watersucks: how do you know that?
Cyrus: You tol
4 votes for Cyrus. 1 vote for Giovanni. Cyrus is tossed into a pit of boiling lava.
Immediately after that decisive vote, Maxie calls an emergency meeting.
Watersucks: If Cyrus was innocent this is our last chance to out the Impostor
Dirtstinks: so he wasn't the Impostor?
Pyroarizlame: He was very suspicious
Watersucks: i was thinking about what Cyrus said. Dennis is too mellow
Dennis: im not an asshole 247
Watersucks: we didn't see Cyrus around Lys's body
Pyroarizlame: He vented
Watersucks: there are no vents in that area
2 votes for Ghetsis. 1 vote for Maxie. 1 vote for Archie. Ghetsis is yeeted off the ship.
"LET'S GOOO!" Archie's booming victory cry shakes the whole mansion.
Giovanni and Ghetsis shuffle into the kitchen. Maxie is slapping his knees like he's playing drums. "I TOLD YOU THEY WERE SUS FROM THE START!"
"I suspected it was them," Lysandre mutters. "They were too innocent."
Cyrus tilts his head, amused. "With me gone, you had two strongly opposing factions. It would be difficult to cause squad mutiny."
"And I would never betray Archie!" Maxie proclaims.
Archie coughs politely.
Ghetsis stomps his foot. "We coulda wawn ivanawt fer ya…" The rest blurs into his nasally city accent. But Giovanni sees the childish glee in his rival's eye, and it's very contagious, as it makes him throw back his head in a bitter cackle.
"As always," he says, "I would've won if it wasn't for these meddling kids…"
Archie slings his beefy arms around his colleagues. "In the end, the integrity of our friendship is still preserved." There are some murmurs to that, which Archie promptly ignores. "Let's go do something outside. My eyes hurt from staring at a computer all day."
Coconut trees shudder in the fragrant breeze. All is still and serene in the Alolan sunset… until a coconut detaches from the trunk and cracks a student's skull.
"It happens." Guzma doesn't take his eyes off his homemade spam masubi as university medics rush to fix up the scene. "You ever think it's odd that RRU's health insurance specifically covers head trauma due to falling coconuts? It's also a big hazing thing, not to mention it's on the bucket list of every graduating senior."
He's saying all this so casually as if falling coconuts are just as common as impractical homework loads. In fact, students don't even bat an eye as they pass the crime scene.
"Have you ever tried it?" Cyrus says.
"Dude, I'm dumb, but I'm not stupid." Guzma licks the sticky rice off his fingers. Flashes a crooked grin. "So. Did your friends like the game? Anyone throw each other under the bus to save their own hide?"
Cyrus grunts, "My colleagues, Guzma. They seemed to enjoy themselves." He peels an Alolan banana. It is fluffy and very sweet, like star apple milk. "I expected those two to point fingers at each other… Hmph, I suppose I don't know my associates as well as I thought."
Another coconut sends a victim to the hospital. Guzma digs out a bag of Hot Cheesy Cheetahs and inhales it like he's chugging Kewl-Aide. "Colleagues." He belches. "Riiight. Whatever tickles your pickle, Cy."