Chapter 8

We stood there for a moment, just soaking in each other's presence. I hadn't really realized while walking that I would see Jack again. Jack would be standing in front of me once I arrived. Jack wasn't at the bottom of the Atlantic, he was in Chippewa Falls. Jack looked like he was at a loss too, staring back at me like I was a ghost. Mia, poor thing, was standing there looking up at us, trying to figure out what we were doing.

"Rose?" He said finally. He still looked like his mind was totally blank, shocked to see me alive. Maybe he knew I was alive but saw the marriage announcement in the newspaper and figured that I didn't love him and that I went back. "Y-you're here? You're alive?" I guess he didn't know.

The corners of my mouth curved up, forming a smile. I nodded, about to respond, but Mia did first. "Why wouldn't you be alive, Mommy?" She was holding onto my leg, looking up at me. So much for her not talking, though I suppose if she had to speak up at some point, now would be the time. Hearing her talk to me pulled us out of each other's gaze and back into reality.

I smiled down at her, and Jack looked down at her too. "Who's this?" He asked. She looked up at him, though she was nervously hiding behind me. I wondered if he knew that she was my daughter, that she was Cal's daughter. She really didn't look anything like Cal, at least I thought so. I at least hoped he didn't somehow think she was his: I didn't have it in me to tell him that she wasn't and somehow hurt him. It had been eight years since Titanic, and she couldn't pass for seven years old.

I reached out and took Mia's hand, feeling her hold my hand tightly. I wanted her to know that he was okay, that he wasn't going to be mean or hurt her somehow, that there was no reason to be afraid. I suppose Mia hadn't been around many men: Cal and Nathan never really cared about her, and we really didn't have any other men around that Mia would get to know somehow.

Mia finally stepped out from behind me and looked at Jack. "Hi," she said quietly. "I'm Mia." I was proud of her for being brave enough to talk to Jack, but there was something else that caught my attention: she introduced herself as Mia. Usually, when she told people her name, she introduced herself as Amelia. She knew that I was the only one to call her Mia. The strange thing was, it didn't bother me that she introduced herself as Mia. It somehow signaled to me that she felt like there was something about Jack where he was worthy of being in on our special little nickname.

Jack smiled and chuckled. "Hi, Mia," he said back, looking down at her. God, he was such a natural with children. He was better with Mia after five seconds than Cal was after five years. "I'm Jack." I saw Mia smile back up at him, feeling less shy. Jack looked back up at me after a moment. "Come inside," he said finally, holding the door open for us. I smiled, taking Mia's hand and walking inside.

We stood in the foyer of Jack's house, and I looked around. It was so warm, such a beautiful home. I wished I could've grown up or raised Mia in a house like this one. Jack stood in front of me, wanting to ask me all sorts of questions, I could tell. But his eyes settled on Mia. I realized we needed to talk privately, and tried to think of a way to make that happen. I knelt down to Mia. "Hey, you want to go play?" I asked quietly, a smile on my face. I took her stuffed bunny rabbit out of my bag and handed it to her. She hugged it tightly and nodded. "Don't go too far."

Mia skipped away, and I stood up to look at Jack again. We were back to gazing at each other, unable to do anything else. Jack was the one to finally get it together and speak first. "Come, let's sit," he led me through a large archway, into the living room. I sat down on one side of the couch, and he sat on the other. "So…" he paused, I think he was trying to figure out what to say. "You're alive."

"You are too," I said finally, feeling a little bit more comfortable as I sank into the large couch. He looked just as I remembered him: beautiful, kind eyes, warm smile. His eyes showed some darkness that wasn't there the last time I saw him. "I… I'm not sure how. I watched you sink into the water, I let go of your hand." I looked away from him. "I never should've let go of your hand."

"You did the right thing," he replied, taking my hand. His index finger touched my engagement ring, and my heart broke. He looked at it, then looked back up at me. "Are… are you married?" He knew the answer, just looking at me. His eyes looked so sad, and I knew mine did too. "I mean… you must be. Mia's father…"

"I… I am married," I said finally. He looked down, avoiding my gaze. "It's a very long story, but… Mia and I are here all on our own. He's not here." I had so much to tell him, but I couldn't just dump everything in my life onto his shoulders at once. I took a deep breath, looking back up at him. "Listen, I'm sure you want to know everything, including how I magically ended up here with a daughter and no husband." He nodded leaning his forearms on his knees. "But… some of it will make you angry, and Mia's in the next room. So… try not to yell or scream or anything."

Jack nodded, accepting the terms. "Do I really seem that hotheaded, Rose?" He asked. "I think you're confusing me with someone else… Hockley, maybe," He chuckled. He looked at me, noticing the sudden change in my facial expression. "No," he said louder now. "Rose, tell me it's not true." My heart started racing as he stood up. "Tell me you didn't marry him!" I said nothing as Jack's eyes widened in realization of another thing as well. He said in almost a whisper, "Tell me she's not his…"

"Shh!" I grabbed his arm, pulling him back down onto the couch. "I have an explanation, I swear, if you'd let me," I raised my eyebrows, waiting for him to give me a nod, let me know that he will let me explain. He finally did, giving me a quick nod. "Okay. I suppose I should start with Carpathia. I was sick, kept in the infirmary for moderately sick people, since I wasn't unconscious or suffering from severe hypothermia or anything. I woke up to Cal sitting next to me. He apologized for everything that happened on Titanic. I didn't forgive him, of course. I told him that it wasn't alright, that I would never be with him again.

"He persisted, though, and when I decided to stay in New York, he stayed too. He came into the diner where I worked daily, trying to convince me to give him another chance. Then one day," I looked away from him, down at my shoes, "I spotted a newspaper with the Titanic survivor's list. I didn't see your name on it, and I just… collapsed. I fell apart, like a house of cards just barely managing to stay strong, and a gust of wind comes and knocks it down. Cal was there, and he picked me up and took care of me, when I couldn't take care of myself. And… later that day… I agreed to give him a second chance-"

"Rose," Jack interrupted, and I looked up at him. "A second chance is when someone does something once, then swears to never do it again. What Cal did was far worse," he continued, and I knew he was right. "When someone doesn't appreciate you, tries to buy your affection, hurts you, screams at you, lies to you, frames someone you care about, shoots at you, and then gets you trapped below deck on a sinking ship, you write their name in your burn book, you punch them in the face. You certainly don't court them and marry them."

"I know," I sighed. "But… I did. I was sure he'd changed. The way he treated me, the way he made me feel… it was like he was a different person. So… when he asked me to marry him, I agreed. And still, he supported me and took care of me and allowed me to follow my dreams. He was a different Cal, one that I really had fallen in love with." I noticed Jack look away, hurt, I think, that I had fallen in love with someone else. He didn't know yet that I was not in love with Cal anymore, that I hardly even considered myself married to him. "A few years later, I became pregnant with Mia. Cal was thrilled, of course, since he thought he'd finally have a son. He didn't even entertain the idea of possibly having a daughter instead."

"Of course not," Jack rolled his eyes. "All he cares about is his heir. That's all." He meant it as a sarcastic joke, meant to insult Cal's character, but he didn't know yet how true his statement was. Cal really did only care about having an heir. He didn't care about me, or Mia, or anything that wasn't business.

"When Mia was born, he looked down at her as she slept in my arms, and he was… disappointed," I explained. "He really didn't think he would ever have a girl, and coming home to find that he had a girl rather than a boy, he was disappointed. It broke my heart that he couldn't appreciate her for what she was. I mean…" I held back my tears now. "She's so incredibly sweet, and kind, and wonderful, and she deserves better than to be treated as a disappointment."

I looked over at Jack, who looked like he was getting angry. I always imagined Jack as someone who didn't have anger in him, but I was wrong: he was angry when it came to things he really cared about. I had seen that firsthand today, when he figured out that I had married Cal. "You're right," he said, turning to look at me. "Neither of you deserve that. You don't deserve to be treated like a child bearer, and nothing else. I… I still don't understand how he could think of you that way, instead of seeing you as so much more."

"You always saw me as more," I said finally. "Even when you hardly knew me, when I was hanging off the back of the ship. You didn't see me as some hollow, beautiful girl. You saw me as someone with dreams, aspirations, emotion." I looked down. "No one else has ever seen me that way."

We sat in silence for a moment, letting my words remain in the air. If only I had known Jack was alive. If only Jack had found me. If only's were useless, because there was no way to change the past. "So… how did you end up here?" Jack asked.

"Well, even once Mia was born, Cal stayed the same. He was still a good husband to me, and he still provided for Mia and I. He never really spent any time with Mia, and he hardly knew her. That didn't bother me, because I knew most husbands didn't care for the children. I had an idea in my head, that no attention was better than negative attention." I shrugged. "He still insisted that he needed an heir, even though Mia was hardly a year old, and… well, nothing ever happened. I never became pregnant again.

"Cal became rather impatient," I tried to explain it as calmly as I could, since I knew Jack would freak out once he found out. "I decided to go to the doctor to see if there was something wrong. He told me that because there were complications when I gave birth to Mia, I wasn't able to conceive another child." I paused, taking a deep breath and sigh. "Cal found out about it. He stood in front of me, yelling and screaming about how angry he was, how marrying me was a mistake, how he wouldn't treat me the same way anymore. Since I couldn't uphold my end of the contract, he was no longer obligated to uphold his. From that moment on… he was back to being Cal from Titanic."

It was that moment when Jack stood up, pacing around the room. He was clenching his fists, his face had hardened into stone, and he stomped his feet into the ground. "I can't believe this," he said, still pacing. I kept my eyes on him, trying to figure out what he was thinking. "I can't believe he treated you that way again! After you gave him a second chance! How dare he!"

"Jack-"

"No, Rose," he said, sitting back down. He was back in his spot on the couch. "You don't understand, you don't see yourself the way other people see you. But let me tell you," he said. His eyes still flashed the anger he felt inside. "You are so perfect. You're beautiful, and smart, and kind, and ambitious, and compassionate, and so much more. And… and I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's preposterous that that… " he looked past me, to where Mia was playing with her stuffed bunny, "A-S-S-H-O-L-E never appreciated you, even when he had to earn back your trust. He hurt you and screamed at you and belittled you and tried to contain parts of who you are, and you deserve a hell of a lot better."

I took his hand and held it. "I know."

"There's more," Jack said, looking at me. He was right, there was. I needed to tell him now that I had to go back to him. I had no idea how to tell him. I had no idea how I was going to go back, especially after I just found out Jack was alive. "You can tell me, Rose. I promise."

I took a deep breath before continuing, explaining how I ended up leaving. "One night, a few nights ago, I heard screaming coming from Mia's room. I ran in there to find Cal screaming at Mia… and also physically hurting her. I remember the way she cried that night," I closed my eyes, hearing her sobs ringing in my ears. "That night, I promised myself that she wouldn't stay there anymore, that I would get her out of there, no matter what."

Jack nodded. "Brave," he smiled at me. No man had smiled at me that way in a long time. I missed being noticed by someone, having someone look at me and listen to me. "So… you left," he said, and I nodded. "Well, you've never been naive, Rose, so I'm sure you know that Cal could find you in a heartbeat." I looked away. "So… what's your plan?"

I took a deep breath, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the gravity of what I was doing. I turned to look at him slowly. "I… I think I'm in over my head," I said quietly, as Jack looked at me and nodded. All of a sudden, light footsteps interrupted us.

"Mommy!" Mia skipped back into the room and over to me. I picked her up and sat her on my lap. "I like it here," she smiled, leaning against me. I wasn't sure if I was uncomfortable sitting in the same room as Jack. He was seeing a part of me that didn't exist the last time I was with him. I wondered what he was thinking, and I wondered if he was bothered by the fact that I had just showed up at his doorstep with a daughter.

"You like it here?" I asked, and she nodded happily. But I didn't smile. I think I actually frowned, and I think Jack noticed. He was staring intently at me, almost analyzing me. I forgot what it was like to be around someone so perceptive, so determined to make sure I was alright. After a moment of silence, Mia jumped out of my arms and ran away.

Jack smiled, watching her run away. "She's a really sweet little girl," he said, and I could tell he meant it. He knew that I was the primary caregiver, that if she was a sweet little girl, it was because I raised her to be that way. I smiled back, and Jack picked up exactly where we left off. "In terms of what you just said… you're not exactly the type to dive into something without thinking it through," he began. "I'm sure if you took your daughter and ran, you'd come up with some sort of plan first, and you didn't exactly know that I'd be here, I'm guessing."

"No, I didn't," I looked at him. I took a deep breath and sighed. "I knew that if I tried to take her and run, we'd be too easy to find. He could drag us right back, he could take her and leave me… it just doesn't work," I explained. I had a feeling he wouldn't like the idea of leaving Mia with Molly, and he would like the idea of me returning to Cal even less. That optimistic, good-natured man would try to find a way for everything to be alright, for me to be able to stay away from Cal while keeping Mia. "I've considered every possible option here, and there's only one that would ever work."

"And what is that?" His tone was different, suspicious, almost, as if he knew I was planning to do something that he would think was stupid. I could tell he was bracing himself for what I would say.

I took a deep breath, looking at him. "Leaving Mia somewhere safe, then returning to Cal," I said finally. He got up suddenly and started to pace around the room again. "I talked to Molly Brown, from Titanic, and… well, I told her about everything, and she told me that she would take Mia for me." Jack was at a loss for words now, I could tell. "My plan was to leave her there, then return to Cal. And I know, it's not ideal. I don't like it any more than you do."

"Not ideal?" Jack asked angrily. I knew he wasn't angry at me, but he was just angry at the situation. I was too, so I understood. "Rose, I understand wanting to give her the best chance to get away from Cal. I understand that she can't stay there, but you can't go back there either. You know you can't. You know that he'll torture you if you do. He already must know you're gone."

I knew everything he was saying was true, but I didn't have any other choice. "I know all of that, Jack, but what other choice do I have?" I asked. "I need a guarantee that Cal won't find her, that he'll never get his hands on her again. Do you have a better idea?" The question was rhetorical: there was no better idea, and even if there was, it wouldn't be Jack's job to find it.

"Yes," he said, catching me off-guard. He had a better idea? "You and Mia can stay here with me. I have an extra room and plenty of space that I couldn't possibly fill all on my own. There are no houses for a few miles, so you could even use the outdoor space with no one seeing you." He sat down again and looked at me desperately, a look that made me almost cry. "Please, Rose, say yes. Don't go to Colorado, don't leave your daughter, and don't go back to him. Please. I need to know that you'll be alright. That's all I want."

Those words… he used similar ones on Titanic, when he told me that Cal had me trapped. Now, here I was again, trapped in my life with no solution, and once again, Jack was offering me a way out. "I-I can't possibly take you up on that, Jack," I said finally. "This is my problem, not yours. I can't tie you down here, I can't just uproot your whole life and dump my problems onto your shoulders." I rested my elbows on my legs and leaned closer, taking his hand. "I really appreciate what you're trying to do, but I just can't let you."

Jack looked at me, a boyish grin beginning to form. "You jump, I jump, right?"