Chapter 9
"There had been a quick, um, startled wonder in her eyes. She had freed herself from his arms and had made him coffee," Lexa read, as her eyes flickered from left to right on the page, holding the book with a hand flat on the table, the other hand tracing the words that she was reading out.
Clarke, who was listening intently to the brunette, sat next to her. They had been doing these sort of night sessions for about a month now, and if Lexa could say so herself, she was getting quite good at reading. She remembered how a month or so ago, she didn't recognise most letters. Now, she could recognise those letters almost instantly, as well as read ahead to the following letters and saying correctly what word that was.
It wasn't an easy process, however. There were lots of different phonics patterns that she had to learn, such as when there were two vowels combined what sound they would make together, as well as some of the irregulars as well. It was a bit difficult at first as Lexa had to recognise each of the letters in turn, then try to visualise and hear the word in her head, then say it out loud. Lexa was almost about to give up a few days in, saying that it was too hard, but Clarke was persistent that she continued, saying that she had made so much progress already and it would be such a shame if she gave up.
Now, Lexa has gained confidence and was reading out loud considerably faster than before, because over time she had learnt that getting things wrong was nothing to be ashamed of. Every mistake made was just an opportunity to learn, Clarke said, and it was true: as long as Lexa paid attention to her mistakes she tended to not make them again, and that sped up her progress even more.
Clarke had also taught Lexa how to write, a bit. She had said that it was better to get Lexa really fluent in reading first, though. However, the few lessons that Lexa had of writing was even harder than the lessons that she had in reading. It was because on top of being able to recognise the letters, she now had to memorise them and recall them. On top of that, she had to learn how to spell most words, and this is where she agreed with Clarke: all that reading was definitely helping her learn the letters better and give her a better idea of how to spell.
Lexa paused as she got to the end of the paragraph, taking a little bit of a break. Reading was still hard for her even though she found it considerably easier than before, meaning that it took a lot of brainpower and focus. Besides, Lexa had read over two pages consecutively, which was some kind of record, so she was pretty proud of herself.
"Well done!" Clarke enthused, as Lexa closed her eyes to rest it after so much strain due to focus. "I can totally see you getting as good as me in a few weeks."
"I don't think so," Lexa said, slightly flattered at the consistent confidence that Clarke always had in the brunette. "You've been reading all your life, pretty much. I've just started a couple of weeks ago."
"And yet you are so good already!" Clarke gushed, leaning forward to embrace the brunette in a hug. "You are such a fast learner, I love it. You're so smart."
Lexa felt her cheeks flush at the undying flourish of compliments coming out of the blonde's mouth. "Thanks, but you speak too highly of me."
"Never," Clarke shook her head, still smiling. "Well, should we call it here for now? You've done amazingly today, I mean it. Let's go get some breakfast, shall we?"
"Yeah, that sounds good," Lexa said, as Clarke helped her to her feet. Together, they walked out the door and down the stairs.
"Morning, Echo," Clarke greeted as they saw the brunette organising pots and pans in the cupboards. "Did you sleep well?"
"Not bad," Echo shrugged. "More or less the same old, same old."
"You really should move into my room," Lexa suggested. "Clarke's dad won't realise, and if he does, we'll protect you."
"It's fine, I'll probably get back pain from the softness of the mattress," Echo joked. "Thanks for your offer, but I don't really want to take the risk. Plus, I'm pretty used to sleeping on the floor anyway."
"If you say so," Lexa said. "So, what's for breakfast today?"
"Hmm, I haven't started cooking yet," Echo said slyly. "Damn! Guess that's cereal for you?"
"Rebel," Lexa quipped, laughing. She opened the fridge and got out some milk, as well as fetching a box of cereal from the shelf to her right. "Feeling lazy on a Sunday morning?"
"It's Sunday," Echo shrugged, as if that was an explanation. "I deserve a break."
"Damn right you do," this time it was Clarke who spoke. "You want our help with your chores today?"
"It's fine, I've pretty much done them all yesterday," Echo said. "I just need to do the laundry, and that's a job I'm fine with doing alone. Thanks though."
"You want me to make you a portion?" Lexa said, holding up the cereal box.
"No, I've had breakfast," Echo smirked. "I whipped up a sausage and baked beans meal for myself already. Turns out that no one finds out anyway, huh?"
"Sneaky," Lexa slapped Echo's shoulder playfully. "Well, I'll head to the other room, see you around?"
"Bye," Echo waved, turning her back to the two girls who now made their way to the dining room.
"Good for her," Clarke said, as they sat down at the dining table.
"What do you mean?" Lexa asked, putting a mouthful of cereal and milk into her mouth.
"Echo looks a lot happier than before, and that's because of you, Lexa. You see what you are doing to everyone here?" Clarke said.
"I'm not doing anything," Lexa defended. "Maybe Echo just found the meaning of life or something so that physical abuse doesn't hurt her anymore."
"That's rubbish," Clarke chuckled, swatting the air. "You know it's because of you, you help her with all that workload that's piled upon her. You lifted a huge weight off her shoulders."
"Maybe," Lexa said contemplatively. "I'm just so awesome, aren't I?" she said in mock narcissism.
"Don't get so cocky now," Clarke warned light-heartedly. "But yeah, you are pretty awesome," she said.
Lexa smiled warmly and continued eating her cereal.
XxX
"You know how some people really like stargazing because they say that it's really beautiful?" Lexa said, turning her head to face Clarke.
"Uh-huh," Clarke said, staring up at the blue sky.
"Well, if anything, I think that staring at the clouds is just as good," Lexa said, shifting her position so that she was now lying comfortably on the slightly damp grass, pleasant petrichor creating a nice fog around them.
"Really?" Clarke said, quietly, still staring straight up.
"Yep," Lexa said. "It allows so much scope for imagination. Like you see that cloud over there?" Lexa pointed to a cloud that was on their left. "It looks like a horse."
"What?" Clarke said, amused. "In what way?"
Lexa shifted so that she was now lying cheek-to-cheek with the blonde. "You see over there," she whispered, pointing to the cloud so that Clarke to follow the brunette's line of sight. "That's the head. And there," she shifted her finger slightly. "Those are the legs. And that's the body, and that's the tail," she finished, lowering her finger.
Clarke stared at the cloud for a few moments before she turned her head to meet the brunette's. "Yeah," she said, voice slightly low and raspy. "I guess you're right. I could never see something like that."
"I bet you can," Lexa smiled, encouragingly. "Just look at the clouds and just say that the first thing that pops into your head that vaguely resembles the cloud that you're looking at."
"I'm pretty sure you still need an amazing imagination," Clarke said.
"You don't," Lexa shook her head. "Come on, just try."
"Okay," Clarke chuckled a bit, raking her eyes across the expanse of the blue sky. "Um, I guess that one looks like um… a bird."
"Which one?" Lexa said, pressing her cheek to the blonde's again. She felt Clarke's cheeks heat up a little, or it may have been her own, she didn't know.
Clarke pointed to one on the far right, and Lexa followed her line of vision. "You see, those two white bits are its wings. The head is over… there."
"Oh yeah, that's true," Lexa said. "I didn't see that. See? You're just as good as I am."
"I really like this, Lex," Clarke sighed contently, relaxing on the soft sheet of green beneath them. "I could get used to this."
"I know, Clarke," Lexa said gently. "I think we all can."
XxX
The day went like a blur for Lexa. She remembered in the past how she would feel that every day seemed to last an eternity, how it was painful to wake up every day, how she just wanted to submerge herself into her dreams as it was her only escape from reality.
Except, now in the Griffin Estate, her dreams seemed to come true. She had never known that someone as kind and pure as Clarke could exist, and the luck that she just happened to be her master was just unbelievable. A part of Lexa told her that it was just God rewarding her for her rather tragic childhood, that she deserved the happiness that she felt nearly constantly now. But aren't all rewards temporary? Lexa hoped that she could get to keep Clarke as her master for an eternity, but she knew that it was unrealistic to hope that. Of course, it was possible, like how her mum's master had kept her all these years, but it was incredibly unlikely.
But then, Clarke was not like all the other masters. Clarke would keep her, right? But then if Clarke's dad decided one day that he no longer wanted Lexa in the house, then would she be sold on? She didn't know if Clarke's dad had the right, as she technically was Clarke's property, but then Mr Griffin did buy her first. So was she in Mr Griffin's name? She didn't know, and she didn't want to think about it anymore. The thing that mattered the most was the present, so she should probably focus on that first.
She kind of lost track of time over the course of today, but all she knew is that as Echo didn't need her help with the chores, it had been more or less a completely free day. Sometimes Lexa would spend her free time with herself, maybe borrowing of Clarke's books to practice her reading, or she would spend her time with Clarke. The blonde seemed to enjoy Lexa's company as much as Lexa enjoyed hers, so that was really pleasing to know. Which is what she's doing now, actually. She was in Clarke's room, flipping through some pages of Clarke's handwriting at the desk. Now that she was able to read, she could understand what Clarke was writing. It was slightly harder to read than a book, for example, as the words were not printed, but she was still able to discern what it was saying. Quite a lot of them were school notes, which Lexa found really interesting, because she had no idea what anything was until she read it. Also, as she rummaged deeper into the pile, she could find some non-school related stuff. As Lexa read through them too, her eyes widened as they were now bordering on personal stuff that Clarke had.
Clarke caught sight of what Lexa was reading and instantly made her way over.
"Um," Clarke said, gently prying the paper out of Lexa's hands. "Maybe that's enough reading for you today. You have done so much today, we can always continue tomorrow. Let's do something else, okay?"
"Yeah, sure," Lexa said, closing the drawer after Clarke had put the sheet in. "What should we do?"
Clarke put her hand on her chin for a while, thinking, looking around the room, until she seemed to have caught sight of something which gave her an idea. "Let's put some music on," she said, walking over to a bookshelf on the far side of the room. She got a box out from the bottom shelf and got out some kind of device, which Lexa guessed was a speaker. Clarke rummaged through the wires a bit until she found the one that she needed, plugging the device into a socket. Then she fetched a device from another shelf on the bookshelf and connected it to the speaker.
Within no time, some music started to play. Lexa had heard some form of music before, but very rarely. Maybe it was in her old master's houses where they would sometimes invite some people over and they would play some music to keep them entertained, or it would come from her mum, who would sing her to sleep when she was little. This is why as she hadn't really listened to any music before, it evoked some kind of warm feeling to rise in her heart, which seemed to swell.
The light went off and Clarke's next words were so quiet that Lexa nearly didn't catch it: "Dance with me."
Clarke was standing in the middle of the room, arms outstretched, inviting. Lexa stared at her for a while, gaping, before her mouth started to regain its function and she was able to talk again. "I-I don't know how," she stuttered.
"Doesn't matter," Clarke said softly, softly swaying her body from side to side. "Come."
There was some kind of atmosphere in the room that was a little difficult to describe. It was calm and serene, and there was also this kind of tension that was just there, almost tangible but not quite. There was this vague feeling that there was this string that connected the two girls together, and now Clarke was just winding the string together, creating this invisible force that pulled Lexa towards her. The lighting was low; Lexa could see the moon outside beaming down on them, huge and bright. Lexa looked back to Clarke, and the side of her face that was facing the window was visible clearly, the other side in the shadow.
With no words being said, Lexa settled herself in Clarke's arms and the blonde swayed the two of them together to the beat of the music.
"See?" Clarke husked, voice barely more than a whisper. "Easy as that," she mumbled as they continued to sway from side to side.
The music was a faint buzz in Lexa's ears: she wasn't really paying much attention to it. All she could see and smell and sense was how close Clarke was to her. They were about the same height, meaning that if Lexa looked straight ahead she could see Clarke's eyes, royal blue under the dim moonlight.
"Feeling more confident?" Clarke said softly as time went on, just them swaying side to side. Lexa didn't really know what Clarke meant, so she didn't say anything, just continued looking at Clarke expectantly.
"When I move my foot forward, you move your foot back, okay?" Clarke breathed. "And when you move your foot forward, I will move my foot back. Got it?"
"Yeah," Lexa said, and Clarke started by moving one step forward. Seeing that Clarke moved her foot forward, Lexa took a step back.
"Good," Clarke said, unable to suppress her smile. "Now we count steps." With that, Clarke guided Lexa so that the brunette took a step forward, and Clarke took a step back.
"Wow," Lexa whispered as the two of them built started to build up a rhythm, just as she vaguely registered the music starting to intensify.
"See? You're a natural," Clarke complimented as they started to move back and forth across the empty space that acted as a dance floor.
This went on for a short while before Lexa suddenly felt a surge of confidence and courage, and as both their hands were still clasped in each other's as they moved to the beat of the music, she let go of one of Clarke's hands and twirled her around in a full circle. Clarke was caught off guard by this, but she spun around with grace nonetheless, and their hands joined back together when she was facing Lexa again.
"Woah," Clarke giggled. "That was smooth, Lex."
"Who knew, huh?" Lexa said, smiling widely, which Clarke reciprocated.
"My turn," Clarke then said, barely giving Lexa enough time to react before the brunette was launched into her own spin. Lexa nearly stumbled with the exertion, but then Clarke's strong hands were around her waist, keeping her upright. Her back was now facing the blonde, and she could feel Clarke's breath on her shoulder.
"I guess this works too," Clarke mumbled into Lexa's ear, and then started to sway the two of them rather vigorously from side to side. Lexa felt some heat start to pool in her face as well as her stomach, but she put those thoughts aside and happily obliged, letting Clarke lead her.
It wasn't until the music changed to a must faster-paced one that Clarke decided to have a bit of fun, lifting Lexa up into the air. Lexa let a squeal come out of her mouth as she felt her feet leave the floor; she was having so much fun, she wasn't going to hold back anymore.
Their feet continued to move in sync, and as the song was drawing to a close Lexa took a misstep so that both her and Clarke stepped forward at the same time, and Lexa stepped right on Clarke's foot, which elicited a yelp from the blonde.
"Sorry," Lexa whispered. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Clarke smiled softly. "You were meant to step back there."
"I know that now," Lexa smiled back. "Does it hurt?"
"Not anymore," Clarke's smile was starting to fade and she bit her lip. The two of them have more or less stopped dancing by now, and were just swaying from side to side. Lexa felt the atmosphere change, from playful and teasing to something different, but to what she wasn't sure.
She saw Clarke's eyes dart all around her face, before setting itself on somewhere below her eyes. Clarke's eyes stayed there for a while, before flickering up again to meet Lexa's deep emerald ones. Clarke's eyes were so beautiful. Under the moonlight, one was a shade of cerulean blue, the other in the shadow was a really deep blue, nearly indigo.
"Lex," Clarke said, voice barely over a whisper. Lexa saw Clarke gulp before the blonde spoke up again. "I have a secret to tell you."
"A secret?" Lexa mumbled, in a bit of a daze.
"Yes," Clarke whispered. "Come closer, please, so that I can tell you."
Lexa did as Clarke instructed, inching a bit closer so that their faces were closer together. But Clarke didn't seem to be satisfied yet.
Lexa saw Clarke's lips move before she heard her next words. "A little closer, Lex."
Lexa did so, tilting her face slightly to one side so that Clarke could whisper into her ear, but before she knew it, one of Clarke's warm hands was on her face and the blonde closed the distance between them.
Lexa's senses were in overload. She didn't register the faint music that was softly buzzing in the background. All she could feel was Clarke's lips pressed onto hers, light as a feather, moving slowly.
It was so slow, and so enjoyable, that Lexa closed her eyes to relish the sensation. She felt a bit of heat pool between her legs as she started to move her own lips too. Truth was, she had never done this before, and she was frightened out of her mind, but just the feel of Clarke all around her, in such an intimate way, was enough to render her fears null.
Clarke pulled back almost too fast, and Lexa opened her eyes again, slowly, still in a bit of a trance. Clarke gasped and clapped her hands over her mouth, almost as if she couldn't believe what she had done, blushing profusely and it was so cute that Lexa suddenly felt a strong desire to close the distance between them again.
"I'm so sorry," Clarke mumbled, stammering. "I-I, um, I just suddenly felt – um, ah –"
Lexa just stared at Clarke who was still struggling to find words to say, and as she didn't want the blonde to die of embarrassment, so she just leaned forward and closed the distance between them again.
Clarke let out a squeak in surprise, but Lexa just put one of her hands behind her head, stroking tendrils of golden hair gently, nipping at her lips softly as Lexa closed her eyes again.
It took a bit of time, but eventually, Clarke got over her shock and started to kiss back, and a moan erupted from one of them – from who, Lexa had no idea, but she didn't care.
It was pure oblivion, Lexa had never felt anything like this before.
When Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa's back and waist, pulling her closer so that their bodies were now flush, the heat between Lexa's legs intensified. Lexa was pretty sure that if she died here and now, she would die the happiest girl on the planet. It was like her life was complete.
After a few moments that seemed to last no time and forever at the same time, Clarke pulled away slightly, resting their foreheads against each other.
"Lex," Clarke's voice was hoarse and filled with awe and wonder.
"Clarke," Lexa parroted, her voice most likely just like Clarke's.
"Did you feel – do you feel that… um…" Clarke faltered.
"That was amazing," Lexa said contently. "I had no idea, Clarke."
"I, um, had wanted to do that for a while now," Clarke admitted, cheeks flushing red. "I just never had the courage to, I guess."
"And thank god you did," Lexa smiled, staring into Clarke's cerulean orbs intensely.
"The thing is, that, um…" Clarke's eyes darted away as she composed herself. "I-I really like you, Lexa. As in, um, more than a friend. I get that you may not be… um… gay, but you are so beautiful, so kind, so amazing, it's impossible for me to not like you."
Clarke being a nervous wreck just made Lexa's heart swell a hundred times over. "I really like you too, Clarke," Lexa admitted, feeling herself blush. "I don't know if I'm… gay or not, but I guess that I've been put off men ever since… you know," Lexa half-joked.
Clarke laughed, nervousness dissipating slightly. "I've never kissed anyone before," she confessed. "I guess I never found the right one before. I keep on feeling like you're the one, you know?"
"And you are the best kisser, like ever, by a long way," Lexa smiled. "You're a natural," she said, quoting Clarke's words from earlier.
Clarke caught on. "I really like kissing you, Lexa. You're amazing."
"You're not so bad yourself," Lexa quipped. Then she remembered something. "Hey, would your dad allow this? Us in a relationship?"
Clarke's smile fell slightly. "Please don't ruin the vibe by mentioning my dad, please?"
"Okay," Lexa smiled apologetically. "I won't," she said, leaning forward for another kiss because she found Clarke so irresistible.
XxX
"You know the thing you asked me earlier, about my dad?" Clarke said as the two of them watched the stars out the window, sitting side by side on the blonde's bed.
"Yes?" Lexa said, recalling what she had asked a while ago.
"I think that um… it's best that if he doesn't know," Clarke sighed, looking down, probably fearing for Lexa's reaction.
"I agree," Lexa said, and Clarke looked up in surprise. "He probably won't approve of us, seeing as I'm a slave and you're not."
"I don't see you as a slave, Lex, you know," Clarke said. "I never have, never will."
"I know," Lexa smiled. "Although I am curious as to one thing," she said.
"What is it?" Clarke asked.
"Why did your dad buy me, if he doesn't approve of this? You know, as I am technically a sex slave," Lexa said.
"I don't think that you're a sex slave," Clarke said genuinely. "It's just that non-consensual sex to slaves are legal, hence that… derogatory term to describe people of your class." Clarke sighed heavily. "My dad doesn't buy slaves for me to have sex with," she mumbled, face grimacing as if she was tasting something sour. "Heck, I didn't even know it was legal until you told me. He buys slaves to keep me company, because I cut off contact with all of my friends ever since my mum got murdered and he thinks that I get lonely, when in fact, I don't. It's his way of fixing the unfixable without putting any effort himself, I guess. I didn't know how lonely I was until I met you, Lexa."
Lexa smiled shyly. "So, um, what did he expect you to do with the slaves that he buys?"
"I don't know," Clarke shrugged. "Probably do chores for me? Act as someone for me to take my anger upon? I genuinely have no idea. Not someone to like as more as a friend, though, I'm pretty sure. These sorts of romances are forbidden, and he will most definitely not approve. Which is why I think that we shouldn't let him know, under any circumstance."
"I cannot agree more," Lexa nodded. "It's okay, though. I'm happy with us being a secret."
"A secret?" Clarke grinned. "I like it."
AN: I hope you enjoyed!
Just wondering, is anyone actually reading this on FF? I get follows, but no one is reviewing so I have no idea.