March 20th, 2020
9
They were leaving New York by Friday morning for real. Mouse had come by with Su the night before. They got as much of Sophia's stuff as he could carry on his flight to Fort Wayne. Plus, he had to take the rest of the toilet paper from Med with him. Both Erin and Mouse had made fun of Jay for fearing to run out of toilet paper. Especially, as there was supposed to be a paper plant in Mercer that produced toilet paper. "I'm supposed to be a jail guard, I won't have time to steal their products!" he'd said with indignation. That had made all of them laugh. It had been good to laugh among friends again. Even for Jay, on whose expanse they laughed.
The tests earlier had cleared them all as expected. They still waited for the antibody results. Those would take some days. Someone was to inform Erin and Jay once they already were in Ohio. But for now, they were cleared. They even opened one of the last bottles Vodka Erin had left over from Svetlana.
Erin was, however, upset not to be able to say goodbye to Svetlana, Maggie, and Omar. But it was supposed to be a mission for only three weeks. They'd be back before they knew it. The more she enjoyed spending some time with her partner. Other than Mouse, Su wouldn't be in Ohio. Her Asian heritage forbid her to be a handler to Erin and Jay in rural Ohio. Erin had realized there really weren't a lot of agents in her department who could go undercover on such a mission. The team had become far too diverse for that. Which left few agents to go undercover in a possible right-wing milieu.
It had been good to see Mouse and Su together. They worked. Erin couldn't remember if she'd ever seen either of them that happy. Although it's been less than a fortnight, you could already see what both of them meant to each other.
She told as much to Jay on their flight to Chicago the next morning. He agreed. "They're really a good fit. I'm happy for Mouse."
"I hope they can stay that way," Erin said lost in thoughts while she was stroking the head of the sleeping Sophia on her lap.
"Why not?" Jay asked.
"We didn't." There was a hint of sadness in her voice.
Jay took some time to answer. "That was different. We were both afraid of sharing our darkness with each other. I'll make sure, Mouse doesn't repeat my mistakes."
"Actually," Erin began but stopped mid-sentence. "It doesn't matter anymore." She said instead.
"What doesn't matter?" Jay asked looking at her directly.
"The darkness you wouldn't, or couldn't share with me, it's the same Mouse carries around with himself, isn't it?"
Jay nodded. "For the most part, yes."
"Why should he be able to get passed this, if you couldn't?"
"Because I already set the worst example how not to handle it. And it cost me a lot." He looked at her and Sophia trying a sad smile. "Too much!"
Erin replied his sad smile and touched his hand. "Well we'll have another three weeks to see what we missed. We'll make this work!"
He nodded, and she let go of his hand again and stroke Sophia's head instead.
When they were waiting for their luggage, Erin's phone beeped. She smiled at the text.
"What is it?" Jay asked.
"Voight is here to pick us up, he says to hurry. Need a ride? Or is Hailey coming to pick you up?"
"Hailey?" Jay asked confused. "No, of course not! She has to work, plus I ask her not to come, not to confuse Sophia."
Erin looked at him irritated. "Why confuse? Sophia likes her." She bit her tongue at the last part.
"Because I thought it wouldn't be good, if we have to play happy family, it might be a bit confusing for a two-year-old to see Daddy kissing another woman."
"Oh, I didn't know, you couldn't restrain yourselves for a bit. Are you like Mouse and Su then?" she winked at him.
"Maybe we could 'restrain' ourselves, but she doesn't have to see Daddy leaving with another woman, that's a stranger to her as well." He looked at Sophia.
Erin almost said something, but then decided differently. "Maybe you are right," she said instead. "I think our luggage is there."
Jay went to grab it. When he came back, he had a thoughtful look on his face. "Sorry, did you say before, Sophia loves Hailey? Or would love Hailey."
"Hailey!" Sophia repeated beaming and kept looking around.
"Sorry, I thought you knew, or Hailey had told you, but you don't, do you?" Erin looked at him carefully.
"Know what, Erin?" he asked her.
Erin were trying to find the right words. "I assumed, when you found out about Sophia, she'd told you. Guess she didn't. I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have said anything." She began to push the stroller towards the exit and felt Jay's hand on her shoulder.
"Hailey told me what?" he asked.
She turned around, "Jay, I'm sorry I really shouldn't have said anything. It was for Hailey to tell you. I just assumed you knew. She'll hate me for this..."
Jay kept staring at her. "For what?"
"She met Sophia when she was in New York. We spend a weekend together at Omar's cabin at the Appalachia's. She really connected with Sophia. I never talked about her father with her, but I assumed, she figured it out. I was actually expecting you on my doorstep in February, but you didn't come or call, so I figured, she hadn't told you, when she got back. But I somehow assumed she would have as soon as you found out." She looked at him in unease. "But I'm sure she had her reasons." Erin shrugged.
Jay stared from Erin to Sophia and back. Hailey had told him about the weekend in the Appalachians, and of her FBI friends, and about the hiking in the snow. But never had she mentioned one of them was Erin or that there had been a kid, his kid. There was another thing that was strange.
"But you hate hiking and being in a cabin in the woods," Jay said to make sure, she'd really been there.
"I did, but that changed over the last years." Erin shrugged. "So, I figure, she did tell you about our trip?"
"She did tell me about the trip. She just somehow must have forgotten to mention you and Sophia," he said with slight anger in his voice.
"She probably had her reasons, didn't want to open your old wounds or so. Plus, I never told her you were the father. I didn't even know the two of you were dating."
"We weren't. We started seeing each other, after she came back." Jay said, still thinking. "I gotta talk to her. Maybe she can clear this up."
"I'm sure she can! We should go now, or Hank is gone again." She started heading for the exit again. This time he followed.
Hank was waiting on the other side of the glass door. He was anxious to see Erin and the little one again, but he hadn't got a lot of time, so he kept looking at his watch, as if they were coming through the door earlier, if he did so. He looked around, other than him almost no one was wearing face masks. He wouldn't, but Erin had urged him to last night at the phone. He really felt ridiculous with that thing on his face. Like a wanna-be doctor.
At that thought, Erin emerged through the door with Sophia in the stroller. Behind her was Jay with the luggage cart, Erin looked pale, as pale as the mask she was wearing. He could make out dark circles under her eyes. She also had lost weight. Halstead looked a bit upset maybe, but Hank wasn't sure. He still had to get used to reading people wearing masks.
Erin had recognized him and waved happily. Then she bent down towards Sophia and pointed at Hank. Sophia began to squeak and tried to open her safety belt. Erin helped her, and off she was in his arms: "Grandpa!" she said happily and kissed him.
"No, Sophia!" Erin shouted and was right next to her cleaning her daughters saliva off Hanks cheek with a disinfectants wipe. Sophia looked at her irritated, while Hank turned away fast.
"Wah! Erin! What's your problem? I thought your tests came back negative?" Hank said a bit disgusted by her action.
"Yes, but, you don't know what she caught in the plane!"
Hank rolled his eyes. He looked at Sophia still in his arms. "Mommy's become a bit crazy, hasn't she? Makes me wear this funny masks and wipes Grandpa like a baby?"
Sophia laughed.
"Hank, this is serious! With your high blood pressure and.."
"If you call me old one more time, kiddo, you can search for a hotel room for the night, in a city almost closed to lockdown." He raised his free index finger and looked at her very strictly.
Erin stared back but lost the contest in the end. She turned to Jay, who clearly was grinning behind his mask.
"He's kind of right, you know? Sophia isn't contagious anymore."
Erin sighted loudly. "No help!"
"Hi Sarge," Jay greeted Hank.
Hank nodded. Sophia pointed at Jay happily. "Daddy!"
"That's your Daddy, is it?" Hank asked her. Sophia nodded and beamed smiling.
"Grandpa!" she said pointing at Hank and looking at Jay.
That was weird for both of them. "Yes, Baby-girl, I know your grandpa." Jay said but didn't dare to look his boss in the eyes.
Voight turned to Erin quickly. "Hey, Kiddo! In for a hug now?" He asked while he let Sophia down.
Erin hadn't planned on fighting Hank the first thing he saw him, thus she nodded, and greeted him as he wished. Hank looked at her critically. "You better?" he asked.
"Yes, much!"
Hank wasn't convinced. "You sure?"
"More or less, like I said, it wasn't fun, and I won't wish it to anyone, but I'm much better!" She hoped, he could make out her smile. "Really!" she tried to convince him when he still studied her critically.
"Let's get you home then," Hank finally said. "I need to get back to the precinct ASAP. Halstead, you wanna join us? I could give you a lift to the station. I think you need to explain your absence to the team, and maybe you should clear out your desk before you leave tomorrow."
Jay looked at Erin. She shrugged.
"If that's fine by you sir, I'd appreciate that."
"Let's go!" Hank demanded, while he picked up Sophia again.
Erin went back to the stroller and Jay to the luggage cart.
It was quiet in the car after they had brought Erin and Sophia to Hanks place. Both men were deep in thoughts.
"Do, how's she really doing?" Voight finally asked Jay.
"As she said, much better, but she was bad, really bad. Two times I was close to calling an ambulance. She just wouldn't stopped coughing and could hardly breath between the coughs. It was bad!" Jay shook his head.
"And now?" Hank continued to ask.
"She's still quite tired, sleeps more than normally, although she tries to hide it. I think, she also still is in pain, when coughing, but she tries to hide that as well."
"Does she eat ok?" Hank stopped at a red light.
"Yes, her appetite is back to normal. She'd loved to exercise again, but her doctor told her to take it slow as long as she's still coughing. She might have some broken ribs from all the coughing. They should heal first."
"You can get broken ribs from coughing?" Hank asked irritated.
"Apparently, if it's a real bad cough. She didn't get an x-ray as the hospitals were quite occupied, but her doctor assumed it might be the reason for her pain in the torso."
"Huh!" Voight grunted while he crossed the now green streetlight. "But she's ok to go on the mission?"
Jay didn't answer immediately. "She has to be, I guess. It shouldn't be too demanding physically for her. We'll see... In any case, I will be there, and make sure she's not overdoing it." He tried to give Hank a reassuring smile.
"Why will you be there?" Hank asked.
"Sir?" Jay asked irritated . „I thought you signed up on this?"
„I did, yes. They told me they needed your profile, and I told them you're only allowed to go, Sophia is out of harm's way, so they offered me to join the mission around Easter. But maybe you can explain me, why Sophia is joining you." Hank said with a demanding voice.
„Believe me we both had to be convinced, that that is really necessary. We need the cover for this as a family. But we actually only agreed, because they assured us, you would be there for the more critical bits of the mission to take care of her. "
„So, they played us!" Voight realized.
„Probably," Jay realized as well. "But Sophia has both her parents with her who are both cops and trained to protect every stranger. Be assured we won't let anything happen to her till you arrive, and then it's your turn to take over."
Voight looked at him unconvinced. „And what about the irritation that Mommy and Daddy play house?" Hank asked sarcastically.
Jay went silent. They had arrived at the precinct.
When Jay followed Voight into the bullpen, his colleagues turned around and looked up from their paperwork.
„Look guys, Daddy's here!" Ruzek exclaimed.
Jay rolled his eyes. He looked out for Hailey. She smiled at him slightly until Atwalker added: „Hey, Halstead, how's the family?"
Jay looked at him irritated, but then decided to not take it too seriously.
But Voight had already disrupted the banter of his younger officers. „Careful, you two. You're actually talking about MY family. And they are not, and never will be something to make fun about up here." He pointed a very stern look first at Ruzek and then at Atwalker.
They both apologized immediately.
Kim was amused at how easy it came to Voight to make those two look like little boys. „Is Erin better?" she asked with earnest worry in her voice.
Jay nodded. „More or less. We're all cleared by the doctors." He turned to the whole group. „Listen guys, I won't be here for the next three weeks at least, but before I leave, I need to inform you on where I'm going, and I preferred no lame jokes on that one!" He looked directly at Ruzek and Atwalker.
Both nodded, still carefully avoiding Voight's looks.
„Erin and I," he tried not to look at Hailey. „We're going on an undercover mission in a more or less rural midwestern community which harbors a right-wing militia. The thing is, for this mission it's helpful to be Jay Halstead, former Chicago Cop, Army Veteran."
„FORMER Chicago Cop?" Atwalker asked irritated.
„Well, the former is part of the cover," Jay started to explain. „We expect the people we are investigating to find out my real name on an army database or something similar easily. Hence, for this mission, it's useful to use largely my true identity. The only thing that's different is that lately I'm fed up with the high crime rate in the city, especially from," he put quotation marks in the air "'the black gangs' raiding this city, and how the liberal government his handling this crisis. I fear for the safety of my family, that's why I move them to the Midwest to work as a jail guard instead."
„You're taking the child with you, man?" Atwalker asked disbelieving.
"To a right-wing militia?" Kim asked shocked.
Atwalker looked at Voight. „You ok with that?"
Voight took a bit to answer. „It's not my call to make, but I am joining them as soon as things might turn to the worse. That means you might work without me for a bit."
„Sophia will be fine!" Jay repeated the mantra Erin and he had repeated over the last 24 hours or so. He really hoped for it to be true. „Those people are not likely to hurt little white kids. And if they even try, Erin and I both know how to protect her."
"Sure, man!" Atwalker admitted.
"I certainly hope so!" Voight grunted.
Jay tried to give him a reassuring look and turned back to the others. "So, that's basically what you need to know. Erin and I got married back in June 2017. You were all invited, except for you Rojas, of course." He nodded towards their newest team member. "By then, Erin had already left the force, because of how she handed the child molester case back in April. As it turned out to begin a new career while being pregnant, she became a housewife instead, and has led such a life ever since."
Ruzek chuckled. "That really sounds like Erin!" he said sarcastically.
"Well, concerning our mission, Erin probably has to put more work in her cover than I do", Jay admitted.
"Can Erin even cook?" Ruzek asked, still amused.
"Oh, no she can't!" Atwalker explained. "Don't you remember, the one time, she still wanted to impress Severide, and brought this awful thing, I think it was supposed to be a pasta-salat, to 51s barbecue?"
"The one that looked like someone's digested it before and smelled like..." Ruzek stopped when he saw Voight's stern look at him. "Anyway, guess you are in for some culinary treats, man!" He winked at Jay.
"I'll probably miss your guy's smack talking." Jay said walking to his desk. "But I'll be back soon."
"If you survive Erin's' cooking, that is." Ruzek couldn't stop himself from saying.
"I'm pretty sure, there are larger risks with this mission than Erin's' cooking," Voight said walking towards his office. "Halstead, you come in for a bit, before you leave?"
Jay nodded as everyone was getting back to doing their jobs.
Just Hailey stayed close to his desk. She had the feeling, he ignored her, that something was wrong. "You ok?" she carefully asked.
He looked at her with an expression she couldn't read. Was he angry?
"We'll see," he just answered.
"We still on for tonight?" She tried a smile.
He just looked at her. "Got a lot to prepare. Could you come by my place after shift?"
"No, problems. Shall I bring anything? Food? Beer?"
„I should still have some beer, which otherwise would go bad over the next weeks. We could order some Pizza. So, no. Just come by."
Hailey nodded and went back to her desk. "I'll text you as soon as I'm off." Something was off with Jay. Did something happen between him and Erin? She really didn't want to be the jealous type. That wasn't her! But something was definitely off...
Jay was still busy packing when Hailey rang his doorbell. He'd just found his old Blackhawks T-Shirt in his closet, the one Erin used to sleep in, and was wondering, if it was a good idea to pack it. He put the shirt next to suitcase and went to answer the door.
„Brought the Pizza!" Hailey smiled behind the boxes. She'd decided to act, as if they were on any normal indoor date night.
„Giovanni's! Great! I didn't know you could still get take-out at restaurants over here!" Jay Smiley delighted.
„Well, Giovanni said, they expect today to be the last day. May I come in?"
„Of course!" Jay took the Pizza from her and gave her a small kiss. After his run this afternoon, he'd decided not to be mad with Hailey before he didn't know her reasoning. It was supposed their last evening together for a while, and the first after a while for that matter, after all.
He brought the pizza in the living room and put it down on the couch table. „Dinner on the couch ok with you?" he asked.
„Sure," she said when she entered the room after she was done washing her hands.
„Make yourself comfortably! I'll grab some beer and napkins." And off he went to the kitchen.
Hailey sat down on the couch and looked around. The door to his bedroom was open and she could make out the open suitcase and the T-Shirt lying next to it. She got up, to get a closer look.
"Not done packing, yet, Halstead?"
He came in and put the beers and napkins on the couch tables before went next to her.
"Nuh, sorry, it's a bit messy. I decided to go for a longer run this afternoon. After all this time indoors, I really needed it."
She turned around. He was close. She put her arms on his shoulder, while he touched her hips. "I understand. It must have been horrible to be locked indoors, for how long?"
"I stopped counting. Ten days maybe?"
She kissed him. "Does that make it better?" she asked with a slightly seductive smile.
He grinned back. "Maybe a bit? I have to try!" And he kissed her back harder. "Could be!" He smiled but distances himself a bit and became more serious. "It wasn't all bad, you know. I got to spend time with Sophia, and that was great!" He smiled again, this time not so much at her than on her. "Let's eat your Pizza, and afterwards I show you some pictures!" He turned around, and she followed him towards the couch.
They ate in silence for a bit.
"This is real good!" Jay said.
"Probably won't get that in rural Ohio!" Hailey winked.
"Probably not," Jay admitted. "But Erin's cooking isn't as bad as the guys said it is. I do remember that awful pasta salad, but she's actually quite good at pizza."
"Sorry, but I really can't picture her as a domestic housewife!" Hailey admitted.
"Yeah, me neither, and I mean, she won't be for most of it. She'll be on a mission using social media to connect with local neighborhood groups."
"Couldn't she have done that from New York?" Hailey asked.
"Yes, but even if the people over there would follow lockdown protocols that'll probably coming to Ohio on Monday as well, which I highly doubt they'll do, they are going to realize if they do have a new neighbor or not."
Jay took a sip of his beer and grabbed his phone, searching for the pictures of Sophia from the last fortnight. Sophia in her new room. Sophia smiling at the camera while climbing the latter to the slide all by himself. Him and Sophia on a couch while he was wearing a mask. He explained the situations to Hailey, although she already knew about the new room.
"That room is really impressive! She's gonna miss it now."
"Yeah, well, there is supposed to be a slide and even a swing in the garden, I think, she'll be fine there."
He looked at another picture of her smiling into the camera. She so much looked like her mom.
"She looks a lot like Erin." Hailey said out loud.
All of a sudden Jay's mood swing. "Yes, but you knew that, didn't you?"
Hailey didn't get what he was on about at first. "Yes, you told me, and like you when she's angry, you said"
"That's not what I meant! You met her! Back in February, and somehow forgot to mention that to me." He looked angry and tried to distance himself from her for a bit.
"Jay, I.." Hailey began.
"Don't you 'Jay' me! Just tell me, why you didn't tell me? Like ever?"
"When did she tell you?" Hailey asked irritated.
"This morning, but she thought I knew, that you would have told me at least after I found out about Sophia. Which isn't that far-fetched, is it?"
"No, it's not." Hailey admitted.
"We talked everyday Hails! And why didn't you tell me in the first place, when you came back from New York."
"I didn't know she was yours! I didn't want to break up old feeling you may or may not still have for Erin. And we were quite busy with other things…" she tried to smile at him, but wouldn't smile back, so she continued. "For me, it looked like she moved on fast. Having a kid and everything."
He just starred at her processing. "But couldn't you do the math?"
"No, I couldn't. I didn't even know when the two of you broke up. And I don't do that kind of math."
He kept staring at her. A bit calmer he asked: "And why didn't you tell me afterwards? The morning I told you about her, for example. Instead, you said, Erin should have 'taken care of that problem'." He said using air quotes.
"You know, I didn't mean it like that, Jay. I did apologize more than once. Somehow... I don't know, I was afraid you'll get angry, like you are now. That I should have known. Maybe I should have. I think she walks like you. But that only became clear to me after you told me, and at that moment, well, what should I have said. 'Oh, I think, I know her? Even met her? Is quite cute?' You had enough on your plate as it was."
Jay didn't know what to say. He had to get up and move. Without speaking he grabbed the empty Pizza boxes and took them to the kitchen.
Hailey followed. She was about to speak again when his phone rang. He got it out of his pocket. "It's Erin, or probably Sophia, we said to talk before she goes to bed. I got to take this." Hailey nodded as she went back to the living room.
She heard him talking. He was obviously great at the "kiddies-talk". Sophia seemed to miss him already, and supposedly had been at the lake today. Jay suggested to go there together, next time, which Sophia seemed to love to do. Hailey also heard Erin, letting Jay know, that she could pick him up in the morning, to which he agreed to.
"Love you, Baby-girl! See you in the morning!" he said, before he hung up.
He came back to the living room smiling.
"How are they doing?" Hailey asked.
"Quite fine, it seems. Had a great day at the lake. Sophia is now going to sleep, and Erin will have one of Voight's' famous steaks. They are to be here in the morning to pick me up."
"Look, Jay, I'm sorry, I haven't told you. You have to believe me, I never wanted to keep her from you! That's actually what Erin did," she reminded him.
Jay swallowed. "Yes, that's what Erin did. And Erin and I still have a lot to mend for Sophia's sake. We are gonna use the next three weeks to do so, but that is actually less of your concern than Erin and mine. So, I'd like to ask you to drop that, and focus on the two of us instead." He looked at her. "I do believe you, that it was a difficult situation for you as well, and that you didn't know when to tell me". He sat down next to her. "I know this situation is difficult for all of us. I wouldn't want to put you through all of this. Sophia changes a lot for me, but I'd hoped it wouldn't for us, but it does somehow, doesn't it?" He looked into her eyes directly.
She sighted. "Well, and there's also her mother, with whom you play house with for at least five weeks?"
"Three," he corrected her.
"You already played house for two weeks," she reminded him.
"That was different, Hails, she was sick, I had to be there."
"I don't say, you shouldn't have, but what comes next? Three weeks as a family, and then? Even if you come back here, and they go back to their life in New York, what about the next time Erin gets sick? Will you jump again?"
"As far as I could tell, Erin, has a stable network for raising Sophia in New York. I mean, you know Omar and Maggie, and there's also Svetlana, her Partner Su and now also Mouse. So, I don't have jump every time, Erin is sick, but of course, I want to be part of my daughter's life."
"How?" Hailey asked.
"Honestly, I, we, haven't figured that out yet. That's why I'm glad, I have another three weeks to get to know her, and Erin again. See what's possible, how we can work this out together."
"Look, Jay. If that's what you want, be a family with them, try that, go there. Not only for this mission, but for ... however long it works out."
He looked at her shocked. "Hailey, that's not what I'm trying to do here, I told you before, I want to stay in Chicago. With you." He looked at her intensely. "I really mean it."
"Jay, I know you think you mean it. But Erin just opened a whole other life for you. One with a family." She touched his cheek. "Jay, we're only dating for a month now, it's far too early to speak about having kids and starting a family now, but I can assure you, you won't have that with me. Not in a few years, not ever."
Jay sat back staring at her. "What do you mean?"
"Look, Jay, I really love my job, and so do you, but for that job, we put our life's at the line every day. I don't want a kid going through what I had to as a child, losing a parent by getting shot."
Jay hugged her. "Then we don't get shot," he said in her hair.
She pulled herself out of his embrace and looked at him. "Jay, you just got shot at the beginning of the year! You nearly didn't make it, and it wasn't the first time!" She reminded him.
"Yes, I did, but I pulled through, and I will again, if I have to. For Sophia, and for any child, we might have one day."
"Jay, you don't understand! I really don't want kids. Never wanted them, ever since my dad got killed at least. I think, they can be cute, Sophia certainly is, but I don't want them." She took a break and then looked back up at him. "I wouldn't even want them if I could have them."
Jay's eyes widened again. "What do you mean, if you could have them?"
Hailey had to make sure she stayed strong, that her voice wasn't trembling. So, she got up, and took some breath. "I'm sorry, Jay, this conversation... Well, it should have happened later in our relationship, but maybe, it's better, if we have it now, then you know, what you'll be in for, if you were in for the long run."
"Hailey!" he stood up, coming closer to her. "I am in for the long run, not matter what!"
She put up her arms. "It's ok, Jay. I don't need a hug or anything. Maybe I should have told you earlier. When I was attacked by these guys," she swallowed hard. "well it left me barren."
His eyes widened and he made a step closer towards her.
"It's really fine, Jay. I mean, the attack wasn't, obviously." She damned the tears that were forming in her eyes but managed to control them. "But, as I said, I never wanted kids, not even before the attack. So that really wasn't the worst of it, for me at least."
She let him hug her. "It's okay," he said. "We'll figured it out." He kissed her crown. "There are other ways to get kids."
She pushed away at that. "You don't want to get it, do you?" she asked more angrily than she'd intended to. "I don't want kids! Not now, not ever! I chose to be a cop ages ago, I want to stay a cop. Maybe become a Sergeant one day. There's no place for a kid in that life."
"Hails," Jay began. "It doesn't have to be an either or. I'd be there as well. We could have each other's back, like we have at the job now."
"That's easy for you to say, you're a guy. You managed to have a daughter without even being there!"
Now it was Jay's time to get angry. "Hey, that wasn't up to me, if I had known, I would have been there, all the way."
Hailey sighted a got a step closer to him again. "I know you would have!" she said quietly touching his arm. "But maybe you should ask yourself, why you would have been there. Out of duty? Because you always wanted a family? Or because you still loved Erin and wanted to build a family with her?"
Jay looked at her. "You sound like Erin." he said after a while. "She said, she was afraid, I would only come back to her out of duty, when she would have told me about the pregnancy."
"We both were your partners for a while, we know you." She tried a weak smile. "Listen Jay, we obviously want different things for our future. I think, it's only sensible to call the quits right here. Maybe it's good, that we found out that early. You need to figure out how to live with Sophia and Erin in the future, and what kind of family you want to have with them. Because, however we look at it, you already have a family with them, even if it's a dysfunctional one. I'm sure the two, the three of you, can figure it out together, how to become more again."
"Hailey, I don't want to break up with you!" Jay said shocked.
"I know, you don't, that's why I break up with you. It's the best, for all of us! You'll see!" She gave him a kiss on his cheek. "Goodbye, Jay! Good luck in Ohio!" With that she turned around got her things and left his apartment.
Jay just stood there for a while, then he grabbed another beer, and went into his bedroom to continue packing. He saw the Blackhawks T-Shirts again. He folded it and put it in the suitcase.