The room was fairly dim, the bedside table didn't throw out much light, and the smartphone Cas was using to scroll through online research provided the rest. He was propped up on what was now his side of the bed, legs stretched out, while Dean fitfully slept on the other. They were both on top of the bedding, but Dean was covered with a blanket. It was only mid-day, and they were both fully dressed. The while daytime/nighttime routine had been shot to hell over the past few days, but Cas felt like a little bit of continuity and routine would help keep Dean anchored. Dean needed the rest and would probably sleep all day, but Cas would make sure there was at least some attempt at dinner and transition to evening and sleep later on.

Looking down at him now, it was easy to see that he was agitated, even in rest. The last half week had been beyond rough. He was pale and his skin was still somewhat clammy although the all-out sweats had finally ceased. His lips were obviously dry from dehydration due to nausea and vomiting, but Cas was hopeful that Dean would be able to tackle some soup and fluids when he woke up.

It had been three days since the videocall with Sam where Dean had agreed to a number of things, including the alcohol withdrawal he was going through now. As tough as that conversation had been, the 24 hours after than had been worse. Dean being, well, Dean had hidden just how bad his drinking had become-which was saying something because everyone knew it was bad. As the alcohol cleared his system the first day and overnight his symptoms got progressively worse- no sleep the first night, headache, nausea and vomiting, restlessness, and anxiety. Cas could literally see Dean coming undone and wished, not for the first time, that his grace had been strong enough to heal. But it wasn't, it was barely keeping him energized and well.

Finally, at about 4:00 am when Dean started to become disoriented and his hands started shaking ever so slightly – he had called Sam for back-up. Sam got on the road immediately, and within the hour, before the sun had even considered rising, the three of them were on the way to the nearest hospital with an open emergency department. Sam drove while Cas sat in the back with Dean, and they made record time.

Thankfully – thankfully Cas had insisted that they accept him as Dean's partner the day before, because once they got to the reception desk in emergency Cas had simply owned the role. No questions asked by staff and poor Sam was the one left in the waiting room initially and doing coffee runs when Cas absolutely refused to leave Dean's side or let go of his hand.

The hospital had kept them there in the emergency department most of the day and into the evening for testing and observation, Cas and Sam were mentally prepping for another long night in those hard plastic chairs when the resident came in. An intelligent looking woman, younger than the rest of them but nonetheless a strong presence in her white lab coat and scrubs.

"Mr. Novak and Mr. Campbell? Is it ok if I call you Cas and Sam? Hi, I'm Dr. Hansen, just taking over from Dr. Kenney who you would have met earlier today. Dean, how are you feeling right now?"

"Like shit."

"Fair enough, do you know where you are?"

"Hospital."

"Does anything hurt?"

"Those lights and the sound of your voice is giving me a damn headache."

Dr Hansen chuckled; Dean wasn't the first grumpy patient she'd seen today nor would he be the last. She took it in stride.

"Can you hold out your hands for me please?" Dean did and they were noticeably trembling. "OK thanks, you can put them down."

She walked around to the side of the bed so he could face all three of them.

"Ok Dean, I have a few things to tell you and then we are going to let you go home ok? First of all, your family brought you in just in time, another hour or so and you would have been having seizures. Withdrawal from alcohol can be series, even fatal for heavy drinkers. You are very fortunate to have such an excellent support system watching out for you. We did an ECG earlier to check your heart for rhythm issues can sometimes happen in cases like these, but you are fine. Miraculously your liver seems fairly good as well. We gave you some diazepam this morning, which is why you were able to rest throughout the day and it additionally reduced the risk of developing those seizures. I think as far as severe effects go, so long as you take the diazepam for another few days, you should be in the clear. If your partner – Cas, feels comfortable taking care of you and your medication for a few more days I think you can go home and sleep in your own bed tonight. How about that?"

"You heard the doctor, get me my clothes Sammy."

"Hold on, I'm not done Dean. Just a few more things."

"Yeah story of my life lately, hit me with it."

"I'm sorry what?"

"Sorry Doc, everyone's had a lecture for me this week. I just meant go ahead."

She smiled at that and pulled a paper out of her lab coat pocket.

"OK Dean, I'll try to make it quick and kind. You are here because you have a drinking problem and it appears that you want to stop. Is that correct?"

"Yes." Dean looked down avoiding everyone's eyes and focused on Cas' hand holding his, the hand that had barely let go of him all day.

"Good, I know that was hard for you, you should be proud of yourself for taking that first step. It's important for you to know that you can overcome this and have a good life, but it will always be work. However, you strike me as someone who isn't afraid of a little challenge."

This time it was Sam's turn to chuckle, if the doctor only knew. She pressed on.

"Clearly the odds are in your favor looking at Cas and Sam here, not all of my patients are so lucky. Just the same though, they can't keep you from drinking, only you can. And you can't do it alone, so here is a list of local sobriety groups you can look into when you are feeling better. I would also recommend that for the most success, you might want to see a counsellor who can help you understand how your drinking became so serious and identify changes you can make moving forward. A list of local counselors is on the other side of the paper, no referral needed you just call." She handed the sheet to Dean who eyed it warily but still accepted it.

"Finally, before I sign the discharge paperwork, let me say that I think physically you'll get through the next part Dean. You are going to feel terrible for a few days yet, and it could take a while for those hand tremors to go away, but eventually they will. If, however, you don't feel right, come back straight away. And really, consider getting a family doctor at some point, there is no record of you in our system and I'm guessing you are at least a decade overdue for a proper medical exam." Turning to smile brightly at Cas and Sam she added: "OK gentleman, are you ready to take your patient home? Here's a script for the medication, if you don't have any more questions the waiting room is filling up and I'll be off to my next patient."

No questions, Dean got his clothes and they were back on the road with only a brief trip to the 24 hour pharmacy before heading home. The drive back to the bunker was mostly quiet, Dean and Cas still in the back seat, only now at least the tension had ratcheted down while Dean dozed leaning in Cas' shoulder. The quiet gave Sam a chance to talk to Cas while he drove, the roads were dead and there was a light drizzle slowing them down only slightly.

"So, ah, what happens next Cas?"

"Take us back to the bunker, after we get Dean inside you can head back to Eileen's."

"Don't you want my help?"

Sam couldn't see it, but he could almost feel Cas tilt his head to one side while considering the offer. They drove in silence for a moment, with only the wiper blades for punctuation.

"Honestly Sam, I'd rather you didn't."

That hurt a little bit, it had been hard watching Cas take his place at the hospital and now it felt like Cas was pushing him out again. He tried to hide it in his voice but didn't do a good job. "But what about food, you can't cook, and the medication. What if Dean gets worse and you need to go back to the hospital? He's my brother and we always take care of each other."

More silence.

"I am sorry Sam, I did not mean to hurt your feelings. That is not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?"

"Did you mean it when you told me that you wanted to build a life with Eileen?"

"Yes, bu-"

"Do you think Eileen will always want to be second to Dean? Do you think that would be healthy for your relationship?"

"Well no bu-"

"Dean is my world Sam. This is it for me. I literally watched Pangea separate and the world as you know it form. All of it, every experience in my very long life pulling me forward to here, finally, to your brother. I want you to experience the same, to have the freedom to follow your heart, but you can't do that if you are tied to Dean 24 hours a day. Trust me Sam, I'm trying to help. I think that both of you will be able to have healthier relationships with each other and with Eileen and myself if you both create a little bit of...space for them to grow."

Sam chewed on his lip for a moment, considering how he felt about that.

"It hurt my feelings a little bit today to be pushed off to the side while you got to stay with Dean at first."

"I know."

"But if Eileen were sick I'd want to be the one by her side and nobody else."

"Exactly."

"Promise to call if you need my help?"

"Always."

"Hey Cas?"

"Yes?"

"Did you really watch Pangea separate?"

Watching Dean now, two days later and back in their room at the bunker, Cas couldn't resist the urge to reach out and brush his check while he slept. Despite everything Cas had said and done, taking responsibility to get Dean from there to here, advocating at the hospital and setting up healthy boundaries with Sam, he still considered being right here, right now, with Dean, a minor miracle. It had been so long and so hard to get here, and now it was like a switch had flipped and everything changed.

Dean had slowly been coming awake, and at reached up to grab his hand, turning his head to kiss the palm and then bringing them both down to rest on his chest. Too sleepy to open his eyes.

"Hey Cas, still here?"

"Right here."

"Not leaving?"

"Not leaving."

"I'm tired"

"I know, rest, I'll be here when you wake up."

"Favour?"

"Anything."

"I'm cold, warm me up." Pulling the hand that he was already holding against his chest, Dean rolled onto his side leaving Cas no option but to move with him down the bed and onto his side as well, essentially becoming big spoon to Dean's little spoon. "That's better thanks."

Dean sighed contentedly and started drifted back downwards into sleep again.

"Hey Cas?"

"Yes Dean?"

"Love you."

"I love you too Dean."