The tiger received a tingling sensation that ran up his neck. As he faintly heard a voice, he tried to recall what he was dreaming about. He tried slipping back into it, the back of his mind being the only place that recalled the dimming voice. Although he couldn't recall what the dream was about, instincts suggested it was something rather... pleasant.
His comfortable state of sleep attempted to overpower his will to open his eyes. He felt so warm. So relaxed. His breathing was so rhythmically matched with something else.
I could just lay here forever... and ever.
His thoughts were cut short to a feeling running up his face. He flinched and batted a paw before creaking his eyes open to see her there, belly atop him, smiling a gleaming promise towards another day.
Just as quickly, seeing her there brought back the memory of her twin. The dilemma he found himself faced with.
I can't tell her. I can't hurt her.
The worry on her face only let the tiger know she felt the uneasiness on his face and in his posture.
"Diego..." she began as she rested her chin on his chest, "What's wrong?" She asked in such a way where it seemed she wouldn't get upset no matter what he told her. As if she was promising that.
The tiger only shook his head as he looked away, sliding out of her embrace and facing away from her.
"I can't tell you." He managed to say. He was almost certain she'd respond with a typical Why not?, but she didn't.
Shira... please. I... I can't. He choked on the hurt that resided in him with the war he battled with himself. The anger. The frustration. So much from his past. So much from the present.
"Well..." she began, lifting herself up and stretching her limbs, "if you're not gonna tell me, then I guess I'll just-
Her words were killed off as Diego pulled her back, gripping around her, paws finding every curve and lips recognizing every taste.
"I don't... want... to keep anything... from you." He muffled between their lips, gripping the back of her neck with his other paw around her back, grasping onto everything he had left.
Minutes went by with the two sabers simply looking each other over. Pure attention to one another. Eyes admiring the other's.
"So... can you teach me how to swim?" She seemed to ask out of the blue. Although, Diego recalled she asked that the previous night.
"You really want swimming lessons? Didn't we go for a swim yesterday?" The tiger questioned, tilting his head.
"I was holding on to you the whole time, remember?"
"Well then, I suppose..."
Diego spent that morning racing the silver tigress down the mountain, through the forest and across the shorelines. To the lack of his surprise, she wasn't easy to keep up with. Either her eagerness to get to the water was apparent, or she really wanted to impress him. Or both.
Eventually, they tired out and lay on the sand, watching the sunrise.
The tiger took the first step into the sea. Inches later, the ground left them as they were left floating at the surface.
As she kicked and paddled her struggles, Diego helped her stay afloat. His paws lifted under her belly as his hind legs did twice the work they normally had to.
"Think you got the hang of it?"
"Maybe." She struggled to say between breaths, an uncertain smile on her face.
"Lets see." He murmured as he released his grasp on her, making sure she wasn't going to sink like a rock.
It truly came off as a shock to the tiger seeing her stay afloat with her own movement. Minutes went by with the two circling each other, pawing and splashing one another until they tired out and let the waves push them to shore.
As they lay on the sand, waves snuggling their way around their pelts, Diego still had a hard time feeling relaxed. Any time he looked at her, he got reminded of what he found in that blizzard.
It was truly upsetting seeing his whole world be a negative impact on himself. Until something happened, he knew it was going to stay that way.
And he still chose to stay silent as they got up, Shira seemingly agitated by his reserved state of thought
as of late.
I don't know Shira. I want to tell you. But... I'm not letting me. And I'm not sure I even know why.
Sand slowly turned to snow as they walked together. Anywhere, really. Diego just hoped it could help him open up to what he was holding in. Fortunately... and unfortunately, he wouldn't have to do that at all.
Further through the snow, Shira was constantly observing her surroundings to an unusual extent.
"Something wrong?" Diego asked, noticing the uneasy movement in her.
Not like she's been asking me the same thing all day.
Her head turned to him.
"No. It's just that... I feel like I've been here before."
"Deja vu?" He tilted his head.
"I don't think so..." she walked off, eyeing the cliffside to their left. Diego noticed all the snow that piled up underneath it as if it collapsed on itself like an avalanche.
As he was thinking, he heard her trip beside him. The position he found her in nearly had him chuckle as her chin smacked into the snow and her legs dangled above.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." She groaned as she uncurled herself and got up, bending and cracking her neck.
"What the heck did I just..." she began as she looked behind her, not seeing anything as the snow was nearly knee deep.
Out of curiosity, she crawled a few inches back, pawing away at the snow.
The tiger stood a few feet back behind her, trying to catch what it was she was digging out. It was only a few seconds more before she stopped.
He expected her to get up and let him see what it was, but she didn't. She just sat there, head down at whatever it was. The tiger scurried around her to see something that mentally paralyzed him.
She tugged the paw out, a body following with it as the snow powdered off it like water. She was left there covering her paw in shock. Quiet laughs began to break her down. Her trembling brought her lower.
Diego could only stand there, still as the avalanche's aftermath. He scratched his head of uncertainty.
"I'm... really sorry, Shira. No one should have to go through this. I wish there was something I could do... but...
His attempt to seem inconspicuous seized to a halt as Shira bent down, her nose close to the body. Slowly, her head lifted to him, eyes glaring, almost questioning.
"Your scent is all over her." She spoke.
Silence alluded. His heart stopped. His mouth trembled.
"I... didn't...
Not an answer flew by his head to use. He knew he couldn't just insist it was something else she was smelling. She knew him far too well.
"You're not suggesting I had anything to do with this, are you?"
Shira didn't answer. She only glared at him for a few seconds more before turning her head to the corpse. She held the paw briefly, checking for any chance of a pulse. Just as quickly, she dropped it, the tiger noticing the gritting in her teeth.
"You lost her in that blizzard. In that avalanche. What's that have to do with me?" The tiger pressed on.
Still no answer. Her back faced him where she sat. Diego could see the tension in her limbs. Every muscle in her body. Her breathing became audible.
Again, the frustration got to him as he reached a paw and tried pulling her around. But she fought and tugged back. The bite she gave to his shoulder brought out a hiss.
Diego whimpered in pain and backed off. Already, thoughts of regret flooded inside. Frustration from trying to make every right choice. Thoughts entered about the previous night. What they did. What they showed. How meaningful it was then. How meaningless it was now.
"I found her there yesterday." He started to speak, trembling between every other word, "I was fighting so hard to tell you. Please. Please understand that."
She just sat there, shoulders hunched up, the winter's breath swaying her season's coat.
"Diego. You just don't know. You don't know what it's like at all. That's why you kept this from me." She responded, a bit calmer now. She still sat there with her paws on her sister's body. Just then, the skies echoed thunder, with light rainfall following.
"I only kept this from you because... I didn't want to hurt you." Diego spoke with sincerity.
"But you were perfectly willing to hide one of the most important aspects of my life from me... all out of some sort of... act of compassion?"
"...Yes." He answered truthfully in his words. He didn't want to lie to her. Not again.
Shira got up and turned to him, "What were you really trying to do? Were you wanting to tell me... or were you trying to keep it from me?"
"I hadn't figured that out, yet..." he said truthfully.
"After everything we did... I just can't..." she looked down, paws tightening, "I just don't know if I should trust you anymore." She finished, breaking down with tears.
"Shira... I... I'm not perfect. I just-
"Please. Just... leave me alone." She pawed in his face before turning and leaving.
"Shira..." his mouth tried tugging a smile, his mind struggling to come to terms with this current reality. Yet, as he tried getting her to look at him, she only turned her head away, wanting nothing to do with him.
"I'm sorry." He murmured.
She stopped for a second, getting the tiger to think she'd accept it. But all she did was glance back.
"Sorry doesn't mean anything anymore." She stabbed back, eyes like daggers. The tiger swallowed as much emotion as he could.
"Well, I am. I'm sorry..." his blood boiled as his mentality was on the verge of snapping.
She scoffed at him as she walked off.
"Sorry I wasn't good enough for you!" The tiger growled, getting her to turn her head in annoyance.
"Fuck you."
She was only able to turn her head half way before she felt herself forced and pinned to the ground. He didn't want her to leave. He didn't want to lose her.
"I don't deserve this! I didn't do anything wrong, Shira!" He growled at her, grasping her head, forcing her to look at him. But all he could see was hate. Nothing else seemed to appear on her.
She only grunted and hissed in return. Soon, the sounded emotions grew louder with every bite. With every cut. With every scream.
He kept pleading. He begged her to understand. The cold and the rain hid the sadness in his eyes. So forcefully, he hugged every curve of her body, locking his limbs as tightly as possible. All the while, he kept repeating the only thing his mind would still process.
"I love you so much, Shira. I love you so much."
Every bite and scratch she gave him only increased his strength to hold on. Every jolt she tried to get away resulted in the same locked position.
I'm not letting her go. I promised. Not until she understands. She has to.
The pain he had suffered from her eventually took a toll as he roared in agony. He felt blood puddle up beneath his pelt. Sticky and uncomfortable. Yet, regardless of what she did, the love he felt never changed. That flame would never die.
Maybe... I'm the one that doesn't understand. The way she's acting. How quickly she snapped.
So suddenly, his frustration turned to himself.
Maybe I'm the problem.
And just like that, his limbs went loose as she broke out of him. Her whole body plowed into the snow as she lay there and whimpered. Crying soon after. And the tiger could only take so much at the realization that he caused all of it. For a solid couple of minutes, neither said anything.
"I think I understand..." he spoke, lifting himself off the bloodied mess below him. Ignoring the stings. Ignoring everything his mind went crazy over.
"I know I'm not good enough for you. I'm the problem. Whenever there's an obvious choice to make, I always pick the wrong fucking one."
Looking up at her, the hate on her face was still there, but pity also crept it's way in.
"That's why all these terrible things keep happening and...
As his mind wandered through his lips, he swore he could see a look of pleading in her eyes. Like she didn't want this to happen. She still loved him.
"I'm not sorry for anything. For caring. For saving. For loving you!" He growled out before turning and walking away. As he did, there was still a small part of him that still wanted to hear her speak up. To feel her run against him and show him what he wanted to feel.
But that didn't happen. He knew it wouldn't.
Sorry doesn't mean anything, anyways...