Now

I shouldn't have slept with him, Max thought, I just wanted to have sex and I could hae gotten that anywhere. Kenny. I always do this. I always screw it up. John would have been fine if I hadn't kissed him that night. I'd be fine. I won't destroy Kenny too.

"Max?"

She looked up from her paperwork. "I need to finish this."

Cold, Kenny thought, standoffish. She lights up with her kids, she was so warm and happy with Littleton, even when they were concentrating on their baby. "I want to talk to you."

"About?"

"You know."

"You know what it was as well as I do. I also got the birth control implant, so we don't have to worry about that."

"I wasn't worried about that."

"Then I need to get back to work."

"Let me buy you a beer tonight."

"I can't. Kara and Ava have swim lessons and then homework."

She's really freezing me out now. She shut a lot down after he died. "Max, come on."

She looked up at him again. "I got what I needed last night. I don't need anything else. Can you just leave me alone?"

3 Years Ago

I'll do anything for them, Max thought, curled up in bed feeding Ava, with Kara pressed to her side. I'll keep them safe and loved, John.

"Max?" Kara said. "Max, can I call you Mommy?"

Max stroked her hair with her free hand. Oh, this sweet girl. She's lost too much and… "I'd really like that."

"Mommy," Kara stated. "Don't go away, Mommy."

Now

"Kenny, seriously?" Max sighed, as he followed her into the break room and shut the door. "Can I get a coffee in peace?"

"Max, will you just talk to me?"

"If you're going to start following me around, we're going to have a problem."

Noelle, he thought who basically stalked her, he thought, who shot her, me...killed Littleton. She did make it quick last night...got what she needed? "We work together."

"Kenny," she said patiently, pouring her coffee. "I work full time, I have two kids, and I'm not looking for anything or anyone. The sex was great. If you want to do it again sometime, I'm in. I don't have anything else to give."

"Bullshit. I saw you with Littleton. I see you with your kids. You can't stay shut off like this. You deserve more."

"I don't want more."

"Is that what Littleton would want?"

She glared at him for a long moment. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"You don't know what either of us wanted."

"I know how much he loved you. It isn't your fault."

"Stop."

"And that you loved him.

I made him wait, I held back, he made me be okay. I wanted to marry him, be a family, a wife, and that's all gone. I can't do it again. "Leave me alone."

"You're not broken. You don't destroy everything. Noelle did this."

Max flinched at her name. "What do you want from me?"

I'm not sure, he thought, always an attraction with her. Even when she was with Noelle and Littleton, I love watching her with her daughters, there is a spark of the Max I know in there. "Dinner, let's hang out like we used to."

I'll ruin him too. I'll hurt him. He'll hate me. "Fine. One dinner."

3 Years Ago

"Kara is calling you Mommy?"

Max took a long drink of her coffee. "Yeah."

"The three of you," Jill said. "You're doing good?"

I barely sleep four hours a night, Max thought, I roll over and reach for John. We were barely a couple, we were getting married and… "Yeah. We have a routine and...Kara doesn't cry herself to sleep anymore, even if she crawls into bed with me most nights."

"And you?"

I need to be okay for Ava and Kara. "It's not about me."

"I know you're hurting."

My heart is shattered. John deserved better. "I'm fine...and this one needs a diaper change. Excuse me."

Now

"Wait, what?" Max asked, staring at Jimmy and her heart dropping to her knees. "No...she killed...no."

"Do you want to sit?"

She shook her head. "A technicality? She killed John. She shot Kenny. There are witnesses, evidence...no. She can't. No."

She shot you too, Jimmy thought, you had Ava two months early. "Max, I am so sorry."

Do not cry. Do not fall apart. She ruined my life, took away...she broke me. I'm so damaged I can't even… "Is she coming here? I need to...file restraining orders. Move. I can't...No."

"Max, hold on."

"No. If she's coming here...no."

"She's coming here."

"She murdered John."

"I know."

I'm going to be sick. "Because of me."

"Max?" Jimmy asked, as she sat down and buried her face in her hands. "We can try her again."

Kara saw it. My kids lost their father. I lost the man I loved. For what? No… "I need to go."

"Max, wait."

She shook her head and stood up. "When?"

"She's out, Max."

She gulped. "I need a few days. I'm going to take my kids to see their grandmother."

3 Years Ago

"Tell Max I love her," Noelle smiled. "That we'll see each other soon."

John is dead, Jimmy thought, Kenny is recovering from being shot and Max is in shock. "You won't."

Noelle sighed and shook her head. "Max and I love each other. She's happy with what I did for us. You'll see.

Now

I really need John, Max thought, he'd talk me down, he'd be rational and pragmatic. She took him from me. She took him from Kara and Ava.

"Mom?"

Max forced herself to stay calm and smiled at her seven-year-old. "What's up?"

Kara hugged her tightly. "Mom, are you sad?"

Max squeezed her tightly. "Nah."

"Do we have to go to Grandma's house?"

I want to leave the country, Max thought, change our names and vanish...and I can't do that to Maggie. She trusts me. "She misses you. I think she needs one of your great hugs...and I could really go for one of those amazing pies she always makes."

Kara giggled. "You make good pies too. And tacos. Can we have ice cream?"

"Ah, you're buttering me up?"

"Please, Mom."

"Yeah...how about with chocolate sauce and whip cream too?" Max smiled. Oh, those eyes of hers, so much like John's, I'll die to keep Noelle away from her and Ava. I'm okay. "And a cookie in there?"

"Yea!"

"And then you need to read for school. Deal?"

"Deal Mom."

3 Years Ago

"Soon, Baby," Noelle sighed, looking at the smuggled picture of the two of them. "I'm coming home to you soon. No one will keep us apart now.

Now

"You shouldn't be here," Max said, loading the suitcase in her jeep. "We're leaving in a few minutes."

"Then try answering your phone," Kenny said. "Forget everything else about you and me. Are you okay?"

"No. Not even close. Kara doesn't know."

"You don't run."

"For my kids, I will. They've been through enough. Kara never knew her mom, she barely remembers John, and I'm...I'd do anything for them. And she shot you too. You should stay away from me."

"Hi, Kenny!" Kara called, running toward them. "Mom, can I bring this too?"

"I think he'll need a seatbelt," Max sighed, looking at the giant stuffed penguin. "Last one, Kara."

"Thanks, Mom. Is Kenny coming too?"

I want to protect her, he thought, and she'd balk. "Nah, I have to work. I'd love to come hang out with the three of you when you get back though."

"And we need to get going," Max said, slamming the trunk. "And you're blocking me in."

I want to shake her, Kenny thought, no, kiss her again. She'd kill me if I did that in front of Kara. "Let me know when you get there. It's a long drive."

Now

Perfect, Noelle thought, smoothing the sheets. Just perfect for the two of us again. She's been waiting for me. She doesn't need those kids anymore. We'll be fine here together. Max just has to realize that.

Now

"Kenny?" Max called, annoyed that his car was still blocking her in after locking her house and getting her kids. "Come on, this isn't funny."

"Mommy?" Ava said, tugging her hand. "What's that?"

Max felt her heart stop, as she saw Kenny's legs sticking out from the bushes. Pulling Kara and Ava closer, she wished she had her gun. No… We're out in the open. Throwing the door open to her jeep, she buckled them inside and locked the doors. Feeling Kenny's pulse, she let out a sigh of relief. "Kenny? Hey, it's me. You're okay."

"Run," he groaned. "Max, run."

She shook her head and dialed. "I'm not leaving you."

"Hello, Honey."

"You Bitch!" Max screamed before she could think better off it and she tackled Noelle to the ground. "I fucking hate you!"

"Max!" Noelle cried. "I love you!"

She landed a solid punch. "You murdered John! How dare you come here….I hate you!"

"Oh, Honey," Noelle sighed, stabbing her with the needle. "You just need to remember."

"What the hell?" Max asked, feeling woozy. "No."

"Oh, yes," Noelle sighed, wiping her bloody nose. "I love you so much. We'll be together forever."

The Station

"I want Mom," Kara sobbed. "She killed Daddy! She's going to kill Mom! I want my mom!"

Kara Littleton who has lost too much, Jimmy thought, and Max has been an amazing mother to her and Ava. She's devoted to her kids and Noelle… "Tell me about her car, Kara."

"I want Mom! Find my mom!"

Max & Noelle

I'm in hell, Max thought, I can't move. What did she do to me?

"Oh, you're awake," Noelle sighed, patting her cheek. "Don't try to move, you can't. Let me."

Drugged, Max thought, as Noelle sat her up and folded her hands so they were in her lap.

"Just perfect. Just how I pictured you these last three years," Noelle said. "Oh, Max, just look at you."

She couldn't flinch as she looked at her made up reflection, curled hair, and pink eyelet dress. I can't move, I'm a mannequin she can dress up and play with. I'm what she always wanted me to be now.

"Now Honey, this isn't permanent," Noelle continued. "I don't want to keep drugging you, but your tantrum earlier? You need to accept what you are. You love me as much as I love you.

You murdered the love of my life.

Noelle kissed her deeply and slid her hands up her thighs. "I know you can feel everything I'm doing to you, Honey. You like this?"

I hate you, Max thought, I'm not your toy doll. My kids...where are my kids? John's kids.

"It's just you and me now, Max. None of them will bother us again."

Max felt Noelle pushing her back on the bed and opening her legs. I'll kill her. I can't move, but I'll kill her for this.

The Station

"She injected Max too," Kenny said, as the paralytic wore off. "I just heard her screaming, I couldn't move and...Max really fought her."

"Of course she did," Jimmy said, looking at her traumatized children with Jill. All she wanted was to give them a good life. "We'll find her."

Max & Noelle

Noelle adjusted her lingerie and applied fresh gloss to her lips. "There. Perfect, Honey."

A sex doll, Max thought, in his pink frilly negilee, on my knees, waiting for her on this bed. I'm so sorry Kara and Ava...my babies.. Maybe this is what I deserve. A prisoner of my own bad choices. I love them both so much...no...I can't abandon them. Kara lost so much, Ava is only three...I'm not some sex toy.

"I want to hear your voice," Noelle continued, kissing her again. "The drugs are just temporary, Honey."

Cuffing me, Max thought, my arms above my head as she lays me back down. Drugs wearing off? Stop touching me. Get off me.

"Oh, I love you like this, Honey," Noelle smiled. "Mine. All mine."

The Station

"She had a cabin. We thought she was there, after Littleton was shot."

Jimmy shook his head. "It burned down, the whole area went up in flames last year."

Kenny sat back. DOn't think about what we just did, what I want to do again and Max shrugging it off. Her crazy ex...she's got to be terrified. She'll fight, she always fights. "She just got out of prison, there can't be...she had it planned. She didn't even wait 24 hours to do this. The drugs?"

"It's a version of ketamine. She dropped the syringe."

"And her kids?"

"They're staying with me and Jill tonight. Maggie Littleton is on her way."

Max & Noelle

Noelle wiped the drool from Max's chin. "There we go, Honey. Swallow."

Max glared at her, her body tingling as feeling came back to it. She's probably drugging me again. "Uh, ah…"

"Oh, you're adorable," Noelle sighed, kissing her again. "Even with your oatmeal breath. Don't try to talk yet. I'm going to take care of you. You don't want another shot? Let me take care of you. Love you."

I'll slit your throat, Max thought, I'll enjoy watching you bleed out.

"There," Noelle said, wiping her mouth and looking at her. "Oh, Max, you're so pretty when you smile."

Max glowered on the inside as Noelle manipulated her face muscles into a smile and painted her lips again.

"You will always smile with me, Honey. It's one of our new rules to keep you off the shots," Noelle continued. "Number two? You will let me dress and groom you as I see fit. You know how lovely you look when I do. Number three? You will pleasure me as I pleasure you. I hope we wont need restraints soon. I want you to enjoy yourself. Number four? You will accept yourself and us again. You won't be afraid to be who you are. You won't fight me."

I want to go home. I want my kids. Not to be her toy. She'll kill me. Or keep me in this paralyzed state and...I'll be okay if Ava and Kara are. Maggie will…

Noelle laid her back down and wrapped herself around her. "Isn't this perfect, Honey?"

The Station

"Her car was abandoned by an airstrip."

We'll find her. I won't give up on her.

Noelle & Max

"My kids?" Max gasped, as her vocal cords worked. "Are they okay?"

Noelle sighed and shook her head. "No, Max, no. That's not what you're supposed to say to me."

Max flinched as she pulled out another syringe. "No… Please no."

"You need to learn."

"I will."

Noelle stroked her hair. "Tell me."

I hate you, Max thought, you destroyed everything I loved. "I love you, Noelle."

"Your kids won't come between us. They're gone, Max," Noelle said. "Nothing is between us now."

Max stared at her in horror. "No!"

"Oh, yes, Honey," Noelle sighed, "It's just you and me now."

"You fucking bitch!' Max screamed, her slow and sluggish body stumbling and she fell. "I'll fucking kill you!"

"Oh, Honey," Noelle sighed, injecting her again. "You won't. You belong to me. Now rest. We have the rest of our lives to get this right."

I'll kill you, Max thought groggily, if it takes me the rest of my life, I'll kill you.

TBC