1x05

Michelle normally really liked her job.

Really, she did.

But today?

Today she wasn't exactly a fan of it.

Especially not after being in an ambulance crash.

And especially not after being admitted to the hospital for sulfate poisoning.

So when she heard a knock at her door she said a silent prayer that it was Owen.

It wasn't, it was Carlos.

And while he would do, he wasn't who she wanted to see right then and there.

She needed to see Owen.

They needed to talk.

And they needed to talk now.

"Hey Chica." She offered her best friend the best smile she could manage. "Can I come in?"

"You better." She honestly just wanted some company right now.

"Doctors said that they were gonna keep you here for a few days for observation." That was definitely not what she wanted to hear.

"Oh great." She really just wanted to go home and sleep, in her bed, or Owen's, it didn't really matter right now.

"So I brought you some clothes," Thank God for Carlos. "a couple Harry Potters, and some peanut butter M&Ms."

He really knew the way to her heart.

"My hero." And that he was.

He had been looking out for her as long as she could remember.

"They're saying they still don't know what caused your guy to become a human WMD." She figured they wouldn't figure it out right away.

"I think I might." But she was pretty sure she was right about this one. "Me."

Carlos looked at her like she was crazy and she almost believed him for a minute.

"The signs were in front of me the whole time." And yet, she had ignored them. "Some arthritis medicines are sulfide-based. They have a sort of a garlicky smell."

She had done her research once upon a time.

She was never a good student, medical school just not in her future like it was for Iris.

But she enjoyed reading for fun and sometimes she read about the craziest stuff.

"When we put him on O2 and used the defibrillators, we must have triggered some sort of a chemical reaction that converted the sulfide to sulfates." Carlos was still looking at her crazy and she knew it sounded bizarre, but it was possible. "And basically… I created a poison cloud inside of the guy."

It was her fault and she knew it.

And now she felt like a moron.

"How were you supposed to know any of that?" Carlos was sweet, but really.

She should have known the signs.

It was part of her job.

"Because it's my job to." That's what she was trained for, to notice things like this. "I've been so wrong about so many things. I can't start to be wrong on the job too."

Not when it could harm other people.

Not when it could harm her own friends.

"Why do I feel like we're not talking about toxic guy anymore?" If he knew her any better it would be terrifying. "Is this about Iris?"

Of course it was about Iris.

It was always about Iris.

"She was going through something Carlos and I couldn't see it." Except, she did see it, she just didn't put up a fight or push for her to get help. "Or I chose not to."

That was probably more like it.

She didn't want to believe that anything was wrong with her sister, she couldn't.

"My sister had secrets." Didn't they all?

But Iris' secrets may have cost her her life.

And judging by the look on Carlos' face, he realized it too.

"I found this in my mom's shed the night of the tornado." She whispered as she held the picture out to him.

She held out hope that maybe he would recognize the people in the photo.

That maybe they were people they had known in school.

"The blue pick up truck." But it didn't sound like it.

"A blue pick up truck." She wanted it to be the same one that Iris had driven away in that night.

She wanted this to be the clue that she needed.

But everything felt so jumbled lately that she knew better than to hold out hope for that.

"I don't recognize any of those faces." She had tried to rack her brain, tried to match them to other pictures Iris had, but she'd had no luck.

"But maybe it's something to go on." Always the optimist that Carlos. "I'll look into it."

She knew she kept him around for something.

"Thank you." She whispered, smiling back at him as he smiled, taking her hand in his gently.

"You're welcome." He whispered back, squeezing her hand tightly. "Can I get you anything else?"

"No." She shook her head softly as she leaned back against the pillow.

"Okay." He let go of her hand and reached out to pat her shoulder. "I'm gonna let you get some rest."

He stepped back and was making his way toward the door before she let out a sigh.

"Wait!" She had to tell someone and Carlos was honestly the only person that she trusted.

"Ooookay…" He turned around and offered her a raised eyebrow. "What's wrong?"

She let out a sigh as she knocked her head back against her pillow a few times.

Fuck this was going to be hard to say.

"I'm pregnant." Well, there it was.

The first time she had uttered the words since the nurse had told her four hours ago that despite the sulfate poisoning, her baby was okay.

A baby that she didn't know she was carrying.

"Oh…" He looked shocked.

In fact, he looked beyond shocked.

And Michelle bit her lip as she tried to gather her thoughts.

"Wh… how…?" Oh for Christ's sake Carlos. "I mean… I know… how how… but…?"

"It's Owen's." Just rip the bandaid off right then and there why don't you?

"I figured as much." He reached out and closed the door to her room before walking back toward the bed. "What happened?"

"Well Carlos, when two people are physically attracted to each other…" He swatted at her arm and gave her a look.

"Shush. I know the biology, I have nieces and nephews, I'm not stupid." She never said he was. "But, I thought you two were being careful."

"We were!" Well sort of. "Until that one time we weren't…"

"Oh for fuck's sake Michelle." To be honest, she echoed his complaint.

She couldn't believe they had been so stupid.

"It was a heated moment. We didn't even think about it." She closed her eyes as her mind flashed back to the moment in the shower a few weeks ago. "It wasn't that long ago but I guess when your body knows, it knows."

It had been less than a month, but she knew that was all it took.

"Does Owen know?" Carlos looked so concerned and it was sweet, really sweet.

"No." She shook her head as she opened her eyes back up. "Hell, I didn't know until 4 hours ago."

"What?" Yeah, yeah that was the way this day was going.

"When the doctor was going over my blood work." Carlos raised an eyebrow and she sighed. "She told me that I looked fine but that they wanted to keep me for observation. She then added in that it didn't appear to affect my pregnancy any."

"And what did you say?" She hadn't said anything.

She had been too shocked to reply.

"Nothing." Carlos shook his head at her response. "I was shocked."

"You had no idea?" She mirrored his head shake. "No indications? No symptoms? Nothing?"

"Nothing." And it was the damn truth.

She hadn't felt the need to pee excessively or throw up every five minutes.

She hadn't been craving peanut butter covered pickles or anything strange.

In fact, she had felt more normal the past two months than she had in a while.

"Are you sure you're pregnant then?" No, she wasn't 100% sure.

"The doctor was looking at my blood work Carlos!" Okay, so maybe shouting at him wasn't the best response.

He was just trying to be helpful.

"Did they do any scans?" She had thought it was odd that they hadn't.

"No. She told me to call my doctor and schedule a follow up once I'm out of here." Which she would definitely be doing.

Hopefully for her to tell her that she wasn't actually pregnant.

She couldn't fathom having a kid right now.

And with Owen?

Well he would lose his shit for sure.

"You need to tell Owen." No, no she didn't.

Not until she had 100% confirmation that there was a baby in her stomach.

"Not until I know for sure Carlos." She could feel herself starting to panic. "He… this…"

"Michelle." Carlos reached out and cupped her face between his hands. "You need to tell him."

She let out a huff as she closed her eyes.

This was so not happening right now.

"I'll think about it." Actually, she had thought about it.

And she couldn't tell him.

He would run away, she knew it.

And while they were nothing more than just fuck buddies right now, it would hurt too much to lose him.

He was her friend before he was anything else.

And she couldn't imagine her life without him in it.

"I'm sending him this way when he gets off shift." She shook her head back and forth. "You decide."

She had decided.

"But you need to tell him." Goddammit Carlos, shut up. "Because if you are pregnant… you're gonna need him around."

"I can do this alone." Well, no, actually she couldn't.

"Nice try Chica." She hated how well he knew her. "But that's a line of bull and we both know it."

"Yeah." She whispered as she hung her head.

"I'm gonna leave you to sleep." He leaned forward then and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Call me if you need me, you hear?"

"I will." And she would.

In fact, she'd probably text him about a million times that night so she hoped he didn't have any plans.

And then he was leaving, offering her a little wave as he made his way out the door, shutting it behind him softly.

She was so not looking forward to how the next 24 hours were going to go.

—

The next morning, she wasn't shocked when she heard an all to familiar knock on her hospital room door.

"Come in." She knew damn well who it was, but that didn't make it any better.

Actually, that might have made it worse.

"Hey you." Owen stepped through the door, a soft smile on his face as he held up a small bouquet of flowers. "I wasn't sure if coffee was allowed, but I brought some of that too."

She saw the coffee carrier in his other hand and let out a sigh of relief.

She was going to need all the liquid courage she could get if she was going to do this.

"Thank you." She barely got the words out, her throat having gone dry at the thought of telling Owen that she was pregnant.

"You're welcome." He kicked the door shut with his foot before moving toward her. "Carlos said you like daisies so…"

She was going to kill Carlos.

Best-friend be damned.

"I do." She hoped that Carlos had told him to buy her flowers, because that was just embarrassing.

"Don't worry, he didn't make me buy them." Owen Strand was a goddamn mind reader and she hated it. "I called him and asked. It's been a while since I've bought flowers for a lady."

She couldn't help but giggle softly at the way he said it.

"Well they're beautiful. Thank you." She meant it too.

It had been years since someone other than Carlos had given her flowers.

And she was secretly a very big fan of receiving them.

"He told me you were feeling kinda crummy still," He set the vase down on the table beside her bed before handing her a coffee, "so I won't stay long."

"It's okay." She took a few sips before looking up, her eyes locking with his as she swallowed. "I um… I need to talk to you about something anyway."

"Oh okay." He didn't look concerned or scared or even worried, but he did look confused. "Is everything okay? Is this about the accident?"

She shook her head 'no' before reaching out to set the coffee cup down.

Better to not have anything in her hands when she said this.

"I'm pregnant." She had planned a whole speech and everything, but unfortunately, her mind just kind of went there.

"Oh." He cocked his head to the side and gave her a look that said he didn't really know what to think.

"It's yours, I promise." She tried to act like it wasn't a big deal, but this was actually killing her.

"I know." The fact that he didn't even think for a second that it was someone else's made her heart seize up a little. "I wouldn't have thought otherwise."

Well that's good.

Especially considering he had almost slept with another woman not to long ago.

"I know this is a shock…" Shock was an understatement, she certainly wasn't expecting this to happen. "I didn't even know this could happen…"

She had had plenty of unprotected sex in her day and there had never been a pregnancy scare before.

"It's okay." He reached out and took her hand in his. "How did…? I mean… you didn't know did you? Before you came to the hospital yesterday?"

He was good, too good.

"No. I didn't know." Which is why she still had her doubts. "They told me yesterday after they got my blood work back. I made an appointment with my doctor for Friday."

"Okay." He nodded his head as he took a deep breath. "Well, I'll go with you."

"No." She hadn't meant to react that way but this was certainly not something she had seen coming and she wanted to at least make sure of things first.

"Okay." He held his free hand up in defense and she sighed.

"I'm sorry." She shook her head as she tried to ground herself.

She hated this feeling.

This feeling of uncertainty.

Of being so torn.

It wasn't like her.

"It's okay. I get it." And the fact that he was being so goddamn supportive was really throwing her for a loop.

"You don't get it!" Great, now she was screaming at him and all he wanted to do was help her.

But he didn't respond, he didn't get mad and scream back, or even get up and leave.

Instead he squeezed her hand and offered her a soft smile.

They stayed that way for at least fifteen minutes, his hand holding hers gently as he rubbed his thumb along her fingers.

She tried to hold back her tears but it didn't work.

And the next thing she knew she was crying her eyes out like some kind of child.

But instead of running away like she expected, Owen pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, his hand rubbing up and down her back as he pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

"This had better not be sign that my damn hormones are out of whack." She whispered her pathetic attempt at a joke and Owen just pressed a kiss to her ear in response.

"I think this is a sign that you're tired. And stressed." He pulled back a little and reached up to wipe the tears off her face. "And probably not just physically. I would guess mentally and emotionally too."

She nodded her head as she swallowed and blinked a few times, trying to rid the tears from her eyes.

"I'm gonna let you try and sleep okay?" She really didn't want him to leave.

"But…" She could feel herself starting to get worked up and she slammed her head back against the pillow when she heard her monitor go off, indicating her blood pressure was rising and her heart was racing.

"Well now they're gonna kick me out because they're gonna think it's my fault." He cast a glance at her monitor and grabbed her hand in his again, squeezing it tightly as a nurse came through the door.

And sure enough, the nurse kicked Owen out.

But not before he could press a kiss to her lips.

"It's gonna be okay." He whispered as he squeezed her hand before standing. "Text me after you get some sleep."

She nodded her head as her eyes filled up with tears once more.

And then she watched as another nurse ushered him into the hallway.

She guessed she wouldn't be getting any more visitors until she was out of here.