"It's so hard to keep this smile from my face

Losing control, yeah I'm all over the place

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right

Here I am, stuck in the middle with you"

Stuck in the Middle with You, Stealers Wheel

Shepard fussed with the hood of her sweatshirt that hung loose about her slim frame. The Upper Wards spread out like four gargantuan flower petals, each one crammed with skyscrapers and the occasional spot of green. As the taxi's altitude increased, passing from one Ward to the other, buildings at first shrank down to toy size. They shrank further still, until the city looked like so many circuit boards gleaming silver in the Citadel's eternal daylight. The cab jerked from one lane to the other, and Shepard found herself hoping the ride would soon be over. He certainly has an interesting style of driving, she thought as she stole a look at the man in command of the car. They rotated, descending onto a different arm of the megastructure and within a few moments the cab levelled off, easing into one of the many grid patterns formed by the constant traffic. The city became a blur of grey and glass as they sped by much faster than she'd gone on Illium. I wonder where it is I'm headed? Joker didn't really say. Just said not to dress up. Now that's a request I can handle. I can't imagine anything more daunting than trying to look good after the day I've had. Neon and plasma signs glistened harshly against dark silhouettes of buildings as the taxi glided down to street level. Soon, the outlines of trees came into view as the car slowed to pull up next to a kerb where several others were parked in a line.

"Right here, missus," the driver said, slinging his elbow over the headrest of his seat as he turned to look at her. She tapped her Omnitool to a small metal square he presented her, and his eyes narrowed. "Ain't I seen you before?" he asked.

"You might have," she replied with a friendly nod. "I get around. Thanks for the ride, sir."

Grunt lumbered out of the back seat and leaned back, looking up at the colossal skyscrapers before he passed her the crutches. She tucked them under her arms and swung her way over to one of several colourful bushes, something she remembered from Joker's description. True to his word, she found a broad path that cut a clean arc through the trees, and she set off down it. It wasn't long before she rounded a corner and saw him some yards off, sitting on a bench with his hands in his jacket pockets as he overlooked an artificial lake. Shepard looked behind her, and wherever Grunt had gone, he was well out of sight. As she drew nearer to the bench, Joker must have heard the clicking of the metal on cobbles as he turned to look. Sitting down next to him, Shepard looked him up and down.

"You don't even take that off when you're off duty?" she asked, gesturing to his black and white ballcap.

"This? Nah. It suits me." He fished around and passed her a blue bag with an unfamiliar atom logo. "So, I wasn't kidding when I said not fancy. Wanted to get one of these for ages."

"Takeout?"

"Yeah. So we could, you know, enjoy this scenic vista right here. Gotta admit, I'm disappointed. I was expecting ducks, you know like you always see in the vids of Earth? But this is just a square hole in the ground with some water in it," he said, and shrugged.

"Well, there's a willow tree and some flowers. It makes a nice change to see something green," she said as she unwrapped the food. She felt herself smile upon recognising what he'd brought. "How very classic of you. I don't think I've actually had a burger in years."

"Yep. Honest-to-god dead cow, just like I told you I wanted to get. Only a few places do it now. I figured you might be in the mood for something, uh, unpretentious after a day with the blowhards."

"You're definitely right about that. I think I lack a civilised palate," she said. She bit into it and a dollop of ketchup squished out onto her hand. Shepard wasn't fussy when hungry and just licked it off. It was good. Such a stark change from the carefully prepared, preserved, and sometimes strange meals on the Normandy. It reminded her of days long gone, before she'd enlisted, before she'd ever left Earth. Interesting how a smell or a taste can take you back in time like that.

"I'd say your palate is definitely civilised if you prefer that over two pieces of parsley and a slice of pan-fried air for dinner." He shook his head. "So. Do I even wanna know?" He lifted the brim of his cap and looked over at her with the kind of smile that said he already knew something about what he was going to ask. "How was the Council?"

"Oh, you know," she said in between swallowing mouthfuls. "We're all used to it by now. Save the universe yourself, because we're too busy to care."

"That well, huh?"

She stared off into the little square lake. "It's not arguments over mining rights or a tax reform. According to them, it's just those wacky naked monkeys whining because their colonies are being abducted. Asari, salarians and turians aren't being affected, so from their perspective it's a purely human affair, and why get involved in that? The lives of millions of innocents just aren't compelling enough, I suppose," she fumed. It felt good to unload. "If it was turian or salarian colonies, the Council would launch a full-scale investigation and send fleets out to protect them. And you know what? I'd be right out there with them, on the front lines."

Joker moved up the bench to sit a little closer. "Yep. I know you would."

"Oh but the best part is that they don't even believe the Reapers are real. They took what happened on their own doorstep, filed it away and decided it wasn't worth making a fuss over. They took yours and mine and everybody else's sacrifices and just threw them to the wind. People died here to protect this place and in return, the Council makes up some story about how Saren was the real threat," she said, glowering.

He leaned back and followed her gaze out to the water. "I'm not one to second-guess your decisions, but sometimes I wonder what it would've been like with a different Council. You know what I mean?"

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose. "Yes. I know exactly what you mean, unfortunately. I find myself wondering that sometimes as well. I'm not proud of it, but it's true." She breathed in deep and exhaled slowly as she opened her eyes to watch the ripples on the surface of the lake. "I really don't regret the decisions I've made, even if they sometimes frustrate me."

"Pfft. You'd think they'd have listened. The last time they ignored you, a giant robot landed in their backyard and blew up in their faces."

"Oh, don't worry," she said with a roll of her eyes. "They reinstated my Spectre status as a show of good faith. All I can do is hope that means that maybe, someday they'll help us."

"Yeah, well. Excuse me if I don't hold my breath," he muttered, looking up towards the Presidium.

She gave him a grim smile before she looked back out at the water. They were both quiet for a few moments as they ate. Shepard picked at the bits that had fallen out onto her wrapper. "I don't think I've ever seen you out of uniform before," she said. "I like the bomber jacket thing you have going on."

"Ah, yeah it's pretty ancient. It was my dad's," he said and looked down at the well-worn brown leather.

"Yeah? I don't have anything of my dad's. Where'd you grow up?"

Joker balled up his wrapper and threw it into the bag before picking up a piece of foil, folding it. "I was born in the Saint Thomas Sector, on Arcturus Station. Grew up there with my mom and sister mainly. Dad was KIA in the First Contact War."

"I'm sorry."

"Eh, don't be. He was always running off doing whatever for the Alliance and then he died. Didn't know him very well, but mom says he was a smart-ass like me." Joker frowned looking at the lake. "Man, I can't believe there are no ducks," he said. "I brought bread and everything. Ah well. This'll have to do." He lifted up the foil, now folded to look like a bird, and pulled on its tail to make its wings twitch.

"Ducks or no ducks, I'm happy to just spend some time with you," she said. He closed the gap between them, and the movement jostled her leg, making it twinge. She rubbed at the top of her calf with her knuckles. "This itches like crazy."

"Yeah, I hear you. I was like that for almost all of last year. I had tons of surgeries all around the same time. They weren't fun. They replaced a few of my smaller bones with straight up fakes and wove fibers around the rest. I can move around a lot easier now though."

"So I've noticed," she said.

"So… you know. I never really asked. You're sure that whole thing doesn't, uh… bother you?" he asked.

"What whole thing? You mean your Vrolik's Syndrome?"

"It's kinda hard to miss about me."

"No," Shepard said as she picked up the little foil bird and fiddled with it, curling the wings around her fingers. "I'm aware that it's there, but It's never been a factor in the way that I think about you."

"Okay. Just checking," he said with a nod. Joker and Shepard both watched as a young couple walked by them on the path. Totally absorbed in each other, they were physically wound around one another as they went. They looked happy, and Shepard casually tracked them as they continued on.

"It's been a long time for you since being involved with someone?" she asked.

"It… you could say that, yeah," he said.

She looked back at him. Their eyes met and Shepard thought she saw a little colour come to his cheeks.

"Maybe you remember me saying? But because of all that, my little black book doesn't, ah… have entries in it. I've never been willing to risk it. Too busy or too careful. So, this is all new, and, uh. Yeah."

"I see," she said. One of her hands found its way up to the nape of his neck, her fingertips brushing up and down his skin. He lowered his head at her touch to give her better access, and the look in his eyes became a little glazed and unfocussed. She chuckled. "It's a bit magic, that spot," she said.

"Mmm, uh-huh," he murmured through a soft smile in response.

Shepard closed her eyes. The scent of flowers and grass was thick in the air, water lapping against the edge of the pathway filled her ears, and the warmth of him sitting next to her and melting under her touch just completed the sensory picture. After a moment, she let her hand drop down to rest across his shoulders. If I could stay right here, like this, I would. "Thanks for suggesting this," she said.

"Eh, I had to come off the ship sometime."

"Yeah. Speaking of the ship, I wanted to tell you something, and I think it's important for you to hear." She straightened up, placing her hands on her lap. "I'm not… quite sure what's going on here, between you and I…"

"I mean, what do you want to be going on?"

"That's just it," she said and looked down into her lap. "It can't be my call. In other parts of our lives, I expect to tell you to fly, and for you to ask me how high… but not on this. I wanted to tell you that if you decided to walk away from this for any reason, I won't let it bite you in the ass." She jutted her jaw, trying to think of how best to phrase herself. "I'm not… ignorant. My position is always going to affect anything like this, and there's very good reasons behind why getting friendly with your superior officer is… looked down upon, shall we say." Shepard looked off to the side and touched her hand to the back of her neck. "I'm… maybe a little more familiar with that than I should be."

He gave her a long look. "Lonely at the top, huh? Well, if you're putting me in charge… I know what I want, at least," he said, and drew her into a kiss. It was the kind she could have lost herself in, and when she broke away, she embraced him.

"I hope we both live to find out what this is," she said, staving off feeling the weight of the world by holding him. It felt good to admit, just once, to somebody, that she wasn't certain they would. "I really do, because I'm sure there's nothing I want more."

"Heh, hey, don't talk like that," he said. Something in the tone of his voice made her throat tighten and her chest ache with a tenderness she couldn't afford to name. "I mean, hey," he continued. "You might not make it out in one piece," he said as he gestured to her leg, "but you'll make it out."

"Comforting," she said, and refused to let go just yet.

"Are you kidding? I'm the most comforting guy around," he replied. "That's because I'm a realist. The point is, you'll kick ass and come out of it on the other side. That's the important part."

"Yeah," she said.

"Besides," he added quietly, after a long pause. "I'm scared, too. You'd be stupid if you weren't."

Shepard stared up through the thin atmosphere and out towards the stars, just visible behind the swirling clouds that surrounded the Citadel like a veil of safety. "You ever get those moments where you just feel really small?"

"Nah. Can't relate. I'm larger than life. And so are you."

Despite herself, she smiled as she lay her head back on the wooden slats of the bench, catching glimpses of tiny, misshapen dots far above that she knew to be ships. "I guess there's a silver lining, though."

"Oh?"

"I could be sitting here alone, but I'm not," she said, and rolled her head to the side to look at him.

"That's the spirit. You could not be on this bench at all. Besides. It's not like you're alone or whatever," he said and shrugged. "Everyone has your back. Blowhards excluded, but, you know. Everybody else. And I should know, too… I listen in on their conversations," he said with a mischievous smile.

"Joker."

"What? Long hours in that cockpit. It's like a soap opera that never takes an hour off. Anyway, the point is, we're all with you. Especially me, and seeing as how I'm flying the ship, it's basically impossible to fail," he said, and gave her shoulder a squeeze. "Sooner or later, we'll find something that will help us take 'em out, and whatever it is, it'll be in a big way. I've seen you throw a punch. You hit hard."

"Ah, yes. Punching. The galactic problem solver."

"Well if you ever get sick of it, you could always go back to ground school. Learn how to be my wingman," he said with a smile and shrugged. "You know, when the coming war is over. Which it will be. Not sure you should bunk off right now, though."

"Hmm. Only if I can get a callsign I like." She picked up his hand, tracing his palm with her thumb. "The last one wasn't a crowd pleaser, I'll just say."

"Nobody likes their callsign, Shepard."

"Yeah, but… Okay. Here we go." She took in a deep breath through her nose. "So the reason why there's not a whole lot of information on my stint in ground school is because most of the records were expunged. I'm guessing you found that out when you had a little look-see in my file, huh?"

"I didn't look in your file," he said, paying rapt attention. "Extranet, actually. But, uh. Expunged records? Did you fly a shuttle into a school bus or something?"

"So, I was doing alright. Bonding with the squad and all. One night I won six games of Blackjack in a row, so they called me Dealer's Choice after that."

"I'm gonna be honest Shepard, I've heard a lot worse. Hell, mine is worse."

"That's only half the story. Pen your pyjaks," she said. "So, you remember when I told you I was a little bit of a troubled kid? The fresh-faced cadet version wasn't much different…" She paused and turned to look him in the eye, poking him in the chest with her finger. "Joker, you had better take this to your grave."

"It's totally gonna go in your tell-all."

"Anyway. I had this, uh, tendency which I can only describe as being deeply unfortunate, and that was to kind of look for love in all the wrong places."

"Ya don't say? I think that's a prerequisite for ground school."

"Right, well, the Flight Instructor and I -"

"Oh no," he said, and sucked air in through his teeth.

"Oh yeah. So, he told me he was going to leave his wife for me, he was going to take me away from all this and we'd fly off into some… grand future, or something," she said, gesticulating with her hand in a dismissive wave. "I can't remember the words, now. It was a long time ago. I was eighteen and unloved, so it sounded like a good idea." She closed her eyes and smiled with embarrassment. "Anyway. Scuttlebutt got out, and my callsign got changed."

"To?" he asked, his shoulders tensing with anticipation.

"Teacher's Choice."

"Oh."

She let out a long sigh. "It's fine, you can laugh."

"No, it, uh. It's not that. You're Teacher's Choice?" he asked in disbelief.

She opened her eyes and looked at him. "What do you mean by that?"

"Expunging the records doesn't do much where it comes to unofficial sources. I mean… There was some guy on the extranet who told that story, said he wouldn't identify the cadet 'cause she was part of his squad and the instructor was still working. Everyone thought he was full of it." He shook his head. "I hang around a lot of the little back corners where pilots post and stuff."

"Great. So, I decided I couldn't stay. But, I'm not a quitter. I decided if I was going to quit, I was going to quit up. So I applied for N7 Candidacy," she said. "Flight Instructor didn't stop me. Had the good grace to put in a recommendation, even. So… That's the story of why I'm on this bench."

"Joker and Dealer's Choice, huh?" He mused aloud. "I heard those two are real cards."

"No."

"They got dealt such a rough hand," he said and smiled.

"Stop."

"One's a flying ace, and the other knows when to hold 'em." His grin grew wider.

"Ugh," she groaned. She reached over and plucked his cap off.

"I hope you like asari scale lice," he said. She ignored him and fanned herself with it.

"Do you even know how you get asari scale lice?" she asked. "You have to be an asari."

"My secret's been revealed at last," he said, and looked relieved when she put it back on his head.

She lifted up the little foil bird. "I am going to keep this, though."

"Uh, sure? I can make you one that doesn't have mustard on it, if you want."

"There's no mustard on it. This one's good." She smiled as she put it in her pocket.

"You wanna stay here a while and pretend there's ducks some more? We could still throw the bread. Then when people ask, we can say there's invisible ones."

Shepard looped her arm through his and lay her head on his shoulder. "Depending on who sees, they might think it's some kind of human custom, and then before you know it everyone's throwing bread in the ponds." She laughed, visualising the Keepers wading out with nets to pick up all the soggy bread. "So… if we're talking about after the war, what do you want to do?"

"I wanna do whatever keeps me flying," he replied as he tried his own hand at tracing his fingers up and down the back of her neck. "I know I belong up there. Pretty sure you do, too, one way or another."

"I hadn't given much thought to the idea until now. After the war seems like such a nebulous concept given that it hasn't really started yet. But it makes sense to think about it like that." She tilted her head as she gave the idea some thought. "I guess I can't imagine myself ever stopping. What does it mean when people stop, anyway…? Sit around? Raise kids?" Shepard shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know the first thing about either of those."

He snickered. "Well Shepard, when a man and a woman love each other very much -"

"Don't make me take your hat again," she said. "Anyway. You're probably right. I think I belong up there, too." Together, they looked back up at the ships drawing so many lines through the thin layer of white clouds that the Citadel held so close.

After a time, he stretched his arms in front of him, cracking his knuckles. "How are you at walking right now?" he asked.

"Is there anything to see around here?" she asked, giving her leg a tentative stretch.

"I dunno, but let's go find out. I mean, if we don't find out within the next five hundred yards, we'll probably both die, but we can at least say we tried." He stood up, and a flash of bemusement crossed his features before he took her hand to help her to her feet. "Heh. I guess it's the lame leading the lame."

She put the crutches under her arms. For once, it was Joker who was waiting up on her. In the time since getting the cast she had figured out a good technique, and was soon keeping up. It felt good to move. She missed doing push ups before her morning shower, making unnecessary trips all around the decks without thinking about it. Hell, she missed just walking briskly, but as the days went by it was easier, she had to admit.

"I think this will come off soon, and I'll get that brace."

"Upgrade. Just, when you do, don't pull a me and immediately put yourself back in crutches because getting to walk was so great. I did that twice."

Perhaps it was her imagination, but he really did seem to be walking just a little straighter. Joker always had this odd shamble to his gait that came from the way he tried to minimise the time he spent balanced on just one foot during each step. He held his right shoulder up as a kind of counterweight to what she assumed was some kind of reduction in control of his left leg, but his posture looked more even as of late. He checked over his shoulder to make sure she was still following along.

"You'll never guess who I've just seen up ahead," he said, and nodded towards a quaint little shop with a yellow awning. Grunt's hulking shape sat at a wrought iron table, his bulk making it look miniscule. Even at this distance she could see his grin as he spread butter on a tiny round thing - a tea cake, she surmised. He looked up and saw them, and Shepard felt herself laugh softly as Grunt looked about, conflicted. She watched as the gears turned in his head. Stay hidden? Or tea cake?

"What's with him?" asked Joker.

"Oh. He was a little worried about me going off the ship, so I told him he could come along if he just stayed out of sight."

"Krogan chaperone, huh? Let's go annoy him. I could go for a coffee and he won't headbutt me if you're here."

"You're the boss," she said, and turned up the little side street that headed up to the door.

The smile he gave her was halfway between a smirk and something rather salacious. "Yeah, you're right. I am."

"I've created a monster," she said under her breath, just loud enough for him to catch.

"Oh, you have no idea," he said as he pulled the door open and held it for her.

She met his eyes as she passed through. "I had no idea you were such a shameless flirt, I'll give you that."

"I'm a man of many talents. Shameless and otherwise," he said, and tapped on the bill of his cap.

"Perhaps I'll be the judge of that," she said coolly. Her comment had the intended effect, it seemed, as he cleared his throat and looked away from her toward the menu at the far wall. She continued on past tables full of patrons. The familiar, yet unpleasant sensation of eyeballs tracking her as she moved made her look around out of the corners of her eyes. I'll never get used to being a public figure, really, she thought as she approached Grunt's little table. These people don't seem to recognise who I am though, which is good… News about that won't be widespread yet. I think they're just looking at the crutches.

An asari in an apron and carrying a tray of samples wound her way through the crowded café tables. As Shepard drew near, the waitress turned around. Her face fell and her glare was like ice.

"Sorry, Ma'am. I mean to get past you, my friend is over there." Shepard felt a slight flush creep across her cheeks as she looked from the asari towards Grunt, her path to his table blocked. What did I do? Is there some custom I'm not aware of? She wondered as the periwinkle woman's expression darkened, her lip curling into a sneer.

"Samples! Hey, thanks!" Joker exclaimed as he shifted around from behind Shepard and plucked one of the sweet pastries off the tray. He wobbled a little when he reached her, which made her step back half a pace. "Oop, bad legs y'see. Nice, nice. I'll just take one extra for my buddy in the armour over there, huh? I bet he'd love one of these." He ushered Shepard on ahead. She noticed as he gave the waitress an appreciative nod. He hung back until she reached the table.

"Hey, Grunt," Shepard said as she eased herself down into one of the chairs. "How's the tea cakes?"

"Dry on their own, but good with jam," he said, closing his eyes as he nodded towards three empty jars to the side. "I like tea. Dr Chakwas said I should try some. I understand it now." He tilted his head, narrowing his eyes at her as he huffed the air. "You smell different."

"Uh," she replied with a bemused chuckle. "I do?" She shot Joker a questioning look, but he wasn't paying attention, eyeing the long line of customers at the counter and the asari with the sample tray instead.

"Hmm," said Grunt as he picked up another cake. "Less adrenaline. Not as sharp. Did you get bored of being alone with Joker? Is that why you're here?"

"No," she said and smiled. "The opposite. I'm relaxed, I think."

"You think?" Grunt echoed. "You don't know?" She had to laugh as he picked up a teacup, dwarfed in his huge, three-fingered hands.

"I think it's safe to say we won't be getting any table service," muttered Joker, still staring back into the building.

"What was her problem, I wonder?"

"She recognised you," he said. "That was more than your standard disdain for humanity. She's not part of the fan club for whatever reason."

Grunt paused in the middle of buttering another scone. "There's a club?"

"Didn't you know? Yeah, I'm the President," said Joker as he popped the pastry square into his mouth.

"Huh. Well, I want to be Vice President," said Grunt with a grin.

"I dunno," replied Joker with a sceptical shrug. "That's a lotta responsibility."

"Hold on. You're serious?" Laughed Shepard.

Joker looked at her as he chewed his pastry. "You have a pretty big, uh…" he trailed off, his eyes flicking upwards as he searched for the word. "Following on the extranet, yeah. I'm just kidding, though… Sort of," he said as he picked up the second pastry bit. "Some guy called VernerAfterburner is the President."

"Oh." Grunt huffed.

"That is… Hm," she thought aloud. "I remember what fan communities were like on the extranet when I was a kid. You seem pretty familiar with it, are you signed up?"

"I've looked at it once or twice. I like to keep track of the rumours. Sometimes I think they know where we're going before we know."

Picking a scone off Grunt's plate, she buttered it herself. "About how much of the community revolves around that one time I did a bathing suit pinup for the Alliance Annual Calendar when I was twenty?"

Joker coughed. "I, uh. No clue. But that definitely sounds like something I'm gonna find out."

"Why were you in a bathing suit for that?" Grunt asked. "Humans look much better in armour."

"What, you're telling me krogan don't like to look at women showing themselves off?" Asked Joker with a sly smile.

"Yes. But krogan women show off their potential as capable warriors and mothers with how strong they are. Without armour, you look vulnerable. Especially humans. So soft all over." Grunt shook his head. "If you see stuff like that and the people don't have at least most of their armour on, then it wasn't made for us."

"That… actually explains a lot," mused Shepard. She sat back in her chair and touched her hand to her chin, thinking about certain avenues of extranet content that she had spent some time examining on occasion in the past. "I never thought about that part of it being so anthropocentric before."

"So… uh, what?" Asked Grunt, blinking.

"Human-focussed," she said. "I guess I've always thought all the species prefer seeing what's underneath."

"Oh. Yeah. You humans sure seem to like looking at it that way."

"So… then most of what's out there with your people is actually made by other species, then," she puzzled aloud. "You learn something new every day."

"I'll say." Joker said and cocked his eyebrow. "Not that I'm doubting you, but how are you privy to that little metric?"

"The same way you are." She answered as she leaned on the table. She looked over at Grunt. "Anything left in that teapot?"

"I will get more." Grunt stood up from the table.

"Hey, uh, coffee for me instead? Also maybe don't order it from that asari. She might spit in it."

"Uh-huh," Grunt said over his shoulder.

As they both watched him duck under the doorway, she felt Joker's hand on her knee under the table. He slid his palm a little more than halfway up her thigh. "The same way I'm privy to that, huh?"

"I don't think I stuttered. Did I?" She copied his gesture and looked deep into his eyes with an unspoken challenge. "I thought I told you that I use that network bypass you made?"

"Yep. I remember you saying. I think I deleted my history about six times over that night just to be sure."

She passed her eyes over the horizon in a casual scan. Other patrons chatted amongst themselves, enjoying the colourful cakes and drinks laid out on their tables. Grunt was standing in the long queue and bounced in place. Under the table, Shepard swept her fingers up the inside of Joker's thigh, stopping shy of his groin. She gave his leg a gentle squeeze and smiled when she heard him blow a heavy breath through his lips. All of a sudden, she felt him freeze up.

"You, uh. Haven't used it lately, have you?" He asked. "No reason, just uh…"

"Relax Joker," she said and smiled as she met his eyes. "I'm all for a little bit of mystery. I don't go through people's extranet history unless lives depend on it somehow."

"Good. Now where were we?"

"About here, if I remember correctly," she said, and inched up his inner thigh still further. Her fingers brushed up against the front of his pants before she traced her way back down again towards his knee. Shepard enjoyed this tease. She could almost play him like an instrument - the higher her fingers explored up his leg, the more he tensed, like a plucked string. If we weren't in public right now… She imagined how he'd look lying on his back beneath her. How that tension she could feel in him like an electric current as she stroked up his leg might feel if only it were being focussed in her instead. Would he close his eyes? Make a sound? Bite his lip? Every thought was more delicious than the last. She ached to show him just how close she wanted to be. Come on, she thought as she leaned into him. Ask me to go back to the ship. Tell me you've got some kind of excuse to follow me up to my quarters. No such words were forthcoming, however. She watched as his Adam's apple bobbed in a somewhat heavy swallow, his fingertips having gone cold when he rested his hand on hers. She liked the way he looked with his defensive sarcasm and self-aggrandising bluffs stripped away. Left behind was someone so sensitive and sincere that it didn't look as though he knew how to handle even these simple games under the table without his cheeks reddening. Even though you started it, she thought. As he turned his head away she caught a glimpse of the smile that played across his lips. Brief, but unmistakable. Shyness. Joker was trying to hide something of a bashful grin from her. Shepard almost shook her head in disbelief. Joker? Shy? Really? What happened to the man of many talents, shameless and otherwise? She glanced over at Grunt, saw he was near the front of the line. She lifted her hand off Joker's leg and gave him a good-natured nudge on his shoulder. I won't push you, don't worry.

He nudged back. "I didn't say stop," he said as he looked back toward her.

"You didn't have to," she replied and lay her head on his shoulder.

He was quiet for a second. "Well, thanks, but… Okay, let me rephrase." He looked at her with a mischievous glint in his eye. "Don't stop."

Pressed up against him as she was, it was very easy for her to slide her hand all the way from his knee right up to his front, where she paused for a second. His eyes widened and he looked to either side. Just the reaction she was looking for.

"Careful, or you'll have a monster all your own to deal with," she said and lifted up off him. She peered at him through one eye as she raised her arm skyward in a casual stretch.

"That a promise?" He asked. She noticed his eyes as they travelled down her. "My very own monster sounds pretty good, gotta say… plus, no one would ever mess with me if I could just turn around and sic you on 'em."

"Oh, you can already do that. Just tell me what to do," she said with a warm smile and kissed his scratchy cheek. She caught sight of Grunt on his way back to the table bearing a tray.

The krogan grinned as he set out some things on the table, including another mountain of scones. She saw him look off to the side and pause, as if tracking a scent. He looked the two of them over, his wide-set eyes flicking between them, then shook his head and sat down.