"Sorry, am I interrupting something? I'll come back-" He moved a step back towards the door, as if motioning to leave.

"No, no, not at all." Elliot got to his feet quickly, giving Connie a reassuring smile before letting go of her hand. "I was just on my way out to get a coffee, can I tempt anyone?" Both declined politely with a shake of their heads. "Suit yourselves, I'll see you in theatre later Mr Strachan."

"Of course." He smiled at the older man before closing the door behind him.

"What is it, Mr Strachan?" She'd somewhat steadied her shaking voice in the time Elliot had talked her down from her breaking point and more or less brought her anxiety back down to zero. Part of her wished she'd had him as a father growing up and perhaps her life would have turned out differently.

"Actually, I came to confess something before it comes to your attention." He smiled that cheeky smile of his. "I might have accidentally, in the heat of the moment told Mr Hope-"

"The sex of the babies?" She swivelled in her chair to face him, her eyebrow raising with a small smirk on her lips as she studied his dropping expression. "Elliot congratulated me on the fact, leaving me to conclude that since you're the only person I've divulged this information to, you must have been the singing bird."

"I'm sorry, I just get carried away-" His thought out apology was short-lived as a knock at the door saw an end to his sentence. The person knocking opened the door almost as soon as they'd knocked.

"I'm sorry, I was hoping to speak to Connie." The husky voice ricocheted through the room morbidly. It was Susan.

Sam had left rather reluctantly, unsure of how well they'd get along when left on their own. Nevertheless, he'd been given a nod of approval from Connie before he exited. There was an incredibly frosty silence following his departure, made even more awkward when Connie remained sat coldly as Susan stood slightly gingerly with her back to the closed door.

"About before." She started, an iciness to her voice despite her apologetic words. "I didn't intend for you to-"

"It wasn't you." Connie interrupted softly but still reciprocated the same hostile energy. "Low blood sugar, I skipped breakfast this morning."

"Still, I didn't mean to explode the way I did." She cleared her throat, glancing down at her feet in-between words. "I won't beat around the bush, I can tell you don't want me in here any more than I actually want to be here but there are some things I need to ask you. Things that are unpleasant but by all means I think you owe me this much at least."

"There's nothing I can say or tell you that'll result in you leaving here any happier, Susan." There was a slight growl in her response, not wishing to be sat here doing this right now.

"Did he love you?" Her question was brisk and more or less came out of nowhere, like she wasn't even listening to anything Connie had just said. "I mean, it's obvious you felt strongly about him. Was it a mutual feeling?"

"Susan-"

"Please!" She barked desperately but quickly recoiled upon remembering their previous encounter. Closing her eyes slowly, she continued but in a far more controlled manner. "Please, I just - I need to know." There was a gloss over her eyes, tears threatening to fall but hanging tightly in the balance. To Connie's surprise, she moved further into the room before seating herself delicately on the sofa situated against the back wall of the office. Sat directly in front of her now, there was no avoiding her gaze. Connie's reluctance to speak only invited her to continue talking. "I need to know if the man I'm grieving for even loved me." She sniffed lightly. "We'd been together since we were sixteen, high school sweethearts." She monitored Connie's reaction to each and every word she uttered, she was still holding tight on an answer. "I always wondered what I'd done to deserve him, he was kind, caring, handsome." She smiled longingly but it faded quickly. "Deep down I knew he was having an affair, a part of me wanted to confront him but I knew that'd cause a rift and I couldn't face losing him, even if it meant lying to myself." Connie could do nothing but watch on silently as this woman decided to pour her heart out, to her husband's mistress of all people. "So I just pretended like everything was normal and pushed the thought out of my head." Her eyes finally flickered up from her fidgeting hands to Connie's sympathetic and guilt-ridden face. "He was going to leave me, wasn't he?" Her eyes were begging for a response. "I have nothing else to lose, please."

"No." She whispered delicately, lying through her teeth to save this woman from being even more heartbroken than she already was, after all what good what come of it? "He wouldn't, I should know, I asked him but only once." Licking her lips, she took a shaky breath before expanding on the topic. "He loved you too much."

"I found a letter detailing how he was going to leave me." She blinked, forcing her tears to jump ship and roll slowly down her tired cheeks. "He must have changed his mind and thrown it out, but I found it in the outside bin a few weeks before he died. There were scribblings and mistakes on it, he was such a perfectionist he probably drafted it out first and then realised he'd be making a huge mistake." She sniffled loudly as Connie winced with regret, the letter she'd found when she cleaned out his locker and gone to great lengths to conceal was all a waste of time. Susan had found the draft. Will's pedantic ways, still causing chaos even after he'd passed.

"He did care about you-"

"Oh, please." She cut her off emotionally. "Don't patronise me! I'd known him for half my life, I don't need you or anyone else to talk to me about what he cared about!" She snapped abrasively, striking a raw nerve with Connie. Especially as she recalled Ric's words from earlier, she loved Will too so why wasn't she allowed to grieve for him? Why was she concealing her heartbreak so save someone else's feelings?

"So what are you doing in here, talking to me?" She asked directly, her tone the most stony Susan had heard it. "What exactly do you want to hear? Because if it's the truth I can guarantee that you won't like it." She paused to read Susan's reaction. "If you're going to sit here and lure me into spilling the details so that you can scream and shout some more, then you can just leave now."

"Not until you've answered my questions-"

"You know what I think?" She asked rhetorically, the tables had turned and now Connie held the angry reins. Susan didn't know her well and she was about to learn real fast. "I think you already know the answers to these questions. You're so angry at him for betraying you but you feel guilty because he's not here to confront anymore. That's why you're here. So that you can direct all of this pent up anger at me." Her hard-hitting truths had silenced the widow quite quickly. "But I can tell you now, it will not make you feel any better."

"So just get it over with and tell me already." Her jaw tensed as she stemmed her tears as best she could. "Like you said, he's not here anymore, I can't ask him and you're the only person who can offer me answers now. Being angry with a ghost has no closure, no end point and I can't go on like this." There was a long silence, it was prickly and uncomfortable for both. There really was nothing left to lose, nothing Connie said or did now could save her feelings or undo anything that had happened.

"About a year." She spoke with a callous grace but kept her tone as gentle as she could. "That's how long it'd been going on for." She could see straight away that the information had hit her hard.

"And all those training seminars and late night meetings-"

"He was with me."

"But I have photos." She paused, swallowing hard as she tried to find any kind of justification. "Photos of him at conferences with other colleagues-"

"Conferences that I also attended, we'd book two rooms to save face in front of co-workers but we only used the one room." Giving her exactly what she had been repeatedly asking for, she offered her stone-cold truths without sugarcoating. "I truly don't recall how it started between us but once it did, it was fairly regular and only got more intense as the months passed by."

"Was it just sex?" Her confronting question caused Connie to breathe in and out deeply, she was losing her patience and quickly.

"You found the letter, Susan." She rolled her lips together, taking another long breath before summoning the strength to look her in the eye again. "I don't know what else you want me to say?" She could feel her lip quivering. Anytime she thought about the fact that he was really gone she couldn't stop the tsunami of sadness from hitting her full force.

"The letter?" Susan repeated calmly. "You say that like you know more about it, what do you know?" Her gaze remained resentful, as she watched the surgeon get caught in the headlights before her. "Go on, I know you know something so just come out with it."

"There was a letter." She cleared her throat apprehensively, knowing in advance this revelation was going to cause some sort of large scale reaction. "In his locker, it was addressed you but wasn't sealed. I was informed you were too distraught to empty his things, so I did."

"You're lying, you're making this up after what I said about finding the letter in the bin." Shutting down her claims instantly, she felt her heart sink as she saw Connie stand up, her shirt clinging to her small bump for a fraction of a second as she moved. She pulled open the top drawer on her filing cabinet and gently grabbed a crisp, unsealed envelope before walking around her desk to hand it to Susan.

"You wanted the truth, it's all in here." She breathed slightly shakily. "I am tired of holding in my grief, tired of battling through this pain alone. You were begging to hear it and I'll only tell you once. I loved Will, more than anything." Her voice cracked heartbreakingly before she attempted to control her emotions, it was clearly quite a task and for even a split second Susan felt pained for her. "He told me he loved me too and I believed him. Yes, he wrote this letter but he's gone now." Her pitch jumped towards the end of her sentence. "So we'll never know what he would have done, you lost your husband and the father to your children but I lost him too, as much as that aggravates you, I am suffering in the same way you are." She unconsciously placed her palm lightly on her bump as she exhaled unsteadily, as if trying to suffocate the despair she was feeling.

"Did he know? Before he was killed." She let her eyes land on the small bump for only a second, as if the mere sight of it was too heartbreaking to deal with. "That you were pregnant?" Her expression had gone from angry to pained to almost a look of nothingness as she clenched at the unopened letter in her hands. She studied Connie's movements, watching her retake her seat cautiously behind her desk. Shaking her head silently, she was still fighting back tears.

"He had no idea, nor did I."

"But you're keeping it, because of him?" There was a lengthy standstill as the two heartbroken women stared at one another emptily.

"She's all I have left of him." The response was whispered out tenderly, her eyes conveying the immense torment she was experiencing. Opposite her, Susan felt as though her heart had been pierced by a long, sharp dagger. Looking down at her own shaking fists, she was still grasping tightly onto the letter she was too afraid to read. The flood gates had opened, her tears finally cascading down her face freely as Connie's fell in a more controlled manner over her freckled cheeks. In between her agonising sobs, Susan managed to choke out one last sentence.

"He'd always wanted a girl."

"Was that some sort of a turn-on for you earlier?" He watched her moving towards him in the dark, the small pebbles crunching beneath her high heels. "Flirting with me, playing games whilst your husband and my wife are only feet away? I had to wait over an hour for her to fall asleep before coming down here." His focus was off in the poor lighting until she stepped out from under the wooden archway and into the moonlight. They were at a charity function being held at a fancy hotel in the Lakes, staff and partners were invited to attend and spend the night before heading home in the morning. It was a Summer's eve but the air had turned slightly cooler with the setting of the sun. The evening had finally come to an end at nearly 1am. The pair had managed to slip away from their spouses and meet by the lake edge. Melting into the open air, it was peaceful and quiet this far away from the main building . And boy was he was angry, she could tell.

"What, wasn't it for you too?" Smiling mischievously, she stopped just in front of him, her eyes glinting up at his tensed jaw. He wouldn't look at her, which ultimately only made her smile more. He was stood at the end of the very small wooden decking that was fashioned into a sort of mini lake pier.

"No, actually, it wasn't." Finally looking at her, he remembered why he was avoiding doing just that. As soon as he made eye contact he could feel himself wanting her. The dress she'd worn tonight was for nobody but him. She'd done it deliberately, a svelte black, backless gown that hugged her figure in all the right places. His mouth positively dropped open when he saw her. Of course, flanking her upon entry was Michael whilst he himself stood with Susan by his side.

"Really? Because, you could have fooled me."

"I'm being serious." He stepped away again, anxious of their surroundings. "Susan could have seen-"

"I thought we weren't going to talk about her when I was with you?" She dropped the seductive act knowing full well he wouldn't make a move when he was this wound up, especially when it concerned Susan.

"She's my wife." He exclaimed bitterly. "We talk about Michael-"

"That's different." Butting in she frowned as he looked at her exasperatedly. "I don't love Michael, I'm just married to him."

"I don't love Susan-" He halted immediately the moment those angry words left his mouth, her face as shocked as he felt. "It's just, it's too complicated."

"But you just said it yourself. You don't love her?" There was a risk with pushing for an answer, he was as hot-headed as she was but he couldn't just drop a bombshell like that and expect her not to want him to expand on the topic.

"How can I when I'm with you?" His words were delicate and truthful as he stared down at her, his anger gradually slipping away. "You're all I can think about. Every minute of every day. I need you."

"And you can have me." She reiterated. "It's just Susan that's standing in the way." Stepping up to him she smoothed her hands up his sides and around his back underneath his suit jacket as he fought the urge to grab her waist. He refrained, keeping his arms hanging by his sides limply.

"It's not that simple, Connie. We've been together since we were kids, I can't just leave her-"

"No?" She leant back a fraction to look him directly in the eyes questioningly. "Are you happy with her?"

"You know I'm not."

"Then what's so complicated about it?"

"All of this, it's not me, the sneaking, the cheating, the lying." He shook his head, bewildered at her lack of compassion. "It doesn't come easily to me-"

"Oh right, and it does to me? Is that what you're getting at here?" She let go of him immediately, taking a step back. "What are you so worried about?"

"Everything!" He laughed but it lacked all humour. "How do I know this isn't just a fling for you? In all my years of marriage, I've never strayed, never even been tempted, not once and then you come along and completely knock me off my feet in a matter of weeks."

"You'll sacrifice your own happiness just to keep stringing her along? And for what?" She stared at him in the silence, only the sound of the water and the wind in the trees filling in the quietness, she could tell he was thinking hard about what she'd just asked. "I love you." Out of nowhere she finally whispered the three words he'd been waiting to hear ever since he first said it to her a week ago, they'd only been seeing each other on the side for seven or eight weeks and he'd said it so soon. When she didn't repeat it back to him he'd panicked and started to question his actions. As soon as she uttered the short but powerful sentence, his heart warmed immediately, a hot feeling brewing within him as his breath hitched in his throat.

"And you're not just saying that, to get into my trousers?" He asked honestly, his face riddled with concern causing her to laugh as she stepped towards him again. This time she pressed her palms flat on his chest, smoothing them up and down lovingly.

"I don't say those words unless I mean them." Her eyes told no lies, their faces getting closer as their lips met at last. A slow and passionate kiss to settle their exchange of words. His hands went immediately to her hips and waist, pulling her even closer as she snaked her hands up to his neck, ultimately settling on his jawline whilst her fingers became buried in the hair on the back of his head. "But I do really want to get in your pants as well." Speaking into his lips as they softened the kiss, she could feel him smiling into her too before she deepened the kiss once more.

"Where were you last night?" Chrissie asked as she approached the nurses station, although she tried to make her tone sound light it was obvious to almost everyone around them that she was put out. Most of the department were quite aware of the flame she held for Mr Strachan.

"Sorry, I had a rough day yesterday, I didn't feel like being social."

"Mr Strachan." She smiled. "You're not seriously telling me you actually had a quiet night in?"

"Is that so hard to believe?" He attempted to offer the same energy back but he was honestly finding her quite tiresome, not in the sense of her being boring, he just struggled to maintain an upbeat level of enthusiasm around her anymore. He felt like over the last few weeks he'd been through so much, he was a changed man.

"No, actually, it sounds quite nice." She advanced towards him, setting the armful of patient files down. "Fancy some company tonight? Quiet night in for two?"

"Mr Strachan?" Elliot butted in, not without an eye-roll from Chrissie as Sam straightened up his posture. "You're not bailing on Mr Byrne are you?" His aged blue eyes twinkled sweetly as Sam stared in confusion before finally catching on, the senior surgeon was actually offering him an escape? He was far cooler than most would believe.

"No, no, that's right, of course not." He looked at Chrissie apologetically. "Sorry, I promised I'd visit Joseph after work, he's doing a lot better, so Elliot - I mean, Mr Hope and I thought it might be quite nice to pop in and keep his spirits up." Almost giving her too much information, he ran the risk of making his lie sound like exactly that. A lie. Luckily, Chrissie didn't see Elliot as being anyone's wingman and took his word as gospel.

"Fine, maybe tomorrow night then." She smiled, not clocking Sam's disappointment. "Give Joseph my best, won't you?" She took the files she needed and headed back out on to the ward. A big sigh of relief being exhaled by Sam.

"Mr Hope, you're a saint. Thank you." He offered the older male consultant a grateful smile as he replaced his stethoscope around his neck, they'd began to head towards theatre for their next procedure.

"Don't mention it. A word of advice though, Mr Strachan. You might want to think about letting her down gently soon, far more gentlemanly than stringing her along, don't you think?"

"I know." He sighed. "I keep meaning to talk to her but each time just doesn't seem to be the right time."

"Make a right time before feelings get even more hurt."

"Duly noted, thank you Dr Love." He joked, pulling a smile from him. "How did things go with Connie and Susan earlier?"

"I see news travels fast, who told you about that?"

"Told me about what?" He blinked in a puzzled fashion. "I was in her office when Susan asked to see her."

"Susan Curtis?" His grey, wiry brows knitted together, a deep look of concern on his face.

"Yes?" He frowned slightly. "Why, what else has happened?"

"Hm? Oh, nothing, must have just been a misunderstanding I think-"

"Elliot, come off it." He more or less demanded. "Granted, you were pretty good back there with Chrissie but I can see right through you." He paused momentarily as they continued on walking through the long Darwin corridors. "You're not telling me something."

"Mr Strachan." He chuckled nervously, thinking about the horror of what could be occurring between the two mourning women in his shared office. "Must you be so suspicious all the time?"

"Yes, actually." He raised his brows but felt a little more relaxed as Elliot seemed pretty unbothered by the information he'd just given.

"Oh, shoot!" He stopped suddenly, patting down his sides and pocket areas in a bumbling manner causing Sam to halt in the corridor irritably. "I've left my pager at the nurses desk." Tutting frustratedly in a very convincing manner, he bit his lip apologetically. "You go on ahead, I'll meet you in theatre." He turned in the opposite direction at the same time Sam set off towards the operating rooms. "And don't start until I'm scrubbed up!" shouting after him, he smiled seeing him put his hand up and wave behind himself without even looking. God, he was an impressive actor when he needed to be. Waiting until the registrar had disappeared around the corner, he changed direction and headed straight for his office. His first thought was to knock, but it was his office too and that'd be weird, signalling to Connie that he knew she had someone in there with her and he wanted to appear unknowing. Not thinking about it for too long he simply let himself in as normal, faking to be in mid sentence. "I just need to grab some paperwork." To his surprise she was in there alone, but he disguised his astonishment well.

"You sure you haven't just come back to check up on me?" She eyed him warily, a small but noticeable smile gracing her mouth. She looked sad and tired but was an expert at disguising her anguish.

"Of course not." Grinning warmly, he took a moment to look at her properly and make sure she was okay. "After all, it's not like you need babysitting."

"Thank you."

"For what?" He smiled, his reddened cheeks contrasting greatly with his grey bearded chin and chops. "Stating the obvious?"

"No, for earlier." She smiled gratefully. "Everything you said to me, I appreciate it." She could tell her gratification had taken him by surprise, but she wanted to make sure he knew how much she valued his care and concern, despite sometimes feeling slightly overwhelmed by his behaviour.

"Oh, right, well don't mention it. Just know that I'm always here, and always will be." Their eyes met for a moment before she ended the sweet and sentimental moment.

"Hadn't you best get to theatre? You know, Mr Strachan has a track record of doing as he pleases when left alone with a scalpel."

"I've noticed. As much as I love his great initiative, I do look forward to you being approved to operate again. I feel you have much more control over him than I do!" He laughed heartily, heading for the door without another word. It was taking every fibre in his being not to gush or ask if she was okay. He was trying his best not to suffocate her, no matter how much it pained him. The way she was with him today, he felt more positive in the fact that she might open up to him more now? She'd already progressed in leaps and bounds since he first met her. He could only hope that she was that comfortable in their friendship now. It was equally as agonising for her too, trying to rein in her overwhelming emotions any time she was left alone with him when a majority of the time she just wanted to let it all out. In fact, she felt as though she was close to having nothing left to let out anymore. Seriously, how much grief and sadness could one person have inside of them? She often wondered if suppressing her emotions since she was a young girl had contributed to this awful breakdown she seemed to be experiencing? Perhaps losing Will was the cherry on top and thus kick-started her decline.

She sat blankly for while, just thinking in silence. It was only midday and she already felt mentally and emotionally exhausted. To the point of being numb, which normally came later on in the day. Her brain wanted so badly for her to feel some form of guilt about the Susan situation but for once her heart was ruling her body. She loved Will, more than anyone else she'd ever had in her life. Why should she not be able to grieve for him openly? After all, Susan was the one seeking her out for answers, it's not as if she yelled about their affair from the hospital rooftop. They were always discreet, or at least she thought they were. Her wandering thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door, her face surprised to land upon Ric once he'd entered.

"I just thought I'd drop in and see how you were." He offered a shy smile as he closed the door behind himself.

"Fine, given the circumstances." Folding her lips together slightly sheepishly, she only provided him with a split second of eye contact before she looked down again.

"I just saw Susan in the cafeteria, she looked rattled to say the least. She came looking for you after you left Keller, I imagine you both had a lengthy discussion once she managed to find you."

"How did you know?" Her stark question came out of nowhere and caught him by surprise, her gaze instantly darting up to meet his eyes, a desperate longing in her face that he'd never seen before. "About Will and me."

"Well, it only took a couple of tongue-wagging incidents before I started to put two and two together." He entered further into the room and seated himself on the settee opposite her desk, the same spot Susan had sat in only an hour or so ago. "I was in the hotel room next to yours in Prague." Clearing his throat apprehensively, he leant forward and rested his elbows on his knees. "I only got an audio version of the sex show but I'm sure other guests on their balconies received quite the visual to match." He smiled with a chuckle, his brows jumping up as he shook his head softly. Connie being embarrassed was an extremely rare sight, and he was seeing it for the first time now, hence his obvious joy at her discomfort. Her eyelids had pulled together tightly, accompanied by a long and heavy sigh.

"I didn't think we were that obvious-"

"No, no you weren't." He back-peddled quickly to ease her upset. "Once I'd heard you both together like that, the sounds wouldn't leave my head." His eyes deadened with a jest-tainted seriousness. "Believe me, I tried everything." He chortled before looking serious again. "And then, of course, there was that charity function in the Lakes." He smiled up at her. "I was already aware of your affair so perhaps it was more obvious to me, but the intense flirting over dinner was a little hard to ignore."

"Susan knows." She blinked quickly, her dark eyelashes fluttering together in the most beautiful way. "She came looking for a confession and she got one."

"So you indulged? Do you think that was wise?"

"No, of course it wasn't wise, it might be the stupidest thing I've ever done but I just-" She paused momentarily. "I just snapped, she kept pushing and pushing for answers and I'm tired of holding it in, Ric." The fatigue was more than visible in her face, body language and even her voice now too.

"She asked me, you know?" He leant back again, their eyes connected from across the room. "At the function in the Lake District." Watching her reaction carefully he proceeded with caution. "She saw you both sharing what looked like an extremely close and cosy chat, asked me if there was anything to worry about and I lied and said no, of course."

"He was going to leave her, penned her a heartfelt letter an everything." She blinked slowly, her freckles looking more stark on her pale skin due to her washed out complexion.

"I'm sorry things turned out like this, I can't imagine what you must be going through." He wasn't afraid of showing his concern but he was uneasy about how she'd react to such a personal comment. To his surprise she looked emotional. "Come on." He smiled. "Connie Beauchamp doesn't do tears, remember?"

"Yeah, well." She scoffed with a light smile, stemming the tears on her lower lids with her fingers before they could run down her cheeks. "She cries a lot these days but she'll get there, eventually."

"Of course you will." His sure-footed words instilled a sort of mild confidence within her. She'd got through so much in her life already, surely she'd make it out of this despite it being the worst thing that had ever happened to her.

"Sam?" Chrissie called out eagerly, his face wincing whilst the back of his head remained facing her. "There's a patient in bay seven, his son is refusing to let anyone but Connie see him." As soon as he heard it was actually work related, he turned to look at her properly.

"She's busy at the moment-"

"Yeah, I know, I said you were more than skilled enough to assess him but they're flat-out refusing."

"What's his name, I'll go and speak to him." He sighed, setting his tangerine and juice down. There goes his break.

"Patient goes by William Chase and his son is James, they're extremely pig-headed so be warned." Widening her eyes, she pushed the files into his chest, desperate to be rid of them. "Best of luck! If I see Connie, I'll send her that way."

"Let me speak to them first, she's got enough on her plate at the moment."