(After the intro)

"It's no secret that emotions could unlock power within you." Wiz stated.

"But when it comes to these two, the negative emotions do the job right." Boomstick added. "James Rolfe, the Angry Video Game Nerd."

"And Twilight Sparkle, the Princess Of Friendship from My Little Pony." Wiz added.

"Yep, here we go again." Boomstick sighed. "He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick."

"And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!" Wiz stated.

(AVGN)

"He's gonna take you back to the past!" Boomstick sang.

"Time and place, Boomstick." Wiz replied. "Now, in the older years, there were classic game consoles and classic games, now some of those games are considered terrible."

"From pornographic Atari games to games that just don't make sense." Boomstick added. "And someone was going to play them. This is the Angry Video Game Nerd."

Background:

Real name: James Rolfe

Height: 5'9

Weight: Unknown

Is an alcoholic

He's gonna take you back to the past

He plays shitty games that suck ass

"James Rolfe is unique from most YouTube gamers you'd see on the internet." Wiz stated. "If he was going to play those games, he was going to play them like a nerd."

"An angry one at that!" Boomstick added. "This guys got more NES accessories than hardcore Nintendo fans!"

Arsenal:

NES zapper

Super Mecha Death Christ

F- Bombs

Crappy Weapons

Spread Shot

Pens

Power Glove

Power Pad Cape

Laser Scope

Turbo Pad

SNES Scope

Super NES AVGN (Or NintenNerd)

"He can use the Power Pad as a cape to glide for extra air manoeuvre ability." Wiz explained. "He uses the Power Glove for powerful strikes up close. His zapper and SNES scope can help out with foes from a distance, and never seem to run out of ammo. His Grip Loafers allow him to jump from wall to wall."

"The Turbo Pad charges his shots for additional damage, and the Laser Scope grants him better sights to track invisible blocks and items." Boomstick added. "But when the Nerd want to up his game, he combines all these accessories and becomes Super NES AVGN, or the NintenNerd."

"The NintenNerd unleashes the AVGN's true Nerdy powers." Wiz explained. "And that's not all he has in offense. Super Mecha Death Christ is a robot that unleashes an onslaught of bullets, the F- Bombs are small but powerful bombs that can destroy multiple enemies at once, Crappy Weapons deal small damage but can bounce off walls and deal damage multiple times, the Spread Shot increases his range to help him get ahead."

Feats:

Defeated Death Mwauthzyx, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, Nostalgia Critic, Malebogia, and Bugs Bunny

Completed Zelda 2 with the Power Glove

Escaped Hell twice

Created Franken-Nerd

Caused an earthquake by yelling the F word

Survived ripping out his own Heart

Revived as RoboNerd

Tanked Dynamite exploding in his face

Stared directly at the Sun with no ill side effects

"The Nerd is powerful!" Boomstick exclaimed. "It's no wonder he tore up power characters like this giant robot, Malebogia, Freddy Kruegar, and even Bugs Bunny?!"

"Although, the biggest problem with him is his temper and his alcoholism." Wiz explained. "Not to mwntion, boobs distract him and put him in a trance. If he gets too mad, he can lose focus and go into a blind rage. Still, the Nerd's legacy will live on."

"He plays the shitty games that suck ass!" Boomstick yelled.

"It looks like a job for the fucking Nerd!" AVGN yelled.

(Twilight Sparkle)

"High above the mountaintops lies the peaceful city of Canterlot." Wiz explained. "There, a young filly named Twilight Sparkle had a big dream, become the student of Princess Celestia by learning magic spells at her school for gifted unicorns."

"Which is kind of a big deal since Celestia is basically Pony God of the Sun." Boomstick added.

Background:

Height: 4'0

Princess of Friendship

Represents the Element of Magic

Has 20,000 library books

Student of Princess Celestia

Is obsessed with flashcards

Has a fear of quesadillas (because they're so cheesy)

"After he entrance exam, and after the Sonic Rainboom, she got into the school and became the Princess' student." Wiz explained.

"On top of that, she got her Cutie Mark." Boomstick added. "It's what Ponies get when they discover their purpose in life. Yawn."

"Twilight's Cutie Mark showed that her purpose in life is Magic." Wiz explained. "When she was a child, she turned her parents into plants."

"When she became an adult, she read her entire 20,000 book collection." Boomstick added. "That is some serious Nerd-iness. And not like the Nerd we were referencing before."

"Twilight has picked up powerful spells since growing up." Wiz added. "It would take an hour to describe how many spells she's learned. She can recall pretty much anything that happened in her life."

Powers:

Concussive energy blasts

Telekinesis

Teleportation

Magic shields

Want it, Need it spell

Voice amplification

Transmutation

Accelero

"She can repeatedly teleport, fire energy blasts, protect herself with magic shields, and use telekinesis to move things and people around." Boomstick listed.

"She is also able to walk on clouds, set things on fire, transform things, freeze others in place, and even manipulate the laws of gravity." Wiz listed. "She once even turned an apple into a nest of bird eggs that hatched."

"How in the hell is that possible?!" Boomstick replied.

"But if there's one thing that truly stems Twilight's abilities, it's her emotions." Wiz explained. "Magic mainly stems from a Unicorn's emotions. The stronger they feel about something, the stronger their magic."

"Ugh, that boring feely stuff." Groaned Boomstick.

"However, in Equestria, there is magic that is more powerful than the others." Wiz stated. "The magic of friendship."

Boomstick groaned louder than he ever did before.

"Boring!" He yelled.

"Boomstick, friendship is the only weapon that is capable of destroying Equestria's most powerful enemies." Wiz explained.

"Still boring." Boomstick replied.

"Ugh!" Wiz sighed. "Twilight's friendship is most powerful when linked with the Elements of Harmony, ancient Equestrian artefacts that are capable of destroying monsters that even have the power of all of Equestria. Twilight's crown on it's own has the power to grant it's wearer intense powers even in other dimensions."

"Oh, and you see, Twilight didn't always have those wings of hers." Boomstick added. "She was a Unicorn, but after completing an ancient friendship spell, she became an Alicorn, with the wings of a Pegasus and the horn of a Unicorn, and a way to sell a lot more merchandise that will be bought by grown men, not that there's anything wrong with that."

"Alicorn magic is way more powerful than plain Unicorn magic." Wiz explained. "And it was a boost for Twilight to become the next princess."

Feats:

Lifted a 4.5 ton boulder

Shielded an attack worth around eight million newtons of force

Survived an anvil and piano dropping on her

Lifted a 340 ton bear with her magic

Flew over 300 mph

Was on equal power to all of Equestria's citizens

Defeated Tirek, Chrysalis, Cozy Glow, Sunset Shimmer, and Nightmare Moon

"This peppy little Pony survived a piano and anvil dropping on her like a toon, lifted a four and a half ton rock, and flew over three hundred miles per hour without other spells." Boomstick listed. "And with the other Alicorn's magic, she even moved the Sun and the Moon."

"Twilight has one major weakness though, her unwavering neurosis." Wiz explained. "She stresses out if everything isn't organized. Also, she has bad tendencies to make bad situations worse before trying to fix them."

"But hey, regardless of her bitching, Twilight still stands as the Princess of Friendship." Boomstick added.

"We've learned that friendship isn't always easy, but there's no doubt it's worth fighting for!" Twilight stated.

"Alright, the combatants are set, and we've run the data through all possibilities." Wiz stated.

"It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!" Boomstick yelled.

(The battle)

The scene was Equestria. Twilight was reading a book of spells.

"I can summon beings from other dimensions?" She asked herself. "Let's try it."

Twilight used the spells, and summoned the AVGN into Equestria. The AVGN already had his NES zapper.

"Huh?" Twilight asked.

"Where the hell am I?!" AVGN demanded. "This place looks like a Unicorn had a diarrhea shit all over this place!"

"Did you just cuss?!" Boomed Twilight. "You just broke the code in..."

"Shut the fuck up!" Yelled AVGN. "What are you? A talking horse? Oh hell no!"

(FIGHT!)

AVGN fired his zapper at Twilight, who blocked every shot. Afterwards, Twilight put her shield down to cast a spell to send AVGN back to where he came from, only to get sucker punched, and launched into a distant forest.

"Who is this human?!" She demanded.

Twilight tried to track down AVGN. What she didn't know was that he was right behind her. He jumped on her back and covered her eyes.

"Gotcha, Twi-bitch!" He yelled.

"Get off!" Twilight yelled.

Twilight activated her shield to throw AVGN off, and knock him into a tree.

"Gah!" He yelled.

Twilight had an idea. She casted her 'Want it, Need it' spell on the tree AVGN was knocked into.

"I want it, I need it." AVGN said, holding the tree.

"Now I have you!" Twilight boomed, scheming.

"Nice try!" AVGN replied, grabbing a Spread Shot, and firing at Twilight, catching her off guard.

"What kind of human are you?!" Twilight demanded.

"One of a kind!" AVGN replied, throwing an F-Bomb at Twilight, knocking her away, and damaging one of her wings.

"I'm ending this!" She yelled.

Twilight rushed to the spot, to find AVGN with all NES Accessories, and equipped the SNES Super Scope.

"Now, this is your end, you fucking Pony piece of shit!" AVGN yelled.

AVGN charged up a shot, but Twilight blocked before it hit her. AVGN kept firing shots, then summoned Super Mecha Death Christ to also fire at her. Eventually, Twilight's shield broke, and AVGN uppercutted her into the air.

"I'm done with you!" Twilight yelled.

Twilight dived straight into AVGN, who held her back, then used the SNES Super Scope to blast off the top of her head. Twilight fell to the ground, missing the top of her head. Horn, Brain, Skull, everything above. AVGN then walked over to Twilight's corpse, pulled down his trousers and pants, and pooped all over her. Afterwards, AVGN pulled back up his clothes.

"Fuck you, Twilight Sparkle!" AVGN yelled, flipping her off. "Fuck you, Twilight Sparkle."

AVGN then walked off to find a way home.

(K.O.!)

"Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned something stronger than friendship." Boomstick said. "An Angry Video Game Nerd blasting my Brains to non-existence!"

"Now, this was a surprisingly close matchup." Wiz stated. "With AVGN gears and Twilight's spells, this could go either way. So, it mainly came down to power, experience, and performance."

"Remember when Twilight survived eight million newtons of force?" Boomstick asked. "AVGN could more than match that with his arsenal and abilities. Don't forget that he once had the powers of Superman and RoboCop."

"Not to mention Twilight had the power of four Alicorns at that time." Wiz added. "And while she was battling Tirek, Twilight puts her shields down before casting any other spells, that implies she can't defend and attack at the same time."

"Yeah, Twilight's spells couldn't even hope to match what AVGN has, even if she had her friends by her side." Boomstick added. "Plus, AVGN has fought a flying Unicorn before, while Twilight never fought anyone quite like the Nerd."

"While they may of been matched in certain ways, AVGN superior power, skills, and abilities meant the end for the Princess of Friendship." Wiz explained.

"Yep, the Nerd sure pony'd up for this one." Boomstick joked. "He sure does what Twilight Nintendon't."

"The winner is the Angry Video Game Nerd." Wiz stated.

Well, that was AVGN VS Twilight Sparkle. Now I can read my next two Skatoony stories. Next time on DEATH BATTLE:

"For the Lin Kuei!"

VS

"I will get a princess to marry me!"

Sub-Zero VS Ice King (Mortal Kombat VS Adventure Time)