AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Only two more chapters left...I promise that this chapter will be rewarding

Enjoy the chapter!

PLAYLIST:

- Cinnamon Girl by Lana Del Rey (Bonnie's present POV)

- idontwannabeyouanymore by Billie Eilish (Bonnie's flashback)

- Dynamite by Sigrid (Damon's present POV)

- Let Me Down by Jorja Smith ft. Stormzy (Damon's flashback)

Disclaimer: I do not own the Vampire Diairies, or the characters.

Bonnie has never been happier that her dad is home today. She's had worse hangovers before, but she's been laying in bed for the past fifteen minutes and can't seem to get up. Her memories of last night are a little scrambled, but she had a good time and it seemed like everyone else did too. Well, until she got home and puked into the toilet for a little while. She didn't even drink as much as the others, she can only imagine the hangovers that everyone else has; she grabs her phone from the nightstand next to her bed, noticing a couple texts from her friends.

caroline: I think I died

elena: I'm going to visit Isobel and John today…what a mistake

elena: I cannot survive without sunglasses, I'm going to get teased all day

Bonnie grins, setting her phone back down; she'll reply later when she's feeling a little less rundown, maybe once she gets some food in her body. She swings her legs off her bed, standing up slowly with a sigh; she walks into her bathroom, not bothering to shut on the lights and fumbles around for her toothbrush. She's pretty sure her breath smells disgusting, and she'd rather not repulse her family, and especially not Damon. She can still feel the ghost of his hand resting on her hip, the way that his eyes seemed to prick her skin, she'd had a couple drinks already but she'd known what she had been doing. It wasn't necessarily a regret, but it scares her a little.

It hadn't taken long for her feelings for Damon to resurface, maybe they'd never really gone away but last night seemed to prove that it wasn't just one-sided. But things weren't the same, she wasn't seventeen anymore; she had Lila to consider, and they would be forever bound by their daughter. If they did start dating, what if it all goes to shit? She doesn't want Lila to be in the middle of a bad breakup, or expose her to a toxic childhood. There was still so much they had to work out, who knew if they could even survive adult life together. She doesn't want to mess things up. She spits out her toothpaste, cleaning her mouth with water and walks back into her bedroom, sorting through her clothes; it'll definitely be something comfy for today. She hears a quiet knock at the door, looking up with a frown.

"Who is it?" she calls tentatively.

"It's me," Damon replies softly, "Can I come in?"

"Sure," she watches him open the door, stepping into her room; he shuts the door gently and she gives him a small smile. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. I've had worse hangovers, I'm not really a lightweight. You?"

"I puked in the toilet last night, and it took me fifteen minutes to get out of bed. I feel pretty gross this morning, actually. Life as a lightweight, I guess."

"I could've held your hair back," he points out, smirking slightly.

"I didn't want to bug you. I'm fine now, just mentally preparing myself for going downstairs. Thank god my dad is here, I wouldn't have been able to go down with Lila around seven."

"I always thought he would stop you from drinking."

"I mean, I'm legal now so he can't exactly protest. Have you heard anything from anyone else? I cannot picture the type of hangover that Stefan has," Bonnie chuckles, turning back around to sift through her clothes.

"He texted me this morning, said he threw up in the shower," Bonnie laughs, and she knows Damon is probably doing that stupid thing where he's smirking but also smiling with his eyes right now. It's actually kind of endearing, but she'll never admit it out loud.

"Are you sure you want anything to help, at least? I know you said your hangover isn't bad, but I have some Advil in one of my desk drawers."

"I could take some Advil," she hears him walk over to her desk, looking through her drawers. "Which drawer is it?"

"Second on the right, should be in a little tray," she responds, finally picking out a grey t-shirt and white shorts. She frowns, realizing how quiet the room has gotten and turns around to see Damon hunched over her desk, clearly examining something. "Is everything okay? Do you need water or something for the Advil?"

Damon turns around, his expression unreadable and he's holding up the heart-shaped necklace that he gave her almost four years ago, for their three month anniversary when they were dating. She can feel the blood drain from her face, leaning on her dresser for support; she's trying to think of a lie to throw him off, to convince him that it's nothing but her mind is blank.

"Why do you still have this?" he asks quietly, and she feels trapped under his intense gaze.

"Um, well, I...I couldn't let it go," Bonnie admits softly, staring at the ground. It was the one gift she couldn't get rid of, no matter how many times she had considered it. She'd never worn it, only kept it safely tucked away and she'd forgotten that she'd put it away in her desk after unpacking. She was such an idiot for even bringing it to Mystic Falls, why couldn't she have left it in Atlanta? There was no reason as to why she had to bring it!

She can feel Damon approach quickly, looking up with anxious eyes to discern what he's about to do and is surprised when he cups her cheeks, kissing her hungrily. She responds eagerly, pushing her chin against his and places her hands on his shoulders, dropping the clothes she picked out on the ground. Her body feels like it's coming back to life, lighting up like a christmas tree and something missing has been put back in place; she makes a choked noise as he deepens the kiss, pressing her against her dresser. His hands dip down to her hips, turning her around and she stumbles back, sitting on her bed and puts a hand down to steady herself. She's forgotten how greedy he could be with his kisses (and how much she liked that), the mattress dipping where he sets down his hands. His mouth is slick and hot against hers, she thinks that maybe they should stop but it feels too good, it feels so right. There's a crisp and loud knock at the door, causing them both to jump apart.

"Yes?" is all Bonnie can manage to say, looking at Damon and there's a good chance that she looks like a moron right now.

"I made some hashbrowns for breakfast, there's some leftover for when you come down. Lila is getting dressed right now," her dad replies, his voice a little muffled through the door.

"Okay, thanks Dad! I'll be out soon, I'm just getting changed as well," Bonnie says, and she lets out a little sigh of relief when she hears him walk away.

"I should leave you to get changed," Damon says, his voice light but he's not looking at her anymore.

"Yeah, okay."

Damon walks to her door, giving her a small smile that doesn't seem to reach his eyes and closes the door. So much for not messing things up.

MARCH 2010

"So how was the 20s decade dance, Elena?" Bonnie asked, shifting slightly to make herself more comfortable with three pillows stuffed behind her back. The second trimester was less taxing than the first, but one of the worst parts about it was that there were very few positions that were comfortable for her.

"It was really great, me and Stefan danced all night, usually I have to convince him to dance! I'm posting photos on Facebook if you want to see, I'm sure Caroline will call tomorrow to tell you all about it and how her outfit turned out," Elena replies, and Bonnie laughed. "I wish you could've been there, Bon. It's not the same without you."

Bonnie had only told Elena about the pregnancy about a week ago, things still felt a little tentative but she was just happy to be talking to Elena again. She'd been peppered with many questions about why she left and what happened with Damon, Bonnie explained that she'd sent a letter to him explaining she was pregnant, and she had been ashamed to tell Elena about it. It hadn't necessarily been a lie, she was ashamed but just not for the reasons Elena believed to be true. It had taken a lot of convincing for her not to say anything to Stefan or Damon, but so far Elena had kept her promise to stay quiet about everything. The pain was still there, it ached more than she'd like to admit but it was hard to let go of someone she considered a sister.

"I wish I could've been there too, Elena. Maybe not with a baby bump though, I definitely wouldn't have enjoyed the stares. Every time I'm walking down the school hallways, there's always someone staring at me or asking me why I'm pregnant," Bonnie shuddered, and Elena tsked.

"Bon, I really don't know how you do it. I could never be as strong as you have been," Bonnie smiled bitterly at Elena's words; honestly, whenever Bonnie thought of herself, all that came to mind was pathetic.

"Yeah...also, I had an ultrasound a couple days ago. I wanted to tell you the news over the phone."

"Omigod, did you find out the sex!? What is it? Okay, I think it's a boy. Is it a boy? Now I'm not sure. Bonnie, is it a boy?"

"It's a girl," Bonnie giggled at Elena's joyful yells through the phone, earning a look from Aunt Emily who had clearly heard the noise from the call.

"A mini Bonnie! Congratulations, that's amazing, Bon. You're going to have the cutest little girl ever, I just know you will. Wow, that's really incredible. I'm so happy for you, what an amazing moment," Elena said earnestly, but it only made Bonnie feel upset for some reason.

"Yeah, I know it's great...Elena, can I call you back? Pregnancy calls, I gotta take some vitamins and maybe see if I need to pee," Bonnie lied, placing her hand on her belly in an effort to calm herself down. It helped to ground her to the baby, but it didn't seem to work as well this time.

"Yeah, of course, take your time! I'll be waiting. Congratulations again, Bonnie."

Bonnie blinked back tears, hanging up the phone and Aunt Emily looked up, something on Bonnie's face making her get up to sit beside her, wrapping an arm around Bonnie's shoulder.

"I know I shouldn't be crying, I should be staying strong for the baby but it's hard," Bonnie mumbled, feeling the tears spill over. "He should've been here for the ultrasound, he should be here for when we tell everyone. I know I was an idiot to believe our relationship was real, but I thought the baby would make him call or text at least. Why isn't he here, Aunt Emily? If not for me, why not for our daughter?"

PRESENT DAY: 2013

"Bonnie, this better be an emergency because this phone call is going to throw off my whole hangover routine. I technically shouldn't be up until noon!" Caroline huffs through the phone, her voice a little groggy.

"Sorry, I can call you back later," Bonnie says carefully, trying to keep her voice steady and casual.

"Ugh, well, It's fine...yeah, there's no need to call back. What's up? Oh, did you have a good time last night? You looked amazing, I'm so glad you were there to actually party with us!"

"I had a great time, Care. It was fun dancing with you and Tyler," Bonnie chews on her lip, "Also me and Damon almost kissed last night."

"What?"

"Well, Stefan interrupted us because you know, he was drunk and then we ended up kissing this morning," Bonnie explains quickly, waiting anxiously for Caroline's reaction.

"You…actually kissed Damon?"

"Um...yes."

The line is silent for a couple moments, and Bonnie clutches the phone even closer to her ear. Maybe calling Caroline for advice isn't such a great idea.

"Hello? Care, are you there?"

"I'm here, it's just...damn! Now I owe Stefan fifteen bucks. Well, at least Elena will owe me five. Crap, I really thought I had it," Caroline curses, and Bonnie lets out a startled laugh.

"You guys had a pool going?"

"Duh! Well, we started it like a week ago. I was so sure that you guys were going to kiss last night. Do you think that you could keep it a secret for another week so I can get my money's worth? Wait, but Stefan interfered! You were going to kiss, and he broke it up on purpose! Ooh, I am so going to kick his ass, there's no way I'm giving him my money now. Hold on, shouldn't you be making out with Damon right now or something?"

"Uh, I don't know. Things are kind of awkward right now between us. He came into my room this morning, he was looking for some Advil when he found this necklace, the one he'd given me as a gift when we were dating then we kissed...for a couple minutes, I think."

"A couple minutes? Bonnie, that kind of sounds like a makeout."

"All I know is that it's pretty awkward right now. He's not even here, he basically jumped at the chance to take Lila out this morning. I don't know what to do...I didn't want to complicate things between us, but that's clearly out of the way now."

"Hmm. Well, do you want to be with him?"

"Well, we have Lila so if things end badly between us, I don't want her caught in the middle, and he's coming to Atlanta! I don't want him to feel like he made a mistake moving there. You know, there's still so much that we don't know about each other, and there's so many hoops we have to jump through. He'll be living with us at my aunt's house, but if he finds a place, do I go with him if we're dating? What about work too, we've been trying to create a schedule since I'm still in school and Lila is still so young, but who knows how well it'll turn out."

"Okay, you're starting to sound a lot like me. Wow, normally you're the one calming me down! Is this what it feels like to be the rational one?"

"Care."

"Sorry! Okay, first of all, let's pretend all these other factors like Lila and school don't exist. It's just you and him. Do you want to be with him?"

"Yes. Yes, I do."

"Then there's your answer for what to do. Bonnie, there's always gonna be a million reasons for why you can't be with someone. It's true, you and Damon still have a long way to go, but everyone starts off that way! Besides, I think you and him have already conquered a lot. You guys have a daughter, you're on the same page about parenting and you're already talking about finances. Bon, I've barely talked to Tyler about half the stuff you and Damon have already done. Of course it's not going to be easy, but it's up to you to give it a shot. You choose what you believe is best for the both of you, and for Lila."

"Wow, how are you so philosophical while hungover?" Bonnie grins, feeling slightly melancholic all of a sudden.

"Post-drinking works wonders, Bonnie," Caroline jokes, and Bonnie knows she's smiling on the other end of the line. "Just take some time to think about you and Damon, if you really don't think it's a good idea to date, then say it was a one-time thing! It's not like you need to get married within a year, take it at whatever pace you want."

"Yeah, you're right. Thanks for your help, Care. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I know! I mean, I love you too. Let me know how everything goes, okay?"

"Of course. I'll talk to you later."

"See you, Bon."

Bonnie hangs up the phone, letting out a little sigh and twists her Grams's ring around her finger thoughtfully.

Damon shuts Bonnie's laptop, a relieved smile on his face and he moves closer to the edge of the couch, peering out the backdoor window. Lila and Bonnie are playing a game outside, laughter etched onto both of their faces and he can hear the faint sound of music, clearly coming from the radio Bonnie has brought outside. He knows he should tell Bonnie the good news about Uncle Zach, but he's feeling hesitant especially after their kiss yesterday. They still haven't talked about it yet, but he's caught her observing him with a pensive expression. It's unnerving him more than he can stand it. He suspects that she's just going to tell him that it's a mistake and a one time occurence, which is understandable but he's dreading hearing those words. He sucks in a breath, getting up from the couch; Bonnie's dad has already left to get pizza for dinner, and it's not like he has anything better to do.

"Hey you two!" Damon calls, stepping onto the porch and shutting the back door behind him. He jumps down the steps, sauntering toward a grinning Lila and quiet Bonnie.

"Daddy, are you coming to play?!" Lila exclaims excitedly, running forward to grab his hand and tug him towards their little spot in the backyard. He can hear the music clearly now, there's a catchy country song playing and there's two plastic cups of sweet tea on a small tray.

"Of course I am. What are we playing?"

"We're playing chef. I'm making food in my house, and you guys eat it," Lila announces, pointing a finger at the spot of grass next to Bonnie. "You sit right there, okay?"

"Yes, chef," Damon replies solemnly, earning a giggle from Lila and he sits down next to Bonnie; they're right next to Lila's playhouse at least, so the conversation will only be surface-level. Bonnie won't bring up their kiss in front of Lila (he's hoping she won't anyway).

"So, did you hear anything?" Bonnie asks nonchalantly, picking at a blade of grass.

"Yup. He's agreed to give me some money."

"Really?" Bonnie grins happily, "That's great! How much?"

"Somewhere in the 5000 to 8000 range. Even better news, it's not a loan, there's no need to pay him back either, surprisingly."

"Oh wow...I feel like I should send him a fruit basket or something. Did he say why?"

"No, I guess he was feeling pretty generous. It's just him now and my cousin Sarah, I haven't seen her in years but I know she's going to school in New York and maybe our situation reminded him of his family. Well, before my Aunt Gail passed away and when Sarah was little. We're still working everything out, but he's definitely agreed to send me the money. Granted, there was one condition."

"Oh? Should I expect something bad?"

"He said...that he would like us to visit him sometime," Damon answers gravely, earning a smack on the arm and eye roll from Bonnie.

"Jerk," she mumbles under her breath, and he chuckles. "Well, that's really good news. Just two more weeks, but things are already coming together. You're sure that you don't want to stay any longer?"

"Nah, it'll be good to go back now. I can take the summer to start working, things will be less hectic and we can work out the rest before you go back to school."

Bonnie takes a sip of her sweet tea and Lila skips over, holding out imaginary food; Damon pretends to gobble it up from her hands, eliciting a giggle. Bonnie does the same thing when Lila turns to her, her reaction is a little more exaggerated and Damon smiles for a sliver of a second, careful not to let either of them see it.

"Time for dessert!" Lila sings, running back into her playhouse.

"Hey, um, do you think we could talk later? About what happened, uh yesterday," Bonnie says, and he can feel her eyes on him but he just watches Lila pretend to make food.

"Sure, I guess, if you think it's necessary," Damon replies curtly.

"Oh, do you not believe we need to talk about it?"

"Well, it was just a one-time thing, right? No need to go over that."

"If that's what you want, then of course there's no need to discuss it," Bonnie says in a controlled voice, and he turns his head to look at her, feeling irritated.

"I never said I wanted it to be like that," Damon lowers his voice, "I'm doing this for you."

Bonnie gives him an indignant look, "I think I can decide on what-"

"Pizza's here!" Bonnie's dad calls, interrupting Bonnie's angry whisper and Damon gets up; he holds out a hand for Lila to grab, leading her inside and leaving Bonnie.

APRIL 2010

"Ah, look at that one, she's beautiful. Or her, the one with the blonde hair? I've always liked blondes, you know me. What about you, Damon? Take your pick, several girls have been eyeing you since we've arrived," Enzo said, casually glancing around the room and Damon took a sip of his drink.

"Not interested tonight," Damon replied flatly, and Enzo sighed.

"Come on, mate. You need to get over her, move on from it. She was just a high school girl, she's not the only fish in the sea!"

"I'd rather just drink, Enzo."

"No, no, just have a little fun! Go for a rebound, nothing serious! Find someone to fool around with, there are plenty of options. Forget about her."

Damon glared at Enzo, his hand clenched around his drink. He didn't say anything, electing to ignore his friend.

"Fine, do what you want," Enzo sighed, "I'll be around somewhere."

Enzo leaves Damon to brood, taking another sip of his drink. He didn't even want to go to a party tonight, Enzo had dragged him out because apparently he's been sulking too much. He just wanted to get properly drunk, and talk to no one. If anything, he wished he was back in his dorm. It'll be even worse when he has to go home for the summer tomorrow, and deal with his jackass father and Stefan the worrywart. He looked around the room again, almost glaring at everyone until he saw someone familiar.

"Bonnie?" he mumbled, squinting into the other room where a petite girl is standing, her hair hiding half her face and she's clearly talking to someone. He walked over to the other room, weaving past people and the girl seemed to be moving further and further away. "Bonnie! Bonnie!"

He's almost right behind her, reaching a hand forward to tap her shoulder. "Bonnie! What are you-"

"Sorry, are you talking to me?" the girl turned around, eyeing Damon curiously. Damon felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, pain blooming in his chest and he lowered his eyes.

"My bad, you looked like someone I knew," he replied, trying not to sound despondent.

"No worries. My name is Joanne," she smiled; she did look a little like Bonnie, but her hair is too dark, her eyes aren't even green, they're hazel but it'll have to do. He smirked at her, knowing that with a couple more drinks, he can pretend that Bonnie was kissing him again.

PRESENT DAY: 2013

"The answer is what is Sicily," Alex Trebek says, and Damon scoffs.

"Idiots," he comments under his breath, folding his arms as he watches Jeopardy. Bonnie's dad is working again, and Bonnie is putting Lila down for bed; dinner was a little weird, Bonnie was pretty quiet but maybe she was still angry or feeling embarrassed. It had been an odd conversation, but she'll probably be over it by tomorrow. As if right on cue, footsteps echo down the hallway and Damon turns his head to see Bonnie walking towards him with her jaw set and a determined expression. She glances at the TV, grabbing the remote quickly and turns it off. "I was watching that, you know."

"Really? That's all you have to say?" Bonnie snaps, and Damon narrows his eyes.

"Should I be saying something else to you?" Damon replies, and Bonnie rolls his eyes, crossing her arms with a vexed expression. "What is your problem?"

"My problem is that you just blew me off earlier! You didn't bother listening to anything I had to say."

"It wasn't my intention to make you feel like I was blowing you off, I was just trying to make things easier for you."

"Damon, I don't need you to decide these things for me, I can make these choices for myself! If I need you to do something for me or whatever, then I will tell you."

"Okay, okay, you're right. I'm sorry, that's my mistake, I should've just let you speak. I just thought it would be better if we didn't have some stupid conversation about us," Damon concedes, thinking they're about to patch things up but instead Bonnie recoils like she's just been slapped.

"Is that what it is to you? Some stupid conversation?"

"What? No! I just don't want to hear you say it was a mistake, okay?"

"I'm sorry, what on earth makes you think that I believe our kiss was a mistake?" Bonnie shoots at him, and Damon goes silent, quickly realizing that he's a moron. But there's an odd feeling spreading throughout his body, he's not sure if it's fear or something akin to happiness.

"Do you not want this to be a one-time thing?" Damon asks, his voice almost at a whisper.

"Look, I've had a lot of time to think about this. I know we have Lila, and you moving to Atlanta to be with us is a whole other set of obstacles but what happened yesterday...I don't think I could forget about it even if I wanted to," Bonnie takes a couple tentative steps forward, sitting down on the coffee table. "If you want to do this, you and me, then we go extremely slow. I don't want Lila to get caught in the middle or be part of our drama if things crash and burn between us. Lila's happiness is the most important thing to me, and I don't want to mess up our relationship either. We already have a good thing going right now, and I want you to be in my life no matter what. So, if you think this is too risky, just say the word and we can forget this ever happened, no bad blood."

"Okay."

"Uhh, okay what?" Bonnie asks slowly, looking nervous and Damon reaches forward, wrapping his hands around hers gently; he examines her closely, watching the anxious look on her face fade and morph into something entirely different.

"Okay, let's do this. You and me, let's give it a shot."

"Really? I mean, that's it? No need to think about it, or call Stefan for advice?" she asks hesitantly, staring at him sharply but he shakes his head.

"Nope, I've already thought about this and made my decision. Besides, I've been waiting a long time to do this."

"To do what?" she frowns, tilting her head slightly in confusion and he releases his hands from hers, wrapping them around her waist. He pulls her off the coffee table and onto the couch, pressing his body against hers and kisses her jaw, her hands wrapped around his neck. She laughs, the vibration resounding through his body and for the briefest movement, seemingly touching his heart as well. "And you're okay with going slow? For Lila's sake, so we can think things through properly and also so I don't end up having anymore surprise children."

"We will move at a microscopic pace and be extra careful," Damon reassures her, caressing her back lightly. "It's going to be hard for me to let you go, though."

Bonnie grins, staring at him warmly and places a hand on his cheek. He leans into the touch, relishing the feeling and knows that everything has changed. "I'm not going anywhere, Damon."

A/N: Only wholesome goodness from here :)

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