Summary: Killian has had enough, and decides to find out what happened at the diner. The results aren't good! A worried Regina goes to see her distraught friend to make a long-overdue confession.
The Swan-Jones house – the following morning
Killian was worried. Last night, after he'd got home from his evening shift, it was to find Emma had already gone to bed. It was only eight o' clock. Fortunately, little Hope was also in bed with her. She'd clearly been crying heavily, as plenty of used tissues lay strewn on her side of the bed.
He'd tried talking to her, but she'd remained motionless, just looking at the wall. He asked her whether Hope had been fed. No answer. He lifted his little girl out, changed her, and finally settled her in her cot. Knowing that Emma hadn't been working that day, and wondering what had happened, he called Snow.
"No Killian, I haven't seen her since yesterday. She told me about seeing Archie Hopper and the medication, and we had a long talk. But when she left, she seemed better. Why, what's happened?"
"That's what I want to know! She's lying upstairs, completely catatonic. Snow, I'm worried!"
"I thought she was taking Hope to Ashley's nursery this morning? Then having lunch with Regina? After that, I've no idea, Killian."
"I'd better ring the hospital. Perhaps it's the tablets they've given her? She could have have had a reaction."
"Good idea. You ring them as you're her next of kin, and they might give you the information. How about I ring Archie and Regina? They might know something."
Ten minutes later, he'd tracked down an on-call doctor at the hospital, who had asked him to read the label on her prescription.
"I've just checked the on-screen notes, Mr. Jones, and everything seems to check out. The medication your wife received is quite mild, as the doctor wanted to ensure that there was no bad reaction. They don't cause drowsiness, and she should be only taking one a day, in the morning. I'll ask Doctor Penny to call you when she comes on duty tomorrow, if that helps?"
Fifteen minutes later, Snow rang back." I spoke to Archie! Obviously, he wouldn't tell me what he and Emma discussed on their session, but he said when the doctor rang him, it was only to ask whether he agreed with the medicine she was prescribing. He said it was the weakest dose and should be a mild stimulant, not a depressant. Apparently, it shouldn't even kick in for a few days! So that shouldn't be the problem."
"And Regina?"
"She said she was already worried! She said she met her at Granny's, and Emma told her about what was going on. But she suddenly upped and left, not evening stopping for their food. Claimed she had to be somewhere else, but didn't say where. Odd, because I know Emma looks forward to their lunches!"
"Could I ask a small favour? I don't want to leave her alone, so, could one of you come over in the morning to keep an eye on her? I need to see someone."
"Sure. I'll have a word with David. I'll be over first thing."
That was last night. Snow, as good as her word, arrived earlier than expected, around seven thirty.
"Is she any better?"
"Not really, no. She's out in the kitchen, staring out the window, and hasn't spoken. Hope's going to wake shortly, so…"
"I've got it. Go! I want to know what's happened, too. Perhaps she might talk to me? Either way, I'll take care of them!"
Last night, despite Snow's call, he decided to text Regina:
Killian Jones: I need to talk to you. About Emma. It's urgent! I'll be over at eight tomorrow.
But unbeknown to him, for the last few days, Regina had started switching her phone off overnight.
Mifflin Street
Marian sat at the kitchen worktop, in one of Regina's cotton dressing gowns, sipping a large mug of tea. Regina sat opposite, drinking black coffee.
"I still think tea's a heathen drink! Forced on us by you British. Robin once said to me, "You lot aren't civilized enough to detect and appreciate the finer things. The tea you sell over here is weaker than gnat's piss, and the coffee's not much better! Cheeky sod!" the pair chuckled together.
"It's an acquired taste, best made very strong. Personally, I can't imagine a morning without it!"
Since their first, successful, albeit too short, attempt at sex two nights ago, they'd left it at that. They both wanted to go further, but something was holding them back. Possibly the knowledge that Robin was watching? They didn't know, but neither wanted to push it, and possibly ruin, whatever was starting to build between them. Instead they agreed they would wait till a time when both felt comfortable. However, they still shared a bed, still kissed and cuddled enthusiastically, waking up entwined in each other's arms, as they had now done for three nights in a row. Robin and Roland were constantly on their minds, especially knowing their former lover's soul could possibly be trapped for eternity somehow. It just wasn't fair! They'd even shared tears over his plight.
"So, Monday? Gina, you think we're ready?"
"I guess. Frankly, I'm worried we're in the hands of Merlin and Rumpelstiltskin! I mean, I know Merlin's the good guy, and supposedly his magic is far more powerful than mine, but when it comes down to it, I like running things my own way. As for the imp, well, he's a law unto himself! I should know, he taught me everything I ever knew!"
"Why do you keep calling him the imp? He's not that short. In some ways, he's quite dashing…"
"Please, never let me hear you say that again! I-"
She was interrupted by the loud banging of the heavy brass knocker on the front door!
"What the hell?"
"That must be the one-handed wonder! Everyone else uses the doorbell. But not him! What the hell does he want so early?"
Pulling her robe together and tying it, she walked to the door to be greeted by the self-same former pirate. "Regina..." he said, stony-faced, ambling in before he was invited.
"Hook…wait!" she said, closing it behind him, "I've got a visitor! You can't just barge in!"
He spotted Marian at the worktop as he trudged in. He already spotted the open dressing gown, similar to Regina's, that she was wearing, but now also noticed she sported a rather fetching ivory silk, and decidedly short, nightie. Regina seemed to be wearing something similar. Once upon a time, he might have drooled at the delectable sight, but not now.
"Hello, love. Sorry to disturb you, ladies, but I need to talk to Regina rather urgently. It can't wait!"
"Guyliner, you do know how to use a phone these days?"
"I do indeed, but I've always found it helpful when the recipient can be bothered to turn it on! Always helps them read texts too, I understand?"
"Would you like me to leave?" asked Marian.
"No need, love. I'll be quite quick, before leaving you to do whatever you were doing. Regina, I sent you a text last night, and two voice messages, asking you to call me as a matter of urgency, regarding Emma!"
"Emma? Why, what's happened?"
"That's what I want to find out! Suffice to say, I came home last night, to find my wife catatonic, almost paralyzed with grief! She's hardly spoken a word since and, according to Snow, she said you were one of the last people to see her before she came home. What happened?"
"Well…nothing, as far as I can tell. I met her at the diner for lunch. She said she was consulting Hopper, and she'd been unhappy…"
"With me? With her home life? I know about the cricket, and the medication. I gather this is a post pregnancy related thing, but…yesterday morning she was brighter. She even wanted us to book a holiday! She left home more cheerful, with Hope, and I come home to find her in a vegetative state, having clearly been crying. So can you be more specific? What happened once you saw her?"
Regina was normally hostile when spoken to in that way but, she could see his tone was more of worry than anger. "I don't remember, specifically. We sat talking for a couple of minutes. She was feeding Hope at the table. I was distracted and…the next minute I know, she smashed a cup and ran out on me, not even staying for lunch and saying she just remembered she had forgotten something!"
"And what happened when you were distracted?"
"Well…I guess I saw Marian come in, I stood up to greet her, and then…the cup smashed!"
Killian looked at the pair, noticing something. The way they were dressed, the elaborate lingerie peeking out from under dressing gowns, the fact they were still sitting, drinking at eight in the morning. Then he remembered what he'd seen two nights ago.
"Did you two by any chance kiss, when you greeted one another?"
"What? I hardly think it's any of-"
"DID YOU KISS?" he yelled. "Oh for heaven's sake, answer the bloody question, god dammit! I know you two are in a relationship! I saw the two of you kissing like horny schoolgirls, on Tuesday night in Barn Lane! I was there in the patrol car! Look, I don't give a shit whether you're in a relationship, or not! Sexual or otherwise. But I need to know, DID EMMA SEE YOU TWO KISS?"
Regina glared angrily, rearing up for a blistering response, but Marian jumped in:
"She may have seen us kiss. But it was on the cheek! Why is that relevant?"
"Because my wife, who's currently suffering from depression, has been in love with your new girlfriend for longer than I care to mention! Shit - that's it! That's why! I need to go…"
Without another word, he turned, walking away and out of the house, slamming the door behind him, leaving the two of them confused.
The Swan-Jones house
"Emma, please talk to me?" Snow was horrified by the state of her daughter. Since she'd arrived, she still hadn't said a word. She just sat there, looking out of her kitchen window, rarely blinking. She'd tried to ask her what was wrong, but she hardly acknowledged she was even there!
She jumped when she heard the front door open, Killian walking in. "Any news?"
"Aye. I think I have a notion. Do you think you could go check on Hope?"
"Of course, Killian, but I-"
"Just a few minutes alone please, Snow?" The woman nodded, stepping out towards the stairs. Killian looked down on his wife. The woman he fell in love with, marrying nearly three years ago. The woman who gave birth to their beloved daughter a year ago. Instead of going to her, he pulled out a chair and sat down opposite, gathering his thoughts. He sighed loudly before starting.
"Here's the thing, love. I'm over three centuries old. I've seen many things. But in all those years, I've never once asked someone for their hand in marriage! I love you. I think I've probably been in love with you since the day we met. I pursued you, and despite all our trials and tribulations, I finally won you. The day you told me you were in love with me, was probably the happiest day of my life."
Emma started blinking. Was any of this getting through?
"In all that time, I knew others had your heart. And I'm not just talking about Baelfire and Henry!"
Her jaw dropped slightly, eyes dropping. "The death of Henry's father was indeed a tragic loss. But even then, there was someone else, apart from your son and your parents, who held sway over your heart. A certain queen."
She blinked again. Her head twisting, just a fraction towards his voice. But she still said nothing.
"I know what unrequited love feels like, Swan, only too well. The burn of it fades, but it never entirely leaves you. Never. I've lost in love before, for many reasons, mostly of my own doing. However, I've never lost it after I've fully committed to someone body and soul, as I have with you, Swan!"
For a brief instant, her head twitched again, her eyes lifting up to him, before dropping.
"Now you can deny it all you want, but I always knew that, whatever your feelings for me, your heart always pulled to another. Put simply, I always suspected something over the years, but my blind love for you got in the way. This week I've had it brutally confirmed. You're in love with Regina Mills."
"Killian..." she finally croaked, but fell silent once more.
"Enough, Swan. This is too painful, even for an old survivor like me. I love you too much to see you in this torment. So, I'm going to release you from your obligations..."
Now he had her full attention! "Killian, you don't understand."
"Oh, I understand too well love! You're in love with another. I always thought it was possible one day that I could lose you to her, as I always knew she too held more than esteem for you. That esteem has only increased over the last three years, particularly after the death of her true love. I knew all about what occurred between the two of you in the Rabbit Hole six months ago, but I held my peace, thinking it merely a result of inebriation. I knew, Emma! Three people came to me with the information, so please don't seek to deny anything."
Tears began to run down Emma's cheeks, but she still listened in silence.
"Sadly, for you, it appears over the last few days, that the queen has begun a fairly passionate relationship with the Lady Marian. I left them at the mansion but a short time ago. I saw them engaging in something the other day. I believe you saw something which, coupled with your recent malaise, left you utterly heartbroken. As I now feel!"
Emma dropped her face into her open hands, her eyes closing tightly.
"However, we have a child, Emma. A wonderful child who, over the last few months, you have cruelly disregarded. I cannot allow her to remain in such an environment, lacking the love of a mother. So I intend to take a few days away, with her, to think what I need to do, while you come to terms with what you really want! I will not separate you from her, but it seems I need to be separated from you. I'm going to pack this morning, for a few days on the Jolly. We'll speak in due course."
Emma still stayed silent, unmoving, as he slowly stood, turning and walking out of the room. Past a slack-jawed, shocked Snow, who'd been listening outside the door.
"Killian!" said Snow as he emerged, "You can't possibly mean that? She's your wife!"
He turned slowly, a tear in his eye, "In name only, Snow. In name only."
Mifflin Street
She couldn't believe his words to Marian! 'My wife…in love with your girlfriend?' Emma was in love…with me?
Regina felt almost sick, when she realized the implications of his words. Emma was in love with me? My best friend! Regina had become very close to Henry's birth mother over the last few years. So close that she didn't notice?
She'd always had strong feelings for the annoying blonde, but never imagined it was reciprocated. It started after Neverland. But Gold's son was there. And it was clear Emma was still very much attached to him, despite what he'd put her through. After he'd died, the pirate pressed his case, and Emma's heart was taken. Then Robin! Her thief, her True Love, arrived, and there was no competition. But – Emma still had strong feelings for her?
And honestly, she still loved Emma.
That evening in the Rabbit Hole had been a mistake. Nothing much, just slurred dedications of their devotion to each other, and Henry, after too much drink. Regina had started it. She'd said something about finally realising the woman did always have her back, always believing her, despite everything she'd done. There'd been a moment, when their eyes met. Then she'd leant in and kissed the Saviour. Kissed her like her life depended on it. And Emma had responded in kind! What had started as a simple sign of affection had turned into something more heated, as tongues entwined and hands roamed over each other, even as they sat in a small corner of the nightclub. A barwoman had appeared. "Ladies, could you take that outside, please? Or we've got some rooms upstairs!" A few people nearer the bar must have seen, as they heard laughter at her words. They stopped and calmed. But the moment was not forgotten by either of them, and they subsequently put it down to drink and agreed never to speak of it again.
A voice pulled her from her thoughts. "I take it you didn't realize? I'm surprised, to be honest!"
"Sorry – what?"
"Emma. You didn't realise she was in love with you? I thought it was obvious, judging by the look on her face!"
"What look? What are you saying?"
"The look on her face when I came in and kissed you. She looked heartbroken. I've seen it before. Hell, I've even been there myself! It was fairly obvious. I feel quite sorry for her husband. If he's known for some time, that's got to hurt!"
Emma. My friend. What have I done to her? "I need to get dressed. Sorry, I need to go."
Marian saw worry etched on her face. He looked distraught. Did she have feelings for Emma too? She knew now was not the moment to raise them.
"I understand. I'll clear up here. Don't worry about me…"
Regina raced up the stairs to change, knowing never to use magic when you're feeling upset or emotional!
"We'll be on the Jolly. Best text me, as I'll be off shore." The Captain had quickly packed a large backpack, mainly full of Hope's overnight things. Snow stood, pleading with him.
"Killian, please wait? Emma, she's not well!"
"Aye, love. But there's more to it than that. I'll come back in a couple of days. Don't worry, I'll bring her back. I just need time to clear my head. To spend time with my girl. The one who loves me…"
"YOU KNOW EMMA LOVES YOU!"
"I once thought that, Snow. Now, I'm really no longer sure!" he turned, collecting his truck keys, before lifting the car seat to leave, before stopping.
"I do love her, Snow, that's the problem! But I can't share her. I can't play third wheel to an unrequited romance. I'll see you later…"
As she heard the car leave, Snow's tears started falling. Her daughter's marriage apparently over.
She picked up her phone, waiting urgently for him to pick up. "David? David, you've got to get over here! Something's happened!"
The Swan-Jones house
It was a good hour before the Mercedes pulled up outside Emma's. She'd broken down in floods of tears twice. Once in the bedroom. Once just before she left. But she had to see her. Ringing the doorbell, she was surprised when Snow answered. The crop-haired woman had clearly been crying herself. And she guessed she knew what about!
"Regina…come in."
"How is she?"
"Not so good. David's with her. They're in the lounge. I've got Neal here, upstairs in the playroom."
"And Hope?"
"She's not here. He's taken her…"
"HE'S WHAT?" she glared. "He's taken her?"
"On the Jolly. For a few days. He said he'll be back, once he decides what to do!"
"He's leaving her?" Regina couldn't believe her ears. The pirate would leave her? The man who obsessed, pandered and fought for her, was leaving her?
"We don't know yet. We'll see. He looked…devastated."
Probably because of me. Emma's marriage might be over because of me! "May I go through?"
Snow slowly nodded, moving away from the door. Regina tentatively stepped into the large lounge.
The sight before her broke her heart. David was sitting in the middle of the sofa, cradling his adult daughter, who lay, still in her bed shorts and top, with her head on his chest, his large arms gathered protectively around her. Her normally beautiful, shiny blonde hair looked lank and lifeless, and her skin had an almost grey pallor.
She stepped cautiously closer. "Emma?"
"GET OUT! I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!" The longest sentence she'd uttered all morning.
"Emma, please?"
"JUST GO!" she pulled tighter into her father, who pressed his lips to the top of her head, looking up at her with a red-eyed smile. Even Prince Charming was emotional.
"It might be best if you left, Regina. Till later…" his only words.
She looked down at the pathetic figure. I did this!
But she wasn't going to give up that easily, even though she felt tears starting to well up. "No. I'm going to stay…until we've talked. I'm not leaving."
"JUST FUCK OFF!" she screamed. "I HATE YOU!"
That hurt! From Emma, that really hurt more than she expected. "I'm truly sorry. I had no idea..." She looked into David's sad eyes, and it was clear he already had some idea what was going on. Snow too, probably.
So she decided there and then. No more secrets. It had been going on too long. Even though her parents were in front of them, enough was enough! She knelt down directly in front of them. The blonde stiffened.
"I love you too, Emma! I've been in love with you for a very long time. But I never had the courage, when I could, and should, have told you. I never had the courage after we got Henry back from Neverland. I never had the courage after Neal died. I'm a coward, Emma!"
As tears started to fall, she wiped them away. But she had to carry on. "I was terrified to tell you I'd fallen in love with you, because I was certain you would reject me! Of course you would. I was the Evil Queen and you were the Saviour. I was evil and you were pure. Emma, you've always been too good for me!" A hand appeared, Snow's probably, handing her several tissues. She continued as she wiped her now snotty nose and tears. "I loved you, but knew I could never have you for myself. Then Robin came, and quite honestly, I fell head over heels in love with him. And by that time, you and Killian had also become closer. After Robin was killed, I despaired. I even thought of ending it, taking my own life! You know what stopped me? You. And Henry. You made me see I had to carry on…" she stopped to blow her nose. From behind, it sounded like Snow was in tears too.
"I never stopped loving you. Then, when you married Killian, I knew I had to step away. Even more so, when I found out you were pregnant! I missed my time, because I was a coward. I love you Emma, but we cannot be together, because you have a husband and a daughter, and I know just how much you love them. They have to come first! But never doubt my love for you. You are, and always will be, an awful lot more than my best friend. Even if we can't be together." she stopped, exhausted, as Emma slowly lifted her head up to her face her. She looked wretched.
"I don't hate you. I'm sorry!"
"And I'm sorry for being a coward. For not telling you, that I fell in love with you."
Emma took one of her tear stained tissues to rub over her own cheeks. "I think I started falling in love with you, when you were ready to sacrifice yourself with that fail-safe diamond in the mine."
"I think that's when I started to fall for you too. You were willing to join me…"
"I almost told you in New York," Emma sniffled. "Just after Robin died. I knew I could never compare to him. True Love, and all that stuff! It's one of the reasons I never really tried to get to know him."
"He would have understood. He was surprisingly tolerant." She gave a sad smile.
"So now – you and his wife? Marian?"
"It's early days. We're both a little nervous. But, I'm hopeful…"
"You love her?"
"I think so. We seem to be good for each other. I see so much of Roland in her."
Emma finally gave a sad smile of her own. "I'm glad. You deserve some happiness. Does Henry know?"
"Not yet. We were going to hold off till we get back. Provided we get back! Anyway, to more important things. You and Killian?"
"I'm definitely in love with him. He's wonderful. But he's no longer in love with me. I pushed him away. Over the edge…"
"I refuse to believe that!"
"It's true. He's left me, and I can't say I blame him. Seems he's known about you and me for months. Remember that drunk night in the Rabbit Hole?"
"He knew about that?"
"Three people told him. It only confirmed his suspicions. He's better off without me. So's Hope."
"That, Swan, is bullshit! You say you still love him?"
"More than anything!"
"Then you know what you have to do. Talk to him! And let Archie open up those walls of yours. Finish the medication and for god's sake, have a bath! I mean, damn Emma?"
For the first time in days, Emma laughed. She stood up from her father, facing her. Regina also stood. "Thanks. For finally being honest with me." She brought her hands up, resting them on the brunette's waist. "For telling me what I needed to hear."
Regina rested her own palms on the blonde. "You're very welcome. Though we can't be together as a couple, always know that I love you, Emma Swan-Jones!"
"And I love you, Regina Mills!" she leaned forward to press their lips together in a light kiss, for no more than a second. Their eyes met and an intense look passed between them. "Isn't it a shame, that we're not allowed to love more than one person at a time?"
"Hmm. Try telling Mulan and the Briars? They know all about that!"
A voice came from behind her, breaking their moment. "The Briars and Mulan? They're together?"
Regina closed her eyes, sighing. "Shit, I was supposed to keep that quiet!"
"You do realise, we've just confessed our feelings in front of my parents?"
"I'm sure I have a spare forgetting potion in the vault."
"Don't even try it!" said David. "I intend to remind you of this every time you two have a falling out!"
Emma looked back into her eyes. "Best friends?"
"Best friends forever! And perhaps just a little bit more."