Hey Sol,

We're in the Sol system – it makes me think of you and how the kids used to tease you about your "human" name. The Commander received yet another snippet of intelligence from one of her admirals about a problem in need of cleaning up. I'm under the impression this one was more of an order and less of a friendly request—which, as a Spectre, she could absolutely choose to ignore. But the Commander chose to follow it up anyhow. Because, well…of course she did.

I've never seen Earth before today, except for the vids. We were actually heading to Luna, the only moon. As we approached, I decided to wander up to the bridge, since it has the only external windows on board. The Commander was already there, arms crossed across her chest as she loomed behind her pilot's seat. Her pilot kept rolling his eyes pointedly up at her, but she ignored him. Surprisingly, Dr. T'Soni was there too. Other than when we rescued her from Therum, I've barely spent any time with the doctor. She seems to rarely exit her makeshift lab, and she and I haven't ended up on the same ground team yet. Trying to be friendly, I nodded to her as I tried to squeeze past for a view out the window.

"Yeah, yeah, why doesn't everybody come on into my space?" the pilot muttered. "It's a regular party up here."

The Commander slipped into the co-pilot's seat to make more room. She frowned at the instrument panel.

"Aren't your vectors a bit off, Joker?"

He grinned.

"Maybe a little. Thought Earth deserved a fly-by. I mean, that's why you're all here, isn't it?"

The Commander raised her eyebrows.

"I don't know about these two," she said, giving the asari and me a mock-dismissive wave. "I'm here to personally ensure you're actually flying the ship and not doing…whatever it was you were doing last time I was up here."

"Hey, it was an explosives ordination detection simulator! That could be a useful skill."

The Commander rolled her eyes and snorted. The pilot—Joker—cleared his throat.

"Well, never mind…because here's the moment you've all been waiting for!" the pilot announced.

Joker reached over to the instrument panel and began slapping his hands on it in a rapid-fire pattern – then stopped abruptly, making a "ksssssh" sound with his voice.

Wondering if he was having some sort of medical episode, I looked at the Commander, but she was shaking her head in what I took to be amusement and not panic. So then I looked at Dr. T'Soni to see if she understood the gesture, because I certainly didn't. Her eyes met mine and she gave a small shrug, accompanied by a bemused smile. I chuckled. Sometimes, on a ship filled with humans, I guess it isn't a bad thing to remember you aren't the only "alien" on board.

Dr. T'Soni placed a hand on the back of the Commander's seat, leaning over her shoulder to look out the window. Earth rose into view: rising from beyond the window's edge. The colours were striking: the blues of the oceans, the greens of the landmasses, and the bright white of the swirling clouds looked almost manufactured – like the palette a child might pick to draw their own planet. It didn't look anything like Palavan, with its burnished spectrum of greys.

"It's beautiful," the doctor gasped.

The Commander flashed her a rare grin. Then, as Dr. T'Soni continued to stare out the window as if transfixed, the Commander's expression grew contemplative.

"I've always wondered what it's like for people who grew up there."

My gaze flicked over to Joker, but he shrugged.

"Don't ask me. I'm a colony kid, myself. Tiptree."

"You aren't from Earth?" Dr. T'Soni asked her, her voice pitched low.

The Commander shook her head.

"Grew up here. Shipside, I mean. To me, Earth has always been a view through a porthole window. We ended up in its orbits often to transfer supplies up or down the gravity well, but I never actually made it groundside until enlisting." Her eyes were locked on the planet below us now, but her gaze was distant. I hadn't noticed before, but her eyes were almost the exact same shade as the oceans of her planet.

"But, you know," she said, frowning slightly, "when I was a kid, Earth was this almost…mystical place. When I was eighteen and heading groundside for the Academy, I'd decided to prepare myself for disappointment. Figured it couldn't possibly be as…as special…as I had believed it to be when I was growing up."

"And…?" Liara prompted quietly.

The Commander smiled at her in response. That was two smiles, now, in about as many minutes. Had to be some sort of record for the Commander.

"I was wrong," she said, shrugging. "It wasn't disappointing. Maybe it's not as…bright…once you're on the ground. Or…" she looked thoughtful again. "…or maybe it is. It's just that the scale shifts. The water doesn't look as blue this close up, the landscape isn't as green, but then you see the spectrum of colours in the animals or the flowers or even the artificial brightness of the cities. When I shipped back out after the Academy, everything in space was grey and subdued in a way I never could have noticed growing up. As if something came along and toned down the colours on everything."

Her eyes flicked over to the doctor's face: her expression was soft. Maybe even a little uncertain. I'd never seen her look like that before. I shifted my feet, suddenly feeling like I was eavesdropping.

"I hope I get to see if someday," Dr. T'Soni offered, her gaze not leaving the window.

"I hope you do too," the Commander muttered, almost too low to hear.

Then, she cleared her throat, sitting up higher in the co-pilot's chair.

"Yeah…too bad you only get to see Luna this time around, Doctor." Joker chimed in. "It's pretty…umm…stark. Nothing but rocks. Grey rocks. Oh. And cheese."

"Cheese?" I asked, wondering if my translator had glitched.

Joker blurted out a "hah!" and the Commander rolled her eyes before turning to Dr. T'Soni.

"Ready to suit up?"

"Yes, of course."

"Joker, tell Tali to meet us at the Mako, will you?"

The pilot obliged and the two left the cockpit together.

I decided to dive into the awkward silence that followed.

"So…" I began.

But I didn't get any further than that before Joker shot a conspiratorial glance back over his shoulder and immediately blurted out:

"I know, right! Shep's got it bad for the asari! I mean, not that I blame her, but –"

It took me a second to realize who 'Shep' was, but I cut in as soon as I caught up.

"Huh. Interesting. I was going to say that it's pretty clear Dr. T'Soni has a…how do you humans put it?...'thing' for the Commander. You think the Commander reciprocates?"

Joker looked positively thrilled—and surprised— I wasn't going to douse his rampaging gossip. I imagine that most of his Alliance crewmates would shut down this kind of talk immediately. Alenko would, for one. And Williams had made her feelings about aliens very clear from the beginning. She couldn't be anything except offended by this line of reasoning.

I felt a pang of guilt. I'd only meant to ask from an investigative point-of-view. Dr. T'Soni had – so far – proven herself to be a valuable asset to the investigation. And if being jilted by the Commander compromised her continued cooperation, it could jeopardize the mission. I had merely wanted to compare observations with Joker. I hadn't imagined that the Commander actually returned the doctor's feelings.

"Oh, definitely," he continued. "I mean, are you sure about Liara…it's hard to tell with asari, isn't it?"

"Not really," I offered mildly. "I don't want to generalize, but asari come across as pretty…cold…towards anyone who doesn't interest them. On any level – not just a relationship one."

"I guess you've probably spent more time with asari than I have, so I'll trust your judgment on this one. I wonder if Kaiden knows."

"Alenko? Why would that matter?"

"Oh, he's definitely smitten too."

"With the Dr. T'Soni?"

"No, no, with the Commander. Keep up, will you?"

"He is?"

I quietly resolved to dig up some C-Sec tutorials on human social cues. How much of this had I been missing?

"Yeah, he has no idea what to do about it. Poor thing. I mean, it would be against regulations to start anything…so confessing to her is probably only going to get him re-assigned."

"Why?"

"Relationships with a superior officer is generally frowned upon. What, it's not with turians?"

"Why would it be?"

"It's not obvious? The officer could be accused of, you know, favoritism. It's especially dangerous in a military context, right? Lots of hard calls. This really isn't an issue for turians?"

I tilted my head, considering.

"It probably happens. I can imagine there have been the occasional situation. But most turians would simply request a transfer if that was in danger of happening. Favouring one soldier over another simply doesn't make any sense. It could put lives in danger. Most turians would treat the soldier according to their rank and not by their relationship."

"Wow. Now that's cold. So you're telling me a turian wouldn't hesitate to send a soldier they were sleeping with into a situation where they knew they would die?"

I shrugged.

"You have heard our imperial anthem, haven't you?"

"Can't say I have…"

I leaned over to the co-pilot's console and synced to my visor. I cued up a translation program that would run a translation across this viewscreen. He lasted about halfway through (until "I may burn, but my energy will join/Palavan's spirit and irradiate the hearts of the enemies") before he muttered a human curse and I shut it down.

"That was special. Thanks for the nightmares, Garrus."

He mock-shivered.

"I don't care for it much myself," I confessed.

That's been a lifelong secret of mine – something I would never admit to another turian – maybe not even to you, Sol. Definitely not to Dad. However, as I expected, my treasonous words went right over Joker's head. He merely looked curious – not appalled.

"I can't help but feel like…well…" I struggled to explain. "…if you have to die for the cause, you've screwed up somewhere. The mission has failed before you've begun. I refuse to accept there would ever be a situation where the choice is your life or another's death. There has got to be third option, another strategy to get you out. You just haven't found it yet."

"Yeah, I'm with you on that one, Garrus. It ain't over 'til it's over."

"Hmm. A human phrase? I like that one. It makes sense. Unlike that cheese and moon thing."

"Speaking of which," Joker said, banishing the lingering lyrics with a swipe of his hand, "I gotta get ready to drop the ladies on Luna."

It wasn't until I was back down in the cargo bay (which felt strangely empty without the Mako) that I realized that Joker and I had somehow ended up on first-name basis by the time that conversation ended.

Look at me, Sol: making friends among the humans. Dad would be so proud.

- G.

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