I know I said that I'd try to get back into writing more but it's been hard. I've been putting most of my energy into writing a novel (Did someone say lesbians with swords?) so I haven't had a lot of time for this fanfic. Ya boi also has Covid and every breath is a struggle right now. Hopefully it'll clear up in a few days but right now it's annoying. Remember to stay safe and mask up, kids.
Several alarms blared, obnoxiously loud, through the whole facility. They each had their own shrill scream but at different beats and cadences. They all blended together to make the most unholy cacophony. The screams of hell would probably be a softer sound than this. It set Fury's teeth on edge and he was very close to contemplating murder.
He had not had a very good month. What with losing Dr. Banner and strange energy surges that led to nothing. Then there was that upheaval in Kiev and Baltimore that were somehow connected. And his agents all seemed to be useless as well.
Just as they were finally getting somewhere with the Tesseract, this happened. The universe seemed in no way inclined to rectify itself and give him good results for once. This piercing annoyance was just the cherry on the cake.
"Will someone please tell me what the fuck that noise is?" He shouted at the wide eyed scurrying lab assistant's.
The unfortunate one that caught his eye looked like a deer in headlights. "Er...I don't really know, sir. All the alarms are going off at once. Radiation, Fire, Intruder, Electrical surge, Flooding, Bear attack-" They stopped listing at the sight of Fury's glare. He may only have one eye but he could out glare Satan if he wanted to. " none of the levels have been reached for any of them to go off sir,"
"Then why are they on!" He shouted, very much at the end of his tether.
"I. I don't know sir but most of the facility has already evacuated...should we do the same?"
Fury turned to look at Selvig and the Tesseract. The strange fluctuations were still happening. If they left now they may never find out it's secrets. And SHIELD were depending on this.
"No," He said resolutely "No one in this room leaves. Everyone outside can evacuate if they wish but we finish what we're doing."
The worker visibly deflated but conceded anyway "As you say sir,"
"And can someone turn those fucking alarms off?!"
oOo
"Did it work?" Bruce asked.
Tony looked almost offended. "Is that doubt I hear in your voice? Shame on you Bruce. My girl FRIDAY deserves better than that."
Bruce crossed his arms "A simple yes or no would be fine,"
"Fine yes it worked. FRIDAY worked her way into the SHIELD facility and set off every single alarm that they have. The assholes won't even be able to detect her," He laughed.
"Are you sure this won't change anything too much? What if they leave the Tesseract alone?" Bruce said.
Tony shook his head. "Nah, Fury is a stubborn bastard, he won't leave. But hopefully the other 100 or so employees will evacuate and won't get crushed by a collapsing building."
"I hope so"
oOo
Tony's suit was well adapted to being underwater. Even more so than the suit he would have been wearing originally. He remembered feeling the pressure from the water around him. Almost claustrophobic. But with this suit he barely felt anything at all. He moved as if he was on land with almost no drag.
He fitted the last pipe into place and began welding it back together. Bubbles rose up as his laser vaporized the water around it. The two pieces bonded together in no time and the arc reactor was completed.
Obviously he had tweaked the design a bit. With some of his future knowledge he had added plenty of improvements his old self hadn't thought of. It was smaller for one.
Tony shot out of the water at speed into the air above New York. The morning rush hour was happening far below him. Most likely witnessing his display of bravado.
"All good on my end," Tony said "Light her up, Pep."
"Okay in 3,2,1…" The tower, which had been previously powered down, lit up for all the world to see. The stark logo gleamed with that arc reactor blue. "We are 100% clean energy,"
"Woohoo," he said, not as enthusiastic as the first time he had done this. But it was still something to celebrate.
Tony landed on the balcony at the top of the tower. The machinery that would have normally removed his suit remained under the floor at his feet. Instead, the nanobots began to dissolve from his body and flood back into his arc reactor casing. If you asked him, it made for a cooler entrance than the other suit. Less fumbling about.
"Now if I am not mistaken, we are about to receive a visitor," Tony said as he walked in.
Bruce and Pepper were already inside. Pepper had been given a short rundown of events. Not everything, mind you. He did not tell her about the likelihood of him flying through a wormhole. He would have never heard the end of it.
"What do you want me to do?" Bruce asked.
"Well in all seriousness I want you to Hulk out and scare the rest of Coulson's hair off. But I'd rather he didn't start shooting up the place or say anything that would make Hulk sad." Tony said solemnly "So I guess just sorta chill, grab a drink. Make it look like you've always been here,"
Right on cue JARVIS informed them that they had a visitor waiting downstairs.
"He seems to be attempting to override our systems sir," JARVIS informed them.
Tony smirked, having future knowledge made him feel giddy sometimes. "Yeah? And how's he doing with that?"
"Mr Coulson appears to be having more difficulty than he expected, Boss. He is getting rather frustrated with your elevator." said FRIDAY
The last time this had happened, Coulson had hacked straight into his phone and invited himself in. Tony had never forgotten the brazen display and felt like Coulson could wait a little bit longer before he let him up. It wouldn't hurt him to stew for a couple minutes.
Tony laughed and picked up a drink for himself. It was only an elderflower presse but he put it in one of his fancy crystal champagne flutes. He'd offered to get Pepper some real champagne but she had been happy to forgo it as a way of supporting him. Tony would have been fine, he'd never been a wine kind of guy anyway, but he appreciated the sentiment.
"Well this was originally supposed to be a celebration of the birth of our wonderful tower. Technically this is like a rebirth but that's no reason not to feel good about it. So cheers," he raised his glass.
"Cheers," Bruce and Pepper chimed. They all clinked their glasses and took a sip.
Tony then let FRIDAY send Coulson up. He'd waited long enough now.
It didn't take long for the elevator to make it to their floor and Tony was already halfway there, ready to greet the frustrated agent.
"Coulson," Tony said brightly "What a surprise seeing you here."
Coulson stepped out of the elevator. To his credit he looked entirely unruffled as if everything was going according to plan. It was one hell of a poker face and Tony was almost sad that they never got to play a game. But knowing SHIELD he'd probably find a way to cheat.
Though Tony also didn't like poker so it probably would not be a fun experience after all.
"I tried to call," Coulson said, straightening his suit. "For some reason my call couldn't get through."
Tony gave Coulson a fake thoughtful impression "Must be my new security system. It's pretty advanced. Wouldn't want secret organisations getting into my important files now would we."
"No, we wouldn't want that now would we," Coulson gave him a tight smile "I'm just surprised at how strong your systems were. They didn't seem this powerful a short while ago."
Tony couldn't help the humorous smile that spread on his face "Oh well you know me, always ahead of the curve."
Then Tony clapped his hands together and pointed behind him "Anyway, do you remember the glamorous and fantastical Miss Potts?"
Pepper walked over and shook Coulson's hand "Phil, always a pleasure."
"Same here," Coulson said smoothly
His first name is still, agent. Tony thought to himself.
Tony then indicated with his other hand to a person off to the side. Who had, until that moment, been hidden from Coulson's eye.
"What about my good friend Bruce?" Bruce came around the corner with a serene smile on his face, acting as if this was the most normal thing in the world.
As soon as Bruce came around the corner, Coulson jumped back. It was as if he did a full body flinch. His eyes widened almost comically and Tony could swear that he almost reached for his gun.
"Dr Banner?!" Coulson's voice was several octaves higher than it normally was.
Bruce came to stand next to Tony. The ice in his glass clinked against the metal straw as he swirled it in his drink.
"SHIELD right? I was wondering when you guys might show up again." Bruce took an incredibly long pull from his drink's straw until it made an obscene rattling noise.
"W-what are doing here? We thought you were in Kolkata." Coulson wiped his brow with the back of his hand. He was starting to get a lovely sheen of sweat coating his skin.
Bruce took another slow sip of his drink and stared him down with a serious look "How did you know where I was? You weren't following me were you?"
"I-uh I…" Coulson floundered.
Bruce broke out into a laugh "I'm kidding. I already know you guys have eyes everywhere. You probably knew I was here the second I came to Stark tower. Am I right?"
Tony could almost see the cogs turning in Coulson's head. SHIELD had had no idea that Bruce had been bunking with him for the last three weeks. He was trying to figure out how Bruce could disappear from Kolkata and end up sipping mocktails in Stark Tower.
Coulson laughed nervously "Yeah, no. Uh I mean, I didn't realise that you and Mr Stark even knew each other."
"Oh, me and Brucie Bear go way back don't we?" Tony patted Bruce's shoulder.
Perhaps a little too heavy handedly because it caused Bruce's shoulder to dip and he spilled some of his drink onto his sleeve. "Oops sorry buddy."
Coulson took a nervous step back like he expected a bomb to go off or something. This time his hand did ghost over his gun and Tony nearly rolled his eyes at the over reaction. People severely underestimated his boy Bruce.
"Nah, no worries," Bruce said goodnaturedly, shaking the liquid off his arm.
Pepper seemed to be the only one taking pity on the poor guy and put him out of his misery "Were you here for something specific Phil? Or would you like a drink of your own?"
In all honesty Coulson looked like he needed several stiff drinks but the man shook his head and brought out some files from behind his back. He seemed relieved to move the conversation forward.
"Yes, yes, this is urgent. We need you to look this over ASAP" Coulson held out the file.
Before Tony could say his iconic line about being handed things Bruce beat him to the punch and swiped the file for himself. The holographic screen lit up as soon as he opened it showing him a montage of the O.G Avengers.
"Oh that's me," Bruce said as a video of the Hulk raging through a university building popped up on screen.
His nonchalance made Coulson look very uncomfortable. But Bruce's grip tightened on the file when the image of Thor came up. Thankfully Coulson was too busy flipping between the two of them to notice his reaction.
"Is this about the Avengers?" Pepper said "Which I definitely do not know about"
Pepper's smile held even more restrained mirth than last time because she knew even more about them now.
Coulson refused to answer Pepper's question instead he said "There is a threat that we need your help with. You too Dr Banner. We would have asked you before this but you've but a little...difficult to locate these days."
Bruce smiled up at him "I'll think about it," Then he casually walked away with the file in hand.
Coulson lifted his hand up nervously as if trying to get his attention back. His voice was starting to have a panicked lilt to it."We would really appreciate it if you came and helped us Dr. We are in desperate need of your expertise."
"I'll think about it," was all Bruce said over his shoulder as he went to get himself another drink.
Coulson seemed the most rattled Tony had ever seen him. All of his expertly laid plans were unravelling before his eyes.
"Well," Tony clapped Coulson on the shoulder and steered him back to the elevator "It seems that I have a lot of homework. So if you're not staying for a drink then it was wonderful seeing your beautiful face but I think it's time for you to vamoose"
Coulson stepped into the elevator in a daze. Tony gave him a wave which he returned. Though he did look at his hand with confusion as if he didn't know why he had waved back. Then the doors closed and took him back to the ground floor.
As soon as the doors closed, Tony let out the laughter he had been containing. "Oh my god that was amazing. Did you see his face?"
"It was quite something," Bruce came back with another mocktail.
"You didn't have to torture the poor guy," pepper said but Tony couldn still see amusement glinting in her eyes.
"He's an agent he can handle it," Tony said "And anyway after I found out that the dude survived the helicarrier attack and didn't tell us, I wanted to get back at him."
Pepper shook her head but didn't reprimand him. "Right so I know what my job is. Will you guys be okay on your end?"
Pepper wanted to help as soon as she heard that there was going to be an attack on New York. Nothing could dissuade her after that. So they had given her the task of evacuating New York when the time came. She would work with JARVIS and FRIDAY to end out bomb threats to the surrounding area. The A.I's would make sure that they were believable. So by the time that the portal opened there should be no one within a 20 mile radius.
"All good on our end Pep. You need to believe in us more."
"Well we all know how well your plans go. I wouldn't be surprised if something weird happens," she laughed.'' I guess I'll see you guys in a few days."
oOo
Tony straightened the cuffs of his white shirt. The suit he was wearing was a little understated for his tastes. Plain black with a black tie. It was boring and in desperate need of a little pizzazz but it would do for his needs. They needed to blend in rather than stand out for the time being.
"How's your German?" he asked the air, the mic in his glasses managed to pick up everything he said though.
Bruce was busy fussing with his own suit halfway across the room. He hadn't worn a suit in nearly five years and the tie was bothering him. He responded with "Ich spreche kein Deutsch is the only phrase I learned. Too busy getting all my PhD's you know."
Tony smiled genially at a passing guest before replying with"Okay hotshot no need to flex on us mere mortals,"
A drink's waiter approached him and offered him a flute of champagne from their tray. Tony refused with a polite shake of his head and returned to scoping out the gala.
"Why are we here early anyway? I thought we were trying not to change things too much," Bruce said from his corner. He was also keeping a close eye on the party guests.
"Well I didn't say that we couldn't change anything. Maybe we could save a man's eyeball. Also, I was kinda hoping we could talk to the god of the hour before any wandering ears start listening in." Tony said.
"Finally coming round to him are you?"
"Yeah, we need him. Even if he is a bag of cats," he sighed.
Bruce snorted "If you think he's crazy you should have seen his mom. She made him look like the most well adjusted person ever."
Tony's eyebrows drew together "I thought Thor always spoke highly of his Mother, with her being queen of the universe or whatever."
"No, no, not his adopted mom. His biological one. She's the one that destroyed Asgard...She's also Thor's sister."
"What?!" he said a bit too loudly. If he had been drinking he would have ended up spitting it out. People turned to look at him because of his outburst and he smiled sheepishly before walking away.
"Yeah, turns out the Asgardian royal family is more fucked up than they let people know,"
"You're telling me," Tony laughed "Oh my god that makes Thor his uncle. That is hilarious."
He could no longer see Bruce from his vantage point but he could still hear him just fine "Well Loki wasn't too impressed when he first found out but Thor loved it."
"That I can imagine,"
Tony came across a group of older men and stopped short. There was a balding guy in the centre that Tony thought looked familiar. It was possible that he was the target that Loki had been after the first time. But Tony had only seen a brief picture of him originally so he couldn't be sure.
Nevertheless Tony approached him anyway. He was never one to shy away from talking to anyone.
"Gutentag my follically challenged friend, how are you finding this magical soiree?
Tony heard Bruce ask what he was doing in his ear but he dutifully ignored it. The man in question stepped backwards and looked to his companions, clearly uncomfortable with being approached by a stranger. He didn't even say anything, which Tony found rude. And here he thought these awful gala's were for socialising.
"Well I must say, you have exquisite eyes," Tony said, with his signature smile.
The guy had the nerve to turn his nose up at him and usher him and his friends away from Tony.
"Too soon Tony," Bruce said.
"Does it really count as too soon if it hasn't happened yet?" Tony asked.
"In any case I think you got the wrong guy."
Before he could ask how Bruce knew, the screaming had started. Party goers began stampeding out of the building and into the street. Tripping over one another in a bid to leave quicker. Not a lot of helpful bystanders considering this was supposed to be a charity event.
Tony cursed his inattentiveness and rushed into the main atrium. Bruce was already there looking on in concern and Tony sidled up next to him. Loki had flipped the man onto a table and was currently doing something very gross to his eyeball.
He knew that Bruce couldn't really do anything while this size so he turned to him and said "We probably won't need the big guy in here so it might be best to go check on everyone outside. Or you'll probably get a laser to the face."
Bruce nodded gravely and then turned to help the people leaving the building.
"And tell me when spangles arrives," he called after him.
Then he turned back Loki and tapped his arc reactor twice. The nanobots swarmed around him until all of him but his head was encased in his top of the line ironman suit.
A hell of a lot sleeker than anything his counterpart would have been wearing.
The guy was still screaming and Tony nearly flinched away but he managed to contain it. Loki's smug smile was enough of a distraction.
"You know, stealing a guest's eyeball is considered in poor taste. At least buy him dinner first," Tony shouted across the hall.
Loki's smug smile dropped off his face as he finally clocked Tony. He stood up with a growl and yank the machine out of the man's eyes with a sickening squelching noise.
"You!" Loki's glare was murderous "How did find me so quickly?"
"well, Mr Tall, Dark and Handsome I was so excited to see you that I just had to come early. How else could I get you all to myself?"
Loki's eyes lit up and a smirk stretched across his face. The sceptre shot into his had with a gust of magic and with another wave his modern suit was replaced by his iconic green armour. Horns and all.
Tony had always thought of them as fuck handles.
"I hope you got to see what you wanted because you won't be alive much longer to see it." Loki mocked before levelling the staff at Tony's head and firing.
Tony ducked just in time and skidded several feet to the left. His helmet closed around his head and his HUD lit up in front of him. Loki then swerved and shot another bolt of energy at the place Tony was standing.
With a light jump he managed to dodge it and watch it sail harmlessly below him. It crashed into the opposite wall in a sea of blue sparks and hovered above the ground and used his new vantage point to his advantage. The gun on his right arm popped up and shot off a laser beam of his own. It wasn't as powerful as it could be because he didn't actually plan on killing Loki. But it could still pack a punch.
"Come on sweetheart, don't be like that. I wanted to get to know you better," Tony said.
Loki easily dodged his lasers with the poise of a professional dancer. He tilted his head in a way that suggested he found Tony fascinating. Though it was more in the way that someone would find a bug fascinating rather than a person.
"So brazen. I wonder what it would take to slow that tongue." he said, firing off another shot.
"Oh there are plenty of ways to deal with my tongue. I can be quite imaginative," Tony would have winked if Loki could actually see his face.
Loki's surprised laugh rang through the atrium and Tony felt triumphant.
He was having waaay too much fun flirting with Loki. Bruce would probably tell him off later but he couldn't help if Loki was setting up the perfect come ons
It carried on for several beats. Shooting, dodging, firing, ducking. They had started their own dance of sorts. Each perfectly in sync. Neither seemed keen to actually kill the other.
Not that Tony was too concerned about that. Even if Loki was trying to kill him, his suit could probably handle the sceptre. It had taken on the brute power of the power stone for fuck sake. He could handle the sceptre.
"You interrupted me before I could start my grand speech. How awfully rude of you," Loki smirked, he seemed to be enjoying this as much as Tony was.
"I can probably get the gist," Tony quipped back "Does it involve me on my knees before you with your name on my lips."
Tony saw Loki's eyes darken and widen with surprise. Before he could say anything back they were interrupted by a self righteous voice.
"You know, the last time I was Germany and saw a man standing above everybody else, we ended up disagreeing."
Loki turned at the sound and let a shot off. Captain America lifted his shield just in time to deflect it back. It hit Loki and sent him sprawling backwards. His head shot up in anger when he finally saw who was there.
"The soldier. A man out of time."
Tony flew back down and let his helmet melt away. "Teacher's here to break up the fight. I think it's time to throw in the towel."
Loki gave him a withering look before lifting his hands in surrender. His horns and shoulder pads melted away until he was just left with his leather overcoat.
"Mr Stark," Rogers nodded in Tony's direction
"Captain," he replied "How about we haul reindeer games here over to whatever plane you brought with you?"
Rogers gave him a strange look before consenting "Yeah, yeah that sounds good."
They each took an arm and hauled Loki over to the hovercraft. Bruce was already inside from what he could see, probably having a very awkward conversation with Nat.
"Fury didn't tell me that he was calling you in." Steve said. Tony could hear the bite to his voice. Like Tony had taken his favourite toy.
"Well the first thing you need to know about Fury is that you never have any idea what that guy's got going on,"
"How did you get here so quickly? We arrived as soon as we caught sight of him but you still managed to beat us." He asked, eyes narrowed.
"I have my ways,"
"Ugh, by the norns, if you're going to talk about me like I'm not here then I humbly request you find me some ear plugs." Loki complained.
Tony turned to Loki with a sultry smile "What's wrong handsome? Don't like my dulcet tones?"
Steve looked down right scandalised and his face had started to go red "Stark don't engage with the enemy."
"Engaged?" tony laughed and then directed his full attention to Loki "No, I'm not engaged. Unless you're proposing, hot stuff."
Loki's eyes roved over his face lasciviously and Tony couldn't deny that it was hot. "You're a rather daring mortal aren't you?" his voice was almost a whisper and it was positively criminal.
Tony managed to settle himself enough to quip back "What can I say? It comes with the territory. If I turned tail at the first sign of danger we wouldn't be having this riveting conversation now would we."
"And what a tragedy that would be."
Steve coughed uncomfortably and pushed Loki on. It broke their intense eye contact and Tony felt like he could breathe a little easier
Loki was being pretty compliant until he froze at the bottom of the steps. Tony nearly fell over his own feet. The guy was like an immovable statue.
"The Bifrost?" he whispered under his breath "Impossible."
"Hey, no funny business" Steve said, pushing Loki to carry on.
Loki just shook his head and glared at Steve. It didn't take them long after that to get him onto the hovercraft. They sat him in the same seat he'd been in originally and they were in the sky in seconds.
Tony gave Bruce a nod and went to go stand next to him. Bruce nodded back which he took to mean that everything had gone okay on his end. He could see everyone else giving Bruce wary looks and it made him simultaneously want to laugh and get angry at the same time. These people needed to believe in Bruce more
"I should have known you'd be here when my PA system would not stop playing ACDC," Nat said from the pilot seat.
"Thought you could use some decent tunes."
Nat looked surreptitiously over her shoulder and Tony could feel her analysing gaze rove all over his body. He would have felt completely exposed if he wasn't used to that look. He also had no doubt that she would immediately spot the difference between his old self and his new was whether or not she found it concerning that was important.
He would rather not have another false accusation of cloning. Especially considering Nat's weapons would hurt a hell of a lot more than Pepper's taser.
"New suit?" She asked, her voice careful and even.
"You know me. Always got to be bigger and better. Can never stick with one suit for long."
Nat didn't look happy with his answer. Her suspicion never wavered. "It's a hell of a lot sleeker than your old one. I didn't think that technology could move that fast. Even yours."
Tony placed a hand over his heart "I'm gonna try not to be hurt by your insinuation."
Nat turned back to the sky but the frown didn't leave her face.
Several minutes passed and Tony began to get nervous. There was no sign of Thor anywhere. Surely it hadn't taken this long last time. But then again, perhaps the anticipation was making time feel different.
When the thunder god still didn't turn up, Tony's internal panic went through the roof. He turned to Bruce and saw the same look reflected back at him. Bruce's feet began to tap nervously against the metal floor.
"Waiting for somebody?"Steve asked jokingly, not realising how close he was to hitting the nail on the head.
Tony opened his mouth only for a bolt of lightning to shoot in front of the hovercraft. Nat managed to expertly avoid it but was thrown off when another bolt shot off on her other side.
Oh thank fuck for that. Tony had been so close to praying it was almost embarrassing. They hadn't messed up the timeline irrevocably yet.
The lightning strikes kept coming but for some reason the man of the hour never showed up to steal his brother away. Or nephew he should say. He didn't know if he would ever get over that.
"There appears to be something down there," Nat leaned forward to look out the window "It might be the source of the lightning."
Wait, was Thor waiting down there for them. Huh that's weird.
"They're signalling, waving something"
"I'll go check it out" Tony said before anyone else could. His helmet was down and he was out of the hovercraft before anyone could stop him.
There were a few shouts of annoyance but they didn't follow him. Bruce was probably convincing Cap that he had to stay and look after the prisoner.
Tony landed carefully on the grass and looked around him. There was no sign of the younger Thor until he heard a roar behind him.
"Unhand my brother you...er heathen. Or you will regret it."
Tony spun at the sound and his mouth dropped open at the sight. There stood a large man with a cable knit sweater. His long hair was unadorned and held back from his face in a simple bun. Where his right eye should be there was, instead, a pirate eye patch that one would find with a childs costume.
Stormbreaker crackled dangerously with electricity from where Thor was aiming it at Tony.
"Holy shit Thor, it's you!"
Woo, Thor's finally in it! It's taken a while but we're finally there. I hope you enjoyed the surprise