Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood or its characters

Chapter 7

Ianto grabbed the pillow and blankets from the cupboard and settled on the sofa for the night. He didn't want to take advantage of Jack or make him feel uncomfortable so he slept on the sofa. He didn't mind too much as he found his sofa very comfortable. He checked on Jack who was fast asleep. He smiled at the sight. Jack looked so peaceful, so at ease. No sign of fear on his face. He made up his makeshift bed and settled down.

He was startled awake by a scream. He leapt out and realised the terrified screaming was coming from his bedroom. He raced in to find Jack throwing himself round the bed. He tried to get close but had to jump back as Jack's fist nearly caught him in the face. He jumped in the bed and straddled Jack, trying to grab his arms.

"Jack! Jack wake up!" He dodged another fist.

"Jack! It's Ianto! You're safe!"

He managed to duck under the arms and slapped Jack hard on the cheek. He felt awful but he knew there wasn't any other way. If it didn't help he was going to call Owen. Jack gasped and opened his eyes, dropping his arms which were mid air. Ianto climbed off him quickly. Jack was panting and covered in sweat. Ianto put his hand on Jack's cheek and slowly turned his face towards him. There were tears in his eye.

"I'm alone" he rasped, his throat rough from the screaming.

"I'm here Jack" Ianto said softly.

"I was alone. I was all alone!" Jack's voice was trembling.

Something stirred in Ianto's gut. "Jack what did you see?"

"I woke up. There were piles of dust in front of me. I walked down a corridor and there were piles everywhere. I entered a room and there were people lying all over the room. They were dead Ianto!" Tears began to flow down Jack's cheeks. "They were all dead! I was all alone. Everyone was dead!"

Ianto pulled Jack into his arms and held him as he sobbed into his chest. Ianto gently rocked him and rubbed his back. His heart broke as he realised what Jack saw, that horrific awakening as an immortal and being abandoned. Ianto had shuddered when Jack had told him about it one night. Ianto felt tears running down his cheeks and drip into Jack's hair. Of all the memories he had, why did that one have to be the first he remembered?

"How is he now?" Owen's voice full of concern down the phone. Ianto had called him whilst Jack was in the shower and filled him in.

"He slept for a couple of hours and seems better this morning. He is just very shaken up, as you can imagine" He had to explain the dream as Jack hadn't told the team about what happened to him then.

"Yeah" Owen agreed. "I'm just off to the Hub now. Depending how today goes I may have some good news by the end of the day."

"What type of good news? You found a way to mute Hart?"

Owen snorted. "I wish" His whining is really starting to grate. And we won't start on Gwen joining in now. Let's just say I've called in some favours from some friends of mine who work in pharmaceuticals. They should get back to me hopefully with ideas on how to reverse most of the drugs Hart mixed with the Retcon. I'm about to make a breakthrough on the actual Retcon as well so all being well we might be able to start working on a reversal."

Ianto's heart leapt. He knew Owen was a secret genius, although he would never admit it to him. "That's great Owen! Keep me updated."

He hung up as Jack walked into the living room. He had put on jeans and an old grey t-shirt and his hair was damp from his shower. He smiled weakly.

"How are you feeling Jack? Come and sit down and I'll make you a coffee. " Ianto helped him onto the sofa. Even after the extra couple of hours he was still shaky.

Ianto busied himself making coffee and breakfast for them both whilst Jack watched the tv, not paying much attention to it. Ianto brought him the coffee and a bacon sandwich. They ate in silence but Ianto could tell Jack was pre-occupied. Finally Jack put his half eaten sandwich down and looked at Ianto.

"That wasn't a dream was it? That actually happened to me. It was a memory?" Jack asked quietly.

Ianto knew he couldn't hide the truth. "Yes that was a memory. It happened before you joined Torchwood. You told me what happened. I'm just so sorry it wasn't a more pleasant memory that came back to you."

Jack shook his head. "I can still feel it. The sense and smell of death everywhere. I was abandoned. I don't know who by. I chased a noise but when I arrived it had disappeared. I felt so alone. Someone abandoned me on that station. But why?" He looked at Ianto, tears starting to form in his eyes. "Why was I left there? All alone on a space station with no way off. Why?!" He gave into the tears and slammed his fists on his thighs.

Ianto rushed to his side and pulled him into his arms. "I don't know all the details, but you made it off the station. You are here, now. It must have been awful but you survived it." He cupped Jack's chin and made him look up. "You survived Jack. And I promise you there are many great memories waiting to come back. Amazing memories. You have seen and done so much."

Ianto suddenly realised he'd made a mistake as Jack pulled away, eyes widening. "How much have I seen and done Ianto? You say I have many great memories. But if I've seen and done that much there must be terrible things. Things I have done that I would rather forget. Things I have seen I wish I could unsee. Just what is lurking in my head Ianto? For all the good things, how much bad is there?"

Ianto couldn't answer, so he pulled Jack closer and held him tighter.

Ianto's mobile rang a few hours later. He checked on Jack who was fast asleep in bed. He saw it was Owen and picked up.

"Owen. Tell me you have good news."

"Will you just shut up before I shut you up for good!" he heard Owen yelling at someone. He then came back. "Sorry mate. Bloody madhouse here. Sooner you and Jack are back the better!"

"Does this mean you ring bearing good news Doctor Harper?" Ianto's heart skipped a beat.

"Indeed it does Master Jones. My mates came through and I've had a breakthrough on the Retcon as well. Bad news though, I had help with that breakthrough."

Ianto groaned, knowing what was coming. "Let me guess who helped."

"Yes. And now guess who is complaining again about seeing Jack. Only now he has an ally."

Ianto groaned again. "Hart and Gwen. What a lovely pair. I would have thought after what he did to her she wouldn't give him the time of day."

"What can I say? Bleeding heart Gwen. Definitely something Jack can deal with when he gets back. Although we come to my next bit of bad news."

Ianto was now worried. "What's happened Owen?"

"I've got the information I need to make the reversal drug. Now I need to get the ingredients and make it. Problem is we are looking at around 3 weeks before it will be ready."

Ianto's heart sank. "3 weeks?"

"Sorry mate."

Ianto gave his head a shake. 3 weeks is nothing. At least there was something they could do for Jack now. "It's alright Owen. Get started as soon as you can. And tell Hart I will put a bullet in his other shoulder if he doesn't shut up!"

"Oh with that promise I'm only going to encourage him now. Tosh has saved the CCTV footage from the first shot and put it on a USB for me to enjoy over and over."

Ianto rolled his eyes but couldn't hold back a laugh.

"Anyways mate I'm going to go get started."

"Thanks Owen. Call me if you need anything."

"Will do."

As he hung up he saw Jack standing in the doorway.

"Jack. Are you ok?"

"Was that Owen?" Jack asked.

Ianto nodded and walked up to Jack and took his hands. "It's good news Jack. Owen has found a way to reverse the drug you were given. We can get your memory back!" He didn't notice Jack's horrified expression. "It will take 3 weeks unfortunately, but still it's great news. Jack?" Ianto noticed Jack's expression. "Jack what's wrong?"

Jack looked at him. "I'm not taking the drug Ianto. I don't want my memory back."