Henry knocked on the door of the former office, but there was no answer. He let out a sigh. In the five days since Elizabeth had come home, things had gone rather downhill. Sure, she had put on a good show for the kids that first day, but when he had helped her into bed the first night, she had nearly had a panic attack. He wasn't sure why, but ever since then, she had essentially shut down. She all but refused to come out of her room, but he didn't think she was sleeping much, either.

He slept in there, too. He had pulled out the old air mattress from their children's days of endless sleepovers, inflated it right across from Elizabeth's bed, and made his own bed right beside hers. He wasn't about to leave her alone at night; he had never liked leaving her alone at night, but now? After what had happened? There was no way he was going to let her be on her own for that long.

"Elizabeth?" he called out as he opened the door, his eyes adjusting to the dim room. All of the lights were off, and the window shades were down. He could barely see his wife as he made his way across the old office, dodging a pillow that she had thrown at some point. He walked towards the bed, which was on the far end of the space. Elizabeth had turned onto her side, as best she could, and was staring at the wall, her back to him. She looked like she was asleep, though he highly doubted that was the case. More likely, she was just lying there, thinking.

"Elizabeth, the girls want to know if you want to come out for dinner," he tried again. No response, the only sound in the room being her quiet breathing. "You need to eat, babe," he gently reminded her.

"I'm not hungry." Her response was barely audible, but he caught her words, and sighed again. Of course she wasn't. She hadn't had an appetite at all since she woke up, which was very concerning to him. Elizabeth loved food.

"I know, but you need to eat something."

"Don't want to," she mumbled, and he shook his head.

"Yeah, but you have to."

"No," she stated, turning her head to watch him.

Henry let it go. Once she was hungry enough, she would eat. He was 99% sure she wouldn't starve herself to death. "Fine," he conceded. "You want some company?"

"Not really." Her head turned back to the wall, and all he could see was her golden hair. As much as he wanted to protest, he knew he wouldn't get very far, and he slowly shook his head, knowing she wouldn't see the gesture.

"Well, if you need anything, just shout," he said, trudging back to the exit and closing the door behind him.

"Well?" Stevie's eyes met his as soon as he had closed the door. He shook his head, and her face fell. "I had really hoped she would come out today."

"We need to give her time, Stevie," he responded, but he was just as disappointed as she was.

"Yeah, I know that. But she hasn't been out since the day she got home!" His daughter was frustrated, and he couldn't blame her. "I just want my mom back," she admitted ruefully, and he wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace.

"I know," he whispered, before adding, "I miss her too."

A couple of days later, Jason crept towards the office door. He wasn't sure if it was the best idea, but he hadn't seen his mom in over a week. He had hid upstairs when she came home, a move he now regretted, and hadn't even come down for dinner that night. He didn't know why; it probably had to do with the thought of seeing his mom in a wheelchair in their own home. It made it too real. At least in the hospital bed, it was almost normal. He could convince himself that she was just sitting in bed. He had hidden, and now she was hiding.

But now he wanted his mom. He didn't care how, and he would never admit it, but he just wanted his mom. So here he was, quietly knocking on the door before turning the knob.

The room was dimly lit, and it took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust. It was quiet, though the sound of his pounding heartbeat filled his ears. His eyes traced the room, finally landing on the bed in the corner of the room.

He tip-toed across the room. Even from the distance, he was certain his mom was asleep. She wasn't moving, except for breathing softly in and out. Her back was turned away from him, so he couldn't even see her face, but watching her was oddly comforting. His mom was alive. He stood there, watching, and losing track of time.

"Jase?" His mom's quiet voice broke through the silence, making him do a double take. He had been sure she was asleep, and besides, her back was turned! How on earth did she know he was there?

Something else about her voice stood out to him, though. It lacked her usual strength, her usual confidence. He couldn't quite place it, but something seemed… off. And why wouldn't it be? It made perfect sense for her to be a little less put together at the moment, but it still didn't sit right with Jason. When he was little, he had believed his mom was a superhero. Obviously, he had outgrown that belief, but he still had this image of his mom being this indestructible, unbeatable force. Nothing ever took his mom down. Until this, apparently.

"Yeah?" he responded, hoping she had been looking for a response.

"Why are you in here?" He tried to ignore the accusatory tone of her voice; he knew she probably would assume that he had been sent by his dad. His dad had been trying to get her out of the room for days, but to no avail.

"I haven't seen you in over a week…" he answered softly after a pause. His mom spent a few moments processing his words, and he watched as she slowly rolled first onto her back, and then onto her other side, her head turning to look at him. Their eyes met, the lack of depth in his mom's eyes startling him as he moved closer to her bed.

"You didn't come down." She didn't elaborate, but Jason knew exactly what she meant. He hadn't come downstairs the first night she was home, and she probably knew why. Her eyes had moved to stare at the wall across the room, not meeting his gaze. He looked down.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, unsure of what to say. Silence once again enveloped the room, before he whispered, "I miss you."

His mom sighed, and he wondered if she had even heard his last comment. "I don't blame you for not coming."

"You don't?" He was beyond confused.

"I wouldn't have."

"Why?"

"Because I'm messed up." The seriousness in her voice made Jason realize that she actually believed what she was saying. That terrified him.

"No you're not!" he quickly refuted, though he wasn't sure how much he believed his own words.

"Don't lie, Jase."

"I'm not! You're my mom. You couldn't be messed up if you tried to be," he stated truthfully. In all honesty, he admired his mom exponentially. Sure, he might act like a jerk to her, but for pity's sake, she was his mom! But, because he was himself, he added, "At least, not more messed up than you already were!"

"Gee, thanks, Jase," his mom said sarcastically, but he saw the corners of her mouth raise slightly at his comment. He plopped down onto the air mattress his dad had set up next to his mom.

"So why haven't you come out?" he asked sincerely.

"Because I don't want to," she responded quietly.

"Why?"

"Jase, you sound like a four-year-old with all of the 'why' questions."

"Not an answer," he pointed out. His mom had a knack for evading questions she didn't want to answer, but he was determined.

She let out a huge breath of air before answering, "Because it's too strange."

"Mom," he said, standing up once more, "you're the one who told me in your hospital room that although things would be different and strange, we would make it through because we were Team McCord. But if you're hiding away from all of us, it doesn't make us much of a team."

His mom seemed surprised that he even remembered that conversation, and her eyes went wide. He usually left the doling out wisdom to his dad, or even to Stevie or Ally. He usually stuck to sarcasm and snarky comments.

"Good grief, you're growing up, Jase," she commented, and probably would have said more if his dad's voice had not interrupted them.

"Jason?" his dad yelled from the kitchen.

"Go," his mom nodded at him. "And when you have a chance, could you tell your dad to come in here?"

"Sure!" he agreed, scurrying out of the room.

Stevie took the casserole out of the oven, checking to see if it was done. It was. Looking up, she saw Jason come out of the old office, and she became very, very perplexed. What the heck had Jason been doing in their mom's room?

Even she hadn't worked up the courage to enter that room. She had no idea how her mom would react, and she didn't want to risk being met by the terrifying Elizabeth McCord from after the Iran incident. The one that yelled, screamed, and cried. Well, Stevie could handle the crying, but the yelling and screaming were kind of terrifying to her. It was just so unlike her mom!

Watching as Jason ran to their dad, who was standing in the middle of the kitchen, she saw them talk for a couple minutes, before her dad turned to speak to her.

"Stevie, could you hold off on dinner for a couple minutes? Mom wants to talk to me." Stevie quickly nodded, and her dad disappeared into her mom's room.

"Sooooo…" she started, turning to Jason. "What the heck did you do?"

"I didn't do anything wrong!" he defended himself. "We talked, that's all!"

Ally, who until that point had been sitting quietly at the kitchen island, looked up. "She hasn't even really been talking to dad, Jase," she pointed out quietly.

"What did she say?" Stevie wanted to know.

"None of your business!" he quickly retorted. Stevie would have pressed harder, but the timer for the potatoes started dinging, and she had to check the food.

The click of the office door made all three McCord kids look up, wanting answers from their dad but not sure if they should ask. He made it easier by talking as soon as he walked through the kitchen doorway.

"Is dinner almost ready?" he asked.

"Yeah, why?" Stevie inquired.

"Your mom decided to come out for dinner." Her dad sounded just as shocked as she felt. They had begged her mom for days to come out of her room, to no avail. Why was it that now, on the day they didn't ask, that she decided to?

"What made her change her mind?" Ally asked.

"Honestly? No idea, but there is something you guys need to do," he added.

"What?" Jason questioned.

"None of you guys can be in here when she comes out."

"Wait, what?" Stevie was perplexed, and just a little bit shocked. What on earth was going on?

Her dad took a deep breath. "She doesn't want you to see her until she's settled at the table." At all three of the McCord kid's questioning glares, he shrugged. "Hey, I'm just the messenger, but if you want her to come out…"

"Of course we will!" Stevie interrupted, watching as her siblings nodded in agreement. "I just need to finish the potatoes, and we can retreat upstairs. Right, nerds?"

"Right, right!" Ally snapped out of whatever stupor she had been in. Jason chimed in with his agreement, and Stevie scrambled to mix the sour cream, chives, and butter into the mashed potatoes. Once she finished, she herded her younger brother and sister up the kitchen steps, and they congregated in Stevie's room.

"So Jase…" Stevie started after plopping down on top of her bedspread, her siblings settling onto the fluffy rug that covered the floor, "what should we expect?"

"What?" Jason looked slightly confused, and slightly defensive.

"Like, is Mom okay? Is she acting normal?"

"Stevie," Ally broke in, "If she was acting normal, she wouldn't have been holed up in her room the entire week."

"She's… she's… oh, I don't know! She's kind of… weird," Jason admitted. "She told me that she was 'messed up', and actually seemed to believe it!" He put air quotes around "messed up".

"So… not normal," Ally stated. It wasn't a question. Their mom was never like that. She always had this confidence that Stevie was envious of. Like, she never seemed to make a mistake, but if she did, she took the consequences and went on with life, never looking back. It was actually kind of unfair and annoying at times, and it had irked 19-year-old Stevie enough that she had stopped speaking to her mom for almost a month, but it was a part of who her mom was. She kind of wished she was the same way.

"Definitely not," Stevie agreed, turning a look of concern to her siblings.

"So… what do we do?" Ally asked. "I mean, how are we supposed to act around her?"

"We just try to act normal," Stevie said decisively. "I don't think Mom will like it if we act all strange around her."

"So… just pretend like nothing's wrong? So lie?" Jason asked sincerely.

"Well, when you put it like that, it sounds really bad!" Stevie exclaimed, cupping her hands over her mouth when she realized that sound probably carried down the stairwell and into the kitchen. "No, we don't lie, we just don't bring it up," she clarified, much more quietly. "Got it?"

"Yeah," both of her siblings replied in unison.

"Kids! Dinner!" her dad's voice stopped her from making some joke about them sounding like programmed robots. Wow, perfect timing on her dad's part!

"Coming!" they all shouted, scrambling out of Stevie's room and down the stairs.

Ally was the first to reach the bottom of the stairs, but was quickly rammed in the back by a speeding Jason. She quickly side-stepped, allowing her brother and sister to get past without any more collisions.

She had to blink a few times to adjust her eyes; the upstairs hall had been dim from lack of sunlight or overhead light, but down here, the pretty much every light that could be on was, in an attempt to compensate for the lack of daylight. It was bright.

She scanned the room from her spot next to the wall, scooting away from the fridge to let her dad grab the water pitcher. Stevie had started moving food from the kitchen island to the table, and her dad was filling a bowl with ice to put into glasses. Jason was finding a seat at the table, choosing the chair on the right of their mom, who was sitting at the head of the table.

Her mom. It was the first time Ally had seen her mom in nearly a week. The last time, her mom had seemed fine. Almost… normal. She had offered up smiles and joked around like any other time. But now? Now, even though her mom's eyes seemed to follow everyone around the bustling kitchen, she made no sound, and the playful grin was gone. Replaced by this look of… emptiness. Like someone had taken a piece of her and put her back incomplete. Well, Ally supposed, someone had, in a way. Whoever the jerk was who shot her mom had taken a piece of her. More than just the use of her legs, too. They had taken a piece of her mom's spirit.

Ally slowly walked to the chair she always chose, on her mother's left. She pulled the chair out, and saw her mom jump. Apparently, her mom hadn't noticed she was there. Their eyes met for a fraction of a second before her mom looked away, and Ally couldn't stop a tiny gasp from escaping as she sat down in her chair. Her mom's eyes… they could have belonged to a zombie. There was no life. Everything that made her mom, well, her mom was gone, it seemed.

Jason caught her eye, and they shared a worried glance at each other before turning to focus on what was happening in the kitchen. Stevie brought the last of the hot food to the table, while their dad put away the ice and the water pitcher. They both scurried to the table, Stevie settling down next to Ally, while their dad sat at the other end. Their normal seating arrangement, though in Ally's mind, nothing about this dinner was normal.

"So," her dad said between bites of mashed potatoes, "anyone do anything interesting today?" He eyed all three of the kids, before Stevie finally spoke up.

"Well, I applied for like five different law schools this morning… which is crazy, I know. But I want to keep my options open!"

"Yeah, because none of the schools will want a former college dropout!" Jason shot back, which caused Stevie to shriek.

"Hey, I graduated with a 4.0, and I practically aced the LSAT. I don't think I'll have a problem getting in!"

"I did." The sound of their mom's voice made all of the kids turn their heads in surprise. Partly because she had actually spoken, and partly because none of them had known she had ever applied for law school.

Ally was the first to recover. "Wait, you applied to law school?" she asked, hoping that her mom would keep talking. It was nice to hear her voice.

"Harverd. I was rejected," her mom simply stated.

"Why? Weren't you already in the CIA?" Jason inquired.

"I applied my junior year of college, which may have had something to do with it. I was recruited for the CIA my senior year. Probably for the best." Her mom shrugged, before returning to picking at her food.

"Yeah, but you sure didn't think it was for the best at the time," her dad teased.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I seem to remember a very, very long week filled with ice cream, popcorn, and soppy movies that made you cry more than you were already crying, and I was dragged along for the ride." At her dad's comment, her mom looked up. Ally wasn't quite sure, but she thought she might have seen a tiny sparkle in her mom's eyes, a hint of the laughter that would have ordinarily accompanied her dad's comment.

"Yeah, well, hindsight is 20/20."

The rest of the meal progressed in a similar manner. Ally was surprised by how much her mom had talked. Sure, it was nowhere near the normal status quo, but it was really nice to hear her mom speaking now and then. She hadn't realized quite how strange it had been without her mom's voice echoing around the house every night.

Dinner ended way too soon, in Ally's opinion. All too soon, they had all finished the delicious meal that Stevie had made, and Stevie and Ally stood up to clean the plates off of the table. Jason assisted her dad in carrying the leftovers from the table to the kitchen island, while the girls scooped the food into containers to put in the fridge or freezer.

Sneaking a look at her mom every so often, Ally felt slightly bad for leaving her at the table alone. She was fairly certain that her mom had probably insisted on not leaving the kitchen table until the kids were back upstairs, but… it was so weird. She was just… watching them.

Nudging Stevie with her elbow, she gestured with her eyes towards her mom. "Can you manage without me?" she asked. Stevie quickly nodded, and Ally ran to the living room to collect her sketchbook before returning to the kitchen table, plopping on the chair she had been in earlier, right next to her mom.

"Mom, can you help me with one of my designs?" she asked.

"I'm not sure how much help I can be, Noodle… fashion isn't really my forte."

"I just need your opinion," Ally assured her, opening her sketchbook to the page she had been working on. It was a simple dress design, but Ally was incredibly proud of how it had turned out. She had actually started making a pattern for the dress already, but she didn't tell her mom that. "So, any ideas on what color I should make this?"

Much to Ally's amazement, she and her mom spent the next half hour at the kitchen table, looking over designs and discussing colors and fabric. Of course, Ally did quite a bit of the talking, but considering that her mom hadn't been exaggerating when saying that fashion wasn't her forte, her mom was surprisingly involved. Ally actually made some mental notes of things to change on her pattern for the dress.

Soon enough, though, her dad shooed Ally and her siblings upstairs to get ready for bed, all of them knowing it was a ploy to get them to go upstairs so that he could help their mom back to her room. She did actually get ready for bed, though. It had been a long day.

Disclaimer: I don't own Madam Secretary or any of its characters. I just watch way too much Madam Secretary for my own good.

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