Chapter Eight: Howl
Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers
Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters
~ Howl; Florence + The Machine
A/N: Happy New Year everyone! As always I'm so grateful for your support, thanks for the reviews: Sparky She-Demon, Papergirlpapertownn, Darth Rapture, Korrindo, GreenLilly, drwatsonn, Total Targaryen, Mystic Scripture, Kam, xlittleredx, ocfairygodmother and my guests!
Ah yes it's time for Phoenix to find out something very important about her boyfriend ;)
Warnings for this chapter: mild violence, nothing too extreme
"Did your uniform shrink over the summer?"
"Pardon?" Phoenix frowned and examined her Slytherin uniform at Lorna's coolly raised eyebrow. She had changed rather quickly upon boarding the Hogwarts Express, knowing she would have to undertake patrol. Heading into her sixth year, it appeared some things never changed. Beside Lorna, Beth was silent and withdrawn, an usual occurrence for her. Phoenix suspected she still hadn't gotten over Regulus dumping her over the summer holidays.
Regulus had been delighted to realise he'd been made Slytherin Quidditch Captain for the new year. Phoenix was amused to discover that James Potter and Lily Evans, of all people, would be the Head Boy and Girl. At least it made it easy to report to people who she was already friends with.
"You look like you're about to pop the buttons of your shirt," Lorna pointed out, "And your skirt looks like if you bend over, someone could see...well, everything."
Phoenix murmured a spell under her breath, enchanting the window to act as a mirror. She examined her reflection, acknowledging that maybe she'd done some growing over the school holidays. Whereas last year she'd had just more than a hint of curves, now...well, Lorna was right. The green and silver skirt rode high up her thighs, her chest straining at the buttons of the shirt she'd owned since fourth year.
"Are you quite done checking yourself out?" Beth asked sourly, slamming the book she had been reading closed with a thump.
"She's trying to see if I'm telling the truth." Lorna frowned at Beth's bitterness, exchanging a look with Phoenix. The dark-haired girl shrugged her shoulders, but she had to admit that the vitriol in Beth's tone stung. What was her friend playing at?
"Oh, I think it's deliberate." Beth's eyes flashed with malice. "Phoenix knows that it would get her some more attention."
What the fuck is her problem? Phoenix stared incredulously at Beth, not understanding her openly hostile behaviour. Realising this was a matter best settled between the two of them, she glowered at her other friend.
"Lorna, get out."
Lorna opened her mouth to say something, but hesitated at Phoenix's irate expression. Heaving a sigh, she pushed herself to her feet and left the compartment, closing the door behind her. Only once they were alone did Phoenix plant her hands on her hips, staring down at the blonde witch.
"Spit it out, Beth."
"What am I meant to be saying?" Beth demanded, her lips twisting into a scowl. "Don't act as though you don't know. You're all Evan Rosier talks about, and the other Slytherin boys…"
"I don't give a shit about Evan Rosier's fucking schoolboy crush!" Phoenix threw up her arms, her temper flaring. "You're being a bitch because Regulus dumped you. Stop taking it out on me, okay? I had nothing to do with it."
"You know, I really don't get it." Beth shook her head, light blonde hair swaying from side to side. "You're dating a half-blood whose mother is a Muggle, for Merlin's sake, and still you're somehow appealing despite verging on blood traitor territory."
Phoenix's eyes narrowed. "Be very careful what you say next, Beth."
"Or you'll hex me?" Beth raised her eyebrows, scoffing.
"Don't be ridiculous." Phoenix rolled her eyes. "Besides, I haven't done anything to make any of those morons remotely interested in me."
"Oh, get a grip." Beth leaped to her feet, hands balling into fists. "Remember who you're talking to. I'm the one who knows all your little secrets, your hook-ups. You didn't complain at the end of fourth year when Alexander had his tongue down your throat and his hands all over you. You didn't complain when Evan offered to go down at you when we were all drunk in the kitchen at Lucius and Narcissa's engagement party."
The thought of her makeout session with Alexander made Phoenix feel nauseous. She hadn't meant for things to go that far, and she certainly regretted it, knowing he felt it emboldened his current behaviour toward her. The memory of Alexander's hands all over her body made her feel queasy, but she swallowed that feeling down.
"If that's all you got out of what I told you, then fuck you, Beth."
"What more is there to get?" Beth sneered. "You've always been a bit of a slut, leading some of those guys on, so don't go acting like a prude just because you've got a Gryffindor boyfriend now."
Phoenix truly did want to be the bigger person, but anger clouded her judgement. How dare Beth talk to her like this. She didn't know what had caused her best friend to become so cruel, but she would be damned if she would stand here and take Beth's pent-up issues being shoved onto her.
"It's not my fault you aren't good enough for them, Beth." Without another word, Phoenix swivelled on her heel and marched out of the compartment. This might be the first year she was actually looking forward to her patrol duties, if only because it meant getting away from Beth until they reached Hogwarts.
To celebrate their final year at Hogwarts, the Marauders had an open-invite party upon their return to school. Phoenix had dressed to impress with killer eyeliner, glittery eyeshadows and a pair of shorts that showed off her long legs. As she strode in, she noticed Remus's eyes travel up her body and she was immensely pleased with her choice of attire. He walked over to her with a wry smile on his lips.
"You look...stunning."
"Don't I always?" She flipped her hair back for dramatic effect. As was seemingly custom, these parties were held in neutral territory. Tonight it was on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. A handful of Hufflepuffs had lugged a few couches out, whilst two Ravenclaws were perched over a miniature jukebox, attempting to magically coax it to life. Over by the trees, a few Slytherins had lit up and were smoking cigars. Regulus raised a hand in welcome as he spotted his sister.
Phoenix shrieked as Remus picked her up and spun her around, but she was laughing as he set her down on her feet. Remus always had a way of making her stomach flutter with butterflies, even if they'd been together for a while now. She pressed her lips to his in a passionate kiss, earning some wolf whistles from nearby observers.
"Oi, that's my sister you've got your hands on!" Sirius yelled, making several people laugh and Phoenix flip him a rude hand gesture. She let Remus help navigate her over to a free space on the couch. He flopped down and she happily perched on his lap, leaning back against him.
Phoenix was content people-watching. The Ravenclaw duo exchanged a high-five as they managed to get some tunes blaring, and Phoenix found herself jiggling her leg to the beat. James and Lily were engaged in intense conversation, while Sirius was holding court with a few flirtatious ladies as Peter stood by and tried to get some of the leftover attention.
A roar went up across the crowd. Phoenix instinctively reached for Remus's hand, but a wicked smile dawned on her lips when she realised what all the fuss was about - James Potter and Lily Evans were snogging. Now, that was a pair she had seen constantly argue, but never actually believed Lily would be genuinely interested in James. She made a mental note to question Lily about when this had happened.
"That has been years in the making," Remus said, shaking his head with a grin on his face. "Good on him."
"Alright, lovebirds, break it up!" Sirius waved his arms for attention. "It's time to play a game."
Remus sighed. "Oh, for the love of Merlin…"
Personally, Phoenix had to agree. Whenever any of the Marauders had a brilliant idea for a game, it was bound to involve mischief. Nonetheless, she waited for her brother to explain himself. Sirius grinned as all attention settled on him, which he was no doubt thoroughly enjoying.
"Alright, we are going to be playing Spin The Bottle."
The crowd groaned collectively. Phoenix wrinkled her nose, knowing that the game was always magically rigged. Besides, there was no way she wanted to be kissing random people. Remus's arm, which had been draped loosely around Phoenix's waist, tightened slightly.
"I'm not snogging you, Sirius!" A Hufflepuff boy yelled, causing a few giggles.
"Likewise, Benjy!" Sirius called back. "No, this is a new and improved version of the game. The two people who are picked have to perform the most ridiculous spell they can think of on each other, at the same time."
"Sounds like a trip to the hospital wing waiting to happen," Remus muttered dryly, and Phoenix personally had to agree.
"Harmless spells!" Sirius clarified above the chatter. "Only spells you know. Peter, I'm bloody looking at you."
Unease coiled in the pit of Phoenix's stomach. From the edge of the gathering, the Slytherin gang trailed over, their interest piqued. Anything that made a group of young Death Eaters intrigued was enough to give merit to Phoenix's unease. She bit her lip and gripped Remus's arm, but he shook his head slowly.
"It's okay, Nix. It's a party. The most that's going to happen is someone will need a potion to stop them barfing up feathers."
Phoenix pushed herself to her feet, watching as Sirius drained the last of his bottle of firewhiskey, muttering a spell before tossing it into the air. Everyone watched attentively as the bottle whirled in corkscrews, before finally stopping to expel a glittery silver name. Caradoc Dearborn. A burly brown-haired Ravenclaw boy that Phoenix barely recognised stepped forward, grinning widely, cracking his knuckles as Sirius tossed the bottle back in the air.
Peter Pettigrew.
"Well, he's fucked," Phoenix said mildly as Remus appeared at her side. The crowd took a few steps back to clear a circle for Peter and Caradoc. "As serious Prefects, you and I should be putting a stop to this kind of nonsense."
"We should." Remus chuckled, but made absolutely no move to intervene.
"Still don't know how James got Head Boy over you."
Remus shrugged, unperturbed. "Maybe Dumbledore thought he could use the kick in the ass."
A flash of yellow light made Phoenix blink, shielding her eyes. Peter examined himself frantically, before his shoulders slumped in relief. He made to say something, but all that came out was a loud squawk. He clapped his hands over his mouth and the crowd roared with laughter. Peter hurried off to stand with James, who gave him a shot of firewhiskey for his trouble.
"Next contestants!" Sirius pressed a dramatic kiss to the bottle before tossing it back up in the air. The glittery silver words appeared in the air again. Remus Lupin.
"Are you rigging this to see how good your friends are at duelling?" Beth Fawley called out, arching an eyebrow. Phoenix ignored her—she hadn't spoken to Beth since the incident on the train. Sirius tipped her a wink and sent the bottle spinning madly into the air again.
Alexander Wilkes.
"Remus." Bile rose in Phoenix's throat, her knees trembling. She thought she was going to be sick. She gripped her boyfriend's sleeve, but he gently pried her off.
"Phoenix, it's fine."
It wasn't fine. Alexander approached with delight glittering in his pale eyes and a smirk across his lips. This wasn't going to be some harmless spell. He and the other Slytherins had made their disdain for Remus apparent, and this was an open invitation to cement that contempt. Nudging her way through the crowd, Phoenix tapped on Sirius's shoulder.
"Sirius. Come on. Alexander will hurt him."
"Even the Slytherin boys know how to have fun, Nix." Sirius ruffled her hair affectionately. "Relax. They'd be dumb to try anything stupid out here in the open with everyone watching. That's not how their bullying tactics work."
Phoenix rubbed her arms as she watched Alexander and Remus step into the circle. Alexander took one last drag of his cigar before handing it to Isaac Mulciber. All of the Slytherin boys had that same smarmy smile on their faces. Remus was a talented wizard, but Phoenix was still scared for him. His expression was calm concentration as he faced off with Alexander. The boys pointed their wands at each other and spoke at the same time.
"Tarantallegra."
"Confringo."
"Protego!" Phoenix stepped in front of Remus at the last moment, the charm deflecting Alexander's spell. The Blasting Curse rebounded and smashed the bottle in Sirius's hand when he released it at the last moment. A nerve twitched in Alexander's cheek and he set his jaw. Remus's green eyes were wide with shock as he realised the volatility of the curse his girlfriend had deflected.
"Way to ruin the fun," Alexander sneered. The rest of the crowd had gone silent, wide-eyed at the display that had just unfolded in front of them. Everyone there was old enough to recognise the curse for what it was, and that Alexander's intentions had been less than innocent.
"Are you fucking kidding?" Phoenix demanded. She didn't care that everyone was looking at her. "That curse could have killed someone. Game over. This bullshit is too dangerous for parties."
"Let's wind it up, kids!" Sirius strode over, wincing at the shards of glass that Phoenix noticed were embedded in the palm of his hand. "Party's over."
Furious, Phoenix kept a firm grip on her wand, even as Remus touched her arm. He was remarkably unruffled for a boy who'd had a Blasting Curse thrown his way, but Remus seemed good at taking everything in his stride.
"Come on, let's go."
"Next time I try and tell you something, listen to me." She tugged away, scowling. She leaned in to speak more quietly. "He's a fucking Death Eater, Remus."
Remus's eyes widened. "What? Are you sure?"
"I wouldn't lie about it." Phoenix kept her voice low, absorbing the shock in Remus's green eyes. She knew that Alexander would be pissed if he knew she'd told Remus. "Please, trust me when I tell you, stay away from them."
The first week of sixth year had Phoenix feeling confident. She successfully tried out for the position of Chaser once again, which had been extra difficult due to Regulus giving her a hard time to avoid the appearance of favouritism. Potions class this year, she surmised as she entered, was quite a bit smaller than in past years. Most likely because not everyone had continued on to NEWT level.
Nonetheless, she had to fight to stay awake as Slughorn talked emphatically about Amortentia. Perhaps it was because she'd been with Lorna the night before, trying to work out how best to patch things up with Beth. They might have done a shot or two of firewhiskey. Even so, Phoenix didn't see why she owed Beth any sort of apology. Beth was the one who'd been a bitch.
"A love potion," Regulus drawled boredly from beside her, making Phoenix raise her head from where she had rested it on the desk, "You could teach them a thing or two, Phoenix. You're in love, aren't you?"
Behind them, Alexander snickered, and Phoenix threw him a venomous look. She nudged Regulus hard, ignoring his soft laughter. She didn't enjoy being made a mockery of, but lately her twin had a habit of showing off around his stupid friends.
"Since there's chatter over here, Miss Black, I'm certain you won't mind telling the class what you smell when I put Amortentia in front of you."
Phoenix was absolutely mortified at being put on the spot, and pissed because it was Regulus's goading that had gotten her there. Easing herself to her feet, she crossed over on shaking legs to the cauldron at the front of the classroom. Typically Phoenix didn't mind being the centre of attention, but when it came to class, it was a different matter entirely.
The potion had a distinctive sheen, and she could definitely pinpoint an aroma. Phoenix inhaled and took a moment to absorb the scents. Her cheeks flared with heat as she felt Slughorn's gaze on her, and she stumbled to answer.
"I...I smell roses, sandalwood and chocolate."
Regulus and Alexander were snickering quietly about something, but Phoenix flipped her ponytail back and went to set herself beside her brother with regal grace. She didn't even spare Alexander a glance. He wasn't worth her time.
"Well, what do you smell?" Phoenix shot at Regulus, and that made him shut up immediately as he muttered something she couldn't comprehend. Smug, she leaned back in her seat. When she raised her eyebrows expectantly and waited for a repetition, none was forthcoming. "That's what I thought."
Phoenix spent the rest of the class diligently taking notes, ignoring Regulus's attempts to peer over her shoulder. She wanted to prove this year that she was still one of the top students. Nothing was going to distract her from that. Not her Death Eater brother, not her boyfriend, not even whatever dramas her family might concoct.
Phoenix dreaded the patrols that she was scheduled on with Alexander Wilkes, especially since what he'd pulled at the party. She tapped her foot impatiently and blew a bubble of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum, trying to appear indifferent. In truth, she was shaken at the fact that Alexander had attempted to inflict serious harm on Remus.
"You're late."
He scoffed. "Since when do you care? You finish up early half of the time anyway."
She ignored the jab. "That was last year. Things are different now."
"Oh, are they?" Alexander arched an eyebrow. "Not going off to shag your half-blood boyfriend, then?"
"I never did that whilst on duty," Phoenix hissed through clenched teeth, not that it was any of his business. Feeling bold, she whirled to face him. "Besides, you're the complete git who tried to curse him during a party."
"Ah, but he had his girlfriend to protect him." A mocking smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "What a lucky lad."
"Remus is perfectly capable of taking care of himself without my protection," Phoenix said coldly, striding toward the corridors. If she had to be on patrol with this poor excuse for a wizard, then they should begin their rounds.
Alexander grabbed her arm and jerked her back. Phoenix stumbled and he took advantage of her unsteadiness to throw her against a wall. She attempted to disguise her sudden shock and trepidation with false bravado.
"Merlin, what is it with you and pushing me up against walls? I'm taken, thank you."
"You know what they call you?" Alexander sneered. "Blood traitor. It's not a label you want to stick, Phoenix. Just think about that."
"You know what they call you?" Phoenix mocked, ignoring the warning that flashed in his pale eyes. "Stupid bloody git."
Alexander pulled out his wand, and she tensed. She had underestimated him before. Was he going to try and curse her? She'd thought him above trying such bullshit on pure-bloods, but if he really did consider her a blood traitor like Sirius, he might attack her. Wisely, she decided not to sass him again, wincing as he pressed the tip of his wand to her throat.
"It's not just Lupin either. You're becoming awfully good friends with that little bitch Evans. A Mudblood. It's beneath you."
Phoenix didn't even dare to speak, not with his wand at her neck. She remembered Evan Rosier's words: You don't need to be afraid of him. I'd never let him hurt you. He was full of shit. They all were. Phoenix reached for her pocket, for her own wand. She didn't want to fight Alexander, but she was willing to defend herself.
"Are you afraid?" Alexander asked quietly, his eyes shining with glee. He wanted her to be, she realised with cold certainty. He wanted her fear, the fear of any students who would cross him—and she refused to give it to him. Instead, Phoenix retaliated by spitting in his face. As Alexander stumbled back, cursing and wiping his cheek, she ran.
Anxiety rose like a bubble in her chest, threatening to burst. Phoenix knew that she would get ripped into by Lily for ditching Prefect duty, but she couldn't be in Alexander's presence any longer. She thought of the edge of the Forbidden Forest, where the Ravenclaws had rigged up the music and the Hufflepuffs had provided couches. They had all seemed united then, but the truth was that they weren't. There was a war out there, and Phoenix thought it was stupid to forget that.
A chill ran up her arms as she wandered out onto the grounds. The night air was a cool, soothing balm. She tilted her face up to the stars and the full moon, smiling as she felt at peace for the first time since she'd returned to Hogwarts. Grimmauld Place had never felt like home. Hogwarts had always been that escape for her, and she wouldn't some stupid boy like Alexander Wilkes ruin that for her.
Phoenix took a few steadying breaths, counting in her head the way Remus had taught her when she struggled to take in air. Merlin, Remus was too good to her, better than she deserved. She had taken so long to tell him about the young Death Eaters, and there had been no judgement when she had finally let it slip. She dreaded telling him about Regulus, too. Maybe Sirius already would have.
"Phoenix!" The voice made her jump. Confusion wrinkled her brow as she watched Sirius sprinting across the grounds toward her. What in the name of Merlin was her older brother doing out here, and why did he look utterly terrified.
"Uh, hello."
"What are you doing here?" he demanded.
She quirked an eyebrow. "What are you doing here?"
"This isn't a game, Nix!" Sirius yelled, his eyes wide with panic. Movement caught the corner of her eye, though she didn't get the chance to process what exactly it was before Sirius grabbed her arm and broke into a run, dragging her stumbling along behind him. Her heart hammered in her chest as they headed back toward the castle, and it was only once they were inside that Phoenix clutched at her side, wincing at the stitch there.
"Fuck."
"You could've gotten yourself killed!" Sirius thundered, and his volume combined with the anger in his eyes told Phoenix this was no joke. She flinched at his loud voice, reminded of screaming matches at Grimmauld Place. Sirius sighed, raking his fingers through his hair. Beyond the fury was absolute terror—terror that something might have happened to her.
"You need to tell me what's going on right now." Phoenix's voice was strong despite the fact that her knees were trembling.
"Not now." Sirius shook his head slowly. "Come by the Gryffindor common room early tomorrow morning. We'll tell you everything."
"We?" She tilted her head to the side, a thousand questions running through her mind.
Sirius held up his hands. "Phoenix, I have to go. It'll all make sense, I promise."
Phoenix opened her mouth to protest, but her brother's expression remained firm. Sirius stepped forward and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, tugging her into a hug. Affection wasn't something common in her family, so she cherished it where she could find it.
"Just don't go wandering the grounds tonight, alright?"
"I'd make an Unbreakable Vow if you wanted." Phoenix smiled wryly. "Tomorrow morning. That's a promise."
Phoenix barely got a wink of sleep. She didn't return to patrol with Alexander, but her stomach twisted with dread knowing that he wouldn't forgive or forget her spitting in his face. Neither did she wish to return to the Forbidden Forest. There had been real fear in Sirius's face when he had found her, something rare in her Gryffindor older brother. It made the knots in her stomach tighten even further.
She rolled out of bed at the crack of dawn, heading up to the Gryffindor common room and waiting outside the portrait of the Fat Lady, who cast a judgemental look at her.
"You know, you need a password to get in."
"Oh, sod off."
The portrait opened and Sirius beckoned from the other side. Phoenix headed in, noticing that her brother wasn't alone. James was standing behind the couch, arms folded over his chest. Peter was flopped on the couch, fidgeting nervously. Remus sat in front of the fire with a blanket around him and a steaming mug in his hands. Why did this look like some kind of intervention? Suddenly nervous, Phoenix looked to Sirius for answers.
"Tell us what you saw," James said.
"Last night, I…" Phoenix licked her lips. Her eyes were fixed on Remus, whose expression was one of immense guilt. "I thought I saw a creature out there, on the grounds, near the Forbidden Forest. An animal, I guess."
"Well, that's that then." Peter's expression brightened, and he made to push himself up off the couch, only for Sirius to grab his shoulders and drag him back down. There was a grim expression on his face.
"No. My sister deserves the truth. She could have been killed."
"What are you talking about?" Phoenix's irritation was beginning to rise. "You told me that I'd get answers, Sirius."
"James, Peter and I are Animagi." Sirius sucked in a deep breath. "We have been for years."
Remus looked away as if in pain, and Phoenix just wished he would say something. Why did he look so pale? When Sirius talked about the rest of them being Animagi, what did that make Remus?
"And Remus?" she asked softly.
"He's a werewolf." The words hung in the air for a few moments, before Sirius continued. "We became Animagi because we couldn't be there for him like this, but in our animal forms...he wouldn't be alone."
A werewolf. She had heard her parents talking about them as disgusting creatures who deserved to be shunned from wizarding society. But when she thought of Remus, she could only picture the kind, compassionate and intelligent boyfriend she knew and loved. She had expected to see him differently, and yet all she felt was a wave of sympathy.
That was why Remus wouldn't tell her where he went every month. That was why the very discussion led to such a guilty look on his face. Even now, he couldn't look at him, his expression ashamed as his head remained downcast. He was waiting for her verdict, she realised. He was waiting for her to push him away.
"Okay." Phoenix nodded slowly as she processed the information. So it meant her boyfriend needed to be away from her once a month, with his friends who clearly knew well how to handle his shifts.
"Okay?" Remus's head shot up, green eyes narrowing. He put his mug down and rose to his feet. "How is any of that okay, Phoenix? I could have killed you last night, don't you get that?"
His words were cutting, but she lifted her chin. "I'm not scared."
"You should be." Remus looked to the others. James shrugged his shoulders and Sirius just sighed. When none of them commented, he approached his girlfriend and gripped her shoulders, urgency flaring in his eyes. "I'm a fucking werewolf, Nix."
She shook her head fervently. "You didn't choose that."
The time would come when she would ask Remus how he became a werewolf, but considering how frantic he was about the fact that she even knew, now was not the time. Pain flickered in his eyes and he released her, stepping away.
"I'm a monster."
Sirius rolled his eyes and James exhaled deeply. Clearly, it was not the first time they had heard him talk like this.
"No you're not," Phoenix insisted, grabbing his arm and turning him to face her, "I love you."
She had wanted to admit to her feelings in private, but she didn't care if the rest of the Marauders knew. All she cared about was Remus. She wanted him to know that he was loved, that she cared no matter his condition. It explained a lot, but it also didn't mean she would judge him for it. At her words, Remus's expression softened, green eyes lighting up.
"I love you too."
She hugged him close, burying her face in his shirt. Remus wrapped his arms around her. He smelled like sandalwood and chocolate, and her heart did a flip when she recalled that was part of what her Amortentia had the scent of. Heat rose in her cheeks, but she had to say that she didn't mind. It meant what she felt for Remus was genuine.
"I feel like I'm third wheeling," James muttered from behind them.
"This is awkward," Peter agreed.
"Get a room," Sirius added.
"Oh, shut up, you lot," Remus said, but he was smiling. Phoenix loved that damn smile. She hated when Remus doubted himself, and now that doubt made sense. He thought he wasn't deserving of her because he was a werewolf. Phoenix thought Remus was the most genuine, kind and clever person she knew, and she would do anything to prove to him that he was worthy of love.