The night was finally over.

I had served drinks like a robot, taking the orders, preparing the beverages, giving them to the customers, taking the next orders... I hadn't looked to the side, I hadn't stopped, I hadn't thought. I had simply gone through the motions, forcing myself not to be in my head, not even for a second, for as long as I could.

After the club closed I made quick work of organizing my station and grabbing my things. I was outta there and in the parking lot in half the usual time. I walked fast toward my car, biting my lower lip to keep the tears at bay.

I wasn't really sure why I still felt like crying... Jasper had never promised me anything, on the contrary, he'd warned me numerous times, I had been aware of his terms all along... And it wasn't like I had really lost him or we had broken up, we hadn't been in a relationship.

But thinking rationally, being rational, and acting as such are very different things.

I knew there was no reason for me to be so angry and, at the same time, so sad...

Okay, I had just admitted I was indeed in love with the heart-eater... But that wasn't a good enough reason to feel so beaten. I hadn't be deluded, I'd always known what Jasper and I had would end at some point, so why was I feeling hurt as if I had expected for more?

I hadn't... Or had I?

My throat was so sore once I reached my car that I had to take a moment. I breathed as deeply as I could and tried to swallow but... It was no use.

Bowing my head and resting my forehead on the cold metal of the roof of my car, I allowed the fucking tears to come. I sobbed a little, but I restrained the sounds and cried as softly as I could, just to find some relief.

Suddenly I felt two strong hands on my upper arms, turning me so strongly and fast that I couldn't have resisted the movement if I'd wanted to.

Ryan's eyes were worried, and they searched mine in silence for only a brief moment before he pulled me into his arms.

"What did he do to you?" He asked softly. "Tell me."

Some sobs came out stronger, a little louder... I had to take a deep breath before speaking.

"He didn't do anything..." I assured in a wavering voice. "I was the one who did something."

Ryan pushed me a little to look at me.

"What did you do?" His tone was gentle and caring.

I took another deep breath.

"I told him I'm in love with him."

Ryan's countenance seemed to become even more concerned for a moment, then it softened.

"How did he react?"

I huffed.

"He let go of me as soon as the words were out."

Oddly, Ryan looked confused for an instant. He frowned.

I shrugged.

"I caught him with a guy..." I explained slowly. "You were right. The pain I felt was so acute... I couldn't deny what I feel anymore." I heaved a sigh while shaking my head. "And then I knew what I had to do, I knew I had to end it, or else I would hurt even more... Actually, it was already over anyway... It's been over since I told him I liked him four days ago."

"That's why you were sad..." Ry concluded accurately.

I nodded.

"And that's why I told him right away. I told him how I feel with all the words, I knew how he would react..." I bowed my head, letting more tears trickle down. "And I guess a part of me also wanted to try my luck... To see if I was mistaken, if he would react differently." I looked at Ry again. "I wasn't." I pursed my lips, feeling more tears flowing along my cheeks.

Clenching and unclenching his jaw, Ryan heaved a weighted breath. Then he pulled me to him again, holding my head against his shoulder.

"I'm here, okay?" He vowed softly. I nodded on his shoulder. He pushed me a bit. "Whatever you need, I'm here."

"Can you stay with me tonight? Please?" I uttered impulsively.

Ryan nodded promptly.

"Let's go in my car. Leave yours here. I'll take you to college tomorrow."

We walked silently together to his car. As I closed the door and turned distracted to the window, I saw Jasper standing at the door of the club, watching me. His expression was somber.

Has he been there this whole time?

I shook my head and looked away from where he was, bringing my stare to the windshield and ahead.

I certainly didn't want him to have seen me crying... But he had already anyway, at the rooftop...

Ryan started the car and then covered my hand with his. I looked at him.

"You'll be fine." He assured me with a gentle smile.

I just nodded and turned my palm up, interlacing our fingers. Ryan softly squeezed my hand and looked ahead.

I forced myself not to look at the rearview mirror as we drove away.

#(Dis)Sonant*Chapter9#

"Ry..." I mumbled sleepily with my eyes closed.

I felt him moving on my bed and I assumed he was turning to face me, so I forced my eyelids to open.

"Would you feel awkward if I asked you to come closer?" I asked cautiously.

Ryan smiled his trade toothy grin. I immediately felt like smiling too and so I did it.

"I'm already lying on your bed with you, in only my underwear." He spoke chuckling. "I think we got past the awkward part." He laughed a bit.

He came closer and kissed my forehead. Then laid his head on my pillow and looked into my eyes caringly.

"How you're feeling?" His voice came out low and kind, and his gaze was gentle over me.

I shrugged.

"I'm okay, I guess."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment. I felt his hand on my face, his thumb subtly fondling my cheek.

His touch felt soothing, I felt immediately comfortable and sheltered. I smiled in another sigh, and opened my eyes to him.

"Why didn't I fall for you?" The question came up without my full conscious permission.

Ry chuckled.

"You would be hurting too if that was the case..."

"Ouch..." I squinted, pretending I was hurt.

We both laughed a little. Then Ry became serious, his stare really warmhearted in mine.

"You're such a sweet guy, Edward..." He stated with sincerity pouring out of his slanted eyes. "Besides all your qualities, which are not a few." He chuckled again and I followed him a bit embarrassed. "I would fall in love with you so easily if I wasn't already in love with someone else."

"Really?" I frowned as I asked that.

Sighing, Ry held my chin up.

"Why don't you see yourself as you are?" He was squinting. "I really don't understand how you can be so insecure. You truly don't know how gorgeous, interesting, and attractive you are, do you?"

I huffed in disagreement and averted my eyes.

I heard Ry sighing again before letting go of my face. We spent a moment in silence.

"Do you think we would've worked as a couple?" I asked in a lighthearted tone, wanting to lift the mood, and looked back at him.

Ryan's smile was so beautiful and spontaneous that, as usual, I smiled broadly in consequence.

"I would've definitely made you feel more self-assured." He winked at me and laughed.

I laughed too.

"Can I ask something?" I was careful because I knew he didn't like to talk about that... Or that's what I thought.

"Sure."

"What did you feel when I kissed you?"

Ryan looked away from me, but clearly to think and not to avoid me or my question. He nibbled his lower lip as he seemed to mull it over for a moment, and then he brought his eyes back to mine with a mischievous look in them.

"I was entranced." He said in a grave voice before taking in a deep gush of air. "And my body responded quicker than I had expected." He chuckled out of the blue and I assumed it was because I was blushing. "One thing is certain... You kiss like a pro."

I smiled embarrassedly.

"Really...?" I asked tentatively, furrowing my eyebrows.

"Really." Ryan affirmed while arching his.

I'm not sure why or where it came from, but this sudden naughtiness took over me and made me act kinda provocatively.

Scooting closer to Ryan, I brought my face inches from his.

"What would you do if I kissed you again?" I asked in a soft tone.

Ry's eyes dropped to my lips, and I deliberately smiled crookedly. He brought his gaze back to mine and I noticed his eyes were a bit bigger.

"You know you're playing with fire, Kid." He replied in a husky voice that I had never heard before coming from him.

"Don't call me kid." I gave back, getting even closer. "I can prove to you I'm not one."

Ryan sighed and brought his hand to my neck, holding my head in place.

"You're really doing this?" He asked quirking one eyebrow.

His tone was so grave and sexy out of a sudden... For a moment there I wasn't blue anymore.

"What am I doing?" I spoke in a serious voice.

Ry heaved a weighted breath and I felt his fingers pressing a bit more intensely against the skin of my neck.

"You're wittingly tempting me." He affirmed and gave me a subtle smile. "I can give you what you want, but just this time."

I felt a spontaneous smile forming on my lips.

"What is it that you think I want?"

"Comfort." He stated softly, then brought his face closer. "I told you, remember? Whatever you need."

We both became serious after his words.

The truth was... I wasn't really thinking. I just knew I wanted to be with him at that moment.

"Do you want me?" My voice came out wavering. "At least on some level...? Or you would do this just because..."

Ryan's lips were on mine in a heartbeat, shutting me up.

We parted our lips and our tongues touched languidly for a moment...

Then Ry nibbled my bottom lip and broke the kiss.

"I never do something I don't want to." He assured me in earnest while pulling me to hover over him.

I straddled his hips and leaned down until our noses were touching. Ryan's hands were firmly wrapped around my neck. He brought me to him and molded our lips together, gently at first...

Only a couple of minutes later our underwear was on the floor...

I had him inside me for the rest of the night.

#(Dis)Sonant*Chapter9#

I woke up to the sound of my doorbell.

I tried to turn on the bed to get up, but Ryan's heavy arm was around me.

"Ry..." I called him softly. He just mumbled something inapprehensible. "I need to get that."

He squeezed me a bit before letting me go. I chuckled and got up, picking up my underwear and Ryan's shirt (just because it was the closest one) on the floor and putting them on as I made to the door.

"Surprise" was a very poor word to describe what I felt once I saw who was outside.

"We need to talk." Jasper stated while storming inside before I could say anything.

Frowning, I closed the door slowly and turned to where he stood, right in the middle of my living room.

Jasper looked at me with attentive eyes, clearly noticing my clothes...

"What do you want?" The sentence came out softer than I had intended.

"To talk." His voice was oddly cautious.

I chuckled humorlessly.

"About what? We have nothing to talk about."

He came closer, his eyes focused on mine.

"What happened last night..."

"Just don't!" I cut him off. "You don't owe me anything."

"Edward, I don't want to..."

"Edward, what's taking you so long...?" Ryan's voice sounded sleepy but loving as it reached us.

I looked toward the corridor just as he crossed the arch in only his underwear, rubbing the back of his hands over his eyes.

"Come back to bed, it's only six..." He cut himself off, halting his steps as he finally noticed the other person in the room. "Aiden." He uttered.

I turned to Jasper right when he gasped quietly, and I felt a little admired by the fact that he was obviously stunned.

His amber eyes widened and were suddenly fierce over Ryan.

They shared a weird look, and then Jasper gazed hesitantly at me.

I looked at Ry and waited until he brought his eyes to mine. He seemed a bit embarrassed but calm.

"I'll be there in a minute, Ry." My voice came out unintentionally gentle.

Ry smiled tentatively and nodded. And then he was gone.

"Are you two..." Jasper started asking.

"None of your business." I cut him off harshly as I brought my stare back at him.

He dropped his gaze to the floor so immediately that I almost felt bad for being stern... Almost. Once he looked at me again, his whole expression was so cautious that I found it strange.

"Edward, I just want to fix this." He said guardedly.

The chuckle that left me involuntarily was dry and skeptical.

"Fix what?" I scoffed.

Jasper stepped closer with a wary countenance. I even squinted, finding it was really odd for him to be showing emotion.

"This." He said softly while flicking his index finger between us once. "I don't wanna stop seeing you."

I laughed. I really laughed. And Jasper just stood there, staring at me as if he thought I was crazy.

"Why the hell are you laughing?" He sounded a bit disappointed, or maybe it was just an impression.

"You were the one who disappeared on me." I replied chuckling. "And now you tell me you don't wanna stop seeing me?"

"I didn't disappear." He countered in a low voice.

I huffed.

"Yeah, you were there at the club every night." I snidely remarked with a condescending sneer. "I'm talking about the hundred calls and texts you didn't answer for four days..."

Jasper sighed, looking away for a moment while carding his fingers through his loose hair.

I averted my eyes for just a second, not to get entranced by the stupid beautiful flow of his strands.

"I needed time to process what you told me." He justified, still not looking at me.

I chuckled.

"So you didn't hear what I said last night." I affirmed.

He looked at me, once again with a guarded gaze.

"I did. Loud and clear."

I frowned.

"And that you don't need to process?"

He released a puff of air and stepped closer again. We were only inches from each other, I had to tilt my head back to keep looking at him.

And then I felt his hands on my arms, gently pressing my skin.

I shivered inwardly.

"This is not easy for me." He said as if confessing a secret, and I could read something very similar to fear in his eyes. "I'm going against my own principles here..."

I shrugged off of his hold and stepped back.

"Please, don't put yourself out on my account." I made a point of sounding sarcastic.

Again surprising the hell out of me, Jasper reacted visibly.

He huffed, closed his eyes, and pursed his lips. Then he looked at me with pleading eyes.

I held back my amazement. I didn't want him to know how much he was affecting me.

"Edward, don't be like this."

"Like what?" I defied him, tilting my chin up and looking at him with disdain.

"You're acting like a bratty child."

And that was the final straw.

I looked away from him, clenching my jaw.

"Get out." I demanded in a low but earnest tone.

"Edward..." He tried.

I glared at him, feeling my whole face warming up.

"I said... Get. Out." I didn't raise my voice, but I punctuated every word so he would understand how serious I was.

He took a step toward me. I stepped back, turned on my heels, and made to my door, yanking it open. I wasn't looking at him.

Jasper walked slowly and stopped right before me.

"I don't want to say it again, so please..." I spoke before he said anything, gesturing with my hand toward the door and still not looking at him.

As soon as he was out I slammed the door shut.

Squeezing my eyes closed, I leaned on the wall, breathing forcefully slowly and deeply to calm down.

Then I went back to my room.

I found Ryan sitting on the edge of my bed with a pensive expression. He brought his eyes to me once I crossed the doorsill.

"He has feelings for you." He stated simply.

I halted. Ryan smiled.

"Are you really surprised? You couldn't tell?" He asked, arching his eyebrows high.

"Did you overhear everything?" I just wanted to confirm.

Ry nodded.

"You two weren't really talking quietly." He justified.

I sighed and sat by his side. Ry folded his right leg and turned to me.

"Why didn't you listen to what he wanted to say?"

I shrugged.

"What's the point?"

"Edward, really... How can't you tell? Do you think he does that often? He came after you. At six in the morning!"

"It's almost seven already..." I dismissed. "And he just wants to keep fucking me."

Ry chuckled and looked at me incisively.

"Do you know how many of his hookups he saw twice?" He asked with an incredulous smile. I shrugged. "None."

I heaved a sigh and shook my head.

"What are you trying to tell me?"

"I'm not trying to tell you anything, I am telling you... Aiden has feelings for you." He asserted. "Will you really just let this go? You're in love with him, don't you wanna be with him? 'Cause this is your chance."

"This is not a chance of any sort, he doesn't have feelings for me..." I countered hesitantly. "It's just... Sex."

"Edward," Ry spoke in a chuckle. "It was just sex between us. Aiden coming here to try to talk to you? That's not simple lust. He saw me here, and it was plain clear what we've done. And still, he tried to make you listen to him." He shook his head, sporting a reassuring smile. "I'm not as close to him as I used to be, but I know him well... He wouldn't go through all this trouble just for a hookup, no matter how hot the guy was."

I felt my heart pounding, in my chest and in my temples.

I didn't want to get hurt, I didn't want to risk my emotional control again, but... What Ryan was saying made so much sense...

"Do you really think..." I started.

"I know." Ry interrupted me gently with a sigh. "I've actually been suspicious for a while. I didn't share my thoughts with you because I wasn't sure, and I didn't want you to get your hopes up... But I've noticed, since the beginning, that he behaves differently with you. For starters, he's never toyed with you, he takes you to his house and... Fuck, Edward, he's been seeing you steadily for almost three months! I've known him for seven years and I've never seen him with the same guy twice."

"But he's been with a hundred other guys while with me..." I contradicted softly.

Ryan held my face in his hands and gave me a pointed look.

"That's a defense mechanism." He stated earnestly. Then he sighed and his gaze softened. "I know it doesn't really make sense, but maybe, if you give yourself and him a chance, this chance he seemed to be looking after when he came here, it will. And then you'll see what I'm seeing. It's different with you."

I closed my eyes for a split second, shaking my head, but Ryan wasn't having it. He held my head a bit more firmly and made me look back at him.

"Look, I care about you, I would never encourage you to do this if I wasn't sure of what I'm saying. I've been impartial all this time exactly because I didn't want to influence you but... Now I am certain. He has feelings for you and what just happened...? That shows he's willing to try." Ry wet his lips and sighed, then smiled. "Do you have any idea what I would give to have the same chance with Emmett?"

Suddenly my heart was threatening to beat out of my chest, and Ryan's words, besides starting to make me see things in a different way, in a hopeful way, boosted my confidence.

"What should I do?" I blurted the question out, abruptly anxious.

"Maybe the same he did?" Ry replied with an approving smile while arching his eyebrows high. "Go after him."

We shared a knowing stare and smiled at each other. I nodded.

"I'll take a shower real quick."

Ry nodded, grinning.

"Do you mind if I go back to bed?"

"You can stay as much as you want." I assured him while seeing him laying down and getting cozy in my bedsheets. "I'll leave the spare key on the door lock."

Ry nodded again before closing his eyes and I hurried up to my en-suite.

#(Dis)Sonant*Chapter9#

"Edward!" Jasper uttered as he opened the door to me.

He had put the gate remote control in my car a while before, so he hadn't seen me getting into his property.

I looked hesitantly at him.

"Can I..." I started asking, gesturing toward the inside hall with my hand.

Jasper promptly gave me room to pass, his eyes a bit wider on me.

I walked slowly to his living room, feeling his stare and presence behind me. I stopped and turned in the middle of the room.

"I'm sorry if I was rude earlier, I..."

He was before me and his hands were around my arms in a heartbeat.

"No, I'm the one who's sorry for offending you like that, it's just..." He said everything in a haste, his eyes unquiet. "It's... a defense mechanism."

Ryan's words came to me immediately. My heart was racing inside my chest.

I tilted my head back to better hold his gaze.

"What is?" I asked softly.

Jasper's countenance became wary, and once again I was stunned by the fact that he was visibly reacting.

"All that..." He clarified in a sigh. "Everything... Everything I do."

We shared a moment of silence, and he seemed expectant while I felt a bit confused.

"Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?" The question just came out.

"That too... but... There's something else." He looked away from me for a second or two while sighing again. Then he gazed gently at me. "Are you going to listen this time?"

I just nodded.

Jasper let go of my left arm and slid his left hand along my arm until he found my hand, and then he interlaced our fingers.

I was in awe as he took me to the patio, walking with no hurry hand in hand with me. Once we were in front of the pool, he sat on one of the round chaise lounge chairs and pulled my hand gently, encouraging me to sit beside him.

As soon as I did, he folded his left leg and turned to me, his gaze wary.

"I want you to get to know me..." He spoke in a low, careful tone, as if telling me a secret. "The real me. But... I can't do this overnight."

And I could see clearly in his countenance why... Fear was written all over his face.

I felt my heart clenching a little... It was not pleasant to see him vulnerable.

Jasper moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue, attracting my attention to his lush mouth.

I sighed... He sighed.

I looked at his eyes, feeling my heart flying.

"Can we try this again?" He asked.