A/N:
Unfortunately for her, Bess has no idea that James has an invisibility cloak. One day she'll see it and it will click in her mind, but she's completely forgotten that he owned the cloak before Harry... Enjoy!
xXx
Bess, who had been walking at a fast pace but aimlessly throughout the grounds, felt like she was being watched.
In fact, she'd had the feeling since she first exited the castle, but every time she'd turn around, there was no one, not even an animal in sight.
She'd intended to spend her time thinking about her plan of action for the Horcruxes - she was trying to think about the positives, and knew that she now had a dedicated slot of time each week where she would be completely alone and able to research spells, try to remember key details such as where the Horcruxes were, and, actually just have some alone time for the first time in a while.
However, this was all derailed the instant she'd felt someone's gaze on her.
She'd been walking for about half an hour when she heard a large twig snap, and whirled around, wand drawn.
Searching for where the noise had come from, she concluded it had must have been something in the forest next to her, and so could have been anything.
Frowning, she began to walk backwards, narrowing her eyes and staring in to the forest as she went.
She could have sworn she heard a loud whine, the second before a voice called out behind her. "Whoa there! Don' want ter step any further back than tha' I'd wager!"
Bess turned to see a massive man standing below her. Looking down, she realised that if she'd taken one more step, she would have gone flying down the hill backwards!
"Oh, uh, thank you!" She called down to the man.
Hagrid! she thought, a grin taking over her face.
"What yer doin' out so early then?"
"I just needed a walk. It clears my head!" She half-shouted back.
"Well, be more careful will yeh?" He called, smiling up at her.
"I will, thank you!" Bess replied, waving and smiling at the gigantic gamekeeper.
She was comforted that he hadn't said to keep an eye out for anything, and was just thinking about where to walk next, when she heard another twig snap.
The smile dropped from her face and she slowly turned around, expecting to see a massive animal or creature right behind her.
What she did see was, for Bess, much worse.
Before she could even comprehend what she was doing, she screamed and stepped backwards, tumbling straight over the hillside, her arms windmilling as she tried hopelessly to keep her balance.
Her back hit the ground first, followed by her head, which bounced on impact. The breath knocked out of her lungs and she cried out in pain.
Before she could do anything else, her legs flew over her head and she began to tumble, spiral, and roll down the hill at speed. At some point she managed to change the way she was falling, from head over arse to lengthways, which helped to slow her descent somewhat.
As she came to a stop on the gravel path Hagrid had been standing on, her arms flung out either side of her and she let out a little whimper and two small sobs of pain.
"What did I tell yeh?" Hagrid asked in a worried tone, as he practically ran towards her.
"I'm sorry, I saw something in the treeline and just jumped back by instinct." She managed to wheeze out.
"Ah. Well... Yeah, that'd do it. Nasty things in tha' forest, lemme tell yer tha'. Can yer stand?" He asked, looking down at her and holding out a hand.
Bess slowly sat up, groaning, and, taking Hagrid's hand, tried to stand up by kneeling on the ground before bringing her left knee up and then putting her weight her ankle.
The pain was so great that Bess cried out as she fell back down immediately.
"I think I broke my ankle." She moaned.
Looking for her wand, her eyes widened as she realised it wasn't on the path. It must have fallen out when I was falling! No! She thought, and tried to crawl back up the hill, staring at every branch she could find.
"Oi! What're yer doin'? Yer could 'ave more injuries!" Hagrid shouted behind her.
"My wand! I've lost it somewhere! I need to find it!" She said, still frantically looking and ignoring the pain in her ankle, and the aches and pains now radiating from her ribs, left arm, right knee and right shoulder.
She felt a pair of giant hands grab her elbows, and was pulled away from the hillside she'd been trying to crawl up, and deposited back on to the gravel path.
She immediately lifted her left leg off the ground and used Hagrid's arm to steady herself as she tried to stand.
"Look 'ere. It seems as though yeh took a rather nasty tumble. Let's get yeh to the 'ospital wing and-"
"No! I have to find my wand! Please! I don't want to go to the hospital wing, I just need my wand!" She cried, eyes scouring the shrubbery.
To tell the truth, Bess was scared of the hospital wing. She'd spent so long in St Mungo's that as much as she would have loved to have met Madam Pomfrey, she didn't want to spent another minute cooped up on her own around medicinal potions.
"Righ' er... Wha's yer name?"
"Bess." She replied, finally looking up into the face of the kind half-giant.
"Then, 'ow about this, Bess? My 'ut's only over there, how about yer come with me an' we'll get yer a nice cuppa tea. I'll send word for Madam Pomfrey an' she can come down 'ere teh treat yeh. Does that sound alrigh'?" Hagrid asked slowly, as if she was a wounded animal about to take flight.
"Yes. I- I guess so. But my-"
"Everything alright down there?" Called a voice from the top of the hillside.
Bess and Hagrid looked up to see James Potter standing at the top. If he hadn't have had leaves stuck in his hair, and, honestly, if she didn't know better, she would have thought he'd had the same idea as her and gone for an early morning stroll.
"Ah James! Brillian' timin' I'd say! Young Bess 'ere's in a bad way. Got a broken ankle an' more. Could yeh run and fetch Madam Pomfrey? We'll be at my 'ut."
James nodded and shot Bess a concerned look. As he turned to leave, Bess yelled out to him.
"Hey! I can't find my wand! I've lost it somewhere. Could you accio it or something? Please?" She asked, pain, worry, upset and panic evident in her voice.
"Yeh've jus' fallen down a hill an' you're honestly more concerned abou' yer wand than yerself?" Hagrid asked in a shocked tone.
"Of course! Injuries can be healed. I'm defenceless if I don't have my wand!" She said frantically. She felt naked and afraid without its warming comfort in her hand or in her pocket.
James nodded and waved his wand. A second later, a stick flew out from the hillside and landed at his feet.
Bess let out a loud groan of relief, which was swiftly followed by a moan of pain as she fell to her knees, her injuries finally taking first place in her mind.
"Run now, James!" Hagrid called up to the dark haired boy, before scooping Bess up in his arms and beginning to walk.
Before she could even thank him, Bess passed out.
xXx
Bess moaned and opened her eyes. Her body felt numb like she was under the effects of a strong pain potion, but she still had a bit of a headache.
"She's awake." Came a voice from her side as she began to open her eyes. "Go and fetch Poppy, I'll stay with her."
"Whereami?" she asked quietly, slurring her words.
"What?" Asked the voice.
"Where... where am I?" She asked, incredibly slowly, as she tried to annunciate every word.
"Hospital wing."
"What?" Bess cried as she sat straight up, swaying and panting with the effort of it, and went to remove her covers.
As she ripped off the comfortable sheets, she realised that she wasn't in her clothes anymore, but was in a long sleeved flannel shirt and a matching pair of men's pyjama trousers.
"What am I wearing?" She asked, eyes wide, staring down at the foreign clothes.
"Sirius' pyjamas. Well, I say his pyjamas, he sleeps in his boxers... but we couldn't make you wear the hospital gowns, and we didn't know what your pyjamas looked like to summon them."
"Why his?" She asked, frowning.
"Do you really think he would have let you wear Peter's?" James asked with a loud laugh.
"I'm so confused..." Bess said, bringing her hands to her head and groaning. "Where are the girls?"
"They stopped by earlier for a few hours, but they got chucked out. Lily's stomach growled and she shouted at me when I laughed, so..." He said, shrugging. "They'll be back tomorrow."
"Why didn't they bring my pyjamas when they visited?" She asked slowly.
"Oh, uh... don't think we thought of that..."
Bess was about to reply when she saw her curtains move back and a kind faced witch in matrons robes stepped forwards.
"Miss Coulson?" She asked.
"Yes?"
"Ah, so you remember who you are at least! My name's Madam Pomfrey, I'm the matron. Do you remember what happened earlier today?"
"Uh- yeah..." she said slowly, remembering the scene. As she did, it clicked properly in her mind who was standing beside her. "Why're you still here?" She asked him.
James simply shrugged.
"Miss Coulson? Do you remember what happened?" Madam Pompey asked again.
Bess, who was wondering why she couldn't just have a normal day at this school, said, "uh- yes. I was just walking, and then I... uh... can I say it without him here?"
"Hey! Why can't I know?" James asked incredulously.
She turned to look at the teen and frowned. "Because you'll laugh at me."
"Will not!" He cried, placing a hand to his heart as if offended by her accusation.
"You definitely will! And you'll go and tell everyone else!"
"Tell everyone else what?" Sirius asked as he appeared around the curtain. He looked paler than she'd seen him before, and he seemed a bit on edge.
She wondered if they'd had time to sleep yet after their long night with Remus, but one glance at the large clock above the door told her that they probably had - she'd been out like a light for most of the day, and it was now almost dinnertime.
"What happened to her." James replied to Sirius, before turning back to Bess. "Look, we won't laugh if we can help it. But... don't be embarrassed about what you saw... this morning I thought I saw a rather large looking thing. Almost like a small bear. Very scary... is that what you saw?"
Bess frowned deeply. "No. No it's not. Are there bears in the forest?" As she said it, she understood he meant Sirius' animagus form, but she didn't see Padfoot while she was outside, so they must have just been worried she'd seen them all out before dawn in their animagus and wolf forms. "Wait, where's my wand?" She asked, trying to get out of the bed.
She was pushed back down immediately by the matron's strong arms, and then James handed her her wand. She sighed in relief and clutched it to her chest.
"Miss Coulson, we really do need to know what you saw, and what made you so scared that you jumped over a steep hillside!" Madam Pomprey added. She seemed worried.
Bess realised they must have been worried that she'd seen Remus in his wolf form.
Bess pursed her lips and looked down, wringing her hands together, playing with her wand. She mumbled a reply quietly.
"I'm sorry dear, I didn't catch that."
Bess mumbled again.
"I'm sorry?" The matron asked again.
"A rat, okay? I saw an untamed rat in the grass and freaked out. It was headed straight for me!" She shuddered and rubbed her arms, trying to forget the creature.
"WHAT?" James shouted, as Sirius gaped at her.
"I know, I know!" She cried, lifting her arms into the air. "I just really hate rats, okay? They're... just awful!" She added, shuddering again and sticking her tongue out in disgust.
She heard Sirius and James start laughing.
"Don't laugh!" she cried. "You said you wouldn't laugh!"
This just made them laugh harder.
It was as if all the tension still inside her broke, and Bess began to laugh as well.
xXx
Two hours later, once Bess had been informed that she would be staying overnight while her injuries healed, she found herself being wheeled over to the bed next to Remus'.
She was told that he'd been in an accident on Friday morning and wasn't feeling well, and she'd pretended to believe them and convincingly given him her sympathies.
Satisfied that she wasn't going to ask any questions, Remus pulled out the remainder of the giant bar of chocolate that she'd given him in Potions, and Peter, James and Sirius sat around Remus' bed so the five of them could chat.
Madam Pomfrey had said they needed to keep a respectful distance from Bess' bed, seeing as how she was only wearing pyjamas, so they were closer to Remus' bed. Though Sirius did pitch up a chair almost smack bang in the middle of the two injured teens, as close to Bess' bed as he could without being moved back by Madam Pomfrey. Finally, when the matron nodded and walked off, James sat down next to Sirius, and Peter sat on the other side of Remus.
She hadn't spoken to Sirius about what happened on Thursday, but instead they'd fallen back into their groove. Part of her also just wanted to go back to how they were before their chat, since she selfishly really wanted a cuddle after her ordeal.
However, she couldn't say any of that in front of his friends, and so soon enough, talk moved on to Bess' accident.
"I still can't believe it was a rat that spooked you..." James laughed.
"I can't believe you saw a giant bear thing! Honestly, what's in that forest?" Bess asked, with a fake incredulous tone.
"Uh- yeah. I actually thought you would have seen it too..." Sirius said, coughing slightly.
"No, I don't think I did..." she said with a frown. "How do you know about it?"
"James told me." Sirius coughed again and looked down at his lap. He was obviously lying.
It all slotted into place, and confirmed for Bess that it had been Padfoot in the forest. He'd been watching her since she exited the castle, so he'd thought he'd shown himself to her and as a result she'd screamed and fallen off the hillside. That was probably why he was so pale and worried when I woke up, she thought.
Before she could say anything, Peter, who seemed affronted that she was so scared of a rat she'd jump off a hillside to escape it, asked her why she was scared of rats.
"What could be worse?" She asked, breaking off a bit of chocolate before passing the bar to Sirius.
"Being tortured to death?" Remus offered.
Bess gave him a look which said "that's already almost happened to me, hasn't it?" and rolled her eyes. It took a moment for it to sink in before he looked away, blushing.
"Banshees!" James shouted, earning a loud shush from Madam Pomfrey, who was somewhere in the ward beyond the curtains which had been pulled around both of their beds. "Sorry Pops!" He yelled out.
"Hmm... I don't know much about them..."
"They scream, you die." Sirius said, putting it simply.
Bess smiled at him and said, "thanks. Uh, no. Mainly because if I heard a banshee I'll be dead, wouldn't I? No time to be scared is there? So definitely find rats scarier."
"What about giant black dogs?" James asked, grinning and winking at Sirius.
"One, or plural?" She asked, narrowing her eyes playfully.
James took the challenge, sitting forwards, putting his elbows on his knees. "One. And it's advancing on you, baring it's teeth."
"Hmm..." Bess said, pursing her lips, looking at the ceiling as if deep in thought. "Do I have a wand?"
"Would you be scared if you did have your wand?"
"Hmm, not really, because I could just stupefy it."
"Okay, then you don't have your wand in this scenario."
"Oh... still definitely rats." She said, nodding and popping her chocolate in her mouth.
"How? It's a giant dog! And it's got massive teeth! It could bite through your leg! Or slash you with its claws!" Peter squeaked.
Bess almost missed the glare Sirius sent Peter's way, since she had thrown her head back and laughed before looking at the smaller boy and saying, "yeah, but sounds more like that dog was being playful. If I don't have a wand on me then I can honestly just think of two things - one, I must trust it, right? Otherwise why would I be around it defenceless? And two, if I trust it, then surely I don't pose a threat to it, so it must be playing around, right?" She was very aware of who they were really talking about.
"Brilliant answer." James said, grinning and clapping Sirius on the shoulder.
"That's my girl!" Sirius said enthusiastically, beaming proudly.
He elbowed James and leant over to punch Peter lightly on the arm before putting his feet up on Remus' bed.
Bess rolled her eyes. "And three-" she continued.
"Love!" Sirius groaned loudly, throwing his head back.
"What?" She asked, snapping her head round to look at him.
"Just learn to count, please!"
"It's not my fault if I remember points as I go along!"
"Then don't say how many points you're going to make until you've already made them!" He said, putting a hand over his face.
"Sorry, does it annoy you?" She asked, cocking her head to the side.
"Yes." He replied, moving his hand to his hair and running his fingers through it.
"Good." she said, raising an eyebrow at him teasingly. "Two things, third point..."
He looked mildly impressed. "We'll talk about this later." He added, raising his own eyebrow, a small smile playing on his face.
Bess blushed.
She could feel her pain and upset dissipating as they played verbal tennis. She wasn't ready to forgive him by any stretch of the imagination, but she was enjoying his company immensely.
"Where was I?" She asked, looking up at the ceiling and narrowing her eyes in thought.
"Love!" Sirius groaned loudly again.
"Shhhh, you're making me lose my train of thought! What were we talking about?"
"I love this so much," she heard James whisper to Remus, who was trying not to laugh.
"Oh yeah! Three, if it really is a giant dog, and it genuinely wanted to eat me, then I'll probably be terrified in the moment, yeah, but still, I'm always scared of rats."
"Right. A stag." Peter asked, sitting up in his chair more. He seemed like he was trying to emulate James' casual stance but failing massively.
Bess raised an eyebrow. "A stag? As in a deer? Please!"
"They've got antlers!" James cried, suddenly defensive.
"Yeah, but when you're out walking and you come across a deer-"
"Stag." James cut across.
"Sorry, James, a stag. When you come across a stag, I don't think many people's first thoughts are 'oh shit, that's scary...'. And if a rabid stag did attack me, then it'd be a quick death." Bess said, before miming an antler spearing her stomach and then performing an elaborate and ridiculous fake death scene which had Remus laughing, James and Sirius clutching their stomachs, and Peter looking rather annoyed.
"What about werewolves then?" Peter asked rather loudly, cutting over the laughter.
The laughter stopped immediately. Bess saw Remus' eyes widen and his skin pale. Sirius and James looked angry and worried. Peter also paled. He'd seemed to have understood his mistake the instant he said the words, but couldn't take it back now.
Bess didn't ask more this time, she just looked at their reactions and coughed lightly. "I don't really..."
"I think you have to now..." James said quietly, glaring over at Peter. "I think we'd all like to hear your opinion..." He trailed off, cleared his throat, and slumped down in his chair.
Sirius, who was also now slumped in his chair and looked a little apprehensive, said, "it's okay, love. Go on."
"Fine. Look, I know people in the wizarding world have issues with-" she cut off and sighed. She didn't know how to put it when Remus was right there. "People who suffer from lycanthropy are no different to you and I unless they're faced with a full moon. And if I come across a werewolf at a full moon, then yes, I would be scared. Rats, however, are always rats."
Sirius, who had taken a swig of his drink while she spoke, spluttered rather unattractively. James laughed and clapped his hand on to Sirius' shoulder again, leaning in to whisper something to him. Remus sent her a small smile, and Peter looked rather put out.
"You're genuinely more scared of rats than werewolves?" Peter asked quietly.
"Why? Ugh- honestly, I don't really know how to explain it, but I guess I could say that there are people out there living with lycanthropy who try to live normal lives, and I have no right or want to be scared of them."
"You've thought about this a lot?" Remus asked, frowning and playing with the wrapper of the bar of chocolate which Peter had passed to him.
"Maybe... my Healer at the hospital was called Fenrose."
Remus' eyes widened and it confirmed for Bess what she'd suspected - he, at one point or another, had been treated by the older wizard.
She continued without pausing. "He's a kind man, and said that what he'd seen me recover from wasn't the worst thing he'd seen. Then I heard rumours in the Prophets about children around the country being bitten and I realised exactly what he meant. I can be scared and angry at the people biting kids on purpose, but how could I ever hate or be afraid of those kids or the adults they become? It's not their choice.
"I don't know though, I guess it's just all down to your interpretation. But yes, for me, it's all day, every day, more scared of rats than werewolves. Anything else?" She asked, reaching out a hand for the chocolate, which was now with Sirius.
She thought she'd said too much, but Sirius stood up, cupped her face and kissed her gently on the cheek. He rubbed his nose against hers, reminding her of when dogs touched snouts, and grinned at her before dropping his hands and retreating to his chair, saying, "well said, love."
Bess tried not to blush.
James echoed the sentiment with a "hear, hear," lifting his water glass in salute.
It felt like a pressure had been lifted from the conversation.
She whined and pointed again at the chocolate bar on Sirius' lap and he chuckled and handed it to her.
"A chocolate shortage or rats?." Whispered Remus with a shakily laugh.
"Replenishing spell, and if there was no chocolate left in the world... I'd still have sticky toffee pudding and cream..." She said, as she snapped off a piece of the bar.
"What about Sirius asking another girl out in front of you?" James asked, grinning from ear to ear.
Bess threw her head back and laughed. "If he does that then I've dodged a bullet."
"Noted." Sirius said, raising a finger in the air and sending her a cheeky smile and a wink.
"What about dying?" Peter asked.
"Rats." Bess replied immediately.
"Really? But really?" Peter asked, sitting forwards, clearly put out that Bess hated his animagus form this much.
"Yeah! Have you read 1984? No? Well read that, and then tell me rats are okay. Noooooo thank you!" She said, as she slumped back in to her stack of pillows and bit off some chocolate.
She was finding it easier than she thought she would to talk to Peter, having spent a few weeks sitting near him for classes and in the common room. She'd felt weird during their first few interactions, but now she just treated him as an acquaintance, whereas the others she counted as friends. She was, however, able to hide all of this, and if anyone had seen her chat to Peter, they would have thought they got along as well as two people could.
"You-Know-Who." He said quickly.
"Rats."
"What? No! You can't be serious! You're more scared of rats than You-Know-Who?"
Bess tried not to laugh, or roll her eyes, as she said "well honestly, Peter, I don't think I'm on his radar. So it's not like Voldemort's just going to swan in here and scamper around before having a bit of a nibble, is it? I think that fear would be the least of my worries if he turned up... But, hypothetically, if he did, then yes, I'd be more scared of him. Unless he walked in with an army of rats, when I would be more scared of the rats at first."
She saw Peter and Remus wince at her use of Voldemort's name, but was pleasantly surprised when James and Sirius barely reacted.
"A bit of a nibble!" James cried, falling to the floor laughing.
"I just- there are rats all over the school!" Peter said loudly, trying to speak over the roaring laughter coming from his three friends.
"Yes! Ones which are pets, or which have been conjured via magic. Feral rats are another thing! I just-" she shuddered and stuck her tongue out, miming being sick. "I don't understand why you're so annoyed!"
"Ol' Pete's just a little upset, he loves them." James said, still laughing.
She registered Peter pulling out his wand as she began to speak again.
"Well sorry Peter, but-" the laugh died in Bess' throat and her expression turned from happy to terrified. Her breathing elevated and her chest felt tight. She looked at the end of her bed, and gasped at the sight of something scuttling at the end of her bed.
Even if she'd wanted to stay in the bed and laugh, she couldn't stop her reaction - she immediately screamed and, despite her injuries, scrambled out of her covers, jumping straight on to Remus' bed, almost crushing Sirius in the process. She flew over Remus' legs, and jumped to the next bed along before turning and pointing at the rat which was still sitting on her bed, and saying "no, no, no, no, no."
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Madam Pomfrey roared, as she rounded the curtains and took in the scene in front of her.
"I don't want to be here! I want to go! Please!" She cried, staring at the older witch with horror in her eyes. "I can't sleep here!"
"What on earth?"
"Sorry Pops, bad joke on Peter's part," Sirius said, finally reaching Bess - he'd jumped up when she'd freaked, but hadn't managed to get to her before the matron had.
He sat on the bed and pulled her into his arms, rocking her slightly. "Merlin, love, you're shaking." He whispered into her hair - she was hugging him tightly and had her face buried in his chest.
Bess barely heard a word he said though, as she was genuinely panicking. In her world, rats really were one of her biggest fears, and as much as she'd managed to put that to the back of her mind, their chat and the appearance of a random rat, had freaked her and she was currently in the middle of a panic attack.
"We got this, Pops, really." She heard James say. The matron didn't seem to want to leave, but nodded nonetheless. Bess would later wonder how they'd gotten away with that one.
She heard a smack and a groan, and then Peter squeaked out a "I'm really sorry Bess."
It took ten minutes for her to calm down properly, and another thirty minutes of making the boys check every single nook and cranny of the ward before she would even entertain the idea of staying the night.
It was only Remus' reasoning that he was also staying, and her being allowed to move to the bed she'd jumped to, that made her feel okay enough about it, and the boys were made to leave a few minutes after that.
As he left, Sirius kissed her on the cheek, before staring deeply into her eyes. Under normal circumstances, if someone she knew had done that, she would have found it odd, but it was Sirius, so it was incredibly comforting and she didn't mind at all.
She realised then that something had shifted between them when he'd almost kissed her a few days ago, and it felt like she was the only thing standing in the way of them getting together. She just wasn't sure when she'd be ready for that yet.
After what felt like an age, he learned forwards and rubbed his nose against hers, before leaning back slightly and saying loudly, "I'll be back in the morning to make sure you haven't been bitten," earning a squeak from Bess, and a glare from Remus.
He simply laughed and, after kissing her cheek again, followed James out of the ward.
Even then, she knew she wouldn't be getting much sleep that night.
xXx
According to the clock above the door, it was now almost 3.30am.
Bess looked downwards, and watched as the door creaked open on its own. She frowned deeply and sat up, swinging her legs round and getting out of bed. Slowly, she tiptoed to the door and looked round it, into the deserted hallway.
"You're still awake?" She heard Remus ask in a whisper.
She looked around once more before closing the door quietly and tiptoeing back over to her bed, crawling under the covers.
"Sorry, did I disturb you?"
"No. Have you slept yet?"
Bess rubbed her face and shook her head, bringing her knees up and putting her magazine back in her lap.
"I really, really hate rats. And now I've actually seen one in here, I just have to wait until my mind decides it's calm enough for sleep." She whispered back. "You're still awake too..."
"It's different. I slept most of yesterday and woke up about ten minutes ago..." he said, frowning at her. "Peter really didn't mean any harm by it..."
"I know, don't worry. I feel bad that I don't like them. He seems... protective. I just... I just can't do it. They freak me out."
"What normally helps calm you down?" He asked kindly.
"I don't know. It used to be a long walk, but there's a curfew here... I've only ever been this panicky while at school once, and that was after everyone found out about..." She trailed off, putting her magazine aside and stretching out, looking at the ceiling.
"What helped then?" He asked.
Bess, who had heard what sounded like footsteps near Remus' bed, sat up again and looked around before frowning and lying back again.
"Honestly? It's sad really, as in embarrassing sad, not boo hoo sad, but uh- Sirius sent me a note. Once I'd written my reply, it flew away and waiting for it to come back helped me focus on something else and I fell asleep with his reply in my hand."
"Oh."
"Yeah... please don't tell him?" She asked quietly.
"Uh- I- uh-"
"Please, Remus, it's actually embarrassing." She asked, looking over at him.
Remus coughed and nodded, looking towards his curtains, which he had shoved to the side of his bed, to ask her why she was still awake. He began to fiddle with the top of his blankets.
"I'll uh- try." He replied finally.
"Thanks."
"So if he sent you a note, would that help?"
She smiled and chuckled. "I saw a rat and freaked out majorly. I think I've drawn a line under any interest he has in me!"
"I don't know about that..."
She gave Remus a look.
"I mean it!" He replied, again, looking towards his curtains. "It's quite refreshing that you're able to be around rats every day but they still terrify you. It's brave. And the stuff you said about werewolves and you-know-who... I think he found it endearing. And... well, you actually seem to like spending time with all four of us, not just Sirius."
"Or maybe I like spending time with you three and he's just a pain in the arse..." she said with a laugh before lying back to look at the ceiling again.
She was really enjoying getting to know all of them, and was quite chuffed Remus was actually talking to her outside of the group for the first time since The Three Broomsticks back in May.
Remus smiled and laid back in his bed as well.
Bess looked up sharply when she heard what sounded like whispers, but Remus didn't look like he could hear anything, so she just looked back at the ceiling.
"Do you- uh- since you're awake... do you... like him?"
Bess smiled awkwardly and looked over at Remus. "Come again?"
"Ugh. Don't make me-" He hissed, before raising his voice to say, "do you like Sirius?"
"Most of the time. But he can be a real turd. Why?"
She heard what sounded like a laugh which was cut off suddenly, but didn't see Remus even move. She frowned.
"No, I mean... do you think you'd say yes if he asked you out?" Remus asked.
Bess' eyes widened. "Do you really want to have this conversation? I haven't even talked to Lily about it!"
"See! It's private." He hissed so quietly that she barely heard what he said. He was silent for a moment before he winced and said in a louder voice, "unfortunately, yes."
Bess frowned and asked, "are you alright?"
He just nodded and pointed to a bandage on his arm. "Hurts a bit."
She nodded and answered, "uh- would I go out with him? After kiss-gate? No. Pre kiss-gate, yeah."
Bess heard a hissing noise before Remus winced again and said, "do you know if you'll want to go out with him again at some point?"
Bess, now thoroughly bemused, raised an eyebrow at Remus.
"Please just answer. It'll be easier for me if you do."
"What do you mean?"
"Uh... just my curiosity. Though you know what they say... curiosity killed the cat." He said, hissing the last words through his clenched teeth and looking towards his curtain.
Bess frowned at him, before she finally put two and two together and realised that he must have an terrible rib injury which was making him turn in pain. The full moon must have been rough, she thought.
When he turned back to her with a grimace, she replied.
"True, but the full thing is 'curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back'. Everyone forgets the second line."
She thought she heard a "exactly," but it was cut off, and Remus didn't seem to have moved. She was a little worried she was now hearing voices, so didn't say anything to him.
Instead, she added, "ugh... maybe... one day. But he broke my trust. If he'd just kissed someone else, that would be fine, you know? We weren't dating. But he did it to hurt me."
"He's really sorry about it..."
"Yeah. He's still got to work hard to build the trust again. If he gives up..." she shrugged.
She heard the hissing noise again before Remus said, "he won't. He can be very dedicated when he wants to be."
You have no idea, Bess thought, as she thought about his stint in Azkaban, and then what he did to get out and save Harry.
She heard another hiss, and this time decided to just not bother looking. She was just hearing things now.
"No." Remus hissed quietly. "I've asked enough. No fucking way. Fu-" before he winced again and groaned, before turning to her and asking, "is it okay with you that he kisses you on the cheek?"
Bess, who had closed her eyes, opened them and looked out the corner of her eye at Remus. She raised and eyebrow. "I'm not talking to you about that."
He paused for a second, before asking "please?"
"No, Remus. No. Next question." She answered, eyes wide as she shook her head at him.
She really didn't mind that Sirius did, in fact, she felt more at home in this world when he did, than she had felt in the past months. She hadn't realised how much she'd missed physical contact, and each time he'd kissed her like that today, she'd felt seen. Of course, there was no way she'd ever tell Remus that!
"Okay... just... you should know that he likes you a lot. You've spent five weeks-"
"Three..." she cut over him. "Sorry... just... we've only really spent three weeks actually chatting etcetera. Two of the weeks we weren't talking!"
"True... but... uh... Sirius is an all or nothing kind of guy-"
She snorted and said "tell that to Beatrice Jones!" She heard Remus wince again and frowned. "Are you sure you're okay?" She asked softly.
"Yes, yeah." He said, before glaring at his curtains again. She heard the hissing again and then he spoke again, "uh- I didn't know you knew about Beatrice..."
"The girls told me after Peter made me move that breakfast time. Pretty harsh to break up with her like that. All she did was sit at your table..."
Remus was silent for a moment, before he said quietly "that was... a hard one... she... look, I can't explain it properly, but it wasn't just about the table thing. It was more than that... yeah..." he trailed off, before wincing again and saying, "anyway, back to you. Long story short, when you're ready, just let him know. I'm one hundred per cent sure he'll wait. If you want him to...?"
Bess didn't answer, she was frowning at the ceiling.
"Bess? Do you... do you want him to wait, or...?"
She took a deep breath. Did she? She needed to spend time working on bringing down Voldemort, and this was just a distraction. A lovely one, but a distraction nonetheless. And what if she took his time away from his friends and then she went back to her world before changing things?
"I'll take that as a no then." Remus said quietly.
"No, no, I- yes, I- I do want him to. But... is that fair? Taking his time away from you guys and then saying I don't know when the trust will be rebuilt enough to..." She trailed off. She felt weird talking to Remus about all of this, but also very comfortable.
"Oh! Uh- uh- one second." Remus said, quickly. Bess looked over, and saw him leaning over his bed, as if listening to something next to him. He laid back after a moment and said, "sorry, felt a bit sick... I'm sure he'd be fine with that." He said with a small smile. "Not many people think about those kinds of things."
"Taking up your time?"
"Yeah..."
"You four are incredibly close. When, sorry, if Lily and James get together eventually it might change a little bit, but I don't want to take away from your time together. There's a war going on."
They fell into silence for a few minutes.
"You think about the war a lot, don't you?" He asked, breaking the silence.
"Hard not to."
"I think you and Sirius are similar..."
"What? I'm a hot headed teenage boy?" She laughed.
Remus let out a loud guffaw and Bess didn't know why, but she kept laughing, before snorting loudly. Eyes wide, she covered her mouth with her hand and tried to stop laughing.
"Did you just snort?"
She couldn't stop laughing, and snorted again. Remus joined in after a second, mocking her.
They laughed for a minute before falling silent again.
"Why're you telling me all this about Sirius?" She whispered.
"I don't know really... I guess I know he'd want you to know..." He said, before grimacing. After a long pause, he relaxed and as if by magic, a large piece of chocolate appeared out of nowhere and landed on his chest. "Thanks." He muttered under his breath.
"He hasn't seen my scars yet though... I'm sure he'd change his mind if he did."
"Uh-" Remus replied, shifting slightly in his bed.
"Remus..." Bess asked, sitting up fully and swinging her legs round so she sat on the edge of her bed, staring at him. "He hasn't seen my scars, has he?"
"Well... we might have all seen one of them..." He said, fiddling with the blanket again.
"Which one?" She asked, eyes wide.
"The one down your arm?"
"Which arm?" She hissed in reply.
"Your right one. Do you have one on your left too?" He asked, sitting up and narrowing his eyes and furrowing his brow.
Bess gasped out a sigh of relief and rolled back, falling against her pillows. After a second, she said, "yes I do... Lily's seen it, I showed... I showed it to her after Jasper... but I'm not ready for anyone else to yet..."
She made sure to mention Lily, just in case he thought it was a dark mark or anything silly like that.
"It must be bad then." Remus said quietly. She turned to look at him and he continued "you- you know, if you're okay with us seeing the other one. It looked like someone..."
"I'm uh- going to try to sleep now," she said, slipping back under her covers and bringing them up to her neck, wriggling in to the warmth.
"Don't want to talk to me anymore?" Remus asked quietly.
"No, I just don't want to talk about Sirius and my feelings anymore!" She laughed, trying to gloss over her worry about her scars. "Though it's really nice talking to you, Remus. Definitely calmed me down. You're a really great friend."
"Thanks. I try."
"No, that's the thing. I have a strong feeling it comes completely naturally to you. You have a lovely heart." She said, smiling at him, before closing her eyes.
Her view of him was definitely skewed by what she knew of Remus from the books, but she still meant every word.
As she thought about what Remus had said about Sirius, she felt like someone was watching her, but when opened her eyes sleepily and she looked around for a moment, there was no one in the ward apart from the boy lying in the hospital bed next to hers.
Finally, she drifted off with a small smile on her face.
She could have sworn she felt someone kiss her forehead as she succumbed to a deep sleep, but knew she must have been dreaming already.
xXx
Sorry this is going up much later than usual - kept getting an error message for hours!
So, an extra long chapter - over 7500 words! But I didn't want to cut anything out. Hope it's okay! It might be a few days wait for the next one! But I'm hoping to have something for you by Saturday evening!
I love Remus... can you tell?
Bess just can't seem to catch a break, but she will at some point, promise! She's still only at the 9th of October, even though it feels like she's been at school for ages now and she has a lot to do!
Thank you so much to Lavendor Queen, Pewz, usernnammme - (hope you feel better soon! Tonight I'll be typing furiously to get another chapter to you tomorrow!), idreamtosmilealways and Guest - (I have such a soft spot for him! He's not going to learn everything overnight, but he's trying! Next chapter will delve in to the DADA lessons, don't worry!), Haaaftsfas and CharlotteGryffindor.