CHAPTER 18

Do You Want To?

It took the normal 20 minutes to walk to the Stilinski home, and just as she always did, she let herself in and walked up to Stiles' bedroom. It always amazed her how ADHD he really was, it wasn't even just within him, it was painted on his walls. Not literally, but all four walls were painted a different shade of blue or green and the molding on the door and against the walls even different from that. Like he couldn't decide on a color so he just decided to do everything.

"Oblivion?" Mars made herself known, commenting on the video game he was way too into. "You do know that that's a single player?"

"Yes." He mumbled. "One sec, I'm in the arena." Mars sat down beside him and took the controller out of his hand, seeing as he had probably been playing since he got home from school to avoid thinking about the group date.

"And now I am." Mars smirked. "Why the fuck are you not using fire damage and longsword?" She paused and switched his settings, she kicked the opponent's ass in a matter of seconds. "See."

"Yeah, yeah." He snatched back the controller. "Why weren't you and Aje at school today?"

"Didn't feel like going." Mars lied, Stiles accepted- his dad hadn't told him anything.

"Okay." Stiles tapped his thumb on the controller's side. "Lydia is on that date."

"Why do you say 'Lydia' instead of Scott? He is your best friend." Mars pointed out, again being reminded she had to set him up on that damn date that Lydia would never agree to.

"Yeah, but I love Lydia." Mars didn't even suppress her groan and eye roll. "What? I do."

"No, Stiles, you can't love someone you've talked to five times in your life. You think she's hot, you don't love her." Any time he'd cried being bitten by the love bug, she reminded him of that. Yes, he liked her, and that was valid. But he was mistaking it for love because he felt everything deeply, also, he'd never been in mutual love and he didn't know what that was supposed feel like.

She didn't want to belittle his feelings, but when he got like this? It really just ticked her off.

"What do you know." Stiles huffed.

"A lot more than you."

Stiles changed the subject back; "What's she see in Jackson anyways?"

"Maybe he has a big dick." Mars smirked, always knowing how to get under his skin.

"Who says mine's not… yanno… adequate." Stiles mumbled.

"I've seen you naked like a hundred times now, Stiles." Mars raised an eyebrow, intentionally making him uncomfortable.

"W-what are you saying?" He stuttered. Cause she had seen him naked before. Many times. Was he seriously that unappealing?

"Nothing Stiles." Mars smirked, looking at his walls again. It never ceased to amaze her.

"Are you- are you saying I'm small?" Stiles subconsciously covered his groin, he knew she had some sort of opinion- it was just a matter of getting it out of her.

"I said nothing" Mars stood by her original intentions of making him squirm.

"Do you- do you think-" He wasn't really sure what he wanted to ask, so he left the space open for her to fill it with something.

"I've never seen it up, which is what matters, so I can't say." Mars replied, he wanted to mention class yesterday, when he knew she felt something, but he also had another question;

"Do you want to, um,-" He was very, very, thankful she cut him off. Why couldn't he just filter himself?

"No."

"Okay." They fell in what was to Stiles an awkward silence, Mars on the other hand was just satisfied with herself. "Mars, I've been wanting to talk to you about something…"

"Oh no… Stiles, you don't seriously want to-"

"What?" His eyes widened, realizing that stating he wanted to talk after asking if she wanted to see it up maybe didn't make for the greatest timing. "Nope. Not where I was going with that."

"Where were you going then?"

"What's been going on with you, Mars?" He scratched the back of his neck.

"What do you mean, what's up with me?" Mars perked up, anxiety etched on her face. This was it, he knew about the blackouts, he knew something was wrong. He knew, he knew, he knew. She felt sick, like she was ready to cry and just blurt her every thought out.

Before she could say anything, Stiles spoke; "I'm just worried about you."

"Why?"

He inhaled, Mars could see the debate raging in his eyes over what he'd say next. "I saw you in the bathroom with Don. At the party the other night."

Mars cringed, "I'm sorry. We were safe, if it helps?"

Stiles knew she misunderstood, and he also knew now he didn't want to know everything that went down in the small bathroom. "No. Not that." He looked her in the eye, hoping she wouldn't make him say it, because he didn't know if he could.

"Oh, you mean the coke." Stiles' jaw dropped, she was so brazen, so nonchalant. "I appreciate the concern, really. I do. It's nothing you have to worry about. I was just testing it out, turns out I am not a fan." She wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up to him.

"And in the woods the other day? When you couldn't get your shirt? What was that then?" He challenged her.

"Stiles." She sighed, "Everyone experiments. Honest, you don't have to worry."

"Okay." He agreed. It was what he wanted to hear, what he needed to hear.

He tucked the hair on both sides behind her ears. He needed a good, unobscured look at her face. Those big, cold blue eyes. They would never let her lie to him.

This time though, they did.

"Can you, I don't know, see him less?"

"Who, Don?"

Stiles nodded. "He makes me nervous." There was something in him she couldn't quite place when he spoke about Don. It made her uncomfortable.

"I think that's over anyways." She assured him.

She was unsure of when he'd leaned in, or maybe it had been her doing. She couldn't be sure. But now they were so close their noses touched, and she felt his hand upon her waist.

"Do you promise?" Stiles' voice was nearly a whisper, Mars had a vision of herself closing the minuscule gap between them. She shook it off. She had to. She couldn't control the swell in her chest at the idea. What was wrong with her? This was the second time in the space of 2 days she had these foreign urges. Mars swallowed hard.

"I have to go."

And so she did what she does best, she ran away.