One of these things that make the living think about their position. (Richard POV)

(This is the longest chapter yet. And this is going to hurt.)

Richard woke up later than usual, after a few dreams about him and Arthur being alone and clotheless near the river. He woke up coughing, not thanking his imagination for making things more complicated than they should be.

Soon after, Susan gave him a letter, and he thanked her. He recognized the envelope he already saw twice : miss King. She was asking him to meet his associate again in the Strawberry train station. He recognized the man, this time, and yet, he waved at Richard again. His hat was not as big as the last time.

"Good morning, mister Washington", the man greeted him.

"Morning uh… How should I call you?"

"Nothing. I am of no importance", the man said, without looking at Richard. "What matters is miss King has another assignment for you."

"Already? I haven't found the last O'Driscolls yet."

"That we know. We also know one of your acquaintances, Sadie Adler, is looking for them as well. If she helps you, miss King supposed you were up to another task."

"I didn't know about Sadie", Richard admitted. "But yeah. I could use the exercice."

The man quickly turned towards him, giving him an envelope. Richard looked at the guy, but he turned away too fast for Richard to clearly see his face. He opened the envelope, with a hundred dollars in it.

"This is your advance for your next job: killing Pinkerton employees Andrew Milton and Edgar Ross, and their subordonates if necessary. Miss King heard they were around, lately. She wants them dead."

"How much?" Richard asked.

"Two hundred for each, and a bonus of fourty dollars for each Pinkerton employee you kill with them", the man explained.

Richard nodded, and put the envelope in his jacket. For some reason, he really was curious about his employer's associate now. But the man didn't betray anything. There was only one thing Richard was sure about: the associate didn't look very old. He could tell by the absence of facial hair on his jaw and chin, and something in his way of talking and waving at Richard was very youthful. It made him wonder what this miss King looked like, to employ a kid.

"Is this good for you?" the man asked, turning towards Richard again.

"Yes. Yes it is."

"Perfect. Have a good day, mister Washington."

The man stood up and went towards the exit, waving at Richard again. When Richard called him back, the man stopped, and Richard walked right towards him, stopping pretty close.

"Why don't you want to tell me your name?" Richard asked.

The man looked at him in the eyes, his expression puzzled. Richard frowned.

"Like I said, it is not important", the young – definitely young – man said.

"It is to me", Richard improvised. "Or even a nickname, so I know how to call you."

"Fine, if you insist", the young man sighed. "My name is Isaac. You will not know more."

Richard nodded, and Isaac tipped his hat to him, wishing him a good day once more. Richard looked at him while he was leaving, with a nagging feeling of familiarity. Though he couldn't put his finger on it.

After that, Richard went to buy more wool at the store, and then rode back to camp. He went straight to his tent, where Arthur as waiting for him. He had a little smile whe he saw Richard come in. Richard tried not to smile back. And failed.

"Mornin' Rick", Arthur greeted him.

"Morning Arthur", Richard answered. "What can I do for you?"

"A lot of things", Arthur said, standing. "But one will do for now."

"What would that be?", Richard asked, raising a brow.

Arthur didn't answered, and just jumped toward Richard to hold him and kiss him. Richard was surprised, but this was not a bad surprise. He kissed Arthur back as best as he could, and when Arthur parted first, he cleared his throat.

"Sorry about that", he said, seeming only partly sorry.

"No problem. So you good?"

"Yeah. Better now."

Richard felt himself blush a little bit. He didn't expect Arthur to be such a sack of sap so fast, and he could see in Arthur's expression that he wasn't expecting it either.

"Where you been?" Arthur asked.

"Went to see my employer again. She wants me to kill some Pinkertons now."

"Yeah?" Arthur said, surprised. "Strange. Why?"

"I didn't ask any questions, to be honest", Richard noted. "I'm just doing my job."

"I know, I know", Arthur said, raising his hands. "And what's your plan for today?"

"I don't know yet. I'm opened to all suggestions."

Arthur seemed to think that through, as Richard was about to sit on his chair. And when Arthur opened his mouth to say something, he was interrupted by Tilly, who entered the tent, as if she was in a rush.

"Morning you two", she greeted them. "Rick, I need you now", she added.

"Sure, Tilly, what's going on?" Richard asked.

Instead of answering, Tilly came to him and took his hand, forcing him to stand up. He didn't resist, and let her lead him outside the tent, apologizing to Arthur quickly as he passed by him. Further in the camp, Tilly led him to a table, where Mary-Beth, Abigail, Karen, Molly and Sadie were already sitting. Tilly sat as well, and invited Richard to sit next to her, as everyone was greeting him.

"Morning ladies", he said with a little smile. "What is it about?"

"Rick, hi", Karen answered first. "You have the privilege to be invited on our gossip reunion today, because we thought the subject at hand would interest you."

"Oh yeah? What would that be?" Richard asked, curious as ever.

"Men, of course", Tilly said, smirking.

"And we know for sure you interested in that matter", Mary-Beth added.

Richard raised a brow, all the girls – except Sadie – looking at him. He wasn't exactly hiding it, but he didn't know he was being that obvious. He knew he couldn' just deny it.

"Well I won't argue with that", Richard chuckled. "So how's it gonna be?"

Abigail explained the little game she and Karen thought about. Each one of the attendant of the reunion – Richard laughed at the term – would choose a man of the camp, and ask what the others are thinking about him. Both physically and psychologically. There is some kind of vote, and of course, honesty is wanted. Richard nodded at that. Nobody said anything when Karen noted that some people's choice would be obvious.

Richard thought about Arthur, and Abigail looked at him with a little smile. Did she just read his mind or what?

Abigail was the first to choose. Of course, she wanted to know what the other girls thought about John. And Richard could see on the others' faces that they were not surprised one bit either. Richard said he was kind of hot, and Abigail giggled hearing that. Tilly added that the scars gave him some kind of gruff charm. Mary-Beth and Karen agreed. The debate was over when Karen asked Abigail what kind of lover John was in bed, and Abigail didn't answer, boiling.

Karen asked about Sean. Richard raised a brow, and Tilly explained to him that there has been some kind of affaire between Karen and him at some point. She, Karen and Mary-Beth agreed on the fact that he was a little annoying, but a little cute too. Molly added, with her own sense of humor, that he was giving Irish people a bad name. Richard had only a little interactions with him, but he decided he was with the girls this time.

Mary-Beth, surprisingly, asked about Kieran. Richard frowned. He knew that Kieran liked Mary-Beth, a lot, but could this question mean Mary-Beth liked him too? Still, Richard said what he already told Arthur: he's cute, but he's just a friend. Abigail and Tilly both said he was real nice, and agreed that his shyness was pretty cute. Molly noted that he talked to her sometimes, when he was too afraid to talk to Dutch, and thought it was pretty sweet. Karen laughed, but didn't contradict what was being said. And Sadie, talking for the first time of the "game", added that he was pretty decent with the horses too. And anyone who liked animals like he did couldn't be bad at heart. Richard nodded. He heard that before too.

Molly asked the council about Dutch. Once again, all the girls were saying pretty much the same: they trusted him, to different degrees. Even though Abigail had some disagreements with him sometimes, related to Jack. But either way, he was the moral compass of the gang. Richard didn't know Dutch that well, but he did inspire trust, in some weird way. Richard also said that he didn't like the way Dutch paternized him, making the girls laugh. He almost heard Karen say something like "poor kid".

Richard's turn arrived, and he asked about Charles. He saw Abigail frowning, and he winked at her. She rolled her eyes, and said her opinion first. Charles was probably the best man in the camp, in terms of personality and morality. Richard agreed on that, saying how much he liked his big bear body, and mentioned their hug. Tilly laughed, saying that Charles was indeed the kind of person you just want to hug. Mary-Beth nodded. Karen asked, with the same tone she questioned Abigail earlier, if things went further between Charles and Richard. He answered he wouldn't be against it, but Charles is, so it will not happen. Karen had an exasperated sigh, which made Richard chuckle.

Sadie, who apparently refused to participate the game at the start, asked about Arthur. Richard frowned. Sadie explained that she had an intersting time with him, a few days earlier. She thought she understood him in a few minutes, despite his efforts to seem all rough and tough. Abigail agreed on that, asserting she was probably the one who knew him best around here. Tilly said she liked him a lot, and Mary-Beth added that his taste for art made him even cuter. He was being real good at it too. Then, all girls looked at Richard. He saw them like a bunch of crows looking at a corpse. He just said he liked him, even though he's a pain in his ass. Only him seemed to understand the sexual innuendo he just made, because nobody added anything.

Tilly asked about Lenny. Karen said he was real smart for a kid his age, and everyone agreed. Richard did already see him read really serious books, and seemed to like it a lot. Tilly thought he was adorable, too. And a gentleman. She saw him more than once be gentler to girls. Agibail, coming out of nowhere, added some gossip: she heard him and Arthur talk about Sean. Karen raised both her brows, and Richard did the same. From what she gathered, Lenny told Arthur he liked Sean, and Arthur encouraged him to tell him. A few days ago, before Sean invited him to go out somewhere. Richard whistled, and Abigail looked at him. She eyed him in a strange fashion, but said nothing.

"Well, ladies – and mister", Karen solemnly said. "I'm afraid this is the end of our reunion. I can see Grimshaw over there, let's just go back to work before she-"

Tilly and Mary-Beth were already gone before Karen ended her sentence, and Molly left as well. Karen waved at Richard and left right after. There were only him, Abigail and Sadie at the table now. Sadie seemed to be lost in her thoughts, like most of the times.

"What's the matter?" Richard asked Abigail.

"I didn't say everything, about this Lenny and Arthur conversation I heard", Abigail answered. "They mentioned you as well."

"Oh? How's that?"

"When Arthur asked why Lenny didn't tell Sean anything about his feelings, he answered 'for the same reason you don't tell Rick'. I think even Lenny suspects something at this point."

Richard hummed, making a little pout. He didn't really know what to answer to that. But overall, he wondered what Lenny meant by that. The reason why Arthur didn't say he liked him. Well, now he did tell him, but what about before?

"Rick? How far are you now?"

Richard looked at Abigail, who was looking at him with a little smile, and he smiled at her too.

"I'm right here, Abby", he answered. "By the way, which colors do you want for your poncho? Now that Jack's almost good enough to make you one?"

"Really?"

"He's a very good student."

"Oh well. Let's say white, green and blue."

"Fine. I'll talk to my assistants, now", Richard chuckled.

"Okay. See you later."

Richard left the table and went to the Marston's tent, where he found Jack reading a book to a very attentive John.

"Morning boys", Richard greeted them. "I have a mission for you."

"Morning uncle Rick", Jack answered, eyes on his book.

"Mornin' Rich. What's this mission you talkin' about?" John asked, curious.

"Abigail wants a white, green and blue poncho. You up for the challenge?"

Jack looked at Richard, then at John. The kid nodded, smiling, he was up to the challenge. John wasn't, but he swore to do his best. He was not doing as good as Jack, indeed, but he was good enough. Richard told him, and he took the compliment, a little embarrassed. He seemed to take it better from Jack. Richard gave them the wool and the needles, and Jack began right away.

Richard went back to his tent, and began knitting as well. The weather was getting colder, so he thought making gloves was a good idea. At some point, when he almost finished doing one glove, Arthur came back at the tent, and sat right next to him.

"Welcome back", Richard said, without looking at him.

"Hey", Arthur simply said. "You never stop workin', do you?"

"Rarely", Richard explained. "I have to keep my mind busy to not think about stuff I don't want to think about."

"Oh. Fair enough."

Richard looked at Arthur, who was looking at his fingers. But feeling Richard was looking at him, he looked at Richard too. He still thought Arthur had probably the prettiest eyes he's ever seen. He always had a thing for green eyes, and those were rare. But another realization hit him. And it hit him hard.

He has seen these eyes before.

"What's on your mind?" Arthur asked, before Richard said anything.

"I told you about that guy I see when I work, right?"

"The one I saw last week, who gave you money?" Arthur remembered. "What about him?"

"I saw him better today. You have the same eyes."

Arthur frowned, looking at Richard deep in the eyes. As if he thought he was joking. But Richard was not. Arthur's expression became puzzled, a little lost even. Then it was replaced by some kind of fear Richard didn't understand.

"You… You know what is name is?" Arthur asked, as if he feared the answer. "And how old he is?"

"I don't know", Richard frowned. "He seemed a little younger than Lenny. Maybe sixteen, or seventeen. And he said his name was Isaac."

Arthur widened his eyes, and his breath was short, all of the sudden. His expression was sad, sadder than Richard could ever expect Arthur's expression to be. He put down his needles and gently put his hand on Arthur's cheek.

"Arthur? What's going on?" Richard asked, carefully.

"It's not… It's not possible", Arthur stuttered. "He can't be…"

"What? Who's that guy? You know him?"

Arthur put his hand on Richard's, and he thought he could see tears in Arthur's eyes.

"Isaac… Isaac was my son's name", Arthur said. "And he… He would be sixteen if he…"

Richard heard Arthur choke on his sentence, and on his own saliva. His tone made Richard's heart break, and couldn't help but to hold him. Arthur hugged him back, breathing hard in Richard's shoulder.

"Goddamnit", Arthur said, sounding mad. "How's that possible?"

"You did say your first wife and your son died", Richard remembered. "How did that happened?"

"Last time I visited them, I found the house empty, blood everywhere and two tombs in front of the house", Arthur explained. "Folk told me they was dead. I… I didn't try to learn more. If I knew-"

"Hey", Richard interrupted him, gently. "It's not your fault, Arthur. You couldn't know."

"Shit. Yeah you're right", Arthur sniffed. "Still, I can't believe this. This is too big for bein' a coincidence. I wish I could know more."

"I can't promise you that, but I promise I'll try."

"Thank you."

Arthur offered a little sad smile to Richard, and Richard put his head on Arthur's shoulder. He took Arthur's hand, sliding his own fingers between Arthur's. Arthur's breath became more regular, after a minute. Richard had a hard time imagining that just his contact managed to calm down Arthur.

You really do like me don't you?

Richard said that the previous day, when Arthur said he trusted him. He said that almost in a joke fashion, but right here, right now, Richard realized how much Arthur must like him. And he felt his cheeks getting hot, as he looked at Arthur's hand squeezing his.

"Arthur."

Arthur looked at Richard, eyes a little puffy, but he tried his best not to betray any emotion.

"There's something I need you to know, but I'm not sure this is the right time."

"Tell me", Arthur decided. "Anythin' to make me think about somethin' else."

Richard, still holding Arthur's right hand with his left hand, put his own right hand on Arthur's left cheek. Arthur looked at him, confused.

"Yesterday you asked how things are gonna play out between us. So I'm going to answer. The truth is… I'm pretty sure I'm kinda sorta in love with you, cowboy."

Arthur blinked, in an exaggerated fashion, seemingly having a hard time to believe what he just heard. But he ended up sighing, and smiling at the same time. He squeezed Richard hand.

"Well I think I love ya too", Arthur said timidly. "That great news?"

"It is. But that's not my point."

Arthur raised a brow. Taking back his two hands, Richard took the photo in his inner pocket, and showed it to Arthur. He was looking at it, trying to understand what Richard was trying to say. Until Richard did tell him.

"Arthur, this is Nick", Richard introduced them. "My former lover."

"Oh. Shit", Arthur said.

"Yeah", Richard said, putting back his photo in his pocket. "He was basically your perfect opposite, but still."

"How's that?" Arthur asked, raising a brow.

"He was kind. Very bad at drawing. Very good at flirting and teasing, and making me laugh with his stupid jokes. Refused to hurt anyone. Just pure sweetness. He was sweeter than Charles, can you imagine?" Richard chuckled.

"I can't. I'm forced to call bullshit on that", Arthur snorted too.

"I know right? But it's true, I'm sorry."

They both laughed a little at that, and Arthur looked a little more at his namesake. Richard wondered what else Arthur was thinking, but once again, Arthur surprised him.

"He has a pretty smile. I swear you've got the same sometimes."

"I do?" Richard asked, surprised.

"Yeah. Do you… Can you tell me what happened?"

Richard pouted, and Arthur took his hand again, his expression full of compassion. Richard sighed, and put back the photo inside his smoking suit. He owed Arthur that much, after all the mess he provoked with Isaac.

"Simple, like your family. He knew who I was and what I was doing, and he ended up being involved. A target of mine learned his existence, and threatened him. I accepted to leave him alone, and he killed Nick anyways."

"Fuck. What an asshole", Arthur said. "I'm so sorry Rich."

"Not as much as I am. But still, I forced him to watch as I killed every person he loved, and then, I stabbed him in the back."

"He dead?"

"No. But he's incapable of walking. He's living with his deeds, and his failures."

Arthur widened his eyes, clearly shocked. For a moment, Richard thought he said too much, or with too much of his sadistic tone. But Arthur didn't say anything. He just continued squeezing Richard's hand, with a sad expression.

"Dutch says revenge's a fool's errand", Arthur quoted.

"Does he know about loss, to say something like that?"

"He does. Colm killed Annabelle, Dutch's wife", Arthur said, grimly. "I was like twenty."

"Wow. Shit. I couldn't have guessed."

"Of course you couldn't", Arthur said. "He always was so strong, for everyone of us. But trust me when I tell you he hates Colm probably more than anyone."

"I can imagine."

Arthur didn't add anything, and Richard put his head on Arthur's shoulder. Arthur didn't react right away, but, still holding Richard's hand, he put his head on top of Richard's. Right after he kissed him on the temple. Richard had a little smile Arthur probably couldn't see.

"How old are you?" Arthur suddenly asked.

"What? Are you seriously asking me that, Arthur?" Richard laughed.

"Well yeah", Arthur said, sheepishly. "This rude?"

"No, it's fine. I just thought you'd never ask. I'm thirty-one."

"Holy shit. You look damn younger. I feel older than thirty-five, to be honest", Arthur admitted with a fake laugh.

"Yeah, but you're still hot", Richard said, huddling against Arthur. "And comfortable."

"Glad you like it", Arthur said, holding Richard tighter.

"Glad I like you", Richard corrected, smiling.

Richard stepped back a little to look at Arthur. He was smiling as well. Richard kissed him on the lips, and left Arthur's tent, promising to see him again after the dinner.

But as Richard was entering his tent, someone knocked him out.

I almost hesitate to put this story the "hurt and comfort" tag now x)