We've made it to canon. From now on, you might recognize the occasional line.
I want the story well-rounded, so to say, but I also don't want to simply rehash what we already know. I hope I'll strike the right balance, and that you'll enjoy the different perspective!
Chapter 9: Revelations
It was, indeed, a painfully awkward day, and Nora inwardly cursed Hange and her own hot-headedness. Most, she cursed her inability to control her mind and body. How Nora hated things out of her control! And how especially frustrating if the thing she couldn't control concerned herself.
Despite threatening to the day before, Levi did not order her to hand-to-hand practice. If not for that, he would not have let on anything about the uncomfortable confrontation earlier at breakfast. Hange had to be wrong about him. No way could he be "ogling" her, and want her even. It was impossible to imagine her cagey captain reciprocating any of the complex, decidedly non-platonic feelings she had about him, and she did not want to make the mistake of wishful thinking. It had only ever brought her pain. Moreover, she shouldn't wish for things like that in the first place. There was no room for it in the life she led.
Most importantly, Nora found nothing about Levi's behaviour towards her indicating any sort of physical attraction. Yes, she wasn't good at reading people, and sure, Levi was treating her differently—though not exactly better—compared to the rest of his squad, but she had always assumed it was due to the lack of respectfulness in her own forthright manner combined with a certain disregard of hierarchy they both shared.
She sat with her squad at lunch and dinner. Obvious reason aside, Nora was still a bit cross with Hange. She felt incredibly exposed, even though she hadn't admitted to anything.
Petra kept throwing her thoughtful glances, her easy smile nowhere to be seen. She didn't understand why; with enormous restraint, Nora managed to ignore their captain—who sat at his usual spot at Hange's table, the nerve he had—throughout both meals.
#
It was unusually quiet in their bedroom this evening. Normally, Petra was rather chatty at this time. After a fair share of awkward glances from the redhead, Nora finally put down the book she was trying to read, sighing.
"What's wrong, Petra?"
The younger woman looked caught, turning her gaze down. "Oh, it's nothing, really… Nothing that would concern me, anyway. But I've just been wondering for a while now, and since we're friends and all…"
"Spit it out," Nora said.
In one breath, Petra asked, "Is there something… going on between you and Captain Levi?"
Even though part of her had expected this, Nora still struggled to maintain a neutral expression.
"Why would you think that?"
"A few reasons," Petra said evasively, a faint flush appearing on her cheeks, "just the way you two are interacting with each other…"
"Okay, I'll just say right away that I'm not, and never have been… involved with him, to set the record straight." Nora frowned when her squad mate's expression didn't soften. "But I'm still not sure what could give you the impression? I mean, we're arguing pretty often, and he certainly doesn't—"
Petra interrupted her. "I just noticed how sometimes, you and the captain happen to be standing, or sitting, pretty close to each other."
Lifting her eyes back to Nora's, Petra looked at her when she continued, her expression kind and open again, but too serious. "More importantly, I've seen the way you look at each other."
The silence that followed was deafening to Nora's ears, her face burning. With a sinking feeling in her chest, she thought how Levi would react to this, how quickly—and bluntly—he would shut down Petra's false assumptions.
No matter how badly she wanted to, Nora could not deny the nature of the glances she might steal at him, however one-sided it might be, though she had hoped no one besides Hange had noticed. She supposed she should have expected it; Petra certainly paid an unusual amount of attention to their captain.
If her comrade was so forward on this issue, Nora was allowed to be, as well, she guessed. "Petra, since this seems to… kind of bother you, I'll just ask… Are you in love with Levi?"
At last, Petra smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes. "I've devoted my life to the cause… And to my captain."
Letting out a nervous chuckle, Nora said, "Damn, you've been spending too much time around me. You always say I am the one giving truthful, yet elusive answers."
Petra giggled, the warmth returning to her eyes. "I learned from the best, I guess. You're exactly like Levi, in that regard! Painfully honest, blunt even, and at the same time, most people don't know anything about you."
With an abashed grin, Nora lifted her hands in defeat. "I'm just… not good with people."
Petra laughed outright. "No, you're not." Sobering slightly, she added, "I'll admit that much, though: the looks he's giving you, how he's watching you all the time… It does make me a bit jealous, sometimes."
Nora shook her head, flustered. "I—I really don't know what you're talking about. I'm sure he does nothing of the sort, and certainly not 'all the time'—"
"So you haven't noticed at all, then," Petra said, the playfulness back in her voice, "You're really almost as bad with people as him."
"That's quite a crass statement, you know. Enough insults for today," Nora said, and the two women laughed together.
Later, when they were already in bed, surrounded by darkness, Nora whispered, "Petra?"
"Yeah?"
"I'll admit something, too: I won't deny that Levi is… kind of hot."
A soft snicker came from the opposite wall, where Petra's bed stood. "Yep, he is."
#
I've been watching you two ogling each other—
He's watching you all the time—
Nora's thoughts were racing. She was a soldier; a few days from now, they'd go on a life-threatening expedition again. She shouldn't even concern herself with trivial matters like that.
And yet, maybe that was part of what it meant to be living, instead of just surviving. Friends, fun, goals and visions, passion, desire, wanting things. Wanting someone. Having a lot to lose—again.
It was terrifying.
She wouldn't get much sleep this night.
#
The day was cheerful and sunny, the early spring air comfortably warming Nora under her green cloak. Quite a crowd had gathered to watch the Scout Regiment travel through the town of Trost, about to leave the gates of the Wall behind them.
Using the remaining time before they had to get in formation, Nora and Hange were riding side by side, chatting away those last, peaceful minutes left before the imminent danger and death that was unequivocally waiting for them. The sound of Levi's name coming from an enthusiastic, youngish voice somewhere in the crowd drew their attention.
"…strongest soldier alive! I hear that in battle, he's as strong as an entire brigade!"
Stronger, Nora thought, only sparing the three admiring teenagers a cursory glance before it landed on her captain to Hange's left. Judging by the face he made, he had heard.
"Spare me, please," Levi grumbled, "Noisy brats."
"Aw, don't look so grumpy in front of your fans!" Hange teased. "Though, if they knew what a clean freak you are, it would burst their bubble."
Nora broke into laughter. Ignoring her captain's surly expression darkening further, she added, "That would give them nightmares."
"Shut up. The only stuff for nightmares here is you two messy maniacs," Levi said.
"Not true. I'm traumatised by all the times you've had me clean the stable. Besides, I'm not messy. I washed my hair yesterday evening." Nora grinned in exaggerated pride, her hair since then in two tidy braids she had knotted and pinned in place at the nape of her neck before they had left the HQ.
"You may be bathing regularly," her captain relented, rolling his tired eyes, "but that certainly doesn't apply to Shitty Glasses."
Indeed, Hange's messy hair was a bit greasy at the roots, as it was often. "So what," the woman said, eyes twinkling behind her goggles, "Don't have time for that. I'd just get dirty again, anyway."
"Tsk. Disgusting."
Smiling, Nora thought Hange kind of had a point—almost. Though she rather liked being clean, herself, she couldn't care less about her friend's dishevelled appearance, to be honest. Hange had her own priorities, and she seemed happy enough with it, and Nora suspected it was only partly because it annoyed a certain clean freak.
#
The metallic tang of blood was heavy in the air, smothering her senses. Nora had to suppress a gag.
The abandoned town they were trying to set up a base in was situated a few hours' ride from Wall Rose. Titans had descended on them from all directions, on them so suddenly that even Mike's keen sense of smell had barely given them more than a minute's warning, and the regiment had found themselves in the midst of a slaughter. Seeing Levi take out a titan right after it had bitten down on a comrade gave her an awful feeling of déjà vu.
"Look after the soldiers below," her captain was commanding Petra when Nora joined them on a roof to gather her surroundings. "Whoever's left, send them after the one on the right. I'll clean up on the left."
"On it," Nora said from behind them.
Levi turned sharply; eyes narrowed at her. For a moment, she thought he'd object. But then, he said to her, "Don't you dare get eaten while I'm busy," and soared towards his targets.
With a grim nod at Petra, she flew off to the lone titan on the right.
It was huge, and she took her time manoeuvring around and up to its neck above the surrounding rooftops, careful to stay out of reach of those long, dangerous arms. Focusing on the hate boiling inside of her, Nora dashed at the monster from above with a cry of fury and sliced, scissoring her blades with all the strength she could muster.
An explosion of hot blood followed, and she automatically turned her head to shield her eyes, retreating to the nearest roof. Immediately, she looked around in search of a raven-haired head, exhaling in relief when she spotted him two buildings over, wiping at his bloodied blade handles with a white cloth.
They met up where Petra was tending to the wounded soldier on the cobble-stoned ground, overgrown with five years' worth of grass.
As if to check if she was still in one piece, Levi trailed his intense grey gaze over Nora once, head to toe. Then, he went to kneel beside the injured Scout.
And she watched him comfort the dying man, watched as Levi clasped the bloodied, outstretched hand tightly in his own, and heard him say, with rare passion, "I will eradicate the titans!"
She was enraptured by this man—this cold, brutal, unapproachable, blunt, brilliant, kind, honourable man—who followed his own moral code, dedicated his life to humanity, placing the lives of comrades and the innocent over everything else.
Nora was unable to take her eyes off Levi, even as the bleeding soldier took his last breath. Without thinking, she took a step in his direction; she wanted to touch him, she wanted to hold him, she wanted to take his hand in hers and wipe it clean of the blood of their fallen comrade.
The noise of quickly approaching hooves brought her out of her reverie.
Erwin, bringing the worst news possible.
Trost was under attack.
#
When the Survey Corps—a third less than had left earlier this very same day—arrived back at the breached gate, they saw something impossible.
A huge boulder was plugging the massive hole in the wall. Titans were gathering outside, scratching at it uselessly.
"Everyone! Leave the horses for now. Engage ODM gear and scale the walls. Kill every titan left inside of Trost!"
And so—bloodied, bruised, beaten, broken—that was what the Scout Regiment did.
#
Reality changed after that day. Everything changed.
The next three days, Nora spent nearly every waking minute with Hange. The two of them barely slept and ate, living on tea and breathing science, if not for Levi occasionally forcing them to take a break, though he hadn't much free time, either.
In a frenzy, they revised every single thing they knew—and had believed to know—about humanity's biggest enemy. Over everything else, the two sharp-witted women spend most of the time brooding over the greatest secret of time, now that they knew. Now that they knew that a fifteen-year-old had transformed into a titan, sealed the breach with a boulder, killed other titans, fought for humanity. A soldier, like them. And he had emerged from the neck of his broken titan in a hiss of steam; unconscious, but unscathed. Victorious.
Everything traced back to this greatest secret of mankind, the one question no one could—or wanted to, they had begun to suspect—answer, the question that was the whole mystery of their small world: How came the titans to be?
"Think—how improbable is it that the boy's the only human who can transform? And why the hell can he, in the first place?" Hange was throwing questions into the room, ruffling through her messy brown hair that had long since come undone from its ponytail. "And wait! Maybe there's a connection between this and why titans look so similar to humans?"
Mind racing, Nora was pacing her friend's office, heedless of the books, folders, notes and documents strewn around everywhere. She was fiddling with the hair tie around her wrist, her thick, tangled blonde mane spilling over her chest and back. When she spoke, it was more like thinking aloud. "This is so incredibly fucked up, Hange. I don't even want to say it, but I think we have to toss our whole evolutionary theory for the titans. I mean, it never really made sense in the first place! There was always something missing. Why would they have appeared seemingly out of nowhere? And how the hell don't we know a damned bloody thing, if it's only been a hundred years ago?"
She looked at Hange with wide eyes, who said aloud what they both were thinking.
"Someone—multiple someones, most likely—are screwing with us. With all of humanity."
Nora nodded. "There's no way no one knows the truth behind all of this. Not with the Colossal, and the Armoured, and now this boy… Not with how the government made people who were curious or said too much disappear." Again, she thought of the father she had never known.
While the fury in her burned hotter and brighter with every passing minute, Hange had an entirely different reaction. She was gripping her desk so hard her knuckles turned white, but on her face was a maniacal expression unlike anything Nora had ever seen on her, and a truly unsettling laugh bubbled up from the Section Commander's lips.
"Oh, the fun's just starting, I know it," Hange bit out between bared teeth.
"And when shit hits the fan, we'll be right in the middle of it," Nora answered, kicking the wall to her right hard enough that the plaster crumbled.
#
The two titans—Hange fondly called them Sawney and Beane—the regiment had managed to capture alive after the invasion of Trost lifted their spirits somewhat. As did the news that Eren Jaeger, the young titan shifter, wanted to join the Scouts of his own accord. There was only the small matter that they had to convince the higher-ups to put him under the responsibility of the Survey Corps. The MP branch, those corrupt cowards, wanted to kill and dissect the teenager who had saved humanity and could be one of their biggest hopes. No doubt because there was a lot some influential people wanted to hide.
Over the last few days, while she had been cowled up with Hange in her office, the lab, or the library, Levi had spent many hours in Erwin's office. After a year with them, Nora didn't doubt the two cunning men had worked out some plan to achieve their goal.
Because of the work she did with Hange, she was allowed to attend the tribunal. Nora came to stand behind her captain. She hadn't been this close to him for quite a while, with everything that had happened. Holed up as she had been over the last few days, Nora had seen less of him than ever before since they knew each other, and it bothered her that she had even noticed this. Without his presence, she was even more on edge than usual.
Inhaling his scent was soothing, for once, and she leaned closer, whispering into his ear.
"I'm itching to see what you two've planned."
The set of his shoulders stiffened briefly. He turned halfway, watching her out of the corners of his eyes.
"Don't be. I have a feeling it's not gonna be pretty."
At first it seemed like that was all Levi had to say. Nora was already looking around the courtroom when he added, "Good to see you made it out of your den, you madwoman. Even managed to take a shower."
A faint flush crept onto her cheeks at his remark. Before she could respond, however, they brought Eren in and the tribunal commenced.
As was expected, the lazy, spoiled Councilmen weren't interested at all in using what had been given to them to gain back Wall Maria. Why would they be? Nora thought, her stomach twisting in anger. They can hide their fat arses behind Sina and don't care about the rest of the population, as long as they can stuff themselves.
One of the wealthy, influential merchants was ranting, even calling them delusional for wanting to save humanity, until Levi, out of nowhere, interrupted. Apparently, he'd had enough of their shit, as well.
"Squealing louder won't help your case, pig." His deep voice was barely raised, yet everyone fell silent immediately. And he proceeded to call them out on their selfishness in an outrageously insulting manner.
For the first time, Nora experienced first-hand how terrifying Levi was to most people. Anyone else daring to speak to them like this would have been flayed. Yet, they barely managed more than a meek, defensive answer.
Nora felt a sudden, strong urge to kiss her captain. Stronger than usual, even.
Things quickly spiralled out of control after that. The accusations grew wilder and wilder, until Eren couldn't stand it anymore and started yelling at them, mostly to defend the young witness Nora supposed was his girlfriend.
While his words were compelling, they were also those of a brash, naïve child. She watched the cowards of Wall Sina draw back in fear at his rage, and Nora knew the boy was done for. Just as one of the MPs aimed his gun on him, Levi strode forward.
And kicked Eren square in his jaw.
Nora flinched. It got only worse from then, but she forced herself to watch. Not once in her years as a Garrison soldier had she seen anyone get beaten up so viciously. Levi continued striking and kicking him relentlessly. His face was cold and expressionless, as if beating someone to a pulp was a regular occurrence for him, barely even an inconvenience.
Halfway through the gruesome ordeal, Nora realised exactly what her captain was doing. A short glance at Erwin's face confirmed her suspicion.
Brutal as it was, they were saving the boy's life.
Still, it was sickening to watch. To watch what Levi was—had to be—capable of. Reality was hard and cruel, as it had always been.
What on earth have you been through? What did you have to do to survive the Underground, Levi?
Nora could hardly begin to imagine.
"Jaeger was able to kill twenty titans before he ran out of steam," Levi was saying, "As an enemy, his intelligence makes him all the more dangerous. But I could still take him down without a problem."
Yes. She supposed she could see why everyone was afraid of her captain. Next to him, Eren seemed as intimidating as a puppy.
And who would dare challenge humanity's strongest?