Tonks, 03.07.1995
Of course, Mad-Eye had to be right, thought Tonks as she sat down in her office cubicle.
The Auror Office was usually lively and loud. People were laughing and gossiping while standing in the middle of the corridor.
But not today.
Today it was disturbingly quiet, and everyone sat at their desks. Tonks felt strangely uncomfortable.
At least one thing hasn't changed.
"Wotcher Talbott!"
"Good to see you, Tonks!" As always, he put on her desk a pile of documents, a coffee to go and a copy of the Daily Prophet, and then sat down at her desk. "I'm really glad you're back."
"Aww, did you miss me?"
"You have no idea."
Talbott began to tell her about everything that had happened in her absence. Supposedly, in the evening after the tournament's final, Fudge had a long conversation with Scrimgeour. On Monday, a meeting was held for all Aurors. Fudge explained to everyone what the Ministry's position to the situation is and what position the Aurors (i.e. employees of the Ministry) should adopt. Apparently, Fudge showed up two more times in the Auror's Office to give a talk.
"After Fudge's last speech, people are afraid to talk with each other."
"That explains a lot."
Tonks looked around the office as more and more of her colleagues arrived, but no one talked to each other. She took a long sip of coffee, thinking how strange it all was.
Why can't Fudge just accept that Voldemort has returned? Aurors should focus on looking for him, not on hiding their political views. Preferably, Tonks would go straight to Scrimgeour right now and tell him what she thought about all this. But she heard Moody's voice in her head, reminding her that she was now a member of a secret society. So it will probably be better if she, like everyone else, will try not to be conspicuous.
"By the way, you will never guess who asked about you. Williamson!"
Talbot's words snapped her out of her thoughts. Suddenly she felt a strange tension in her stomach.
"Winger, you're a terrible gossip!" and then Tonks felt her cheeks flush, so there was no point in pretending to be unfazed, "Ok, what exactly did he ask?
"Well, he came to my lab because of one evidence that I was investigating. And he asked me if it's true that you got married."
"What?!"
"O right! I forgot to tell you. There was a rumour in the office that you were getting married and that's why you were absent."
"WHAT?!" she screamed so loud that several people turned towards them, "But where did this gossip come from? I mean, only you knew I was taking some time off to help with Tulip's wedding preparations."
"Someone saw you at the wedding dress shop. They combined it with you taking a leave and - boom! A scandal has arisen! By the time this rumour finally reached me to correct it, it had acquired some interesting details. Apparently, you were going to marry a centaur, which is why you wanted to hide it."
"A centaur? Why would I want to marry a centaur?!"
"Surprisingly many people remembered that you morphed your nose into a reindeer one at last year's Christmas party. Some people don't know the difference between a reindeer and a horse, and some think that you just have a weird fondness for hooves. Nevertheless, it was decided that a centaur would be the closest to your taste."
Tonks looked at her friend in horror. She stopped blinking, afraid she would miss the moment when Winger would tell her that it was just a joke. Her eyes began to burn, but Talbot still didn't say anything. It looked like it wasn't a joke.
"So Williamson came to talk to you about me because he thought that I married a centaur?"
"Yes. But I fixed it."
"Sweet Merlin's beard! How am I ever look him in the eye again? Could you Avada me, please?"
"Hey, Tonks! I fixed it! You don't have to worry. I explained to him everything. And when I told him that you're still single, he looked soooo..."
"What?" Tonks ignored the sudden shock on his face, "Talbot, how did he look like?"
And suddenly she felt that someone was standing behind her.
"Mister Winger," said Scrimgeour, appearing out of nowhere, "nice to see you. But I could have sworn the analyst labs are on the other side of the floor."
Talbot grinned nervously. Apparently, he was wondering if he should explain himself first or just run away without a word.
"And good morning, Auror Tonks. Could you please follow me to my office?"
Tonks thought she had misheard. Scrimgeour had never invited her to his office before. She looked at Talbot questioningly, and he signalled her with his head to go.
Tonks ran after her boss. At the entrance to his office, she tripped over the threshold and hit the ground.
"Close the door and sit down."
So she did. Sitting in the chair across from Scrimgeour, she wondered what he wanted to talk to her about in private. Did he somehow find out that she had used the Auror entrance last weekend? Were the entrances monitored? Did he already know she was part of the Order?
"I hope you enjoyed your holiday. Did you do something... fun?"
"Yes, Sir, it was nice. Though wedding preparations are very annoying. Not my wedding, of course! A friend of mine is getting married. I'm her maid. That's all!"
"Right. I'm sure you remember that any Auror wishing to get married must first apply for a marriage license. A secret marriage can be grounds for dismissal."
Then that's what he wanted to talk to her about? It was hard to believe that such a big scandal happened only because someone saw her enter a wedding dress salon. Nevertheless, Tonks made a note in her head to be more careful.
"I'm aware, Sir. And I can assure you that there is no need to worry."
"Good," he said coolly, watching her closely. "A few things have changed during your absence. I'm sure you noticed. The Minister for Magic has been visiting us several times. He explained the position of the Ministry on several issues. Auror Tonks, did you hear what happened during the tournament final?"
"Of course."
"Could you summarise it?"
Oh, so this was about testing her loyalty! Fortunately, Tonks had predicted such a scenario and had already prepared an appropriate answer. She even practised a nonchalant tone of voice. Showtime!
"I don't think there is much to talk about. The Boy Who Lived let the success go to his head. And Dumbledore always had a screw loose. They made up a fairy tale to get some attention, but this swindle did not fool the Ministry. Now they stick to this version so as not to come out as liars. Pathetic..."
Scrimgeour shook his head slightly. Tonks had a feeling that her boss actually thought Fudge was the pathetic one. But it wasn't a question of what someone's true beliefs were, but whether he could hide them well enough. And from Scrimgeour's face, she managed to read that she must have succeeded.
"I have your schedule changed. You will now have mostly morning shifts on working days. Unfortunately, you also need to have at least two weekend shifts a month. Regulations. On weekends, you will continue to work on cases assigned to you by managing Aurors. But during the working days, you will have a special long-term assignment. You will report to me personally. Here is the file. Familiarise yourself with the materials and start working on it right away. Finally, there will be a good use for your... abilities."
He couldn't hide his disgust at the last word, but Tonks was used to it. Her relationship with Scrimgeour was never the warmest. She picked up the file he handed her and quickly looked through it. As she flipped through the pages, her eyes widened.
"But Sir..."
"Do you have any questions, Auror Tonks?"
Her hand was shaking like jelly. Tonks couldn't believe what she had just read.
The Ministry wanted to use her abilities for spying. But by no means was she supposed to do it to catch a dark wizard or prevent a crime. No, she was supposed to do this to report on Ministry employees who believed Dumbledore.
It was the beginning of summer, and the Ministry hired many interns, basically in every Department. Her job was to bring one such intern to the Auror's office every day, give him a sleeping potion, then morph and pretend to be him all day long. During this time, she was to eavesdrop on the other employees' conversations to learn as much as possible about their political views. Finally, she had to change the intern's memories so that no one would ever find out.
Tonks wanted to throw the file in Scrimgeour's face. But she knew she couldn't do it. Dumbledore made it clear that the Order needed Tonks to keep her job in the Ministry. So she had to grit her teeth.
"How often should I submit my reports?"
"Every Monday morning, starting from next week. Anything else?"
"No," she swallowed hard, "everything is crystal clear."
"Excellent. In that case, you can go now."
"Thank you, Sir."
She got up, and her chair made an unpleasant noise. Tonks was at the door with two quick movements.
"O, and welcome back."
With great reluctance, Tonks did her job. She pretended to be an intern at the Department of International Magical Cooperation. She had to admit that they didn't treat the interns very well there. After eight hours of work, they had to do two more hours of overtime. Since Tonks didn't want to destroy the reputation of the person she was pretending, she stayed longer.
When she finally finished her assignment, it was quite late, and she still had to take notes for the report for Scrimgeour and write two reports for Mad-Eye. She had no need to go home before the Order meeting, so she decided to stay in the office and write these reports there. The office was empty anyway.
Though at one point she heard someone coming inside. But she didn't care much about it. Probably someone forgot something.
Then the steps began to come towards her. Just to be safe, she covered the report for the Orders with those for Scrimgeour. She turned to see the face she least expected.
"Auror Tonks! You still here?"
"Auror Williamson..."
Could this be real? Tonks had had a few dreams before that started this way, so she was confused. She was staring straight into Michael Williamson's face. At his strongly outlined jawlines, his deep dark eyes. Merlin, he was so good looking!
"Do I have something in my face?"
"No, no, of course not, your face is perfect, I mean, perfectly clean. There, there is nothing in your face."
"Then why are you looking at me so surprised?"
"Am I? I guess I just surprised to see you, to see anyone, here at this hour."
"Yes, usually, no one is here at this time. I just went back for my wallet. And what are you doing here so late?
"Eee... I'm just, eee... I am finishing a report for Scrimgeour."
Merlin, why was she so nervous?
"Oh, then I don't want to disturb you anymore. I'll..."
"NO!" she answered way too loud. "I mean, you don't disturb me. Really! I'm happy that you here, I mean... It's really nice to talk to someone. I have a feeling that while I was gone, people forgot how to use their tongue. So I'm happy that you here and that we can, eee..."
"Use our tongues?"
At the last moment, Tonks stopped her hair from turning red. But she couldn't hide the blush on her cheeks.
"No, please, don't feel ashamed. You're right, it's been awful silent the last couple of days in the office. And I'm also happy to be here and talk with you."
"You are?"
"Yes. Actually, I always wanted to get to know you better. You've caught my attention from the first day when Moody brought you here."
She felt flattered. But she was an Auror after all, so one question immediately occurred to her.
"Then why did you never talk to me?"
"It will sound silly but... my girlfriend told me not to."
"What? Why?"
"Yeah, she was a jealous type. When I told her that we would have a new female Auror in the office, she forbid me to talk with you. I don't quite understand why. After all, I hadn't yet told her how funny, young and talented this new Auror was."
Tonks blushed again.
"Then why do you talk with me know? She's not jealous anymore?"
"She's not my girlfriend anymore."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," she said with pretended sadness.
"No, don't feel sorry. We didn't fit together. It's better that way, and it's been a while since we broke up, so I've already got myself together. Just please don't tell anyone in the office yet. Aurors are the worst gossipers."
"Tell me about it..."
"Right! You found out about it the hard way lately. I knew from the beginning that the part about the centaur couldn't be true. However, I must admit that I felt relieved when your little friend from the Magic Analysts Department confirmed that you're still single. Or is that also only a rumour?"
"Nah... I am... Well... It's true."
Tonks felt that she was not keeping up with her own thoughts. What was going on here? Why was he interested in her relationship status? Why so suddenly?
"It's hard for Aurors to find a life partner, isn't it? Hardly anyone understands us. This is probably why Aurors so often form relationships with other Aurors."
"I guess," she replied swallowing.
"Look, Auror Tonks," he leaned over slightly and took her hand in his, "I know, that you have a report to finish and that it's almost eight, but why don't we go have a coffee together?"
His words reached her with a delay. Due to the shock, she was unable to say anything. Tonks felt warmth all over her body. Of course, she wanted to go for a coffee with him! But something kept her from agreeing immediately. Only what was it? After all, she had no pla-...
"Wait! What time is it?"
"It's a quarter to eight."
"Oh, bloody hell! I have to go!"
"What?"
"I'm sorry! I have an important meeting!"
"Right now?"
"At eight. I will be late. Merlin, where is my bag?"
"Wait," he grabbed her wrist and looked at her with puppy eyes, "have I said something wrong?"
"No, absolutely not!"
"Are you sure? Because you see... I really enjoyed talking with you. And I'll be very sad if you just disappear now."
"I..."
Tonks was speechless. The way Michael looked at her made her feel guilty. Her dreams were about to come true in any moment, and she has to give it up. Merlin, why did this Order meeting have to be today?!
"I'm so sorry. I would love to talk to you longer, believe me! But I really have to go now. It's very important."
"Eh... All right. I understand. But I hope you will have more time for me by the next occasion," he lifted her hand and placed a kiss on it. "And by the way, you look very pretty when you blush."
His last sentence made her blush again, of course. They looked at each other's eyes. Tonks could stay in that position until the end of the world.
"Don't you have to go?"
"Right!" she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, "Thank you! See you soon, Auror Williamson!"
"Goodbye, Auror Tonks!"
As soon as she left the Ministry, Tonks Apparated to the address that Moody had given her. She looked at her watch - three minutes late. Perfect. Mad-Eye will kill her.
Just as her mentor instructed, she did not ring the doorbell but pulled the door handle straight away. However, she didn't expect that someone was already waiting for her.
"Tonks! You're here!"
"Wotcher Sirius!"
"I'm so glad you finally came! I was getting worried that something had happened to you."
"No, I just," she thought a second about the right answer," had to stay longer at work. Has the meeting already begun?"
"Not yet, Dumbledore is still absent. But he'll probably arrive at any minute. Come, I will bring you to the rest in the dining room."
Sirius took her arm and started leading her through the dark corridor. Tonks felt a little overwhelmed by his hospitality. After all, they basically didn't know each other, and he treated her like a sister. But she decided not to mention it out of politeness.
"Watch out for the umbrella stand," Sirius said pointing to the mentioned object. It was as gross as everything else she had seen in this house so far, "Moony stumbled over it recently."
"Are you going to tell everyone this story, Padfoot?" asked Lupin, standing by the entrance to the dining room, "Good evening, Ms Tonks."
Tonks felt paralysed, and she couldn't even come up with a simple greeting. She wanted to talk to Lupin about the report but in privacy. Tonks just wasn't ready to confront him that quickly. Should she perhaps now take the opportunity to speak to him?
Fortunately, a moment later, a familiar voice saved her from making a decision.
"Galloping gargoyles! Tonks! Good to see you, sweetheart. But, o Merlin! That means that you also joined the Order. Oh, but you are still so young..."
"Wotcher, Mrs Weasley! Nice to see you too."
"You know each other?" Sirius asked confused.
"Of course! Tonks was on the same year as my Charlie. She often visited us during the summer holidays. Me and Andromeda… Oh, how could I not realise it sooner? You must be the cousin Sirius has been waiting for all evening!"
Tonks looked at Black, who seemed a little embarrassed. Why had he been waiting for her all evening? Maybe Lupin told him about how she attacked him during the mission? Yes, that must be it.
"I heard from Charlie that you became an Auror! Congratulations darling! I knew you could make it!"
"Well, I had a bit of a doubt," said a new voice, "I was afraid that the biggest troublemaker of Hogwarts would be kicked out from the Auror program for misbehaviour before she could prove what she was capable of."
"Bill!"
Tonks threw herself into her old friend's embrace.
"Come on," he said, releasing her, "let's sit down together and catch up."
"NO!"
All eyes turned toward Sirius. His laud reaction was quite surprising, and he looked very stressed out. His hands were shaking, and you could tell from his face that he didn't know what to do now.
"What Sirius meant," Lupin spoke, "was that he had saved for you Ms Tonks a seat at the front of the table. Yesterday some expired elixir spilt over at the end of the table, and we haven't completely gotten rid of its smell. Right, Sirius?"
"Eee…Yes! Exactly! Come on Tonks, I'll show you."
"Later! First, you come with me, lassie."
Mad-Eye grabbed her arm and pulled her along before she even had a chance to protest.
"You are late. Don't think I didn't notice. Now, give me your new schedule and tell me all about the task you got from Scrimgeour."
Tonks didn't even ask how Moody knew about it already. Probably Kingsley reported to him.
She briefed Mad-Eye on everything and handed over her reports along with the schedule. But she had to stop because Dumbledore finally arrived and the meeting was about to begin.
Sirius waved at Tonks from the table, pointing to the empty seat between him and Bill. She started walking in that direction, looking around. On Sirius's other side was Sturgis. Weird. For some reason, Lupin was sitting on the other end, right next to Snape.
By the way, what was her old potions teacher doing in the Order?
"My dear friends," spoke Dumbledore, "thank you for coming. I would like to warmly welcome you all to the first official meeting of the reactivated Order of the Phoenix. Each of you is here because you believe in Harry Potter's words. You believe in Voldemort's return. And because you want to do something about it.
"I'm not going to lie to you. This is the hard, unpopular and dangerous way. The fact that you are here means that you are ready to take it. Regardless of all the risks and consequences. But be aware. The Death Eaters are already on the battlefield, and the Ministry remains in denial. This war has already begun. So what is left for us to do now, is to take actions, protect the people we love and believe in the dream of a better word."
Dumbledore was indeed an excellent speaker. His speech left a silence that no one dared to break.
The dream of a better word. Yes, that was really something worth fighting for.
"All right," Moody hit his hand on the table, "let's move on to business. I was supposed to give you your schedules today, but since one person has had a sudden change, I'll send them to you tomorrow with a magpie. Yes, you heard right, magpie. We can't trust owls anymore. Further, right now the Order is focused on three tasks…"
Mad-Eye started explaining everything about the Department of Mystery mission, the Potters observation and Death Eaters stakeout. The atmosphere was tense. Everyone listened intently, asking only reasonable questions. Moody also informed everyone that the entire Weasley family would move to headquarters for the summer holidays. Nevertheless, there were still enough bedrooms in the house to accommodate an Order member if there would be such a need.
"And before Molly brings dinner, two more things for our newbies. Firstly, you must learn how to send a message through a Patronus. Those who already can conjure a Patronus will have training with me. And those who can't do it yet will be taught by Lupin, who was so kind to agree to this. This lesson will also be included in your schedule. And secondly," Mad-Eye conjured parchment before every new Order member, "before you go home today, each of you is to submit here," he pointed at a document container on the dresser, "your last will."
Tonks and Bill looked at each other. Her friend's face suddenly turned paler and probably so did hers too.
Last will?
Wasn't that a little exaggeration? Since when has Mad-Eye become so dramatic?
"Thank you, Alastor. If no one has anything to add, then that would be everything for today. Unfortunately, I have to go. But before that, I would like to thank Severus for taking over the ministry watch today, Molly for preparing the dinner, and Sirius for providing us with his family home for the Order's headquarters. I wish you all a successful feast. Molly, please, let me get the dinner from the kitchen."
Sirius family home? So that's why the address sounded so familiar!
Dumbledore snapped his fingers, and a second later food appeared on the table. But no one seems to be hungry. Not after they were reminded so many times of the dangers to which they had exposed themselves and of death.
At one point, Sturgis Podmore rose from his chair with his glass raised as if to make a toast. All eyes were on him.
"Listen up, friends! I know what all of you are feeling right now, fear, worry, angst. You're pitying yourself. You are wallowing in grief. Because you have realised that you can die at any fucking moment." he stopped for a moment, "So, listen up, folks. Like it or not, but death is from now on our companion. And you have to deal with it. Death is a member of the Order just like everyone else here.
"But that doesn't have to be necessarily a bad thing. Yes, you heard well! Because after you realise that you never been so close to death like in this very moment, you can finally start living to the fullest. So tonight, we are going to celebrate life! And we will do so every fucking day. Appreciate the time you have left, my friends. Let us live well, so that we may fucking die well! Cheers!"
Sturgis raised his glass, and the rest did the same. Someone played the music, and before Tonks knew it, Sturgis dragged her onto the dance floor with him. He started to turn her so fast she couldn't even argue. After a while, some of the others started dancing too. The Order members divided into those sitting at the table to eat and drink and those who danced.
"Can I borrow my cousin?" asked Sirius approaching them.
"Actually, I'm starving. Haven't eaten all day. Maybe later." said Tonks moving to the table leaving Sirius and Sturgis on the dancefloor. She sat down next to Bill and began to eat. Only then did she realise how hungry she was. And Molly's food was just delicious.
At one point, Tonks noticed that Sirius had not returned to his seat. Out of curiosity, she started looking for her cousin. She found him sitting next to Remus Lupin.
Tonks thought Black looked a little upset. He sipped his firewhiskey with a very distressed look. But probably she was just imagining it. So she focused on talking with Bill, reminiscing about the good old days and catching up.
"Since you are back from Egypt, why is Charlie still in Romania?"
"Dumbledore wants him to stay there and help recruit wizards from abroad. But he will be coming here for a few days to visit sonnish."
"Oh, that's great! We need to meet together. You should come over to Penny and me. We just have to make it by the end of July, because then she moves out."
"Penny moves out? I thought that you two are inseparable."
"I thought so too. But she wants to live with her boyfriend."
"Well, good for her! And what about you? Will you be living alone, or are you looking for some new roommate?"
"New roommate. Definitely! I'm not ready yet to live alone. Why? Are you looking for an apartment?"
"No, unfortunately. I have already rented something. But I know someone looking for a place to live in London. A friend of mine. If you want, I can put you in touch with her."
"Sure! That would be…"
Suddenly something else caught Tonks's eye. Lupin was arguing with Black about something. She noticed it a while ago. But now Lupin left the table and approached Mad-Eye. They started talking, and her mentor looked a little irritated.
"Tonks?" asked Bill.
"Great! That would be great! Sorry, I got distracted. Yes, I have absolutely no time to look after someone, so it would be fantastic if you could contact me with your friend."
"Wonderful! I'm sure you will get along. Maybe not right away, I'm…"
But Tonks was not listening. She has focused on Lupin again. He finished talking to Moody and started walking out of the room. Was he going to go home already? Bloody hell! She hasn't had a chance to speak with him about what happened yet. And who knows when such an opportunity would arise again?
"I'm sorry, Bill! I just remembered that I have something to do. I will be back soon!"
And with that, she followed Lupin's lead.
Remus, 03.07.1995
Remus was going up two stairs at a time, making his way to the library. He wanted to get everything done before Sirius could change his mind.
"Lupiiii-n! Ouch!"
He turned to see Tonks lying on the ground next to the umbrella stand. The tall wizard came back to see if she was ok.
"Are you hurt, Ms Tonks?"
"No, don't worry. I'm fine. I'm just very clumsy."
Remus thought for a moment to help her get up but decided that it wouldn't be appropriate. The girl went on all fours and slowly rose to her feet. Today she looked the same as during their first meeting, only her hair was different (blue instead of pink). Remus wondered if this was her real face or just a preferred one.
"You sure, you are all right?"
"Yes," she began to fix her robes, "absolutely sure."
"That's good. Then I guess I'll go now."
"No, please! I wanted to talk with you about something."
Remus couldn't understand this. He was sure she would want to avoid him. Why in Godric's name did she want to talk to him?
"With me?"
"Yeah. Do you have a minute?"
He scratched his neck, trying to understand what was going on here. Unplanned, his gaze travelled over her shoulder. He saw Sirius sitting alone, sipping another glass of firewhiskey in one gulp, and then he immediately began pouring himself another drink. It was often hard to tell why Sirius was so depressed, but not this time.
"Eee.. yes, of course. Actually, I'd like to talk to you about something too."
"O, ok, then maybe we could go..."
"THE UNICORN IN RO-MA-NIA!"
She was interrupted by a very drunk Mundugus Fletcher. Dung was staggering and sang far too loud. But at least he wasn't out of tune.
"...KNOWS WHERE LIVES, THE PRE-TTI-EST WITCH!" he went right between them, "Hullo! Do u two luve birds know 'er the loo is?"
"Down the stairs and to the right."
"Thank u!" and then he went in the told direction, "I ASKED THE UNICORN FOR HELP, BUT IT DEMANDED MILLION GALLEONS AND RUINED MY DREAM ABOUT THE WITCH!"
Remus and Tonks watched Dung bounce from wall to wall until he finally disappeared down the stairs.
"I think we should go somewhere else."
"I think you're right. Let's go to the library, that's where I was going anyway."
Remus nodded, inviting her to follow him. He led her through the dark and cold corridors of the Black estate until they finally reached the library, heated by the warmth of the fireplace.
Lupin opened the door for Tonks and let her in. However, he hesitated when closing. It seemed inappropriate to shut the door down completely. So he decided to just leave them ajar.
"You know this house quite well. Did Sirius often invite his friends here?"
"Not really. In fact, he never invited us here. But while living in this house, I managed to get to know it a bit."
"You live here?"
"Yes, Sirius asked me to move in with him."
"Why? Don't you have your own house?"
"I do. Sirius just didn't want to be lonely. Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. But you were first. So, please, what did you want to discuss with me, Ms Tonks?"
"No. Now you got me curious. Talk."
It was then that Remus regretted his spontaneity. He should have thought it all over first. Now he didn't know where to start.
Tonks, meanwhile, settled down on the couch and stretched her legs onto the table. Remus came a little closer but decided to stand and watch her from a distance. The flames from the fireplace lightened her young face. There was not a single scar or wrinkle on it. Remus felt a little hypnotised.
"So?"
"Right! I wanted to talk with you about Sirius."
"I kind of guessed that already. But what about him?"
"I was wondering if..."
This was all a bad idea!
Remus realised what a big mistake he has done. He shouldn't get involved in matters that do not concern him. He has no right to do so. But it was too late, now Remus had to find a way not to appear demanding.
"So, eee, I was wondering, if, if you could, that's only if you want, of course, I mean, I will absolutely understand if you don't, and I know that I have certainly no right to ask you this, I'm aware how impro-..."
"Could you put your super polite talk aside and just tell me outright?"
Remus swallowed loudly. He took a few deep breaths before saying calmly, "I was wondering if maybe you could talk to Sirius."
"But I have already talked to him this evening."
"Yes, of course, but I mean a real talk. A proper conversation."
Tonks raised an eyebrow. She stood up and faced him, her arms crossed over her chest. There was still a distance of at least two steps between them.
"Ok, and what should I talk to him about?"
"It doesn't matter. Really. You can talk with him about whatever you want, and I guarantee you that it will make him happy."
"Explain."
"Pardon?"
"Why do you think a conversation with me would make Sirius happy. He doesn't even know me."
"That's the point. He wants to know you better."
The expression on her face showed that his answer had not convinced her. Not a surprise, though. Who normal would understand any of his babbling? Remus took another deep breath and tried to explain things one by one.
"Look, Ms Tonks, Sirius never had a good relationship with his relatives. He couldn't get along with his parents and brother, he didn't support their views. He was the first in the family to be sorted into Gryffindor instead of Slytherin. And he even ran away from home before he was of age."
"I already know all that."
"Yes, but you probably don't know that since his relatives couldn't create a family for him, he was looking for it everywhere around. Sirius wanted a family, but at the same time, he was too afraid to trust people. He still trusts only a handful of people, now maybe even less than ever. But believe me, for those he trusts, he is willing to sacrifice literally everything.
"And I can say without a doubt that he trusts you. When Moody told us about you, Sirius was so excited and joyful that he would meet you, oh… I wish you could have seen it."
"I'm sorry, but I don't get it. If he is so distrustful, why did he trust me? Again, he doesn't know me at all."
"I don't know why exactly, but I think it is because of your mother. The only relatives Sirius ever spoke well about were she and his uncle Alphard.
"Ok, let me get this straight," she used a sarcastic tone. "Since Sirius got on well with my mother during his childhood, he decided that I would now be his favourite cousin. That we'll act like we have some real family ties as if he came by my birthday at least every year or something. Did I get it right?"
"I understand that his behaviour may seem strange to you. But please consider what happened to him. He spent twelve years in Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit. And he was on the run for the last two years. I suppose he didn't have many opportunities for human contact. And his social skills must have suffered from it."
"His social skill suffered? Please... So I should just trust him because he trusted me? He was in Azkaban for murder, and as far as I know, he has not yet been cleared of all charges. Not to mention that he is an unregistered Animagus. For me, he is a complete stranger. So forgive me for being suspicious."
"You have all the right to be suspicious and not to trust Sirius. But trust can be built with time. You just have to give him a chance."
"Yeah, you already told me that. But has it ever occurred to you that I don't need to come into closer contact with my mother's family? Why would I even want this?"
"Because it would be nice for both of you?"
She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him almost with pity. It would be nice? Merlin, what's wrong with you Lupin? This was probably the world's worst argument. If Remus ever had any chance of convincing her, he'd just lost it. Now he had to fix it somehow.
"You know, Sirius has waited and prepared for this evening the whole week. He really made an effort. Even this morning, at breakfast, he gave me a list of jokes to cross out those that were inappropriate. Of course, I had to cross out almost all of them. Sirius has a particular sense of humour."
Suddenly, her face changed. Her features seemed to soften, and her hands fell along her body. So Remus decided to grasp the nettle one lats time.
"Sirius is not in a good place right now. He would kill me for telling you this, but that's the truth. He needs a loved one more than anything right now. And I know that I'm not in the position to ask you for anything, but maybe you could just..."
"Give him a chance?"
"Consider to give him a chance."
She was silent for quite a long time. Long enough to make him start panicking. Lupin was already sure that he had ruined everything when she finally spoke up, "All right. I will speak to him. "
Remus let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.
"Thank you."
"Now it's my turn. I have a question for you, Lupin."
"I'm listening."
Tonks took two steps forward. She looked at his face, frowning, and arousing an unpleasant feeling of anxiety in Lupin.
"Why did you lie in the report for Mad-Eye?"
"Excuse me?"
"The report for Mad-Eye. From our mission in the Department of Mystery. Why did you lie about what really happened when the Death Eaters went in? I have seen the report, so I know you didn't write the truth. And I want to know why. Do you think you can blackmail me with this or something?"
Remus couldn't help but chuckle. The idea that a werewolf would blackmail an Auror was too funny. But of course, the whole situation was serious, so he grunted and made an earnest face.
"No, I would never dare to blackmail you, Ms Tonks."
"Then why did you lie?"
"It wasn't exactly a lie."
"You wrote it as though you passed out from a Death Eater attack, not mine. So it's not much different from lying. Now tell me why you didn't write what really happened."
Remus had to think about it. When he wrote the report, it seemed obvious to him to keep this incident silent. He didn't even know why he did it, he just did.
"I guess I just didn't saw a point in writing the truth. Knowing Moody, he would make a fuss about it."
"And he should make a fuss about it! What I did was unforgivable! I attacked a partner on a mission!"
"It was just a normal reaction. I don't hold it against you."
"WHAT?! How could these be a normal reaction? This should never have happened! I should know better, I should know that this whole silver thing was just a myth."
Oh, right. Her cover story.
Did she really think he would believe it? An Auror trying to save a werewolf? It's nice that she wouldn't say it to his face why she really attacked him. But there was honesty no point in sugarcoating it.
"Why are you doing these weird half-smile again?"
Remus shook his head. He didn't even notice that he was smiling.
Tonks was looking at him a little pouting. Lupin wondered what to say to her. He was never good to lie someone in the face. And she wasn't just anybody, but an Auror, she was trained to catch people lying. So he decided to be completely honest with her.
"Ms Tonks, you don't have to pretend that you just made a mistake. It's all right. I know why you really attacked me."
"WHAT? You think I made it all up?"
"I know that protecting me was not the real reason."
"Oh yeah? Then what was the real reason?"
"I think we both know it."
"No, eh-eh, I have no idea what you are talking about."
"Please. Do I have to say it out loud?"
"I'm afraid that otherwise, we won't move on."
"Fine," he sighed, "you attacked me because you knew I was a werewolf."
As he said this, he tried to look her right in the face the whole time. But alas, on the last word, his gaze wandered to the floor in shame.
"Yeah," she said, and Remus heard her take a step closer, "I knew that. And? I don't see the connection."
"It's pretty obvious, Ms Tonks. You were in a dangerous situation, so you attacked me," he sighed, still looking at the floor. "And I don't blame you. Werewolves are indeed dangerous creatures. I can understand why people are afraid of them even when they in their human form. And I knew from the beginning that it would be better if you went on this mission with someone else. We don't know each other, so you have every right to be afraid of me."
"I'm not afraid of you!"
Her words made Remus look up. He noticed that in the meantime, her hair had turned red.
"You trucked your shirt into your pants and wear a wool waistcoat. You are everything else then scarry."
"Every wizard has prejudices against werewolves. Look, you know the Weasleys, right? You know that they are an open-minded, tolerant family. But when their son Ron found out about my condition, his first reaction was 'Get away from me, werewolf'. At first, everyone is scared and wants to defend themselves. It's an instinct."
"I didn't attack you because I was scared of you! I already told you that I made a mistake. That's all. Every Auror makes mistakes sometimes. But I can assure you that this won't happen again."
"Ms Tonks, do you really want me to believe that a competent Autor like you wouldn't know that silver can't hurt werewolves? That this is just a myth? Please forgive me, but I can't believe you could make such a mistake. I mean, in other circumstances, that could cost you your life."
Tonks stepped even closer so that their shoes almost knocked against each other. She slowly opened her eyes. It was impossible to ignore the anger on her face. And Remus could have sworn her hair turned an even more vivid shade of red.
"Listen, Professor Know-It-All, I don't know how to say it so that you will finally understand. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not afraid of you. And it looks like I'm a very incompetent Auror. By your definition, at least. Because I had doubts about whether silver could hurt you or not. And I preferred not to risk it. But know I see that it was a mistake because you obviously tend to be masochistic."
The intensity of her gaze was perplexing. There was something in her eyes... Remus didn't know how to call it. But he looked at them very long.
Was she really telling the truth? Was it possible that this extraordinary witch really had no prejudices against werewolves? Was she...
"O, good. You both here," said a voice from behind, "I need to discuss something with you."
Remus jumped in fear when Moody entered the library. In the blink of an eye, Tonks' hair returned to the blue she had had all evening. They both started to smile artificially as if they hadn't argued just a moment ago.
"This report from your mission," Moody said slowly approaching them. Remus felt sweat trickle down his back, "shows that you get along well."
Remus exhaled.
If you only knew, Mad-Eye...
Lupin and Tonks looked at each other, unsure how to react.
"Right?"
"Yes!" they responded simultaneously.
"Good. Because you'll have the Patronus training together."
"Eee… Mad-Eye," Tonks looked at Remus and then at Moody, "but I know how to cast a Patronus. So, shouldn't I have this training with you?"
"Yes, clever clogs, but I planned all training sessions to fit your old schedule. Now I would have to rearrange everything, specially for you. And I saw you both have a night off tomorrow, so it fit perfectly. You will have the lesson together. Just the two of you," he stressed the last sentence strangely, " I understand that you don't mind, right?"
Actually, Remus had something against it. And he suspected Tonks too. He quietly hoped they wouldn't be paired together anytime soon. But he couldn't say that to Mad-Eye now. He would know immediately that something was wrong between them and start asking uncomfortable questions.
"Right?!" he repeated with pressure in his voice.
"Of course!" they answered simultaneously, again.
"Good."
Fortunately, Moody was always a man of few words. He turned and left, leaving Tonks and Remus slightly shocked.
"He knows," Lupin whispered.
"He knows only that there is something wrong, but he doesn't know what exactly."
"Maybe we should tell him?"
"Merlin, no! It's too late for that. Now we must pray that he will never find out."
"Are you two coming?!" shouted Moody from the hall.
Tonks headed for the door first.
"You stay here?" she asked, standing already in the threshold.
"Eee, yes! I just need to get what I came here for. But don't wait for me."
"Ok, see you later!"
Tonks disappeared through the door, and Remus found himself listening to her footsteps to make sure she didn't stumble along the way. He shook his head as he realised what he was doing to come back to his senses.
He went to the desk and took some parchment, two quills, and a small ink bottle from one of the drawers. With these finds, he began to return to the dining room.
In the corridor, he met a few people who wanted to go home. Among them was Hesta Jones, with whom Remus planned to talk. Without thinking long, he walked over to her.
"Hestia, can I ask you for a minute?"
"Of course," she said happily, "what is it?"
"I heard from Sturgis that you have a talent for potions. And I was wondering if you would agree to prepare one on my order."
There was a sign of realisation mixed with shock in her face. Remus didn't quite understand the reason for this reaction. But after a while, Hestia spoke up and explained it, "Remus, please don't get me wrong. But I'm afraid you're overestimating me. I'm good with potions but not good enough to brew Wolfsbane Potion. You should ask Snape or maybe one of the Aurors."
"O, please, forgive me! I should be more precise. I wasn't thinking about Wolfsbane Potion. I wanted to ask about Dreamless Sleeping Potion."
"Oh! Right! I'm sorry that I assumed..."
"It's quite all right."
"No, I'm so sorry! Of course, I can prepare for you some Sleeping Potion!"
"Actually, it's not for me but for Sirius. Is there a chance that the potion will have orange flavour?"
"Orange flavour? No, I'm sorry. This potion is flavourless."
"Yeah, you're right. It's all ok. How much will I own you for the potion?"
"Eee..."
She looked confused. Surely Hestia must have been aware of his financial situation. Remus smiled at her for encouragement.
"I insist."
"All right. Preparing one cauldron costs two Galleons. And five bottles come out of a cauldron. But I can also sell you separate bottles."
Two Galleons. It was quite an expense for Remus. But he can afford at least one cauldron. And later he'll see how it goes.
They agreed on this price and Hestia promised that she would drop the potions at the headquarters the next day around noon. They said goodbye and Remus headed towards the dining room. There was only one more thing left on his to-do list. And he was going to do it as soon as possible.
But when Remus finally got there, he saw something, he would never have expected.
Lupin was glad because it seemed that his words made a small but meaningful difference.