"Anakin, do you want to go to dinner tonight? Maybe Dex's? There's something I need to talk to you about." Obi-Wan spoke into his commlink, trying and most likely failing to hide his excitement.

"Sure, Master. Actually, I have something I've been meaning to tell you too." Anakin said, sounding a bit sad. How strange.

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow at his comm, as if that would force the device to reveal just why his Padawan sounded like someone had just told him his beloved pet died. Obi-Wan knew what that sounded like, as he had once had to inform his own Master that their newest stray life form, an actually quite adorable loth-cat if he remembered correctly, had passed. That was a sad day. "Alright… Meet you there around 6?"

"Yup. See you then… Bye." Anakin hung up.

"…Okay, that was weird." Obi-Wan said aloud to himself, before realizing how insane he must look, talking to himself.

Obi-Wan set about doing things to pass the time. Today was a rare day off for him, and he had originally planned on enjoying it with Anakin but unfortunately his beloved Padawan had already made plans with his friend, and sort-of cousin if one were to put the Jedi into traditional family dynamics, Aayla Secura.

It was alright though, Obi-Wan was actually happy that they got along so well and liked to hang out when they both had time off. Aayla was already a Knight but she didn't let that stop her from being friends with a Padawan, as most Knights tend to do.

Granted, that is how they're supposed to do it. It becomes difficult to become or remain friends with Padawans once one is Knighted, unless they work together often enough, which rarely happens. The vastly different responsibilities make it hard to hang out as they would like to or as they once did.

But Aayla had taken a liking to Anakin from the first day they met, nearly ten years ago, and had refused to let their friendship disappear after her Knighting. Obi-Wan suspected she thought of him as her baby brother or cousin, in need of protecting and guiding. And she was more than happy to play the role of big sister, to teach him all about the life things that the Jedi deem unnecessary to teach, thinking that their younglings will eventually figure these things out on their own.

So, really, Obi-Wan was happy they were spending time together. He just wished it didn't have to be on his one free day in weeks. His talk with Master Windu, Master Plo, and Master Fisto had been over a week ago. But since then he and Anakin had both been very busy, and it always seemed that when they weren't, Anakin tried to avoid him. Which was even more strange, when one considered the fact that Anakin himself had been very adamant that despite their own separate thinking they needed to do, he didn't want it to drive them apart so much that they stopped talking again.

But it was fine. Or maybe it wasn't, Obi-Wan didn't really know yet. He figured he would find out tonight.

"Honestly, Aayla, I don't know what to do." Anakin confided, having just finished telling his friend all of his troubles. He was so glad he had her, unlike most of the Jedi she actually seemed interested in trying to figure him out, understand what he was going through, and help him. She was like the big sister he never had. Although, he supposed, now he does have, since she's in his life.

"Anakin… I understand your hesitation with Obi-Wan, but do you really think it's a good idea to lead Padme on like that? This could all so easily go very wrong and blow up in your face." Aayla responds, apprehension in her tone.

"I wouldn't be leading her on! I know it probably sounds like I would be, but I actually care about her. I love her, even if it's not in that way yet, and she's beautiful. Like an angel."

"Okay, but you already love Obi-Wan in that way, and he already loves you… sure he's afraid but his fears are valid. Either way, you'll have to hide a relationship, so wouldn't you rather hide someone you truly love rather than someone you're basically forcing yourself to love?"

"Of course I would! That's not the only problem though. If I get caught… with Padme it would mean only I get kicked out of the Order. Which… it's not that I want that to happen but it's not nearly as bad as it would be if Obi-Wan got kicked out. The Jedi have been his family for his whole life. I only became a Jedi because of Qui-Gon and some stupid prophecy, and because my mother wanted me to be free. It's just different. I may not know who I am without Obi-Wan, but I do know who I am without the Jedi."

Aayla considered this. What Anakin was saying did make sense… and she had known from the beginning that life as a Jedi wasn't exactly what Anakin had thought it would be. That it may not be the best fit for him.

She had grown up in the creche, so she was used to their more rigid and emotionless ways. She was better at dealing with the non-physical challenges of their life than Anakin was. Aayla had tried to help him as much as she could over the years, and she knew the others in their little pseudo-family unit had as well. But it was more difficult for him than any of them, and it only became harder for them to understand him as the years went on.

Anakin had known a life of not owning much, but holding on to what little you did have. He had known nearly ten whole years of his mother's love and protection. Anakin was taught that the biggest problem in the universe was that nobody helps each other, and so he decided he should help any good people who needed it. He had such a big heart, so much love to give, so much light and good in him.

If Aayla was being honest with herself, she knew that the way the Jedi perceived attachments was wrong. Fear, hate, suffering… those were the paths to the Dark Side. But that doesn't necessarily mean that attachments automatically mean Darkness. Obsession, jealousy, possession, desperation, repression… when attachments contain those things, that is when said attachments begin to lose their Light.

Some attachments are actually good. Being attached to someone in the Light can help those who struggle with the Dark work harder to remain good. Aayla knew that Anakin often struggled with an unknown Darkness in him. The way he described it almost made it sound like it was someone else. Like the Dark being in his mind was a whole other person, living in his mind but not actually created by it. And it seemed to have only appeared after he left Tatooine, which was strange, but a problem for another day. Right now…

"Don't force yourself to love Padme. If you want to pursue a relationship of sorts with her, I promise I won't tell anyone, as long as you don't let it get out of hand. She deserves better than to have something rushed and disastrous, and so do you. If you actually fall in love with her, that's great. But if you don't, you'll have to end it. Neither of you should lead the other on if you don't actually care for each other the way people in romantic relationships should."

Aayla would let Anakin have this because she loved him. He was her baby brother, and she knew he needed this, so she refused to stand in the way of it. She grabbed his hand, holding it comfortingly.

"But make sure you talk to Obi-Wan about it. He needs to know you've decided not to pursue anything with him, and he needs to know why. It'll probably be a difficult conversation, but it's necessary."

Anakin nodded, eyes looking sad and troubled, yet determined. "I know. I'm supposed to meet him at Dex's later. I'll tell him then."

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan smiled as he waved his Padawan over to their table.

Anakin, practically vibrating in his own skin from anxiety, walked over and sat down. He have his Master a shaky smile. "Hey, Master."

Obi-Wan gave him an assessing once over. "Are you alright, Ani? You seem troubled."

"Yeah, I'm fine." Anakin deflected, internally sobbing. Crying on the inside like a winner, he thought bitterly.

"…Right. I don't believe you. Seriously, what's wrong?" Obi-Wan was having none of his bullshit today, it seemed.

Anakin just blinked at him, considering whether or not he should tell Obi-Wan before they've even ordered their food. He kind of wanted to have at least a little bit more time to think about how to word everything, and to just enjoy the evening for a bit before he had to break his own heart and possibly Obi-Wan's.

But then his anxiety grew and caused his stomach to churn, so he figured it might be better to just tell Obi-Wan now.

"Uhm… that thing I needed to talk to you about? It's about… us."

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? So is mine. Do you want to say yours first, or shall I?"

Better to just get it over with now, Anakin decided. He took a deep breath. "I can't do this."

"You… can't do what, exactly?" Obi-Wan asked, fear beginning to appear at the edges of his words.

"This…" Anakin gestured back and forth between them. "Us. I… I will always love you. But this is too much. It's too hard, and I can't live with the fear that if we get caught we'll both get in trouble. I thought I could, I really did, but I love you too much to do that to you. I never should have brought it up in the first place." Anakin ducked his head, unable to meet Obi-Wan's eyes.

After a few moments of silence, though, Anakin got curious. He looked back up and his breath caught in his throat at the expression on Obi-Wan's face. Pain, sadness, regret. It only lasted a second. After Obi-Wan heard the faint noise that came from Anakin he seemed to realize that he was somewhere people could see him, and schooled his face into a blank expression. Anakin hated it.

"Obi-Wan, please understand…" Anakin reached for his Master's hand across the table, only to have it violently jerked away before he could even make contact. He sobbed quietly. "Please, I'm sorry. I've known for a while this life, being a Jedi, wasn't exactly right for me. But it is for you, I can see that. You're so perfect, in every way, and everyone can see you're a perfect Jedi. This is your life, and I couldn't live with myself knowing I was the one putting it at risk. We should just… forget everything that happened, everything we said, and try to go back to the way we were before."

Anakin pleaded with Obi-Wan to understand, but his Master only regarded him with the same blank look for a few moments more before taking a deep breath and speaking words that Anakin didn't quite understand the meaning of at that moment, but would never forget the significance of later. "You are my life. I would've given everything else up for you, even though we didn't have to. But if you want to just forget about all of it, act like none of it even happened, then fine."

Anakin watched as his Obi-Wan, his Master, the love of his life got up and walked away. He didn't know it at the time, but from that moment on, nothing would be the same for them… ever again.

It had been a few months since that night at the diner. Obi-Wan and Anakin were finally starting to get along as they once did when they were called in for their new mission. Senator Amidala was being targeted by bounty hunters. They were to be her personal bodyguards.

Anakin projected excitement, but struggled internally. Obi-Wan smiled agreeably on the outside, but cried on the inside.

This was going to be interesting for all those involved.