Chapter Nine: What Silence Sounded Like
The Past
They were not like everyone else. They may have occasionally pretended to slot into the usual norms of the society around them, and at times even wanted to be ordinary… but when they were together, unwitnessed by anyone else, they decided what their relationship was and did not judge it by the standards of the rest of the world. They did not assign themselves such roles; they did not limit their scope. They may not have been able to define what they had, but they knew where things began and how they ever would be.
She was a strange, unwanted thing he found and took in. She was the only person in the world he could be honest with. He never judged her. She never betrayed his secrets.
They were not like everyone else, with some clear demarcation of what they were and what role they played in each other's lives. They were what the other needed, and everything and every possible role that came up. She did not stop to dwell on what it meant, and though she was never entirely certain of what stray thoughts might've passed his mind, she never doubted that he was content with her as she was. He was the only one in the world who would listen to her and be comfortable with her silence, and the only one who would look at her and not want her to mask who she was.
When a new player came to their town, he played his cards close to the chest and kept her hidden. She didn't want him to exclude her from his business, but she respected his intellect and his forethought: he didn't trust anyone but her, and she tried to take some value in that.
Still, she indulged her curiosity and went to learn more about this woman trying to take hold of his leash: a woman he advised her to be wary of, to not underestimate just because she happened to have a pretty face.
And to her credit, she did. Just about anyone would easily be wrapped around her finger with a few soft words and a fond smile.
When Roman was entranced -however briefly- by just that, Neo nearly revealed herself from hiding. But he quickly rewarded Neo's faith in him by scoffing at this temptress, recognizing her flirting for the hollow act it was.
Still, when she raised her palm to affectionately pat his cheek, Neo burned with fury. She knew she shouldn't have doubted him; she knew that his eye and his mind may have wandered but his hand never had. Still, it troubled her. The thought his heart should ever waver…
He sensed it in her when they returned home. He alone could hear her; he alone ever thought to listen.
Each night he played a different part. Each night he was something else.
Her closest friend. Her mentor. The father she never had.
Her partner. Her employer. Her roommate.
Her lover.
All of it and none of it. Different day to day. The same man with a different role to play for the girl he took in, cherished, treated as his own… and who ever saw him as her only companion; the one and only person that she loved.
She was rarely bothered by anything he did. She did not often go to his side seeking anything other than a charming smile. On that night…
It wasn't the first time she climbed into his bed longing to be held. It wasn't the first time she was troubled by doubt and needed her one and only constant. It wasn't the first time her faith in him was rewarded.
He spoke her name. She liked it when he talked to her and filled the air between them. He liked every little sound she made. Neo may never have been able to talk, but Roman could make her sing.
She preferred to be on top; it was the only way she got to feel tall, and for her hands to find every part of him in her roving. He didn't mind her doing the extra work and giving him something nice to look at… and of course, he commented on both thoughts.
The brash confidence, the hint of chauvinism… exactly what she needed. He valued her, but hadn't forgotten to play the role of the suave gentlemen thief. Neo would move his hands for him, placing them on either hip, adding that extra feeling of warmth, that extra anchor of strength every time she moved… and that small touch of affection with every grip into her flesh, every gentle slap against soft skin.
Just her and him in their own world with their own bond… there, doubt could not reach her. In his arms, she had something more valuable than all the Lien, all the Dust, all the hoard of wealth: she had her constant. She forgot she had any reason to fear the future or recoil from the past. There was only the two of them and that moment.
When she fell off him and curled against his side, she clung to the afterglow. She looked out the windowsill and prayed the night beat back the day for a while longer.
Perhaps never being able to give voice to her wish was why it could never last. Perhaps prayers needed to be said aloud to have any effect.
Because she also wished for him to return to her each day, or at least if the end came for him for her to be at his side when it came time to collect on his debts… their final moment together could be just as beautiful as one on a night like this.
She heard him whisper her name before he nodded off. She wished she could return the courtesy, but settled for nestling her head against his chest and leaning up to kiss under his chin. The heartbeats under her ear gave her an easy count to lull herself away.
Sleep was not so easy for her. But listening to that heartbeat reminded her she was safe, and no longer alone… never to be so again.
Today
She hated the rain. It rained too much in this city, and the ancient wooden structures were all rotted from the constant fall. She'd moved to take refuge under an overhang as the clouds rumbled overhead and wondered if it all might collapse on her if the storm grew violent enough. Not for the first time she'd had to make do with unreliable shelter, wondering if this was the day -the week, the month, the year- that luck deserted her and she finally succumbed to the elements.
It was a terrible feeling, to find the present indistinguishable from the past. She was no longer quite so small and helpless -not quite- but hearing the rumbling of thunder and watching water rush down from the sky had a way of reminding her what it was to be alone… to hear sound without voice, to hear fury and never know any contrast to it.
She had never so much as heard her own voice. Listening to the rain fall and the clouds rumble, she imagined it would be how she sounded if ever she gained the power to speak: low, coarse, and gnashing. She did not care to know the sound. She could not imagine anyone else would wish to hear it.
But she had to listen just the same, waiting for the calm so she could continue her search. Somewhere in this city was a girl -a loved one to a murderer whose debt had come due. If she could find her target, Neo might consider sparing the blonde girl Malachite and her spiders had seen. If the blonde insisted on a fight as she had the last time Neo had crossed paths with her…
She might've been willing to kill them all. Ruby Rose, her sister, her teammates, this boy the sister had befriended… however many it took. But first and foremost, the ones she blamed: Ruby Rose -who'd done the impossible and extinguished his flame- and Cinder Fall, who'd engineered his downfall. When she was certain those two were dead, it didn't really matter to her who else remained to inherit the world.
The moments that truly mattered to her had ended. Her life -as far as she was concerned- was over. She only had to tend to unfinished business… to settle accounts before she closed up shop. If she provoked the ire of those loyal to Cinder Fall or Ruby Rose, it'd make little difference: there was nothing else for her to look forward to. No beginning, no after, just what she had to do.
Roman would scold her for not thinking ahead; for letting something so personal get in the way of business. But he'd also encourage her to do what she had to in order to be happy, and Lien and Dust… a warm bed, a hot meal, a roof over her head…
She thought it'd always feel different. She thought it'd continue to be a comfort to be sheltered from the world and the wrath of nature and the seasons.
But it was cold without him, even in a warm bed. Even a small apartment was too much space for her, and reminded her she was alone. Wealth meant nothing when it couldn't buy the thing she wanted most. She was back to having no one, being nowhere, feeling nothing.
Listening to the rain patter on the overhang reminded her time was going by. Each cold breath she drew reminded her that -lost though she was- she was still alive, and had a task to attend to.
Yang Xiao Long -Ruby Rose's sister- had a friend; another life she valued. Neo did not know if a friend would hold the same value to her as her kin; she'd never had the opportunity to know the distinction. She'd only ever had one thing.
But if she could find this friend, she might have leverage, or information... something that would move her closer to the redemption she had tasked herself with delivering.
She peered up at the dark clouds. Storms always had to pass eventually… people always coveted the calm and the silence…
They had never taken the time to learn what silence sounded like. They had never taken the time to listen.
There was no one left in the world to hear her now. None who would look upon her and know the difference between a raindrop on her cheek and a tear streaming down her face.
She had to live a while longer. She could clearly see her final moment, and finally saw some light illuminating her path to it.
What would this friend mean to Yang Xiao Long? What would his life be worth?
Oscar spent so long just staring at Blake, trying to will himself to say… anything that he was interrupted by the sizzling of his skillet filling the air. He took his eyes from her long enough to move the bacon off the heat, and once she was out of his field of vision he allowed himself the briefest moment to think.
Was it a threat? Was Blake -for some reason- unhappy to learn what she had or wary of Oscar? He supposed they had just met and she didn't have reason to trust him yet… whatever she may have thought of Ozpin may -or may not- have transferred over to Oscar.
Why was she letting him know? Why wasn't she talking to Yang instead?
Oscar tried not to avert her gaze much longer. He tried to be brave enough to address her directly. He wished he had a moment longer to discern what she was trying to find…
"We… weren't sure when we were going to tell everyone else," Oscar explained, finally turning his head. "We didn't really know where it was all going and we were trying to figure things out first. We figured we'd tell people once we knew what we had. We didn't want to get ahead of ourselves."
Much more confident than he actually felt. He listened closely for his own thoughts… if he had any wizard whispering in his ear the right way to phrase it. He had no doubt Ozpin was listening too… waiting to see how events would unfold.
"And how long have you been… together?" Blake inquired.
Her eyes were focused; affixed. Her ears were standing straight up on her head… the very first time Oscar had found the extra appendages… unnerving. She was listening for something… would those extra ears of hers allow her to hear his heartbeat; know if he spoke a falsehood?
"Not long," Oscar decided. "We've only known each other a few weeks…"
He wasn't sure how much of this information he was supposed to volunteer. Surely Yang should have a say in telling her friends about her relationships… so why ask Oscar?
"I see," Blake nodded.
He tested the waters. "Do you want to talk to Yang about it? I'm sure she'd… she'd want to know that you know."
"Mm," was Blake's noncommittal reply. "I'm sure we'll get to it. If she hasn't told Ruby yet, she probably wasn't going to tell me…"
That was a fair assessment. But still, why not bring this up to her teammate instead of the boy she'd barely known a second day?
Blake stepped out from the room. Evidently she wasn't so invested in their conversation to bother with a formal announcement of her departure, just leaving Oscar… confused.
He peered after Blake, walking from the kitchen down the hall. To her bedroom? To Yang? To Ruby?
He frantically reached for his Scroll and sent Yang a two word text: Blake knows.
That covered the high points, he assumed. It gave her some warning… if she needed warning.
Blake had passed no judgments and made no promises. So what had been the purpose of telling him? Just to make him aware she was in the loop?
You have a lot to learn about reading people, Oscar, Ozpin chimed in. Miss Belladonna has always been a woman of few words: but she told you a lot more than you realized.
"Care to share with the rest of us?" Oscar hissed under his breath, keeping an eye on the back of Blake's head and the furry black ears atop her long mane.
There is a division there she is trying to heal, Ozpin explained. She wanted to know how… attached Yang had become.
"Why?" Oscar asked.
Like I said… you have a lot to learn.
Ozpin really was selective about when he decided to be helpful. "So… what do I do now?"
Make a helping for her, perhaps? In case she joins us for breakfast.
Always so whimsical. Oscar sighed. "...I hope you'll tell me a little more than that when I need to know something important."
This is not your fight, Oscar. At least not yet.
"Fight?" Oscar repeated.
Leave it to Yang, Ozpin advised, suddenly stern. This is one arena where your help would not be appreciated.
Oscar supposed Ozpin had many more lifetimes to learn these things… even if he wasn't anywhere near as confident in Ozpin's advice as he'd been when they set out from the farm. Right then it seemed like Blake was going to tell everyone what had been going on and Oscar would have to answer embarrassing questions from… everyone.
Oscar turned back to the skillet and started up the next few strips of bacon. Did Blake bother to eat such things…?
Well, he was probably going to learn a lot more about Blake in the near future. He was sure Yang would be talking his ear off in due course...
Neo found her opening and slipped through the throng. She had to make the effort to conceal herself, but fortunately her disguise didn't need to be too elaborate: it seemed everyone in this city dressed in the same drab gray and beige. Maybe they'd been expecting the rain.
The establishment looked pretty ordinary: not so different from any other inn. Though renting rooms only for a short time… she hadn't expected the Xiao Long to be the type. But then -Neo supposed- things were so very rarely what they appeared to be. She knew that better than most.
Neo waited for an opening to ascend the structure, finding the first unlocked window and sliding in. She moved swiftly out from the room, passing by a few other locked doors, hearing some… unsavory things as she passed them in the hall.
Anyone who ran an establishment like this knew to remember their clients, just in case someone of power or note came by to bury their vice at the furthest edge of the city, far from the eyes of polite society… someone whose comings and goings might be something to barter. If her suspicions about the proprietor were on the mark, then she might gain some insight to the second target.
A farmboy… would that stand out? Probably not quite as much as a tall blonde like Xiao Long, but any details that might help her find her way there…
Neo descended to the ground level, peering around for any… clients. She saw only an innkeeper at the front counter, waiting for business to fall into his lap.
Neo had not always been the best at conducting business. She'd have to try and compensate for the lack of a smooth talker to match her brute force.
Or… she could operate without the restraint of a less vicious man holding her leash. If she could convey that…
Neo unsheathed her blade from her parasol and moved through her Scroll for a picture of a particular blonde bruiser she'd met in Vale.
The direct approach, then. And no one to implore her to be patient.
She doubted she'd need to be.
Yang saw Oscar's text while she was still pulling Ruby up from under the covers. She was well practiced at putting a game face on; at not letting her sister see doubt or concern. In her groggy state, Ruby wouldn't think to look for it. Distracted by the promise of breakfast and in the dim morning light, Ruby wouldn't see the subtle twitch.
Yang went through all the necessary motions of wrangling her. She did the same for Weiss, albeit without quite lifting her out of bed… she took the time to knock before she did that, at least.
She saw Blake wandering the hall, up and about ahead of the others. Their eyes met.
Yang wore her mask. She didn't betray her emotions. She just kept her eyes on her… friend.
Ruby and Weiss milling between them made it impossible for Yang to call her out. She had to wait for a better opportunity.
For the moment: "Come on, girls, Oscar's making breakfast."
She turned her eyes from Blake and focused on guiding the other two along. Given Blake hadn't yet divulged what she knew to them -Yang thought, anyway- she presumed they could be civil and get through breakfast.
She wasn't sure when there'd be an opportunity to speak to Blake alone. But clearly she needed to.
Reconciliation could wait. Friendship could wait.
First and foremost… Yang needed to know why Blake hadn't come to her.
Neo had given him chance after chance before she cut. She kept moving the blade closer but graciously pulled away before she nicked. When he lied to her a second time, she left the shallowest little cut. When he continued to profess his ignorance, she sliced off the tip of his earlobe before aiming her blade lower. Just in case he needed a clearer picture.
When Neo threatened something that actually mattered to him, he started spilling his guts very quickly. The blonde and the farmboy had left after an hour then went shopping nearby. He swore he hadn't seen them after that.
Neo pressed the tip of her blade against his thigh, against an artery that, once cut, he may not have had time to fix before the bleeding knocked him to sleep… and shortly afterwards, something deeper. He kept crying out he didn't know anything more.
When Neo's blade poked through the fabric of his pants, the innkeeper cried out that the farmboy had a retractable cane clipped to his belt. Something that would help her identify him.
For the first time, Neo was given pause. She couldn't ask him any specific questions without allowing him some opportunity to escape her grasp, at which point she'd pretty much have to kill him, and she'd learn nothing more.
She withdrew her blade from his leg and brought it up to scratch along his right cheek. Enough incentive to know he'd bought his life… but a firm warning he'd yet to earn his safety.
He rambled… he didn't know what she wanted… he didn't know what he needed to say…
Neo drew her blade away. It'd take too long to make her complex inquiry, so she instead typed a simple message on her Scroll: which way?
Thousands of people lived in this city. She would never have enough time to search every dwelling. Even Neo would need to sleep.
But if she had her heading…
The innkeeper desperately pointed. He swore up and down he knew the merchants they traded with and that they would give her what she wanted.
Neo had given him ample chances to be honest. Yet now he spurned her.
She sliced his cheek. He fell away from her, clutching the wound and trying to cry out, a task made all the more difficult without a good chunk of his face.
He was alive. He should've considered that a mercy.
Neo stepped out from his field of vision, quickly donning her disguise and stepping out the front door. She moved into the crowd, sliding her blade back into the sheath of her parasol… no one would question a girl holding an umbrella on a rainy day, especially when she looked the same as everyone else.
A cane. It was more than she'd had to go on than before.
A man with a cane -even a cane he didn't use- would stand out. And based on the innkeeper's frantic point, she had a direction in which to look.
There was blood in the water now. She was drawing closer…
Yang ate quickly. The rest of their breakfast together she sat quietly, listening to Ruby and Weiss catch up on their adventures while Blake had been… away. Blake wasn't as quick to detail her journey to them, settling back into her usual role of listening to her teammates and playing the sounding board to their antics.
Oscar was at the table with them, but had been quiet throughout, keeping his head low above his plate and saying nothing. He'd occasionally glance Yang's way, but each time she shook her head and waved him off. This wasn't for him. To his credit, he seemed to pick up on her cues fairly quickly.
"Hey, do you guys want to get some training in?" Oscar suggested to Ruby. "Or are you still beat up from Haven?"
"Oscar, maybe we shouldn't do that right after eating…" Weiss suggested.
"No, he's right," Ruby argued. "We can see how your new leggings do in a fight!"
"...that isn't why I bought them…"
"Good idea," Yang quickly cut in. "You two can go with Oscar; we'll catch up."
She met Blake's eye. Surely she wouldn't be bothered to be alone with her partner while Oscar threw himself upon the sword.
"Do we… need to train?" Weiss wondered.
"Well, we still have to wait on the train schedule," Oscar pointed out. "Did you have something else planned for today?"
Yang silently thanked him for drawing the attention away from her. Weiss may well have had an inkling there was something going on if Yang was the only one pushing her out the door.
"No, not really," Weiss conceded. "Alright, we'll get an early start."
Blake gathered up her plate. "We shouldn't be long."
Yang snapped her gaze back over to Blake. Did she think their conversation was going to be brief?
Probably. She still hadn't spoken to Yang at all… she may not have intended to do anything but meet the basic obligation of telling Yang what she missed.
There still wouldn't be any understanding. There wouldn't be any apology. Just… another assumption that things were okay; that she hadn't done anything wrong.
Yang felt a familiar twitch in her left hand. She reached under the table to take hold of her wrist, discreetly silencing the tremor away from her friends' field of view.
Ruby and Weiss stood up and headed for the back. Oscar ran some water over his skillets and left them in the sink to soak before clearing the path for Yang and Blake.
Her partner hadn't risen from her seat. She seemed as calm and reserved as ever.
"Why did you go to Oscar?" Yang asked. "Why didn't you talk to me?"
A long stretch of silence.
"...I wasn't sure you wanted me to talk to you," Blake answered. "I… I kind of got the sense you needed space."
To some extent that was true: Yang had been far more distant than Blake would recollect of her. But did she think that there was some sort of insurmountable wall between them?
"And what, you thought you should ask Oscar about us instead?" Yang wondered. "If you didn't want to talk to me, you could have just kept it to yourself."
"Is that what you want me to do?" Blake asked.
Yang was getting increasingly frustrated. "...I wanted to tell you -all of you- about Oscar and me, but we were trying to find a good way to do it. I… I don't want Qrow to know, not yet… but I wasn't going to keep any secrets from you. Not from you, not from Weiss, not from Ruby. I just didn't know how to bring it up. I've never been here before."
Yang had confided in Blake before; shared something of herself that even Ruby didn't know every detail to. She hadn't felt so resentful in acknowledging that, as a child, she'd made mistakes. She was feeling quite a bit more resentment now trying to read Blake.
Blake had been evasive at times at Beacon, but after she acknowledged that she was a Faunus, that she was in the White Fang, that she had suffered… after all that she'd share more, little by little. She wasn't always forthcoming, but she was honest; able to acknowledge her faults.
Now she seemed to be judging Yang… not aloud, not directly…
"Are you still going to?" Blake asked.
"Are you?" Yang snapped back.
For the first time, Blake seemed surprised. "I...I- no, of course not. I didn't mean-"
Silence again. Yang watched Blake fumble about for thought. She'd once found the sight endearing…
"I'll be the one to tell them," Yang curtly informed her. "When we're ready, when everyone's ready. Until then, I don't want to hear about it from you."
"Yang, I didn't mean-"
"What didn't you mean?" Yang asked. "Go on, tell me: what did you want to do? How did you see this going?"
Some part of her enjoyed shifting things around and putting Blake on the defensive…
"I was… just…" Blake thought on how to phrase it. "I don't know Oscar and wanted to ask him-"
"Ask him what?" Yang pressed.
Silence again. Blake searched for the words.
She tried to say what she so badly wanted to say.
Yang scoffed, standing up from the table. "Why did I even bother…?"
"Yang, wait-"
"Look, just… just keep this to yourself," Yang flatly instructed. "I'll tell Ruby and Weiss soon, and after that you won't have this hanging over your head. You can do that, can't you?"
Blake's ears drooped ever so slightly as she averted her gaze. "...sure, Yang. It-it can wait."
"Good," Yang murmured. "Well... glad we had this talk." She collected their respective dishes and headed to drop them off in the sink. With Yang's back to her, Blake desperately tried to say her name, tried to be braver when she didn't have to look upon such fierce eyes.
She went to talk to Oscar to understand. She wanted to know why they were together; what Yang felt for him, what instilled that passion in her.
She wanted to know if Yang had ever felt that before Oscar, if she hadn't considered…
Blake stood up from the table and walked from the room, her head pointed to the floor. There was no reason to bother asking: it was pretty clear how Yang felt about her. It was pretty clear how she would answer, if not exactly what she'd say.
Yang let the running water hide the noise from Blake's sensitive ears. Her harsher breathing would be concealed by the faucet. Her trembling hand would be forcibly exacerbated -and disguised- by cold water.
Every time -every time- she interacted with Blake she felt all the worse. And Yang was trying to find a way of conveying that without exploding at her, because she did not enjoy seeing Blake struggle to respond to her.
...no, that wasn't entirely true. She had found some… relief in confronting Blake about her scheming around. When it came time for her to be judged, Blake quickly lost her nerve.
But she was still her friend and Yang didn't want to keep dancing around like this. She wanted Blake to talk to her, but if she was just going to play games like this…
First her mother, then Blake… just causing that stress and that doubt to return. And now if she went to Oscar to try and smother those uncomfortable feelings, she'd do so knowing full well Blake was aware of what they were doing.
She shouldn't have hesitated so long. She should've told Ruby straight away that maybe she felt a bit differently towards Oscar than she let on…
But then, if they started that conversation, Ruby might've asked Yang about Blake, and what she really thought… just because Ruby didn't want to see it didn't mean she'd missed the signs.
After the training, she'd focus on Oscar and plan their next step. Blake may have said she'd hold her tongue, but Yang was no longer certain she could count on any promise from Blake Belladonna.
She hated that feeling. She hated thinking there was someone in her circle of friends she couldn't trust.
She drew her hand from the frigid water. Still trembling…
Doubt had a firm grasp on her now. Right after things had started to go her way…
Then a black cat crossed her path…
Neo cursed herself for not thinking of it sooner.
She'd seen the vehicle in Vale: parked on a freeway overpass that Yang Xiao Long had descended from to join her friends in battling Roman's stolen Atlesian tech. It had a distinct coloration of yellow and black… in a city of beige and gray, it'd stand out.
She had only to find a motorcycle…
The storm had already started to clear. The streets were still slick, but she had her heading and knew what awaited her at the end of the path.
The sister of the girl who killed Roman. And a boy with a cane. Each of them holding some value to the other.
Leverage… in due time.
The rain was soft, but each droplet felt like a stab on her back. As she crawled along through the mud, every time water dribbled down her cheek and fell of her nose, she felt once again like she was drowning in the spring.
Death had been so close. For a brief moment when Raven Branwen had encased her in ice, she had thought that would be the end. She had thought all she'd done had been for nothing.
She woke underwater, sucking down too much water. Even now, outside the cavern, scaling down the mountain… she tasted that cold on every breath.
But they were all reminders she was still alive. Defeated, wounded, vulnerable… but alive. And while her plans may have fallen apart…
"Gods, are you okay?!"
...fate continued to smile on her.
Cinder turned her eye to a woman holding a basket of food, crouching down to look upon this wounded creature crawling in the dirt. "Where did you…?"
Cinder's left arm -the arm Salem grafted onto her after amputating the original- slapped the mud at the woman's feet. Upon seeing the black flesh, she dropped her basket in a fright. Cinder looked up to find this poor woman's terrified eyes.
The kindness of strangers… however unwitting.