I do not own Hetalia okay? I don't have much to say with these chapters, so enough of this A/N, on with the fic!
August 3rd 1919
(from the journal of Katyusha Williams nee Braginsky)
War never can leave us alone can it? I feel so bad for Matvey right now. I knew he had to kill someone in the war and one of them did haunt his mind because it was when the man was right on top of him and only recently he had come to terms with the reality that in war things like that happen and it is not your fault. So when Eliza, my new friend had come over with her fiance, finding out her first husband by some cruel joke was the man that Matvey had to kill did him no favors. I will of course keep Matvey's confidence and not tell Eliza what happened but by god, I don't know what to make of this. He was so shook up by the fact. I could only imagine you staring down the widow of the man you killed and is your wife's friend, I do not envy him.
Luckily they were very understanding. Well Eliza was, Roderich was a bit rude but she just said it was his way. Which he seemed rather particular to me. He did make some comments about my cakes and tea but Eliza did give him a look and he did fall quiet. When Matvey saw the picture he had to run to the bedroom. I went to check on him and told her I'd meet up with her at the coffee shop in the coming week. Roderich was about to say something foul about him not being able to handle war or something and it seems Eliza took care of it was when I was about to smack the man myself.
I told Matvey it wasn't his fault and held him close while he just kind of worked through it. I mean that isn't just a sound of something being very close to the ordinance you heard so much of, that is pretty much the repercussions staring you in the face of what you had to do. I don't see any difference in a volunteer and a draftee in my eyes. He was just looking for some way to blame himself, which he should not do. We are blessed to have what we have, even if some of it came from a war loss. I still have not completely processed Vanya's death either and sometimes the silliest things will bring it up. I mean the smell of fresh peppermint brought it up the other day. He used to suck on those so much. I mean I grew a patch for when he came back to try and make the candies myself the year he died. And it turns out once mint is established, it's staying season after season. I don't know if that is good or bad. But I guess I will have it for when I need it then. It has many good stomach soothing uses after all.
I just wish I could soothe Matvey's mind. Whiskey can help but I don't want to have him rely on it, and neither does he. I think for the time being I will meet up with Eliza alone and away from the house. Maybe Roderich can meet with him alone? I think he needs a friend and he will be less rude... we'll just have to see.
So how was that? Good? Bad? Short? Long? Let me know in a review. I don't have much else to say here so remember to read (well you just did) and to review. Ciao for now,
otherrealmwriter
aka
Realm.