Nemu and her Odd Behavior
It was another ordinary day at the Department of Research and Development which of course meant that Mayuri was gleefully preparing to experiment on another poor soul.
"Um, Captain? Are you sure this is safe?" The "volunteer" asked fretfully.
Mayuri groaned in annoyance. "Of course it's safe. "I am merely testing how much spiritual pressure a person can withstand before disintegration. The room your in will tell me when your body is near the breaking point at which then Nemu will release the pressure.
"O-Okay."
Mayuri pressed the start button and the spiritual pressure inside the room began to increase. The soul reaper inside already began to feel dizzy.
"80..90..100..110..120!" Mayuri exclaimed as he read the charts. "Alright Nemu! Release the pressure!
There was no answer and the pressure continued to increase.
"Nemu!? Release the pressure!"
C-Captain? I don't feel so good."
POP!
The soul reaper's clothes fell lifelessly to the floor as Mayuri payed no mind.
"Where is that damn girl?" Mayuri pondered. In his preparation of the experiment, he was completely unaware of Nemu's absence.
"Well it's a good thing I have surveillance bacteria stored inside of her." Mayuri marched toward the screen through which he could see what the bacteria saw and switched it from Uryu to Nemu. Apparently, she was watching the Squad 11 training grounds.
"Squad 11?" Mayuri growled. "What business could Nemu possibly have in that den of battle-hungry idiots?"
Among those training at the grounds was Ikkaku, the 3rd seat of Squad 11. He was practicing kendo with wooden swords and seemed completely unaware of Nemu spying on him.
"Nemu seems to have a strange interest in particular to this buffoon." Mayuri mumbled. "Nemu will have to answer for this."
An hour later, Nemu flash-stepped back into the lab where Mayuri was waiting.
"Well well well!" He grunted. "Look who finally decided to show up."
"Master Mayuri." Nemu responded. "I can explain."
"No need! I already know you were at the 11th division training grounds watching that imbecile Ikkaku. Now explain yourself!"
If Mayuri wasn't as angry or at least as self-centered as he was, he would have noticed just the tiniest tint of red appear on Nemu's otherwise stoic face. Nevertheless, he didn't and she felt somewhat glad for that.
"The truth is, Master Mayuri, I feel a strange...fascination with Ikkaku."
"What do you mean fascination?" Mayuri asked impatiently.
"How do I explain it? Nemu pondered. "It's like when I see Ikkaku, I wish to be around him and to physically touch him. I've never felt this way before Master Mayuri."
Now it was no surprise to anybody that Mayuri wasn't exactly an expert on love but in truth, he knew absolutely nothing about it. It was a completely alien concept to him and, by proxy, Nemu. For this reason, neither party knew what these feeling were. Mayuri, however, saw this as an opportunity for more experimentation, causing a monstrous grin to appear on his face.
"I see. Well I should punish you for ditching your duties but I think just this once I'll let it slide. But you better be here tomorrow. Your presence for the experiment then is vital.
"Very well Master Mayuri." And with that, Nemu left.
Mayuri laughed manically to himself.
"Oh what fun tomorrow will be."
When Ikkaku woke up on this particular morning, he was expecting to see his room or maybe Yachiru chewing on his head again. What he was not expecting was to be strapped down to a metal table in a empty room.
"Hey!" He shouted. "What the hell's going on here? Someone let me out!"
"Pipe down you idiot." A door opened to reveal Mayuri and Nemu who was holding a basket.
"Captain Kurotsuchi?" Ikkaku cried out in fear. "What the hell are you doing to me? What's in the basket?"
"I said pipe down!" Mayuri shouted before turning to Nemu. "Alright Nemu. I'm going to leave you two alone in this room. I expect to see some interesting results." Mayuri left the room and Nemu approached the bound Ikkaku.
"What are you gonna do to me!?" Ikkau asked fearfully.
Nemu sat the basket down and pulled out a sandwich which see brought to Ikkaku's face.
"Eat." She stated..
Ikkaku was reluctant to eat the sandwich knowing that it most likely had something horrible inside it but, deciding that what might happen if he doesn't eat could be worse, he took a bite.
Hey. Ikkaku mused, feeling a tad more relaxed. "That wasn't half bad."
"Do you like it?" Nemu asked. "I made it myself."
"Really?" Ikkaku asked surprised. "It's uh not gonna explode is it?"
Nemu giggled a little at the comment before feeding Ikkaku more of the sandwich. Meanwhile, Mayuri watched from the surveillance room.
"I'm not sure what Nemu is doing but I'm sure it will turn interesting soon enough." He assured himself.
One Hour Later.
Why isn't anything happening?" Mayuri hissed in frustration. "Was that sandwich really set to explode or not!"
All this time, Nemu and Ikkaku had been simply talking with each other. Nemu was pleased and even Ikkaku was enjoying himself despite being strapped down.
"This is madness!" Mayuri growled as he reached for a button. "It's a good thing I implanted this into Nemu's body when I did."
Suddenly a long metal centipede-like creature forced itself out of Nemu's mouth and attacked Ikkaku.
"Gah! What the hell is this thing? Get it off of me!"
Nemu panicked. She had forgotten that Mayuri had implanted that in her for emergencies. Using kido, she quickly released Ikkaku from his confines. The 11th division soul reaper wrestled with the metal monstrosity until he finally managed to pull it off. He threw it on the ground and began stomping on it.
As he did this, the creature started shooting a red laser beam all over the room. Nemu had to drop to the ground to avoid getting hit by the blast. Ikkaku finally succeeded in stomping the creature's head but not before it let out one last blast that broke the window Mayuri was hiding behind.
"Drat! The design was flawed."
"You!" Ikkaku growled, seething with rage as he unsheathed his zanpaktou.
"Wait a minute! How do you still have your zanpaktou? I plucked you right from your bed?" Mayuri asked dumbfounded.
"Squad 11 always sleep with their zanpaktous so they can be ready to fight at a moment's notice." Ikkaku calmly explained as he held the sword before him. "Grow, Hozukimaru!"
"Now wait a minute! I can explain!"
Ikkaku jumped up from the room and began chasing the 12th division captain. Nemu watched the scene unfold with a smile as she sat on the floor of the experiment room.
And that's the story of how Nemu tricked Mayuri into setting up her first date.
(Not much of an embarrassment story but come on. It's Nemu. What do you want me to do?)