Late October

Lily was haunted by Snape's words.

She wracked her mind for anything plausible alternative to what his comment could have been about. But there was only one event that merited any conversation between the two of them from last June: her brother's death. Thinking about that night brought bile to her mouth, Lily feeling ill at the memory of trying to keep her brother's warm blood from leaking out of his throat.

He'd died at the hands of muggle robbers. The ministry ruled the case closed and shut when the bodies of the two men who'd accosted them appeared on the banks of the Thames a few weeks later. It'd given her entire family to know that Luke's killers were dealt with, in some divine stroke of justice.

The idea that there was more to his death was unsettling. Lily spent days mulling it over, wondering if there could be any other implication to it. Since Luke died, there'd only been one drastic change to her family; their alignment with the purist party and the death eaters.

But there couldn't be any relationship there. If the death eaters wanted her family to join, surely they would have tried other forms of persuasion before outright murdering one of them. Lily recalled Emmeline mentioning that her brother and father were threatened into joining. Yet, she clung to the correlation, unable to drop it in the next days.

She didn't return to James's for a week.

Caught up with school work and a weekend visit to her parents' house, she was unable to find time to return to his company. Both reasons also served as the perfect excuse to continue mulling over Snape's warning about James. She'd witnessed the tongue-tying jinx in action and knew that there was something being covered up.

What it was still eluded her.

And if there was one thing Lily couldn't stand was being left out of the loop. While James hadn't written to her once in the past week, she decided to take matters into her own hands. Days before Halloween, Lily broke into Slughorn's potions vault during one of her private sessions, taking a vial of veritaserum with her as she returned to the heads dorm. She wrote to James that night, sending a message of her request to come and see him on Halloween.

He responded by morning, sending a package along. Lily made the mistake of opening it in front of Emmeline at breakfast, who'd broken into peals of laughter upon seeing the lace monstrosity James had sent.

"I thought you weren't seeing Potter anymore," Emmeline commented when she regained control of herself.

"I'm not," Lily replied, shutting the package and stuffing it into her bag.

"Then who sent you the lingerie?" Emmeline drawled, leaning towards Lily. "Pray tell me who could be more shaggable than him.

"Aren't you dating my brother?"

"I can admire the menu," Emmeline replied, rolling her eyes. Emmeline was as close to Switzerland as Lily could get, being close to amicable with the Slytherins and civil with their old friends.

But Emmeline was dryer than Marlene's out in the open emotions and colder than Mary's warmth, leaving Lily with an immense sense of loneliness. Things were much different than last year where she'd been able to escape the long hours of solitude, even when in a crowd, through James.

Now things were starkly different, him unable to tolerant her presence beyond sex. Lily considered the thought with ill-placed humor. A year ago he'd pined for her with all his heart, however piggishly he'd shown it. Now, she was unable to find solace in anyplace but his arms.

It was that realization that set her mind.

She would use the veritaserum and get to the bottom of whatever Snape had told her about.

On Halloween evening, Lily stood in front of her mirror wearing the lingerie he'd sent. The bra lifted her breasts, barely covering them in lace and sheer material, and the underwear matched, coming with a fitted garter belt. The green hue of the ensemble stood out against her red curls and made her eyes glow in the dim light. It didn't surprise her that it fit perfectly, James probably knowing her body better than she did.

"What in Merlin's name are you wearing?"

Lily whirled around, meeting Regulus's gaping gaze. She flushed, hoisting her robe on, and sneered at him.

"Get out."

"Who are you all slagged up for?" he taunted, eyes glued to her body.

"Considering you've told half of Hogwarts about my sex life I'm sure you know."

She slid into a skirt, removing the robe and hoisting a sweater on as well before noticing that Regulus was still in the doorway.

"Go perv on someone else," Lily snapped, grabbing her wand and the vial before shoving past him.

"You're such a joke," he called. Lily's jaw locked and she threw the middle finger at him before flouncing to the fireplace and flooing into James's living room.

She landed and found the room lit by candle, a house-elf standing by the door.

"Master James will be back in an hour," the elf announced. "He's at a work dinner."

Lily rolled her eyes, recalling someone mentioning that he'd left his job almost immediately, foisting his way into the Department of Defense. She waited in the living room, watching the clock.

"You're here early."

Lily turned, seeing that he'd stepped into the room. In the months since school, he'd filled into his height, going from the finely-muscled boy she'd known to something closer to a man.

"Couldn't take another moment of Regulus's company," Lily answered. "Drink?"

James eyed the glass of firewhiskey she held with interest.

"Did you like my gift?"

"I'm wearing it," she purred. His eyes darkened, James coming in front of her.

"Yet you're hiding it," he noted, hand trailing up her arm. Lily kept the two glasses down on the side table and James reached for her.

"Oh," she gasped, James suddenly over her. Lily's head was on the armrest and she inhaled sharply as James parted her legs, one hand trailing over the garters she'd worn and the other braced above her head.

"Fits you like a glove," he noted, eyes glued to hers as his hand slipped into her underwear. Lily could feel herself melting into him and blinked, gathering her wits.

"I'm parched," she said, reaching above her for the two drinks. James released her with a chuckle, reclining back as Lily extended a glass to him. He took it, pouring it out onto the floor.

"You're rather awful at drugging people," he quipped, watching the color drain from Lily's face. "Although I do find it endearing that you tried."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she sputtered.

"What was in there?" he asked, raising a brow at her. "a stunning draught? or was it…"

"Veritaserum," she admitted. James smirked at her, arrogance in his gaze.

"Well we're in for a fun night aren't we?" James taunted, bringing her closer to him. Lily stiffened against him, looking down bashfully when he toyed with her a lock of her hair. "Why did you attempt this rather elementary drugging?"

"Because you're hiding something from me," she choked. "What happened last June James?"

"Who have you been speaking to?" he asked, countenance suddenly changing.

"It doesn't matter who I spoke to" she snapped. "I want the truth. You owe me."

"You're hardly in the position to be asking questions," he finally said. "Now why don't you tell me—"

"No," Lily interrupted, standing and placing her hands on her hips. "I'm done with this torment James!"

"Don't be so jaded Lily," he sneered. "It's not becoming."

"Would you rather I explain my assumption?"

James was silent and she nodded.

"There was only one thing of relevance in my life that happened last June: Luke's death," she said, voice cracking in the middle. "Right after, my family not just aligned with the death eaters, but became champions of your lot's fuckery. "

James was silent and she felt her fingers move to her wand.

"I think you had something to do with his death."

Suddenly his countenance shifted, James laughing darkly and advanced on her, lifting a lock of her hair.

"I suppose it doesn't really matter if you know now… You've really dug yourself in too deep," he commented. "The Dark Lord gave me an offer last year. Bring the Everett family in and I'd get the one I've ever wanted."

Lily's mouth was dry as he leveled her a demanding stare.

"Care to guess what that was?"

"Me," she choked. "You wanted me."

Lily's head reeled and she tried to pull away from James, only for him to grab her waist, his grip steel.

"Your family wasn't going to be swayed easily," he explained. "Not with your mother and Julius known members of Dumbledore's ensemble. So I took matters into my own hands."

"How?" she gasped, horror infusing itself to her core.

"Imperoied two muggles to follow your brother," he admitted, looking at her with bemusement. "Although you weren't supposed to be there that night— always getting yourself in the wrong place aren't you?"

"I ran into Luke," she said numbly, eyes flitting up to his. James nodded. "That was the worst night of my life."

"I didn't intend for them to traumatize you," he explained, reaching for her face. Lily turned her cheek and he smirked. "I never meant to hurt you."

"You killed my brother," she snapped, anger in her voice. "You took away his entire future for what? For your twisted obsession?"

"Love," James replied. "I've loved you si—"

"You don't know what love is!" Lily cried, finally breaking from his grip. "You've been the single source of my misery. You tore my entire family apart."

"Does it matter?" James pushed, trying to come closer to her. "You'll be mine one way or another."

"I don't understand— you treated me so horribly these past few months," she said desperately.

"Because you left me," James said. "I wanted you to feel as betrayed as I felt."

"You realize how fucked up that is right?" Lily said, inhaling sharply. "Merlin, James you're a monster."

He tried to reach for her and Lily swung her wand out. James looked at it, a patronizing smile on his face.

"You won't harm me," he said, voice piqued with amusement. "You're much too docile."

"Don't come closer to me," she said, voice shaking. "I'm turning you in to the Ministry."

"Put the wand down," James said, his voice lower. Lily's hand was shaking, shock hitting her in waves. "Let's talk about this like adults."

"Like adults?" she repeated hysterically. "You killed my brother. You destroyed my entire family for some fucked up fantasy you have of us."

"What we have isn't a fantasy," James said, eyes dark with emotion.

"We don't have anything," she snarled. "I hate you— I hate you with all my heart!"

She realized then that she was crying and Lily watched as James forced her hand down, bringing her into his arms.

"Let go of me," she said, voice muffled against his shirt.

"I love you."

She was going to be ill. Lily managed to shove herself from James, walking backward to the fireplace with her wand gripped between her hands.

"I hope you rot in Azkaban," she spat. James looked at her, a bored expression in his gaze as he regarded her.

"You realize that the Ministry is going to be controlled by the Dark Lord in a matter of days?" James scoffed.

"My dad won't run once he learns the truth," Lily protested.

"And what will the truth do to him?" James asked. "Or to your mother? I hear she's only got weeks to live."

"Shut up."

"Ignorance is bliss," James answered. She stared at him, knowing that he was right in some regards. This truth would destroy her parents, especially her father who'd pledged his life to the very man who'd sealed his son's fate.

"They deserve the truth," she announced, looking behind her at the fireplace. Lily reached for the pot of floo powder but gasped as she was suddenly pinned into the wall next to the fireplace.

"I can't let you do that," James said, his breath hitting her face. "Don't make this more difficult than it has to be."

Lily managed to wiggle her wand between them, the tip pressing into James's chest.

"Let go of me," she ordered. He ignored her and she felt a noise of frustration escape her lips. "James we're over."

"We've hardly begun," he drawled, his finger trailing up her side. "Now put your wand down before I have to take it."

She didn't. Instead, Lily lifted her knee into his crotch and watched pain flicker into James's eyes. He released her in shock and she dove for the floo powder, hurling it into the fireplace.

"Everett House," Lily shouted, about to leap into the green flames. Before she could, James grabbed her from behind, throwing her into the ground and pinning Lily down.

"That was a mistake."

Lily gasped for air, James's weight crushing her. He wrenched her wrists above her head, forcing her legs apart with his and her head began to spin. He threw her wand from her grip and smirked down at her.

"Get off me," she gasped.

"Why?" he asked, bringing his free hand to her face. Lily tried to twist her head from his grip but James was much stronger than her, all muscle and domineering height. He held her face, forcing it up so she met his gaze. "It's a shame I'll have to obliviate you."

"Don't you dare," Lily threatened, still squirming against his grip. "You're evil!"

"I'm in love."

James seemed to realize he was cutting her airflow off and rose, bringing Lily up with him. He twisted her arms behind her back, forcing her forward as he looked to the couch for his wand.

She couldn't break out of James's grip and sagged against him, realizing that all of her struggling was futile.

"Did I tire you out?" he taunted, turning her around so Lily faced him. "Are you going to behave now?"

Lily glared up at him, James reaching behind her for his wand. As he leaned down, Lily threw herself on top of him, sending both crashing back to the ground. James cursed and she scrambled away from him, reaching for her wand.

Pure adrenaline ran through her veins as her fingers locked around the wood. Lily's mind flashed suddenly to a memory of Snape's potions notebook from their fifth year.

For enemies.

"Lily put that dow—"

"Sectumsempra," she cried. Light lanced from her wand, hitting James and he was thrown back into the couch. Lily didn't hesitate, rising and diving towards the fireplace.

"What have you done?" a house elf cried behind her. She didn't turn, hurling herself into the green flames.

AN: Full disclosure, I hit a crossroads moment with this piece and decided to break from my original plan to introduce a redemption version of James. While I'd planned for him to have a turning point, I decided to go in this dark James direction instead! Hopefully it doesn't scare too many readers away haha.

R&R