Author's note: As you saw in the last chapter, I won't be focusing much on rehashing game content, but rather expanding on things, adding stuff that I'd love to see. Again, sorry about the late update – but the good news is that my work project is going well. Thank you all for understanding :) I am slowly building up Snapshots to lead into a post-ending fic, and I have a few ideas that might slightly differ from canon, but we'll see how that goes. Thanks for staying tuned! A special shout out to u/Mu51c4lB0x from the FollowersOfCyberJudy subreddit for PMing me an idea that came into fruition in this chapter. Thanks, choom! PS: The fish from Judy's text doesn't agree with FF formatting. I had to improvise...

The road less traveled

Meeting with the 'Queen of the Afterlife' made me wonder, for quite an unnecessary amount of time, about how people change with time, given enough of it. In a place like Night City. Even Johnny made the odd comment about her being stone cold, possibly not in the possession of all her marbles.

Marbles? Who had the eddies for such expensive materials? Actually... wasn't that something you could only see in a museum BD? I was clearly missing some obscure reference to a world I had no way of knowing... And when Johnny made such comments after being initially overjoyed and... oddly enthusiastic at seeing Rogue after all those years, I felt oddly inclined to agree with him.

It was clear that Rogue knew how to get shit done and how to get the deets on anyone or anything she needed, and in a very short time, too. She was worth the price, even if there was not much hospitality about her. I learned that the guy who basically created the whole Relic technology, or at least had a great understanding of it, Anders Hellman, jumped ship to another corp, and they were going to try and move him to a different facility. So if I wanted to have a chat with him... I'd just have to take down a Kang Tao AV, get rid of security, and then punch that smart-ass until he began to talk.

It wasn't the kinda thing I'd do alone, so Rogue, the Night City chess champion in her free time, set me up with a rebelious Aldecaldo... She was an interesting acquaintance. Bit of a big mouth with an attitude, but something told me there was more to her than just all bark. It was already late, and Panam was on a bed hugging the other wall of the small room. My new Nomad-but-not-anymore-partner, Panam Palmer. I had to help her in order to get her to help me. That was how Rogue played it out at least. Panam was a bit of a short-fuse grenade, at least from what I gathered from the time we spent together, but smart in a pragmatic, lethal kinda way.

I helped her get her ride back, wasted some Raffen Shiv in the process... then we sent some more to the ground, clearing through their hidey-hole in some unfinished tunnel... or maybe it was a mine shaft. I wasn't entirely sure. What I knew was that those guys were well-trained. Disciplined. Something about them made me feel like they really earned their name. Wraiths. Especially considering their reputation for attacking at night, harassing towns, and generally being a fucking menace. Panam explained to me that Raffen Shiv were the scum of the earth. Murderers, rapists, criminals, no better than a pack of rabid animals, preying on anything they could find.

I felt very little to no remorse for killing them. Sadly, Panam said that the Raffens always found ways to regroup, dust off, begin anew. Like cockroaches.

My musings on the less desirable elements of society (like I was an upstanding citizen in any way, shape, or form) were pleasantly interrupted. And I needed that little slice of happiness in that moment.

Judy: [Yooohoooo]

Judy: [Know what rymes with judy? BOOTY uh-huh uh-huh]

Judy: [your so cuuuutee]

At first I was concerned. Did someone take her phone...? Was she okay? She knew that I wasn't going to be back for the night, because of the Badlands business... but I didn't think she'd miss me that much. That would have been pretty gonk of her.

V: [Hey... you OK?]

I had to wait a few moments for a reply, it seemed like she was struggling with typing for some reason.

Judy: [Just out wit some ferns. frieends.]

Finally, it made sense. Seemed like my lovely girlfriend took the me having the audacity to spend the night away from NC as a signal to get shitfaced... I just hoped she was safe. And was having fun.

V: [Definitely drunk]

Judy: [Weeeeeell... maybe jus a littl bit?]

I couldn't believe it. I actually found that adorable. Judy, the genius BD editor, the most sought after expert in her field, always quick to quip and smooth with her words. Completely smashed and telling me I was cute. I shook my head and giggled.

V: [Pics or it didn't happen]

V: [You could at least send me some stills]

I waited a few more moments, gazing intently at my phone. Finally, an answer arrived. It took me a moment to decode.

Judy: [X(^((*b … fine, knock yourself out :D]

What in the fuckity was that, even? It kinda looked like one of Jude's tattoos... Oh right, yeah. Must have been a fish or some other underwater creature, judging by the tail fin...thing. I wasn't very knowledgeable about fish, to be completely fair. We killed them all, as the superior species.

"Everything alright, V? I was about to doze off," Panam turned to face me, a slight squint of concern on her face.

"Oh yeah, s'fine, sorry. Just messaging with my girlfriend. She's having a night out with friends... definitely more than two Brosephs, though, so a lot wilder than the party at Sunset Motel," I chuckled.

"Is that the one you mentioned when I asked if you have anyone close to you?" Panam propped herself on one arm.

"Yup, the one and only. I'd show you a still, but I'm not sure if you're into soppy shit like that," I shrugged. I wasn't exactly sure why I offered, but something told me that Panam wasn't going to laugh at me for doing so.

"Are you kidding me? Of course I do! Let's see who's crafty enough to wrap a merc like you around her finger," she grinned at me and looked at my phone, waiting for me to produce some photographic evidence.

I quickly found my favorite pic of Judy. Took it at my pad. She had Nibbles in her lap and a burrito in the other, trying to keep the two from interacting at all cost. She was looking up at me with this Really, V? kinda smile while I took the picture.

"Awwwh... she looks badass. Wait, is that a Mox tattoo I spot? Well now, now I understand your taste for danger, V," Panam teased me.

I shook my head slowly, "She's with them, yeah. And she can be... temperamental," I remembered the word Judy used to refer to her own grandmother. It was telling but diplomatic enough, "But she's got a heart of gold. Too good for this city, really. Been talking about leaving together," I admitted, not entirely sure why I was pouring my heart out to Panam. Who would have known you could bond with someone over killing scummy gangoons.

The Not-so-Aldecaldo looked at me for a moment, considering her words carefully. I could tell she wanted to say something, but decided not to, eventually. At least not for the moment.

"What's her name?"

"Judy. Judy Alvarez," I scoffed at myself and shook my head, "Damn, I really like her, you know?" somehow it felt almost cathartic to confide in Panam. I had this idea she'd just understand.

"I can see that. I can definitely see that. I hope things work out between you two. Alvarez. Could be a decent name for an Aldecaldo" she nodded slowly, adding the second part of the sentence with a light shrug. I raised my brows but she didn't elaborate. It did make me wonder if life among the Nomads was something that Judy might remotely consider... "You should definitely get some sleep, though. We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow, and I need to sleep on my ideas on how to get your Corpo guy."

"Night, Panam. Thanks for listening," I said quietly, smiling at her before she turned around and wished me a good night as well.

I was pretty sure I was going to be able to fall asleep without trouble after a long day of running errands and killing a lot of people just to find that one Hellman guy. But then I got another message from Judy. I carefully lifted my phone, since Panam was already snoring audibly.

Judy: [V is my fave letter]

Apart from a message, there was a still included. And certainly not one I was expecting. A shiver ran down my spine and my throat suddenly became completely dry.

She was looking right into the lens of her phone camera, holding it up with one hand. She had her chin raised and her hazel eyes half-closed in a kinda challenging expression. Her cheeks were flushed, with warmth and alcohol alike, there was a sheen of sweat on her skin. With her other hand, she made the letter V with her index and middle finger, placing her palm to her mouth, so the digits were on either side of her lips. The tip of her tongue was poking out between her fingers.

I stared at the picture for a few moments, completely forgetting to breathe. If anyone else had done it, I would have thought it was a bit too... cheap and stereotypical. But seeing Judy do it, the way she posed and executed it... Besides, I was aware of what that poking tongue was capable of... fingers too. I exhaled and sat up, swallowing a lump in my throat.

V: [I... Jude... Wow.]

Judy: [whaaa... not good?]

Judy: [wait let me get nother 1]

V: [Too good. Perfect. Need a cold shower now. Be safe, okay?]

Judy: [shower huh. pics or didnt happen]

Of course, I obliged. If someone told me, a few months ago, that I'd be taking a semi-naked selfie before the shower just to tease back my girlfriend, I'd have laughed in their face. But here I was, trying to find that perfect angle, and failing a bit. But judging by Judy's drooling emoji as a first response, I succeeded.

Judy: [damn calabacita you fine]

Judy: [im so horny rn. i think i gotta go home like stat]

V: [Thanks, cuteness. I know the feeling... Get home safe, k?]

Judy: [Pinkie promise yes maam. calling ur delamain]

I took a cold shower, the still Judy had sent me kept me warm throughout it. Sleep found me, somewhere between a budding headache, and a soft sigh that I let out, realizing just how much I missed having Judy in my arms. I'd grown so used to her company already, that falling asleep alone didn't feel right anymore.

The next day was... what I can only explain as fucking wild. Panam had a plan, and a good one, at that. We only needed to get into a power plant, crank everything up to eleven, plant a special charge, delta the fuck out of there, and then detonate the thing once the Kang Tao AV was passing above the plant, forcing it to land.

And it worked. Almost. Thankfully, Panam had a back up plan in her car. A fucking missile launcher. It was like a bonus episode of Watson Whore after the alleged season finale, I swear. We would have probably celebrated, but everything went to shit pretty quickly. Comms went down, and we heard Panam's friends over the radio... but the EMP blocked us from replying. It was a shit show. Kang Tao made short work of many, but at least Mitch, the guy I met back at the Aldecaldos camp, was still alive. His buddy, Scorpion, wasn't so lucky.

Panam and I went on a wild goose chase after Hellman and the remaining Kang Tao to finally find him inside some gas station along the way. The Aldecaldos showed up to make sure the site was clear, Mitch gathered them. When I came out, carrying Hellman to one of the bikes, the sheer number of people outside felt a bit intimidating. Before I could have a chat with him, I had the opportunity to meet Saul, the leader of Panam's group. These two really had a communication problem. That's what usually happened when you had two people, both of them stubborn and with strong ideas about their principles, have different ideas on what direction to take about life. Especially when it came to a whole pack. He schooled Panam about how every Aldecaldo was responsible for their safety, and the safety for the family members, regardless of circumstances. Asshole wasn't there, but felt it was okay to play the preacher. He seemed aloof to me, then again, Panam was a handful, maybe this was just how he had to deal with her, all things considered.

Then it turned out Saul actually wanted to make sure Panam was alright. She must have felt stupid, realizing her outburst wasn't completely warranted. Didn't seem like my place to say anything, family affairs were complicated. For the time being, Panam and I said our farewells, and I made my way to the Sunset Motel, with an unconscious Hellman in tow. I had let Takemura know, he said he'd come and have a chat with him as well. Of course, that didn't mean I couldn't have a little warm-up with him first.

One of Hellman's first questions was whether Yorinobu had sent me. I told him he didn't, and that made the scientist assume I had an offer for him. He wasn't wrong, technically. He could talk, or earn a bullet. I made my situation very clear, though I had to admit, my fingers were itching to make that smug fuck lose a few teeth.

I frowned at how direct and forward that thought was in my head. It almost felt... I didn't want it to be my own, but the realization that it could have been Johnny's, because there was less of me in my own body than even the night before was even more terrifying.

I gave Hellman a summary of just how fucked up my situation was after klepping the biochip from Yorinobu. At first he couldn't believe me. Then he became fascinated. Fucking nerd. I had no time nor patience for his bullshit.

It was almost funny watch him flail around when I mentioned what Vik had said. Oh, the indignation of the great mister-future-tech. It was as if a million NDAs suddenly cried out in terror and were silenced. Truly, terrible. I almost wanted to laugh in his face. Except he wasn't giving me the answer I wanted. In fact, he wasn't proving to be worth all this hassle.

Apparently, the chip in my head was new and experimental... and built with the intention of implanting it in a new body. A dead body, to add. I was the perfect patient, thanks to fucking Dexter DeShawn. Learning about the chip recipient having to be 'neurally indifferent' by design... Irony of life and death hit me hard. Hellman's words didn't exactly comfort me. Then he said that he had left Arasaka before work on that version could be completed. My trigger finger was itching. This wasn't what I expected at all.

Hellman offered to take a look at the chip. I was wary, but I didn't really have a choice in the matter, if I wanted to move things forward. He did, doing his ooohs and aaahs about how impressive it was. It didn't mean he had any good news, though.

My neural network had deteriorated. My brain couldn't function without the chip anymore, apparently. And then the fucker had the audacity to tell me he knew of a clinic in Sweden where I could live out my last days with minimal pain. I had no clue how I managed to not strangle him throughout that entire conversation.

The construct was programmed to be a brain-eating parasite. I was becoming a Johnny-zombie. Of course, unloading all that on me didn't deter Hellman from asking me what it was like to share my consciousness with Johnny. A true scientist. I wonder if he was ready to die for his science, too, if he kept going on like that.

He kindly informed me that I might start doing things that I once thought unthinkable. Not that the sensation gnawing at the back of my head wasn't there, the slow awareness, in the least expected of moments. But that was all it was, I was aware of the small pulls. What he was suggesting was way scarier, though. Not knowing when I crossed over from being me to being Johnny.

What if he just decided to... disappear? What if he hurt Judy? What if everything I was working towards was just going to suddenly take a completely different direction because of Silverhand's whim? The man himself, or rather his specter, kept pacing around the room, throwing comments and smoking his invisible cigarettes. There was a deep hole in my stomach, a sinking feeling that I really wasn't getting anywhere. I wanted to go back to Judy with some good news. Something to comfort here, to reassure her that we had time.

The scientist offered to try to help me if I got him under Kang Tao's merciful wings. Like fuck I was going to do anything like that. He was useless, and I was pretty sure of it. He offered me the blueprints of the relic. It wasn't much, it it was something. Maybe some kind of a genius out there could make something out of them and save me. Somehow.

Takemura showed up, I quietly chuckled at his attempt to play the bad cop. A bit of humor was what I really needed in that moment, even though the whole thing was looking rather grim. I left the boys to play and made my way outside, stumbling into a corner to puke. Some of it was blood. Not that surprising. A dying brain wasn't agreeing with the rest of the meatsuit. I couldn't exactly fault it for it.

The worst part of that night was still ahead of me. Going back to the city to tell Judy about what I had learned. I didn't even know how to do it, how to approach the subject... Oh hey, so I found the head scientist on the project, but he kinda didn't finish it, the version was new, I got the documentation, I'm dying, please don't leave me if I start spewing bullshit about nuking 'Saka?

I needed to think about it. I needed advice. I wanted an answer. One fucking answer. Something that would give me hope instead of digging my grave deeper... or should I say, pushing me into the incinerator while I was still breathing. I felt oddly close to death, in a morbid, inevitable manner.

Sure, I had my reason to live, the woman I'd never want to disappoint and wanted to have in my life forever, but what good was I to her if I turned into a terrorist? Apart from stealing fire trucks for her, I doubted I would be a positive influence on Judy's life if … the thing happened. I didn't even want to name it.

After my stomach settled enough, I decided to take Scorpion's bike to the Columbarium. If people could stand there, talking to their loved ones and deal with grief, if Barry's turtle was allowed to find his eternal rest there... Fuck, I was at a point where I would welcome the wisdom of Andrew the Turtle, if he had any to give about my predicament.

"V. I need you to do something for me," I saw Johnny at the gate, smoking in a manner that made me think he was nervous about something. Quite unlike him. I felt anxious by proxy.

"What is it, Johnny? And am I doing it for you or for myself?" I rolled my eyes and chuckled darkly at my own stupid joke. Except the joke could soon become reality.

"There's a box further up, I'd like to see, if you've got a few moments to spare," his tone was almost... gentle. Was that terrorist getting soft on my sorry, dying ass?

"How far up?" I asked, suspicious of his intentions.

"In the roofed part. At the end, if you go on ahead," he explained.

"I'll go there. But I got to talk to someone first," I sighed and got off the bike. It didn't take me a lot of time to find the spot where Jackie's ashes were placed.

"Friend of yours?" Johnny couldn't stay away for some reason. I realized, now that I had some understanding of the chip, that Jackie was Silverhand's first 'host', so to speak.

"One of yours as well. Jackie Welles," I let out a sigh and leaned against the wall of boxes with one hand. I didn't know if it was respectful or not, and I didn't give a damn at that moment, "He was there with me, at Konpeki. We watched Saburo get zeroed by his own spawn. When we escaped an Arasaka AV trying to gun us down by jumping from the fucking penthouse and sliding down some windows... fuck, you should have seen it. It was some Bushidō shit right there... When we landed in some maintenance room, it turned out the chip's integrity was compromised. And quickly fallin'. We called Evelyn, she told us to slot it. And Jackie did, without thinking too much," I explained, taking a deep breath as the events came back to me in a mental rewind.

"Where is this going, V?" Johnny asked, his arms crossed on his chest.

"He saved your life. He kept you in his head so you wouldn't fade away, a string of zeroes and ones, or whatever, blowing into the wind as the alloy becomes useless in the wrong temperature... He carried you through Konpeki Plaza, back to the Delamain, even that fucking 'borg tried to stop us, he didn't. Drones were chasing us, I shot'em down. And Jackie almost made it. Almost. He fucking protected you, before he gave the chip to me and left this fucking world. Least you can do is thank him," if I were speaking, it probably would have come out as a growl. I was shaking, I wanted to cry, everything was too much.

"I'd drink to him if I could. Believe me, V. Funny. It's why I asked that favour in the first place," he replied, looking oddly thoughtful. Or he was just doing the whole rocker-poet pose.

"He even gave his drink recipe to Claire at Afterlife, the bartender," I smiled briefly, remembering Jackie's suggestion, "Vodka on the rocks, some ginger beer, and lime... with a splash of love. You would have liked him, yeah..." I nodded slowly. I didn't even notice when I began to cry.

Tears were pouring down my cheek and dripping to the ground and onto my clothes. The night was cold and windy, but I only realized how bad the weather had been once I started crying and the tears made the gusts even more bone-chilling for some reason.

"Something tells me I would have, yeah. You attract two kinds of people, V. Either it's the worst scum, and then you get rid of them... or the best kind. And even if they're not good at first sight, you somehow bring out whatever is good in them. Sometimes it makes me sick, but I just prefer to think it's my charisma bleeding through."

For a moment I looked around, then pinched myself in the cheek. Was I dying? Was I dying? Was the Columbarium some kind of representation of a tunnel with the light in my mind? Why was he being nice to me? I gave myself a moment to process his words. There was some truth to them. Maybe we were starting to get along. Or maybe now that he knew that taking over was just a question of time, he just decided to be easy on me. I hoped it was the former, and that I still had time.

"I guess... Or maybe I just meet people who bring out the good in me. Can't be just my stellar personality," I quipped.

"We can agree it's a bit of both. I don't know about you, but back in my day, I used to wonder about it all. All the chrome. Becoming better, faster, stronger. Made me wonder how many people just became guinea pigs. Slaves, rattling their cages, waiting for the new firmware upgrade. Life for so many became only about style. Cred. Chrome. But in the end... What makes us human, V? Am I human to you? In any way?"

He was getting philosophical with me. Was he trying to distract me? Comfort me? Felt surreal, for sure, "Uhh... We talk. You tried to kill me, sometimes you help me, sometimes you're an asshole... I guess that's as human as it gets," I shrugged in my head.

"My point exactly. I make you feel things. Not like the Mox chick, for sure, but I know I do. Good, bad, doesn't matter. The feeling matters. Giving a damn matters. Makes me more alive than I thought I'd be in someone's head," he confessed. I guessed it was his way of saying thank you. Bastard wouldn't stoop down to using the word itself, even if his life depended on it.

"I guess that's a decent definition," I agreed, "Jackie was good people. He gave me hope when I thought my life was over. He had dreams, he made me feel like we could actually achieve something in this city. And he paid the highest price for thinking that. Guess I came here to rant to him. Ask him what he'd do."

"And? Any ideas?" Johnny wondered, glancing at Jackie's Columbarium box.

"Corny as it sounds, he'd tell me not to give up. He'd keep smiling and pat me on the shoulder, assure me I'll find a way. Probably help me waste gonks in search of answers like a true choom," I nodded slowly, "I really miss him. I wish... I wish he could enjoy his legend status for a bit longer. To see him bask in that glory, for at least a day."

"Well. Not everything's lost, V. He can't tell you that, but I will. Don't give up. Keep fighting," Johnny's voice reverberated in my head and I nodded.

"Alright. What's your stop?" I asked, wiping the tears from my eyes and sniffling.

"At the end, under the roof, up a few stairs," he reminded, "And V? I hate it when you get hormonal. It makes me crave ice-cream."

I scoffed and shook my head. I followed Johnny's directions. He almost jogged up the stairs and moved to touch one of the Columbarium rectangles. I decided to to give him some space, especially considering there was someone in a big, hooded coat standing in front of a nearby grave and I wasn't a savage.

I used my Kiroshis to zoom in on the name. Of course. Alt Cunningham. Never Fade Away. Wow, he had to use one of the Samurai song titles for her epitaph. This guy's ego was bigger than Arasaka Corporation assets, I could swear.

"I asked you about being human... because I wanted to come here," Johnny explained, his ganic hand tracing Alt's name slowly, "She never took my bullshit, even if she couldn't refuse my charm. Challenged me. Kept me tethered, somehow."

I recalled his memories. I didn't really see much beyond the attack on Arasaka Tower... and the night Alt got kidnapped and Johnny assembled a team to get her back, as soon as he was back on his feet. It begged the question. Had he done it all for his principles? Or was losing the woman he truly loved the final push he needed to start planting tactical nukes in places? I never thought of it that way... But when I saw him, so... vulnerable, leaning against Alt's grave, I started piecing it together.

Johnny wasn't a gentle man by nature, far from it. He fought, he rebelled, he played with fire. But it was indeed Alt that made him reckless. His usual ways of coping were pills and booze. His way of doing so in crisis was bringing down a whole tower belonging to the company who took his tether away from him, pushing him into that state, ironically enough. She made him human.

I remained silent for a moment, letting him talk to her in his thoughts, since I didn't really think he was the praying type. He must have had some insight into my thought process, because after a few more moments he finally spoke, "So now you understand. Good, because I didn't want to say it anyway. Rarely feel like it."

"It's okay. I get it," I nodded slowly. There was no need for many words on the subject.

"And I hate you for it. If you tell someone, anyone, I'm going to fucking kill you, V," it was back to serious asshole Johnny, it seemed. I wondered how it could even be possible for him to believe that no one else saw just how much Alt meant to him.

"Lips are sealed," I made the gesture of zipping up my mouth, he nodded and replied with a gesture of his own. A V to his eyes, then to mine. Watching me, he was. All the time, actually.

"Remember what I said, V. People matter. How they make you feel matters. Now look around, you're really missing something," he smirked and walked down the stairs, disappearing between the rows of dead people.

The figure in a dark, hooded coat turned around. Our eyes met and I blinked a few times, instantly recognizing those cute cheeks and the green and pink hair, half-tucked behind her ear. I rushed forward to hug her and close her in my arms.

"Jude! What are you doing here...?" I whispered out, rocking her in my embrace. Her make-up was running, she had been crying.

"V, you fucking gonk, stop following me," she mumbled against my shoulder, allowing herself a few sobs before she looked up. I knew she didn't mean it, she just had a particular way of hiding the reason for her emotion behind something trivial, at times. She took my hand without a word and led me to the grave. Evelyn Parker. She died valiantly fighting the system. That was something Judy would definitely write on a Columbarium display. I exhaled softly and hugged Judy again, "I'm so sorry..."

"I didn't know when you'd be back... I was hungover, I felt miserable... I just felt so fuckin' lonely. I... then I had the weirdest thought. I know you because of Ev. Because of that fuckin' heist. If it wasn't for her, doing everything she'd done, even the things she'd done that caused her death... if it wasn't for that, we wouldn't be where we are. It's so fucked up, V..." Judy shared her train of thought with me and I let her, simply keeping her close and safe, listening to every word.

The world was cruel like that. Punching us in the gut one moment to give us a glimmer of hope and joy in the other. Johnny was right. People, feelings. It kept us human in this chromed up world, were corps tried to make souls into numbers and graphs of efficiency.

"I got you," I said to Judy, placing a kiss on her head, "And you've got me. I'm not gonna let go," I said with confidence. She was my tether. I had to keep fighting.

"Let's go home, V. You can tell me what you found out and all," she pulled on my hand, leading me away from the Columbarium. I guess she wanted to just stop crying, and I was happy to help her with that. I just didn't have any comforting news.

"Well... I got the blueprints of that biochip. And that's about it," I decided to be upfront about it.

"Does that help your case at all?" she asked, holding out a bit more hope before deciding whether she was giving her make-up another trial by tears.

"I dunno yet. Maybe if someone who gets it all takes a look at it. But I still have avenues. It's not over yet," I sighed. Judy nodded. She probably cried enough already and was in a horrible state because of that, because it didn't phase her. Maybe I should have waited.

"As long as you're up, you can fight. Scraped knees or not," she shrugged. Almost sounded like something she had heard from one of her grandparents at some point, a small comforting phrase to push the shittiness of life away, "You got your wheels here?"

"Got an Aldecaldos bike... Long story, that," I cleared my throat, unsure whether I should go into details how Panam and I caused a blackout and then too many Aldecaldos died, and I got a bike for that.

"Wow, you're friends with the Nomads now, V? I mean... that's kinda cool," Judy joked, but I could still hear the pain in her cracking voice.

I thought about what Hellman said about my brain. What Johnny said about people. How Alt was his tether. It was my fight and I was in it. And I knew who I was, despite everything. I wasn't the only one deserving of being aware of that. I pulled on Judy's hand, signaling for her to stop. She looked over her shoulder at me with a confused frown.

My expression must have been serious or deathly pale or something. I began to shake, but I knew there was no going back from this.

"V, what's wrong, why did we stop?" Judy asked, looking at me with a squint. We were just outside the gates to the Columbarium.

I wrapped my arms around her and looked into her eyes. The streetlights gave off a dim glow, the cars on the street moved past, every person, every soul out there busy with their own little cosmos of worries, hopes, and dreams.

"V, why are we standing here? You're being a bit weird..." Judy sounded a bit uncertain, so instead of shaking and biting on my lip, I finally spoke.

"It's Valerie," I said, then shot her a brief smile. I may have as well told her I loved her.

Judy inhaled sharply, her eyes widened, I could see them glaze over with emotion. She hugged me tightly and whimpered, stopping herself from sobbing again. Her voice broke and instead of speaking, she wrapped her hands around the back of my neck and kissed me. No one's ever kissed me like that before. It was as if she tried to put everything that was unspoken between us into it. My guess was... it was her way of replying to my little confession.