Darius never really understood Japan, they were just a very odd people. 'That's what happens when you get nuked twice I guess.'

However as he chewed down on a tentacle, Darius finally understood at least one thing from Japan. Hentai tentacles are awesome!

"Are you… eating Dad?"

Slurping down the last tentacle, he turned his head towards his sister, and laughed at the look of disgust on her face.

"Well, have you ever heard the story of the boat whose pieces was slowly replaced over time? Well that's what this is like. Is it even really dad?"

The glare she sent him said more than words ever could. That didn't stop her from talking unfortunately.

"Why?!"

"Because kid… I eat people."

She paled, obviously disgusted with him. It was amusing, but they didn't have time for that.

"You'll catch flies like that Evelyn. Now, do you still have that runestone? Cause if you don't, we're gonna have a big problem."

That shook her out of her stupor, and she reached into her back pocket and pulled out the runestone. It was a simple thing, a smooth dark rock with a red rune in the shape of the skull. Edgy.

"Right here Hex, so you can calm your tits 'kay?"

"That's ironic coming from you."

She wasn't paying attention to him, focusing more on something over his shoulder.

"What? Is there something behind… me. Oh. Right."

She was focused on Melody's body, the one thing he hadn't touched from the "demons" they had killed. Looking back towards Evelyn, he saw tears fill her eyes. The events of the past few hours finally getting to her.

She needed comforting.

"Evelyn I… I'll wait by the edge of the crater while you… do your thing."

"That was not as smooth as I would expect from you."

"Well what was I supposed to do? Tell her everything is gonna be alright? That'd be both a lie, and unnecessary CASI."

"Still, I expected more from you User!"

Just before he could retort, Evelyn's heavy footfalls made him focus and turn to face her.

"Hex… we're gonna fuck this kid up."

Despite the situation, that got a laugh out of him.

"Let's go kill us a twelve-year-old."

…

Gerald loved his king, he really did. But sometimes the boy can be a bit… wearing on his patience.

"Gerald, are they here yet?"

"No my King, they are not here. It has been five minutes since the last time you've asked, if they get here, I will inform you immediately."

That seemed to dissatisfy Ogmar, as the boy sagged on his throne and sighed. That would not do.

"How about you make sure your traps are in place my liege?"

He just groaned and sank even further into his throne, clearly bored with the idea.

"I've done that like a bazillion times already Gerald!"

"You have, but this is serious my king. These ne'er do wells will be coming within the castle with lethal intent, we must be prepared for whatever may happen."

Ogmar snorted at that, "Please, the challenger may have killed some pawns, but they were weak anyway. You guys are waaay stronger than them. Besides, they'd have to go through the demons I made anyway."

"Pride comes before the fall my king, and I do not wish to see that happen my king. We've lost too many already."

That silenced the boy. Though it may have been the wrong thing to bring up. A quick glance at where Ogmar's eyes strayed to led to a moment of regret for the butler.

The painting the boy stared at wasn't an old one, in fact it was barely a year old. It showed the old king, his white mane held back in a ponytail. By his side stood Ogmar, doing his absolute best to stay still. It had been a wonderful day.

"My king… child, you must know that this is a serious situation. You are the last Akaz, and should you pass your bloodline will end, I cannot allow that. I swore an oath to your father that I would do everything in my power to protect you, and that is what I will do."

The exuberant energy his king once had was gone, in place a sadness and understanding that only a child would ever truly know.

"Yeah yeah, I know."

If only the twins were here, they knew how to cheer the boy up better than anyone. Well, he'd have to try at least.

"Come, we should grab something from the kitchens. It's always better to enjoy a show with some snacks."

…

The moment they were warped to a dead forest, Darius knew he was gonna be in for an agitating experience. Even more so when CASI started panicking about not being able to use Instant Transmission.

"-and we'll be trapped in this forest forever! User, are you even listening!?"

'Loud and clear unfortunately. I don't see what the big deal is, sure I can't just transmission to the kid and be done with it, but its not like the goal changes.'

"We don't know where to go! We've been wandering for hours!"

'We'll be fine. Now shush, Evelyn's trying to get my attention.'

"-ex! HEX!"

If there was a silver lining to this situation, it was that he wasn't the only one getting a smidge irritated.

"What?"

"I was just saying that I think we're lost."

"Knew I've seen that tree before."

She huffed and blew a strand of hair from her face.

"Do you even know where you're going?"

"What about this situation made you think I knew where to go?"

"You said to follow you!"

As she spoke, she flailed her arms in just about every direction. Her frustration must've been worse than his.

"At what point have I ever portrayed myself to be a good leader? On a side note, you should wear bras more often. All that movement must be quite the detriment while fighting."

That seemed to get her, as she stopped her useless flailing and covered her chest, face as red as a tomato.

"I swear to God I'm gonna wring your fucking neck."

"Ouch! Can you not say that name!"

That had been the twelve-year-old's voice. However, there was no one else besides them in the forest. So, where the hell was he?

"Where are you kid? I want to kick my shoe through your skull, but I can't exactly do that if you're not here."

Oh jeeze. Well I guess I may as well introduce you to, The First Trial!"

All of a sudden, the trees began moving into a tunnel shape, closing behind them and opening up a large clearing around them. The trees in front of them gave way to reveal a large gothic style castle in the distance, with pillars stretching higher than most skyscrapers. Its dark color went with the deep purple sky swimmingly, creating an ominous and foreboding atmosphere. In between them and the castle, stood the knight-like figure from earlier, in his hands a large polearm with a shiny golden axe at the end.

"The First Trial is a trial of strength! You two versus my rook and his army of demon knights! Let the fight, Begin!"

Just as the word begin was said, knights sprang up from the ground like a tree, a large range of medieval weaponry in their hands.

"Evelyn… this is so awesome."

"This is not awesome! We're surrounded!"

"Exactly! This is gonna be great!"

Not only would Darius be able to fight a literal army, but now he could try out the tentacle power he got.

Focusing on his biomancy, he started forming thin tentacles out of his back, thin enough to be more like tendrils than anything else. It was just as he was about to expose them, the knight spoke up.

"Antitezos, I must apologize for what has happened, and for what will happen. I had known your grandfather back in the day, and it is a shame that this is how his legacy will go."

'That sounds… important. Thoughts for later.'

"Then why fight? Why kill my family?!"

Evelyn was attempting to do a pacifist run it seems, not that it'll work.

"I do as my king asks, regardless of my feelings on the subject."

This was going nowhere. The demon knights were beginning to encircle them, like mice to cheese. 'Now all I have to do is play cat. That sounded horrible.'

"I agree User!"

'Shut up CASI.'

"So, what's your name Mr. ChivalryIsAboutToDie?"

'I'm on fire today.'

"My apologies, I should have done so sooner. My name is Derric. Now, let us begin our battle. Knights! Attack!"

At Derric's command, the knights began to charge forward. Their formation was surprisingly messy, most likely coming from poor biological programming. Too bad for them.

Eight black tendrils burst from his back, each one with a bladed bone at the end. The tendrils shot behind him, stabbing four knights in the head and chest, respectively. Just as he was he was about to pull them in for snacking, the bodies disintegrated into a black colored dust.

"Hex what the fuck!?"

"Don't judge me!"

The knights weren't all that strong, it only took a few blows to kill one. It was like the situation at the house, a battle quantity rather than quality. The main difference being that he couldn't eat these knights to recover any lost biomass, so that was gonna be a problem.

He quickly cut down another half dozen of them and turned around only to be met with an fist to the jaw, sending him into another wave of knights.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me right now."

Another group of knights attempted to rush him, weapons all aimed for vital areas.

"Battleborn! Clean house!"

It never got tiring to see a fist come out of nowhere and launch someone across an area. With a quick mental command, half of his tendril blades changed to large skeletal hands, and they began firing bolts of electricity to anything that close to him. Unfortunately, it was incredibly draining on his magic reserves.

"User, you need to kill the rook! The demons won't stop coming until you do!"

That was a fair assumption. Canceling the extra hands and returning them to blades, Darius quickly scanned the battlefield for the rook.

'Oh… that's not good.'

…

Fortunately, the demons had singled Hex out and all went for him. Unfortunately, the rook decided to pick up the slack.

Crash!

Evelyn landed in a tree, in the sense that she was halfway through the wood of the tree itself, and groaned. Even with her sacred gear active, she was getting her ass handed to her.

She summoned her wind magic, and burst forward. All she had to do was knock him off balance and-

"I do apologize for this miss. Even if your modesty could be better, you are still a lady. It is improper of me to strike you, I hope you can forgive me for this."

She wasn't sure if that was sexist or nice, all she knew was that he currently had his fist buried in her stomach and that she wanted to throw up.

"Do be still, I wish to make this as quick as possible."

He dropped her and began to raise his poleaxe. She flooded her system with lightning magic and watched with only a smidgen of satisfaction as the heavy metal armor conducted the magical lightning and cooked the person inside it.

"That is fair, I suppose."

Evelyn's eyes widened in shock as the rook just tanked her magic. So shocked she was, she didn't notice the armored boot spartan kick her in the chest and shove her back to the edge of the clearing. Even with the improved durability her gear granted her, she wouldn't be able to take too many more hits like that before it was game over.

She didn't have time to think anymore, as the rook was already charging her with his poleaxe raised over head. It was a good thing he was a rook, she mused as she dodged the overhead strike and rushed back to get some distance between the two, else she wouldn't have been able to dodge anywhere near as efficiently as she was now.

So of course, that was when he stabbed his poleaxe into the ground and cause four spectral knights with swords to appear from the ground. Just when she thought things couldn't get any worse, they began to light up on fire. Great.

These specters were faster than their master, but not by much. However, as she dodged between their blades, she realized that she wouldn't be able to keep it up as all four of them attacked her.

"This is the reason the last king picked me, my sacred gear Rhongomiant. Indeed, it is only right that I wield this mighty weapon in battle for my current king."

"I don't see how that matt- AAUUGH!"

One of the specters had gotten her in the leg, and once that had happened it really was game over. Each specter got a different limb, leaving her trapped and without a way out.

"In spite of our differences, I am impressed. For someone so young to have such power and skill, why it fills me with joy to see such strength. Do you have any last words that you would like to get off your chest? It is the least I can do."

She held her tongue, despite the situation she couldn't bring herself to hate him. She just stared him down and waited for her death. Or she would have, had Hex not spin-kicked Derric in the head, sending him back a few feet.

"I'd rather you didn't kill my companion at the moment."

A tendril shot towards a specter and pierced its chest, causing it to loosen its grip on its sword. Using her now free arm, she swiftly blew the other three back with a bit of wind magic.

"What took you so long asshole."

"Well excuse me for being caught up in a never-ending horde of demon knights, that tends to be a bit of a hassle. Don't worry about it now, I got Battleborn on it."

Before she could ask who Battleborn was, Derric made his presence known through a slam in the ground between Hex and her.

"I suppose it was a bit naïve of me to assume that no one else had the ability to summon. Yours is most impressive young man."

"Do you even know our names?"

The rook paused slightly, and even though he was covered head to toe in armor, it was easy to see his embarrassment at the situation.

"No, I do not. You will have to forgive me for that. What are your names, worthy foes?"

The battle had crawled to a stop as Derric awaited his answer, as all the specters were stationary, ready to pounce if commanded.

"My name Darius, and this shameful thing over here is Evelyn."

'That motherfucker.'

"It is my pleasure to meet you both. I see what you mean by shameful, young Darius. She wears no support for her bust, it is most disheartening, and distracting."

'Those motherfuckers!'

Hex gagged a bit, before complaining. "I'm not sure how to feel about you perving on my sister man."

"N-No! I would never do such a thing to such a lovely young woman! In fact, back in- oh, I see. You are attempting to distract me. Well no more, let us get this battle started."

And with that command, the specters rushed forward, swords in hand. She slashed her arm to the side, and the specters were blown to the left, ending up in a dogpile.

"So, Evelyn, I'm gonna assume that lightning didn't work. How about blunt force? If we hit him hard enough in the head, we'll be able to stun him and try to kill him then."

It was a solid plan, with only one problem.

"Physical strength isn't my strong suit, and I can't make a storm here, there's something interfering with my power."

Hex just sighed and removed the tattered remains of it jacket to reveal the only thing it had under that was a ripped up Five Finger Death Punch t-shirt. its arms then buffed up, and what looked like bone burst from the skin of its arms, hardening the limbs even further.

"Oh that is just agony."

Hex flew forward and left her behind to deal with the specters.

'Great.'

…

To be honest, he wasn't sure if the whole bone thing would work but seeing the jagged spikes of it that was now covering his arm, Darius couldn't help but grin a bit. It was awesome.

"Oh that is just agony."

It still hurt like hell though, but what did he expect? It was literally just bones ripping through his skin.

Surging forward, he decked the rook in the face, and watched with pride as Derric was sent flying backwards. What wasn't as satisfying was watching the rook shake it off and rush him with the poleaxe. He retracted his tendrils in order to conserve biomass in case the axe hit one and pushed Derric back with some force magic. If things kept going at this pace, Darius wouldn't be able to kill him before he ran out of energy.

'Any ideas CASI? I'm open to suggestions.'

"Well User, if you used your tendrils and morphed them into arms similar to your own, you should be able to stun him for a sufficient amount of time. Then, you can force him helmet off and consume his head!"

'CASI you beautiful lady who lives in my head.'

"T-Thank you User! It's what I do!"

He'd have to wait until he was closer. As it stood, he couldn't get close enough without that poleaxe getting in the way. All he'd have to do is-

"OH CRAP MY KIDNEY!"

Derrics poleaxe had gotten him in his side, and now he had a cut in the side of his torso as thick as a baseball.

Another application of force magic and a quick dash backwards left Darius a dozen feet away from the rook, cradling the side of his torso.

'Ah my organs! Stay in there, daddy needs you!'

Just as Derric was about to get back up and charge, a blast of lightning struck him and made him get on a knee.

"Finished off those specters, also, really Hex? He hit you with that thing?"

"Shut up, these arms are heavier than I'm used to. Threw off my balance, that's all."

Evelyn snorted before sobering up and looking towards him with mild concern.

"You gonna be okay?"

Darius just grunted, and used his rib bones to grow a form of seal to keep his blood and organs in while his body healed.

"I'll be fine, now I need you to help me get up close. We don't have much time before Battleborn is overwhelmed. Once I get close to him, I need you to shock him again."

She nodded, and he leaped forward to the already recovered rook. Dodging a swing from his left, Darius weaved between his slashes. Now all he had to do was-

A fist grabbed him by the throat and began to squeeze. His vision began to blur, and his arms began to feel even heavier. Evelyn wouldn't be able to shoot Derric if he were trapped like this. That left only one option.

Forming a tendril behind him and shaping it into a bone arm, he jammed it into the rook's head, causing him to let Darius. He gasped and quickly yelled "DO IT NOW!" to Evelyn, and she did not disappoint.

Shoving both her hands forward an massive bolt of lightning shot forward and struck the rook, making him convulse slightly and drop the poleaxe on the ground. This was it.

Forming three more arm tendrils, Darius began to wail on him. Hit after hit, all of them directly on his skull. Once he was satisfied, he gripped the helmet and ripped it off the rooks head, revealing dirty blond hair and an absolutely messed up face.

Glancing to the side, he used a tendril to bring the poleaxe to his waiting hands. Gripping the shaft, Darius resisted the "That's what she said" joke and swung, separating head from body.

It was finally over.

…

This was both really annoying, and really satisfying to write. On the one hand, beginning it was a bitch, on the other, once the fighting began it felt great. That's what took this one a bit longer to make. Sorry about that.

On a curiosity note, I wanna know what your favorite part of the story is so far. Whether it be the comedy, characters, or even a specific scene, I'd like to know.

This has been a brainstorm by a Decent Hunter, thanks for tuning in.