Today was another day at at the Luba household, but it was a particularly special day as shown by Luba hectically packing a duffel bag in preparation for… something.
"Luba, I'm pretty sure you don't need ALL of that stuff." Lucy said to her tall friend.
The goth was currently watching Luba furiously stuffing a duffel bag with various board games, books, toys and the occasional pair of clean underwear.
"This is Solis and Venus we're talking about, I gotta pack to impress." Luba said before pulling out a pair of comically large glasses and trying them on. "Hey Luce, do you think they'll like this?"
"Lubs, I love ya, but I don't think two goddesses thousands of years older than you, me or any of our friends would find those glasses amusing." Lucy said as she took the glasses off of Luba and threw them aside.
"No matter! I'll just take a clean shirt instead." Luba said as she grabbed another pair from her clothes drawer.
"Aren't you gonna take some tissues too?" Lucy joked. "I know how you are around big women Lubs, and that Venus sure has a lot of meat on her bones, that's for sure."
"Shut uuuuuuup Luce!!!" Luba said as she playfully rocked Lucy back and forth.
"I just don't want you releasing a mountain of nose blood before you even get a chance to do what you wanted." Lucy said with a smirk. "Whatever that may be."
"Oh yeah! I haven't told you have I?" Luba said excitedly before zipping up her bag. "I'm gonna mend Solis and Venus's relationship!"
The smirk on Lucy's face instantly disappeared as she looked at Luba, a slightly concerned look on her face mostly being blocked by the jet black hair covering her eyes.
"Luba… are you sure that's the best idea?" Lucy asked. "Because last I checked, don't they really hate one another?"
"Yeah… I know that they have a bit of history with one another…" Luba started to say.
"A bit is a massive understatement." Lucy interrupted.
"But I do believe that with a little talking and just a little push from yours truly, I believe that I can be responsible for the birth of something beautiful." Luba explained cheerfully.
All Lucy could do was sigh in exasperation in response to her friend.
"Just promise me that you'll be okay, and that if things get hairy, you'll come back here immediately." Lucy said, acting no different from a stern parent. "Got it?"
"Got it!" Luba said as grabbed her bag and threw it over her shoulder, immediately reeling back as she did not expect it to be as heavy as it was. "Geez… this thing's really hurting my back."
"Then take it off." Lucy said as she took the bag off of her tall friend's back. "You don't need it anyway, you've got everything you need in that big ol heart of yours."
"This coming from the queen of hating cheesy things? Color me surprised!" Luba said, joking around.
"You know what I mean you dork." Lucy said as she gave Luba a friendly little squeeze on her tush.
A few minutes of friendly banter later and Luba finally opened a dimensional portal. She waved to her goth bestie as she jumped into the portal, on a one way trip towards the dimension where Solis and Venus made their home.
Thoughts raced through Luba's head as she traversed through the dimensional plane. Thoughts like "will this work?", "will I be okay?" and "was Lucy right in saying that I need tissues for nosebleeds?" came to the forefront of the tall woman's mind.
Before long, she had reached the end of her journey and landed in Solis and Venus's universe. She landed perfectly on her feet in the outskirts of the Royal Woods of this universe, a much more graceful landing in contrast to the first time she had visited.
"Ahh… I almost forgot how technologically advanced this place looked." Luba said as she laid down on a patch of grass right outside of the city, looking up at the sky. "Now… I wonder which goddess will notice my presence first?"
Immediately after she got her last word out, Luba felt a large object fall onto her chest, knocking out most of the wind from the tall woman.
"Hello Luba. It is a pleasure to meet you." Venus said as she sat upon Luba's chest.
"Oh… hello Venus." Luba said raspily as she still was recovering from the impact. "I'm doing fine, but why did you suddenly come from nowhere and use my chest as a bench?"
"Is this not how people greet each other in your universe?" Venus asked. "I have seen your friend Lucy do this to you many times and your face was always one of great joy."
"It's definitely Lucy's favorite way to greet me and it does bring me great joy." Luba said. "But you should really greet me like a regular person.
"I see." Venus said while getting her giant rear off of Luba and helping her up off of the ground. "I will keep that in mind for the future."
"So, how's it hanging, Venus?" Luba asked the purple haired goddess. "That means how are you."
"Yes, I am aware of the meaning of that phrase thanks to my loving companion." Venus explained. "I myself am doing just fine thank you for asking. I came here just as you requested."
"Great!" Luba exclaimed. "Now all we need to do is wait for her to arrive as well and we'll be all good to go!"
Venus tilted her head to the side in confusion. "Her? Whoever may you be talking about?"
"VEEEEEEEEEEEENUUUUUUUSSSS!!!"
A split second of a facial expression screaming "not this shit again" appeared on Venus's face before she received a swift roundhouse kick to the face and landed face first onto the ground not far away. Luba suddenly looked back at Venus and then turned towards the being who had delivered said kick.
"What do you think you're doing to Luba you bitch? You were probably gonna Corrupt her, weren't you?!" Solis yelled at her purple haired opponent.
"Solis!" Luba yelled with annoyance in her voice. "Why did you do that?!"
"Um, helloooooo? I hate her guts?" Solis responded. "Plus she was trying to corrupt you, so you should really be thanking me right now."
"I was planning to do no such thing, you pint sized dumbass." Venus said as she finally got up off of the ground.
"You shut the hell up bitch!! Your lies won't work on me!" Solis shouted.
"Solis. She's telling the truth." Luba said to the horned goddess. "She wasn't trying to Corrupt me or manipulate me or anything like that."
"You of all people should know that if I wanted to corrupt someone like Luba, I would have done it the first time I met her." Venus said while she walked back towards the other two. "Honestly… it seems hanging out with your so-called husband has only made you dumber than before."
"WHY YOU..." Solis yelled as she charged towards Venus.
Before the two could clash fists once again, Luba stepped in between the two goddesses, their fists being mere inches away from the green clad woman.
"Stop it you two. I didn't call you both here to watch you try and murder each other again." Luba said sternly. "Quite the opposite actually."
"Explain." Venus demanded.
"Yeah! Explain why you stopped me from slicing this bitch's head off for insulting my husband!" Solis yelled.
"Please. You make it seem like you could, you cockroach." Venus scoffed.
"Stop this! Both of you!" Luba yelled, making the two goddesses go quiet. "Now as I was saying before I got so rudely interrupted, I called you both here for a reason. To hang out."
"Hang… out?" The two goddesses said in unison before pointing at one another. "With HER of all people?!"
Luba nodded as she dragged the two goddesses in for a big group hug.
"No way." Venus said sternly, shoving her way out of the hug.
"What's the matter Venus? I thought you wanted to spend more time with me?" Luba asked, frowning.
"Yes. I did say that, and I still hold myself to what I said." Venus said. "But that is an impossibility when that filthy creature is present."
"The feeling's mutual Venus." Solis said with visible veins popping out of her head. "The mere thought of being near you and not trying to kill you is enough to make me vomit. In fact, excuse me for a minute, Luba."
Luba watched as Solis walked a couple of meters away, and then reeled back in disgust when she saw Solis violently vomit. Funnily enough, Solis's barf was rainbow colored like her dress and while it looked cute, it was anything but, as shown when Luba saw it steam and melt into the ground like some sort of acid.
"Alright… just had to get that outta my system." Solis said, wiping off some of the barf spittle still on her mouth. "But yeah, there's no way I'm gonna spend a day with that fatty!"
"Resorting to such childish insults are we now Solis?" Venus said snarkily. "You're just jealous that you have to use magic to make your posterior as big as mine."
"At least I'm able to fit through doorways." Solis said with a smug expression. "And what's wrong with using magic to make my butt bigger?!"
Solis raised her right hand in preparation to make her derrière larger with her magical abilities, only for Luba to suddenly grab her hand.
"Please don't Solis. At least not right now." Luba asked the goddess of light.
"Humph… fine." Soils said huffing as she pulled her arm out of Luba's grip.
"Now then. I know that both of you have had your difficulties in the past with one another." Luba started to say.
"That's putting it extremely lightly." Solis interrupted.
"But can't you guys put aside your differences just to hang out with me for a few hours?" Luba finished saying, now with puppy dog eyes. "Pretty please? With the souls of the innocent sprinkled on top?"
Venus and Solis thought silently about Luba's proposal, looking at the ground, then towards one another, then back towards Luba for what seemed to be an eternity.
"Well…" Solis started to say, breaking the silence. "I do like sprinkles."
"And I do rather enjoy taking the lives of the innocent." Venus added on.
Luba's face suddenly turned to one of utter glee and pure happiness. "Does this mean what I think it means?!"
"Fine. I will endure being around Solis." Venus said. "But only for two human hours. Any longer and I'll run the risk of suffering brain damage just by being in her presence."
"And I'll stand hanging out around Venus." Solis said, before grabbing Luba by the shirt collar and pulling the tall woman down to her height level. "But only because you asked nicely!"
"Got it Sols…" Luba said in response before the horned woman released her grip.
"Now then Luba, what plans have you had in mind for the… three of us?" Venus asked.
Luba's eyes suddenly started to dart back and forth with slight nervousness.
"I uh… I don't actually know since Lucy told me to leave all the stuff I had planned at home." The tall woman admitted. "Part of me didn't even think I was gonna get this far."
"Then may I make a suggestion?" Venus asked in an uncharacteristically polite tone of voice.
"Oh? Go for it Venus!" Luba said, nuzzling Solis who was now perched on Luba's back in a piggyback position.
"Well a new restaurant opened up not too long ago and I heard from my boyfriend that their food is quite delectable, so I was wondering if we could "hang out" there." Venus said.
"Earth does have surprisingly good food I've noticed." Solis added on.
"Sounds like a great plan Veen! I am getting a bit hungry right now anyways." Luba exclaimed.
"Veen? You do know my name is Venus right Luba?" Venus asked with a perplexed expression.
"It's a nickname for you Venus. Like how I call Solis Sols sometimes?" Luba explained. "If you don't like it, I could always just call you Venus instead."
"Do friends call each other by nicknames often?" Venus asked.
"Not all the time, but it's common for friends to have nicknames for one another." Luba explained.
"I see." Venus said looking at Luba closely as Solis softly hisses off to the side. "Then yes, you may call me Veen."
"Luuuubaaaaaa… enough with the nicknames for the she-devil! I'm hungryyyyyy!!" Solis whined as she got off of Luba's back and started to pull on Luba's arm like a little kid.
"Ow ow ow! That hurts Solis!" Luba said as she winced in pain. "Fine we'll start walking!"
Luba and Solis began to make their way towards the restaurant, with Venus slowly walking behind, muttering to herself how incompetent she found Solis. Not too long after the trip began walking did Luba realize that trying to keep two goddesses from snapping at one another is a LOT harder than she initially thought.
"Geez… keeping these two from even trying to fight with one another is a struggle and a half." Luba said in her inner monologue.
The tall woman was forced to walk in between the two goddesses at all times to stop them from fighting each other. While it may have worked on the physical side, it didn't stop the two from flinging verbal assaults at one another.
"Look at you, wearing pants. Inconveniencing yourself for no reason." Solis said from the left side of Luba to Venus as she stuck out her tongue.
"At least I am actually wearing something that covers my bottom half. Knowing you, you probably don't have on any underwear under that dress." Venus scoffed in response.
"Shut up! You don't wear underwear either! Don't get on my case about something like that!" Solis yelled.
"I feel like I'm babysitting two children right now." Luba sighed in her inner monologue. "Two twenty-five thousand year old children that could kill me at any time."
After what seemed to be an eternity (but in reality was only around fifteen or so minutes) the trio finally made it to the restaurant. They went inside of the restaurant as Luba went towards the main counter.
"I'd like to reserve three seats at the counter in front of the window." Luba asked the man behind the register.
"Yes that can be arranged mademoiselle." The man at the register said in response.
Suddenly, one of the young chefs turned towards Luba.
"Um excuse me. Miss? Is the large woman with you?" The chef asked.
"That depends. Does she have long purple hair and a large ass?" Luba asked.
"Well… yes. And she's currently over by the windows trying to stab a small yellow haired girl with a dress with a plastic knife." The chef said.
"Then yes, she is in fact mine." Luba said with a slightly embarrassed tone of voice. "Don't worry, I'll take care of it."
"Thank you." The chef said as he walked back to the kitchen, but not before he uttered a soft "dammit!" under his breath, loud enough for Luba to hear.
"She has a boyfriend you know!" Luba yelled at the chef before going to separate Solis and Venus once again.
After a couple minutes of struggling and a boatload of judging and concerned stares from the other occupants inside of the restaurant, Luba finally got the two goddesses comfortably seated.
"Did you two order what you both wanted?" Luba asked, sitting on a stool by the front window of the restaurant.
"Yep! I ordered the Turduckin!" Solis excitedly exclaimed, also sitting on a stool. "It's a Turkey, it's a Duck and it's a Chicken all rolled into one scrumptious meal…"
Venus got Luba's attention while Solis was busy drooling over her order.
"I also ordered what I found most delectable Luba." Venus asked as Luba turned her head to face her. "But was it really necessary for me to sit on three stools all at once?"
"Well you kinda… broke the stools whenever you sat on just one so…" Luba shrugged. "On the plus side, you don't have to sit on the floor while you eat!"
"Do friends compensate for one another's needs often?" Venus asked.
"Yep! That's one of the cardinal rules of being friends!" Luba exclaimed. "Friends are always there to try and make each other's lives easier."
"That's exactly why I go out of my way to try and make your life as difficult as possible whenever I get the chance Venus." Solis snarked.
"Well I'm not trying to become friends with you now am I? Bitch." Venus snarked back.
Before the two could engage in yet another fight, the waiter arrived at the counter with the food in hand.
"For the young miss, our finest Turduckin." The waiter said, putting the plate down in front of Solis.
"Oooh! It looks even tastier up close!" Solis said as she immediately dug into the food, not even bothering to pick up a knife or fork.
"And for the large lass, three of our freshest pineapples." The waiter said as he put the plate of uncut pineapples down in front of Venus.
"Your services are no longer required. Now get lost. Your disgusting presence is ruining my meal." Venus said harshly.
"You didn't have to make it so personal…" The waiter sadly said to himself as he headed back to the kitchen.
"Venus… how are you gonna eat those pineapples without cutting them up?" Luba asked the purple haired goddess.
"It's simple really." Venus said, picking up one of the pineapples from it's top.
Luba watched in stunned (and slightly frightened) silence as Venus opened her mouth wide, revealing three more rows of deadly sharp teeth behind her regular "human" teeth. She then shoved the entire pineapple in her mouth, shredding and devouring it until only the top stump remained.
"That's how." Venus said. "Are you not impressed by it, Luba?"
"That's… definitely a word I'd use to describe how I feel." Luba said in disbelief at what she just witnessed. "I do have to say, I definitely was not expecting that."
"Yeah I have to say I did not expect that in the slightest." Solis said. "Now you're even more of a hideous abomination than I initially thought!"
Venus was about to respond with another snarky reply, but opted to take a different approach this time. Something that'll really get underneath Solis's skin.
"Hey Solis, how does that avian taste?" Venus asked, much to Luba's shock.
"It tastes great!" Solis replied. "About as good as I did when I kicked you in the face earlier today."
"Well that is definitely good to hear, because that pineapple tasted nice and refreshing." Venus said. "The same way I felt after murdering your entire race."
In an instant, the entire restaurant went deathly quiet as they stared at the trio, anxiously waiting for something to happen. Luba saw Solis get up and silently start walking towards her and Venus.
"N-Now… wai-"
Before Luba could even get out another word, Solis grabbed her and threw Luba through the window and onto the street. As Luba was tumbling across the ground, she could tell just by the way she got grabbed and was tossed aside so effortlessly, that Solis was beyond the point of being reasoned with.
"I just hope those two don't get too destructive…" Luba said as she got up from off the ground.
Suddenly, a huge explosion came from inside of the restaurant, destroying the entire building in an instant. Blood, dozens of severed body parts and viscera scattered into the air like some sort of inhumane fireworks. The force managed to send Luba tumbling back even further once again.
"I really need to learn not to open my mouth sometimes…" Luba thought inside her head.
Luba saw two figures fly into the hair from out of the dense smoke covering the destroyed restaurant. One of the figures was Venus and hot on her trail was Solis, now red in the face with pure anger and pissed off beyond belief.
"VENUS! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!" Solis said as she threw a brightly yellow colored energy blast at the purple haired goddess.
Venus swiftly dodged with grace as the blast casually destroyed an entire city block, sending people running for their lives.
"Please. You've been saying that for the past twenty-five thousand years and you've never even come close." Venus said as she charged her hand with purple colored energy. "Your very existence is a mistake. You should've died with the rest of your worthless race!!"
Venus jerked her arm back and shot a powerful wave of energy at Solis, only for Solis to narrowly dodge it. The blast did however, hit an orphanage and destroyed it along with a good portion of the ground both below and around it.
Luba watched in horrified awe at the two super powered beings going at it with one another, being accompanied by the sounds of people frantically running, fearing for their lives and crying, hoping that the carnage would end soon.
In mere minutes, Royal Woods was turned into a fiery hellscape as buildings crumbled and fell across the entire town and the ground itself betraying those who stood upon it. All of this being caused by the squabble of two divine forces. Luba had heard of the devastatingly powerful brawls that Solis and Venus had undertaken, but now that she bore witness to one of them in person, the only thing on the tall woman's mind now was escape.
"I'm so stupid! I should've listened to Lucy while I had the chance!" Luba said as she ran through the destroyed Royal Woods, avoiding large sinkholes and jumping over the corpses of those less fortunate than her.
She could still faintly hear the battle between Solis and Venus as she frantically tapped her watch and opened a portal back to her dimension.
"Yes! Now I can finally go ho-"
The tall woman's sentence was swiftly interrupted as she lowered her guard for a split second and was hit and sent flying into a nearby building by a stray energy blast with both Solis and Venus's energies. Luba fell to the ground, unable to do anything but crawl, as she felt an unimaginably painful sensation flow throughout her entire body, especially her back.
"Am I… gonna… die…?" Luba weakly said in her head, being unable to even talk in her current state as she continued to crawl ever so slowly towards the dimensional portal.
Panic and worry had already set in as Luba could feel the tremors and extremely violent vibrations caused by explosions both nearby and far away from her current position.
Eventually Luba did manage to finally and miraculously make it to the portal. With extremely ripped, tattered and bloody clothes, as well as being on Death's Door, Luba silently bid farewell as she fell into the dimensional plane.
"At least… I listened… to one thing… Lucy told me…" Luba weakly said in her head as finally she lost consciousness.
The orange haired woman was getting ready for another day at her job, putting on her clothes and glasses as she was about to head out of her front door.
"Let's hope today'll be a more eventful day than yesterday." The woman said to herself as she took one last look at herself in the mirror. "Bah… who am I kidding? Nothing interesting happens in this boring old to-"
The woman suddenly heard a loud splashing noise coming from her backyard and jumped a bit from sheer surprise.
"Damn those little kids. They probably crashed their toy airplane in my pool again." The woman said, heading to her backyard.
The woman opened her back door to see a faint figure, floating on top of the water.
"...Well that's definitely not a toy airplane." The orange haired woman said as she walked towards her pool.
The woman almost fell to the ground in pure surprise as she looked at what, or rather who, fell into her pool. It was a very tall woman with a partially burnt neon green skirt. She wore a light purple jacket that was almost entirely burnt and neon green undershirt that was partially burnt as well. Her eyes were closed as she floated unconsciously in the pool, earrings strangely unharmed and the pool water beneath her turning red, most likely from her own blood.
"I… I remember her!" The woman exclaimed to herself in shock. "She's the cute woman that helped with my books on the street!"
The orange haired woman held out her hand and placed it on the chest of the woman in the pool, checking for a heartbeat. After a moment of worried searching, she breathed a momentary sigh of relief as she felt her slow and weak, but obviously present heartbeat.
"Just what the hell happened to you…?"