CHAPTER 8: MOON READER
Itachi is incredibly patient and unfailingly polite, and they settle into a routine at the cave. It's almost normal: Sakura sets traps for small game, and Itachi cooks the meat over a fire he starts with a fireball jutsu. There's a steam not far away, and a tiny village that's close enough for essentials, but still far away enough for comfort.
They alternate between chakra control and history lessons. Chakra control is about walking across the lake and learning to suppress her chakra, while history lessons is where Itachi pulls Sakura into his memories, showing her around this new world of truth: the Uchiha, Danzo, and even Sasuke as a young child, sparring with Itachi until the golden sun sets around them. Itachi tells her about how he joined the Akatsuki, how he defected before going after Danzo.
"Do you still believe in the village?" Sakura asks him, one day.
Itachi takes his time contemplating the answer. "I want to," he says finally, "but only because it's supposed to protect the most vulnerable. Without strong villages, orphans and civilians would be left to fend for themselves. There would be more death and suffering."
She remembers his memory - a small boy on the battlefield, surrounded by broken bodies and blood-stained earth. "It's a broken village when someone like Danzo can become Hokage," Sakura counters swiftly.
"It's not perfect," Itachi says. "But it's still the best I can believe in."
Sakura thought she understood pain before; no. This is what pain really is. She tries not to let her mind linger too much on it, because her attention is better focused on learning and practicing and putting one foot ahead of the other.
The first time Sakura ventures into the village, she buys out the entire supply store's bandages for Itachi and throws in a box of hair dye.
At the stream, alone, she combs the dye in with her fingers: this is partly a tribute to the only boy she has ever loved, partly as goodbye to whatever remained of the Sakura from before.
The reflection that gazes back at her is all black hair, bloodless skin, and pale green eyes. It's a radical metamorphosis, but somehow it feels more like a homecoming. Maybe this is who she's always been, trapped underneath blushing colours and a weak resolve. Sakura likes who she sees.
On their rest days when Itachi just sleeps, never quiet and always troubled, Sakura pours over the few medical scrolls she has with her, ignoring the lethargy in her limbs and the throbbing behind her eyes.
At first, she practices on animals she stumbles across in the forest. Squirrels in the morning, frogs at night. Itachi forbids her to practice on crows. It's a slow, heartbreaking progress because the animals keep dying, fading away in her sweaty palms that glow a weak green.
"It's okay to cry," Itachi reminds her gently. She kicks at him, getting him as far away as possible because thinking about Itachi and his past and their situation just makes her cry harder and frankly, she's tired of crying. She cries anyway.
Three weeks after Sakura first finds out the truth, they move to a different base, closer to Wind's borders. She can tell from the way the grass becomes sparser and how the wind feels sharper against skin. From here, they move every month, just in case. It's always a cave, and it's always close to a stream. Sakura likes the ones that are near small villages, because it means she can practice her chakra control through a henge transformation and she can buy fresh produce, like vegetables and fruit. The first few times, Sakura brings home pears.
"Do they sell anything...sweeter?" Itachi had asked after the first few times, making a face. "Why are these so tasteless?
"Sasuke hated sweet things. I'll get apples next time," she replied. It was also the first time in a long time she had laughed and felt it in her heart, instead of just hearing it in her ears.
Four months and countless new hideouts later, Sakura saves her first frog. The tumor hovers between her glowing palms, suspended in a perfect orb. She has never liked the colour green so much.
"Look," she says, voice shrill and bright. "Look!"
"It was only a matter of time," Itachi replies proudly.
"Now you," she says, letting the frog hop away into the darkness as she pats the ground next to her.
"Err," Itachi starts.
"Are you scared of me?"
"I'm more complicated than an amphibian," he replies, almost indignantly.
Sakura just shakes her head and stands behind him, concentrating the chakra in her palms and running it through his body. There's something wrong with the way his lungs feel, but at least the wound at his side has healed almost perfectly. She works on smoothing out the scar, because there's not much else she can do. She can't create new cells or infuse life force into him. Her level of medical ninjutsu is elementary at least, but still, she hopes it counts for something.
Itachi will live, Sakura thinks fiercely, pushing her chakra into Itachi's body. He has to.
"Thank you, Sakura. My brother was lucky to have you as a friend."
"He's luckier to have you as a brother."
Itachi's breath hitches as he inhales, but says nothing. The silence that settles around them is comfortable.
More time passes, and Sakura's hair grows longer. She buys more dye. She starts calling Itachi nii-san.
Once, Sakura is sure she hears Naruto's voice and enthusiastic laughter ringing out, but that's impossible. She tells Itachi they should find another spot, just to be sure, and that night, she dreams of Naruto. In it, he's content, busy with his training and growing stronger and stronger, and she wakes up with a lighter heart.
In the spring, as the tiny flowers native only to Wind flourish around them, her genjutsu training begins.
"Genjutsu is all about chakra control," Itachi explains. "The user controls the chakra flow of a target's system, which affects their five senses. From here, we create illusions or trick the body into experiencing physical pain. It's easier for those with the Sharingan, but it's not impossible for those without to master it."
Sakura nods. "What kind of genjutsu can you do?"
"There's two I use most - a generic one where I use a person's own fears against them. In this case, the person is actually controlling the illusion with their fears. That's the one I used on you when we first met. I also have Tsukuyomi, which allows me to alter the perception of time. In this, I'm in control of what you experience."
"That's the one you used on Sasuke after the massacre."
"It was."
"I want to experience it."
A harsh pause.
"Sakura-" Itachi says sharply.
"Learning through experience is the best way to improve," she retorts. "In the Academy, I was great with theory and books. Look where that got me: hiding out in a cave, training with a missing-nin, working towards killing the Hokage."
"And losing her mind by asking to be put under Tsukuyomi."
"A necessary sacrifice," she replies fiercely. "You can control what I experience in Tsukuyomi, right? Don't make it so terrible, then."
"I should put you under genjutsu now so I can change your mind," he mutters with a sigh.
"As long as it's Tsukuyomi," Sakura says with the sweetest smile she can muster.
Itachi's dark eyes flash red in response, tomoe melting together into three sharpened edges. The cave around her dissolves, and she's transported to the middle of a forest, amidst a roaring fire. Flames dance on and around the trees and their leaves, consuming the small white flowers in a crimson haze. Everything as far as her eyes can see are burning. The world is reduced to red and black; there's nowhere to run to, no air left to breathe.
The first spark that lands on her skin makes her gasp, and it quickly grows all over her body, blistering skin and searing raw flesh. Her lungs are filled with the putrid smoke of her own burning body, and still that is not enough oxygen to breathe in through all the smoke. Sakura collapses onto her knees.
For five days and five nights, her body burns. She can't seem to die, so she just lies on the ashen forest floor, staring up at the dark sky. This is an actual hell, she thinks with grudging amazement.
When she finally comes to, she's on her back, cloak draped over her like a blanket. The air is sweet and cold; there is no more fire. Itachi's face looms over her, worry etched in his features. "Thanks for not choosing water," she gasps, before allowing the darkness to pull her back under.
When she finally regains consciousness, the cave is empty. She finds Itachi by the bubbling stream, staring deep into its crystal waters.
"How long was I out for?"
He looks up quickly, Sharingan flickering on as he scans her from head to toe. "Three days. Your chakra pathways are flowing properly now."
"How long did you use Tsukuyomi for?"
"Two seconds."
She drops to sit next to him, and dips her feet into the water. "Wow."
"I've never heard anyone describe Tsukuyomi like that before. Are you okay?"
Sakura looks away from the water, breathing still uneven, as though the fire had followed her out, blurring that fine line between illusion and reality. Maybe that's a good thing, because a surge of determination rises within, consuming heart and mind and soul.
Her mouth presses itself into a hard smile. "Let's begin."
It's harder to practice genjutsu on a genjutsu master than she expects.
The Sharingan naturally repels all basic genjutsu she tries to cast on Itachi, which means she only has two chances a day before her chakra is spent. Summer comes, and goes.
It's autumn when she finally catches Itachi in some form of illusion, and it's one where she allows the target's worst nightmares to haunt him. For Itachi, the massacre happens all over again.
Sakura sees it all as well: the bright glint of his blade, the pleading screams, the sobs of a young Sasuke. This is a memory Itachi never dragged her into.
"I didn't know genjutsu can affect its caster as well," Sakura says, when it's finally over. They're both on the floor, on their knees, panting.
"You need to distance yourself emotionally from it," Itachi replies.
"A bit hard to do, when this is my life goal and all," she says.
Itachi actually laughs, albeit weakly.
"I want to try something different," Sakura says, rising to her feet slowly. "Instead of pain, I want to trap a person in happiness. It'll be more pleasant for the both of us."
"Interesting," he says, still with a small smile on his face. "Let's try that."
In the mornings and afternoons, they work on perfecting Sakura's new genjutsu. In the evenings, she sits with her palms pressing into Itachi's back, trying to infuse healing chakra into his lungs. After that, she moves her palms over his eyes and her own.
Winter arrives, then spring again. Sakura turns another year older.
Staring into the Sharingan doesn't even scare her anymore, not until Itachi tells her that the next part of their training will begin.
In his hand, there is a jar. In the jar, there are two red eyes. The curls of six ink-black tomoe stare back at her.
She takes an involuntary step back, fighting back the urge to knock the glass on the floor.
"What-"
"Danzo stole Sasuke's eyes. I might not have killed him, but at least I got these back."
"They're...They're Sasuke's eyes." The nausea builds.
"Danzo amassed a collection after the massacre. He must have gotten to Sasuke's body after his death. As you know, he has many different Sharingan embedded in his body, enhancing his power. Non-Uchiha can wield the power of the Sharingan, too," he says quietly.
Sakura forces herself to calm down by taking full, deep breaths. Her mind is spiraling in dizzying directions; she doesn't like where any of it takes her. "I can't-"
"You know medical ninjutsu," Itachi says soothingly. "You can."
She can, because she has no other choice. Sacrifice, she thinks, as her palms glow an ethereal green.
And she does.