/ to anyone who's left a nice comment/review — thanks so much, I really appreciate it. :)

"DO NOT FRET AND DRY YOUR TEARS, FOR THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS RETURNED!"

The proclamation rang out strong and clear, and a chorus of friendly greetings rose up in reply… only to taper out when everyone in the room saw your state. Well — Sans and Alphys, rather; Undyne made her distress immediately clear.

"Crane?! What happened to you? Did you fall in a lake or something?" She had herself twisted on the couch, one arm slung over its back as she looked at you, and there was more energy in that expression than in your entire body.

"SHE GOT A BIT… RAINED ON," Papyrus explained, closing the door with the back of his boot and depositing the umbrella in the nearby stand. "SANS, COULD YOU GO GET A TOWEL?"

"sure, bro," he said, extracting himself fully from behind the television from where he'd been working. "Alph, you wanna take a break?"

"But we just took a brea— well, oh, fine." The little yellow monster picked herself off the ground, brushing a dust mote off of her leg as she did so. Her attention returned to the conversation, and, somewhat hesitantly she approached, joining Undyne on the couch.

After looking between you two, Undyne incredulously asked, "What were you doing, taking a nap, or something?"

She stopped in dumb shock at Papyrus' expression.

"WELL…"

"WHAT?!" Undyne leaned forward, only her knees keeping her steady as she hung over the couch's edge. "Why weren't you sleeping in your house? Did it burn down or something?"

"I don't have a house."

"What. How. You don't — do you have an apartment?"

"No.

"A — A hovel? A hut? A — where do you sleep?"

"In the park." This flustered Undyne even more, and noticing Papyrus beginning to look nervous, you changed the topic. "What were you two doing?" You asked Alphys, tilting your beak towards the television.

"Sans and I were, uh, um…"

"YOU SLEEP IN A PARK? PAPYRUS!" She gestured at the man holding you, probably because you were still dripping and he didn't want you to soak the cushions. "YOU NEVER TOLD US SHE WAS HOMELESS."

As soon as Sans returned with a towel — red, with a race-car stitched onto one corner — Papyrus swooped over to him, settling you down and beginning to fuss over you. "LET'S GET YOU ALL DRY FIRST!"

"Don't change the topic! Isn't there, like - isn't the Primus, like, your guys' king or something? Why the hell is he letting you sleep in a park?"

Papyrus shot her a look as he enveloped your shoulders with the towel, but you didn't mind responding. "Oh, he wanted me to live with him. I tried for a little while, but I knew I couldn't stay there."

Undyne deflated, but there was an uneasy, suspicious set to her mouth. "...Why not?"

"I saw their future. If I stayed there, he and Legbiter would have started thinking of me as a daughter. I couldn't let them be disappointed like that."

"D-...Disappointed? Why would they be disappointed?"

"Well," you began, in in your usual, frank tone, "I'm certain that I couldn't fulfill their expectations. Eventually, there would be something about being a normal human that I wouldn't be able to understand, making me unable to properly fulfill the role of being a daughter. It would have been cruel to allow them to get too invested."

You didn't really understand why Alphys and Undyne wore matching expressions of horror. Wasn't it obvious? Perhaps they just didn't know you well enough to realize yet. And Sans — he stared at the ground, and there was something particularly off about his smile. How odd, it felt like he'd heard this before —

"CRANE," Papyrus said, the force of his voice not allowing anyone else to interject. "I THINK IT MIGHT BE GOOD IF YOU CHANGED INTO SOMETHING DRY, ALRIGHT?"

You froze underneath his touch, or — no, more at the suggestion, really, your breath catching in your throat as your thoughts slowed to a complete halt. "No." It was a firm, complete word.

Papyrus waited for more elaboration, but when nothing was forthcoming, he crouched down so he didn't tower over you quite so much. "Alright, you don't have to. Would it be alright if I knew why, though?"

In the background, you could see Sans rounding up Alphys and Undyne with a casual, "hey, you guys still haven't delivered on those… onerousies you promised, or whatever."

"O—onigiri! They're called onigiri! " Alphys' voice contained quiet affront as she was pulled into the kitchen. Your neck prickled with… embarrassment? You think that's what this feeling was, along with guilt. Always that guilt.

"I'm sorry," you mumbled, not able to meet Papyrus' concerned expression. "I know I'm being strange."

He put one of his huge, gloved hands on your face, cupping your cheek with his fingers. "You're not being strange, and even if you were, it would be alright. Do you remember what I told you earlier?"

"Yes…"

"It applies to this too. So, don't worry about it… okay?"

It was too hard to nod so you simply leaned into Papyrus' touch, pressing your cheek against his hand. It was quiet for a moment, and then he spoke again. "Will you tell me why you don't want to change into different clothes?"

You struggled with your words, toes curling into the carpet. Then, "I like this outfit."

"What about it do you like?"

"The colors. They're important."

"So… if the colors were the same, would it be alright? What if I got you a white shirt, and — here, you can put this over your head," he said, pulling his hand back and taking off his (slightly damp) scarf. "I have some red hats too, and… my gloves are going to be a bit too big for you, but it'd be something, and maybe you can find some black pants that fit you? I'm not? Sure? Hmn." A squint, then, "How does that sound? I promise my wardrobe is suitable for the coolest of cool dudes like yourself."

You considered this deeply. Then, quite slowly, "...Alright."

He beamed, standing and depositing both his scarf and his gloves in your arms. "WONDERFUL! WE'LL PUT YOUR CLOTHES IN THE DRYER TOO, SO THEY'LL BE NICE AND COZY FOR YOU LATER." A pause, then, "IS IT ALRIGHT IF SANS SHOWS YOU TO MY ROOM? I'D LIKE TO MAKE SURE THERE IS FOOD IN THE… OREGONO? THAT YOU WILL ENJOY."

You almost thought you heard a quiet whisper of onigiri from the kitchen. "That is fine."

"SPLENDID!" he left your side, approaching the kitchen and leaning the front of his body through the doorway. "I AM IN NEED OF YOUR FASHION EXPERTISE, SANS!"

"sure can do, bro."

Sans emerged, and now that you were paying attention, you heard some extremely aggressive chopping emerging from the room, along with the sound of Alphys' faint pleas. You noted that he'd acquired some new decor, namely a smattering of some seaweed like-plant splatted across his skull. "you ready?"

"Yes, I am."

"UNDYNE," you heard Papyrus call behind you as he entered the kitchen. "DO YOU NEED ANY HELP?"

"No!" The sound of clattering metal. "I GOT THIS!"

"UM, ARE YOU SURE, THAT LOOKS VERY, UM —"

A lizard-like shriek interrupted him. "Undyne, n—n—no!"

A mad cackle, some crashing, and the sound of a … barking dog? "Undyne YEEEES!"

You glanced over the stairway railing, and then returned to following Sans.

Huh.

The sounds faded as you were lead through a small library, and quite shortly, you arrived at the door to Papyrus' room. You stopped to contemplate the signs plastered across the door — including, but not limited to, (NO GIRLS ALLOWED!), (X-TREME RACING ZONE), (NO BOYS ALLOWED!), (CARIBOU CROSSING), (RACING AREA), and (PAPYRUS ALLOWED!) You blinked absently, briefly stunned by the amount of information that was being conveyed, and next to you, Sans pulled out a black, felt-tipped marker. "here," he said, adding a word to one of the signs with a faint squeak. "i fixed it for you."

PAPYRUS (& CRANE)

ALLOWED!

"Oh, that's very helpful. But what about you?"

Sans shrugged. "eh, i'm not very good at obeying posted signage."

"Fair enough," was your reply, and with that, Sans opened the door.

You noticed the car-shaped bed first, and although it reminded you more of those packaged toys you'd seen in the grocery store than anything actually on the road, you quite liked its aura of speed. On a nearby table sat a clearly hand-made sculpture of Papyrus, accompanied accompanied by a wide assortment of other posable figurines, and as you leaned in to contemplate it, you thought how strange it was that this little, lovingly crafted bit of clay had changed your entire life.

Despite the mushed sloppiness of its face, you could tell it was filled with care.

You recognized one of the storybooks Papyrus liked reading to you from out of on the shelf, along with a variety of extremely academic material related to puzzles. Most of these books looked old, worn… but there were a couple of newer volumes that stood out, including The Complete Works of William Shakespeare and a few novels written by an author names 'Jane Austen'.

You felt like you should recognize those names, but you didn't.

Sans called to you from near the bed. "if you're done sticking your beak into things, i've got some stuff to wear."

You pulled back immediately, looking over at him. "Oh… did I bump something with my mask?"

He chuckled softly, turning to you and shaking his head. "nah, was making a joke there. ever heard of being nosy?"

"Oh. I suppose I have, yes."

"yeah, and you've got a beak instead of a nose." Sans winked, tapping his lack of nose knowingly. "anyway, i'll get out, so you can change. let me know if anything's not good."

He turned to walk out, and you squinted at him. You had the distinct impression that he knew that saying that was entirely unnecessary. Hmn.

Deciding not to think about it anymore, you shrugged, and decided to stick your beak into the clothes that Sans had gotten for you.

Literally. You didn't bother taking off your mask while you changed.

"So, Papyrus," Undyne said after it was very certain that you were out of earshot, a particular kind of sharpness in her voice. "Who the fuck do I need to kill?"

Papyrus sighed, looking over from the salmon that he was dicing. "UNDYNE, MURDER IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE CONFLICT RESOLUTION TECHNIQUE! I THOUGHT THEY WERE TEACHING YOU THAT IN YOUR ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES!"

"Oh, har-de-frickin-har. Papyrus, who taught her it was okay to think like that? "

"Undyne…" Alphys said softly, tapping a button on the rice cooker. Papyrus had gotten her a stool so she could reach the counter. "...I-I don't think we should, I mean…"

"I — just, Alphys, she doesn't have a house. What does she do in the wintertime? How long have things been like this for her? Does she bathe? Does she get enough to eat? Is that why — oh holy shit, Papyrus, is that why she's so light?"

Papyrus paused, setting the knife aside. "I DON'T… KNOW," he said carefully, leaning back against the counter. "NONE OF THE HUMANS THAT VISIT HER SEEM WORRIED ABOUT IT — "

"That doesn't mean anything, lots of humans are pretty scummy — "

Papyrus held up a hand. "—AND," he stressed, "I DO KNOW THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO LOOK OUT FOR HER. THAT IS NOT TO SAY I'M NOT WORRIED, WHICH IS… PRECISELY WHY I ASKED YOU TWO IF YOU'D BE WILLING TO BE FRIENDS WITH HER."

"Friends? How will being friends help? She talks about herself like — " Undyne waved a hand wildly. "Like she sees herself as being… fundamentally lesser than a human, or something!"

"I KNOW. WHICH IS WHY I WANT HER TO HAVE FRIENDS, SO SHE CAN SEE THAT PEOPLE LIKE BEING AROUND HER. THAT THEY'RE NOT JUST PUTTING UP WITH HER." Pause. A finger-tap on the counter. "THAT SHE'S NOT A DISAPPOINTMENT."

"H—He is right, Undyne, I mean, um…" Alphys let out a difficult little breath. "Um. I mean. You — you being… friends… with me, really — really helped. With my, well, everything. And — I don't think, if you'd been, well, I don't want to say pushy but I can't think of a better word to — ... you know what I mean? It wouldn't have worked."

Undyne sighed, scooping some of the chopped seaweed into a bowl. "...Yeah. I — I guess you kinda have to wait for her to open up, I guess, but, shit. It leaves a really bad taste in my mouth. She's really nice. And, like, I'm pretty sure if someone tried to hurt her she'd just… let them, you know? She seems like that kind of person, and that — " There was a pause as she looked for a proper term to convey her feelings. "That really sucks."

"I KNOW, AND IF I THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS ACTIVELY HURTING HER, I WOULDN'T BE SO…" He squinted a bit. "PASSIVE. BUT RIGHT NOW, I JUST WANT TO HER TO BE ABLE TO BE COMFORTABLE AROUND ME. IF SHE EVER WANTS TO TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED, I'LL LISTEN, BUT IF NOT, I'LL BE THERE, HELPING HER SEE THAT THE WORLD IS WORTH BEING AWAKE FOR."

"...Jeez," Undyne murmured, watching Papyrus for a moment. "That… sounds really grown up. Wow, I, uh…"

"...UNDYNE!" he leaned forward. "ARE YOU CRYING?"

Her hand snapped out, shoving at his face. "No! I'M NOT CRYING, YOU'RE CRYING! SHUT UP!"

"NYEH-HEH-HEH! TYPICAL OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WHOSE WORDS ARE SO SWEET THAT THEY CAN MOVE OTHERS TO TEARS — "

"NGAHH! I'M NOT CRYING, YOU BIG LUG! I JUST! I GOT SEAWEED IN MY EYE!"

"Oh, Undyne, p-please don't — not in the kitchen — !"

"hey, everybody," Sans interrupted, his voice somehow oozing the concept of lounging. "how's the food coming?"

There was an interrupted chorus of everything's fine, because, at that moment, everyone saw you standing behind Sans in the doorway. You waved, slightly, then tugged on the overly large glove to keep it on your hand.

There was a moment that could only be encapsulated by a single set of ellipses. Then, leaning in conspiratorially, Undyne said, "Are those your pants?"

"Yes," Papyrus replied in a thin little voice.

"...And… that's your hat?"

"Yes," Papyrus repeated in a tone that conveyed audible sweating.

"And she's wearing your shir— "

Papyrus pushed Undyne's face away, keeping a very, very firm smile on his face. "CRANE! HOW ARE YOU FEELING? IS IT GOOD TO BE DRY?"

You nodded, extremely puzzled by the way everyone was staring at you. "Yes. Thank you for your consideration. I appreciate it." Then, "Socks are strange. I'm not sure if I like them."

"LET'S, UH, IT'S CHILLY, AND YOU'RE PROBABLY STILL A BIT DAMP, SO, LET'S GET A BLANKET FOR YOU!" Papyrus approached you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"Okay," You paused. "You're acting strangely. Am I not cool enough for your clothes?"

"NO! NO, NO, NO, YOU'RE DEFINITELY COOL! A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO SAVE THE PRESIDENT, EVEN!"

"That's… a good thing? Does the president need saving?"

"YES! YES, IT'S A GOOD THING, ER — I MEAN — " He paused, then ushered you out into the living room. "I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT IT LATER."

"Well, okay…"

"Someone's got a clothing kiiiink," Undyne whispered to Alphys, and Papyrus prayed to whoever was listening that you didn't hear that.

Being at Papyrus' house was nice, as was wearing his clothes and lounging in his' lap while you snoozed. (He had acted strangely about this at first, but you'd said it was no different from being carried and he acquiesced.) As you drifted in and out of consciousness, you occasionally caught snippets of the show everyone else was watching, which seemed to be some sort of program with lots of sparkles and drawings that moved. You didn't understand, and you were particularly confused at how upset Undyne and Alphys seemed that you didn't know what 'anime' was.

They said they wanted to show you some later, and you said okay, but later was not now, because now was naptime. It really had been hard to properly sleep in the rain.

Most of the time, when you surfaced from your doze, you overheard conversations relating to the activity at hand, namely things like, "Tamaki no, " and, "Wait, which twin is that, again?" and also, "THE TALL ONE AND THE SHORT ONE SHOW TRUE BROTHERLY COMPASSION TOWARDS EACH OTHER!" But, fairly late in the afternoon, you drifted into consciousness as a fairly muted conversation was going on.

"...We probably shouldn't h—have messed with the television until after we figured out if she had to be awake or not, huh?"

"ehh. probably not, but hey, c'est la… whatever. things are working for now."

"D—Do you… think it has something to do some sort of… targeted electromagnetic pulse?"

"i mean. we'd probably have to actually run trials on her soul to figure that out, and, uh — "

"That is super duper not happening," you heard Papyrus quietly say above you.

Alphys sounded sort of upset. "R—r—right, absolutely not! I'd, I'd never… we should never..."

"yeah, no. hey, Alph, wanna put in the next dvd? Tamaki has got to confess soon." A pause. "i can feel it in my bones."

Papyrus groaned, but her mood shifted direction then, and Alphys let out a little giggle. "O-O-kay, sure, let me just get the box…"

You stirred then, yawning and blinking blearily.

"WELL, HELLO! DID WE WAKE YOU?"

"No," you replied, flexing your toes and looking around. Undyne watched you from the other side of Alphys, her cheek propped up on her chin, and when she saw you looking she grinned toothily. "Hey, punk. Sleep good?"

"Mhmm." You shifted a little in the blanket enveloping you — kind of like a… oh, what was the food. A burrito? Truly, you did feel significantly more rested. You'd be ready to work, tonight. "Thank you for the food, by the way. I never said that. Did you want me to tell your future?"

"Tell… my future?" Undyne canted her head, then leaned back to throw her arm around the back of the aggressively green couch.

"Yes. You and Alphys fed me, so if you'd like, I can give you advice on a problem… or tell you something helpful."

"Oh, right! I forgot about that. Well… okay. Yeah, why not, for a lark. Tell me something helpful."

You stared at Undyne for a long moment, then yawned once more. "If you fight thetoaster you won't win."

"I — What?" Her eyebrows went way up.

"If you fight the toaster, you won't win. It'll go very badly for you. I recommend you don't do that."

"...I—Is there… any more context to this?" Alphys asked, clearly perturbed.

"Nope."

Giggling, Alphys pulled out her phone, her thumbs clicking on the keyboard at a rapid pace. "Oh man, I gotta post that, anddd… done!" She smiled at Undyne, a little, timid expression. "A—and so says the soothsayer… don't battle the toaster."

"I'm gonna fight whatever the darn-well-heck I want," Undyne grumbled, looking back over at the TV. "We ready to rumble?"

"S-sure we are, although… Crane, if you're watching now… m—maybe we should put something new on, so you aren't confused?"

"Oh, you don't have to, I don't mind." You oozed, completely content with not moving for the foreseeable future.

"Actually, hey, Alph — what about that movie with the… big fat fluffy things? The cute one? With the kids?" Undyne paused. "The one with not enough swords?"

"O-Oh, Totoro? Actually — actually, that's a good idea! Let's watch that — oh, Sans, is that okay?"

Sans shrugged, grinning. "yeah, sure, just means you owe me. i just gotta know."

"Oh, well, alright." You looked back up at Papyrus again. He had the hugest grin you'd ever seen on his face, like watching this had made him incredibly, astoundingly happy.

As the screen flickered to life, and pictures began moving on it… you really started to understand how much you liked it when he looked like that.