Mr. Darcy hurried down the stairs. Upon his return from checking on how work had been proceeding on the replacement of some tenants' roofs, he had been advised that his cousin, Col. Fitzwilliam, had returned his sister, Georgiana, to Pemberley and he was anxious to see them both. Notwithstanding his anxiety he had taken the time to wash up and then change his clothes.
Georgiana was the first to see Mr. Darcy enter the small family sitting room and she greeted him with a hug. After Col. Fitzwilliam had shook his hand, after the usual pleasantries with arriving travellers had been exchanged, after the three of them had been seated with tea in hand, and after the servants had left the room, Mr. Darcy could see the expectant looks opposite him, and he said, "Well, out with it, l can see you both have something to say."
Col. Fitzwilliam laughed. "You are looking remarkably well. On the way here, we worried we would find you unshaven, and unwashed, still in your wedding clothes, stinking of brandy, not eating, neglecting your duties, alarming your servants, mired in the slough of despond, a victim of unrequited love. Yet here you sit, all bright and shiny."
"I was not in love" said Mr. Darcy. There was no need for him to say with whom.
"I saw the way you looked at Miss Elizabeth at Rosings, and I know you would steal away to walk with her in the mornings. Not to mention the way you watched her when she walked down the aisle at your wedding" said Col. Fitzwilliam.
"You mentioned her in your letters to me; you never ever mentioned any other ladies by name, not even Miss Bingley" said Georgiana.
"I was not in love with Miss Elizabeth" said Mr. Darcy. When he saw Col. Fitzwilliam about to object, he said "I will admit that I was infatuated with her."
"Just an infatuation? At the age of twenty and eight?" said Col. Fitzwilliam. "I had my infatuation when I was ten and six; Georgiana had hers when she was ten and five."
"We will not mention that last" said Mr. Darcy.
"No, we will" said Georgiana; her defiance surprizing Mr. Darcy. "When we are in private, we will acknowledge my stupidity with respect to Mr. Wickham. Aunt Martha says I was stupid because I was ignorant. She has been teaching me all about rakes and how to recognize them; not to mention cads, wastrels, gamblers and drunkards."
Col. Fitzwilliam forestalled Mr. Darcy. "My mother is right; we did not do Georgie any favours by keeping her ignorant of how the world really works. She's going to be out in two years and she's going to have to know how to take care of herself; after all we didn't protect her from Wickham, did we?"
Mr. Darcy sighed. "No, we didn't …"
"But we're not going to beat that dead horse any further; not today" said Col. Fitzwilliam. "Today, you're going to try to convince us you're not in love with Miss Elizabeth Bennet. I can tell you that you are in difficult position, and as a soldier I'd recommend you admit defeat rather than defend your position to the last man."
"I am perfectly prepared to defend my position that I was infatuated, rather than in love" said Mr. Darcy. "First of all, the age at which I was first infatuated is irrelevant; there must always be a first time. To borrow your military analogy, this was the first time a lady managed to get within my defensive lines."
"But infatuation is like mumps, it is more dangerous the older you are."
"I agree with you there; nothing long-lasting resulted from your respective youthful infatuations. I was very publicly jilted; I will bear that scar forever. But still, it was an infatuation, nothing more."
"So why you were infatuated with Miss Elizabeth? Why her in particular" asked Georgiana.
Mr. Darcy thought for a moment then he said: "she was different from all those pale, vapid, chittering debutants the ton is so full of. Think of all those traits you would want in a spouse and she possesses them: intelligence, grace, compassion, health …"
"But not wealth" said Col. Fitzwilliam.
Mr. Darcy shrugged. "I have enough for us both and any children we might have had."
"Nor worthwhile connections" said Col. Fitzwilliam.
"My connection to you, the future Field Marshall the Right Honourable Sir Richard Fitzwilliam, lord and master of all he surveys, is enough connection for me" replied Mr. Darcy.
"Fair enough" said Col. Fitzwilliam "but what of her connections to trade, one uncle a country solicitor in Meryton, and the other an importer in Cheapside?"
"I am not a mossback tory like your father. I believe that the future prosperity of Great Britain depends on trade and I will not, and do not, disparage trade. If the truth be known, and I would ask that you do not make it known, the majority of my income is from trade. My greatest friend, other than you of course, is Bingley, a man of trade, although he passes very well as a gentleman."
"Speaking of Mr. Bingley, what of your promise to Miss Bennet?" asked Georgiana (Col. Fitzwilliam had told her what her brother had promised to Elizabeth's sister).
"I have written Bingley. If I do not hear from him within in the next month, which is a distinct possibility, as he is a poor correspondent, I will seek him out."
"Why make the promise in the first place?" asked Col. Fitzwilliam.
"I fear I have wronged both Bingley and Miss Bennet. When we were at Netherfield Bingley became quite enamoured of Miss Bennet and paid her a great deal of attention, so much that it was made known to me that the neighbourhood anticipated an offer would be made. I could not see that Miss Bennet held Bingley in any great affection and I thought that she would only marry Bingley to please her mother. So, I conspired with Bingley's sisters to remove him from Netherfield to Town, and when Miss Bennet followed him to Town, to keep her presence from him. I thought Bingley would cheer up and find a new angel; but he did not. He was still subdued and unhappy when I last saw him, just before he left for Scarborough in February.
"I might have continued to believe I was justified in separating Bingley and Miss Bennet had I not learned what I learned at the dinner the night before the wedding. Miss Lydia, the youngest of the Bennet sisters, trapped me in one of the alcoves and asked me where Bingley was; she hissed at me, she was that angry, she hissed that if he showed up, she would poison him for breaking her sister's heart. When I protested, she punched me in my chest, hard, over my heart, and told me to look, to really look, at Miss Bennet.
"Well, I did. The Miss Bennet of last autumn, when I first went to Hertfordshire with Bingley, was a great beauty whom radiated a warm and happy serenity; she was the sun. Certainly, Bingley thought so. At that prewedding dinner, Miss Bennet was still beautiful and serene, but it was a cool and sad serenity radiating no warmth at all; she was more the moon. I planned to ask her what I did at the wedding breakfast, but when it became apparent at the church that there would not be one, I asked her then; I needed to make it right, even if she was not going to be my sister."
"Damn" cursed Col. Fitzwilliam. "Pardon my language, but I think I know why Miss Elizabeth refused you."
"Pray tell" said Mr. Darcy.
"When we were at Rosings I met Miss Elizabeth one morning while she was walking in the park. In fact, it was the same day as the compromise occurred. I'd seen how Miss Elizabeth didn't like you so I tried to show what a great friend you were. By way of an example, I told her how you had just saved a friend from an unfortunate match. I'm really sorry."
"Do not worry yourself, that would have only been one of the reasons" said Mr. Darcy. "Wickham must have been another."
Georgiana gasped. "Was she one of his …"
"I do not know how much of a tendre she had for him" said Mr. Darcy. "The only time I danced with her, at Bingley's ball last November, when she could have only known him for a few days, she accused me of mistreating him in a manner which he is likely to suffer from all his life. I took that to mean that he had told her his story how he was refused the living at Kympton. But enough of Mr. Wickham; what did you mean Miss Elizabeth did not like me?" he asked Col. Fitzwilliam.
"At Rosings did you think she was flirting with you?" Col. Fitzwilliam asked.
"Yes, of course."
"No. She was jabbing at you; only she was using a rapier instead of a fist. She was mocking you, not flirting with you." When Mr. Darcy shook his head in denial Col. Fitzwilliam continued: "Now I've never seen Miss Elizabeth and Miss Bingley together at the same time, but I have seen them both, and I can guess that when they were together Miss Bingley treated Miss Elizabeth with distain. Am I right?"
Mr. Darcy thought about it. "Yes."
"And how did Miss Elizabeth respond to Miss Bingley's attacks?" asked Col. Fitzwilliam.
"She defended herself but she was polite; her wit was so subtle I am that Miss Bingley did not even know she was being mocked." Mr. Darcy could see Col. Fitzwilliam staring at him with a certain amount of skepticism. "That does not mean she was mocking me …"
"Did you treat Miss Elizabeth with distain?"
"No, of course not." Mr. Darcy tried to recollect. "At Netherlands, I admired her but I did not want to raise any expectations so I acted as I generally do when I am at balls and the like in the ton."
"You ignored her and when you couldn't, you scowled at her."
Mr. Darcy sighed. "I may have."
"So, as you are wont to do, you treated her as if she were barely tolerable."
Tolerable. That word rang a bell which rang progressively louder in Mr. Darcy's mind. "Oh no."
"What?" asked Georgiana. "What's wrong?"
Mr. Darcy answered: "The first time I saw Miss Elizabeth was the day I arrived in Hertfordshire. There was an Assembly in Meryton which Bingley dragged me to. I was in no mood to go because …
"Of Mr. Wickham and me" said Georgiana.
"Yes, but I could not stay at Netherfield because if I would have, Miss Bingley would have insisted on keeping me company, so I went."
"And walked around the perimeter of the ballroom scowling at the people" said Col. Fitzwilliam.
"Well, yes. Anyway, Bingley pushed me to dance with Miss Elizabeth, you know how he is, and I told him" here Mr. Darcy shook his head in regret "I told him words to the effect that she was tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me, and that I was in no humour to give consequence to young ladies who were slighted by other men." Mr. Darcy waited for them to say something but they just stared at him, Georgiana with her mouth making a silent 'oh'. "Now you know why she would not have me."
After a long pause Georgiana asked "What are you going to do now William?"