I couldn't leave you on a cliff hanger for too long. Enjoy and let me know what you think :)
She really didn't know how to react, she felt as though her whole world had been flipped upside down. She had come to accept that Matt didn't want children, it wasn't what she wanted but she had accepted his decision. She'd be lying if she'd said that wasn't one of the reasons she grew closer to Jack. But in the end she respected his choice.
And now he was standing here telling her the complete opposite. Everyone had the right to change their mind but she couldn't help but feel there was a motive behind his actions, as though he was going to gain something out of this. It was all so convenient for him to be saying all of this now. But she would give him the chance to explain himself, maybe she was wrong.
"I'm confused," she breathed. "First you tell me you want to have children and then you say you don't. And now you do? What's going on Matt?"
Matt walked around the counter to join her, he leaned one elbow on the surface whilst his free hand came to run up and down the length of her arm. Nikki couldn't help but flinch slightly at his touch, she didn't mean to, it was completely involuntary. She just hoped that he hadn't noticed, he didn't seem too though. Or at least, if he did, he was doing a good job of pretending that it wasn't bothering him.
"Is a man not allowed to change his mind from time to time?" He attempted to joke but it just sent a shiver down Nikki's spine. He continued, his hand moving to rest on her cheek, "I've been thinking about it for the past couple of weeks, ever since the accident. Life's too short Nikki and I know you want a child. I know I wasn't for the idea but if it's what you want then I'm happy to sacrifice what I think."
Nikki didn't know what to say but she could see a little opening in what he was saying. Almost as if there was glimmer of hope for her to get out of this relationship unscathed, "But that's not fair Matt."
"What's not fair?" He questioned, dropping his hand from her face so he could see her properly.
"You shouldn't have to pretend that you want a child just because I do," she started. She could see him screwing up his face so she tread carefully over her next few words. "What I mean is, when you're in a relationship, you should both want the same things. You don't want a child, I do. I just don't think this is going to work because you're going to end being unhappy and lumped with a child you don't want."
"Are you saying that I wouldn't love my child?" He retorted, almost backing away from her.
Nikki shook her head, bemused as to where that had come from, "No Matt that's not what I'm saying…"
"No that is what you're saying," he interrupted. "You're saying that I wouldn't love my child because I happened to tell you a couple of months ago that I wasn't ready to have another child yet."
"That is not what you said," she felt herself straightening up, as if to make herself appear taller in the hope that she'd come across stronger. "You told me that you didn't want a child. That you had already gone through that part of your life."
It was Matt's turn to shake his head, "I never said that Nikki. I said that I wasn't ready to have a child yet but now, I have come round to the idea the more that I've thought about it."
"I don't believe you," she spoke bluntly. "Why are saying all of this now?"
Matt rolled his eyes, a smile spreading across his face as he came to cup Nikki's cheeks again, "Because I want a child with you Nikki," he chuckled. "I thought this would make you happy, that this something you wanted."
Nikki almost wanted to look around the room for the camera that was filming her, nothing about what just happened felt real. One minute he's all but having a go at her and now he's laughing at her and making her feel small. She was so confused. She didn't want to read too much into it and although she could feel herself somewhat relaxing now, there was still this weird tension in the room.
"It is I want," she sighed, feeling deflated. This wasn't where she had wanted this to go.
"Good," Matt grinned, feeling the complete opposite to Nikki. Leaning down, he pecked her on the lips.
Nikki took a deep breath, she was going to have to tell him now. She briefly ran her head across her forehead before looking back up at him, "I'm pregnant," she let out, feeling the air escaping her lungs.
"What?"
Considering he had just told he wanted kids, he didn't seem too happy. And that smile that had been plastered over his face had completely disappeared. He knew. He knew it wasn't his. He knew that there was no way it could be. But what had taken Nikki by surprise was that he was pulling her into a hug and holding onto her tightly. Nikki didn't know what to do except hug him back.
After a few moments, he dropped his arms from around her, only for his lips to connect with hers. Nikki closed her eyes, trying not to think about how she had gone about this the complete wrong way and now she was just going to make things even worse for herself.
Matt backed away from her, a smirk on his face, "I love you," he beamed. But his attention was quickly stolen by the sound of the pasta over-boiling on the hob. He spun around and attended to it whilst Nikki stayed sat there, her head in her hands trying to keep the panic that was threatening to rise, down.
In what felt like a matter of seconds, Matt was placing a bowl of food in front of her. It really did look delicious and she was so desperately hungry but she couldn't bring herself to eat anything. She pushed her fork around the bowl, she had never wanted to not be in her house so much.
Matt clearing his throat next to her, pulled her from her thoughts, "Nikki, you would be honest with me, wouldn't you?" He piped up.
The tone of his voice put her on edge and she had a feeling she knew where this was going, also quick to pick up on the fact that she had said something similar to him not that long ago. She didn't particularly want to answer him but she did anyway, "Yes," she looked over at him, their eyes connecting. She couldn't read him, not in the way she could read Jack. There were often times where she felt he was stranger, like she didn't know the man at all. And in many ways she didn't, there were things he always kept back from her, things he was never truly honest about.
"Is it Jack's?" He said sharply.
"What?" She had expected but it still took her by surprise, the metal fork clanging against the china. She didn't move her eyes from him though, they stayed connected with his. Her heart was racing now.
"It's a simple question Nikki," he spat. "Is that baby, Jack's?"
She bit her lip, she had spent the whole day coming up with ways to say it to him. To tell him the truth. But now it came down to it, she crumbled. And she had no words.
"Matt, I…" she started but she was cut off by him.
"You bitch," Matt stood up, picking his bowl up along with Nikki's and placing them down next to the sink. She was surprised he hadn't smashed them with how hard he put them on the counter.
Nikki didn't know how to compute any of what was going on right now. The past hour really had been a rollercoaster of emotions, it didn't even register to her that he had asked her if it was Jack's. So he did know. Her mind thought back to the messages that he had denied deleting. It was him but she believed him when he said it wasn't. Along with him doing everything in his power to keep Jack away, it was starting to make sense. And even now, him suggesting that they have a child. It was like all the pieces of the puzzle were fitting together.
"How did you know?" She dared to ask, suddenly feeling braver. Although she doubted that it would last for very long.
"I didn't," his nostrils flared and Nikki could almost see the steam coming out of his ears. "At least, I couldn't be sure. But now I am. How long has it been going on?"
Nikki opened her mouth to reply but was stopped as Matt spoke over her, taking control of the conversation.
"Wait let me guess," he leaned back on the counter. There was a smugness to his voice and it was making her feel uneasy. "When I came to the Lyell to give you flowers and to apologise to you for how I had been acting over the past couple of weeks, was it going on then?"
Nikki stayed quiet, her breaths becoming more shallow.
"Because I seen how he looked at you, he couldn't take his eyes off you," he stepped forward. His hands reaching out to land on the counter just in front of her. "And then I looked at you and I seen it all over your face. So that night when I sat with you and I poured my heart out to you. And I told you how I had been struggling to come to terms with losing Jonathan in the plane crash and how it could've been me. You were thinking about him."
She shook her head, "That's not…that's not how it was."
"Then how was it Nikki?" She could tell that he was trying to keep his voice low but he was only a few seconds away from blowing. "When I went home for a couple of days were you sleeping with him then? Because you weren't here. And before you ask, Elaine next door had asked if we had enjoyed our trip, she was quite surprised when I told her it was just me that had gone because she hadn't seen you for days. Were you with him?"
She slowly nodded, it was pointless denying it.
"You were on your way to see him when you crashed, weren't you?" He continued, getting angrier by the second. "That's why you took the ring off."
Nikki looked down at her left hand, she had completely forgotten about the ring. But Matt hadn't seemed to have noticed, or he was choosing not to. This was the first time he had even mentioned it.
Matt scoffed, turning away from her to gather himself before looking back at her, "They told me, when I got to the hospital, that your partner was already in there with you. That you had been asking for him. I thought there had been some kind of mix up, I prayed that it would've been Thomas. But then I seen him come out and I just knew. There was no mix up," he paused. "Do you love him?"
It just felt as though her whole world was crumbling and she couldn't find the words to speak.
"Answer the question Nikki," he pushed. "Do you love him?"
"Yes," she spoke eventually. The tears dripping down her cheeks. "I do. I didn't ask for it to happen but it has."
"So what happens now, huh?" Matt folded his arms, leaning on the counter again. "You tell me to go, you tell Jack that your having his baby and then you live happily ever after?" He laughed causing Nikki to furrow her brows. "If you think that man is fit to be a father then you're a bigger idiot than I thought you were. He can't control his temper let alone raise a child."
"You don't know Jack like I do," she couldn't sit there listening to him say that about Jack when she was probably one of the few people that had seen his softer side. Yes he lost his temper a lot but his heart was, and is, always in the right place. Matt could say what he wanted about her, she deserved it. But she drew the line at him accusing Jack of being unable to be a good father.
"Oh I know I don't," he rolled his eyes. But then he seemed to take a deep breath and he became calm all of a sudden. "But I am going to find it in my heart to forgive you as long as you promise me that it's over between you."
"But what about the baby?" She questioned, her mind was completely baffled at this point, like it was all some scary dream. She didn't know where she stood with him at all anymore.
"What about the baby?" He shook his head, a bewildered look on his face. "As far as anyone else is concerned that baby's mine."
Nikki flicked her head, not quite believing what she was hearing, "I can't do that to him Matt, I can't carry his baby and not tell him," she stood up now, not liking where this was going.
"Well you are," he spoke, matter of factly. "I'm calling the shots in this relationship from now on."
"And you're prepared to raise someone else's child are you?" She raised an eyebrow at him. She knew she shouldn't push him like this because who knew where it could land her but she just couldn't wrap her head around what he was trying to say to her.
"If it means that we stay together then yes," he edged closer to her. "I'm prepared to do anything because I'm not letting you go. It would just be way too easy for you, wouldn't it? For me to be so ashamed of you that I would walk away and you could go running to the mysterious forensic scientist. Well I'm sorry Nikki but I'm not going anywhere."
She didn't speak to Matt for the rest of the night, even choosing to sleep on the sofa. She had been so close to phoning Jack, to tell him everything but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Because she was scared. She was scared of what Matt might do should he find out that she had been ringing him. He had told her that she wasn't allowed to see him unless it was work related. And he had warned her that if she tried to see him outside of work then he was going to do everything in his power to get her out of the UK and find her a job where she wouldn't be able to see him.
And she'd rather just only be able to see him at work, so as long as she still got to see him. So she took that risk and made her choice. She wasn't going to tell Jack that she was carrying his child.
Matt had decided upon dropping her off to work that morning so it would require him to pick her up afterwards as well. So, in his eyes, there was less chance of her sneaking off with Jack. Although she was hardly going to risk that now with all the threats he had thrown in her direction.
What she didn't expect was Matt to follow her into work. And as she asked him what he was doing, he simply told her that they were going to announce the good news to everyone.
"Matt we can't do that," she stopped him just outside the lift as they waited for it to arrive. "What if something happens?"
He shrugged his shoulders at her, "I just want to make sure he knows where he stands now. This thing going on between the two of you is over, especially now you're having my child." He grabbed the back of her arm as the elevator pinged and he guided her inside.
Nikki winced as he pinched at her skin but she tried her hardest to ignore the pain. As they stood inside, they watched the numbers go up. Nikki felt her adrenaline surge as the lights flickered and she was quick to grab onto the handle. She breathed a sigh of relief as they came to a stop and the doors opened. She had always hated lifts and the thought of getting stuck in one terrified her.
As they walked over to the entrance, she could see Jack and Clarissa were already inside and she knew that Thomas would've been in his office. She let out a breath, he really was going to make her do this. She must've just stood there staring because she jumped out of her skin as she felt him snaking his arm around her waist.
"You can do this Nikki," he spoke softly. She wanted to be sick, his voice making her skin crawl and his hand coming to land just off the centre of her stomach. And she couldn't move away from him, he had trapped her, in more ways than one. "I love you." He planted his lips on her cheek.
She sucked in all the air she could and pressed the buttons at the side of the door before stepping away from Matt and making her way into the building. She could see Jack and Clarissa sharing a look between them as they spotted Matt enter behind her. He had headed in the direction of Thomas' office whilst Nikki put her stuff on her desk.
Jack's eyes had darted between Clarissa and Nikki and his eyebrows were furrowed. There was something weird going on and he didn't like where it was going. Why had Matt come in with her and why was Nikki looking so pale? He could see that she was picking at the skin of her fingers and she was very clearly nervous about something and he was starting to get worried. He opened his mouth to say something but Matt and Thomas were making their way over.
He watched as Matt walked to Nikki, very subtly grabbing her by the waist, he could see Nikki flinch at his touch. Whatever was going on, it was not sitting well with Jack in the slightest.
"Nikki and I have an announcement to make," Matt started but Jack was distracted by Clarissa bowing her head and she almost looked disappointed. Did she know what was going on? His eyes returned back to Nikki and he could see that Matt was digging his fingers into her skin.
Jack did his best to hide his reaction, although the temptation to walk over and tell Matt to back off was becoming unbearable. He could see that Matt was hurting Nikki but there was nothing he could do about it. He felt his hands balling into a fist and his knuckles turning white, a subconscious habit he had seemed to be forming every time Matt was around these days.
Nikki did her best to not make eye contact with Jack, that the was one thing she needed to not do because she would tell him there and then. And she would be completely honest about everything. She could never lie to him. But Matt's fingers pressing into her side was distracting her and she knew he was warning her that she needed to speak because it was starting to get awkward. She could see Jack's face in the corner of her eye and he knew he was watching every move Matt made and he was getting angrier as each second passed. Because he could see what she could feel.
Another pinch from Matt pulled her from her thoughts. She just wanted to get this over and done with so Matt could leave, "We're having a baby," she blurted out eventually.
Jack felt his stomach drop to the floor and he could see Clarissa shaking her head, she didn't look at all pleased. Thomas, on the other hand, was quick to congratulate the pair. Jack stood up from his chair and walked over to Matt, holding his hand out. His heart was racing, he couldn't believe that this was really happening.
"Congratulations," he breathed, not a single spark of joy in his face as he firmly shook his hand. Making sure to squeeze it tightly. He then turned to Nikki, placing a soft hand on the side of her face before brushing his lips across her cheek. "I'm really happy for the both of you. But I have to go, those tests aren't going to run themselves, are they?" He did his best to hold it all together.
He made his way out of the room as quickly as his legs would allow him. He eventually reached the locker room, sitting down on the bench before it really hit him what had just happened. His brain couldn't compute it, none of it made sense. From what he knew, Nikki and Matt hadn't been together since the first time he and Nikki slept together. She had made that promise to him, that she would sort it all out. So either she had been lying to him and she'd been using the both of them. Or there was something else going on. But if this baby was his then she would tell him, wouldn't she? She wouldn't lie to him about something like this. And he couldn't work out Clarissa's reaction to it at all. He was just so baffled by what had happened in the last five minutes.
That didn't stop the tears falling however. Everything he had ever wanted had just slipped away from him in a matter of minutes. He had truly believed that Nikki would walk away from Matt, that she would choose him. But there was no chance of that happening now, she would never leave Matt if she was carrying his baby. He had lost her, completely. And he wasn't sure of how he was going to deal with that. That emotion quickly turned to anger as he stood up and thought about what could've been.
He started to pace up and down the room, he couldn't get Matt's stupid smile off his mind. The way he had looked at him whilst Nikki announced it. The way Nikki wasn't happy at all. This was something Nikki had wanted, they had talked about this before. She should've been happy, bouncing off the walls even, so why wasn't she? Jack could sense that something wasn't right. Something wasn't adding up. And the way Matt had been with Nikki over the past couple of weeks. Although he hadn't seen much of it, he could see there was something going on and it was enough to make his blood boil.
But there was nothing he could do about it now. He had lost for her good. Matt had won, Nikki had made her decision. It still made him angry though and he couldn't stop his hands balling into a fist as it connected with one of the lockers. His cheeks wet from tears as a sob escaped his throat. Thomas was going to kill him for putting a dent in the metal but he couldn't care less at this point. He had just lost the one woman he had loved most in the world, apart from his mother of course.
Back at the offices Nikki was fretting about where Jack had gone, she knew this would be affecting him and it was killing her not being able to go running after him to go find him. She was waiting for Matt to finish his conversation with Thomas so she could get him out of there and out of the way.
Once he finally finished, she led the way out of the entrance, stopping as the glass doors clicked shut.
"I can't do this," she spoke. "I can't lie to him."
Matt shook his head, scoffing, "You are doing this," he took hold of her arm again. Just as he had a couple of weeks ago. In the space of a day Nikki knew she had a million bruises forming all over her body, it really wasn't going to look good when they went to go for their scan. "Unless you want to go back in there and explain to your colleagues that you're nothing but a liar and a cheat. Are you really going to humiliate me like that?"
"But Matt…" she tried to answer back but he cut her off again. She could see the tears forming in her eyes as he clamped down on her arm even harder.
"But Matt nothing," he spat. "You've made your decision now. Stick to it." He dropped her arm and stalked away from her. Pressing the button on the lift before stepping inside. Not bothering to look back at her.
Nikki closed her eyes, the tears dropping as she sat down on the sofa just outside the entrance. She lifted the sleeve of her dress up and sure enough, there were perfect finger bruises planted up the top of her arm and they were bright red. She tried not to sob, she couldn't let anyone know about this. She supposed it's what she deserved really, she had cheated on Matt and broke Jack's heart. And now she had this poor child growing inside of her and no doubt she end up ruining their lives as well.
She did her best to try and get through the rest of the day, not that the current case provided the best distraction for her. It just seemed to make everything worse. Jack had barely spoken to her and neither had Clarissa, their only topic of conversation relating to the case. Things seemed to get even worse as she got the blood tests back. The woman hadn't been drinking despite the crime scene making them think that she had.
As she deciphered through the piece of paper, she could see that Jack and Clarissa were sat in the lab. Clarissa inspecting something on the microscope. There had been an overall low mood in the place ever since Nikki and Matt had made their announcement and she could see that although Jack was trying to put on a brave face, he wasn't happy. Clarissa on the other hand, just seemed to keep her focus on the case despite her obvious dispute against Nikki's actions.
She shook her head, she was here to do her job and focus on finding out what had happened to this woman and if she hadn't been drinking but, the crime scene had been made to look as though she had, then this was foul play. And this case now needed all the attention it could get.
"Was there actually gin in the gin bottle at the scene?" She asked as she made her way over to them.
"Yeah," Jack replied, not bothering to look in her direction.
"You tested it?" Nikki pushed on.
"Yup," Clarissa piped up, although all her focus was consumed by whatever was under the microscope.
Jack glanced up at Nikki briefly before looking back down at what was in front of him, "Of course we tested it. Why?"
"Her blood tests," she handed the piece of paper over to Jack, careful to not let her sleeve slip. Jack had a keen eye and he would spot the bruises straight away, given half a chance. "She hadn't been drinking."
"Really?" That had caught Clarissa's attention, who was now turning to face Nikki who just offered a 'yeah' and a nod. "So why would there have been a gin bottle at the scene next to the body? It had fingerprints on one side of the bottle but no thumb print."
"To make it look like she had been drinking," Nikki confirmed.
Clarissa shared a quick look at Jack, a smirk on her face before she sat back down on her chair and disappeared off somewhere, leaving a very awkward Nikki and Jack behind. Nikki urged her feet to move but she was stuck there and she could see that Jack was trying not catch her eye.
"So," Jack started, not wanting the silence to be dragged out any longer. He finally turned his head to face her but she wasn't looking him in the eye. "You and Matt, bet that was a shock."
Nikki shrugged her shoulders, "These things happen."
He stood up, no longer able to stick the awkwardness, "I'm happy for you. I really am. You're finally getting what you've always wanted." He stopped next to her. Resting his hands on either side of his face, he pressed his lips into her forehead before slipping away and leaving her on her own.