Yep. Itachi got pissed.
PLEASE READ (DISCLAIMER): As always, teenagers blundering in the dark. Deals with controversial and highly sensitive topics. Smut. Crude language. ALSO, mentions suicide and abuse. I strongly suggest/recommend that you read this chapter with a trusted individual if these are your trigger points.
Moreover, the events that take place in this chapter span over the course of a few months – in a non-linear fashion. Which is to say, that the sequence of the events are not strictly in a timely order. They're snippets from Itachi's life.
ALSO READ: Spoiler alert for Frozen II and Harry Potter (just in case).
Buckle in for a long ride. Here we go.
Itachi incorporates Sakura into his schedule after Naruto's birthday.
He visits her motel room whenever he can, or meets up with her if he's at Kamui for the evening. In between their various sexcapades, he learns quite a bit about her life. Sakura can sing, it turns out, but without any proper training, her notes don't always hit the mark. Itachi tells her that she should consider a mentor at some point, because she does have real potential.
To which she raises her eyebrows, "Can you sing?"
"Of course, I can," he frowns. "Every pianist has to learn how to sing."
She immediately requests for one song. Itachi thinks for a bit, licking his lips, and begins –
I fell in love next to you
Burning fires in this room
It just fits, light and smooth
It's Ed Sheeran's Firefly, and Itachi absolutely loves it. Before he realises, one song turns to two, then three, until she begins requesting her favourites more often than not. Itachi complies but puts forth one condition.
"Yeah?"
"You have to sing, too."
"You just pointed out that I can't."
"I didn't say that," he corrects her. "I can teach you."
She agrees. So now in between their various sexcapades, Itachi teaches her as much as he can, whatever he knows, and begins to share his playlists with her. Despite their differing tastes in music, they do find the middle ground.
On the other hand, when Itachi begins teaching her, Hashirama comments on his newfound initiative.
"Something has changed," his mentor smiles softly. "You seem more driven, more calm, more in the battle armour than I've seen you before. It's good. Keep doing it."
Itachi never questions his mentors on principle.
One night, he carries his laptop with him and they watch Frozen II.
"So she's technically not the Queen anymore," Itachi smirks at her when the movie finishes.
Sakura is staring at the screen with an unreadable expression as the end credits roll. "Huh."
Itachi's expression sobers gradually when she doesn't give any indication to speak further. "Did you not like it?"
Sakura finally turns to him, and the movement brings their faces close together. He doesn't move away. Her eyes look dark green under the dim lighting.
"I did," she answers, deep in thought. As if, she can't really see Itachi in front of her, but someone else entirely. "Actually, I think I like her even more."
Itachi smiles. "Yeah? Me, too."
Later, when he intertwines their fingers on either side of Sakura's head, moving and biting and sucking, Itachi wonders whether he could get away with buying her an Elsa merchandise. He whole-heartedly believes that she would prefer that over Gucci purses and diamond rings.
When Naruto is asked out by a boy when they're at the bowling alley, Sasuke's face is priceless.
It's all very random. Itachi and Sasuke are clicking selfies in Sasuke's phone as they wait for their chance, Yahiko is yelling at Zetsu, Nagato is in a heated discussion with Suigetsu, Hinata is frowning at whatever Kisame is telling her, and Konan is the one who nudges Itachi and points towards the boy, dressed in a snug black hoodie, blue denim, wild brown hair, approaching Naruto.
One moment, Naruto is cheering at his perfect score, and the next, he's sobered up, cheeks warm, rubbing the back of his neck.
Sasuke is staring with a dumb expression. Itachi pries the phone from his fingers pointedly, and Sasuke startles.
Naruto ends up agreeing to the date, and the two of them leave after another game.
"You're staring," Itachi tells him.
Sasuke doesn't bother denying.
Next time, he plays Beauty and the Beast, then Big Hero 6, then Coco, then Inside Out, and then soon they venture into the Harry Potter series. Since Sakura doesn't read, Itachi shows her the movies and explains the missing chunks, or the original scenes from the books that were adapted for the sake of the audience in the movies.
"Ginny is very different in the books," he tells her when they finish The Half Blood Prince.
"I thought you weren't into novels," she questions.
"I'm not. Nagato told us."
Sakura wasn't always homeless, she tells him. She was born in a trailer park, and lived there until she turned fourteen years old. She doesn't have any siblings, but grew up with the other children from the trailer park – Sasori, Deidara, Kakuzu, Mei, and Karui. Her parents were leaders of a local bike gang.
"That explains so much," Itachi remarks.
And then all went to shit on one bleak Tuesday evening, she says. Three other competing bike gangs decided to come together, and they managed to involve the local governing body and someone or the other – which is typically thought of as against their moral code. The entire community was disordered, and the adults were taken in prisons. If they'd done nothing wrong, the rival gang made it up. The power play is complicated for her to fully understand, she admits, but the kids found themselves on the streets within twenty-four hours, with nothing to show but the clothes on their bodies.
Kakuzu was the first to turn eighteen, and then Mei and Karui. Sasori is a year younger to her, and Deidara is of the same age. Itachi asks her what they're up to, and she says that they're trying to get their parents out of prison.
"What about you?" he questions, tracing the skin on her bare back. "Don't you want your parents to come out?"
"They died."
His fingers halt. Itachi looks at her, really looks at her, and her eyes are defiant, jaw clenched, and he thinks of melting trees in burning snow.
"They died in prison," she continues. "I still meet my friends, but I'm done with that whole shit."
Not knowing what to say, Itachi captures her lips between his, and doesn't bother with power play. He submits.
When Itachi meets Sai, it's by pure accident. It's the early hours of the morning, dusk is just at the horizon, when Itachi steps out of the motel room and for a second, his heart stutters and he thinks – shit, Sasuke.
Then the boy smiles, and asks, "Are you Sakura's Sugar Daddy?"
Itachi stares. "What?"
Not Sasuke, then. Definitely, not Sasuke.
He repeats the question slowly as though Itachi is a moron. To be honest, Itachi is still coming to terms with seeing a boy whose physical appearance is eerily as his brother's – and by extent – himself.
"Do I look like an old man?" Itachi counters.
"No," Sai concedes. "You look like a Richie Rich, though."
"I'm not Sakura's Sugar Daddy," Itachi says flatly.
"Oh. Boyfriend?"
Silence.
"I have to go."
He marches straight to the car, settles in, and tells Kakashi to drive already.
Naruto is staring blankly at Sasuke. "What?"
Sasuke frowns. "You don't know it?"
"No."
Itachi glances at them vaguely. They're sitting in a ramen shop, after much insistence from Naruto. Apparently, Ichiraku has the best ramen in the whole wide world. It's a small place, barely seats twenty people, and is run by a father-and-daughter duo. Also, Naruto seems to be frequenting the shop because soon upon their arrival, they'd been personally greeted and ushered to a table, with Are these your friends, Naruto? and Oh my, they're so handsome! and The usual?
After Naruto orders for them, Sasuke soon strikes up a conversation over a book called The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, which Naruto hasn't read yet, it seems.
"Naruto, how could you not know it?" Sasuke asks incredulously. "You need to read it."
Naruto frowns back. "What is it about?"
"Altruism and individualism," Sasuke replies. "Since you're someone who is inclined towards altruistism by nature, I think you would find it an interesting read."
"I'm not altruistic by nature," Naruto argues, and hastily continues when Sasuke gives him a bemused, pointed stare. "I mean, okay, I do recognize the necessity of altruism in the grand scheme of things, but I'm also very selfish in my propagandas. I have an idea of what the society should be like, and all I know is from what I've been taught by my parents and Jiraiya – and, of course, school. But that's what I'm doing, isn't it? I'm following the ideals that my mentors taught me. Believed in them. And now I want the society to be shaped that way. If you think about it, that's selfish, too."
"In that way," Sasuke picks up the thread of topic, "everything that a person does is selfish. Selfnessness is selfish in nature because it makes the person happy. It also speaks about how if helping someone in need is the highest test of virtue, then the person will want to find helpless people – so that they can help them and prove their worth. True selflessness doesn't really exist."
"Is that what the book says?" Naruto questions, chin propped up on folded hands.
"One of the points," Sasuke nods.
"Do you really believe that?"
"I think so. It makes sense to me."
"Itachi?" Naruto turns to him. "What do you think about this?"
He has no freaking idea, anymore. He has no idea whether he, himself, is selfless or selfish, whether they're two different things, or one and the same. "I don't think it matters," he says instead.
"Why would you say that?" Sasuke asks.
Itachi shrugs lightly. "It is whatever you convince yourself of, isn't it? If I help a person in need, does it matter why? Or whether I could help or not in that given moment? Whether I helped or not in that given moment? I don't see why the reason behind it, or one's justification for the same, is paramount."
"It is," Naruto denies. "It reveals who you are."
Itachi wants to tell him that it's not that easy, not that simple. But he holds his tongue, because Naruto is watching him with an unreadable expression, and Sasuke feels the need to do the same. Itachi pulls out his phone to avoid their weighted stares.
One day, Sakura requests for a ballet routine. So in the darkness of the night, they sneak out of the motel room and to the empty land a few yards down the road. Itachi tells Kakashi to turn on the headlights of the car and the space floods bright white. Sakura holds his phone, plays a song on the car's system, and hops on the bumper. Kakashi leans against the driver's door, hands in pockets.
Itachi removes his shoes, feels the lay of the ground and mentally thinks this is going to hurt like a bitch. But Sakura wants to see him do ballet, and who is he to deny her of anything?
He does a short two-minute routine under the open sky with her watching him, and he feels the same nervous energy thrumming under his skin from being around her. His toes are scratched and his right foot is bleeding slightly at the heel, but Itachi spins and jumps and arches, and doesn't hold back just because this isn't his usual dance floor, just because this is mud and stones.
When he's done, Sakura bandages his feet for him back in the motel room, and says, Never stop dancing.
Itachi learns that Sakura gets chocolate cravings during periods. They don't hook-up then, but Itachi still makes Kakashi drive him to her with his laptop, iPod, and an assortment of chocolates. He tells his cook one day to prepare chocolate waffles in the middle of the night, and the cook is in no position to question it, so he hands him a pile of them in an airtight box. Sakura goes for a shower as he lounges on the bed, his feet stretched out before him, half-asleep because Utakata is pushing Itachi to his heart's content. He hears the bathroom door creak open, jolts awake, and watches her silently as she dries her hair with a small towel, the smell of coconut shampoo wafting across the space.
"Come here," he beckons.
Sakura raises an eyebrow, but complies. She stands by the side of the bed in question, wearing an old T-shirt of his and a pair of yoga pants. Itachi grabs her hand, pulls her against his chest, buries his nose in her hair, and promptly falls asleep.
Sai is working on his biology subject. He has his study material laid out on the foot of the bed. The sound of scratching pencil is the only indication of any life in the room.
But life there is. Sakura and Itachi are snuggled near the headboard, one earphone each, listening to Itachi's iPod. This continues for another twenty minutes or so, and Itachi is watching Sai from time to time with increasing amusement because he feels that any time now, Sai is going to –
"Fuck this shit!"
-do that.
"Here, show me," Itachi laughs, handing over his earphone piece to Sakura, and sliding over to Sai.
"Why the fuck does this shit have such complicated terms," Sai complains, pushing his book towards Itachi as if it's the bane of his existence. "I'm going to fail tomorrow."
Itachi checks the syllabus. He's covered these topics at his school, so he at least knows what he's talking about when he explains it to Sai, drawing diagrams –
"You can draw?" Sai interrupts.
Itachi snorts. "No. If you live with Sasuke, this looks like a toddler's doodles."
It's 4.15 AM by the time Sai feels confident enough that he can manage a passable score on his test. To show his gratitude, he falls asleep on the bed right there, muttering wake me up in two hours.
Itachi is lying in the middle, on his side, spooning Sakura. Before he passes out, he hopes to hell that Sai doesn't kick in his sleep.
Izumi's mother visits their house almost every week, but the security refuses her entry. Which leads her to slander the Uchiha name in the media.
Mikoto isn't all too happy with it, despite Fugaku insisting that she's not the first to do so and she won't be the last. Uchiha is an established name; nothing she says or does makes a dent in their fame. He praises Itachi for staying firm with his decision of break-up, because they should know their place. Mikoto argues that a kid's relationship is hardly equivalent to the magnitude of the situation, and Itachi reminds her that they've gone through worse.
"Besides," he says, frowning, "she spoke ill about Sasuke."
"Many people are going to do that," Mikoto replies. "You can't go around punishing every single one of them."
Sasuke laughs coldly. "Of course," he taunts. "Why would you care about your gay son being insulted and disrespected?"
"That's how it is," Mikoto snaps at him. "If you're going to be a baby about it, then don't go parading around with your boyfriends."
"I don't have a boyfriend!" Sasuke says incredulously. "I've never had one, because I didn't want to hear these exact words from you."
"Did she comment on that, Itachi?" Fugaku cuts in harshly.
Itachi shakes his head. "No."
"There we go," Fugaku placates Mikoto and Sasuke. "Let's not discuss it right now."
Sasuke stands up, leaving his dinner half-finished. "When have we ever discussed about it, anyway? When I came out to you, I was expecting some degree of acceptance. Not this shit."
"Language," Mikoto scolds. "What do you want from us? You're an Uchiha, Sasuke. Don't forget that."
"What does that even mean!" he yells. "How the fuck do you interpret our family name with sexual orientation? What fucking logic is that?"
"Language!" Mikoto raises her voice, as well. "We're Old Money, Sasuke. We have certain rules, certain values to uphold. Unnatural couplings are not part of it. We already tolerate you boys' various promiscuous activities."
"We were talking about Izumi," Fugaku reminds them sternly. "Like I said, let's not discuss this right now."
"I'm going out," Sasuke declares stiffly. "To engage in some more promiscuous activities."
"Sasuke," Mikoto admonishes. "Sit down."
"No."
After Sasuke storms out, Itachi focuses on chewing his food. He wants to go after him, but knows that if he does, Mikoto will only make things worse. The best thing to do in the current situation is to finish dinner as quickly as possible, and then find out where Sasuke went.
Regardless, he takes his phone out and types a quick text to Sasuke. Don't go far. I'm coming.
Then he sends another one to Kimimaro. Look after him.
And then Kakashi. Get your ass back. We have to go.
Lastly, to Banana Flyer. Not coming tonight.
She doesn't ask why. Alright.
He doesn't know whether to be glad or disappointed, but decides that he doesn't have the time to be either, and shoves the food down this throat.
Sai and Sakura are staring at him with identical what is he doing looks.
Itachi tries to ignore them as much as possible, as he rubs the lotion in his hands, between his fingers, massages the veins.
After he's done, he holds the bottle in their direction. "Want some?"
Sasuke is at Naruto's house with Hinata and Suigetsu.
Naruto's house is basically the upper two floors of his parent's bookstore. It's a decent place, Itachi thinks. Cosy and bursting with colours to the point where it hurts his eyes a little.
Minato and Kushina greet him with wide smiles and offer soda. Itachi declines and Minato shows him to Naruto's room, after Kushina gushes over how handsome he is, and how similar he and Sasuke look.
"It's like you're stuck between fraternal and identical twins," she jokes.
Sasuke is sitting on the bed with Suigetsu, and Hinata is in the desk chair. Naruto is pacing around the room, pausing for a second when Itachi enters.
"You look like your dad," Itachi tells him and joins Sasuke on the bed. "You okay?"
Sasuke shrugs. "Just sick of it."
"I'm really mad, though," Naruto declares and resumes his pacing. "I can't believe your parents are so orthodox even today, no offence. I mean, it's not as though anyone is going to give a shit if you're gay!"
"You'd be surprised," Suigetsu tells him. "We all grew up in an environment where upholding an image is everything. So everyone's business is everyone else's business." Naruto opens his mouth, looking scandalised, but Suigetsui continues. "I'm not justifying Sasuke's parents' behaviour. Namikaze, I understand what you're saying. And you're right. Ideally, it is no one's business what and who you are. And look at my family. We manufacture weapons for a living. This is not an ideal world."
"Then we have to make it into one!" Naruto explodes. "What's the fucking point of sitting on our asses, reading about this fucked up shit that happens in the world – in Sasuke's house, and do what? Nothing?"
"What can we do?" Hinata fidgets with her fingers. "Naruto, this is bigger than us. Bigger than you. Bigger than Sasuke. Our lives are predetermined by our families. Su is right. It's not an ideal world, and maybe that's how it's always going to be."
"No," Naruto refutes stubbornly. "It can be better. And – and I'm not denying that it's bigger than us. Of course, it is! But doing a small bit also helps. Showing Sasuke's parents that they're wrong is obviously going to be a huge deal thing to Sasuke. We can definitely do that for now, if nothing else!"
Minato is just opening the door with a food tray. He comes straight to Sasuke with it, throwing a mild, "Naruto, calm down." Two large sandwiches are cut up in triangles on a single plate. "Finish all of it," he says sternly. "Lick the plate if you have to."
Sasuke cracks a smile. "Thanks, Minato."
"Growing boys need proper nutrition," he remarks coolly and turns to his son. "Deep breaths."
"How!" Naruto flails his hands. "Dad, they're educated people!"
Minato merely stares back calmly. "Go and call your mother."
Naruto glares defiantly but leaves dutifully, yelling, "Moooom!"
"He gets it from Kushina, I swear," Minato says in the sudden silence. "He only looks like me."
Naruto practically drags his mother inside. "What's going on?"
Itachi watches with utter fascination how Naruto doesn't hold back a word as he explains that Sasuke and Itachi's parents don't like the fact that Sasuke is gay, and that their mother mocks him for it. Itachi thinks that maybe he should interrupt, defend his parents, stop the family name from being slandered in the Namikaze household, but he's simply too interested in their dynamics to do more than witness the scene.
And the thing is, Minato and Kushina don't interrupt him even once, not even when he uses curse words. They listen to their son attentively as though nothing in the world is more important than that, in this particular moment, as though Naruto is not a seventeen-year old high school student but an individual who commands respect.
After he's done, Kushina explains him how every parent is an individual with flaws at the end of the day. Minato reminds him of tolerance and patience and that if Sasuke ever needs reprieve, he's always welcome at their house regardless of time.
Itachi understands why Naruto hadn't hesitated in befriending Sakura on their school grounds, why he doesn't mind that Gaara barely speaks, and why he's never been scared of voicing his opinions and thoughts. For the first time, Itachi feels guilty for not standing up for the Namikaze kid. It's not about fighting his own battles, he thinks, Naruto can very well do that – clearly – but the obvious passion he has for doing the right thing feels rather contagious.
When they watch Deathly Hallows part two, Sakura holds his hand as the Prince's Tale plays out on the screen. And when Severus Snape is clutching Lily's dead body to his chest, Itachi squeezes back.
"So basically, Voldemort was born out of fabricated love," she says, frowning, sitting cross-legged on the bed with the blanket wrapped around her form.
Itachi is stretched out, shirtless, head pillowed on one hand, the other absently drumming a random tune on his abdomen. "Yeah."
"That must suck," she remarks.
He watches her silently. Sakura's hand reaches across the distance to grab the bottle of beer from the side-table and she takes a languid sip from it. The blanket slips down her shoulders at the movement.
Itachi wonders what she thinks about –
"Sit still, dobe!" Sasuke snaps for the umpteenth time, and Itachi rolls his eyes at the pair.
Naruto fidgets even more. "This is hard," he complains.
Sasuke groans loudly. "Fine," he hisses, pausing in his sketch. "Go take a run or something."
Naruto beams, immediately shooting up from the bench, jogging down the garden path.
Fugaku and Mikoto have decided to take one-week trip to the Bahamas, and Itachi and Sasuke decide to call everyone over. Naruto wastes no time in requesting for a sketch of his own, and so here they are – in their garden, Sasuke's easel set up, as the others bring out the grill and pop open beers, music flowing through the portable stereo in the middle.
Itachi wanders over to Sasuke's side and peers at the paper. He's managed to make the outline, at least, despite Naruto's various attempts to sabotage his own request. Sasuke has told him to sit on one of the garden benches, feet wide apart, fingers loosely intertwined, elbows on knees. Naruto has decided to wear his worn out orange jacket with the high black collars, an off-white loose T-shirt, blue denim, and black sandals. Light blonde hair as messy as always. Blue eyes piercing in the afternoon sun.
"This will take a long time," Itachi comments.
Sasuke sighs. "Yeah. It's alright." He begins to darken the outline and fill in the shadows until Naruto decides to return, having expended all built-up energy.
"Why the garden?" Itachi queries.
Sasuke frowns, his hand moving across the paper in expert strokes, and he answers without breaking the pace. "For me, Naruto is a personification of nature. The morning sunlight, budding fruits, blooming flowers, sharp grassblades, butterflies, snow and warmth. He's explosive, bursting through the frame. He's energy and growth. In this sketch, at least."
"Are you planning on making more?"
Sasuke shrugs lightly, fingers still steady. "We're not unilateral, Itachi. He might be all smiles and sunshine, but if you look closely, Naruto is angry as fuck. I can have him sit under the moonlight, paint it all silver, calm him down. On the other hand, if you provoke enough, even nature fights back – and then you have no choice but to brave the tsunamis, the earthquakes, and the floods."
Itachi studies his brother then, rather than the sketch. He feels a boiling in his gut, and wonders whether it is Sasuke feeling it. Sasuke has maintained a lot of times how I'm content in my life. Itachi wonders whether it still holds true.
Izumi posts on her social media account how her boyfriend treated her like nothing, how he couldn't tolerate her for being a girl, because she was expected to be submissive and forget her own life for the sake of that someone.
"This is my message to all the girls out there," she's saying in the camera, "we should stop letting them get away with this kind of behaviour. They don't understand how important a girl is in their life, because it's a man's world. It stops today. I vow in front of you all that I will show them what a girl can do. It's high time that they learn, wouldn't you agree? I will continue to fight against this patriarchal society. Stay strong, women!"
Itachi checks his phone one Monday evening after his piano class.
I hope you saw my video, you ass. You won't get away with this.
He locks his phone, and tells Kakashi to drive him to the motel. Sakura has an off tonight.
Teach my skin those new tricks
Warm me up with your lips
Heart to heart, melt me down
It's too cold in this town
Itachi finishes the song – it's one of Sakura's favorites, and she keeps requesting for it, and he doesn't mind, really, it's his favorite too – and tries not to squirm under their eyes.
Sai, Sakura, and Itachi are sitting on the bed in a small circle. There is a plate of dumplings in the middle that Itachi had bought on his way over from Kotoamatsukami. Shisui had asked him if everything was okay, because it's a known fact that dumplings are Itachi's guilty pleasure.
"Not for me," Itachi had told him. "For … friends."
Now, as he watches the two, he tries to mould what he feels towards them to fit the definition of friends. But he can't. He just can't. Itachi's friends are Konan, Kisame, Nagato, Yahiko, Zetsu. No, Sai and Sakura are definitely not his friends. They're more like … Naruto, perhaps. Whatever Naruto is to him.
"Another one," Sai says. "Wait, let me suggest … Something of Ed again … I see fire?"
"You can pick another artist," Itachi rolls his eyes.
Sai gives him a flat stare. "I know that, you asshole. It's just that – your voice is very suitable for the kind of songs he makes."
"Now that you say it …" Sakura trails off, eyes narrowed at Itachi.
Itachi shakes his head tiredly. "I am expecting a nice reward after this. Both of you."
"I'm not fucking you," Sai immediately declares, and Sakura bursts out in laughter.
"I'm not asking you to, you dipshit," Itachi retorts.
"Then what the fuck can I do for you, you bastard?"
Itachi mulls it over. "You know, I always did suspect you're good for nothing."
Sai isn't amused. "Just because you're rich, doesn't mean I'm good for nothing, you son of a bitch."
And Itachi heaves a long-suffering sigh. "I don't think you'd be good for anything even with money. You wanker."
"The only good thing about you, you dickhead, is Sakura." He waves his hand dismissively in his direction. "The rest of it is … well, nothing out of the ordinary."
"I'm smart, you know."
"And talented," Sakura adds in.
"Hundreds of students in my school are smart and talented," Sai shoots back instantly. "I could have Sakura meet any one of them."
"Please," Itachi rolls his eyes. "As if Sakura's taste is so mediocre."
"I'm right here," Sakura cuts in pointedly, and the two boys shut up at the tone. "Also, this reminds me. Sai – what happened to that chick you were planning on asking out?"
"Akari, wasn't it?" Itachi frowns. "What did she say?"
Sai purses his lips. "She said no."
"What? Why?" Itachi asks, surprised. Sai had told them about her a couple of times, and it had sounded as though she definitely was interested in him.
Sai shrugs as if it's not a big deal. Itachi exchanges a decisive look with Sakura.
And so Itachi begins, Oh, misty eye of the mountain below
Sakura picks up a dumpling from the plate and smashes it in Sai's mouth.
Itachi is called in to Dr. Orochimaru's office a week after Izumi's video becomes viral.
Itachi has been to meet with him for his yearly mandatory assessments, but he's never approached him on his own. Other than this, the man attends the yearly Christmas gala at Itachi's house. After Sora's death, Dr. Orochimaru was defamed for not having prevented it. The school management maintained the stand that a psychiatrist and client's relation is always an interactive process.
The office is the same as it has been throughout the years. A large mahogany desk is littered with a variety of objects, including a pen stand, stack of papers, odd titbits, and Itachi's favourite of all – a miniature drum set. A couch is pushed against one of the walls. There is a gigantic bookshelf on the wall behind the desk, and another one filled with trophies and medals.
Itachi takes his seat on the couch. Dr. Orochimaru's hair is tied in a ponytail at the nape of his neck with short fringe framing his angular face. He's wearing his usual choice of clothing: a pair of cargo pants, a loose Hawaiian shirt, and beads around his neck and wrist.
They get the small talk out of the way, and Dr. Orochimaru comes to the point. He asks him if he's aware of a certain video of Izumi, and Itachi doesn't play along; he says that he knows the reason for him being called, and can you just ask me it?
Dr. Orochimaru does. He asks Itachi how he feels about the video and what his thoughts are.
"It doesn't matter to me," Itachi says. "I have other things to focus on right now. Her video will be lost in hundreds that are posted on a daily basis. I don't see the point of reacting to it."
"I wish to speak with you regarding the content," Dr. Orochimaru says.
Itachi doesn't respond immediately. "You mean to say how she has accused that I did not treat her well because she is a girl? Do you want to check whether I'm a misogynist?"
"Do you think that you are?"
"No," Itachi replies instantly. "I don't think that I am."
Dr. Orochimaru watches him intently. "Sometimes, we don't realise that we are exercising misogynist thoughts and behaviour. It comes with the territory of being a male, unfortunately."
"You're wrong," Itachi insists. "I never treated her bad because she was a girl."
"Do you think that you treated her bad?"
"I treated her fine," he says. "I didn't see her as a girl, but just a person, and I treated her accordingly."
"And how would that be?"
"Why are you trying to convince me that I'm prejudiced against women, when I'm not?"
"I'm not trying to convince you of anything, Itachi," Dr. Orochimaru says calmly. "It's my responsibility to offer guidance and support, in case my students are at crossroads. With Izumi's video, it is easy enough to infer that she was speaking about you even if she doesn't explicitly say your name. There are many students in the school who feel that Izumi is right, and that you're a threat to equal social dynamics. They want to feel safe."
"Izumi is wrong," Itachi replies stiffly.
"Why don't we speak about the relationship that you two shared?"
"There's nothing to share," he insists. "You met her when Hinata and Konan brought her in, didn't you? She needed help, not me. She was very possessive and obsessive and tried to mould me to her liking. She would tell me what I'm supposed to be doing simply because I was her boyfriend. What right did she have on me to be saying that? I always saw her as a separate entity, not my Siamese twin. But, ironically, that was not returned."
"Ironically?"
Itachi's lips thin with frustration at the memory of it. "She always complained about how I spent more time with Sasuke and not her. Sasuke is my brother. What did she expect from me? That I'd forget him now just because she's in my life? Isn't that highly presumptuous of her?"
"Why do you think she'd insist on these ideas?"
"I don't know. Maybe her mother. Her mother is an overbearing person, who loves to micro-manage everything. Sasuke said this to me once, that Izumi was becoming more and more her mother by the day. And I noticed it when he pointed it out to me. Zetsu said that she might have victim mindset, and it made sense, too. Then Naruto spoke about how this thought process is being normalised, and it should be stopped. He asked me if it put pressure on me as her partner."
"Did it?"
"Of course, it did!" Itachi says impatiently. "Just because I'm a boy, no one will believe me, the same way they will believe Izumi because she's a girl. No one will bother learning the whole truth, from both sides, because they're not looking for the truth. They're looking for a controversial topic. They're looking to get angry.
"Even this conversation is pointless. I know that I've been stamped as a woman-hater, and it will never fade away, despite what I do. If they see me not reacting, they will think of me as arrogant and indifferent to the woes of them. If they see me doing a nice deed towards a girl, they will think that I'm making up for my past wrongdoings. If they see me saying a single bad thing to a person who happens to be a girl, they will believe that I am capable of nothing else.
"You called me to your office today because you were worried about the same, weren't you? You know that she needs help, but that will never be addressed. She's made some noise, and this is it. She's put a stamp on me, and nothing I do will change it."
This is why Itachi prefers to choose his conversations carefully. Izumi was wrong. Speaking with Itachi is not like pulling teeth, because he speaks plenty with Sasuke – and now Sakura, too. The reason is not that complicated. There is no need to read into it with depth. It's simple, really; Itachi speaks with them more freely than with anyone else because they listen.
Initially, Itachi did communicate with Izumi quite a bit. He found her interesting the moment she'd asked him have you ever felt caged? But the conversations became one-sided soon, with Itachi being the listener most of the times, and he finds it ironic that Izumi blames him for not speaking enough. How long can a person truly endure the same complaints over and over again? Itachi had his own things to deal with – yes, his piano, his dance, his friends, his life. It was always meant to be his, and he hates Izumi for twisting it into something that it wasn't, for twisting it in such a way that Itachi wanting to live his own life sounded like a crime. For trying to make him sound as though he is a robot. Itachi is not a robot. Just because he doesn't go around shouting his feelings and thoughts doesn't mean that they don't exist.
And now Izumi's video has already taken an effect around him. There are more stares, more whispers, and Itachi thinks that it will only be a matter of time when the stares will turn to glares, when whispers won't be whispers.
Dr. Orochimaru asks him how he feels about this behaviour, the "stamp" as he puts it.
"I don't know. They might move on, they might not. I don't see the point in discussing this, as I have already said. I cannot control the behaviour of others."
"Do you think that you can mould them, if not control them?"
"Why? What's the point? They're going to believe what they want. Besides, I don't care. I don't care what they think of me. Izumi is free to make one video daily how she was treated unfairly by me, and it doesn't matter to me."
When their time is up, Dr. Orochimaru tells him that Itachi can visit him whenever he wants, that his office will always be open for him. Itachi only nods and leaves.
Itachi buries his head in Sakura's lap, and she strokes his hair, absently humming the tune of Swan Lake.
"Tell me about your home," he mutters.
Sakura's fingers halt momentarily, but then she picks up the rhythm, and begins in a voice that twists Itachi's gut.
"Mama was the down-to-earth type. Very grounded. Papa always managed to get himself in some trouble or the other. He'd try to cook food all the time – despite being terrible at it. But he would do it anyway, because it made Mama happy. And I'd complain all through it. What did I do, I'd say, to deserve such deplorable quality of nourishment."
She pauses, voice cracking. Itachi tightens his arms around her waist, face still buried in her lap. And waits.
"We were a tight-knit community, all things considered. All of us were home-schooled. We had this old man – Sarutobi Hiruzen. But we called him The Professor. He was the most well-read person among us. He had this stupid goatee, which looked horrible on him. And he was very short. Sharp-tongued. Surprisingly quick on his feet.
"All of us kids were always very taken by our parents. And everyone drank beer. So we would sneak the bottles at night, meet at this one spot just beyond the fence, and drink. Just for the hell of it, despite none of us enjoying the taste. One day, Mei got so drunk, she ran amok hollering out stupid shit, and we were busted. Sarutobi lectured us for one week straight. I was eleven or twelve.
"And when they started complimenting me on my voice, I was gifted this MP3 player by my parents. Papa said that I'd become a huge singer one day, and I'd leave the trailer park. He would always tease me about – about how I'd forget them once I become famous.
"And – and then – Kakuzu – he made himself the leader, and I protested. My parents are the – the leaders, so that – didn't that make me the leader? Never listened to me though. And – there was this stupid competition – just us. But we never went to a – a proper school. So Sarutobi arranged it. I sang. I sang Elsa's song – you know the one? Let it go? I thought I'd definitely win – and then it turns out that – that Sarutobi had always planned on – on giving everyone a stupid medal. How un – unfair – is that?"
Itachi feels wet drops on his head, and Sakura keeps hiccupping through her story. And Itachi listens long into the night, doesn't interrupt, doesn't ask, doesn't let go of his hold.
And then one day, Sakura learns of Sora's death.
It's all very random. They're at Kamui, and Naruto insists upon Sakura joining them during her break. Itachi isn't all too happy with it, because he wanted to spend it with her alone. But there she is, smiling and laughing at Suigetsu's stories, and Itachi is watching her, and thinking – she's beautiful and how the fuck did I miss it until now?
He's musing over that, when her face suddenly becomes stiff, eyes flashing in his direction, and he immediately realises that something is wrong.
"He couldn't take it," Suigetsu is telling her. "But no one really knew him, you know? He had no friends."
Sakura's jaw is clenched, and she's standing up quickly. "Excuse me. Break time is over."
She rushes out of the room. Itachi stares after her, and without really giving it a thought, he follows, ignoring the puzzled questions. He finds her in the staff washroom. When he locks the door behind him, Sakura doesn't bother looking at him.
Her lower lip is trembling, and she's glaring at the floor, her entire weight against the wall. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asks in a shaky voice.
Itachi stands one feet away. "I'm sorry."
"Right. I mean, fine. You were under no obligation to inform me, I suppose. I shouldn't be angry with you."
"Sakura-"
"What?" she cuts in sharply, and faces him with angry green eyes, and Itachi shuts up. "He killed himself and I didn't even know. That feels fucking fantastic, you know that? What's another death after your own parents die? I guess I didn't know him all that well. If he was so sad in life, maybe I should have seen it. I fucked the guy, for god's sake! You'd think I'd know if he was planning to kill himself."
Itachi doesn't want to, but he feels a rush of jealousy coursing through his veins. He steps into her personal space, flushing the full length of his body against hers. Sakura tries to push him away and he holds her wrists.
"It wasn't your fault," he tells her firmly. "You couldn't have known."
She stops struggling gradually and rests her head on his chest, breathing rapidly. "I should have."
"No. Sakura, Sora needed help. Professional help. You … you both …"
"Fucked," she helps in a dry tone.
"That," he almost snarls. "Don't blame yourself."
Sakura looks up, right in his eyes, and challenges, "Say it. Sora and I fucked."
He swallows and presses into her more. "Don't be childish."
And she smirks, cold and cruel, and Itachi had forgotten that she could do it, and it sends a chill down his spine. "You want to know where we fucked? What positions we fucked in? What name I called out when he'd screw me senseless?"
"Sakura," he snaps angrily. "Stop it."
"Why? Are you jealous?"
He kisses her roughly, holding her hands captive above her head, and she kisses back hungrily, desperately. He rips off her black T-shirt and blue bra, shrugs out his own button down shirt, and she bites down his chest.
He doesn't bother with much foreplay. She's naked and pressed against the wall five minutes later, and Itachi holds her from behind almost painfully.
Her face is turned to look at him over her shoulder, and she gives him a flat, mocking stare. "I feel like I should tell you how Sora used to fuck me in the school itself. Did you know that, Itachi? Imagine it – you were there with Izumi somewhere, while we would sneak into the grounds and he'd make me strip down right there, where anyone could have seen."
Itachi's jaw clenches and his hands dig in her hips.
"You want to know something else? He once sneaked me inside the building, and we were in the broom closet. Maybe you were standing right outside? Maybe you heard the way he pounded me on the door, and I called out his name."
He bites down on her shoulder. Hard. "Stop it," he hisses. "I know what you're doing. You're angry and hurt and upset with me. I get it. But if you're thinking of anyone else when I'm fucking you, I'll make you pay for it."
"Yeah?" she challenges. "What will you do?"
And he rips her away from the wall, spins her around so that she's facing him.
"Get down on your knees," he barks.
"Or else what?" she raises her eyebrows coolly.
"Sakura," he growls, anger coursing through him now, because she's so –
He groans loudly in the silent space, and then he's backing her against the closed door. He unlocks it.
"Anyone could come in," he says. "This time, for real."
"Then I suppose we'll just have to see who it'll be."
"Yeah," he agrees.
They look at each other.
Itachi makes her brace herself with her hands as he thrusts inside her from the back.
"Don't you dare think of anyone else right now," he warns darkly. "Understood?"
She moans in answer.
Suddenly, there are voices outside the door and Itachi doesn't stop. Instead, he increases his pace, and Sakura trembles and shudders with the effort of not making any sound.
The door is tried a few times but it doesn't budge, and the voices eventually fade away in snickers and who the hell is screwing in there?
Itachi fucks her two more times later that night in the motel room, because he wants to replace the dead boy in her mind, and every boy that she will ever sleep with.
Sai signals them that the coast is clear, and Itachi and Sakura creep out of the motel room to where he is standing. The three of them tiptoe to the backside of the motel under the darkness of the night. Kakashi is waiting in the car as per usual, and Itachi waves his hand. The headlamps turn on.
"Are you sure about this?" Sai hisses lowly.
"Not really," Itachi whispers back.
"Relax, you guys," Sakura says, clutching Itachi's hand in hers.
Itachi and Sai both shoot her a look. They're sneaking in this manner for her sake, Itachi wants to remind her. Shin's house is right there a few yards down, silent and dark. It's 2.57 AM.
"Okay, let's do this," Sakura says bracingly. "Kakashi!" she calls out loudly.
"Shhh!" Sai glares at her. "Jesus."
Sakura ignores him. "Hit it, man!"
Closer by Chainsmokers start drifting through the car's speakers, spilling out the open windows, and the breaking the quiet of the night abruptly. Itachi and Sai only have time to exchange one last resigned stare between them before Sakura is pulling at their arms, bobbing her head to the music and hopping on her toes. Sai starts swaying his hips. Itachi, though, looks over at the small motel. Two rooms have turned on the lights, and it's only a matter of time before they'll come out to inspect the ruckus.
But then Sai is tugging at his elbow, shaking his head, grinning, and still swaying his hips.
"Fuck it," Sai advices him.
"Yeah!" Sakura cheers on, beaming, dancing. "Fuck it! Come on, Itachi. Dance! You know you want to!"
He does. He really does. He hesitates for another few moments, but watching Sai and Sakura now grasping hands and moving strangely makes him laugh breathlessly. His chest squeezes.
So Itachi dances. He joins the two in their strange moves, bobbing his head, hopping like Sakura, swaying his hips like Sai. Then Sakura is pulling Kakashi out the door. His guardian isn't amused whatsoever. He merely stands a little outside their tiny three-man circle with half-lidded eyes. Sai grabs Itachi's hand when the ending chorus comes up. Itachi laughs, puts his hands on Sai's hips, and they pretend to seduce each other – all the while, Sakura is in her world, and Itachi feels another squeeze in his chest.
Closer finishes, and Charlie Puth's Attention begins to play.
Shin's house is still dark and silent. However, four other occupants of the motel rooms have come out to see what's happening. There's a moment as Itachi, Sai, Sakura stare at them – still moving their feet, grinning, swaying – and they stare back blankly, until two of the men in their twenties step forward.
They dance for a good half an hour under the open sky, with Kakashi standing guard, space flooded bright white.
Uroko is a backpacker, only 25 years old, and comes from a small town.
"Really small," she says as they sit on the ground with the car's headlamps still on. They are passing a bottle of scotch between themselves. "My parents died when I was nineteen – got the call during my physics class. Still remember that clear as a day. I pulled out of college immediately. Now I travel. Life is too short, I realised."
Haku nods seriously, a tiny frown between his eyebrows. "I know what you mean. I lost my parents when I was very small. I must have been four, I think. My uncle took me in. But then he died, too. Heart disease. Always told him to eat well, but he kept shoving down wrong kinds of food down his throat. Hardly a surprise when he got a heart attack, I tell you. I finished my high school somehow, with foster care. But my stepfather was a real ass."
Haku pauses, takes a deep breath. "Always came in my room during the night when the wife was asleep. He'd put his hand on my mouth to make sure I don't shout. I was always told how beautiful I looked. How lucky I am. I see all these people out in the world who worry over acne, or a badly shaped nose, or their tattooed beauty spots. It sometimes makes me mad, you know? Because this whole 'looking beautiful' thing didn't exactly pan out well for me. I mean, there have been so many times I wished that I looked ugly. Maybe my stepfather would have left me alone, then."
Itachi finds himself unable to look away from Haku. He truly is a beautiful boy – 22 years old, long straight hair, appealing facial structure. He's the kind who could rival Hinata easily if their physical appearances were to be compared. But Haku is now fidgeting with his fingers, staring at the ground.
"Let's beat him up," Arashi nudges Haku's shoulder. "We'll all go! Right, guys?"
Itachi nods instantly along with the others. He doesn't like violence, he never hits anyone. But he feels anger coursing through him on Haku's behalf, and believes that – if nothing else – he can always have Kakashi do the honour.
Hokushin drags on his cigarette, offers it to Haku. He declines.
"Haku," Sakura says solemnly. "You're beautiful. Never let anyone make you feel otherwise, or make you hope for otherwise. There will always be people who will be jealous of it."
Itachi side-glances her. "You say it to me as if it's a curse," he reminds her dryly.
Sakura grins up at him. "I'm jealous."
He simply shakes his head.
"What about you, Arashi?" Haku asks.
Arashi is the youngest. He takes a swig of the scotch before answering. "I'm searching for my family, actually. I was sold to a businessman when I was ten. The fucker got caught five months ago, and I'm on the road since then."
"Why are you trying to find your family?" Sai frowns. "If they sold you, then why bother?"
"To spit in their faces," Arashi says without missing a beat. "Quite literally."
Hokushin claps him on the shoulder. "Amen, brother."
"Hokushin?" Sakura asks.
"Traveling musician," Hokushin replies. "Just staying for a week or so, and I'll be on my way."
"What do you play?" Itachi asks with interest.
"Flute. You play?"
"Piano."
"Nice," Hokushin grins.
"Can you play something for us?" Sai requests.
Hokushin nods. "Sure. Let me get my flute."
He rises to his feet and retreats to his room to bring the instrument. Meanwhile, they drink and smoke in silence. Kakashi is sitting with them now, but he doesn't interrupt. Merely listens with hands draped over his knees.
Hokushin plays Despacito. The notes echo in the space, and it has everyone bobbing their heads within ten seconds. Itachi mentally praises the man for his effort to uplift their spirits as Sai hooks his arm with Itachi's, and throws him a small smile. Sakura grabs his other hand.
It's a Sunday, and Utakata has let Itachi enjoy the holiday for once. Sasuke calls over Naruto – politely extending the invitation to his boyfriend – but the blonde shows up alone. Now, the three of them are languidly swimming in the pool under the afternoon sun, playing light music on the portable stereo. Their cook has outdone himself, yet again, and heaps of snacks with suitable alcohol are placed near the edge. Itachi comes to a halt after another two laps to check his phone. He'd sent a selfie of himself in the water to Sakura ten minutes ago.
She's sent one in return – it's her and Sai, lying on their backs on the muddy ground, smiling cheekily at him through his screen.
"You broke up?" Sasuke's voice cuts through Itachi's thoughts. He turns to watch his brother and the blonde, a little ways down, bobbing aimlessly.
Naruto nods, splashing water with no particular direction. "Yeah. Last night."
Itachi can feel Sasuke's cautious glee inside himself.
"Why, Namikaze?" Itachi calls out with amusement, placing his phone back on the pool chair. "The sex wasn't good enough for you?"
Naruto rolls his eyes. "No, that's not it."
"Oh?" Itachi continues innocently.
Sasuke is smirking openly.
"He just …" Naruto stammers, splashing more water. "I mean, there was nothing wrong with him. But he was – how do I put this? So he liked me, right? And sure, he was alright. But he just – his opinions were very … conventional. Nothing wrong with that, obviously! It just became a huge turn-off for me personally. I don't know. Something was missing."
"Yeah? Well, too bad," Sasuke says, and Itachi tries not to roll his eyes at his brother's obvious lying face.
There's a firefly loose tonight
Better catch it before it burns the place down
And I lie if I don't feel so right
But the world looks better through your eyes
Itachi finishes the song, his voice soft in the quiet of the room, under the warm glow of the bedside lamp. He's lying on his stomach, face turned to one side. Sakura is stretched out on top of him, head to toe, and her hair trickles down to spill over his eyes.
"Itachi?"
"Hmm?"
"Again?"
He smiles. "On one condition."
"Yeah?"
"You have to sing, too."
And so they begin –
I fell in love next to you
Burning fires in this room
The lyrics mentioned belong to Ed Sheeran's Firefly. I highly recommend listening to the song. It sums up this chapter pretty perfectly.
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