Well, folks. We officially have our Shamy... but now I will remind you of the timing of the story, sad to say... 2020 roars with the sound of thousand dumpster fires falling over a cliff...
Sheldon
For the first time in known history, Sheldon was speechless. Sheldon had returned to the kitchen and made Amy the promised cup of tea, and they had been sitting quietly on his leather couch for over 15 minutes, sipping their tea and exchanging quick smiles before Amy's eyes would dart around the room like a detective; looking at anything other Sheldon.
Sheldon had experienced paralyzing nerves before when he had to do public speaking. But sitting next to Amy, this was a whole new level as he found himself censoring every thought before he could utter it. He realized this is what normal people must feel like, and he didn't like it.
The heat from her body warmed him as they sat three inches apart on the couch. He could hear every breath she took in the silent room. He thought if he listened intensely, he would hear her heart beat, but as good as his Vulcan hearing was, that might be just wishful thinking.
He started to speak just as she did and after a dual of "Oh, no... please you continue... No you... Please." He gave up.
Jumping up suddenly, he excused himself and ran to his bedroom. He closed the door and before this panic attack could take hold, he wiped off his sweaty palms and pulled out his phone.
"I need your help." He texted and waited for the reply as he paced around his bedroom.
"What can I do for you?"
"How do you talk to a woman?"
"Just as you would a man, or does your sexist based question have an ulterior motive."
Sheldon breathed an exhaustive sigh and typed back, "Smarty pants. I mean a woman you care about."
"Oh, that's different." Smiley face emoji.
"I know, so spill it."
"You can start by introducing yourself, establish expectations and ask her about herself."
"Introduce myself. Expectations. Got it."
"Don't forget, ask her about herself, so it shows interest and let the conversation go from there."
"Thank you, Amy. You've been very helpful."
"Anytime, now if you will excuse me, I'm with someone and I expect he will be back at any moment."
"Lucky guy." Sheldon said out loud. He took a deep breath and exited his room. Amy had just put away her phone and picked up her tea mug to hide her smirk as he joined her on the couch.
He turned toward her and said, "Yes, well, I'm happy to meet you. I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, youngest winner of the Stevenson Award." Sheldon paused then said, "I would expect you would like to hear all about me so that you know I'm not a raving lunatic or a deranged art history aficionado."
"I already know that, but please continue."
Sheldon rattled off his curriculum vitae and Amy listened intently for over 15 minutes without a word.
At one point in the conversation, Amy took out her phone and texted someone.
Sheldon thought this to be a little rude, but he continued his story. "I'm currently working on dark matter at Cal Tech, however, my interests have peeked to-" His phone beeped.
"You didn't take my advice." Amy had texted him the same phrase again. "Don't forget, ask her about herself, so it shows interest and let the conversation go from there."
Sheldon's face flushed with embarrassment, and he put his phone away, "Um... tell me about yourself."
Amy's smile showed off her perfect teeth as she spoke. Sheldon listened just as attentively as she now told him about her background, her studies, and her history, all the more interesting now without the filter of anonymity.
They discussed her work, her authored papers, and then the coincidence of meeting Bernadette at a conference and the unusual development of a friendship with Penny. When he learned that Amy had been over to Penny's apartment he remembered how he had thought he had heard her voice and gone to investigate.
As he sat there thinking about this, numbers burst into his head and he started to expound on how low the odds were that they had met as they did. Suddenly, Amy stood to leave. Sheldon was disappointed at her leaving so soon. He wanted to talk to her more, get a new degree in the intense study of Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler. When Amy pointed out that she had been there almost 5 hours he was surprised how quick the time had gone.
"I know you have a 10 PM bed time." She tapped her watch.
Amy stood at his door for a moment before she left. Her beautiful green eyes stared up at him, almost longingly as if she was waiting for something. Sheldon wished he could send her a quick text asking what was going on in her brilliant head. He was just about to reach out and kiss her. Just a quick kiss, maybe on her cheek, or just a short peck, he didn't want her to hit him with her purse for being a masher, but before he could move, she turned and rushed down the stairway.
Sheldon turned and shut the door just as his phone rang. Looking at the caller id, he was surprised it had taken this amount of time for her to ring.
"Penny? What do you want?" Sheldon cleaned up while he held his phone in the crux of his neck listening to Penny prattle on.
"The goods! You better spill it! The whole group dropped their jaws when we realized your mystery girl was our AMY!"
Sheldon snapped back to Penny's suggestion, "She's NOT your Amy. She's my Amy. I found her first."
"Fine fine...But we've been talking to her for months! We made her go over there, practically had to push her out the door." Penny squealed so loudly that Sheldon had to pull the phone from his ear. "OH MY GAWD! We were going to send her over to your apartment, can you image. God, tell me you go pictures! What did you talk about, are you going to date? Can you believe the odds that Amy was the same woman I was going to set you up with?"
He heard Bernadette yelling in the background, "'I WAS GOING TO FIRST!'"
"Amazing odds." Sheldon smiled as he remembered the figures he had related to Amy, "In fact, on average, the odds of finding a person you are compatible with enough for love is 562 to one, so 5125 almost tenfold-"
"Love?" There was a thud as the phone hit the floor. Sheldon assumed that Leonard must have picked it up as he heard him mutter something about needing a new phone as he handed it back to Penny. Ignoring her husband's comment, Penny gasped, "Did you say love?"
"Sorry Penny, I will have to call you back." Sheldon hung up before Penny could mine him for any more information or press him on his admission. But the facts were clear. Sheldon was in love. Not some hormone driven lust fest like most of his friends, nor a brain parasite. This love was built on their virtual relationship and mutual respect. He had fallen in love without seeing her. He had proved a theory; physical contact wasn't needed to form deep emotional attachments.
He wondered how far this limited physical relationship could go. Could they form a lasting relationship that would result in marriage, possibly children? Their children would be a gift to humanity. Perhaps he could send her his chromosomes, like Fed XY, the XY being for Chromosomes. Sheldon giggled at his brilliant idea. He would have to email her about it.
Sheldon finished cleaning up and sat at his computer to research everything he could about Amy Farrah Fowler. By the time she arrived home, he had emailed her with a list of questions that would rival any SAT test including his suggestion about children.
Amy texted him back.
"We can discuss your email and many other topics you have suggested. I have to say, your witticism about Fed Ex for procreation caused me to snort, which I believe was the intent. Are you still interested in continuing our 9 PM check in?"
"Very interested." Sheldon text back. "Thank you for coming over tonight."
"I'm glad I did."
Sheldon spent the rest of the evening and the next day working on their relationship agreement to codify a schedule so that he would have no further interruptions to his routine.
He included regular check in's via video and their Thursday sessions of physical release would continue, though he did not specify if they would be on video or not. The idea of seeing Amy in a Star Fleet uniform almost caused him an unscheduled release session. He used Kolinahr to suppress the feeling and continued his work.
Since Thursdays were already special, he added one in- person date every third Thursday or fourth on a month with five Thursday to be followed by a kiss, on the lips lasting no shorter than 27 seconds, and no longer than 35 seconds. No tongue.
Their first date would be March 19th, 2020. A long eleven days away.
#
Amy
Amy's long drive home seemed to take just minutes but time felt different somehow. She couldn't believe the fact that Sheldon was Penny's neighbor and she had been to that exact apartment building before. Amy didn't believe in luck. That was for the weakest minds who couldn't understand statistics, but she had to agree with Sheldon's calculations. The odds were low. Sheldon had calculated it for her that evening before she said goodbye. "5,125 to one."
"Really?" Amy nearly spit out her tea.
"If you factor our average age, our background in science, the likelihood that someone of your caliber would even entertain a friendship with Penny and also-"
Amy tilted her head in confusion. "But you're friends with Penny."
Sheldon shrugged, and said flatly, "She grows on you. Like a fungus."
"So beneficial, meaning she helps decompose unwanted feces in your life, while also helping you rise up, like yeast in bread?"
"Exactly. A fungus. Anyway, would you like to see my math?" Sheldon sat up to get a pad of paper, but Amy stopped him.
"I have no doubt it's correct. I guess we are special. Kind of 5125 to one kind of special."
"Yes. I concur." Sheldon licked his lower lip before he smiled.
Amy had never swooned before, never in her life had she felt that weightless feeling she had seen described in books or displayed across a screen. However, when Sheldon smiled, a crooked smug grin like the man knew he could undress her with his calculus, Amy swooned. Even though she was seated, her knees gave out. She had had to leave his apartment before she fell apart.
When she returned home, Amy checked her phone. Over ten missed calls from Penny and Bernie asking for the "goods". She wrote them back and promised a girls night and she would tell them every detail. That seemed to placate them for a while. Amy checked her computer for the evening, she found that Sheldon had already written her an extensive email. She nearly choked when she read about having children. Albeit via in-vitro fertilization, but still he desired siring children, a thought she had never considered. However, for a moment, it seemed possible. In fact, many things she had ignored during her whole solitary life now seemed possible.
She let her mind drift to areas unknown to her previous single life, like maybe they could go on dates like other couples, share French fries, wear matching costumes at Halloween. Perhaps they could hold hands, and maybe even kiss without it being scheduled. He would hold her whenever she was sad. He would take care of her when she was sick. They could snuggle and watch their favorite shows together. They could curl up next to each other in bed and drift off to sleep.
She sighed, remembering their goodbye at his door that evening. She had so wanted to kiss him goodbye. Just a short peck on the cheek, maybe something akin to the kiss he had given her before. Yes, he had told her that he wanted a romantic relationship, he had even gone so far as to talk about kissing, but this was still all new territory for him, and she knew that she would have to go at his pace, so she had held back.
Their new agreement was a step forward, albeit baby steps and Amy accepted that any relationship with Sheldon Lee Cooper would take years. However, she basked in a satisfied glow as she prepared herself for bed. It was evident that she was important enough to him for Sheldon to take these steps, and she loved him enough not to give up.
#
Sheldon
A few days later, Sheldon sat at his computer, adjusted the screen, placed the handle of the mug of hot Earl Grey tea at a perfect 45-degree angle and waited for Amy's call. He had been self-isolating for seven days after two screeners at LAX tested positive for the new COVID Virus. Sheldon knew it was just a matter of time before the virus found its way to California. So far, the news reported no cases in Pasadena; however, they hadn't implemented a rigorous nationwide testing and Sheldon was taking no chances.
During that time, he had ordered all the necessary supplies, enough food to feed his father's high school football team, including toilet paper that that same team would have used on a rival's house, Sheldon liked to be prepared. He had also instructed his friends that the intellectual salon of 4A was temporarily closed as he would not allow any group dinners be held in the apartment.
He now worked at home, with three white boards and no distractions. His work had picked up since he stopped going to Cal-tech. No longer was he burdened by the long lunches with the group that had sapped his time. He could concentrate and focus on his new theory.
The laptop issued Amy's alert and Sheldon smiled before he hit the reply key.
"Hello, Dr. Fowler."
"Hello Dr. Cooper."
The rest of the evening they chatted about their day, their work, what they had for dinner, and then before he knew it, the alarm rang for the call to be over. Sheldon said his goodbyes and cleaned the apartment before he retired for the evening. Wearing his favorite pajamas, he stood in the kitchen. As he sipped his sleepy-time tea he looked at his spot, and in his mind's eye he saw his friends surrounding him.
Though they still spoke on the phone and had video calls, he knew that Leonard and Penny had moved on with their lives. The 2 mini Wolowitz's were busy bringing up their children, and Raj and his girlfriend had published so many couples' pictures on Instagram that Sheldon could paper the wall with them if he wanted to.
He didn't want to admit he missed the group gatherings and the banter, but at this late evening hour, as he heard the hum of electronics instead of his friend's laughter, he had to say he had a moment of melancholy. Sheldon shrugged off the unfamiliar feeling and retired to bed. He set his phone to usual white noise: A recording of Leonard's snoring through the walls and he drifted off to sleep.
The week of his first date, everything changed.
March 12th Disneyland closed.
March 13th: National emergency
March 13th: California schools closed
March 16th: Restaurants asked to do take out only
March 19th: State wide Shelter in place.
March 19th – the date of their first date. Sheldon called Amy the afternoon after the Shelter in Place order was given. Through the video chat, he saw Amy in full scrubs, including a face mask. She was cleaning beakers while she talked to him.
"I am just finishing up work at the lab. I don't know how I am going to work without my equipment. I guess now is the time to take up a new hobby... re-read my Nancy Drew collection, maybe learn tai chi or ribbon embroidery… I just don't know."
Sheldon, dressed for his date, slumped in his spot. He had felt disappointment before. As a child he was saddened when no one came to his Nobel Prize party or he wasn't picked for the science field trip. As an adult he had been upset when they canceled Firefly, and replaced Leonard Nimoy with Zachary Quinto but this crushing feeling was a new low.
He loosened his tie and let out a large sigh. Amy stopped her cleaning and looked into the camera.
Amy said, "I take it by your body language that you want to cancel our date."
"What date? We can't go to the restaurant I planned and the escape room won't refund me the deposit."
Amy shrugged, "I don't see why we can't have our date. We can eat dinner together at our separate houses, we can plan a better escape room puzzle than anyone else, we can even still do the dance I suggested."
"I don't see how we can possible go salsa dancing over video." Sheldon crossed his arms and pouted.
"I see. So you want to miss out on my killer moves." Amy twirled around and shook her hips back in forth in perfect rhythm.
Sheldon sat up and watched, but a new crushing weight of disappointment overtook him, and he fell back in his spot with a hard slam.
"The whole date is ruined."
"Sheldon. You and I have developed a great relationship without even seeing each other. We can continue that and still be fine. This is just a temporary setback. I doubt this Shelter in Place will go much further than April. May... tops."
"MAY! We have to wait two months before our date!"
"April then. I'm sure everything will be fine." Amy took off her mask, put two fingers to her lips and then to the camera. "There. You got your kiss."
Sheldon could barely form a smile. He tried to tell himself that this date was just for Amy. She was the one who wanted physical contact. She was the one who needed the kiss goodnight. She was the one who renegotiated the relationship to include holding hands outside of the required parameters of flu shots. Sheldon didn't need it. He didn't need it. He didn't need it.
Repeating it didn't help.
Sheldon noticed Amy's attire. He could barely see her under her paper gown and full-face mask. There was no way she could contract anything, but it did give him an idea. "Do you have any more of those clean room gowns, and masks?"
"Of course. I have all the required equipment to run a clean lab, including non-latex gloves. Why?"
"Maybe you can put some of those in your car when you leave tonight?"
Amy stopped working again, and glared into the camera. "You would risk contracting a virus for our date night?"
"I guess not..." Sheldon said, "But get some anyway."
I've been working on this story for a while, but really most of this was written in August and September. Funny how life is, here we are back in lock down (in some areas). I hope everyone is staying safe and well out there, no matter where in the world you are.
I also want to thank you for the reviews so much. I cannot tell you how they got me through the last week. Thank you so much!