Chapter Eighteen: The Abyss
The two of them walked away from the tracks as quickly as they could and into the barrens. To the east, Cloud could see several ruins, set upon a hill. They were not like the buildings he'd seen in the Wutai Villages. Those had slanted roofs with unique designs and were made mostly of wood.
These, however, looked like the castles Cloud had read about in the Shinra mansion. Several towers had fallen, but the structure as a whole stood tall. And as they walked toward it, Cloud felt a sense of homecoming, but in the bleakest of ways. As if one had returned to a place long-loved and found it destroyed. A place with your friends and family, having forgotten your name.
"So what now?" asked Snow as they walked. "That Mako Lab ain't looking too friendly now. So what's the plan?"
Snow was looking for Cloud for the plan? Making that phone call had been his plan; after that, he'd only had a general idea of escape. But escape to where? And even if he did get off Wutai, would Father even believe him?
If it was in his own best interest, perhaps.
A broken feeling fell over Cloud as he realized that Father, no, President Shinra, did not care about him. He'd always had it, growing inside him since he left. It had just been covered up for months by speeches of new orders of master races and gods in human form. Yet he'd known it. The boy from Nibeilheim pointed out that Shinra had provided him with those books. He'd offered him a chance to become his heir.
But Shinra was a rich man. What were a few books to him if it bred a valuable tool? And the chance to become his heir? What nonsense. Lazard was far more accomplished than Cloud would ever be. Sephiroth was his doing.
And he'd been passed over for Rufus.
Rufus might have been smart, but he had none of Lazard's achievements. It wasn't meritocracy that put him in place, but nepotism. Rufus had always been the favorite and always would be the favorite. Perhaps if Rufus became a drunken, incompetent fool, he'd be passed over, but only at the last resort. Rufus was always Plan A, and Shinra was only offering the opportunity to be Plan B.
President Shinra didn't care about meritocracy. He didn't care about efficiency, and he didn't care about Cloud. Neo-Midgar wasn't his dream; it was a pet project he pursued as a means of gaining still more power. Why would President Shinra want to uplift the humanity he held in such abject contempt?
"Cloud?" asked Snow.
Above all, Cloud could not admit that he had no plan. Once he admitted to Snow, to himself, that the situation was out of his control, he'd go mad. So come up with some theories on what will happen and base a plan on them. "Angeal will probably make something up about us being fugitives to hunt us down. Or he might just leave us alone and hope we disappear." Probably the latter. "Either way, Sephiroth knows something is going wrong here.
"So long as he decides to investigate it, or even report the fact, we should be golden. That means we've got to lay low for a bit."
"What if Sephiroth is in on it, though?" asked Snow.
Cloud paused. "Then...
"Well, I'm out of ideas. I guess we could smuggle ourselves back to Midgar and report in, but we'd need some actual evidence for that."
"Fine then, let's raid the Hollander Lab and see what we can find," said Snow. "Since when have heroes needed to knock?"
"That could work," admitted Cloud. "He probably has documents on what he's doing. And Lazard is having him do something that's illegal. Otherwise, he wouldn't have been shipping the wounded and disloyal here. And even if Sephiroth is on our side, it could help.
"But we've got to disappear before we do that. Angeal is going to be on high alert and at Hollander's Lab. He won't expect us to attack directly, so he'll probably head back to Lazard on the next train.
"We're just grunts who know too much, and we've already done the worst thing they can imagine us doing. Lazard has bigger fish to fry than us."
"Well, that's how heroes start out, I guess," said Snow. "We heading to that castle?"
"Where else?" asked Cloud. "Look at those clouds."
The clouds were gathering darkly above them, threatening rain. They needed to get shelter and soon. And so they walked, and Cloud took the chance to take an inventory of their supplies. He'd made sure they both had a week's rations when they headed out, but water could be a problem. Their canteens were full, but...
Well, the castle had probably been built on some kind of water source.
"How'd you know we'd have to travel?" asked Snow.
"I didn't," said Cloud. "But, I've theorized that there was a conspiracy since we got here."
"You did?" asked Snow. "You're pretty smart."
"No, I'm normal," said Cloud. "I've just learned a lot. You could do this too if you put in the effort."
"What do you mean?" asked Snow.
"Alright, well," Cloud sighed. "Most people have a list of things in their minds that are impossible. A sort of mental status quo that defines their world, and they are very protective of it.
"War is bad, for instance.
"Plenty of people claim that war is bad without ever having been in a war for real. They don't know that war is bad. But they trust the stories they've heard about it in passing. Now, maybe war is bad, but they haven't been to war. And they haven't put the research in to know for certain even indirectly.
"It's a default setting in their minds; they don't change.
"Now, status quo thinking is useful. It helps you focus on living your life and not worry about things that aren't beyond your control. But it can also be dangerous.
"When we were shot down, did you ever consider that Lazard might be behind the massacre?"
"No," said Snow. "Of course not!"
"Why not?" asked Cloud.
"Well, I...
"Why would he massacre his own men?!" said Snow.
"There could have been incentives to do it," said Cloud. "There usually are for atrocities. Atrocities are uncommon because most people aren't willing to massacre villages. They have to be trained to go past their inhibitions.
"Why specifically did you think he didn't do it?"
"...I didn't even think it was possible," admitted Snow. "I mean... to do something like that."
"Exactly," said Cloud. "That's exactly my point.
"You had it drilled into you during training to follow orders and that the High Command could be trusted. This was natural since the news drilled into you from birth that President Shinra is a visionary. A benevolent first citizen who takes care of his own.
"You automatically default to this status quo when you are at a loss."
"So why didn't you?" asked Snow.
"During my journey past Fort Condor," said Cloud. "I saw a General, Heidegger, lead his men into an ambush. He then abandoned them to die by the hundreds. It never got into the news, he suffered no consequences, and he was recently promoted.
"That told me everything I needed to know about the High Command.
"The High Command is an organization willing to tolerate mass casualties. And they won't punish the general responsible, no matter how stupid and cowardly. Which means the absolute worst part of the officer core won't be weeded out. Especially since many of them were members of them were nobles from the old Kingdom of Midgar. Now consider what kind of community that would build in the officer core?
"They would have to regard ordinary soldiers with contempt and as subhuman. Because if they didn't, they'd have to admit that they were letting real people get slaughtered. Anyone who regarded soldiers as a human would be an outcast for reminding them of what they really are. They'd hate what they represent and find excuses to have their careers destroyed. And President Shinra would cooperate in appeasing his favorites. He doesn't care about ordinary soldiers as long as they fulfill their use.
"From there, all you need to do is have a high up officer decide to go rogue. And there's nothing standing between him and massacring his own men. He has been trained by the company he keeps to regard us as subhuman. And now that he's on Wutai's side, we become monsters to be purged.
"If I didn't abandon my status-quo thinking, would I have come to any of that as a conclusion?"
"...No," said Snow. "But I guess I know better now."
"Not really," said Cloud. "I mean, you've seen the truth. But you haven't actually gotten rid of your reliance on status quo thinking. You can't do it that quickly. It takes discipline and training, you have to be willing to see truths you don't like."
"What do you mean?" asked Snow. "I'm on your side, aren't I?"
"Status quo is not internally consistent, and it's not rational," said Cloud. "It's a set of pre-set beliefs with varying degrees of priority. Your priority, I guess, is first to be a hero, and that is more important to you than being an obedient soldier.
"So when your friend reveals that there's an evil conspiracy out to get you. It factors well into your heroic narrative. You've amended your status quo and made it more consistent with reality. But you haven't abandoned the framework which we've all been tied to from birth."
"Well, based on that," said Snow, "why should I trust you?"
"You shouldn't," said Cloud. "Did you consider the possibility that I was completely nuts? That this entire conspiracy was imagined out of thin air."
"Actually, yeah," said Snow. "Thing is, I saw a lot of weird things myself. Didn't make the connection right away. But what you were saying clicked."
"Well," said Cloud. "Good, I guess.
"I'm glad someone thinks I'm sane."
By now, they'd neared the base of the castle gates, and Cloud realized it was far larger than he expected. As they halted, however, there was a click. Both halted, and Cloud looked back to see Lightning, holding an assault rifle.
"Done with your speeches," said Lightning.
Before Cloud could move, Barret stepped around the corner, gun leveled on them. Cloud reflected that they could be dead in a minute. Raising his hands, he paused. "Oh, Barret.
"Well, this is a problem. Are you still working with Lightning?"
"For the present," said Lightning, moving forward. "We should kill them, Barret."
"Put the damn sword down, Lightning," said Barret. "Don't you see they're on the run?"
"They could be spies," said Lightning.
"If we were spies, why would we pretend to go rogue by blowing a hole in a train and leaping out of it?" asked Snow.
Lightning paused. "...Point taken.
"What do you want?"
"At the moment?" asked Cloud. "I want to know what Hollander is doing inside that lab."
"Weren't you heading to your new Shinra pals to see?" asked Barret.
At that moment, Jessie stepped around the gates. "Hey, Barret, the fires up. We can-" Then she saw Cloud and ran forward to hug him. The feeling of her against him was... good. Especially with how she'd developed. "Cloud!"
"Oh, hey Jessie," said Cloud. "How have you been?"
"This the girl from back home?" asked Snow.
"No, we met on our travels," said Cloud.
"So you got out?" asked Jessie, breaking the hug. "Did you defect from Shinra yet?"
"Not exactly," said Cloud. "I became inconvenient for someone who is working against Shinra. The guy you were working for until you started shelling his base."
"Lazard, you mean?" asked Lightning.
"I did think it was Lazard; thank you for confirming," said Cloud.
"Wait, we're working for Lazard?" asked Jessie frowning. "I thought we were working for Genesis."
"You thought Genesis was in charge of the operation?" asked Cloud, staring at her in disbelief. Had she even been thinking?
"It wasn't that unlikely," said Jessie.
"He's insane!" said Cloud. "Genesis couldn't plan a frontal assault, let alone a proper trap! Barret, you can't seriously tell me you thought he was the main operator here?"
"I didn't care," said Barret with a shrug.
"You didn't care?" asked Cloud. "Didn't you want to know who you were working for?"
"I knew it was some Shinra scumbag. And that he was planning to kill another Shinra scumbag, by saving Wutai," said Barret. "So I figured I'd reduce the scumbag population and save Wutai. Since Wutai was in on it, I figured they'd vetted him anyway.
"Pretty good month, all things considered."
"Where's Marlene?" asked Cloud. "Is she safe?"
"Yeah, she's safe," said Barret. "And I ain't telling you where. You might just decide to tell someone. You sold out to Shinra."
Snow suddenly seemed to realize he was talking with the man who massacred his battalion. He clenched his fist. "We sold out?! You massacred an entire battalion!"
He stepped forward before Lightning put a sword to his neck. Had her gun turned into that. "Try it, Snow, see what happens."
However, even as they tried, there was a shudder, and Lightning stepped back. Her sword fell from her hand to land on the dirt. Snow whirled around and raised a fist, only for his arm to go limp. Cloud looked around.
"What is this?" he asked.
"No violence can happen in this place," said Barret. "Kind of figured it might be limited to the inside of the castle, though."
"Why not?" asked Cloud.
"This is Camelot," said Lightning. "This is where King Arthur and his Knights once ruled the world.
"Professor Gast, along with Hojo and Hollander, ordered a lot of digs in this area. Whatever it is, they didn't find it. They found these ruins, and they found another set where the Mako Lab is now.
"It used to be a lake, back then."
"I remember that," said Snow. "They were looking for Excalibur. But they never found it. Why'd they drain the lake?"
"Why bother with underwater searches when you can just destroy the lake?" asked Lightning. "They did find a Mako Spring though, and they slapped a reactor on it. Ever since then, this entire region has been deserted."
"That was before the Wutai war, wasn't it?" asked Cloud. "Before Wutai nationalized all of Shinra's factories."
"Um..." Jessie paused. "Who's King Arthur? I'm not really big on history."
"I'll tell you inside," said Cloud. "It's going to rain soon."
"Point," said Barret. "Let's get out of here."
Together they walked into the gates and to the castle beyond. It was a ruin, certainly, but there remained a certain majesty to it. Cloud looked at places where stained glass windows had once been. He wondered what they meant. At last, they sat down around a fire Jessie had started, right before the rain began.
"So," said Jessie. "You said something about King Arthur?"
Cloud looked at her and wondered what books she had read. Everyone should read books. "Legends say that after Sin was destroyed, there was a period of peace and prosperity. Yet without the threat of Sin, mankind grew complacent and began to fight among one another. The Ronso, regaining their population, began to invade other lands. Their kinship with the fiends allowed them to do immense damage.
"Shrines and cities were sacked, and many resorted to paying them off rather than oppose them. But other Ronso warlords always replaced them.
"The Cetra had been fading during this period, but one of them named Merlin stepped into place. He asked the Planet to provide them with a weapon that could drive off the Ronso and bring peace to the world.
"And the Planet formed from the Lifestream Excalibur. Merlin drove the sword into the rock. He proclaimed that only the rightful King of all Gaia would be able to draw it. Many nobles sought to draw the sword and make themselves King.
"And then Arthur drew it, not for himself, but for the sake of another.
"Of course, the various feuding nobles hated him. Although his blood was royal, his Father, Uthar, fell from power long ago. And so Arthur was forced out on a journey across the world, pursued by his enemies. Yet wherever he went, he aided others and made friendships. Among them was a girl whose memories had been lost, who he named Gwenevere. Then there was also his half-sister Morgana. And also Lancelot, the greatest knight the world had seen since Sir Auron.
"Soon, the people of the lands he went to loved him better than the nobles who ruled over him. And none could defeat him. In the end, however, Gwenevere remembered her true identity. She was a Princess of Wutai who had been lost, fleeing from a coup and her true name was Yuffie.
"Arthur, Morgana, Lancelot, and Gwenevere returned to Wutai. They reconquered it in her name and were hailed as heroes, defeating the usurper. And Gwenevere gave Arthur rulership of the southern reaches of Wutai. They were wild and empty lands since the days of Sin, but Arthur built his kingdom there. People came from all over to join him, and soon the Kingdom of Camelot was established.
"Arthur married Gwenevere, and together he and brought about a golden age. Though they were rarely together, since both operating on other sides of the country. But Lancelot remained in Wutai."
"So what happened to them?" asked Jessie.
"Camelot fell," said Cloud. "It was betrayed from within, divided, and a dark power rose up to consume the world."
"Betrayed from within," scoffed Lightning. "That's one way of putting it."
"Gwenevere betrayed Arthur," snapped Cloud, feeling his resentment come back to him. "She married him, swore to love him, and then abandoned him for Lancelot."
"Yeah, like he was so faithful to her," said Lightning.
"First of all, Arthur had no way of knowing that Morgana was his sister when she seduced him," said Cloud. "And he couldn't marry his own sister. Secondly, Arthur wasn't stupid. He knew that Gwenevere had betrayed him for years and turned a blind eye to it to maintain the Kingdom.
"He only did anything about it when Mordred forced the issue and made it public.
"It's not his fault Tifa never really cared about him at all."
"Wait, Tifa?" asked Snow.
"It's nothing!" said Cloud quickly. "I misspoke; I was talking about Gwenevere." He sighed, wondering why he'd said that. "At any rate, the Knights of the Round table were decimated by the resulting civil war. And a... well, something rose up in the chaos.
"Legends say that it fused with Morgana. The last of the Knights of the Round table went to do battle with her. Mordred, her son by incest with Arthur, killed his Father and was killed in turn. And Morgana was destroyed in battle with Merlin."
Silence fell over them.
Cloud remembered his promise to Tifa and wondered if she thought about him at all. He wondered if he'd ever been important to her. Certainly, Cloud could not imagine that he was anywhere near as important to Tifa as she was to him.
But if he didn't really know her, did he even care about Tifa? Or could it have been anyone he was loyal to? Aerith or Jessie might function just as well for his purposes. But it wasn't about function; it was about people.
Cloud hadn't made the promise to Jessie or Aerith; he had made it to Tifa. To abandon it without being released from it would be treachery. And Cloud was not a traitor, not like Lazard. "So, Barret, what are you doing here?"
"Waiting," said Barret, cleaning his right arm.
"For what?" asked Cloud.
"For the war to be over," said Barret. "No way is Shinra gonna be able to keep up the heat after what I did to em. And with the two sides eating eachother alive, we ain't got nothing to worry about—no point in putting in the work to kill em if they'll kill themselves.
"The rest of my boys have gone to Fort Tamblin."
"So you're just going to hide here," said Cloud, before looking to Lightning. "What about you, Lightning? What were your orders before you went rogue."
"I was supposed to kill him and his assembled forces," said Lightning, pointing to Barret. "Not start hanging out with them."
"And you didn't," said Cloud. "Why?"
"Hollander made a promise a long time ago," said Lightning. "He hasn't delivered. I don't like getting cheated, and I'm sick of Shinra in general.
"They give orders, and I obey them without question. Well, now I'm questioning why I don't question them."
"What the hell did my batallion ever do to you?!" snapped Snow. "Or the civilians onboard it!"
"They knew the risk," said Lightning. "If they were stupid enough to buy into Shinra's propaganda, they deserve it as much as any of us do."
"Nice comrades, you surround yourself with, Barret," said Cloud.
"Well, on a brighter side, Wutai is going to get a good deal out of the war now," said Jessie.
"No, they aren't," said Cloud flatly. "Even if Wutai maintains its independence, Shinra is going to come after them again later. You've bought them time to prepare for a few years at most."
"Maybe, but all the people we've killed will never drink, or eat, or use energy ever again," said Lightning simply. "That alone has decreased carbon emissions and pressure on the environment a lot. And their bodies are going to be fertilizer.
"If you want to help the Planet, just start killing people."
"Do us all a favor and become the change you want to see in the world, Lightning," said Cloud flatly.
"What are we doing here, Cloud?" asked Snow, looking to him seriously.
"Nothing. We are doing nothing," said Cloud, munching on a ration. "A better question is; Is there something else we'd be better off doing instead?" Snow's plan might work with more manpower, but it would be difficult.
Snow paused. "...Lightning, what did you do to the garrison that you removed?"
"Not much," said Lightning. "I told them to report to Hollander in his Mako Lab. SOLDIER conditioning tends to make them respond instantly to orders. I don't know what happened to them after."
"So you don't know?" asked Cloud.
"I don't care," admitted Lightning. "My unit massacre entire villages before getting a cushy position surfing on a beach. Whatever happens, is no more than they deserve."
"And what do you deserve?" asked Cloud.
Lightning showed no emotion at that. "I think we both know the answer to that.
"I've killed men, women, children with this sword. And I feel nothing. My sister is dead, everyone I know is dead, and I feel... nothing. I watched an entire battalion shot dead in the water because of me, and it means nothing to me."
"Well then, why the hell did you put me in the hospital?!" snapped Snow.
"Because I knew I should feel something," said Lightning, raising a hand and examining it. "I knew that I should have some kind of reaction, but there was nothing there. It's just... curiosity.
"Nothing interests me anymore.
"I don't care what happens to any of these people. I haven't ever since the operation that turned me into this. If I saw my entire family killed in front of me a hundred times over, I would not care.
"The only reason I don't do it is that I've been taught that doing such a thing might be wrong. So I have some inhibitions. But I've already bypassed most of those long ago, so all I can really do is say I need you.
"If I were a story, I'd have been assembled by focus groups based on what they'd seen people liked. No love or care went into the creation of... whatever it is I am. I'm a machine, a killer dress-up doll. Altered physically and mentally for the satisfaction of some guy in a lab.
"The only thing I want is to please authority figures. But those authority figures can be literally anyone. That's why I went over to Barret's side."
"What did Hollander promise you?" asked Cloud.
"To return my sister to life," said Lightning.
"Serah?" asked Snow. "You mean necromancy?"
"No, science. Or scientific necromancy," said Lightning. "I actually feel something for Serah. When I found out she died, I was upset that I didn't care. When I arrived and didn't get to hear her last words, I was angry. I focus on that anger, use it to stay motivated.
"It's like there is a hole where I once was.
"Maybe if I could get her back, I could feel something else."
"How was he going to return her to life?" asked Jessie.
"He took elements of my DNA," said Lightning. "Using it, he planned to create a clone and draw her soul from the Lifestream into it."
"Is that even possible?" asked Jessie.
"Probably not," said Lightning. "I think that if he does anything, he'll just create a clone or something that looks like her. Then he'll program in a personality based on records. I probably wouldn't know the difference.
"I don't have a conscience anymore. Several times I've considered slaughtering all of you to see how you react. I won't just not feel anything, I won't consider it wrong. I don't have a conscience. I'm a puppet."
"Then why would you cooperate with him?" asked Cloud.
"Because I don't want to die," said Lightning. "After I returned from nearly killing Snow, I had difficulty functioning. Without any emotional ties or investment, I was unable to perform my duties. And I had no purpose outside of SOLDIER.
"Eventually, I tried to kill myself. Figured a hard reset might be the best course of action.
"It's a lot more difficult than you think. Overriding your survival instincts is hard. I ended up botching the job and spent a week in medbay on suicide watch. Lazard came to me, offered me a choice.
"I could accept an honorable discharge and be sent to a psychiatric hospital. Or I could start work with Hollander. I thought I might be dissected or made an experiment of Hojo's if I picked the former. Why waste the genetic material? So I joined Hollander.
"That's when Hollander made his pitch.
"I never thought that getting Serah back would fix my problems. I'm not even all that interested in getting it. But as long as I had the goal, Get Serah back, I could keep moving forward.
"Eventually, I ended up helping Barret massacre my own comrades.
"I knew it was wrong, but I didn't care. And I thought that if I was so heartless, someone like me had no business being hailed as a hero."
Snow stared at her. "...Lightning, what the hell did they do to you?"
"Ask Hollander," said Lightning, before looking out at the rain. "I think I'd better head out into the desert and shoot myself. None of you want me around, and it would probably be better if Barret didn't have me as an asset-"
And then Snow grabbed her by the collar and pulled her up. "What the hell is wrong with you?!
"What, so you screwed the world up. And now you want to just walk on out of it and leave us to fix your problems! If you want to fix this mess, then try to fix it! You don't need emotions to try and do the right thing!
"And what do you suggest?" asked Lightning.
"It's simple!" said Snow. "We're taking the fight to Hollander!"
"What?" said Barret. "Since when?"
"The way I see it, this bastard is screwing with the Lifestream and turning people into machines," said Snow. "He's probably doing something evil! And that means we've gotta be heroes and stop it!
"We'll head there, free the hostages, blow the place up and kill everyone!"
Silence followed.
"...Except the hostages, obviously," said Snow. He dropped Lightning.
"...You know, that actually makes sense," said Barret. "Let's do it."
"That's not going to fix anything," said Cloud. "It'll just be one more terrorist attack in the news. Lazard obviously has a much larger operation. What we need are documents."
"What documents?" asked Jessie.
"Think about it," said Cloud. "Hollander is working for Lazard. He is probably one of his most important subordinates. So, he may have documents that prove his guilt. You can't run an operation this large without writing it all down somewhere.
"If we get those documents to President Shinra, he'll move against Lazard."
"But Cloud, we have to free the hostages too," said Snow. "No point in fighting the bad guys if the good guys get hurt because of us."
"Yes, of course," said Cloud. "But there are probably other labs like this one. Getting the proof will help our cause a lot more. Lightning, you worked in the lab. Can you guide us there?"
"Yes, I ran the security there for a year," said Lightning. "I got the assignment for creative thinking. See, there were a lot of villages that were resisting us, and we were short-staffed. At the same time, we needed their manpower.
"So I destroyed all their food supplies. That way, they had no choice but to buy food from Shinra, putting them in debt. In another year, we had them.
"Anyway, I know all the ways in and out and how the guards are trained. With this crew... we should be able to pull it off."
"Hey, um, quick question, Ms. Lightning?" asked Jessie.
"What is it?" asked Lightning.
"Is everyone in SOLDIER a complete psychopath?" asked Jessie.
"No," said Lightning. "Some of them are sociopaths instead."
Cloud couldn't help himself. He burst out laughing, and as he did, everyone else laughed. Everyone except Lightning, who looked around in obvious conclusion. "Did I say something funny?"
"Yes," said Cloud. "Yes, you did."
"Fine," said Lightning. "Then stop laughing, and let's make a plan."
They did just that.