The Warper News Network (the series)

October 2020

(Cues: Z-TV Techno Song)

The logo flashes with three letters, "WNN", the Warper News Network. WNN is one of the three major news networks among reality warpers.

"WNN, the place that's not fake-conservative Fox, idiotically liberal MSNBC, questionably crazy like CNN, and more classy than Nude News Network. We're the Warper News Network bringing you our neutral outlook! Introducing your anchors back in the studio, Prince Vegeta and Bulma Briefs." The announcer said as the camera shows the studio as the two were sitting at anchor's desk. Vegeta looked all the more eager. For the occasion of October, Bulma was dressed up as a playboy bunny while Vegeta was dressed up as Tommy Vercetti from Vice City.

"Well hello there, it's your prince of the mother-" Vegeta said before Bulma smacked him behind the head. "What was that for?"

"That opening line is trademarked by that version of you that's a YouTuber." Bulma said as Vegeta scowled.

"Damn YouTubers." Vegeta muttered.

"Anyway let's get on with the-"

"Hey guys, we got breaking news, Trump has COV-"

Bulma hit Goku off shouting, "THAT'S NOT BREAKING NEWS!"

"Honestly, that's not a shocker. It was going to catch up to him, and we're supposed to be feel bad for him. I don't think so…not even worth laughing or talking about it." Vegeta remarked. "Besides, we have more important things to talk about."

"The debate?" Goku asked.

"The only thing that debate did was ensure that the Order put a ban order on giving several politicians from both sides from getting warper powers. And that was not a debate, but a petty squabble between overgrown children." Vegeta said summing it up. "Now do you have some actual news?!"

"Steve from Minecraft is in Smash." Goku said as Vegeta and Bulma lit up.

"Oh hell yes!" Vegeta said excitedly. "Now that's some good fricking news!"

"In warper news, the election for 2020 on the US in CN-Zen Kuro is going to be appear to be a landslide victory for Tara Strong to get a second term as more candidates are dropping out. And the debate last night was well at least it was funnier than the one on Earth Prime." Bulma said with a sigh. "We'd show footage to lampshade it, but we don't have the time today."

"Why not?" Goku asked as an explosion rocked the building.

"Well, last night, I posted a tweet condemning white supremacy and Antifa among other things. It seems by some twisted logic, they're all working together to kill us all." Bulma said looking at her phone.

"How the fuck does that work?" Vegeta sputtered.

"At least they're working together." Goku said with a goofy grin as their door was kicked open.

"Well, if you excuse me, I need to channel my inner Doom Slayer!" Bulma said pulling out a BFG 9000. "Good night to all of you, and happy Halloween!"

The feed cut out as you could hear the sounds of a raging battle.

(A/N: I think this one sums up the month already, indifference with a bright spot. I wanted to look around for something someone had said to sum up my feelings…and I did. However, I can't get that quote, but I'll just say something of my own.

'Am I supposed to feel anything? I can feel sympathy and empathize, but I feel nothing hearing Trump has got COVID. What do you expect when he has stated it to be hoax, continues to refuse to wear masks, and dissuades scientists? It was only a matter of when he would get it. There's nothing to celebrate about it…and it's disgusting of people to do so. There's nothing to be happy about…Trump's just become another victim of this year among the ocean of cases.'

2020's come closer to full circle for crap year.)