Chapter 10
Okay so AN. Sorry Kiddies. In this chapter we find out about the mating bond. But more importantly we tackle the issue of Jasper being a confederate soldier. It was an issue that I didn't feel I could push to the side. I am white and English, meaning that I don't know a lot about the civil war and as a white person I cannot begin to imagine the implications of the civil war on black people and people of colour. I have tried my best to write the issue. Please keep in mind that I am not excusing the fact that Jasper was a confederate, I think the whole fact that SMeyer wrote him like that was just wrong on many levels. I am trying my best with the little knowledge I have on the situation. If my way of writing Jasper's history is upsetting to any body please for the love of god tell me. I don't want anyone to be offended by my story and if there is anything I can change/do to make it better please tell me in a review or PM. Sorry for the long AN, but I'm nervous about this chapter and felt a warning was necessary
As they walked away from the school Addi tried to ignore the curious and gossip-hungry stares of the few remaining students in the lot. Jasper's hand tightens momentarily around hers, reassuring her over the stares and whispers. At least, unlike him, she couldn't hear exactly what was being said.
Once they were in the trees, unable to see the high school, Jasper stopped. He turned to look at her. A small nervous smile was on his lips. This makes Addi curious, why was The Jasper Whitlock nervous? Any kind of threat he would be able to fight, so what was the issue?
"I've got somewhere I want to take you. Can I carry you?" Jasper asks. He grins as a large smile almost breaks Addi's face. One thing that had excited Addi the most was the idea of eventually travelling at vampire speed. She was a massive adrenaline junkie. Fast roller coasters, bungee jumping, they were some of her favourite things. The speed made her heart race, adrenaline ran through her veins. The idea of moving at the impossible speeds that vampires could, it made her bounce in glee.
"Can we? Please? This would be so much cooler than the bike! Can you carry me and run as fast as you can? I wanna see how fast you can go!" Addi was bouncing in her excitement, her hand still holding his hand tightened to the point that if he were a human there was no doubt a bone or two would break. He smirked with an eyebrow raised. If possible, Addi's heart would've beaten even faster. Instead, a spike of lust flowed through her. Whilst it was embarrassing that Jasper could feel the lust that she felt from his smirk alone, he was just going to have to get used to the idea that she found him attractive. Attractive being an understatement. Her lust was thankfully shadowed by her excitement.
"Really, Darlin'? You're very excited about a ride… with the excitement for this ride and your excitement over riding my bike, well…" Jasper leaned in towards Addi, his voice becoming a whisper. His breath ghosting across her neck. "You seem to be very desperate to ride things of mine. A guy might get ideas…" A gasp left Addi's lips, her legs trembling slightly. Jasper pulled back, his smirk having grown tenfold.
"You… You utter bastard." the flustered human breathes out. Her face was burning bright and a sweet scent hit the air.
"Now now, Darlin'. Watch your tongue, or I will watch it for you." Before Addi could react to the vampire's flirting she was picked up and whooshed off at vampire speed. Her lust addled mind was unclouded by the speed of which she was travelling and the wind whipping around her face. She was screaming and laughing in delight as the trees of Forks continued to speed by in shades of green. From juniper, to chartreuse, to emerald, to pear green the colours bleed into each other and create beautiful hues of nature. With the thrill of the adrenaline and the beauty of her surroundings Addi felt happiness well up within her. There was no better feeling than this.
All too soon the rush through the trees slows to a stop. Looking around Addi finds herself deep within the woods, the trees reaching over a hundred feet tall. They cast shadows on the ground but the occasional beam of golden sun reached through the trees. Continuing to look around, Addi noticed the stream of water that led to a larger pool. A hand came to the humans mouth. She was in awe. The little area of the woods felt so peaceful, so perfect. It was indescribable. Whenever she thought of somewhere peaceful this was exactly what she imagined. Tall trees with a stream, climbable rocks surrounding a small, still lake of water.
Jasper came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. She leant back into the embrace, the back of her head resting by his collar bone. They stood there, staring at the view for a while, the only sounds being that of Addi's breathing, the wind brushing through the trees and the occasional distant sound of animals deeper in the forest.
After a few minutes of silent admiration Addi turned to Jasper, whose arms were still wrapped around her. Meeting his eyes, she felt a large wave of curiosity wash over her. Why had Jasper taken her into the woods? Why was he acting so nervous? Not that she minded being alone with Jasper, not at all.
"What's going on, Jasper? Is everything okay?" Jasper took a deep, unneeded breath. His eyes were cast down, no longer meeting hers. He slowly exhaled and tightened his grip on the human, as if he didn't want to let her go.
"I have to tell you something. Apparently the whole family knew before I did and only just told me, assholes… Anyway, I need you to know but I-I worry that it will scare you off." Addi gave the nervous vampire a soft smile and reached up to cup his cheek.
"Whatever you are going to tell me, I will understand. It's all going to be okay." She thought of calm things, hoping that if she felt calm it would influence Jasper and he would feel better. She closed her eyes, picturing sunlight glimmering through the trees, waves gently lapping at the sand on a calm day, a flickering candle in the dark, star gazing late at night. All the things that made her calm. There was a visible difference in Jasper, the stiffness in his shoulders relaxed and his posture became less severe.
"In short, Addi… you're my mate."
Her lips parted and inhaled sharply. His mate? She couldn't be… right? But how… Alice… Had her coming here ruined his and Alice's relationship. How did Alice feel about this whole situation. She had seen it coming, Addi knew that. That calmed her guilt somewhat. Even so, the guilt was still there.
"Jasper, what about Alice. Is she okay? With all this I mean. She isn't hurt? I don't want to upset her."
"She knows and she is okay. Not a few weeks after she saw you coming she saw her mate. I don't know how it worked in your world, but when i agreed to go with her to the Cullen family she promised that we would find our mates. We never were mates, lovers yes, but not mates. We always knew it would end, it still hurt when it did. I relied on Alice for a long time, she helped with my control and battling my own demons. But yes, she knows and she supports you." Addi stared into his eyes, trying to spot a lie within them. But she couldn't. There was nothing but truth within those golden eyes. The eyes were the windows to the soul, and his soul was pure. Despite what he thought, of course.
"You're sure about this? I mean I don't understand why you would want some random girl who read books about you and is probably laying in a coma somewhere but has found herself here with all these ideas about what should, has, could and will happen. Why would you want someone like me? Sure, I joke a lot about it with Emmett but really Jas, I'm so scared I'm going to mess something up or ruin something or get someone killed. Why would you want," she gestured to herself, "this." Before she could so much as blink she was sat on Jasper's lap, who in turn was sitting on a larger rock overlooking the small lake. His hands started running through her hair.
"You listen to me… I've been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine... and done things I'd prefer you didn't. I've made a lot of mistakes, a lot of wrong calls. One hundred plus years, there are few things I've ever been sure of. But the thing I am most sure of… is you. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say you're my mate it's not because I want you, or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me… but I love what you are...what you do...how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I'll see the best and the worst of you, if you'll have me. I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are… you're a hell of a woman...you're the one, Addi."
Addi couldn't form words, she couldn't think, she could barely breathe. Tears stung her eyes until she couldn't hold them back anymore, letting them fall down her cheeks. She stared at him for what felt like forever, her eyes lingering on every curve, line and scar on his face. She was desperate to remember his face like this, always. Eyes so filled with love and hope.
"Okay." Her voice was so quiet she struggled to hear herself, there was no doubt that Jasper could hear her though.
"Okay?" He asked, sounding confused. Addi leaned into the vampire, her vampire. Their lips only millimetres apart.
"My mate." She whispered, louder this time. Not that it was needed of course. Their lips connected, Addi wasn't entirely sure who had closed to gap, maybe him, her or both of them. It didn't matter. She felt the warm touch of his lips against her own. Rough yet so soft. In that moment, she felt the weight and pressure of the strange world she had found herself in fall off her shoulders. As his hands came to rest upon her hips she inhaled sharply. His calloused hands were firm but gentle. That little support was all she needed to fall in love.
Jasper POV
He felt his mate's love for him swell. He had never felt something so beautiful. Whilst he had felt mate bonds second hand from his family as well as Peter and Char, he never thought it could be like this. He had always felt so jealous of the love other mated couples felt for each other, but what he had felt from them was now like a rain drop compared to the tidal wave of love he felt for the woman in his arms.
Her kiss was indescribable, the way her lips melded against his own. So soft and submissive, The Major was purring in delight in his mind. Whilst she had stood up to him earlier she was submissive to him now. Much sooner than he would have liked, Addi pulled away. Her cheeks were scarlet and her breathing heavy. Jasper felt a disappointed pout form on his lips. Addi's face went from dazed to a small smile as she pecked his lips, causing a grin to split his face,
"Sorry, Jasper, humans need to breathe a lil more than you do." This statement was enforced by her continued heavy breathing.
"I suppose that's okay, darlin. I'm glad I take your breath away. Addi groaned, placing her head in the crook of his neck. However, he felt her shaking with silent laughter.
"That was so bad… I love it." Jasper brought his hand up to play with Addi's light brown hair. It reminded him of autumn leaves when they had fallen to the ground. Her eyes were a darker brown, like that of the darkest oak trees. No wonder she had seemed so at peace in these woods, her features matched the nature around them.
After some time of sitting in each other's arms, Jasper was purposefully not counting, he asked her,
"And you're okay with this? You are sure? You know some of my history but I doubt that your books told you everything. You are well aware that I've killed humans and vampires alike, and the existence of the major. Are you sure this is what you want? I want you more than anythin darlin but I don't want you to feel like you have to be with me because of the mating bond." Addi shot back from her position against Jasper's neck and glared at him. He flinched under her gaze. He was sure that she hadn't thought of the deaths because of him when they kissed, not until he mentioned it.
"Jasper, look at me." Her voice was calm, but he felt the anger bubbling inside her. He looked at her, but not in her eyes. Instead he looked just past her head and into the forest. However this just seemed to anger her more. "Look in my fuckin eyes, Whitlock" He was in trouble now, if he were a lesser vampire he would be scared. Instead he met her eyes.
"Yes Addi?" She made a sound that sounded like a growl. Were she not pissed at him, it would've been hot.
"Jasper Whitlock you listen to me and you listen good. I don't give a rat's ass what you've done, who you have eaten or whatever! I know you did some horrible things, I know you killed both humans and vampires. But you were also kind. You let Peter go! Not all that you did was bad. I don't care that you ate humans, you didn't know there was another way. I wouldn't care too much if you still did as long as they weren't kids or pregnant or whatever. Ideally criminals but the point is, you've done some horrible things. You are scarred and war-weary but that's okay. I do understand that that life was all you knew. I don't care if you enjoyed your life there or if you hated it. It doesn't change who you are in my eyes. You are Major Jasper Whitlock. And the version of you that is in front of me now is all I care about. The fact that the wars still affect you emotionally is okay, you are allowed to feel, to grieve for what was and what could have been. But know this, You are strong, you are kind. You are ruthless but gentle, and that's all I care about. You are my Major. Am I understood?"
As Addi lectured her tone went from angry to loving, he glare softened into a gentle smile and her hands were gently resting on his face. Jasper couldn't help but to look at the human in awe. She was right, he had done some terrible things to people who had done nothing wrong. But, she didn't care. And he could feel truth emanating from her. No one had ever felt like she had about his past. All of the Cullen's, Rose and Em included, had felt wary or sad or scared because of his scars or his past. But not Addi. She only felt love and trust towards him.
"Yes, Ma'am. Understood." He grinned. But she had a thoughtful look on her face. Jasper felt concern well up within him, he could feel Addi's nerves and worry as they settled over her. His grin fell as she climbed off of him and sat on the dirt ground opposite him.
"There is a question that I have for you. There is one thing that I have to understand, because without hearing from you I can't understand." She pursed her lips, likely trying to figure out how to phrase her question. Jasper was worried, he had an idea of what she wanted to ask and it had nothing to do with his life as a vampire.
"You want to know why I was a soldier for the confederates." Addi didn't say anything to him, just nodded. Jasper sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He knew that this topic would come up. It was a subject that he hated talking about, more so than the vampire wars. In that particular case he didn't know better, he thought that it was how vampires lived worldwide and that there was no other way. In the civil war, whilst in the case of the civil war there was a choice, a difficult and horrid choice. But it was there, and he had chosen. "When I enlisted, it was because I wanted the war to stop. My family and I lived on a ranch near Galveston. The fighting was almost on our doorstep, and I couldn't let any of my family get hurt. From what I remember I had two younger sisters. My father had already passed, I don't remember how. And my mother… my mother was sick, dying. No doctor could tell us what it was. But with my fathers death and my mother seeming as if she would soon follow, there was no money coming into the house and not many people were exactly offering jobs. The women were sent to manage over the fields and the men were sent to the front lines. My sisters were too young to work. It felt like I didn't have a choice. I faked my age and enlisted into the army, sending money home to my sisters when I could. I didn't join because I was either for or against slavery or any other reason people fought. I did it because it was them or me and my sisters. I'm proud of my military career as a human because it kept my sisters alive. A couple of years after Alice and I found Carlisle, he looked into my sister's lives for me. They were both dead by then, it was a hundred years after they were both born. But they had both had children of their own, they had both found men they loved and settled down having children. My oldest sister named her first son Jasper, apparently she had understood why I left to fight in the war and assumed I was dead when I didn't return in 1863. I couldn't go and see the children, from a distance that is. Carlisle offered to take me but I refused. I wasn't going to risk my control on my sisters' children. So Carlisle put money in each of their bank accounts. Enough to not be noticed. But for me, in memory of my sisters."
Both human and vampire sat in silence for what seemed like hours. Addi had a thoughtful look on her face, trying to absorb and understand what Jasper had said whilst the aforementioned vampire was nervous. Being in the confederate army wasn't exactly a highlight in his life. Eventually Addi looked up at him from where she was sat on the forest floor. He could feel her emotions pressing against his mind but didn't dare examine them, fearing her disgust and rejection.
"I understand…" the words were spoken softly, almost a whisper. "It was kill or be killed along with those you love. It was an impossible decision but I think many people would've chosen the same as you did. I don't know what I would have done if I was in that situation. Whilst I'm not going to be waving a confederate flag around, I'm proud of you for surviving and helping your sisters survive." She wrapped her arms around Jasper, it felt like she was accepting him for everything he was. He projected love and thankfulness. He was happy that his mate was so kind hearted and accepting. "This conversation has been bit dark and depressing hasn't it?" Jasper laughed, pulling her back down into his lap. He loved when she was there, the human radiated so much heat, both emotionally and physically that he was sure he was becoming addicted to her.
"Just a little bit darlin. Anythin you wanna do to… cheer us up?" Jasper was smirking, his mind thinking of several things that he and Addi could do. But she rolled her eyes, so Jasper doubted that any of his imaginings would become reality, and least not yet.
"Down boy. You haven't even taken me out yet. What kind of girl do you think I am? I've gotta be sure that it will be worth my time after all." She smirked as Jasper growled. Before she could blink Jasper had pushed them onto the ground, the human was underneath him with wide eyes as a gasp escaped her lips.
AN… again. I've got an idea for a little bit of M rated action. If you guys want that let me know. I've had positive feedback about hints at lemons but I want to make sure everyone wants it in the story. Lemme know what you guys think!