Owen's greasy fingers tear off a door marked, DEC. 21, to reveal a sprig of mistletoe. He leaves a big smudge mark on the calendar

The RV. door opens and Owen lets Snots out. Snots sniffs out the lawn.

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JACK'S OFFICE BUILDING

Mid-morning in the business district. Jack pokes his head inside. No secretary. He tiptoes in, holding a poinsettia plant. He crosses to a door, knocks twice.

Lawrence Brigadoon's Executive Office is a vast room with an enormous desk. Brigadoon is seated behind it, having a conversation over the speaker phone. "Get Ed Leftic up here and have him look over these figures."

Jack enters with the poinsettia. "Mr. Brigadoon, merry Christmas."

Jack looks at his boss and sees that he's become Scrooge counting his money. He doesn't look up. "What do you want?"

Edging forward Jack replies gently "It's me, Jack Harkness-Jones. I have a gift for you."

Lawrence Brigadoon is back to normal. ·He waves toward an opposite wall. "Put it over there with the others, Harksball."

Jack can't resist "By the way, sir. Hope my report helped out at the trade show."

"I'm sure it did. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm in the middle of an important call." He picks up the receiver. Jack turns to put the poinsettia on a sideboard and sees it's jammed with about fifty other poinsettias.

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The Taurus rolls through heavily-wooded, snow-covered hills. A big wooden sign that reads - OSHGONOGGIN STATE PARK. A parking lot at the bottom. light illuminates the hill. A warming house. Outdoor CHRISTMAS CAROLS are playing.

Jack, Owen, Alice, Scout, Janet and Rocky are at the top of a suburban park sledding hill. They each have a saucer sled. Jack's on one knee with his saucer sled upside-down on the snow. He's shaking a spray can. "This is a new non-caloric silicon based kitchen lubricant my company's working on. It creates a surface 500 times slipperier than any cooking oil. We're really gonna fly down the hill with this stuff."

Scout asks with alarm "Has anybody ever put it on a sled?"

Jack pauses to consider "Not that I know of."

"Don't put none of it on my sled, Jack. You know that metal plate in my head?" Owen knocks his head to emphasize his point.

"How could I forget it?" Jack nods as he sprays the bottom of the sled.

"I had to have it replaced because whenever Toshiko revved-up the microwave I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for half hour or so." Owen says conversationally as Jack freezes, can still in hand o slowly look up at him with shock "Over at V.A. they replaced it with a plastic one and it ain't as strong. I don't think I oughta be sailing down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brain but a piece of government plastic."

Jack's growing weary of the endless blabbering. Ever since they were kids back in the UK Owen has got on his wick. Seriously, coming to America was a great way o get rid of him but he fucking well followed him like a bad smell. Hell … the entire frickin family did… both families. Let's not forget Ianto's burdens… parents. "Do you really think it matters, Owie?"

"The plate runs right under my part. If it gets dented, my hair ain't gonna look right."

Jack groans and flips his sled right-side up. "Let me go first and see how it works."

"Be careful there, Jack."

"There's nothing to worry about, Owie" Jack mounts the sled. "Going for a new amateur recreational saucer sled land speed record, Jack W. Harkness-Jones."

He sets his palms on the snow and rocks the sled back and forth. It's extremely slippery. "Oh, yeah. This is gonna be some kind of wild ride!"

Jack rocks himself back, holds a split second and pushes off. The sled flies off the peak of the hill. Jack's sled streaks down the hill, across the flat and into the dark beyond. One moment he's on top of the hill, the next, he's gone.

Owen and the kids stand in silent shock. They're stunned by how fast Jack flew down the hill.

Jack's sled sails through the parking lot. He's holding on for dear life, screaming all the way. Barely missing cars, people jumping out of the way and heading for a Jeep. He leans back and closes his eyes in anticipation of serious injury. The sled shoots under the Jeep and out. Jack's sled flies out of the parking lot and onto the street. He reappears every few seconds as he passes through the pools· of street lamp light.

A heavily wooded area. Branches are breaking, BIRDS are roused and SQUAWKING.

A big red and green metal CHARITY TOY COLLECTION BOX bin resting in the parking lot. Out of the darkness into the harsh mercury vapor light of the parking lot, comes Jack and his sled. Sparks fly as he strikes dry pavement.

He opens his eyes for a terrified moment. The collection box is coming up fast. A freshly-painted Santa and the words HO! HO! HO! is on the red bin.

He braces for the crash.

In the distance, Owen and the kids hear the METAL BOOM of Jack's impact.

"Bingo!" Owen yells as he claps his hands with glee.

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Jack's at work sitting behind his desk, staring out the window. John walks in.

"Jack?"

Jack turns in his chair.

"Staying late?" John asks with surprise.

"Just finishing up a few things. Last day of the year for me." Jack says as he smiles at his old friend.

"Have a really merry Christmas." John knocks his knuckles on the desk.

"Thank you. You, too."

John starts to exit. Jack stops him. "Did you get your bonus yet?"

John turns back to answer "I just talked to my girlfriend's son. He said a messenger brought a company envelope to the house.· I guess that's it. Nothing like waiting until the last minute. Did you get yours?"

Jack shakes his head, no.

"If it's not already at your place, it has to be on its way. Don't worry about it." John assures him.

If I don't get my bonus I'm in it ..." Jack places his hand to his nose "... up to here."

"Don't sweat it. It'll come. Merry Christmas."

"Same to you."

John exits

Jack's concerned that something's gone wrong.

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The exterior lights are on. The interior lights are off except for a single light in the kitchen. It's late. Jack's in a red bathrobe, standing at the sink looking out the window. He's lost in troubled thought. He is daydreaming and in his mind's eye he looks out the window.

It's daytime. The pool is in and the kids are in the water. Jack has a big, happy, dreamy smile. Jack and Ianto have joined the fantasy.

He slips deeper into his fantasy.

Mary, the girl from the department store, is bouncing on the diving board. She plays to Jack in the kitchen, waving for him to come out. Jack is in the window, looking out. It's dark inside, light outside. Mary's reflected in the window glass. Jack's in his robe. He shakes his head, "no." He's embarrassed. Big, sexy smile. She mouths, "Come on!" He begs off again. She reaches around behind her back and unfastens her top. He presses his face to the cold glass. She kicks off her bathing suit bottom. His face is severely pressed to the window. The bathing suit bottom hits the window.

Janet appears in the doorway, in her pyjamas, rubbing sleepy eyes. She squints. She sees Jack. Her jaw drops. Jack is leaning against the sink with his face pressed to the window.

We hear a SPLASH. Mary surfaces and swims to the ladder. He's straining for a better view. She begins to rise from the water and ... I

Janet's eyes are wide and her jaw is slack. "Holy shit! Santa Claus!"

From outside. It's dark again. The pool fantasy has evaporated. He's startled. He lets out a sharp cry as he turns quickly from the window to face Janet. Janet approaches Jack. "Uncle Jack! Are you Santy Claus?"

"Boy, you scared me. No. I'm not Santa Claus. I wish I was." Jack sits at the kitchen table and pats his heart. He composes himself. "How come you're up, sweetheart?"

"Rocky bit my thumb."

"Huh?"

"My mom puts bad tasting crap on his thumb so he don't suck it so sometimes he sucks mine and he has a bad dream, sometimes he bites it." She explains, holding up the bitten thumb.

"Oh."

"He's nervous because Christmas is almost here."

Jack senses a problem. He sits down and offers his knee to Janet. "Excited or nervous?"

"Shitting bricks."

"You shouldn't use that word." Jack parents as gently as he can, this is not his child but this is his house and she is family. Right?

"Sorry. He's shitting rocks." She corrects "He's nervous because he don't know if he's getting nothing. "

"Are you in school?"

"First grade."

Jack mutters to himself " Good school system. I don't think he should be nervous. And you shouldn't be either. Because if you're good, Santa Claus knows it. If you believe in him and you believe in your mom and your dad and you've been good all year, Santa Claus will bring you something."

Janet looks up at him with her sweet little face as she admits "Sometimes I think all that Santa crap's just bull. If he was so real how's come he didn't give us squat last year? We didn't do nothing wrong and we got the shaft."

"I know for a fact that Santa Claus is real. And somehow in the next couple days I'm going to prove it to you. He comes to this house every year. I've seen him."

"That's for true?"

"Cross my heart. It's a good idea you came to stay with us, isn't it?" Jack cuddles her as he feels his heart break.

Janet nods "I love it here. You don't gotta put on your coat to go to the bathroom and your house is always parked in the same place."

"I think you better get back in bed."

"How's come you ain't sleeping?" she asks as she slips from his lap.

"I was just looking for something. Did you notice if a man came to the house today to deliver a letter?"

Janet thinks hard as she recalls the day. "Nope. How come?"

"Just wondering. You go back to bed now, okay?" Jack pats her back affectionately and smiles.

"Okay." She slips down off his lap and waddles across the kitchen. She stops and turns back to Jack. "You sure you ain't Santy Claus? Jack smiles and shakes his head."

Janet exits. Jack mutters to himself "I can't even afford to be an elf."

Jack walks back to the kitchen window and looks out.

Mary's bathing suit is laying on the frozen ground in the dark, cold, barren back yard.