Jiraiya, age 17
Dirty, half-eaten plates blanketed the low table, but no one paid them any mind as we made up for three years worth of lost time. My eyes kept flitting over at Tsunade-hime next to me, sucking spicy sauce noisily off her fingers. I found myself unable to break my stare fully, my mind foggy as she absentmindedly wrapped her lips around her thumb to lick off some excess seasoning. She turned her head left to glance over at me, and I immediately assumed she would give me a dirty look. But instead, she pulled it out of her mouth with a 'pop' and simply gave me a thumbs-up. Her grin was interrupted by an abrupt hiccup.
How does she manage to be even cuter when she's stoned?
Dad snapped his fingers at me, impatiently. This isn't the first time my story trailed off while ogling an uncharacteristically oblivious Tsunade during dinner.
When I initially left the village, I didn't go straight to Mt. Myōboku to start my Sage training, opting instead to travel and explore every land in the Five Great Nations. As confident as I was with my stealth skillset, I didn't dare infiltrate any actual Hidden Villages during my travels. Doing so would have put the Leaf Village in major hot water if I got caught. The curiosity of it all nearly killed me, though.
My first three months away from home were spent traipsing through the Lands of Fire, Wind, Lightning, Earth, and Waves. I tried my best to describe the meals I was blessed enough to share, the different scenery I was lucky enough to behold, and all the notable people I met along the way.
Tsunade looked captivated during my tale before she shook her head at me with mock disdain, wrapping a massive bite of noodles around her chopsticks. "I cannot believe you started off your training with a 90-day vacation." She unhinged her jaw and slurped up that giant bite, her cheeks ballooning in size like a chipmunk with all the food in her mouth. My eyes flitted over to mom, gesturing at Tsunade with my head. You know what to do, Ma.
Mom nodded once, understanding instantly. She grabbed her camera from the table.
Click!
Just like that, Mom and I immortalized squirrel girl on film. Tsunade was too high to even notice. I laughed silently before proceeding as if nothing just happened.
"It was hardly a 'vacation.' Well, all the surfing I did kinda felt like a vacation. But I spent most of my time doing favors for civilians and straight-up whooping ass! Free of charge, too," I huffed indignantly, crossing my arms. "Spent weeks helping rebuild a small village, including this big 'ol bridge."
"You're quite lazy, so I'm pleased to hear you put in some hard work for those civilians." Mom smiled at me, and I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. I swear, she can never compliment me without insulting me first.
"When it's all said and done, though, I guess it was pretty fun. Plus, I brought along a ton of gifts for you guys. They're all sealed upstairs."
That last bit piqued everyone's interest.
Mom growled an order at me flatly in the lowest voice she could muster, slamming her manicured fist on the table. "Bring them to me at once."
Dad chuckled next to her. "Your Madara impression is getting better, Ami."
Tsunade buzzed next to me, grabbing me by the forearm with two hands and jostling me like a rag doll back and forth. "Ooh! Save my present for later on today, okay, Baka-chan?"
I gave her a stanky look of dismissal. "Oh, I didn't get you shit."
She blinked once, her mouth dropping open. Then she started laughing, harshly shoving me off my butt pillow.
"You almost got me," Tsunade snickered.
"Like I don't have an entire scroll sealed full of goodies dedicated to you alone."
Dad cleared his throat, pointing to the ceiling. "Less talkie, more gettie."
I brought down their scroll, knowing my dad would prefer to watch me unroll it with care and unseal the thing in front of everyone. He's such a nerd for all things fūinjutsu.
For my mom, I gifted her with a handwritten short story by yours truly. I had made sure to use my neatest calligraphy as I filled in the fancy hardcover book's blank pages. I was anxious, not knowing if Mom would still enjoy my writing now that I'm no longer a cute little kid. She seemed eager to read it, thankfully. I also gave her a fancy aqua blue haori with the Hatake Clan crest emblazoned on the back. The last gift of hers was a hand-painted ocarina, which made her squeal happily and start playing a soft tune.
For Dad, I gave him special paint from the Land of Earth, a black and white checkered haori that bore the Hatake crest in bold red, and a steel tanto with obsidian and pearl inlay on the tip of the handle.
Mom gave her family's ancestral symbol a tired, empty look. Fingers reached out to trace the lines of a diamond. Lines intersected within it to form nine smaller individual diamonds, the Hatake insignia intending to represent the layout of a farm.
"Those haoris are handmade by the best dyer in Lightning Country, Keiko Higurashi. She even remade my flame kimono when I hit my growth spurt." Mom still looked disturbingly blank, and I started to panic. "Now, I know you don't like to represent your clan, but it would make Uncle Sakumo happy if you guys started bearing the crest. You two would look so badass, trust me. It's not like anyone even talks to Grandpa Katsu anyway."
I never learned about what happened between my mom and my grandfather. Though, I'm guessing it had to do with her reputation and the gossip that swirled around the village. Of course, no one ever tells me jack shit about anything.
An awkward silence passed.
"That's because my father died while you were away. Almost a year ago, now," Mom said in a hollow voice.
I didn't know what to think of his death because I hadn't seen much of him since I was maybe five years old. Still, it was shocking news.
"How did he die?"
My mom chuckled without humor, showing emotion for the first time since she played her ocarina. "The way he was destined to," she scoffed bitterly.
What the fuck is that supposed to even mean?
"Cirrhosis of the liver," Tsunade answered quietly, reading my mind. Sensing my confusion, she gave me a soft look. "Alcoholism. He, um, happened to pass away during one of my training shifts at the hospital. I'm sorry, Jiraiya."
Alcoholism?
"Your uncle is officially the leader of the Hatake Clan now. He restored your mom's title as Lady Hatake. For us as well, considering I married into her clan as she was in the process of being disowned."
"As if any of it even matters." Mom looked so upset. I was kicking myself for bringing up her side of the family. I'm just so out of the loop with everything I never know what to think or say. My mother let out a weary sigh. "I'm going to make some more tea."
Tsunade stood up, following her to the kitchen. "I'll help."
My head was swimming with both regret and annoyance when Dad and I made eye contact. "I didn't expect that to go so terribly."
"Ah, you didn't know. She'll be fine."
Mom's garment lay on the surface of the table, folded neatly. "The color stood out to me because I know it's her favorite. I honestly thought she would like it." Her face even lit up when she saw it until she noticed her clan emblem. Way to go, dumbass.
"She's always had complicated feelings about her clan. Please don't take it personally, Raiya. I'm certain she'll tell you why when she's ready." I nodded dejectedly, wishing I didn't sour the entire spirit of the night. "Listen, I'm positive she is still going to wear it. You best believe I'll be wearing mine. Badass was correct. I can't wait to flex my new threads on the entire village."
Without warning, my anxiety started to dissipate. "Thanks, Pop."
He grinned back at me. "Now, can you tell me about your Sage training? I've been dying to hear about it, you know."
Mom and Tsunade returned to the table, setting a steaming pot down in the middle of everything.
"After training up there for several months, I was summoned by the Great Toad Sage," I say around a thick bite of grilled eel. My mom and Hime looked a tad unfazed as they refilled their glasses, not recognizing the importance. Dad choked on his tea, sputtering liquid, and coughing.
"Gamamaru?" His wide eyes bore into mine as he wiped at his chest. "And what was the nature of your visit, exactly?"
"He, um, saw a vision involving me," I gulped, suppressing a shiver at the memory. "A prophecy, I mean."
This captured the rest of the table's full attention. Mom turned to Dad, her face curdled with worry. Tsunade patiently observed us all with silent curiosity.
"Who is the Great Toad Sage? Should I be worried?" Mom murmured loudly. Dad opened his mouth, thinking of something to say, but choosing to say nothing and snapping his mouth shut. Mom reached out to shake his shoulder. "Honey, tell me," she raised her troubled voice even higher.
"The Great Toad Sage is an ancient, highly revered and well-respected toad of Mt. Myōboku. Anything he sees will come to pass. His visions not only have saved the very planet itself but helped birth and preserve the shinobi way of life," Dad finished, sounding disturbed as he continued. "Son, do you remember everything he told you?"
Three pairs of eyes locked on to me, making the hairs on my arm stand at attention unsettlingly.
"Uh, I do have it all written down, but I remember every word."
Letting out a deep breath, I collected my thoughts and recited my prophecy, starting with the embarrassing part. "Firstly, he said that I would go on to become a talented ninja with stupendous skill..." I exhaled. "And a pervert without equal."
Tsunade snorted, still unable to thoroughly read the room of its sudden change in atmosphere. "Even cosmic toads are aware of your lechery?"
"Uh, yeah. I believe the words Ōjiji-sama used were 'he who is singularly pervy...'" I coughed, embarrassed. "I don't know that part isn't relevant," I finished quickly.
My mom gave me a distasteful look despite being initially freaked out at the mention of the word prophecy.
"Honey, you really need to kick that habit of yours. You don't want to be known as the village deviant."
Dad gave Mom an incredulous look, muttering under his breath. "You'd know all about that, Ami."
Excuse me, what did he just fucking say?
The unique thing about my family is that we all have an exaggerated physical sense that gives us an edge over people who are without. For example, my dad possesses eyesight so sharp it could rival the Hyuga if it weren't for the fact that he didn't have x-ray vision. It must be why his art is so fantastic. Mom's sense of smell was so advanced, being able to even smell emotions such as anger or joy. Her nose is the reason her cooking skills are unparalleled. And I happened to be born with advanced hearing. Ever since I was little, my ears could pick up sound from great distances. My super-hearing has forever been a priceless asset to my espionage skills. Anyway, my point is... when someone mumbles something under their breath, I will always hear every single fucking word.
"What did you just say about Mom?" Dad looked at me with bewilderment at my threatening tone. I didn't understand why he would make the same insinuations as the rest of the dumb ass villagers in front of me, no less.
Mom smacked Dad upside the head. "Way to go, idiot," she whispered under her breath.
"Ow! I was only joking because he gets it from you, Miss Peeping Tom," He muttered back, rubbing the back of his head.
Miss. Peeping. Tom?!
"Uhh... is everything okay?" Hime asked, totally in the dark.
"Disregard all of that please, it's just a misunderstanding," she rushed, chuckling nervously. "Forgive us for derailing everything, Jiraiya."
I cleared my throat, praying to the gods that I somehow heard my father wrong.
"Ōjiji-sama said I would walk across the world as a Sage, observing all creation, watching as nature takes its course. I will travel the world twice over, writing books of my adventures. In doing so, I will one day be brought face to face with the Child of Prophecy. Um... that child shall be my student, and they will cause a sweeping revolution to the world of shinobi. Geezer Sage foretold that my actions alone toward the child will shape this revolution as either the world's salvation or its destruction."
Everybody was silent. Mom and Dad never looked so horrified.
"Oh my god, we are fucking doomed," my mother uttered quietly.
What the fuck is with them?
"Can you guys please chill?"
My father's eyes were suddenly like stone.
"You just said there is a 50% chance your future student will destroy the world. We're going to take it seriously."
Tsunade, on the other hand, was a lot more optimistic.
"Eh, so what if it's a 50/50 shot? Those are amazing odds if you think about it."
"Those are terrible odds, Tsuna," my father deadpanned, slapping his forehead with his palm in frustration. I know he didn't mean anything by it, but they could both be pretty fucking rude when they were stressed out.
"This is life and death, not a goddamn game of cards you'll inevitably lose because you're shit at gambling." He pinched his nose in frustration.
Nevermind, he crossed the fucking line.
My fist clenched on the table. "Don't talk to Tsunade like that."
Dad squinted at my fist before his eyes met mine, looking as though he wanted to reach over the table and strangle me.
"You both need to settle the fuck down," Mom warned.
Tsunade ignored my dad's comments as if they were nothing, waving her hand flippantly. She must hear far worse things at home.
Her whisky eyes met mine.
"Listen, Baka," Tsunade said, putting her hands on my shoulders and jostling me while she spoke animatedly. "The Hokage gambles on 50/50 odds every single day, life vs. death, always." She shook me semi-roughly as if she were trying to knock the anxious thoughts right out of my ears. "Sarutobi-sensei has faith in you; I know it to be true. Remember earlier when I said you're the wisest guy I know? You can do this. Kagami and Sanjiro are the best teachers in the entire village, and they're your parents. You have everything you need," she jabbed me lightly in the sternum with a red nail, "right here."
Moments like these made me glad we were teammates. She loves to give me shit, but I know she'll always have my back in the end. Mom and Dad had the decency to look guilty after Hime's pep talk. Their job is to be supportive, but sometimes they're just fucking assholes. I didn't expect an apology because I knew I wouldn't get one, so I quietly dropped it.
"I'll be sure to disclose all of this to Lord Third tomorrow."
"First thing tomorrow," Dad commanded.
Mom nodded in agreement. "I want you to meet me in the Training Fields right after. I'm going to be there with my squad of genin. Your real training officially begins," she said sternly.
"God, why do you guys sound like you're punishing me?"
I don't want to spend my first day back with a bunch of brats and a mad mommy. Fuck all that noise.
"It's not a punishment. We gotta do what we can to prepare you for the future." Despite her stark tone, Mom yawned deeply, and my Dad followed suit.
"It's almost 2 in the morning. You guys should get some rest," Tsunade suggested gently.
Yeah, I agreed internally. Go the fuck to bed.
Mom hurried over to give hugs and kisses to us both. The moment she was close, I could smell sake. Were they drunk this whole time? She looked me hard in the eye like she really meant business.
"Don't keep Tsunade up too late, Raiya. She has an important test in the morning and a long birthday ahead of her."
"Hai."
"Tsuna, your birthday bento is in the fridge. Don't forget, okay?"
"Thank you, Kagami-sama. You're the best."
Dad stopped at the foot of the stairs, swaying slightly on his feet.
"You're sleeping in the den, Raiya."
"Mhm," I grunted. No, the fuck I am not.
"I mean it."
"I know." And I don't care.
As smart as they are, they're fools if they believe for a second I'm not sleeping in my bed with my girl.
Mom waved tiredly. "Goodnight, my loves. Happy Birthday, Tsunade."
Tsunade grinned. "Sleep well."
When they disappeared up the stairs, I felt like I could finally breathe.
"What the fuck?" I whispered.
"I've seen them drunk before, but they're always so silly and happy-go-lucky." Tsunade contemplated. "Never seen them so testy."
"Nothing like my presence to take away their happiness."
"Don't be like that. They're just stressed, I think." Tsunade climbed in my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. "We should do something to take your mind off of them," she suggested in a small, innocent voice.
"Hmm... what did you have in mind?"
I thought she might say something naughty, judging by her sultry body language. She tapped a finger on her lip in contemplation.
"Let's smoke some more and eat sweets in your room. And I wanna watch a movie."
I chuckled. "Whatever you want, Hime."
She rubbed her palms up and down my shoulders. "But first, I wanna get high on the roof and make out."
"Done."
I grabbed her by the neck and kissed her roughly, shuddering at how she always opens up so nicely. My tongue outlined her lower lip timidly, feeling her body flutter against mine in my lap. A low rumble left me before I could stop it, but Hime only hummed sweetly into my mouth. My hands wrapped themselves around her slight waist as I repositioned her higher in my lap, her legs crooked over my hips. I held Tsunade tightly to me, my hand burning hot against the small of her back while the other moved down to feel the smooth skin of her thigh, leisurely creeping its way up in languid circles.
She pulled back a centimeter. "Shouldn't we take this upstairs?"
Glancing behind her, all I saw was the mess from dinner, and I inwardly groaned. My parents definitely want this cleaned up by morning.
"First, I should take care of this eyesore."
Tsunade shook her head. "Ah, hold on." She formed a hand sign. "Shadow Clone Jutsu." A clone of hers appeared next to us and started to clear off the table.
"I like the way you think, Senju."
"Oh yeah? Then watch this. Transform."
Hime's shadow clone went from her exact likeness to Lord Danzō's. Only, he was dressed in a skimpy maid's outfit.
"What the hell! Tsunade, your imagination is filthy."
"What? I thought it would be funny. Now, get back here."
We started kissing again as Lord Danzō cleaned up the living room and started on the dishes. From the kitchen, his smug decrepit voice called out to no one in particular. "I've never been afraid to get my hands dirty in the name of the Leaf Village. Unlike Sandaime, I protect this village under the shadows of darkness."
Tsunade pulled away from my lips. "That's crazy, Maid-sama, because I don't remember asking."
Laughter ripped through me as I captured her mouth again. I can't tell you how refreshing it is to come home and see Hime is healing, letting go of her paranoia and self-consciousness, and finally enjoying herself. I was simultaneously both proud and terrified.
Truthfully, I'd never seen her behave so shamelessly before tonight. But I am all for it, though. She's always been just as uptight as Orochimaru, and yet, only an hour ago, she was suggesting the two of us fuck. Bizarre doesn't even cover it.
I don't care what's gotten into her, as long as I'm next.
Tsunade tilted her head back, a soft cry escaping her as my mouth left hers to press kisses along her jaw, gradually making my way to her ear. My tongue brushed the skin behind it, earning a squirm from her. I nipped her lobe gently, my breaths coming out broken and rough.
"Ready to take this upstairs?" I asked her softly.
"Take me up there. Now," she ordered, sounding like a true princess.
I braced my knees and stood up, carrying Princess Tsunade bridal-style to the stairs. Everything seemed to feel more strange and dream-like with every step I take with her in my arms. My entire body buzzed with anticipation.
Shit, Hime. That's all you had to say.
XXX
had to split up the chapter again for length reasons, so sorry for the short update. i promise next one is almost finished and will be much longer :)