A/N: 2020 had a lot of family tragedy so I apologize for how long it took me to write this last bit. I didn't want to leave the story unfinished or have everyone think it ended where the last chapter left off. Tonight, I was able to sit down and finalize the ending that this story deserves. Thank you all for coming on this journey with me. If you'd like to stick around, there will likely be a Destiel fic or perhaps more Reddie in the future. Lots of love. :)

Richie's POV:

Eddie's eyes crinkled in pain when he saw my reaction to his remark. "Richie..," he said softly, reaching for my arm.

I took a small step back, setting my mouth into a tight line. "Hey. It's fine."

"It's just that…we were kids. I was confused. I'm married." He said the words like they were a script he'd memorized, holding up his left hand helplessly.

Anger flared up inside of me. "You weren't fucking confused, Eddie. Your mom sent you to conversion camp, and they no doubt made you feel so bad about yourself that you suppressed who you were."

"I'm sorry you feel that way," he said softly, wringing his hands. "I'm not..I'm not into men, man. I'm sorry."

"You're lying to yourself!" I said angrily. I was in disbelief. If he'd lost feelings for me, that was one thing. Despite how badly it hurt, it was something I could swallow. But denying such a vital part of his existence because of some cunt sending him to gay camp was such a grave injustice to who he was that I couldn't keep my mouth shut about it.

"Really, Rich? I'm lying to myself? Tell me, where's your ring if you're so self-accepting and progressive? Or are you still sneaking around like you're 18? At least this way I'm able to live a normal life!" His eyes begged me to understand.

"Yeah, married to your mother," I snapped. I glanced anxiously towards the closed doors across the hall, afraid our agitated voices would wake the others. "Listen…stay. Talk. If you…if you're not interested, then that's fine. But you can't just deny an entire part of you even exists, Eddie. You have to be brave."

He looked caught off guard, and for a second I caught a glimpse of the spunky soft-hearted kid I'd once known. The Eddie that had stood in the face of evil and did not cower. The Eddie that had made the step into my arms to kiss me despite living in such a small homophobic town. When I'd begged him to tell me no, and instead he'd insisted 'yes'.

As soon as that raw emotion had crossed his face, however, it was gone. The hardened shell was back up, and I was looking into the eyes of a very tired and guarded middle aged man. "I'm gonna go to bed, Rich," he sighed, rubbing his brow. "You should too. It's going to be a long day tomorrow."

"Eddie," I whispered. I was ashamed of how much it sounded like a low pleading whine.

"Goodnight," he said gruffly, stepping out of my room and quickly closing the door behind him.

—

Eddie's POV:

I could feel tears in my eyes before I even made it back to my bedroom. I'd tried so hard to hold them back. Seeing Richie for the first time at the restaurant had been such a shock to my system that if I hadn't mastered maintaining a neutral expression while my mind was spinning long ago, I would've likely turned to a puddle right there. I'd had to learn quickly at summer camp, however, that becoming a great actor would be the only thing to make my life tolerable, and so I did. I held my poker face when I saw that broad shouldered curly haired man for the first time and all of my pent up and forgotten memories had begun to drown me. I'd bantered with him playfully while my stomach twisted and one by one, nights in his arms so long ago began breaking down the walls inside my head. I'd even managed to hold down the bile in my throat as I'd learned that he still loved me and had to watch the pain in his eyes as I broke his heart all over again.

It was only now, in the safety of my room at the Derry Townhouse, that I allowed the tears to fall as I sat down hard on the edge of my bed. It felt like I had lost a loved one. That was the only way I could describe the suffocating grief that wracked my body as I hugged myself, trying for all the world to hold the pieces together. It had been so long since I'd allowed myself to mourn the part of me that I kept buried. The trips with Myra to movie theater during which I'd reminded myself I was straight as the male protagonist stripped down only by digging my own fingernails into my palm. Shutting the thoughts down before they came. 'Misplacing' her catalogs with the half-naked Abercrombie models and shoving them deep into the trashcan because I was scared to look for too long. Having sex in the dark and praying I could keep it up long enough to satisfy her. Because while part of me knew I was still attracted to women in one way or another, I was not attracted to my wife. When Myra kissed me, I felt nothing. When we made love, there was a disconnect between my body and my heart. But I stayed, because Myra was safe. Myra reminded me to take my medicine and she looked after me and more than anything, she kept me from giving into what I'd been taught long ago were unclean desires.

I covered my mouth with my hands, trying desperately to keep the sobs in as I retraced the planes of Richie's face in my mind. Nothing about that felt unclean. Nothing about the pure love that threatened to burst from my chest with one wrong move or word felt sinful or wrong. Wondering how I could have possibly forgotten such a beautiful face. He looked different now, yet the same; still the same large brown eyes and husky voice, though a tad deeper now. When I recalled the moment I'd first known that I'd loved him as kids, that did not feel immoral.

I'd been back in Derry for six hours and felt more for the man down the hall than I'd felt for my wife in six years.

"Don't do this," I hissed to myself through gritted teeth. I had come too far to ruin it all now. One day at a time. One day at a time, and life with Myra was bearable. I'd built a life for myself. I was straight. I had to be. I had to be, or I had nothing.

My teeth were chattering I'd gotten myself so worked up, so I focused on taking breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth as my hands gripped the bedsheets. I had to pull it together. The phone on my nightstand lit up, and I reached for it with bleary eyes. I wiped them on the back of my hand before squinting at the screen.

6:13pm: I've been crying all day, why did you leave me so suddenly?

7:54 pm- Eddie, have you landed?

8:07 pm-I checked your flight tracker, it said you should be in Maine by now.

*Two Missed Calls*

8:34 pm-I can't believe you left for some stupid childhood friends. You left me here alone.

8:35 pm- Eddie call me.

*Three Missed Calls*

9:01 pm-Edward Kaspbrak text me back please I'm so worried about you!

9:17 pm-Eddie I'm on the phone with United, they said all passengers landed safely and the flight was over hours ago!

9:45 pm- You have some nerve. For all I know you could be dead in a ditch. Call me!

*Two Missed Calls*

10:32 pm- Eddie I need you come home

*Five Missed Calls*

11:19 pm- If you don't call me back in an hour I'm calling Derry police!

*Two Missed Calls*

I glanced quickly at the time at the top of my phone screen, sniffling. It was almost midnight. I sighed and quickly typed out a response:

'Don't do anything rash, Myra. I'm alive and in Derry. Was catching up with friends. Too tired to call, will catch you up in the AM.'

It seemed the message had only been sent for seconds when she replied.

'How dare you. How dare you make me worry. How dare you leave without a proper explanation. You will be sleeping on the couch when you come home.'

I gritted my teeth and stared down at the screen angrily, trying for all the world to calm myself down enough not to type what I was about to type. One day at a time. One day at a time and it's bearable. Don't ruin this, I chanted in my head.

As I struggled to take deep breaths, my thumb hovering above the keyboard, a second message came in.

'Now you pretend you're too good to answer me again after you've left me worried sick all day? Call me right now!'

It felt like the world was spinning. I knew what had to be done. Too hard, I jammed my thumb down onto the screen as a third message from her buzzed in. I didn't even read it. I was too focused on getting my reply down as my vision swam. Finally, and before I could think rationally, I sent it.

'I'm done. We're done.'

I turned off my phone. I gently removed my ring and placed it on the nightstand. And then I promptly ran to the toilet and violently threw up, my hands slick with sweat against the porcelain. I'd done it. For once in my adult life. I'd been brave.

—

Richie's POV:

I woke with a start, confused at why I was suddenly conscious in my dark room. I blinked, stretching slowly with a yawn. I jumped as I heard a knock on my door. It was likely a previous knock that had woken me up in the first place. I glanced the alarm clock in confusion; it was 3:30 in the morning. Another knock sounded, less timid than the first. I groaned and rolled out of bed, fishing my glasses off the nightstand and cramming them on before opening the door.

There stood Eddie, still fully dressed in the clothes he'd worn to dinner. I suddenly felt very underdressed in my hotdog boxers.

His fist was raised when the door opened as if he was getting ready to knock again, and he took a small step back when he saw me. "Hi," he said breathlessly.

"Hi—," I started.

Eddie stepped forward into the room and threw his arms around my neck, kissing me with a feverish intensity like I'd never felt. He kicked the door shut behind him and pressed the entire length of his torso to mine.

What the hell was happening? Was I still asleep? I was okay with it if I was. Too many questions swirled through my head, so I said the first thing I could think of. "Your face is scratchy," I managed between kisses, twining my fingers tightly into the hair at the base of his skull. "That's new."

"Shut up," he gasped, turning his lips to my cheeks, my neck, my collarbones. "Fucking kiss me."

As gently as I could while still keeping pace with his frantic passion, I backed us towards the bed. As I felt the mattress against the back of my knees, I wrapped both arms around his waist and pulled us down.

"Fuck, Eds," I groaned, tilting my head back to allow his lips better access to the hollow of my throat. "What made you change your mind?"

"You were right," he whispered, sucking gently on a spot there that lit my nerve endings on fire. "I'm an asshole, and I'm living a lie. I've lived a lie for so long, Richie, I can't take it anymore. It's suffocating."

The dam opened up and I needed him. I needed him right then. "You're wearing too many clothes," I growled, trying to tug his red jacket off.

From the moonlight filtering in thorough my window I could see the dark scarlet flush in his cheeks.

I touched his cheek in wonder that after so many years apart he still gave the same bodily reactions to my touch. He saw me looking up at him and frowned. "What?"

I shook my head slightly, twining the fingers of his left hand with those of my right. I noted immediately that he had removed his wedding ring.

He saw that I noticed and bit his lip. "I don't think I ever loved her, Richie. That's a fucked up thing to say and I know this is still cheating on her, but with you here…now…it seems as natural as breathing. I'm leaving her. I told her I was. I'll serve the divorce papers the second this is all over." I saw for the first time that his eyes were puffy, like he'd truly agonized over this decision.

"You're sure?" I whispered, kissing each of his eyelids gently.

"I've never been more sure of anything," he said, an embarrassed half smile turning up one corner of his mouth. He straddled my lap, running his hands up and down my sides softly. I sighed at the feeling, closing my eyes for a second. I heard him kick his shoes to the floor.

"I love you," I whispered, fumbling with his belt buckle as he pulled his shirt over his head. The soft moonlight illuminated his skin. The skin of a man. I would have to relearn this body, but it wasn't so different. Not really. He still had that same freckle pattern on his left shoulder, the same olive complexion. The same scar slung low across his abdomen from when his mom had made him get his appendix removed.

"I love you too," he gasped back, shuddering as if the words caused him pain.

"Are you okay?" I asked in alarm, taking both of his hands in mine and looking up at him.

I felt a small splash of wet land on my cheek, and I realized he was crying silently. "Do you realize how long it's been since I could say that and mean it?" he whispered brokenly. "I feel alive again."

I pulled him back down to me, burying my face in his hair for a second to hide my own stinging eyes.

He kissed me feverishly with damp lips, taking my face gently between his hands with a mixture of love and lust burning in his eyes. I knew what he wanted. What we both needed.

As I helped him out of the remainder of his clothing and hitched his thighs up around my hips, he rolled against me in a steady rhythm. The glow of the moon on his face was art as his eyes closed and his mouth opened, a furrow between his brows. How long this man had denied himself what he truly wanted at the fear of being exiled. I reached down at some point and twined my fingers through his, drinking in his every facial detail and expression. We explored each other wordlessly, memorizing lines and changes that had manifested over the years. It was cathartic and so much more than sexual, the way we touched each other in wonder. It was damn near spiritual.

After, when we'd been wrapped in each other's arms for quite some time, we walked quietly to the dated old shower in my bathroom. I turned the radio on low and rubbed Eddie's tense shoulders as we waited for the water to heat up, and he leaned back into me lazily. Neither of us spoke. I kissed his cheek before stepping from behind him to check the water temperature and then nodded to him, climbing in and taking his hand to help him over the edge of the slick tub. I soaped up his hair for him and kissed his lips gently before taking a warm washcloth and slowly wiping both of us down. This in itself was such an intimate act; Steve and I had never showered together, and I'd never had the desire to. That was my time. But this was reflexive. Starting in that moment, I would never let anything or anyone hurt Eddie Kaspbrak. I would make up for not being able to get him out all those years ago, if it was the last thing I ever did. I would never again let him hate himself.

A familiar old tune began on the radio, just barely audible over the sound of the shower, and I was instantly transported to the backseat of Stanley Uris's old '86 Nissan where I'd sung this song to Eddie for the first time.

I hugged him tightly to me under the stream, whispering the words in his ear. "It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you…there's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do. I bless the rains down in Africa… Gonna take some time to do the things we never had." I twirled him and he laughed jubilantly, scrunching his nose up at me when the movement took him out from under the water and into the cool air.

As my first and last love looked up at me with nothing but trust in his eyes, I knew there was no going back. This man would leave Derry with me when this was all over. Once this fucking clown was dead, if It was truly back, we would have a life together. The thought of It didn't scare me in that moment. Tomorrow we would face the unknown…but tonight, slow dancing under the hot water, I knew I could face anything with my brave Eddie by my side.